Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its affiliates.
A/N: I finally found it somewhere in me to continue with my writing, I'm excited to continue on this story. Thank you for those that have continued to support this story and pairing and left amazing reviews. I sincerely apologize for taking such a long absence. Happy reading!
Tumblr: Shyyynobi
Twitter: Spring_Delilah
M
NSFW
TW: Mild themes of adult content.
Lust for Life
Ride
—
"Because I was born to be the other woman
Who belonged to no one
Who belonged to everyone
Who had nothing
Who wanted everything-" LDR
For once — Sakura had plans that filled up her weekend.
For once, she wouldn't have her nose deep into a textbook — methodically memorizing terms and writing papers. Today she had her plans to go into the city with Itama-senpai and his friends.
Then on Sunday she would have her actual, real date with Tobirama.
At the thought of it, her ears burned a brilliant red with excitement.
Although, her nerves were frayed at the thought of being introduced to what would assuredly be a large group of Itama's friends. Every insecurity she held dearly in her heart after years of being bullied would try and rear their heads, but she had to bite back those inclinations. Karin mentioned her country accent - and although she had been the only one to comment on it, she did come to Tokyo with the insecurity of knowing she didn't sound the same as the city natives.
At the thought — Sakura hugged her pillow close to her chest.
Karin had been gone for two days now, and part of her really really hoped she stayed away for the weekend. Their fight still brimmed at the edge of her mind. It felt like an eternity had passed since then, but no matter.
Sakura spent the morning humming to herself and trying to decide on what to wear.
In the end, she decided on some simple cuffed jeans, sandals, and a white crop top and a red jacket. Brushing out her long hair, she noted that it sat close to her hips now. This was the longest it had been in years, and she puffed air into her cheek to look at her reflection with a speculative pout.
Her freckles from running in the sun as a child dusted across her cheeks.
Ugh.
Everyone here in the city had perfect, unblemished skin.
It riled her to see the typical stereotypes of what a woman should look like perpetuated so heavily here.
Maybe the country was better.
She missed Konoha — namely Ino and Naruto.
She sighed and finished tying Ino's ribbon in her hair. Her hand ran through her pink hair, part of her mind wandered to when her sensei pulled on her hair to bend her further over him - no!
Sakura forced herself to think of anything else. The twinge in-between her thighs started to ache at the thought, and she couldn't believe he had completely taken over the minuscule thoughts that she had all the time.
As if beckoned by her thoughts — her phone pinged! And vibrated against her desk.
On quick legs, the student grabbed her phone with a giddy smile.
—Enjoy your day in the city, please be safe. Call me if you need anything.
- Thank you! I can't wait to see you tomorrow. (:
- Me too
Sakura clutched the phone to her chest and squealed happily. Kicking her feet in excitement, she couldn't believe that her life was miles different than a few weeks ago when she was crying outside of her form after her fight with Karin. She had told her sensei over the phone the night prior that she was going into the city with his brother and some more friends. For a split moment, she thought that he might get upset after he paused, but instead he said, "…I think he mentioned it to me. I'm sure you'll have fun. And it'll be nice to know you're making friends."
On her end, things were completely platonic towards Itama.
So when she bounced jovially outside to greet him when he called to let her know that he was there to pick her up — she stopped midstep when he showed up, large bouquet of white roses in hand.
"Wha-wha?" Sakura stammered, taking a step back when he presented them to her.
Twenty-Four white roses were paraded proudly in his hand, and he was out of his student council uniform and dressed more casually, his hair stuck out in every which direction like her sensei — her heart skipped a beat. "For the most beautiful girl in Tokyo!" He beamed happily.
The her cheeks heated up.
"….Th-thank you!" She grabbed the flowers, but fumbled on how to react.
White roses were meant for love.
Twenty four of them meant eternal love.
Forever love.
Spending days in the Yamanaka shop with Ino drilling what each and every flower meant left Sakura with a peculiar and vast knowledge about flowers.
'If a man ever gives you twenty four white roses, that means he loves you!' She had hushed into her ear, out of earshot of her mother. They were eight at the time, and Sakura imagined in that moment that someone who loved her with their entire being would surprise her with white roses one day.
She didn't want to seem ungrateful, and she grasped them gently as to not drop them even though her palms were slick with sweat, "Itama-senpai…" she trailed off, "do you know what white roses represent?" she asked.
He sheepishly scratched the back of his neck, "not really…but they looked so beautiful, they reminded me of you!"
Sakura couldn't stifle the giggle that left her, "Senpai, white roses are meant to be given to someone you love! I appreciate them, but—"
An odd, yet serious face that could give her Sensei a run for his money spread across the councilman's face, "who's to say one day I won't love you?"
Her chest seized, and the monochromatic male leaned forward to whisper in her ear, "you're beautiful, I'm sure it'll be easy." His breath tickled her ear, and a shiver ran down her spine. The wind picked up, and she clutched the roses close to her chest.
