DISCLAIMER: I own nothing from the Naruto universe but I do have an imagination of my own. If you'd like to suggest anything, including pairings, please just let me know!

Thinking

Emphasis

Biju, etc. speaking

Biju, etc. thinking

"The boy" will be revealed in the next chapter!

Loads of angst here. Sorry. (Not sorry!)

I'm not Rachel. Rachel's dead. I shouldn't even remember myself. Her, I mean.

Ru/the former Rachel/Na-RU-to was having an existential crisis that had continued all night. Unable to sleep with the knowledge that she'd finally gained after apparently being a naive fool, she once again began to grieve. She desperately missed her - no, Rachel's family, the faces that she could no longer even identify, and was unknowingly torturing herself. She even felt a renewed longing for stupid, relatively inconsequential things like missing her cell phone and laptop... It was all overwhelming. Sure, she had mourned at different times throughout this entire lifetime, but for some odd reason, she just couldn't let go of her old life - hadn't even thought of doing so. No, it is not mine; that was Rachel's life.

She spent a few hours debating with herself - as Rachel and Ru - whether or not Rachel's life was just a dream or symptom of some kind of psychosis. Honestly, she couldn't be sure, but whether or not Rachel had been real, her feelings for those she remembered cherishing were definitely genuine. It wasn't until the middle of the following day that she began to sketch some faces she remembered so well. Her dad - no, Rachel's dad and mom. Her brother and his son: God, I don't know which one is Sean and which one was named Evan!

She hated herself for it.

In the end, I guess it doesn't matter who I was before - to who I am now...

Moon came into the room to bring her soup and noticed her silently crying. "What's wrong Ru-chan? This isn't like you. Did Beast do something to hurt your feelings?"

Ru shook her head sadly. Gai-san hadn't done anything out of the ordinary or even come into her room. He was always noisy, but at least he'd let her be when she wanted privacy. For the most part. She looked up and noticed Moon's eyes glaring through her mask.

"Was it the new kid? What did Raven-san do to you, Ru?" Yugao tried to sound soothing but felt her temper rising at considering Shisui of the Fucking Body Flicker doing something untoward to her honorary little sister. She'd heard about their little "incident" when she and Hayate accompanied the Hokage here.

Rachel - no, Ru wiped her eyes. "Nothing! No really, I promise." The last thing she wanted was to get some teen in trouble when all he did was remind her of who she really was, where she was... How can I explain this? "He had a red-eye, Moon-san. It was weird, but kinda familiar somehow? Gomen, I don't mean to be offensive about his eye color or anything. I guess I was just... surprised that an eye can change from almost black to red. I think it spun around, too."

"Was he looking directly at you?"

"Uhh, no? No, I remember now. He wasn't. I think he was just staring at the wall or window." That was odd, too, Ru thought.

Familiar, huh? That could be dangerous. She had seen the Kyuubi's Sharingan eyes the night of the attack and prayed that the little princess did not ever recall it. What a silly thought: she was just a newborn! Perhaps she'd look at the roster that guarded the jinchuuriki to see if an Uchiha had been a part of it before this. C'mon, Yugao: she could've even seen the Sharingan when she was in the village. Just to make sure, she decided to check out not only Naruto's former guard but also look up all of Ru's previous known attackers. It would take a while, but Ibiki owed her a favor.

Behind her mask, Yugao bit down on and worked her bottom lip. "Alright then. Let me just check something." She put her hands on Ru's shoulders and channeled chakra into the young girl, attempting to break a genjutsu on the blonde. Ru shouted and jumped away before swearing. Although she was relieved at the girl's comical reaction, she realized that she needed to have another long talk with Anko-chan. The Yondaime and Kushina-sensei's daughter was getting way too creative in her cursing. "Gomen, gomen, Ru-chan! I was just trying to see if you were under a genjutsu."

Ru laid back into her bed, now even more awake and shaky. She tried to act normally in front of Moon-san, but it was difficult or maybe even impossible. "I don't really understand genjutsu. I've read about it and have tried threading my chakra into strings, but nothing ever happens."

