Chapter 7: The Flight
"So, how did you sleep?"
McAllen was sitting in the driver's seat. Kazuma had half-expected there to be a chauffeur. So they could talk without anyone else hearing them.
"Fine."
Both Kazuma and Megumin had the same response. McAllen started to drive.
"So… looking forward to being your girlfriend's secretary?"
"How much paperwork is she going to be dealing with anyway? Also where are we going to be operating out of?"
"The base itself is in New Jersey, but her office is located in an underground facility in Staten Island. As the world's leading expert on explosion magic, Megumin is going to be leading Project Excalibur…"
"Mwahaha… ha… ha…"
Both Kazuma and Megumin keeled over from laughing so hard. A prank involving Megumin, a deceased Kazuma, and a marker came to mind.
"Should we change the name? We have many other…"
"No, the current name is perfect. Don't you agree, Kazuma?"
"Please continue, McAllen."
"Right… since Megumin will be leading the project, you'll be dealing with funding requests, reports, etc. Thankfully, since the whole operation is classified you won't have to do any PR."
"Heh heh heh…"
Megumin seemed to be looking forward to Kazuma working for her.
"You can delegate anything that doesn't require Megumin's attention to other people, but you'll have to deal with the rest by yourself."
"Okay. Oh, before I forget, Megumin has something important to clear up."
"My… interest… in explosions is entirely platonic, got it?!"
"Look, I honestly got confused too, but she isn't lying about this."
"I hope you can forgive me."
"Hmph."
"Well, here we are."
After showing his card to the guard in the toll booth, the gate opened. McAllen drove into the base and up to one of the runways, where Kazuma could see a large jetliner parked. They got out of the car, and one of the staff started loading their bags onto the plane. They climbed up the stairs up to the plane door and stepped inside.
Kazuma had only ever been on commercial flights, so the more open configuration of the plane's interior caught him by surprise. Megumin, of course, had never been on an airplane.
"Who invented the airplane, Kazuma?"
He seriously needed to teach this girl how to read, so she could stop using him as her personal search engine. But for now, he'd entertain her questions.
"The first airplane was built by Orville and Wilbur Wright in 1903, and first tested in Kitty Hawk, North Carolina, USA. Planes operate by using an engine to accelerate the plane, and using the flow of air over the wings to produce a lifting force which keeps the plane airborne."
Speaking of the devil, the plane had taxied to the end of the runway and had begun to take off. It was just the three of them onboard, along with the pilots. They quickly fastened their seat belts. After the takeoff was finished and Megumin had unglued her face from the window, she turned towards Kazuma.
"Hey, Kazuma… how do you know all this stuff? Not to be rude, but weren't you a shut-in in your previous life?"
Oh, right. He'd never really explained that, huh. Having been a NEET and all, of course Megumin would be surprised by him knowing so much about things other than video games and anime.
"McAllen, can you get our breakfast? I'll explain as we eat."
It would take a while, and he was hungry. McAllen got up, and brought over a platter with pancakes, bacon, and syrup, as well as plates and glasses for the three of them. There were a few tables dotting the interior of the plane, and McAllen set their breakfast down at the nearest one. Kazuma and Megumin moved to the table, and McAllen got up again to get water.
"Mmmm… Kazuma, these are really good!"
Megumin was very pleased with her pancakes. Kazuma shared her enthusiasm.
"Mmmm… and the bacon's great, too!"
They'd had bacon before in Belzerg, but it was still quite tasty. Kazuma started to explain.
"So, Megumin. Remember when I said that math was always my favorite in school?"
"Yeah, I remember you saying that. Were there any other classes you liked?"
"Just a few. But one of them was history. I had a great teacher in 7th grade, and one week he assigned us each a country to read up on. We then had to give a summary of the country's history in class the next week. You can imagine the look on my face when I got the United States."
"Happy that you got to study such an interesting country?"
"Actually, I was mad because I thought I was getting screwed over. The US is huge! There's so much to read about it, it's hard to know where to start. So when I got home, I did the normal thing: I complained about it to my dad. Why was I getting assigned this massive country when some other kid only had to do Switzerland? How was that fair?"
"Fairness, huh? Do you really care about fairness? Or did you just not want to do the work?"
"Are you questioning my commitment to equality? I'll have you know…"
"As a matter of fact, I am. You don't care about true gender equality, it's just an excuse you use for sexual harassment."
Oh, two could play at that game...
"You think you're so innocent? What about the bath incident? You were the one who pulled off my towel! And you even told Yunyun about it, in public! And who was the one sneaking a peek at the 'holy sword Excalibur' while I was too dead to consent?!"
"I really should rename the project…"
Megumin, though, quickly shot down the suggestion with a firm shake of her head. While Kazuma was giving her a hard time about it now, it was actually a fond memory for him, so he didn't really mind keeping the name. That being said, he was glad McAllen had interrupted their little argument because he wanted to finish his story.