What?
"Senpai…" she murmured, "I-…You don't even know me," she laughed off his comment awkwardly. "And I thought today we were going out as friends!"
Something in him dimmed a bit, and he took a step back.
Sakura looked over him, he sure was handsome.
He held the charisma of Hashirama and devastating beauty of Tobirama. Combined with his height and brains, she could see why so many girls talked about him in her classes. No wonder he was president.
"Right," he replied with a veiled smile, attempting to hide his hurt from being brushed off, "shall we?"
—
Little did either know that a stoic face watched them, a barbaric flare of jealousy erupted in a man's chest when he watched his student receive the flowers.
Tobirama had picked them, but Sakura didn't need to know that.
From his car, Tobirama watched the scene unfold. Itama didn't even notice that his brother hadn't driven away from the parking lot after he dropped him off.
If he couldn't do it — then maybe his brother's affections would steal her away from him.
It would save her from him.
He was too weak to do it himself, but something…Different started to permeate his body.
What was this feeling?
The professor took one long, hard drag from his cigarette before leaving.
—
On the train they sat together, Itama made her laugh so easily.
The conversation flowed between them like lifelong friends.
He reminded her of Naruto — an endless supply of topics of conversation dashed with humor and easy silence.
When they arrived to eat at a ramen shop deep in Tokyo — Sakura was bewildered by the towering landscapes. Their university sat closer to the edges of the city where it began to spread out. It felt like it's own city in itself, but nothing like this. The lights and hundreds of people with a destination that could be anywhere, Sakura was fascinated. Her head swiveled in every direction, and she felt like she was in another country entirely. "Look at that building, it's huge!" She pointed to a large business building, and Itama laughed low in his chest.
"Have you never visited the city?"
"No, I never had the chance. Konoha is nice but….It's so small compared to this!"
He looked down at her with appreciative eyes, she was different than any other girl he had met at the school — or even Tokyo. The little things captivated her, and once she opened up — she reminded him of the budding flowers of her namesake that delighted and bloomed in the spring. They were dormant now as the chill of winter was going to roll in any day now, but he could imagine her at the cherry blossom festivals — she would look gorgeous.
Without realizing it, he had grabbed her hand and made it his personal mission to show her Tokyo.
Sakura didn't notice their hands were clasped together until they arrived at the ramen shop — and a group of two girls and two guys waved them over amicably, "Itama-senpai!"
She learned that the two girls names were Izumi and Konan, and they were both dating the other two male's named Itachi and Hidan.
"Do you guys attend Tokyo Medical as well?" Sakura asked before taking a bite of her ramen.
Izumi and Itachi shared a glance, "we do! Itachi and I are on the student council as well," she answered proudly.
Hidan tuffed, almost laughing at the question, "ha — no, Konan attends Tokyo International Art school. I work at a shipping dock."
"Oh wow!" Sakura praised Konan, "are you from another country?"
With a pierced lip and purple hair, upon first meeting the pale woman looked a bit intimidating, but she had the softest smile Sakura had seen on a person, "…yes, I'm from Germany."
"Your Japanese is excellent!" she complimented, wondering why in the world she was ever worried about her country accent earlier. Konan held an air of confidence that exuded in the air when she just sat there — it almost reminded her of Ino, sans being loud and sometimes obnoxious.
"I met Konan and Hidan through Itachi —" Izumi began.
Hidan slung an arm around Itachi, "—I met this fucker when we were kids," he interrupted, causing Izumi to roll her eyes at him in exasperation.
Their meal was funny.
Itachi and Izumi were more reserved in the conversation, but Sakura could tell these friendships had been kindled over many years. Izumi kept asking Sakura questions about Konoha and her residency. Frequent and frivolous compliments from Itama that made the pinkette sink in her, not used to such high praise by one of her peers. All together, the conversation was lively. Hidan cursed like her old uncle back at home — Itachi and Itama joked with one another, and Konan would reign in Hidan when he started to get too loud.
For the first time since she moved to Tokyo…she was having fun.
—
Tokyo Medical University
Tobirama watched Toneri run around the grass field in main square of the university. He tried not to smoke around his kid, but he had a cigarette hung between nimble fingers. The clouds danced by, large puffy clouds against a turquoise sky pulled by a gentle breeze. It was one of those days where the crisp air of fall began to roll in. The trees were beginning to brown and start their descent. Across the campus leaves dusted the ground. A large oak tree shuffled in it's song above him, and although he should appreciate the scenery on this beautiful day — he couldn't help but wonder what his student and younger brother were up to.
"Ah, fuck!" he spit, hating this.
Something low and disgusting sat in his core.
Why did he suggest that his brother go along with asking her out?
Selfishly, he knew Sakura loved him after her open admittance the day before and wouldn't have room in her heart for his brother. But-
What if?
Was his brother treating her well?
