(RAVEN'S PERSPECTIVE)
"I am so tired." I sighed.
Starfire was next to me.
We were sitting silently on the couch knitting scarfs together. I was knitting a light purple scarf and Starfire was knitting a dark green one.
Starfire replied, "I can tell."
"Eh," I shrugged, "I don't know sleep has been like chickens lately."
I slipped the needle through the fabric.
"Huh?" Starfire raised her eyebrows.
"Chickens. I'm allergic to them." I giggled.
"Ooooooh! So you are referring to the fact that it feels as if you are allergic to sleep." Starfire laughed.
"Yeah."
"Tell me, Raven, why do you think your sleep is not... normal?"
"No idea. I can't keep a sleep pattern at all. Sometimes I am sweaty or pained somewhere. Just two days ago I had a really bad nightmare."
"That is not good at all. Has anything happened to you?"
"No, no, nothing happened. Something is bothering me, though, and I can't identify it."
"Hmmmm... you need some Plahtsuf or Gneekumla." Starfire stopped knitting.
"Some what?" I unraveled a patch and restarted.
I felt tension climb all over my mind. Each second came a strange apprehension, sweat, and short breaths.
Something bad was awry.
"That drink I told you about a while ago, it has pig legs and zorka berries for times of depression. Gneekulma is for restless nights and to heal a stubbed toe. Pygratt is..."
"Okay, okay, I've heard it all."
Starfire shrank back innocently.
"I'm sorry, Starfire. I'm not feeling like myself and I haven't since a few weeks ago. Don't sit here and let me take out my emotional confusion on you." I gently touched her shoulder and stopped knitting.
"I understand, Raven. There were times I also felt like I was in a cave. A cave with roaring bears and screeching bats. I felt like there was no way out and that I should let all the creatures feast on me. But there are times where a piece of gold shines in the cave, maybe more. The noise of my past and the present still haunted me but the gold kept me going. It gave me hope and made the darkness a bit quieter. I had four golden pieces in my cave, and I am glad you are one of them."
She smiled tenderly.
"You are one of mine, too, Starfire."
We shared a heartfelt embrace.
"I love you very much, Friend Raven. I do not want you to feel how I felt. I don't want you to feel unloved or alone. I want you to know you are accompanied and very much loved by everyone, especially me." Starfire sniffed and wiped tears away.
"Aw, Starfire, that was nice. I love you, too." I said in my monotone.
Starfire smiled warmly.
"There's nothing to it, though, Starfire. Several restless nights, nothing compared to what I have been through. It'll pass through I am sure." The alien frowned.
"Yes, surely, we tell ourselves that but is that really true? I feel as if us humans and aliens...We tend to force ourselves that all is well when it is nowhere near well. We push ourselves to listen to sirens. Sirens that trick us to hide and run away from how we truly feel. The only horror is, is when we take off our costumes."
Starfire could be classified as "'naïve", but she knew a lot more than anyone would think.
"There's nothing to take off, this is me. I'm Raven. I'm a demon descendant, my mother's reminder of her suicidal thoughts, a sentinel of magic, a bookworm, a depressing café lover that plays chess and meditates to control her emotions. I've learned to put everything in a box, tape it up, and ship it away. I don't have anything to take off or to dig up. I have no clue if I am even in a cave or walking right into another one. I don't really feel anything, my days of feeling have been long gone. This is me... I'm numb." I stolidly looked at my silver palms.
"Remember, we may be at a peak and know we are going back down a valley. But when we are in a valley we must hope for the peak." Starfire advised.
"You're right. I always try to have hope. Even if I don't feel like it."
"RAVEN! STARFIRE!"
Robin's anxious voice spread chills onto my body.
I knew it, something bad was happening.
"Yes, Robin? What is the issue?" Starfire asked back urgently.
"It's Beastboy. He collapsed at the field while he was with Cyborg. He's not responsive."
My mind raced with frenzied thoughts, "Oh, gosh…"
"We have to set up the Medical Wing." Starfire's asserted, and we flew down the hallway.
