Gumi would like to think she'd make it out of this alright. She survived the initial backlash of the song, the newfound hounding from reporters and scrutiny over every single event in her career. One more thing shouldn't hurt or damn her for eternity. The concert was proving to be a beast of its own, however.
The thunderous applause below and crackling from the TV all melded to one in Gumi's ears. Probably not a good thing, since their debut hinged on her being able to sing in tune and dance to the beat. Their executives decided to put it at the end of one of Crypton's concerts, at the encore. One by one, the Crypton crew headed down to the stage to perform for the waiting crowds, leaving Gumi and IA back up in the dressing room.
Gumi resisted the urge to scratch at her face like a cat. The makeup stuck to her skin, far too heavy than she was used to. Catching sight of herself in the mirror, the harsh blush and stark colours looked all the more garish and out of place on her. Gumi sighed and leaned back in her chair.
Her head tilted back, eyeing the performances in real time on the large TV above, Gumi's anxiety spiked when she realized how much of tonight's set was left. It was Miku's turn to perform again. The Crypton crew alternated between themselves so they could sneak in a break every now and then. They still didn't have the luxury of staying in their dressing room like Gumi and IA did though. All they had were quick draughts of water, and a couple of minutes to catch their breath. A full two hours of non-stop entertainment was what was expected of them, after all.
Having none of those restraints, Gumi and IA technically could have disappeared down there and enjoy the performance like any other fangirl, though the stern glare from her makeup artist already had Gumi thinking twice. But Rin waiting in the wings and Gackupo being down at the front were presenting good arguments for why she should. Gumi licked her lips, then grimaced at the taste of lipstick. How did those three cope with it all the time?
IA's eyes were glued to the TV screen. Gumi could imagine her ears perking up, adoring Miku's voice pouring forth from the speakers. And Gumi couldn't blame her. Miku was mesmerizing. They all were, actually. Perfection. Each note hit with point blank precision, each smile and wave showcasing their crafted personalities. Miku switched from one genre to the next in her set with ease, a nonstop stream of pure euphoria for anyone who simply enjoyed music. Gumi really did wonder how much power those vocal chords of hers actually held.
A pause in the music came.
Miku beamed and chatted with the crowd as the backstage crew rolled out a keyboard. A performance never should remain in stasis.
Then, Hatsune Miku, leading idol of Japan and possibly the world, sat down to play a ballad. A single spotlight shone on her. Miku's fingers danced over the keys. For the first few bars, only the piano reverberated in the room. Gumi recognized it instantly. Despite her ever-growing anxiety, her sheer anticipation of the song washed it away, pushed it to the back of her mind. Miku looked up at the crowd, her teal eyes bright but melancholy. Her voice seeped in, joining with the music. Though marred by the pixels on the screen, Miku's expression, sullen and soft all at once, practically had Gumi's heart in her grip.
That was Miku's power as a performer. Insane, unmatched talent that lit the stage up. Those teal eyes locked Gumi into place, demanding her undivided attention. At this, the image of a petulant princess came to mind; a faint smile came to Gumi's lips. Everyone would be far too willing to oblige.
Miku was already at the chorus. Gumi barely noticed.
Only when Miku's voice subsided, her fingers a gentle caress on the piano, did reality break the spell again.
With the song over, the clamour in Gumi's head resurged with a vengeance.
Gumi truly did envy them – Miku in particular. Miku captured everyone's attention. Even though it was far from effortless, Gumi personally witnessing it herself, she still wanted it. A fragment of lingering jealousy remained, a fact she was none too proud to admit. Admiration, jealousy, anxiety and a desperate want to prove herself swirled in a nauseating cocktail.
Her nerves clawed at her throat, threatening to shut it up. Gumi groaned. She reached for her water bottle. Water wouldn't hurt, right? It'd only smudge the lipstick – besides, wasn't it meant to be smudged?
IA let out a soft dreamy sigh, "That was amazing."
Her bright sky blue eyes shifted from the screen, finding Gumi with a grin.
"Miku was so perfect. It's so rare that she gets to do songs like these but when she does…I can't even!"
IA went on with vigour. Her water forgotten, Gumi couldn't help but smile at the younger girl, even as a pang went through her once more. Miku was a beacon for all these new artists, set the standard for all future performers, almost reforming the industry from her mere presence. It could have just as easily been her. But all was set in stone now and Gumi could only stitch up the haphazard scraps of her future together. Until now. Fate had thrown her a bone. Gumi would be damned if she didn't take it.