Would they be staying out late?
Would they…kiss?
In another world, maybe they would have met under different pretenses.
He blinked back through his daze when Toneri tripped and began to laugh at himself, "Papa! I was chasing a butterfly and fell!" he announced for the world to hear.
A smile graced the strict professor's lips.
"Come on Toneri, we need to head home."
—
Sakura easily understood why Itama became class president. He effortlessly directed their group to and from each destination all the while doting his time to explain different monuments and landmarks to her. She felt bad because she was sure the rest of the group had all seen these places before, but they dismissed her apologies, so she she safely assumed they knew that this was part of the plan. It took all day, and as dusk approached they exited a museum.
While the boys walked ahead of them to get directions — Sakura hung back by Konan and kept her hands gripped on her pants to ease her nervousness and try to initiate conversation with the girls. Konan and Izumi spoke so easily to one another, and they included her in the conversation but sometimes Sakura fumbled on what to say. She wasn't good with small talk. At all.
"Sakura-chan," Izumi began sweetly, "I hope you join us again, you're so nice!"
"I-ah," she wasn't quite sure how to respond, but smiled brightly, "of course! Well—if Itama-senpai invites me again, I've had such a good time with you all."
Konan laughed to herself a little, "I know he will. I've never seen him like this around a girl before."
Matter of fact.
Sakura blinked, realizing now that…There were two couples, and they were the third.
A fierce blush rose to her cheeks.
"You guys were holding hands when you walked in—you know that Itama-senpai likes you, right?" Izumi questioned with a fallen face, realizing that maybe her and Konan spoke too soon.
At the mention, Sakura hadn't realized that when he was leading her, she had been so amazed by the city that he did in fact hold her hand the entire time. It had felt so natural that she didn't even notice.
"I-Uh, no I know!" she stammered heartily, "he brought my flowers earlier too…"
Izumi nearly squealed, "how cute! Itachi will still surprise me with flowers—"
"Ladies!" Itama announced, "instead of calling it a night — would you guys like to go to a karaoke bar?" he stepped beside Sakura and put his hand on the small of her back.
"What do you want to do, Sakura-chan?"
He towered over her, nearly rivaling his brother's height and she was suddenly hyper aware of his proximity. Was this a date? She told him that they were friends, did she not? Then again, she would be a fool to herself to not realize that this whole day part of her knew coming into this that it could possibly be a date. She accepted the flowers, and she enjoyed this entire day so far. He was easy to get along with…and a very shy, thin thread of her did get nervous around him. He made her chest flare in an entirely different way than his brother.
What am I thinking?!
Just yesterday she was bent over Tobirama's desk.
And now she was essentially on a date with his brother.
Her cheeks burned at the realization.
"I-I should probably get back to my dorm," she murmured half-heartedly.
"Awe, c'mon Sakura-chan!" Izumi pressured, "it'll be fun! And it's not even dark yet!"
Isn't this what she wanted? To make new friends and enjoy her time in a new city where she could brand herself as something different than the odd shy girl?
It didn't take much, but Sakura agreed to it and smiled up at Itama.
—
One missed phone call and text later from her sensei, Sakura's phone lay forgotten in her bag on the seat.
It's late, is everything ok?
With flushed cheeks, the entire group caught a small buzz at the karaoke bar. This was her first time drinking, and after some persuasive words from Hidan and also knowing the owners of the bar, everyone managed to drink. It surprised Sakura at first how lax they were — but she realized she was the youngest of the group. The legal drinking age was twenty, and even though her birthday was five months away, the waitress didn't ask for her ID.
"I come here all the time, they don't fucking care."
As of now, Itama and Sakura were singing a duo song, badly.
All persons in their room were laughing until they couldn't breathe.
"You-you guys fucking suck!" Hidan broke through his laughter and held his side. Itama was off key and Sakura could barely manage to hold a note. If it had been any other group, Sakura would never have agreed to sing. Ino made fun of her for years when they tried to take singings classes in school — and Sakura quickly quit thereafter.
But this — Itama slung his arm around her and they hit the crescendo of the song - even worse than before.
Faces flush from alcohol, the young student had never felt like this before. It was a new sense that made her head fuzzy and insecurities fall away.
Was she drunk?
She only had to two drinks. Everyone else had more than her, but she leaned on Itama for support as the song ended. Giggling until she had to sit down, he sat beside her — never letting go.
"You guys are cute," Konan complimented them, wiping away her tears from laughing.
Itama brought her in closer, and Sakura sipped the last of her drink — forgetting that it was getting late.
"Isn't Sakura-chan amazing?" Itama beamed.
"You better keep bringing her around! I love her—" Izumi paused to grab the microphone from Itama, "which reminds me — how do you keep your hair so soft? This is your natural hair color, right?" With her other hand, she got exceedingly close to the pinkette and played with the ends of her hair to inspect it.