Your mother had trouble with them, too. Yugao cleared her throat; she didn't need to get sentimental now. "Hmm. You know that you have large chakra reserves, Ru-chan. I think it's quite admirable and even inspiring how much control you have over your chakra, dear. Particularly at your age." She was pleased with seeing Ru's cheeks flush at the honest compliment and tapped the girl's nose with her finger. "Genjutsu is a shinobi art that can be difficult, but you have many years to learn, imouto. Konoha wasn't built in a day." For some reason that made the little blonde snort. "C'mon now. Eat your soup and get some sleep. I don't want you to get sick."

The kind purple-haired woman - the one who wore it down and long - was feeling her forehead. Ru smiled up at her, greatly appreciating that she really did have people that cared for her here in this life, in this strange world, and snuggled back into her comforter. As soon as the door was closed and she was alone again, though, her thoughts began to churn.

It had been two days since Uchiha Itachi had done something to him and his little friends, and now the boy was pretty sure he was being tailed.

He wasn't a sensor, at least not that he knew of, but he did feel a shift in the air once out of his clan compound. Having been dragged off to another playground again, this time by his mother who felt that he needed "fresh air and friends to get out of your doldrums," he sat down on the cool grass and noticed a young blonde boy approaching him from the corner of his eye. Before he got a good look directly at him, his heart stirred.

How many times had he searched the village's streets and forests for a peek at THE Uzumaki Naruto? He wanted to befriend him, remembering the pain the boy was in throughout so much of the life he'd seen in the anime. It wasn't fair. Big mean fox or not, how insane was it to treat a child that gave up and lost so much in such a manner? Seeing a kid as the fox or using him as a weapon: he grunted in annoyance at the mere idea of it.

Maybe he could even help the Uzumaki do better in the Academy. That would give Naruto a boost over where he'd been in canon. Quickly looking into the approaching boy's big green eyes, he was disappointed. No, it's obviously not Naruto.

"Hey. You wanna play?" the blonde boy asked.

"I don't know..." He looked into the taller boy's eyes as they immediately swirled into red and black. He would not be aware of the henged shinobi's jutsu being whispered.

"Kotoamatsukami"

Shisui knew he might have to do this several more times in order to have time to speak with and get the truth out of the kid, but he had no choice. He had to save his family.

Ru was apparently doing things backward. It was nighttime once again now, and she'd just stumbled upon what was supposed to be an earlier stage in the grief process if what she'd read in both lifetimes had been correct: Anger and Bargaining. She knew what was happening, but that didn't stop these traitorous emotions at all!

First off, how the hell was she supposed to know that she was in the Naruto universe or dimension or whatever the fuck it was?! One, she didn't know that there was such a place. Two, she hadn't previously believed in reincarnation. Three, people here didn't look like anime characters! They were fucking real, damn it!

Real strands of hair, real skin with all its imperfections... They were warm and alive and not a fucking anime! How the hell did this happen?

Oh, OH! And SECONDLY, she was a fucking girl - which she appreciated, actually - but she had no damn CLUE about the whole Naruto thing! Who's shitty idea was putting a non-fan into this crappy world?

How she'd eventually fallen asleep, she had no idea, but she couldn't have slept more than a couple of hours in total. It was nighttime again, and although her stomach was growling painfully, the bitterness she felt at being in this situation wouldn't allow her to eat. Not knowing what else to do, Ru pulled out a journal and began writing in English what she could remember of the anime. It required hours of thought to come up with her list. Her nephew's teasing voice as the relevant memories rolled into her mind didn't help her mood any.

God, I miss him! STOP! Just stop and get down to it!

1. Psychotic, creepy redhead, and something about sand
2. Guy with big sword
3. Whisker marks (Mine aren't like that, though. Thank God!)
4. Naruto's obnoxious and the other main guy's a shitty asshole
5. Those red eyes do something really bad
6. Green-covered loud guy constantly reading smut or porn, I think

Wait a minute! Was that Gai? I've never seen that man do anything lewd! Maybe that memory is wrong, or maybe he's just hiding his more private "issues" from her.

7. Frogs
8. Someone was literally called a really bad pervert or something like that often

Why would I remember that as being funny?! At least she'd scolded her brother and his wife for letting her little nephew see that stuff. Better still, she told herself, there was no way that a little boy would understand anything about that subject. Hopefully.

