Cooking always put me in the zone, and with my mom gone, it was meditative. Max stood at the kitchen island with a tablet scrolling through apartments. "See anything good?" I wanted to treat her and her parents to some muffins. I didn't need a recipe, and they were simple with an oatmeal crumble. Mom and I made them so much when I was younger that it felt routine. It was almost like when you're driving your car down the same route everyday, and all you really remember is turning onto the main street, and then you're all of a sudden in a parking spot. I could feel my mom next to me, handing me ingredients and cookery, reminding me that every oven's heat retention is different, and that coating the tin with salted butter gave the base more flavor. She was in my ear, but in the best of ways.

"Yeah, there's some one-bedrooms that are decent. I mean, we could do a studio, or if dad can help you lock down a job, a larger loft would be cool. It's really up to you. I was in a tiny dorm room, and I was expecting the same for college. Plus, we only need one parking spot, so that makes everything a little easier."

I poured the batter into lightly buttered molds and wrappers. "So I'm still your Alfred I see." Sliding the tray into the oven I stuck out my tongue. "It is a proud profession that I have chosen."

Max put the tablet down. "You know, domestic stuff is surprisingly a good look on you."

"Yeah, I definitely take after mom in that way." It wasn't even a full three days since Arcadia Bay was decimated. Max and I refused to turn to the news. We knew if anyone had survived, a big if, that they'd hit us up. It was best if we didn't dig too deep, an unspoken agreement. "So we'll take a look together while these are baking, and then can we go to Goodwill or something? I need some new threads."

"Not quite new then Captain Chloe?"

I glared at her and then went back to cleaning up the spilled flour, grains of sugar, and drips of egg whites. "Do you have a sewing machine here? I kinda want to hit up that spot, Orange Dracula, and get some patches and shit."

"My domestic punk goddess."

I gave a deep bow with one hand crossing my chest holding an invisible hat and the other flung back. "At least you recognize the royalty in front of you."

"Sure." She blew a raspberry with her tongue and went to the living room. I gave everything one last wipe down and went to go flop on the couch with my legs hanging over the armrest.

"So let's take a look my dear."

Max raised her eyebrow. "I can't tell if that was sarcasm."

"I mean I do want to see the apartments."

"I meant the dear part."

"I have no idea what you're talking about." Max scoffed and lifted my head onto her lap. She handed me the tablet, and the apartments were listed in a spreadsheet. Everything was hyperlinked and organized by rent, proximity to the college, and size. "Dude this is crazy. I would've just opened a shit ton of tabs."

"I know. That's why I looked first you dork."

"Fuck! Seattle is expensive. I do need to hop on that job train." I gave a sly smile and opened all of the links so that the browser was crowded with tabs. "There we go. Now I understand your list." Max pushed my head off her lap and slung herself upside down so her legs dangled over the back of the couch and her hair grazed the floor. "Dude, I haven't seen you this relaxed since we were kids."

"Yeah. There's something serene about being back home with you here." She let her hands fall backwards. Max really was innocent in a lot of ways. I wanted to know if she was shoving her thoughts and feelings down to be strong for me. I flipped myself so we both dangled our heads off the cushions. I kissed her on the cheek and held up the tablet. She nuzzled me and sighed. "I just wish it had always been like this. No Arcadia, just this," she abruptly paused, "I don't mean that I wish your folks—"

"I know what you mean Max. You're good. I kinda need it to be normalized you know."

"But you haven't even gotten to grieve."

"There's no point luv. The only person to grieve with is right here with me, and I think you know it comes and goes."

She breathed in and out deeply, "Yeah. I feel bad for saying this, but I think I'm more messed up by the darkroom than you know. Everything else."

"Mom wouldn't have wanted you to dwell on her death. Trust me. She'd want you to take care of yourself. I'd heard her say stuff like that to David when his night terrors were bad."

"David?"

"Yeah. He never talked about what he did in the military. I, I guess I never asked, that's the real problem." I placed the tablet on my stomach and closed my eyes. "Do you think we could go out and try to have some fun tonight? I kinda just want to feel normal."

"I go where my captain leads me." For a while we just clicked through the future Caulfield-Price households. Max gasped. "Chlo check this one out. It's hella perfect!" I took the tablet into my hands and looked at the listing for Tashiro Kaplan Artist Lofts. "See! They're income restricted, and, well, you'd only have to find a minimum wage gig, and we can both go to school. Chlo! I can set up a photo workstation and have a little nook for the drawing tablet! I could get a going!"

"Dude. Chill. It is perfect. I feel kinda bad though. We're not strapped for money."

"Chlo you just lost your family and hometown. Don't you think you deserve this?"

"Fuck Mad Max that was an intense way of saying 'shut up just do something for yourself.'"