Itachi pulled Izumi away from them, "sorry, we don't normally drink like this."
Sakura shook her head, "no, please don't worry. This is the most fun I've had since I moved to Tokyo! I really didn't think I would make friends like you guys — so I'm really grateful—" a hiccup erupted from her throat.
Her ears burned from embarrassment, and the group laughed again, "it's your first time drinking?" Itama asked her.
"Yeah…I never drank back at home, and well I didn't have anyone here to hang out with."
"Well welcome to the fucking club!" Hidan threw back his drink and poked his head out of the room to grab the waitress so they could order another round.
It was interesting to see such a diverse group of friends. Itama, Itachi, and Izumi were already close to graduating while she was still in undergrad. After moving from Konoha, Itachi needed a roommate since he didn't want to go into the university housing and met Hidan — which in turn led him to meeting Hidan and Konan, and they knew Itama from school. Part of her wanted to ask him about Obito…She had never seen Itachi and had known that his family traveled a lot compared to her ex-boyfriend, but the topic never came up and for that she was grateful.
When she took a step back to appreciate the moment through the fog of her buzz, she realized that all of their personalities clashed in the best possible way.
When Sakura finally remembered to check her phone, she gasped low to herself in her haze, "oh—I need to get home! It's so late."
All drunk and in agreement, Sakura said her goodbyes to the group and drunkenly thanked them for having such a good time. Itama waved to the group and grabbed her hand to lead her to the train station.
"Do-do you live on campus too?" she questioned him once they reached the station, trying to gather herself and focus on not falling.
"No, I live off campus with some roommates. I used to live with Obaa-chan a year ago, but I decided I needed to grow up finally." Sakura almost didn't notice that he was again holding her hand, and she looked up at him. In her daze, the lights of the city twinkled behind him, and the way the lights caught the shadows of his face highlighted his nose and lips that were the exact same as her sensei. His sweet, yet lively eyes lit up as he continued to talk to her — but she wasn't sure what he was saying at this point.
In his place, she saw her sensei. It was wrong, but she couldn't help but clutch him a little closer.
"You're handsome, Itama-senpai," she said softly.
Before she realized it, his lips descended onto hers.
It was a sweet kiss.
It made her heart leap into her throat.
He stayed there, gently pulling her closer. It was unbecoming to show affection like this in public, but all rationale was swept away.
When he pulled away, Sakura was flushed and didn't know what to say.
All that scared her was that…She enjoyed it.
—
With Toneri in his arms, Tobirama felt something stab him in the gut.
It was nearing midnight, and Sakura still hadn't responded back to him. She had no reason to, and he was sure she was safe with his brother — but it felt like millions of pin needles prickled his skin. In a sudden rush of anxiety that he thought he had gotten rid of years ago, he tucked Toneri in bed. He would give them another hour before calling to check in on her. So in the thirty minutes it took for him to calm down his racing heart, he didn't expect to see both his younger brother and student stumbling into his home, clearly drunk.
"I'm sorry Onii-san!" Itama pre-announced in a hushed whisper, leaving Sakura in the doorway, "can you please give Sakura-chan a ride home?"
A simmering rage flew through him.
Sakura kept her head down, clearly unsure how to act. But he could see the flush of her cheeks and the matching heaviness in his brother's eyes, "—we missed the last train near the university and she really wanted to go to her dorm and I don't want her to have to walk miles."
She bowed, deeply, "I'm sorry, Tobirama-sensei!"
"You're drunk," he stated, mater-of-fact.
His brother must have thought he was speaking to him, "it's my fault, I took her to a karaoke bar with Itachi and everyone. But we had a lot of fun! She never gets to go out, so please onii-san? I would have called Obaa-chan but she'll never forgive me."
Of course.
Part of the reason Itama got away with everything was because Tobirama always bailed him out, so it made sense why his brother came here in a jam. Ironically, Hashirama —the drunk himself and one that let his proclivities sway him never caved into their younger brother's situations.
And much to Itama's surprise, his brother agreed.
"Fine. Stay here and watch Toneri, I'll grab my keys."
—
The ride was silent until Sakura hiccuped, and promptly covered her mouth to hide it. He could feel her shame from a mile away, and it made the car hot and awkward.
"Sakura-"
"I'm sorry, Sensei…" She kept her eyes trained on her folded hands in her lap, "please don't be mad-"
"I don't care," he interrupted, "if you had a fun night — that's all I want for you. I drank at that age, everyone does."
"But you seemed so mad—"
"Do you want my brother to get suspicious?" he laughed cordially, "if you were sober I think you'd realize I had to act mad on purpose."
Something dawned in that brilliant brain of hers because she joined in his laughter, albeit a little drunk — but he couldn't help but admire her soft gaze and how her flush drew more attention to the freckles on her cheeks and nose. Still…From the corner of his eye he noticed the slight swelling of her lips and remnants of a small frown that ebbed at her. Usually she was the more talkative one, and tonight she felt more subdued. The care ride persisted with her staring out the window, hands clenched together and her foot wouldn't stop tapping. She seemed….Preoccupied.