"Star, activate the heart rate machine." Robin commanded.
I looked around at the Medical Wing.
Anytime we came in here it usually was not for anything good.
I fanned my clammy hands, my lungs became tight.
The clouds blanketed the Sun and the Room became darker.
No, no, no. Beastboy, please be okay, please be okay.
"I have to fix up the vital systems. Raven?"
"Yes, Robin?"
"Breathe." he gently whispered.
Robin motioned me towards the chair and I sat down.
I heard panting near the Room along with metal footsteps.
The machines started to hum as Cyborg put Beastboy on the bed.
Beastboy was staring blankly at the ceiling and twitching uncontrollably. A small stream of blood left his lips because he was biting his tongue involuntarily. His paling body trembled and shivered severely.
Starfire gasped and dropped the item in her hand.
"What's happening to him?"
"Seizure. My mother had one when I was six. We had to cancel the show that day."
Robin shook his head.
It sucked how all of us could save lives and defeat bad guys, but one little thought of our pasts could be pulled from the back of our heads and scare us again.
Cyborg began to hook Beastboy up to the machines hastily.
"No! No, don't do that, leave Beastboy alone. Any sharp objects or restrictions of movement will hurt him." Robin commanded.
"Well what do I do!?" Cyborg dropped the wires.
"Place him on the side and keep his airways clear."
The boys shifted the changeling on his side.
"Cyborg, how long has this been going on?" Robin queried.
"About fifteen minutes." Cyborg sighed.
"FIFTEEN!? A seizure should last from one to three minutes!" Robin exclaimed.
"After thirty minutes brain damage or death occurs. Hopefully he stops before then. Are you sure there is nothing we can do?"
Robin paced nervously, "No, Cyborg... we can't."
"Perhaps we should pour water on him to bring him back?" Starfire suggested quietly.
"That can't work on seizures, Star."
My leg was shaking as sweat doused my back.
"I can't." I covered my face as my eyes began to tear up.
Keep hope Raven, keep hope.
He will be okay.
"Hey, he stopped!" Cyborg cheered.
"Ow! please be quiet..."
Beastboy's words were slurred.
"Hey, are you okay?" Robin whispered.
"I guess. I- I don't even know what happened."
I wiped away my tears so no one could see, then lowered my hands from my face.
I sighed in relief, and walked towards my friend. His previous condition was still replaying in my mind.
"You had a pretty long seizure." Cyborg typed on a keyboard.
"Really?" Beastboy sunk his head into the pillow.
"Yes, it was quite nerve racking." Starfire shivered.
"No kidding. I feel like my brain has been in an earthquake." Beastboy held his head.
"That's basically what happens when you have a seizure." Robin said.
"B, tell me how you feel." Cyborg ordered.
"A headache, a bit queasy, and sweaty, but I'm okay."
Cyborg wrote diligently on a clipboard.
"We'll keep you here for a little to see how it all plays out. Are you hungry? You'd have to wait a few minutes to eat in case another episode occurs, but we can prep something for yah." Cyborg offered.
"Nah, I'm okay. The only thing I wanna eat is some sleep cuz' I'm tired."
We all laughed.
"Eat sleep? Earth is full of such strange things and people." Starfire chuckled.
"After going through all of that, it would be strange if you didn't want sleep." Robin claimed.
"Yeah, let's check your vitals and update them." Cyborg suggested.
"Alright." Beastboy sat up steadily.
His face was crinkled in pain since he woke up.
I timidly neared the green meta human.
"Hi."
"Hey, Raven." Beastboy smiled dimly.
I smiled a bit, glad to see that Beastboy recovered from his episode.
"Are you sure you're... okay?"
"Yeah, I'm fine. Still feeling a little off, but I'm good, Raven," Beastboy grimaced, "I'm good."
He lied to me.
All the same, I realized Starfire was right. We all lie so no one can know how we really feel.
I also recognized, I wasn't numb at all.
Beastboy made me feel more than I ever could.