"I didn't mean it like tha—"

"You're good." Just let me call the place. The phone trilled and a young man's voice answered on the other line. "Hey. My name's Chloe, and I'm calling to see if you still have some vacancies...Sure...Right now I'm unemployed and my fiance is in school...Okay...Thirteen-hundred? Yeah we're looking to move ASAP. I'm displaced from Arcadia Bay...Yeah, that town...Hold on." I muted the phone. "Max, you cool with going to see the place today? He can draw up the papers since he wants to help us out. Wants to be the first to arrive at the pity party I guess." Max gleefully nodded her head. Her face was pink from hanging upside down. "I'm back. We can be there whenever you have a slot open today...Two works for us...Cool...Really? Just our IDs for now?...Sweet...Yup, Maxine Caulfield and Chloe Price...Great, see you then." I put the phone back in my pocket. "Looks like we're going to see the place. He's giving me some extra time to get my proof of residence together, but he'll give us a two month grace period for it because, you know. All the shit in the town was destroyed."

I rolled off the couch and sat normally, all the blood rushing through me made me dizzy as fuck. Max dive bombed me with an aggressive hug. "You're hella amazing babe!"

I cocked my head to the side. "And you gave me grief for calling you dear? I have to take a leak. Could you call Ryan and let him know?"

Max was practically bouncing up and down while dialing. "Yes!" She shot her limbs out like a star and flopped back onto the couch. I heard her exclamations of joy while I walked to her bathroom. It's so fucking weird that sitting on the toilet is one of the calmest places in the world. I don't know a single person who didn't sit in one during work to take an informal break, just doom scrolling with their brain shut off for a few moments of silence. Bathrooms were a safe place for me, one of those typical teen I-got-bullied-so-I-hid kind of things. My leg wouldn't stop bouncing, and I couldn't stop smiling. Fuck. We were going to be doing this. I washed my hands and rubbed David's ring. "Yeah dude. I'm doin it. I hope you and my folks are proud of me. I'm finally excited for something that'll be good. I know that's what y'all wanted."

I walked out to the kitchen to check on the muffins, and Max was already marking out what the loft would look like using one of the floor plans as a reference. I walked over and put my hand on her shoulder. "Babe, I'm so fuckin happy seeing you like this."

"It's nice being distracted. I mean, not distracted, just that it's nice channeling my energy somewhere that doesn't frighten me."

I had a pang of guilt about last night that struck my gut. All I could mutter was, "Oh."

"Chlo I didn't mean you. You know what I mean, right?" She stood up and hugged me. "It came out wrong. I just need to, I don't know. I'm just—"

"Yeah. You're, um, good. Don't trip." I half heartedly put my arms around her. It wasn't that I was angry, but I think I was a little jealous that she had what she needed. Family, home, me. I really appreciated everything, but I hated being the thing she had to carry. "Um. Do you think I'll ever be someone you don't have to keep saving?"

There was a long pause. "I know I won't have to. You haven't had things go right for so long. Do you think you've even given yourself time to heal?"

I pulled away. "What do you mean by that?"

"I just mean—"

"You weren't there Max. I did the best I could with what I had." I stared into her eyes, not with anger or malice but with shame. She cupped my cheeks with her hands.

"I know you did. I know, I, I just have the ability to help more."

I grit my teeth. "More than I can help you?"

"Babe that's not what I mean at all. Please don't be upset."

I sighed. "Max. Fuckin hell." I walked towards her room and sat on the floor with my back against her bed. I pulled my knees to my chest and started sobbing. I heard the slight clang of the tin being pulled out of the oven, and she came in closing the door behind her. She sat down next to me, and I mumbled without lifting my head up. "The only good thing I did for you was just exist. It's not me and what I can do that matters." She stayed quiet, but I could feel her sitting in front of me. "Like, dude, why am I even alive. I fucking love you so much, but I've just been a liability, something to drive you towards stopping Jefferson. Even now, you're still coming to my aid." I picked up my head and slammed it onto my knees. "Max what's wrong with me?" I fell to my side and stayed curled up in a ball crying.

"Chlo, if I was just trying to save you, I'd be hella selfish and rewind all of this. I'd keep myself from saying the wrong thing to you. If I was just coming to your aid, then I'd rewind things to keep you from ever feeling pain. You deserve better than that even if it hurts. I know you'd be hella pissed if I kept white knighting you. I don't pity you or think you're broken. No matter my powers, you've," I heard her voice crack, "you've made me become better and stronger. No matter what reality I was in, you were always strong even if you died. You've always been strong until the end, whatever that was, and even now I know the weight of what's on you is more than I know I could bear. I want you because I need you in my life. I haven't been myself in years, and you helped me find whatever it is that I've lost. I save you because without you I'm just...I'm just that innocent object Jefferson saw me as. You being in my life made me understand my value. Just because you aren't bending time and space doesn't mean you don't have superpowers." She pulled me back up and the familiar refraction of light in my eyes bent and blurred her shape. All I could see was her face getting closer and her lips opened mine. I felt her knees on both sides of me, and I kept my eyes closed as I felt soft presses against my tongue, the occasional meeting of our exhales. When she pulled apart for a breath she whispered, "Chloe. I'm going to be a Price. You got it?"