"…Did you have a nice time?"
Nothing.
"…Sakura?"
"Oh! Yeah, I did. Everyone was really nice and I got to see so much of Tokyo! It's so huge, I don't think I would manage to see everything in a lifetime even if I wanted to!"
They coasted up to the parking lot and Sakura looked like a caged animal that wanted nothing more than to fly out of the car. He put the car into park and she made way to leave, quickly thanking him and apologizing for the inconvenience. Before she could open the car door, he grabbed her cheek and pulled her towards him, inciting a kiss.
All worry and guilt left her body, and she melted.
He was gentle, yet rough. She breathily whimpered into his lips when his other hand cupped her face, and he wanted to remind her about him — not his younger brother. "You look beautiful tonight," he breathed against her ear, kissing her jawline and tilting her head back to kiss on her neck.
Sakura clenched her thighs together and tried to quell the warmth pooling between her legs. This could easily lead them to parking somewhere — and although she wasn't opposed to the idea, when she opened her eyes for a brief moment she envisioned Itama in the place of her sensei. She put a hand on his arm and gripped him to ease him away.
What is wrong with me?!
"Sensei—"
Tobirama put on a thin smile, wondering why she was acting so…Guilty? "You're right," he admonished, "you need to sober up and we can save this for our date tomorrow."
Sakura thanked him profusely before ushering herself out the door — but not before pecking him on the cheek one time.
When she left, Tobirama watched her back safely enter the dormitory. The doors shut behind her, and he knew there was something that went wrong with the night. Being the intuitive man he was, he figured it had to involve his promiscuous little brother. Did he kiss her? Did they do more? Part of him knew the answer already, but he didn't want to admit it to himself. It wasn't like he could get mad — they didn't establish their relationship yet. She was her own woman, and he was technically still married until the divorce papers were finalized and the shit situation he was in with Mei was settled.
But-
It would be a lie to admit that there was a boiling rage within him at the thought of what could have happened to make her so jittery.
"What the fuck is wrong with me?"
—
"Obaa-chan!"
Toneri was a mini tornado as he stormed through his aunt's house to find her. He made it to the kitchen before being scooped up and spun around by Tsunade, "I missed you!" She kissed his cheek and watched as Tobirama followed in, apologizing on behalf of his son.
"You can't just run inside someone's home — and take off your shoes!" he scolded gently, which made his aunt roll her eyes.
"Stop being such a stickler — he's five."
"Mom and dad were pretty strict with us…" his voice drifted off at the mention of his parents. Tsunade glinted her eyes over Tobirama, sizing up his mood.
"And look how well that turned out," she scoffed, waving him off. "Hashirama is a drunk, you're a stick in the mud, and Itama thinks he's a gift to the world."
"You're the one that raised us!"
"Whatever, now are you going to leave for your date or stay here all day talking with your aunt?" She set down Toneri. He immediately left to search for Ton Ton. "—Who's the poor girl, anyway?"
He flinched, hoping they wouldn't get on this topic, "no one you would know."
She raised a skeptical brow, "well then what's her name?"
"Don't worry about it!"
Tsunade leaned against her kitchen counter, giving him that look. The one where she was determined to get an answer even if she tortured him for it. He was skidding on an extremely (albeit familiar) thin line of her anger. "What is wrong with you?" She snapped, "you never mention your parents — and now you're hiding your date. If you think I care about what goes on in your dating life — I don't. As long as you get away from that witch, I'll take anybody."
Inwardly he laughed, If only you knew.
He would never be forgiven for soiling her favorite student — ever. Tobirama knew Tsunade accepted Sakura akin to a daughter, which made his skin crawl to think of how angry she would be if she found out about them. She would be training her prodigy for the next five years, meaning that no matter which way this ended — he would be facing Sakura. The surmounting guilt he felt was going to eat him alive, but he was addicted to her. All night he tossed and turned thinking about what could have happened on their date, and he knew that he would do everything in his power to make her happy today and scrub her memories of yesterday.
"You'd love her, I promise," he lamented, "…she's like spring." His voice was soft, and it eased his aunt's mood.
In a rare occurrence, and something that Tsunade never did with him, she reached forward and put her hand on his cheek — like his mom used to, "I know I'm the hardest on you, but all I ever want for you and your brothers is your happiness. That's all."
Sakura made him happy.
Could he tell her?
That would be the first step, and maybe she could help him navigate this entire situation. He could feel the confession about to spill. She was handing him a lifeline, and Kami knew he needed it. "It's—"
"Papa!" Toneri crashed into the room, "I found Ton Ton!"
And that was that.