9. Giant orange fox

Ru circled that one with a red marker. She didn't remember very much, but the big fox was something super important and it almost seemed like that visage was in her actual memory, too, which made no sense. Have I seen an oversize fox before? I think I'd remember! It must have been in the anime and it's been in my subconscious all this time. Oh well, the important thing was that the fox was just misunderstood: her nephew had told her that repeatedly, she was sure.

10. A rabbit that was an evil princess

As ludicrous as it sounded, Sean or Evan had gone on and on in dismay about that one. Why it was so important, she couldn't imagine. Going down the rabbit hole indeed. She let out a quick snort at the whole idea of it.

11. Multiple wars and death: just fucking great

"Hey, umm, God? Since I've died at least once already, do you think we can avoid a lot of that?!" Sadly, there was no immediate answer.

Hmmm, if I can find the fox, I'll know a lot more. Thank goodness he's actually friendly! What else could she do? At least these eleven topics were better than nothing. She'd consider them more later.

.

Hatake Kakashi was utterly exhausted as he approached the village gates. Whether the pain and hollowness inside of him were considered to be physical, emotional, or spiritual, he was completely spent. Actually, he wasn't sure that he was even capable of devotion or any type of spirituality anymore. He certainly didn't deserve the grace of it.

The assassination mission he was returning from had at first gone according to plan, technically. Why had it affected him so much to put his hand through the couple's hearts, one after another, then leave their baby behind? They were rogues, and he did prudently mark the house with animal blood so that someone might find the couple's infant. What he did for the child was something that was completely against code, but for an unknown reason, he couldn't help himself. Briefly, he wondered if his disloyal action was due to the fact that the male rogue had rather bright blonde hair, while his missing-nin wife was a redhead.

Kakashi - no, Inu - didn't remember what the baby looked like, nor did he want to.

Just like her.

Approaching the ANBU HQ missions desk, he saluted at the Chunin manning it sloppily as he took off his mask, ready to sleep off the entire thing.

"Inu, you're three days late," the Chunin had the nerve to scold.

"Maa, I was held up by a Lightning squad on the border." Kakashi pulled out the accompanying body scrolls and threw them on the desk. Both he and the scrolls still had a lot of dried blood on them. Seeing the Chunin's glare, Kakashi nearly snarled back at him, daring the semi-retired ANBU to criticize his sloppiness. Fortunately, the man looked away. Unfortunately, Kakashi was handed another mission. "I need to sleep."

"No time; you're late. Shower up, they're expecting you in two hours."

Kakashi opened the seal and scoffed at the mission he'd been assigned. By the Jonin Commander, no less, so he couldn't get out of it. He couldn't even go to the Hokage to argue with the man for the mission to be reassigned to someone appropriate! At least I can shower and sleep for a while. This is the perfect time to get lost on the road of life.

"Hatake, don't be late. And I'm fucking serious this time: Nara-sama's command."

Fucking wonderful.

Ru sat against a tree, drowsily watching Moon and her boyfriend Hayate-san fight with their swords. They were so fast it was laborious to even follow their movements. She had seen them do this before at least a dozen times, but she would normally still be anxious that either one of them would hurt the other. The two were so in love, she knew that if God forbid, they hurt each other or worse, they would never forgive themselves.

She still hadn't been able to get any more sleep, but at least her anger over her realized situation, (i.e., life,) had dissipated. Or maybe she was just too exhausted to rage internally about it anymore.

Numbly, she remembered Moon-san's promise to teach her the way of the sword, just the way her sensei had taught her. Fantastic. Just what every little girl needs to know: how to kill someone with a sword. Get it together, Ru. She wasn't sure what her caretakers had in mind for this afternoon but trusted them enough to consider her mood and lack of sleep while training her in who-knows-what. She was only physically six-years-old, after all.

Taijutsu had always felt different. No matter how strong she supposedly was for someone of her age, she always felt like it was something that she'd use to defend herself and maybe get good enough to teach to others. No one should be defenseless. Now knowing that Rachel was really gone and she needed to embrace the shinobi lifestyle whole-heartedly, she might even have a chance to do that one day.

You have to embrace it, Ru. NA-RU-TO. How many times have they said it? You have no other choice!