"Gumi?" IA sounded sheepish, "Was I rambling again?"
"Yeah," Gumi chuckled, "Never took you for a Miku fangirl."
IA blushed, fidgeting in her seat.
"I should be focusing on our performance, shouldn't I?"
Gumi shrugged good-naturedly, "Hey, don't ask me. First time doing this over here. Geek out over Miku all you want."
A grin came to Gumi's lips, "I won't tell."
IA's blush darkened, her mouth gaping open and closed. After a long pause, IA squeaked out, "Thank you."
"No need for that. I'm pretty sure Miku would love to hear it, though."
"Would she?"
A thin veil of seniority, admiration forced a gap between IA and them; a similar one blanketed Gumi by way of fame and success. Gumi didn't hold it against them, especially not Rin. But those three wouldn't – couldn't understand. A topic too hard to breach, Gumi kept it from everyone she knew. If she couldn't help herself, she could at least put IA's worries to rest.
"Yeah, ask for an autograph, meet-and-greet, whatever. Miku would be all too happy to comply."
IA beamed with her words.
Gumi swallowed a much-needed gulp of water.
"Gumi?"
"Hm?"
"Do you think tonight is going to go over well?"
Gumi paused, eventually settling with, "It's Miku. Nobody would dare go too hard on her. Luka…well, you know Luka…it'll work out fine."
IA played with the ever present bunny hanging from her bag.
"What about…" IA clammed up, shifting around a bit more.
"IA?"
Gumi truly paid attention to the younger girl. Her green eyes searched her sky blue. IA flexed her fingers, drummed the handrest of the chair.
"I really admire Miku. I…want to have a career like hers."
IA flinched when it came out.
"It's not that I want to take her place! I can't even imagine to be as talented as she is…"
Gumi cut IA off, "Heck, I'm pretty sure that's everyone in the industry by this point. Who doesn't want to be like Miku? I know I do, at least."
IA released a long sigh of relief. Her shoulders sagged. Their eyes met again.
"Isn't it…weird?"
"I mean, hearing that from a friend would be kinda awkward but it's Miku. She'd get it."
IA hung her head. Her voice lowered, wavered. Gumi wondered if she should reach out, pat her on the back or something. The younger girl was so genuinely distressed about this, it didn't feel right to let her be. But Gumi wasn't Luka: she had enough baggage herself and she didn't know the first thing about consoling her juniors. Before Gumi could make a move, IA continued.
"Then…would I seem ungrateful if I said I didn't want this, not entirely?"
IA got it all out in a single breath, "I'm grateful for the opportunity, the boost in people listening to my music, the new influx of coverage, even the concert tonight. But I wonder if that's the only song people know me by, or care about."
A single pause as IA struggled with her words again.
"It'll be my first live since starting my career. Well, I'm just part of the encore but still…it's the biggest event I've ever been a part of. Not to mention it's with Miku. But it's with that song. If that's all people pay attention to, all people see me as...I don't want it."
"Oh."
What else could Gumi say to that? This was something she waited so long for, that she'd give anything for; she didn't have the luxury to choose. She wasn't IA, with a whole career ahead of her. Gumi was pinned in on a single narrow path, the road beyond surely and steadily crumbling to dust, with no branch in sight. A new route cut through the swaths of her fading career. This was her lifeline.
"It'll be mine too – my first official performance I mean," Gumi quietly admitted. She hoped she kept the bitterness out of her voice.
"Oh! I didn't mean anything by that! I'm sorry! I'm just stressed…I'm rambling again, aren't I?"
IA, red-faced, only managed a 'I'm sorry' at the end.
They sunk into an awkward silence. Lights fixed around the mirror radiated heat, bathing Gumi in an uncomfortable warmth. Her throat felt like sandpaper. Gumi downed her water again. This topic barely even came up with Rin – why did she even spill this to IA of all people? With Miku and Luka, she had at least worked with them before.
Should she say something? Would she just make things worse?
"I'm still going to do my best! And – I'm sure you will too!"
IA's voice wavered but there was no denying her sincerity. Gumi let out a long sigh, catching her out of the corner of her eye in the mirror. Her sky blue eyes were determined, the smile on her lips slightly forced in an effort to show there was no bad blood between them.