Tobirama reverted back into the cave of his afflictions and bad decisions, purposely kept in the dark by his silence. Tsunade agreed to take Toneri for the night, freeing him up to give his undivided attention to his deserving student. Saying his goodbyes, he hugged his son and kissed him on the forehead before thanking his aunt again — who saw right through him.
—
Tokyo Medical University Dormitories
Her morning was hell.
The lights were too bright, the sounds were too loud.
It took everything in Sakura's power to wake up early enough to get her assignment done and get ready. On top of nursing her first hangover and wondering how people drank so often — she felt sad? A mixture of guilt and uneasiness sat in her gut. She should have told Tobirama about the kiss. Even though she knew that it wasn't a date, she had basically given Itama-senpai the green light to kiss her.
Still.
It was nothing compared to her kiss goodnight with her sensei.
She almost screamed into the pillow. Would he be mad? He couldn't be — he had no right to when they weren't technically in a relationship — but how could she claim to love him and accept a kiss by his brother, of all people!? Wincing at her own antics, she ignored the texts from Itama. For once, she could understand Ino and her ability to juggle different guys — but it made her feel sick.
When she finally got rid of her hangover, a clearer mind forced her to focus on the task at hand — get ready for her date.
By dusk, Sakura felt a semblance of normalcy.
Karin came back briefly to grab some things before taking off again, and they didn't share a word. Sakura put on a simple, red sun dress that cut off high at her thighs and black tights. Finishing it off with her signature bow, she was admiring herself in the mirror when her phone pinged to let her know that he was there to pick her up. Reigning as much confidence as she could, she smiled to herself — satisfied with the final look. Usually, when she looked into the mirror all the words that people bore into here would appear on her skin in ugly scars and memories. Yet for the first time since she had arrived in Tokyo — she felt pretty.
To her surprise, he met her at the door.
It was risky, but considering it was the weekend and most students were elsewhere than the dorms, it was a safe bet. His breath seemed to hitch when she appeared in front of him, and although he couldn't touch her, he smiled and opened the door for her, "you look stunning."
Would she ever get used to his words of affirmation?
It made her chest flutter happily, "thank you, Sensei."
They rode in a comfortable silence compared to the night before. His large hand grabbed her own, and he brought the back of her hand to his lips, kissing it absent-mindedly before gripping it and holding it for the duration of their ride.
"Do you think anyone from the university will be here…?" She pondered, realizing the gravity of what they were about to do.
He seemed to settle in his answer, "no. It's far enough that I'm sure we'll be ok. And there's nothing wrong with us going to a carnival together."
Not entirely convinced, Sakura decided to stop her line of questioning. A large part of her still ebbed with guilt. Should she tell him? The mood between them was comfortable and airy, with wisps of excitement for the day. Did she really want to ruin it?
"Sensei…" she murmured, but before she could say anything further — the carnival propped itself into view. Nothing like the small and rickety things that would come to Konoha, the rides were huge. Stall after stall lined themselves with different stands for food and attractions made something of the normally empty lot that was reserved for events such as this. This city never ceased to take her breath away.
Even the line to park was long, and he squeezed her hand reassuringly, "have you never been to a carnival?"
"Sort of…But nothing like this," she said, mesmerized.
—
Maybe it was the way she would tuck her hair behind her ear when they walked, or the way she would flutter her eyes happily when something caught her attention, or even the way she found excitement in even the most simple things about the carnival — but he wanted her to remember this date forever. She deserved that much.
They ate anko dumplings, which he learned were her favorite. He wasn't much of a sweets person, but for her he would make an exception. When he could, Tobirama would grab her hand and pull her into a tight hug around corners where he didn't think people would see them — and it would earn him a pretty giggle that he found he was getting addicted to.
Until she was dragging him to a ride.
"C'mon, Sensei!" his student begged, "it'll be fun! All it's going to do is spin us and we go upside down a few times and then it'll be over!"
He sighed, "I'll throw up—"
"Please?" she beamed up at him, and he couldn't resist. If that's all it would take to break him, he didn't know how well he would handle a life with her. He paused, that thought almost kicked him out his reality. Life? Here he was, risking his job by taking his student to a carnival because he wanted to spend time with her — and he was envisioning a future.
"Fine," he murmured half-heartedly, scared of where his thoughts were taking him. He truly couldn't remember a time where a woman stole the air out of his lungs and made his thoughts a jumbled mess. He felt love before, he did love his wife, or ex-wife, and he had others before — but little compared to this.
It terrified him.
During the ride, he was sure he was going to lose the contents of his stomach. Her squeals of excitement beside him made it worth it, and after a few more spins he found himself laughing with her. For a ride that was assembled in a day, he let go of his hard exterior and the worries that ebbed him late at night, and by the end of it they were both catching their breath from their laughter.
"See!" She breathed heavily, "I told you it wouldn't be so bad."
Tobirama shook his head, "I'm glad you had fun — I almost threw up." His head still spun with nausea, but he did his best to fight it.
