I know it has been way too long since I last updated but I am back... I hope.
The story continues during the events of 8x04. The next chapter will take place right after the end and then it depends on next week's episode (for which I am sooooo excited).
Can't wait to read your reviews and ideas as always.
Jay walked out of the interrogation room shaking his head.
"This guy is unbelievable," he muttered.
He approached Hailey who had stormed out only a few seconds before him. One look into her red eyes and he immediately knew that something was wrong with her.
"What?" he wondered.
"Your speech," she snapped, bitterness evident in her tone. "Good people know people are flawed? That they do stupid things sometimes?"
Jay frowned his eyebrows in surprise. "Hailey I wasn't walking about you, I was talking about Zack. I know what your father is and that he was abusive."
"You don't know the half of it," Hailey swallowed hard trying to keep her tears back.
"No, you are right I don't, I am sorry. You know I am on your side. I am just trying to help," his voice soft and reassuring.
"I don't want your help, not with this," Hailey coldly stated and turned her back on him, leaving him speechless.
Before he could say or do anything, Voight walked in on them. It only took one glimpse at both of them and he knew that something was wrong.
"How did it go with Zack?" he asked clearly ignoring Hailey's puffed eyes.
"He's not talking," Jay jumped in and answered but Voight's eyes were landed on his blonde partner.
"Alright, take him home," their sergeant ordered and walked away.
Did he know that since last night everything had changed? Well, of course he knew. He had to. He was Voight. That guy knew everything before everyone.
Up until that exact moment Jay had been on cloud seven and hadn't even thought about Voight's reaction.
His rule about office romances was well established but also well broken by almost everyone. One thing was for sure though. None of them had ever let their personal relationships interfere with their work.
That was the "deal" he made with Hailey the moment they landed on the bed. In order to make it work they had to separate home from work. So much for a deal. Day one and it was already broken.
Jay opened his mouth to talk to Hailey, but before any words could come out she was already following Voight. She didn't even look at Jay. From his perspective, she was running away from him.
He wanted to grab her arm and pull her in his hug. Scream from the bottom of his lungs that no matter what, he was there to protect her. That he would never do anything to hurt her, physically or emotionally.
At that moment though, she had driven a knife through his heart. What the hell was that reaction about? How could she believe that he was in any way judging her? Regardless of their current relationship status, he would never push or force her to do anything despite her will. Didn't she know him at all? What could her father have possibly done to wreck her in such a way?
It was obvious that he was not getting an answer any time soon so he walked straight but into the interrogation room to let Zack free.
A few hours later they were back on the streets following a lead for the gun that had shot the police officer. Jay expected the worse. Cold shoulder, complete silence, no eye contact. To his surprise though, Hailey was back on Detective mode. No mention of their….thing….. no mention of her father. But at least she was talking about the case. That was progress.
Jay fought the urge to ask her out of fear of ruining their seemingly brief moment of peace. Was it the calm before the storm? Even after they had found the gun Hailey simply left the district without uttering a word. No 'goodnight', not even an invitation to follow her home.
Jay stayed almost all night at the district, buried in his paperwork. Did he really have to do it? No! He just didn't want to go home. He didn't want to go back to an empty apartment. He didn't want to lay on the bed with his sheets still covered in her scent.
How the hell did he manage to screw this up in record time? What the heck did he do wrong? No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't find the answer. How could he apologize for upsetting her when he had no idea what caused her frustration. Was it his words about good people? He made it perfectly clear that he was not insinuating anything about her relationship with her father.
Was it because he was urging her to visit him? The only reason why he advised her to go see him, was because he had a similar experience with his father. A man who had been emotionally and physically absent his entire life. A man who was incapable of expressing any form of love towards his son. A man whose last words were of despise. Jay could feel a knot forming in his throat just thinking about his dad.
He was gone and all he was left with was a huge 'Why'. Why was it so hard for him to utter those two small sentences he had been dreaming his entire life.
'I am proud of you.'