"I know it's not my place to judge! I shouldn't even have said that in the first place!"
The words came from Gumi before she could think, "Don't – don't say that."
That reminded her of the way she began in the industry. Inferior to the Cryptons from the get-go, those thoughts were present as she tip-toed around them. Of course, Gumi knew she didn't have to now but there were still inklings of that.
"We're coworkers. Equals, IA. It's cool. We're just…different."
Heat crept up her neck.
"And um," Gumi added quietly, "thanks."
Their eyes met in the mirror. IA's smile widened. Gumi sighed to herself. Might as well look at her face to face then. Gumi swiveled around in her chair so that IA didn't have to look at her back anymore. IA was practically glowing. Gumi's lip twitched. IA was too sweet for her own good.
Whatever happened tonight, Gumi didn't regret working with these people.
Their endless stasis shattered when Rin slammed open their dressing room door, cheering, "We're back!"
Her cheeks were flushed from the pure rush of adrenaline, the white bow on her head still bouncing from her hectic run back up here. It was clear Rin enjoyed every second of her time down there, that she wouldn't trade it for anything in the world. Gumi hoped to understand even a bit of that someday.
"That was a good performance!"
"Thank you Gumi bear!"
Rin eyed Gumi up and down, a smile so wide that it should have split her face in two, "You look great! I told you that dress looked good on you!"
"We're basically wearing the same thing."
It was only a half-hearted rebuke from Gumi, who was all too ready to accept such flattery. Rin was definitely more adept in the fashion department, growing up in the public eye like she did. Having Rin of all people compliment her on the way she looked made Gumi's heart flutter in ways she didn't know it could.
Their dresses had the same design, a sleeveless one exposing their shoulders, hugging the waist and flaring out at the skirt which ended at the thighs. It was mainly black, laced with each singer's colour motif(Luka had red, Miku blue, Rin yellow, Gumi green and IA purple). Gumi was fairly sure Rin couldn't even see the entire thing, since she had draped a coat over herself from the cold.
Rin pouted, "You still look good, Gumi bear."
Gumi swore that she would get a heart attack if Rin complimented her one more time.
Luka appeared from behind her, chiding, "We don't have much time, Rin. We have to change now."
"Yeah, yeah Luka."
Rin shot her a knowing grin as she scampered off on Luka's tails. Gumi's cheeks heated up under the makeup. Rin would be the death of her.
The trio were in various stages of completion for their last performance of the night. Rin was fixing her new black and yellow bow on her head and Miku and Luka were touching up their makeup. Miku and Luka worked out a rhythm between themselves, picking out what they needed from the array of products before them and somehow not reaching for the same thing at the same time.
Luka checked herself in the mirror.
"Miku, can I have the lipstick?"
After a moment of silence, Luka turned to her in confusion.
Miku had a…somewhat sly grin on her face, her teal eyes sparkling. Luka, recognizing that particular look on her, had a vague notion of where this was going. That didn't mean she wasn't going to indulge her though.
"Let me do it?"
"I don't see why not."
Miku beamed.
Luka scooted closer to Miku's side, so that they were facing each other. Luka bent down slightly to match Miku's height. Miku tilted her head forward, carefully wielding the instrument in her hand to apply light strokes. Miku felt Luka's soft breath on her cheek, increasingly erratic. Miku smirked.
"All done!"
Miku tilted Luka's chin up, her lips curled in a satisfied smile, and quickly pressed a kiss against Luka's lips.
Luka eagerly met her. The tension of their concerts always resulted in a need for heated exchanges, added to the fact they were always within arm's reach of each other and rarely got the chance to be intimate for the whole night.
Miku's hands travelled along the warm skin of Luka's back, her nails digging just below the exposed skin to pull her closer – she couldn't have those marks show up during their performance, after all. Luka groaned at the contact, her hands caressing Miku's waist. Miku purred, leaving another lingering kiss, almost giving in to the tantalizing opportunity to take this further. Not now. After the performance. Then they'd have all the time in the world together.
Miku eyed Luka up and down again, drinking in the sight of her curves complimented by the dress.
"You're gorgeous."
Luka stroked Miku's teal locks, careful not to disturb her twintails.
"So are you."