"Do you need me to get you some water?" She mused, suddenly worried. Her brows furrowed in concern, and she sat him down at a bench, "—hold on, I'll be right back."
—
Down a length of stalls, Karin walked with Suigetsu — both slightly tipsy. Hanging on his arm, she almost fumbled over her step when she noticed the pink bob of hair floating happily to a concession stand to get a bottle of water.
"Ugh, who's she here with?" She wondered out loud.
Suigetsu gave her a pointed look, "don't start," he bit out, "I don't even understand why you don't like her, she seems nice."
She pushed her glasses to her nose and scrunched her nose, "it's such an act. She doesn't even have friends, so I wonder who she's here with."
Trying to tug her in the opposite direction, Suigetsu sighed when she took off around the corner to spy on them. When the duo arrived after tailing Sakura, Karin audibly gasped.
"No way!" she hissed under her breath.
"What?" he asked, suddenly curious. Half-hidden behind a stall with a bunch of balloons — they were witness to Sakura sitting beside Tobirama and giving him water.
"She's here with one of the Professors!"
Sure enough, Sakura and Tobirama chatted happily with one another. They looked like long-time friends, and after some time Suigetsu shifted, more annoyed now than anything. "Who cares? They look like friends or maybe their families know each other."
"Wait!" Karin snapped, huffing indignantly, "there's no way they're just friends. She doesn't know anybody here! I knew she wasn't that smart. I bet she's sleeping with him."
He tried pulling her away, "you're being annoying, let's go."
She shrugged him off, "just wait! She's a straight A student, but now I know why!"
And to the unsuspecting couples' misfortunate, Tobirama grasped her hand in the middle of their conversation, looking down into Sakura's eyes. The moment was intimate, more intimate than most couples would experience even though it was such a simple gesture. But it was enough.
Even Suigetsu was speechless, "woah."
Pulling out her phone, Karin snapped a photo of the two.
—
"Sensei!" she scolded, pulling her hands away, "you can't do that! Not even young people show affection like this."
He gave her a pointed look, and the steel reserve he held for the world was slowly cracking to reveal a playful man, "…so I'm old to you?"
If not for the fact that he looked like a kicked puppy, she would have taken him seriously. She giggled and shook her head, "of course not. I don't think you're old, but what if we get caught?"
There the trouble lie.
Out of the corner of her eye, Sakura noticed a string of red hair. Turning to look, all that was there was a man selling balloons, and she let go of her paranoia — but the sinking feeling in her gut made it hard to breathe.
"Are you scared to be seen with me?" he wanted to know her real answer.
Sakura didn't look at him. With Itama, they traversed freely and didn't have to worry about being caught. With Tobirama, she had the sinking feeling because she didn't want to get either of them in trouble. "Of course not," she gripped the length of her dress, afraid to look up at him, "but I think of Toneri…You need your job. Even if I say its platonic, you'll be the one to get in trouble, right?"
It was true.
If not for the barrier of their professor and student relationship, they could be out. Maybe there would be some odd looks because she was eleven years his junior, but those could be ignored. "Let's just enjoy our day."
Like a newly wed couple, they traveled from stall to stall. Some of the merchants would give them things for free, small knick knacks or snacks because they looked so happy together. They ate ice cream, and when she got cotton candy — he watched her happily. For the first time in a long time, he felt content. When the whole ordeal with Mei was over, he felt like he would truly be happy with this girl.
Mei.
Fuck.
The thought of her made him swell angrily, and all he needed was for the divorce papers to get finalized. He would give her the house, he didn't care anymore. They would figure out the custody for Toneri, they could co-parent successfully. It was possible, as long as he had Sakura there to help him through whatever Mei chucked at him. It still hurt. And he hated himself for even thinking of her on their date.
Sakura could tell when his thoughts would stray. Ever strong, she was beginning to learn the tics of when his mood would betray him. His jaw would clench, or he would get quiet and his eyes would glaze over. He portrayed everything that he felt, someone just had to pay attention. "Would you like to go on the ferris wheel, Sensei?"
He blinked back his daze, "of course."
She squeezed his hand, and led him to the large ferris wheel that towered over the carnival.
When they were situated in the ride, Tobirama felt an overwhelming sense of anxiety. He wanted Sakura, he didn't want his brother intruding on what they were growing together. She was his. Between that and the fact that they were out together, and he could potentially see a future with her, and everything to do with Mei hit him all at once.
Part of him felt like he was drowning, and his stomach lurched when the ride dipped to the ground only to go up again. Kami, he was too old for these things. The heartburn from all of the snacks alone were killing him.
Until the wind fluttered his student's hair just right, and it brought his line of sight to her. She was smiling, beautiful and almost ethereal. Sakura held his hand and brought it into her lap, and he really couldn't believe she loved him.