'I love you'
Jay wasn't a low life loser. He was a soldier and a Detective. He wasn't out there partying and drinking every night. He was serving and protecting. He wasn't a selfish little brat. He had risked his life for others and even taken a bullet in the process. So why? Why was he proud of Will and not him.
Yes, he had seen them that night at the hospital. He had witnessed his emotional father placing his palm on Will's face. He had witnessed the fresh tears in his eyes. He should had been relieved that they had made up, but no. He was embarrassed to admit that jealously flooded his whole body. He had always been a proud man. He was disciplined and never envied anyone. But yes, that exact moment he envied his own brother.
Those memories, those unspoken words haunted his mind for far too long because next thing he knew, it was already 4am. There was no need to go home. The couch in the break room would work just fine. He just had to set the alarm early on to take a shower and change his clothes before anyone would see him.
So, he lay down on the couch. That furniture had hosted him during so many nights that he considered it his second bed. Last night, he was holding Hailey in his arms. Now, he was holding a damn cusion
Thankfully, by the end of the next day the case was closed. The killer was caught, Maria was safe and Hailey seemed to be back to somewhat normal. At least until her phone rang. Upon reading the text from her mom, her face went dark again.
Jay walked Maria out of the break room and came back as soon as he spotted Hailey's reaction.
He stood by the door and casually asked, "All good?"
Hailey quickly hid her phone and shoved it in her back pocket. She sighed and took a second before answering, "Yeah, they moved my dad's surgery to tonight."
Jay took a step forward and reassured her, "I am not gonna tell you what to do…."
Hailey looked into his green eyes, probably for the first time since their fight and cut him off. "I am going to the hospital right now."
Jay couldn't hide his smile as she walked past him and gently placed her hand on his shoulder before walking out. A simple touch, light as a feather but to him, it seemed like an anchor of hope. Especially when she turned around and asked, "I'll see you later?"
Jay simply nodded and just like that, they were back on. Hailey, his Hailey hadn't given up on them. Of course he wanted to pull her for a kiss. Of course he wanted to escort her to the hospital. Of course he didn't want to be away from her for another minute, but he held himself back. All he had to do for the moment, was be there for his partner.
A few hours later, Jay was walking down the familiar corridor of her building. He was worried and nervous. Worried about Hailey's interaction with her father and nervous about the impact it would have on them. Even though it was freezing outside Jay's body temperature was climbing high due to all the stress that was nesting within him. He removed his jacket before even knocking on Hailey's door.
Had she invited him for their casual drink or had she invited him in order to pick up where they left two nights ago? It didn't even matter if it was for sex or simply support towards his partner. All he wanted was be around her. So, he tossed a gum bag in his track with a change of clothes, just in case.
As soon as Hailey answered the door, the first thing that Jay did was to quickly check her eyes. Thankfully they were not red or swollen. That was a good sign. At least she hadn't been crying.
He unconsciously smiled and he was received by a simple "Hey" by his partner.
"Hey," he answered back. His eyes never leaving her petit figure.
"Beer?" she offered walking straight to the kitchen.
"Yeah, sure," he smiled and followed her.
Ok, this was going good. She seemed in a good mood and she hadn't thrown him out. Maybe he was spending the night there after all.
He tossed his jacket on top of hers on the couch and casually asked, "So, how did it go?"
"Humm," she hesitated for a moment as she took out a beer from the fridge and handed it to Jay. "Good, glad I talked to him."
Jay scanned her features and instantly knew that she was lying. It was her eyes. Her blue eyes always betrayed her.
In all honestly, he felt hurt. She looked straight into his eyes and lied without even blinking. Why? He would never accuse or judge her. He made that perfectly clear. He would respect whatever decision she made. Why didn't she trust him?
It wasn't time for all of that now. He knew he had to put his ego aside and play along with her game. Pretend that he believed her. Maybe that was what Hailey needed at that moment. A night away from her father's memory. Away from all the anguish she apparently experienced because of him. Away from fear. All he had to do was let her know that she was safe with him. That was the easiest part, cause as long as he was around, he would never let anyone harm her again.