"Yeah. I'm sorry I freaked out."

She kissed me behind my ear. "Don't apologize for anything. I've just seen so many versions of you, but you're my Chloe."

I took a sharp inhale when her hair brushed against my cheek. "And what's that mean?"

"You're the Chloe I need to be me. I haven't felt whole since seeing you again." She slightly pushed up against my chin with her hand and went back to me in between breaths.

"I love you so much Max." When I had another moment for breath I said, "Why do you still need me?"

"I don't have answers for everything. I just know." She paused her kisses and pulled my bangs to the side so she could look into my eyes. "I'm not strong without you. You're right. You just existing is what I need. You don't have to do anything to make me a better person. Just you, you in my life is what I need." She looked down and to the side of us. "Do you still want to marry me?"

"Dude. Yes. I just don't want to be a drag." I put my hands on her hips. "I kinda feel like. I feel like no matter what, we've needed each other. Think about it. If it weren't for you I'd be dead, and if it weren't for me, you might've died because of that psycho. Me dying is what drove you the hardest to stop him." I could see her eyes start to well up. "And. And I haven't said this to you, but I know if Rachel had been alive, and if she'd seen how happy I am around you. And I mean really happy. Not just badass happy, but dorky dumb happy. I know if she saw that, she'd, she'd tell me that you were the right person for me. She kinda always knew what was best. I know she would've told me you were. I mean. I guess no matter what, we were going to be together." She shed only a few tears before she leaned in quickly, and aggressively parted my lips with a slip of her tongue.

I was shocked and dropped my hands from her hips to brace myself from the impact. I closed my eyes and focused on the tactile part of it all: the thumping in the side of my neck and the steady heightening of our breathing. She leaned back straight and pulled her shirt up and off her body, and I sat up with her still straddling me to kiss her breasts, to run my tongue along her, to let her pull my shirt off so our bare bodies could press against each other.

I held her with her legs wrapped around me and stood up, placing her on the bed underneath me. "You want me to slow down Max?" She gave me a coy smile and wriggled out of her panties. She lightly pushed my shoulders down, so I kissed her stomach and ran my tongue downwards and in between her legs. Her hips moved side to side as she wrapped her fingers in my hair trying to keep me in place. I kissed her there and felt her wet against my lips, my tongue running in between. I fucking loved the way she tasted.

I remembered the first time I had sex. I had still been in high school, and I didn't want to admit that I was gay. I kinda just let some dude, that was into me, fuck me. It wasn't great, but it wasn't bad. I was just, well, bored. I can't shit talk the guy. Most of us barely know what to do down there when we're younger. I mean porn is great and all, and I'm sure there's women and guys who do really like to fuck that way. For me though, I knew the lesbian stuff online was both the shit and real shitty.

I hooked up with a girl once who told me that when fucking, its a person's job to make sure that they themselves cum. I never really got that. If I wanted to just get off, I didn't really need someone else. There's a thrill to sex. I transcend myself and only think about how to activate the uncontrollable responses of someone else's body. There's a pride to sex. If I can make the other person cum first, then I've done my job. Unfortunately not everyone thinks of it that way, so many times I've been left feeling good about myself without having had myself be made to feel good. Sex is this trial and error of intimacies and connections.

Max outright was the connection. She guided with soft touches of her fingers, and subtle movements throughout her body. She hadn't had sex before sleeping with me, and she barely masturbated. Our bodies just knew how to communicate. They already knew how to speak the other's language. Her's knew that I just wanted a one way conversation today, that I needed to make her feel good to feel good about myself.

My tongue kept moving in response to her twitches and breaths. I slowly pressed my fingers into her, increasing pressure upwards as my tongue slowed and followed with its own increasing weight. She arched her back and wrapped her legs around my head locking me in place.

Max struggled with her own sexuality. For the longest time she just thought she was asexual. It was the romance and idea behind a relationship that mattered most to her. To give the woman credit, that was still the most important, but during her first time she had said that she hadn't wanted to have sex because I had been the person she wanted. Max was fucking beautiful. I mean, Warren wanted to jump her bones the first day he met her. I did feel bad about it though. Her wanting me was a sort of curse. If she hadn't found me again, how long would it have taken her to let herself feel desire? Would she even care if she didn't?

Now though, she was going to have a life with me, so my worries didn't matter. What did though, was the tension in her muscles, the pressure of her hips against me, the moan that spilled from her mouth.