The crew gathers, and Nero returns.
If thou faint in the day of adversity, thy strength is small.
"Ahoy, matey!" said Lynne.
"WHAT?!" Michael blurted out. "Oh, Captain Lucero, how could you have sunk so low? I thought you would be better, but you went on and...and...not only you, but the entire crew, now? You were missing for who-knows-how long, and when you finally show up, it turns out you all went on and became pirates?! What would Captain Pike say?"
Indeed, Lynne had once served aboard the Enterprise under Pike before she was made captain of the Cabot. She thought about it for a minute, sighed, then began singing.
LYNNE:
Let me begin with a hearty ho-ho,
And a tale that nobody tells well,
I've not come all the way from En-C-I-N-O,
To be treated like sewage that smells!
I'm certainly not that surprised,
For this story is older than time,
Me peg-legged pirating brethren and I,
Are society's slug-ridden slime!
We've all been cast out as scallywag rogues,
With fire in our hearts and our eyes,
There's a side to us pirates that nobody knows,
And it's soft as a baby's backside!
Some of us just want adventures,
The open-sea wind in our earrings,
Why are we constantly misunderstood?
Don't you know pirates have FEELINGS?!
CALLIOPE CREW:
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates,
Can't deny this simple truth,
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
LYNNE:
People too... (too, too, too)
"Nice harmonies, mateys!" she told her crew before going back to singing.
Think of how har-r-rd we have had it, (so hard)
Out on ships, there is not much to eat, (not much to eat)
And dentists hate pirate insurance, (yo-ho, no)
CALLIOPE CREW:
Which is why we've so many gold teeth!
(We've too many gold teeth)
LYNNE:
Me laundry stays damp and me boots start to stink,
And me fingernails filthy and dirty,
Me internet loads unbelievably slow,
CALLIOPE CREW:
And me bedtime's around 7:30!
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates,
Can't deny this simple truth,
We're poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates,
LYNNE:
Have it so much worse than you...
PIRATE #1:
We've got pirate parades to which nobody comes,
PIRATE #2:
Captain Kidd hosts a marathon but nobody runs,
PIRATE #3:
Long John Silver invented the bloomin' onion,
PIRATE #4:
But you think he gets credit for that? (NO!)
PIRATE #5:
Captain...um...no one knows his first name,
PIRATE #6:
(points at one of their own) And old Greenbeard's been driven completely insane,
LYNNE:
Hardly anyone celebrates our one holiday,
Arr...Talk Like A Pirate Day!
CALLIOPE CREW:
We're poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates,
Can't deny this simple truth,
(Pirates are people too!)
Can't deny that we're poor, poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
Poor pirates,
Can't deny this simple truth,
That pirates, P-O-O-ARR,
People too,
Yo-ho!
"She's right." Joanna stood at her side. "She didn't do any bad things on our way here."
"May I request a mind meld so I can tell if you're telling the truth?" Spock asked. Saavik just eyed her fellow 8-year-old with curious eyes.
"No need to, Commander." Carol said. "I know she's telling the truth."
"And who are you supposed to be?" asked McCoy.
"Wallace. Carol Wallace." Carol replied. "My quirk allows me to read people's thoughts. I read hers, and she was being honest."
"I need proof." said McCoy. "Do you know what I'm thinking right now?"
"You think I'm pretty." Carol said, and McCoy turned a bright red. She had done it!
Klingon Lady also joined in. "You know what I'm thinking right now?"
"What a bunch of idiots." said Carol.
Lady was surprised. "How'd you know that? Wow, you're a real wonder!"
Meanwhile, Sherman was trying to talk to Bethany. "Hello, miss...?"
"Bright. Bethany Bright." replied the freeze girl. "I know you! You're the Number Three Hero, Hydros!"
"The name given to me from my tribe is Rivulet, but call me Sherman." said the hero.
That was when a Romulan ship dropped out of warp just above them. "Uh-oh. She found me..." Lynne mumbled.
"Who's "she"?" asked Michael.
"A Romulan starship commander who plays cat and mouse with me. She's the cat, and I'm the mouse!" said Lynne, a bit horrified as the others crowded protectively around Joanna and Saavik.
"We've gotta get to the Calliope—fast!" said Lynne's first officer, Ambrose Wilson. "But..."
"Dinnae worry about tha', lassie. Jus' tell me where yer ship is parked..." Scotty said, and Ambrose gave him the coordinates. Scotty quickly made a warp gate, through which the majority of the crew went.
"Captain!" cried Ambrose. "Are you coming?"
"Don't worry about me, matey." said Lynne. "I'll join you soon, until then, you are Acting Captain." With that, the warp gate closed and one figure beamed down from the Romulan ship. The figure was female with pointy ears, and a teral'n, a trident-like weapon, in one hand.
"Lucero..." said the woman.
