"Have a safe patrol," said the guard as Abby, Amanda and John guided their horses through the gates. He shot Abby a dirty look and added: "Don't forget to keep your eyes inward as well as outward."

"How 'bout you shut yer fuckin' mouth afore I shut it fer ya," growled John.

The guard looked completely taken aback. "What?"

"You heard me. Now git back up on that gate and stop worryin' about shit you don't know nothin' about." He dug his heels into his horse's sides and spurred him into a gallup, and Abby and Amanda followed suit.

Abby was speechless. She had expected to be defended by Ellie during this visit. Ellie was on her side without question. But she had never anticipated making another ally here, one who would be willing to stick up for her without a second thought. After several minutes she was able to gather her thoughts enough to engage John in conversation. Once John had slowed his house down to a more reasonable speed she pulled Acorn up alongside him, and Amanda brought her horse to his other side to listen in. "Thanks, John," she said, "I appreciate that. But you don't have to do that. They can say and think what they want about me; I'm leaving in a few days. You, though, are staying. Don't piss anyone off that you're going to have to deal with in the future. Not on my behalf."

"I'm a grown ass man, Miss Abigail, and I'll do exactly as I please."

"It's only Simon, anyway," added Amanda. "He's a dick to everyone. Frankly, I wish people would tell him off more often."

This comment surprised Abby. "Oh, so you're on my side too?"

Amanda shrugged. "I guess so. I don't think you're planning on killing us, anyway. And I trust John. He's a good judge of character, and he's on your side. So I guess… Yeah, that puts me there as well."

"Wow," said Abby. "I'm not sure what to say."

"You could say: 'Thank you, Amanda, you sure seem a lot more open-minded than that wife of yours!'"

"I would never say that," replied Abby. "Your wife has good reason to think what she thinks about me. Honestly I'm not sure what I even did to change your mind."

"I was eavesdropping on you and Ellie last night," said Amanda casually.

Abby pulled her horse to an abrupt halt. "When?"

Amanda let out a sharp laugh, and when John looked back and saw Abby's face, he chortled as well. "Relax," Amanda wheezed. "I left before anything private happened."

Her face bright red, Abby said, "All of it was supposed to be private."

"Lookit that, the murderer blushes," said John, wiping away tears of mirth.

"Jesus fucking Christ," groaned Abby, covering her face with her hands. "You know what, I've decided I don't want you two as allies after all."

Reaching over, Amanda punched her playfully on the arm. "Come on, now. Don't you want to know what made me decide to come on this patrol?"

"Not anymore. I'm actually more inclined to murder you both now."

"Dina hasn't said much about Ellie," Amanda said, ignoring Abby's comment, "but she did share about why she left."

As three of them spurred their horses back into a leisurely trot, Abby said, "To track me down and kill me, right?"

"I believe the exact words Dina used were: She was obsessed with revenge. She said it was affecting Ellie's mental health to the point where she was barely functioning. And she said Ellie used to draw pictures of you all over her journal."

"She still does that," said Abby with an affectionate smile. "They're nicer pictures, though, I'm sure."

"I'ma have some questions about that one later," chimed in John mischievously, who had been quiet for a while but was still listening closely.

"And I'll have absolutely no answers for you," responded Abby.

"The point I'm trying to make," said Amanda loudly, annoyed at the interruptions, "is that she hated you - every single fucking bit of you. She hated you on a molecular level. And now… She doesn't. From what I heard last night, she's done a full 180 about you. Now you tell me: Does someone who is so hell-bent and determined on revenge that she'd leave her family for it sound like the kind of person whose mind it would be easy to change? If you ask me, that's pretty convincing evidence that not only are you not as bad as people think, but you must actually be pretty fucking great, because you got someone who hated you that much to fall in love with you."

Once again, Abby blushed. "Yeah, well, she did it to me, too."

"Yes, but I already knew Ellie was awesome. I always knew if I met her we'd get along. But you're an unknown element - I never once considered the possibility that our paths would ever cross. If Ellie is a friend by mutual friendship with Dina, I choose to go along with the implicit recommendation she made in marrying you." Amanda paused, then added: "Plus, my son loves you. My home life ever since you two got here has been non-stop chatter about the Firefly ladies near the orchard."

A grim look came over Abby's face. "Seems like there's an easy solution to that problem. Just tell him who I really am."

"We're not going to do that."

"Why not?"

"What purpose would it serve?"

"He deserves to know the truth."

"Does he?" Amanda glanced over to her, then looked away quickly. "Dina told me that Joel killed your dad."

John's eyebrows shot up on his forehead. "Did he now? That explains a damn lot, don't it?" he said.

