After the shopping trip in Port Angeles with Angela and Jessica, things between Edward and Bella progressed quickly. She became increasingly engrossed in his life despite the way his displays of strength and anger left her nervous and shaken. He frequently gaslighted her, dismissed any fears or concerns about the stress of their relationship while simultaneously reminding her at every turn how dangerous he was. Bella knew that every night Edward climbed through her window might be her last one alive if he lost control of himself. He thirsted for her blood as much as her heart.
Physically, he discovered how to easily manipulate her as well. His kisses were always somehow sensual yet cold. He remained ever the gentleman despite the struggle of her raging hormones. Her body was coming alive around him, but he treated her like a porcelain doll. Sometimes he would chuckle at her frustration or seem appalled at her boldness, leaving her embarrassed and angry afterward. He attempted to control every aspect of her decision-making and relationships, putting himself into all of her activities and classes. Even her appearance was subject to his scrutiny. There were times when he would pull her hair tie from her ponytail, tuck her curls behind her ears, and lean in to inhale the scent of her shampoo. Edward claimed he liked her hair to be long and free-flowing all the time, helping to keep him enveloped in her scent, claiming it was easier for him to be around her without craving her blood this way. More than once, he ignored her jokes about how her strawberry shampoo smelled better than her blood if it controlled his thirst for her.
While Bella did fall in love with the good she saw in him, Edward's angry and jealous behavior left her often uneasy and shaken. Bella even recognized the dazzling effect he had on her and dismissed it, along with his autocratic tendencies. Bella did not have the experience to know that abuse came with more than black eyes, violence, and the kind of fear she had seen Renee suffer through more than once. Eventually, Edward would deliberately plan things to keep her away from Jacob. His comments about Jacob were often snide and laced with jealousy. It was something that did not go unnoticed by or sit well with Charlie. Her father quickly let his thoughts be known on the matter, leaving Bella feeling guilty regardless of how she spent her time.
While his ability to read minds was often helpful, Bella felt uncomfortable with his habit of manipulating other people by knowing their innermost secrets. She found herself more and more appreciative that Edward could not read her thoughts. She would have never stood a chance at remaining her own person if he could have known half of what was in her head. Being raised in a world of narcissistic abuse from Renee had made Bella putty in his palms. After years of rejection and loneliness, she remained too desperate to be loved to either recognize the red flags or truly consider them when she did.
The burden of knowing what Edward and his family were was a continuous stressor. Edward reminded her often that others could interpret her emotions easily. They did not have secrets from each other in the Cullen family, at least not ones kept from Edward or Alice for very long. Edward would search for the emotions Jasper could feel coming from Bella and use them to direct her attention where he wanted it to be. He convinced Bella that she could accidentally reveal more than she should if she spent too much time with people other than his family. She knew her loved ones were increasingly angry at her behavior. Most assumed it was young first love and that her infatuation had turned to obsession. They were right.
Despite the story you know, the horrific experience with James passed without Renee at Bella's bedside. She knew Bella was in the hospital and visited her the first night. Bella was reluctant to speak to her despite having risked her life to save the mother she both loved and despised, although Edward discouraged her distance. He kept insisting that Renee was regretful of her past behavior. He urged Bella to reconstruct a connection with her mother, to not take her family for granted. However, he didn't have the experience of loathing his mother as Bella loathed Renee. He didn't have the fresh memories of childhood abuse that Bella carried. When he suggested that she should move back in with Renee and Phil so that he couldn't bring any more danger her way, she felt the first fracture of what would later become her shattered heart.
In the months that passed, Emmett and Alice had become her siblings, as they were practically the only people Edward ever left her alone near. Despite that, he teased Bella relentlessly about her beloved truck and clumsiness. Emmett and Esme were both unfailingly kind and blindly accepted people for who they were, greeting everyone with love. Bella often found herself wishing Emmett and Jake could be friends.
Alice regularly bought her clothing, makeup, and shoes despite Bella's attempts to stop her. While she was more than grateful for Alice's kindness, it was never in Bella's nature to blow money unnecessarily unless it was on groceries. While that had once been her habit with Renee to feed herself, it was now making sure that Billy and Jake had food that fueled her. Alice accompanied Bella on many grocery trips and even insisted on paying for them on occasion. Bella knew that this extreme generosity was part of Alice's particular gifts, and she could not fault her for it. Allowing her to swipe her credit card to take care of things Bella needed would instantly brighten Alice's mood, and she would practically float with glee. Knowing Jake and Billy had food in the house was enough to make Bella happy. After all, the Cullens had so much more to spare than she did. Alice insisted that helping Bella care for those she loved was merely loving them by extension. The Cullens benefitted from this as well since they had to buy groceries to keep up appearances. Esme was thrilled to help as well, often secretly stocking the house with groceries while Charlie was at work and Bella at school.
While everyone else in the Cullen family embraced Bella with love and camaraderie, Rosalie remained distant. She did not support the relationship between Bella and Edward and made it clear at every opportunity. It left Bella often confused, anxious, and wondering if there were other reasons beyond the fact that Bella's human presence endangered them all. Bella finally assumed it had to be her easy friendship with Emmett that fueled her disapproval. When she learned that Rosalie harbored jealousy toward her, Bella was surprised, and knowing that Bella knew only annoyed Rose more. Eventually, she began to avoid being around Bella altogether whenever possible.