"Anyway… so I complain about it to my dad. And you know what the bastard does? Instead of commiserating with his son, he starts talking to me about the assignment. I tried to get him to stop, but I eventually had to give in. And the way he got me to care about the assignment was to try and make it interesting. He went over all the cool battles in the Revolutionary War, and before long I was totally invested in the story. Just like a really great anime with a slow start. You just have to get past the slow part."
"Of course you compared it to anime. Such an otaku."
"Hey! Did Aqua teach you that word?!"
"No, it was actually your father. Speaking of…"
"Right. So after my dad helped me get motivated, I ended up really loving my history class. And that wasn't the only time we talked about history. After doing it for a few assignments, we started having our talks even when I didn't have anything due. He got me to realize that history could be really interesting, but only if I put in the work to understand it. So for a few months after that, we kept talking about history. At some point, he started buying history books for us to go over together when he ran out of material."
"Wasn't 7th grade... around the time you became a NEET?"
"Yeah… we were still having our talks the week before it happened. I was really depressed for the first month. I barely talked to my parents the whole time. That month was probably the worst I've ever had. But you know what my dad does after seeing his son go through that? He comes in with a history book. He didn't try to fix me; he didn't try to get me to go back to school, not yet. He just wanted to bring back our father-son history talks. So I wasn't as depressed after that. I was still a NEET and a huge disappointment, but I had something to look forward to in the real world."
Megumin had a sad look on her face as he said that. See, this is why he didn't open up about this stuff. He didn't want people to pity him, especially not Megumin. He continued his explanation.
"We started talking about politics too at some point, and in the year before I died I was actually looking things up on my own. Lots of military history, of course: I still went for the flashy stuff. Science history too, I always found that interesting. It wasn't even just history. I was just looking things up for the sake of it. I might have actually returned to school at some point, and done pretty well, if I hadn't, well…"
Megumin turned to look at him. She started speaking before he could finish that depressing thought.
"Kazuma… Thanks for telling me all this. It can't be easy talking about your NEET days. But at least something good came out of it."
"Your story was very touching, Kazuma, but these pancakes are getting cold."
They quickly rushed to finish the pancakes. After they'd eaten their fill, they moved over back into their seats. Megumin turned towards him.
"So, Kazuma… How many other impressive things have happened in the US in the last century other than airplanes and nuclear weapons?"
Her obsession with explosions could be downright terrifying at times. Were nuclear weapons really a member of the "cool inventions" club along with airplanes? Anyway... Apparently her conclusion from his story was that she should ask him more trivia. It wasn't a wrong conclusion to come to, but it was a bit annoying. A lot had happened in the US in the last 100 years, and it would take a while to explain.
"Do you want to spend the whole flight talking about this?"
But McAllen saying it rubbed him the wrong way. He couldn't just let this guy brag about his country for hours on end.
"Hey, shut it, Mr. USA! Japan has impressive things, too! How about this? We'll each list things our country has achieved, and try to one-up each other."
"Okay, you start."
"Anime."
"Hollywood."
"Nintendo."
"Baseball."
"Sushi."
"Moon landing."
"Crimson Demons."
Well that went from 0 to 100 real quick. Kazuma had to come up with something, so he just pandered to Megumin, who was effectively judging the competition.
"The Crimson Demon Clan, genetically engineered to push the limits of magic! Created by the Japanese! An excellent choice, if I do say so myself, Kazuma."
Heh. She fell for it hook, line, and sinker. But then her expression changed completely. Crap.
"Wait… moon landing? People have landed on the moon? Kazuma, why didn't you mention this?"
"Uh, I forgot?"
It was true. He was so busy explaining what the Cold War was that he'd forgotten to go over the moon landings. McAllen then proceeded to spend the next several hours explaining the moon landings in detail. Kazuma should've seen this coming. Megumin was a huge alchemy nerd back in Belzerg, so of course modern science would appeal to her. And the moon landings being one of the greatest achievements of modern science meant that she wanted every little detail. Kazuma liked NASA, sure, but McAllen was a real fan. So he was happy to let McAllen handle this.
Kazuma was asleep for much of it, but Megumin woke him up a few times, often intentionally, when she found a detail particularly exciting. It always had something to do with explosions.
"The range safety officer's job was to destroy the rocket, using explosives, if it veered off course."
"So even the safety measures used explosions? Incredible!"
…
"Using the power of explosions to escape the bonds of gravity! How genius!"
…
"And using multiple stages of explosion, to maximize their potential output... What mathematical elegance!"
…
"Using explosions to turn the spacecraft? Astounding!"
...
"And to think that they even left a seismometer on the surface, to listen for explosions! I can truly call each and every person who worked on this program an honorary Crimson Demon."
Kazuma yawned loudly.
"What would I have to do to be an honorary Crimson Demon?"
"Make me a rocket that uses explosion magic. Then we'll talk."
"Do I look like a space agency to you?"
"Are you admitting defeat, Kazuma?"
"No, because your conditions are insane. Where am I supposed to get the resources to do that?"