It wasn't especially comfortable for Abby to have this information be public knowledge, but she supposed it was unavoidable if she wanted anyone to give her the time of day. People could understand a thirst for vengeance easier than they could understand cold-blooded murder. The problem was that Abby wasn't sure she actually wanted anyone to understand or to forgive because she didn't feel she deserved it. "There was more to it than that," she said, shifting in her saddle, "but yes, that's the bulk of the story as far as my part in it was concerned."

"So tell me, Abby: Did knowing the identity of your father's murderer enrich your life?" Amanda asked seriously.

This question rocked Abby to her core. She'd never thought about that before. How would things have been different if she hadn't known that Joel Miller had been the one to take her father's life? There would have been all the same grief, pain and rage, except she'd have nowhere to channel it. Would she still have joined the WLF? Would she have gotten so deeply wrapped up in the senseless fight against the Seraphites? Hell, would she even look the way she did now? Without having revenge as a motivation, would she have started hitting the gym as hard as she did? Not that that last part was a bad thing - Ellie certainly liked the way she looked, and that was reason enough for Abby to keep herself in shape.

As was so often the case in her life, Abby found herself stuck in the same old paradox: It probably would have been better if she hadn't known who Joel was, but she had to admit that she was glad it had led her to Ellie. Maybe if she hadn't gone down the path she'd taken she'd have found some other happily ever after - perhaps with Owen, or with someone else entirely. But she would never know. The whole thing was incredibly confusing.

Taking her silence as a sufficient answer, Amanda said, "Unless he asks directly, we're not ever going to tell him. He knows his father died in a fight, and that's why he's so interested in fighting. We've taught him to use a gun properly, of course, because it's not smart to let a kid be completely defenseless in this world even if he is immune to the infection, but we'd like to keep him as far away from the darkness as we can for as long as we can."

"I can understand that," said Abby. "But I feel like I have to mention that I met Ellie because of what I did to Joel. And that's… I mean, she's my everything."

"And Dina and JJ are mine. If you hadn't done what you did to Joel, I wouldn't have them either."

"So you understand my point."

"I do. But that doesn't mean I think it's a good idea to tell him it was you that did it. If he can lead a life free of that kind of hatred, then that's what we want. You can't tell me you think it's a good idea to perpetuate that cycle of violence."

Abby shook her head. "I absolutely do not. But lying to him doesn't feel right either."

"We've never lied to him," said Amanda.

"But I have," replied Abby. "I'm lying to him every time I talk to him."

"Well," said Amanda after considering this for a moment, "you're leaving in a few days. Maybe that's not the most ethical answer, but it's the best one I've got."

They had to pause their conversation to ford a small stream single-file, but once they were able to ride all together again, John asked Amanda: "Did y'all really decide not to tell the kid who killed his old man because y'all were worried 'bout that cycle of violence bullshit?"

"Hell no," laughed Amanda. "That's a recent development on my part. Mostly we just didn't want him to go anywhere near this bitch." She jerked her thumb at Abby. "Not after the multiple colossal ass-whoopings that seem to happen any time people try to kill her."

"I'm dangerous," said Abby flatly. "That's what Dina thinks."

"We all are, under the right circumstances," said John.

"And we're not under those circumstances anymore, based on what I heard last night," Amanda said. "I'm trying to get Dina to see that. She doesn't have to forgive you - shit, she doesn't even have to talk to you - but I do think she needs to see that we can trust you. If she can't see that then it means she's not looking, and I don't think that attitude is healthy for the soul. It's only one tiny step away from that blind kind of hatred that tears people apart for no good reason."

"I wish I'd had someone like you in my life before I killed Joel," said Abby. "How'd you get to be so zen about this? Both of you."

"We went through a lot in Amarillo, and during the trip here afterwards," Amanda explained. "Saw all kinds of senseless violence. I'm sure it's nothing compared to what you and Ellie have been through, but certainly enough to know that it doesn't get you anywhere."

They reached a thatch of trees and Abby pulled ahead a bit to hold up a branch and let the others duck under it. As Amanda passed her she asked, "If you're from Texas, how come you don't have a southern accent?"

"I'm originally from around here, actually," Amanda replied. "That's why I knew about Jackson. I went down to Texas with my parents when I was ten. They wanted to see if any of our extended family survived the outbreak."

"And did they?"

"No."

"Damn. Sorry to hear that."

Amanda chuckled. "Abby, you played a major role in the creation of a vaccine. I don't think you need to apologize to anyone about people getting infected. You've done your part."

"Yeah, but-" Abby stopped mid sentence as she saw movement out of the corner of her eye. "Hold up. There's something over there." She swung her leg over her horse and dropped quietly to the ground. Drawing her revolver, she crouched down and crept forward towards where she'd seen the movement. As she moved she could hear that Amanda was just behind her. It was an odd feeling to be doing this with someone other than Ellie after being on the road with just the two of them for so long. Amanda wasn't as light on her feet as Ellie - sometimes Abby had to strain her ears to hear where Ellie was when they were in the field.