"Sensei," she said softly, "look at how beautiful Tokyo looks." She distracted his torrent thoughts, and he couldn't help but stare at her, lost in the youthful soul that still held a love for the world and people that wasn't scorn by it yet.
They ended up at the top when the ferris wheel stopped, and she beamed at him — happy as can be.
Everything else melted away.
The pink of her hair blended in with the orange, pink, and purple hues of the sunset. It kissed her skin and lit aglow her cheeks, tinged pink from their time in the sun. The city of Tokyo rose in the background, towering buildings and thick, serene clouds danced behind her. He was no artist, he had no ear or eye creatively, but she looked picturesque. "Sakura," he said, voice thick with adoration, "when I look at you, sometimes I don't believe you're real."
He didn't deserve the love of someone so pure.
He was not a good man. Not a decent man either. Tobirama fairly thought he was skipping through life on auto-pilot, doing the things he had to. When his parents died, Hashirama was able to keep that vitality of life within him, but a part of him died after that day. Only revived by his son, he felt that vault creak open when he looked at her.
Sakura didn't know what to say. Her lips parted, but no words came out. Viridian and cerise met. Tender like a lover, Tobirama pushed her hair out of her face and let his hand rest on her cheek. Their lips met in a slight touch — both timid with the explosive nature of what they were feeling. Gently, he delved deeper into her. He brought his free hand to cup the other side of her face, and the wind whipped around them, embracing the two lonely and loveless individuals. Two people tore down by the world, one jaded and one barely hanging by a thread.
Unlike their times tangled in bed — this was more.
Then he kissed her, really kissed her.
Lost in her, she tasted like sweet cinnamon.
It felt like time stopped before they fought for breath.
Sakura rested her forehead on his chin, catapulted by the flurry of emotion she just felt.
"Be mine, please," Tobirama asked her, voice deep and thick in his chest.
She jolted in his arms and looked up at him, "wha-?"
"I don't know what I'm doing, and I've never known — but this feels right. You feel right. I've made awful decisions before, but I know this is the right thing to do. Please, Sakura. We'll figure everything out later."
"Sen—"
"Tobirama, just Tobirama."
She stared at him, doe-eyed and confused, her silence spoke volumes.
"Please don't say no," he hushed, almost too himself — and he looked away, unable to grasp the slight chance that she might say no. He never did this before, he was quick to let anyone leave his life. Most did, some stayed. His emotional attachment to women was few and far between, but this…What was she doing to him?
Before her, a broken man sat and wanted to be with her. The man she quickly admired and fell for. His love for his work, his son, and students are what attracted her to him. He was methodical, intelligent, and morally good. Sakura leaned forward to kiss his cheek, "I want to be with you forever…Not just now," she whispered, "if you'll have me, I'll stay by your side. I am yours. But—"
He slightly pulled away, but she clutched his shirt, bearing her soul for him, "—I want to do this the right way. Once things are settled with her officially, I'll be here. I promise. I told you yesterday I love you, and I do — so much that it pains me to see you so hurt. But I'll be here for you, always. Do you understand?"
It took everything within the pinkette to not crumble. But she thought long and hard about this, and she didn't want to get her heart broken by him if he…Chose to go back to his wife. The thought made her throat dry, and she clenched her shaking hand to calm her storm of nerves.
Tobirama took a steadying breath and nodded in agreement, reality doused him like the times when he would launch himself into the lake as a child when they would vacation, but she was right. "No, I apologize — you're right. I need to take care of everything on my end."
Sakura slumped and rested her head on his shoulder as the ferris wheel began on it's slow descent once more as the people unloaded off of it. "I want to be with you, Tobirama…."
She was terrified he would take her words as a rejection, but they weren't. "—I really do love you."
He stared off into the receding sunset, gripping her thigh with his hand, "we will be, and we won't have to hide it. One day." A large, echoing and hungry part of him really wished he could say those words back, and even though she wasn't expecting it from him, he had to admire the maturity she displayed. She fascinated him.
Together, they got off the ferris wheel and waited for the fireworks. They took a picture on his phone kissing, and Sakura sent it to herself after setting it as her profile picture. She winked playfully when he looked at the photo, "now you'll have something to remember me by."
He laughed softly, he enjoyed her layers slowly peeling away for him. When the carnival came to a close, they left to the car.
"We have one more stop."
A/N:
* I understand that most Japanese festivals are more traditional, but I based this carnival off of the American ones.
Thank you to my readers and fans of this story/pairing. I profusely, from the bottom of my heart apologize for how long this update took. There's no excuse. I lost all motivation. But this chapter is by far one of my favorites. It's the calm before the storm. The fluff before the angst. Thank you for writing such beautiful and touching reviews. I would go back and read them constantly, and for that I can't thank you guys enough because this has been the worst writing slump I've ever had. I hope there's still a few people left that might have wanted an update to this story.
Thank you once again for taking the time to read, let me know what you think!