A knock came at their door.
"One more minute!"
Miku frowned, pursed her lips. She gently clasped Luka's hands in her own.
"You're ok with this?"
They had this conversation more than a handful of times. Every time, Luka's answer was positive, though the varying degrees of certainty more than worried Miku a bit. Miku pressed the issue once more, for a last chance to back out if she wasn't ready.
Luka pulled a hand out of Miku's grasp, then rested that on top of Miku's.
"I am. Don't worry."
Miku almost reached up, stroked her cheek but the infernal makeup stopped her. Luka smiled, blue eyes twinkling as she recognized her frustration. Miku settled for giving Luka another peck.
"We're done!"
The five of them met up in the hallway, headed down to the stage together. The wings in the stage were lit only by pale yellow lights at the far end to the exit. Shrouded in shadows, the thrum of music reverberating in their body, goosebumps rising along their skin from the A.C., Gumi wished she'd at least brought down her coat or even her goggles. The stagehands bustled about, only speaking in Miku's ears from time to time. Miku nodded, not uttering a single word. Miku's face was a blank mask, a look Gumi recognized as Miku intensely concentrating.
Luka turned her attention to the others, a warm smile present, "Are you ready?"
"Of course!"
Rin pulled Gumi close to her, practically buzzing with excitement. Gumi had an urge to press down on Rin's shoulders just to stop her from bouncing around in pure ecstasy. Her bow flopped up and down. Gumi couldn't help chuckling. Rin really was adorable.
"Are you always this excited before a performance?"
"No," Rin almost looked offended, pouting, "I'm with you this time, silly Gumi bear. You don't see me acting like that with Len, do you?"
Gumi's cheeks flamed up. Geez, was Rin being more forward today or what?
"Cat got your tongue, Gumi bear?"
Rin sidled up to her. She was too close. Her bow was tilted to the side for her bad-girl side, Gumi guessed. Her blonde hair ghosted against her chin, which wasn't as soft as she imagined – it probably was the hair gel. Those blue eyes glowed in the faint light, a bright grin stretching across her face, showing off those cute canines.
Dammit. Gumi was already having a tough time keeping her head screwed on straight already. Rin laughed. Oh, Rin definitely knew what she was doing. That devil.
Somebody introduced them. Oh shit.
Gumi should have practiced at least one more time, made sure she knew all the dance moves, rehearsed her part – Rin took her hand, gave her the tiniest of a squeeze.
Gumi looked down.
Her grin softened, became warmer. Rin winked. So she had intentionally distracted her back there. Knowing Rin, she probably did that to get rid of Gumi's nerves, which had been plaguing her for the better part of the week.
"Off we go, Gumi bear!"
Looking into the auditorium was like facing a vacuum. The hot stagelights beat down on the five of them, obscuring and swallowing the view in front of them. For a second, it seemed like they were stranded in a random spot in space, no life for miles to come. Then it hit her. The screams, the frantic air, the tiny pinpricks of multicoloured lights in the audience waving up and down. Even if Gumi couldn't actually see them, the presence of the crowd forced itself on her.
Their cries filled the air, reverberated in her lungs. If the opening beats hadn't been blasting through her earphones, Gumi was sure she would have missed it. Heck, Gumi could barely make out her fellow performers, the glare from the spotlight dunking them all in the same glow. Her senses struggled to take it all in. Almost everything was left to muscle memory. No wonder Miku drilled them like there was no tomorrow.
The music grounded her. A steady stream blocking everything out, rooting her back to reality, dictating her every move. Gumi doubted she could have followed any last minute cues, improvised even if she wanted to. Luka's solo, then Miku's, then her own. She couldn't dwell on how different her voice through the mic, echoed in the hall. The group formation turned out to be the most comforting part, since the crowds weren't focused on her and her alone. Though Meiko's words did ring in her ears, that the group only worked as intended when they were coordinated, each move in sync, it was like she had the other girls to fall back on if anything went awry.
Her and Rin's shared part. The stage was theirs. Gumi swore Rin was grinning at her, the expression devoid of any sensuality, only one of pure joy. Gumi smiled stupidly back. It definitely didn't fit the song, not even leaning into the powerful dance. Rin's short bursts of energetic dance were better than hers by a long shot. Gumi could practically hear the complaints of her dragging Rin down. But Gumi didn't mind, not yet anyway. This was hers and Rin's.