Not far ahead from where she'd left her horse there was a clearing in the forest, and in the center of it were three runners - three very, very fresh runners, judging by the state of their clothes. It looked as though they all could have turned as recently as a day or two ago. They were eating a dead animal, although from where Abby was crouched she couldn't tell what it was. They were too far away from the runners to charge them; they would be noticed right away if they showed themselves. And stealth would be nearly impossible with such a large group.

Turning to Amanda, she motioned to indicate that she wanted her to go around the other side and flank the runners. If Ellie had been here, she'd have already started doing that without any input from Abby. But Ellie was an anomaly, more capable and adept than anyone Abby had ever known. Sometimes Abby forgot that until she had to work with someone else. She'd have to remember to shower Ellie with compliments later. Not that Ellie needed any ego boosts. She could be extremely cocky sometimes. But Abby would still compliment her when she got back to Jackson, because she loved Ellie dearly and it made her laugh to see her all puffed up with pride.

As she watched Amanda pick her way carefully through the brush to get around the runners, John came up beside her. "Yer doin' my job again, Miss Abigail," he muttered softly.

"Sorry," replied Abby distractedly. "Force of habit. I got the one on the left. You wanna get the one on the right?"

"Hell naw, I want the one on the left," teased John.

Abby rolled her eyes. "Fine," she said, and she raised her gun, lining it up perfectly for a headshot. Once she saw that the others had done the same, they opened fire. Abby hit her target, and so did Amanda, but John missed his. His bullet hit the infected on the shoulder, and it turned towards him at once. Amanda fired two more shots from behind the infected that hit it in the back, but it took no note of the pain and continued its charge. Abby lowered her gun and ran to intercept it shoulder-first, tackling it with the force of her whole body behind the blow. She wrestled with it for a few stressful seconds before pulling back her fist and hitting it in the face. While it was stunned she leapt to her feet and stomped on it as hard as she could. Its head exploded with a sickening crunch, and Abby stepped away from the mess, panting heavily.

"Jesus fucking Christ," said Amanda, running over to her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," said Abby breathlessly. She noticed that they were both staring at her. "What?"

"Why didn't you just shoot it?" Amanda asked. "I mean, was the head stomping really necessary?"

"I was trying to save my bullets."

"That's one helluva risky way to be frugal," growled John.

Abby shrugged. "I do shit like that all the time. You kinda get used to it when your resources are limited." She replaced the one bullet she'd fired in her revolver and re-holstered it. "You guys are spoiled, I take it? Got a big back stock of ammo?"

"We're pretty well-stocked, yeah," said Amanda. "So next time just fire your fucking gun, alright?"

"Okay," Abby agreed. "As long as I'm here I'll do that."

"Good," said John. "Wouldn't wanna be the one to have to tell that lil lady of yers that we got you killed on patrol."

"She'd probably think you did it on purpose."

"Exactly," John replied. "An' you should know better'n anyone what she does to folk who kill her loved ones."

"If you're trying to get a rise out of me by saying shit like that, it won't work. We got past all that a long time ago," said Abby flatly. Before he could say anything else, Abby walked over to the rest of the dead runners and got her first good look at the mess they had been working on. "Uh oh," she said. "Are all your townspeople accounted for?"

"Far as I know," grunted John. "Why?"

"Because someone in this valley was just a tasty snack for those infected."

Amanda and John walked over and saw what she meant. The infected had been eating a human corpse, though it was so mangled it was nearly impossible to tell it was human. Identifying the victim was completely out of the question, as its entire face was gone. They couldn't even tell if it was male or female. "Fuck," hissed Amanda. "Okay, you guys have fun with this. I'm gonna go check on the horses."

Abby chuckled as she practically ran away. "Weak stomach, I guess."

"Always had one," John confirmed. "That's prob'ly the real reason she didn't like you stompin' that feller."

Moving away from the mangled corpse, Abby turned her attention to the runners. "What about these guys?" she asked. "Do you know them? They just turned really recently."

"Don't ring any bells."

"The fuck is going on around here? We're barely even half a day from Jackson. Why are these fuckers still here?"

"Yer askin' the wrong cowboy. See if you can pull that tracking magic of yers, find out where they come from."

This was not a particularly difficult task. Infected weren't exactly careful about covering their tracks. She was able to pick up a clear trail in a matter of seconds. "They came from that direction," she said, pointing south.

"Alrighty. Let's git back to the horses and see what other trouble we cain't stir up."

They rejoined Amanda and mounted up again, this time with Abby taking the lead to point them in the right direction. As they went, Amanda pulled her horse up alongside. "So how did you do it?" she asked.