"Kazuma, in a few hours I'll be leading a group of highly talented scientists and engineers working on pushing the frontiers of explosion magic. If we could find a way to store explosion magic…"
"Like that magic rifle from the Crimson Demon Village…"
"...we would have something far more energy dense than ordinary rocket fuel. Rockets based on this new fuel could probably reach the outer planets in mere months."
"But Megumin, you're the only person on Earth who can even produce explosion magic. Are you planning on becoming a walking fuel depot?"
"Uh… Kazuma?"
She pulls out his adventurer's card to remind him that he did, in fact, know Explosion as well.
"Did you forget about setting out on the path of explosions?"
Crap. She probably perceived this as a sleight against explosion magic. Why else wouldn't he remember his own skills, unless he thought Explosion was a joke spell?
"Megumin… I know what you're thinking right now. Yes, Explosion is a joke spell, but… you've taken it way beyond the joke tier. Your explosions are genuinely terrifying: they're so big that they actually make strategic sense to use. What's the point of even trying to compete with that?"
Megumin first looked upset that he had insulted Explosion, but then softened her expression when he praised her spell's immense power. She still had a retort coming his way, though.
"But you did use it to defeat the Demon King…"
McAllen was anxiously checking the time when he decided to speak.
"If you two are done... This flight is 16 hours long, and we're about halfway through. It'll be around noon in New York when we arrive, so get some rest."
Megumin looked confused, but then McAllen pulled out a globe and showed her the flight path. They were currently over Alaska. A "eureka!" expression came onto her face. Wait a minute, Kazuma thought. Had she figured out time zones that quickly?
"So since our flight is 16 hours, New York is 11 hours ahead, and we cross the date line… the local time will have only changed 3 hours."
Of course she had. Why was he even surprised? Maybe McAllen's decision to have her run a military research project wasn't that crazy after all. He turned to her.
"Megumin… please listen to McAllen and try to sleep."
Megumin didn't seem that interested in sleeping at the moment.
"There are four bedrooms in the back of the plane. So if you'd like a room to yourself…"
"There's no need."
Megumin's opinion on sleeping had apparently changed quite quickly. She started to drag Kazuma out of his seat. McAllen looked at Kazuma and winked, then whispered in his ear.
"Y'know… the mile-high club is always accepting new…"
"Shut it!"
Kazuma surrendered to Megumin to escape McAllen. They finally arrived at their room, and Megumin smirked at Kazuma as she hopped onto the bed.
"I think I have some idea what McAllen was saying back there…"
Her gaze shifted to the nightstand, and Kazuma turned to look as well. He saw an assortment of condoms laid out. Megumin's eyes glowed brightly.
"Why not, Kazuma… we have all the protection we need right here."
What the hell? Was the Air Force run by perverts?! Weren't these beds meant for high ranking officials? Were military elites really that horny?
It's not like they'd get caught: McAllen clearly wasn't interested in reporting anything. And the watchful eyes of FBI-kun were far, far away. The pilots had quarters in the front, so they were in the clear.
But why, then, was he so apprehensive? It's not like he didn't want this. He did. It was his insecurity, his fear that was holding him, that was holding them back. He closed his eyes, breathed in deeply, and tried to compose himself. He slowly opened his eyes.
"Megumin… it's not that I don't want this, because I do. And it's not your fault… Megumin, do you remember when my dad mentioned that girl on the motorcycle?"
"Your first love…"
Kazuma felt his eyes water. He was starting to cry, but he tried to hold it back.
"I know this sounds stupid… but she's the reason I became a NEET. Finding out that she didn't love me… it crushed me. I turned into a NEET because I thought no one could love me… and…"
"Kazuma…"
Megumin looked sad, sad that the man she loved had been so broken, for so long.
"And I gave up on trying to love myself… Megumin, I didn't want to cross that line… because… because I didn't want things to change, because every step we take forward in our relationship… is a step where I could lose you. Megumin, I'm scared. Scared that you'll leave me and that I'll go back to the way I was, unloved, alone…"
"Kazuma, I'm not going to leave you. That's why I came to this world, to stay by your side. And I've been scared too, Kazuma. Scared that you'd leave me for Darkness, or Iris, or Eris… But you never did, Kazuma. You rejected Darkness, even though she's your type. And despite the prospect of becoming a noble, and how much you care about Iris, you turned down her proposal and caused a political incident. Maybe there are girls too young for you."
"Oi! Are you calling me a lolicon?! You know what that makes you?!"
"And I know about your crush on Eris. She's a goddess: I get it. But even though you knew Chris' real identity, you never acted on it. Even though Eris has a bit of a crush on you herself."
Kazuma blushed slightly. He knew that Eris blessed him with absurdly high luck for less than pure reasons, and he'd always had a thing for the goddess. But he knew deep down that it was just a fantasy, for both of them, and that it wasn't love.
"Kazuma… it's normal to worry about these things… but we have to put our fears behind us to move forward. What do you say?"
Kazuma could still feel those fears creeping up, threatening to pull him back down. But he decided to ignore them and to take a chance, a leap into the unknown.
"How about we check out that mile-high club after all?"