Her first and very intense relationship was not something Charlie was dealing with well. He made it clear after her injuries in Phoenix that he was suspicious of an abusive relationship. Carlisle often managed Bella's injuries at home, which only furthered that suspicion. Edward's superhuman strength and Bella's easily bruising pale skin left her constantly covering something. Charlie tried at every opportunity to get Bella to spend less time with the Cullens and more with other friends, like Jacob. How could she tell Charlie that Jacob was the last person on earth she could be around frequently now that Edward was in her life? It was bad enough that she knew she was endangering Charlie. The thought of bringing danger to her Jacob made her feel sick. It was safer to keep him in the dark, especially with half of the Tribe suspecting what the Cullens were.
Billy was more than aware of how Bella was spending time. He tried on multiple occasions to get her to see reason. Charlie caught them arguing over it on the phone once. Bella's tone had earned her a speech from Charlie, though neither would tell him why they were arguing. Billy flat out told Charlie not to worry about it, that he and Bella just had a little difference of opinion. After all, Billy had already told Charlie numerous times what the Cullens were, and Charlie had always refused to believe it. In the end, Charlie assumed Billy had jumped Bella's ass for neglecting Jacob and said he would have been within the right to do so. Despite any curiosity, doubt, or suspicions that Charlie had, he didn't push, and he didn't hover. Those were, indeed, her favorite things about her father. He did threaten injury and prison time should Edward step out of line - but he didn't hover.
Finally, September rolled around, and with it came the calamitous eighteenth birthday party. Charlie was infuriated when Bella came home bearing stitches and another lame story about her clumsiness. It wasn't like she could explain that Edward had accidentally launched her across the room to save her from Jasper. Charlie would have been out for blood if he'd known.
She had spent the entire summer in fearful but infatuated silence, clinging desperately to the first love she'd ever known, despite all the toxic impacts on her mental and physical health. Before Edward, Bella had never known that love could be so all-consuming. It was no wonder that when her narcissistic, manipulative boyfriend decided to gather his entire family and leave her behind, she lost a little of her mind along with the eternity she had already set her heart on having.
For two months, Bella was practically catatonic with despair. She threw herself into her set routine, making her school, work, and cooking obligations her main focus. All of her friends from school had long since stopped calling or coming by to check on her. Bella sat with them at lunch still, though none but Mike and Angela attempted to converse with her anymore. She had continued cooking for Billy and Jake but had not gone to see them in months. Charlie usually dropped the items off and would bring back an armload of dishes for her to send with the next round. Despite staying busy, there was no spark left in her. Charlie was at a loss on how to comfort her, seeing as how he had never really moved on after Renee had left. He moped around the house almost as much as she did with worry.
Nightmares about James, Edward leaving her in the woods, and Bella's ill-fated birthday mingled with others in which she was living with Renee. It was a fear she had not been able to let go of ever since Edward had suggested that she move home. Phil would call to check on her from time to time, sending flowers and spending money to blow guilt-free. While she always thanked him for his generosity and his concern was endearing, it also increased her anxiety that she may someday have to go back to Phoenix.
Since her hospital stay, Renee had more or less given up her attempts at a relationship. As far as Bella was concerned, it was the best gift she could give her. Renee had seventeen years to be a loving mother. Bella refused to believe that she would honestly try now and suspected her previous attempts had always transpired after being urged by Phil. His continued contact with Bella without input from Renee only solidified that suspicion in her mind.
Bella harbored a great deal of anger at Edward. She began to believe he had stayed with her out of guilt, and she had disregarded his trying to rid himself of her long before the move. She also believed him when he said he never loved her, and the memory of him leaving her in the woods infested her thoughts every day whether she dreamed of it or not.
Finally, Charlie was the person to snap Bella back to life. He threatened the one thing she feared most of all - to send Bella to Renee and Phil. She could now only sum up her response to that suggestion as what Charlie later referred to as "losing her shit". She was sure that in his rational thoughts, Bella was delivering a Renee-sized tantrum. Charlie assumed her refusal to leave Forks was entirely over her hope that the Cullens would come back. She was broken inside, without a doubt, but she would never go back to living with Renee. Bella said as much to Charlie, threatening to locate her own place to live. The idea of Bella taking off without knowing where she would go stopped Charlie cold. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her head against his chest. She surprised him as she clutched onto him and cried.
"Please don't do that, Bells," he said, and his voice broke. "Please don't take off and not tell me where you are. I don't want you to go, baby. I just don't know what else to do anymore."
"Just do this, okay?" she asked him and clutched him tighter. "Just be here. Hug me sometimes, and give me time. I need time more than I've ever needed Renee."
"She's your mom, Bells."
"No, Dad. She isn't. She gave birth to me, blew your child support checks on booze, and put up with my existence hindering her party for seventeen years. That doesn't make her my mom. Esme was more of a mother to me than Renee has ever been. I won't go back to cleaning up puke and her drunk boyfriends waking me up in the middle of the night, Dad. I won't." It was more than Bella had admitted to him about Renee, ever, and it was the last explanation she was going to give. Charlie never made another suggestion about Renee, although Bella knew he still talked to her on the phone sometimes. He was welcome to tell Renee whatever he wanted. Bella was legally an adult, and Renee's opinions no longer mattered to her.
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