"Do what?" responded Abby distractedly, still keeping an eye out for trail markers and additional infected.

"Get past all that shit with Ellie. It doesn't make sense to anyone."

For a long time Abby was silent as she considered whether or not she wanted to answer this incredibly personal question. Once she had determined that she would answer, she worked on figuring out what to say. Eventually she decided on: "I already told you, I'm a selfish bitch. I fell in love with someone I shouldn't have and I couldn't bring myself to give it up. I wanted her so badly, and I do whatever it takes to get what I want. To get Ellie, I had to stop being angry with her and make my peace with what she did."

"And how do you reconcile your love for her with the horrible shit she did to your friends?"

"I don't know that I can really provide you with an adequate answer for that. It didn't happen overnight, that's for sure. I haven't forgotten about what she did, and I never will. It's a part of her, and it's a part of me, and we can't ignore that or push it aside. That wouldn't work. We have to face it head-on. Yeah, she took almost everything from me, but I have been where Ellie was when she did what she did. I experienced the kind of hatred that takes you over and steals your humanity. And I know she feels guilty, because I do too. We both understand the way that feels. Honestly, I don't think I would ever be able to have a lasting relationship with someone who didn't understand the way that feels. I had to end up with someone like her." Abby paused, then smiled wryly and added: "Didn't think I'd end up with a woman, though."

"Shut the fuck up!" laughed Amanda gleefully, a huge grin on her face. "Did Ellie turn you?"

"I guess you could say that, yeah."

"Oh, shit! Nice one, Ellie," said Amanda with obvious appreciation. "That makes two for her. She got Dina, too. I still owe her a beer for that one."

Abby tossed a glance over her shoulder at John, who was riding behind them in silence. "Nothing from you, huh?" she said. "No snide little comments to add?"

"I'm just back here enjoyin' the scenery," he said suavely, grinning. "Don't mind me."

Rolling her eyes, Abby turned her attention back to the task at hand. They followed the tracks of the infected for about a few hours, and it eventually led them to an abandoned house. Leaving their horses outside, they went in and had a look around. "Maybe the family that lived here?" Abby guessed.

"There ain't one," John told her. "Place has been empty fer at least as long as I been here."

The living room had clearly seen some sort of trouble recently, which they could tell because everything in the room was covered in dust and there were patches which had been wiped clean. A lot of the furniture was tipped over, and there was a shattered lamp on the ground. Amanda went around to the other side of an overturned bookcase and said, "Here's something."

There on the floor were four sleeping bags, new to the dwelling based on the absence of dust. "Four of them," Abby commented.

"Three runners an' one hunk of meat. Guess the guy they was eatin' was a friend of theirs," said John.

"With friends like that…" Abby let the sentence dangle without completing the idiom. "Well, I'm stumped. Once again we have a puzzler. Three guys turned and ate their friend? Why wasn't the other guy infected? You'd think if everyone in the group you were traveling with was infected you'd get the hell out of there before they turned."

"Maybe they hid it," Amanda suggested. "Just like those travellers who came to Jackson."

"Could be the poor bastard was infected, but he wasn't quite as big as his buddies," John said. "They picked off the runt of the litter."

"I've never seen infected go after other infected. Have you?" Abby asked. When the other two shook their heads, she said, "So then… What the fuck?"

John looked at the sleeping bags and had a sudden recollection of the day before. "Didn't you say there was four folk sleepin' at that last camp we come across yesterday?" he asked Abby.

"Yeah," said Abby, catching on to what he was thinking. "You think this is the same group?"

"Timing works out right. To get from there to here on foot, would take ya maybe a day, day an' a half. Maybe they was infected while travelin', then turned while they was here. Then they made this mess of the place in the scuffle with their buddy."

"The direction they traveled… They were coming towards Jackson. We're a lot closer to it here than we were yesterday." Abby chewed her bottom lip in concern. "What kind of assholes would get infected and then knowingly travel towards civilization? The fuck were they thinking?"

John shrugged. "Dunno, but it's gonna have to wait 'till tomorrow to find out. It's 'bout time for us to head back if we wanna get there by sundown."

They rode back to Jackson at a reasonable clip. As they passed through the gates, Simon glared at them. For some reason it really rubbed Abby the wrong way this time. She didn't want to cause any trouble here, but after spending the day with two newfound allies she couldn't resist sticking up for herself, even if it was just this once. "Should we do a roll call?" she said loudly to her companions. "John?"

"Present," said John, holding back a smile.

"Amanda?"

"Present," replied Amanda cheerfully.

"All present and accounted for. Look at that - somehow I managed not to murder anyone today!" said Abby with feigned surprise. "Progress!"

Simon huffed and turned away to help close the gates behind them, and the three of them shared a laugh as they directed their horses towards the stable.