Back to the shadows, then it was IA's, Miku's and Luka's turn to shine again. It was already enough though. More than enough. Gumi got her fair share and had it with the people she never thought she could.
Hold the last pose for at least a good couple of seconds. Gumi tried not to wheeze in relief, look like a flopping fish on deck. It had to be effortless. Her lungs were fighting for air. Her muscles burned but were ice cold. She held still. The crowd exploded. Something sparked in her chest, maybe it was the nervous jitters finally resurfacing, maybe she could breathe properly again, or maybe…that's what it felt like to experience firsthand the reactions of their fans.
Luka relaxed first. Miku followed suit, then it was the rest of them. Luka waved out to the crowd. Linking her arm with Luka's, Miku mirrored her partner's movements. The light dimmed, less sharp, less harsh. As Gumi's eyes adjusted, the vacuum gave way to nameless faces yelling their approval. Once the commotion died down, Luka addressed them on their behalf.
"Thank you for coming tonight! I understand this is new to many of our fans but I hope you enjoy it just as much! Let's continue on this journey together!"
Those words simply did not encapsulate what they had gone through. There was so much more that could be said, reduced to those three generic sentences. But, it was easier to just let the crowd be happy and end it at that.
Bathed in applause, they left the stage. Miku wrapped her arms around Luka from behind, lying her head on Luka's bare shoulder. Luka looked down with an affectionate smile, tangling her fingers in Miku's teal locks. Miku complimented cheerily, "Good first time everyone! Especially the MC!"
Miku directed a grin back up at Luka, who rolled her eyes good-naturedly.
"Oh hush, don't act like you haven't done it at the end of every concert."
"But you're doing it this time!" Miku beamed, "I couldn't be more proud!"
A weight at Gumi's side made her realize that Rin somehow slid up behind her without her noticing again. Rin latched onto her, a pleased smile on her lips. Gumi couldn't help chuckling.
"What's up?"
Rin's blue eyes glowed in the dark.
"You were great tonight."
Gumi scratched the back of her neck, "I don't know about that-"
"So great," Rin cut her off, "That you deserve a reward."
Rin pulled her down. The next thing she felt was warm lips against her own. Gumi's green eyes were blown wide, the heat rapidly spreading to her cheeks. The sweet taste was gone before she could totally register it. Gumi didn't even have the chance to babble a response. She was sure her shocked expression was plastered all over her features. Rin grinned, looking all the more pleased with herself.
"Silly Gumi bear."
The girls' shrieks and squeals bombarded her ears.
"Took you two long enough!"
"Finally!"
Gumi lowered her head, meekly took Rin's hand. The only thing circling throughout her mind was the chaste kiss. IA cooed at the sight. Miku was ecstatic for her best friend, all too ready to badger Rin into revealing the details of their relationship. Luka exchanged a glance with Gumi. Thinking of her warning, a shiver went down Gumi's spine. Ushering Miku and IA upstairs, Luka gave her a curt nod. Alright, Gumi would take the gift.
Gumi asked a bit nervously, not quite sure she wouldn't screw this up.
"Can we do it again next time?"
Rin laughed, "'Course, Gumi bear!"
After the five of them got changed back into their regular clothes, a sea of their people was waiting for them. The Crypton six were all present, a rarity for them to be all gathered in the same spot on a busy night like this. Gackupo somehow teleported most of Internet Co's personnel into the building, only leaving the younger children due to the context of the song. Yukari tackled IA in a bear-hug, her younger sister ONE following suit. The white-haired girl almost teared up.
Miku and Luka somehow found their own tiny corner again. IA was surrounded by the Internet Co vocaloids congratulating her, though she of course kept close to Yukari and ONE. Rin was dragging Gumi to where Len was, to tell her brother first and foremost of tonight.
The events, the interviews, the reviews could all come tomorrow. Right now, it was just them.
Author's note: Welp, it's been over a year. What a year that was. I guess writing is an anchor of mine, while nearly everything I knew and love changed drastically. I don't really know if I improved or anything but hey, as long as somebody still likes this piece, I'll continue with it. In this, I thought the girls should have their first 'success', so to speak. And, apologies for the lack of updates. My schedule is more like I write only when I get a break from school. Thank you for reading and feel free to leave any feedback!