Plus, the civilians were so antagonistic toward her... I really would like to have some friends one day. It's not that she desired friends her own physical age, as mentally she would be so much older than them. Maybe my ANBU will one day be my real friends when I'm older. She closed her eyes and briefly imagined herself as Rachel going out to a bar with a band playing in the background. She didn't remember exactly who Rachel went with anymore, but putting Anko, Moon, Genma, and Gai in their places provided her a sense of hope.

Of course, by the time she was physically able to go out and drink, her ANBU might be married with children of their own. God forbid they were not here anymore. She refused to allow herself to consider that they could die in duty right now. Mom and Dad were officers. It's basically the same thing.

They're not your parents! They were Rachel's!

As Ru began to doze off, she swore she heard a sinister chuckle, then suddenly felt it outside her body: incoming. Her eyes opened wide to see a shinobi appear in a sea of swirling leaves. He had long spiky silver wet hair and almost his whole face was covered. Momentarily she thought he seemed familiar, but his chakra or whatever it was she always got a glimpse of was cold and left a void that scared her. She bowed to the man, but kept her eyes on him, which was probably kind of rude - but this guy was creeping her out. The man stood there, staring at her, before offering a nod to Hayate and Moon.

Sometimes she wished Moon would take her mask off. Everyone else did when back at her house. She had the feeling that Moon might be older and more professional than her other ANBU, though. Hayate definitely was. Or maybe it was all that smoking that made him look so much older.

Seeing Moon and Hayate slink off, hand-in-hand, she realized that they trusted this guy. Good enough for me, I guess.

"Show me what you've got," the cyclops said lazily.

"Pardon?"

"Come at me with the intent to kill. Hajime," he said flatly.

As tired as she was, Ru - no, I'm Naruto now - felt her adrenaline rush at the familiar words. Every single one of her crazy ANBU always said that same thing when they sparred, and honestly, it was always fun! She rushed the unknown Jonin, forcing him to take his hands out of his pockets. She bobbed and weaved around him, and he didn't give her an inch. Making shadow clones and henging some of them as she moved away from him, she attempted to trip the man over one that she'd substituted for a log behind him.

Gah! He was just too good! Repeating nearly every fighting scenario she was capable of both considering or knowing how to do, she finally got lucky. Even as her chakra-enhanced punch hit his abdomen, she was pretty sure he just allowed her to do it - so much like Gai-san - and she'd admit it: it did fire her up even more!

Fuck. Naruto wasn't sure what had happened, but suddenly the guy still felt vacant, but also really, really angry. She blocked a vicious shot to her belly by crossing her arms but wondered if he'd broken the left one. It sure as hell felt like it! He tripped her, but she righted herself and was hit with multiple blows from his flying fists. God! This asshole was going to kill her!

It was nearly instinctive after all the taijutsu training she did, not to mention fearing desperately for her life. Gai had talked about opening the Gates, but made her promise to never attempt it without him being there, and that they would only attempt it when she was older. The first Gate opened up, and the Gate of Healing followed almost immediately behind. By this time she could hear screaming and yelling, but she didn't know what to do! She didn't know how to make it stop!

Even in his anger, Kakashi felt the intense rush of "the girl's" chakra and knew exactly what it was. Kyuubi. So you're showing your true self at last?

The last thing Naruto saw was a gloved fist coming right at her jaw, then she was in front of a cage. A giant cage.

"H- Hello?"

Two preposterously huge red slitted eyes opened, making her shrink back. "Get on your knees and pray to me, Worm."

"WHAT THE FUCK, HATAKE?!" Hayate had his sword pressed against the younger Jonin's masked jugular. "STAND DOWN!"

"YOU SAW IT! KYUU... Oh no," Kakashi suddenly found it hard to breathe. There laying in front of him, blood running from her mouth and nose was... Oh gods, not again! So eerily similar to the bloodied face of his sensei - his sensei who, like his wife, had a giant hole through his belly. I thought - I thought... No, now he really saw her! She was just a little girl… Sensei's little girl!

"She's not breathing!" Yugao cried out as ANBU descended.

Hayate knocked the Yondaime's apprentice out, using all of his willpower to stop himself from then cutting the man's silver-haired masked head off.