"Hello, Livi." Lynne replied.
Just then, an alarm blared. Aaaaa-OOOOO-ga! Aaaaa-OOOOO-ga!
We've received a distress call from Vulcan. With our primary fleet engaged in the Laurentian system, I hereby order all cadets to report to Hangar One immediately. Dismissed. came Admiral Barnett's voice from the loudspeakers and everyone hurried to Hangar One. Even the two little girls, Sherman, Lady, Lynne, and the Romulan were in tow—Lynne had said "Whatever it is, I'd like to help out. You'll see that not all pirates are as bad as you make 'em out to be.", and the Romulan, whose name was later revealed as Liviana Charvanek, couldn't just leave her playmate alone. Lady also had to make good on her word and keep an eye on Lynne, so naturally, she was also roped into it. Sherman wanted to help his friend(*cough* Kirk *cough*) out, and Joanna and Saavik followed out of pure curiosity.
Aboard the Romulan ship, the crew were dumb-struck.
"...Regula I, Tracy, USS Farragut... USS Enterprise, McGrath, USS Mayflower...Vader, USS Hood. Welcome to Starfleet, godspeed." said a commander as he called out names.
"He didn't call my name. Commander! Sir, you didn't call my name. Kirk, James T.?" asked Kirk.
"Kirk, you're on academic suspension. You and Spock both. That means you're grounded, until the Academy board rules." said the commander.
"Jim, the board'll rule in your favor. Most likely. Look, Jim, I got to go...wait a minute, maybe I could help you out..." McCoy spoke, and Kirk knew what he was up to.
"...USS Neutral, Uhura, USS Farragut, Petroski, USS Antares. Go to your stations and good luck." said a female assigner.
Uhura went to talk to Spock. "Commander, a word."
"Yes, Lieutenant?" asked Spock.
"Was I not one of your top students?" asked Uhura.
"Indeed you were." replied the Vulcan.
"And did I not, on multiple occasions, demonstrate exceptional aural sensitivity, and I quote, "an unparalleled ability to identify sonic anomalies in subspace transmission tests"?" asked Uhura.
Spock could do nothing but nod. "Consistently, yes."
"And while you were well aware that of own qualified desires to serve on the USS Enterprise, I'm assigned to the Farragut?" Uhura said, now sounding upset.
"It was an attempt to avoid the appearance of favoritism." Spock said.
"No, I'm assigned to the Enterprise. After all, you're grounded." Uhura insisted, and Spock pressed some buttons on his PADD.
"Yes, I believe you are." said Spock.
That was when an officer came over to him. "Commander Spock, you're un-grounded. Captain Pike needs his first officer." she said, and Uhura made a confused face.
At the medical bay, Bones was giving Kirk a little makeover. "What are you doing?" asked Kirk.
"I'm doing you a favor. I couldn't just leave you there looking all pathetic. Take a seat. I'm going to give you a vaccine against viral infection from Melvaran mud fleas." said McCoy before jabbing him with a hypo.
"Ow! What was that for?" cried Kirk.
"Give you the symptoms." McCoy declared.
"What are you talking about?" Kirk demanded.
"You're going to start to lose vision in your left eye." said Bones.
"Yeah, I already have." Kirk groaned.
Bones smirked before adding "Oh, and you're going to get a really bad headache and a flop sweat."
"You call this a favor?" said Kirk.
"Yeah, you owe me one." Bones told him before bringing him back to Hangar One.
And when they arrived, the male assigner said "Kirk, James T. He's not cleared for duty aboard the Enterprise."
"Medical Code states the treatment and transport of a patient to be determined at the discretion of his attending physician, which is me. So, I'm taking Mr. Kirk aboard. Or would you like to explain to Captain Pike why the Enterprise warped into a crisis without one of its senior medical officers?" McCoy insisted.
"As you were." said the assigner, and the two piled into the shuttle heading to the Enterprise. Out of the corner of their eyes, they could see Michael sneaking Lady, Lynne and Charvanek in while Bethany snuck Sherman in.
Soon enough, they were aboard and in the shuttle bay, McCoy told Kirk "We need to get you changed."
"I don't feel right. I feel like I'm leaking." Kirk groaned.
Bones spotted Spock and said "Hell, it's that pointy-eared bastard."
"How come he gets to be un-grounded without pretending to be sick?" Kirk grumbled.
"Shh, he might hear you!" said McCoy and they swerved to narrowly evade becoming spotted.
In another corner, Joanna and Saavik were giggling, having successfully hijacked another one of the shuttles.
"So, you managed to get pirates to help you?" asked the Vulcan/Romulan.
"And you're a super but your superpower isn't a quirk?" Joanna asked back.
"Affirmative. My name's S'chn T'gai Saavik Lhaihtrha, what's yours?"
"Joanna McCoy. By the way, the first part of your name's really hard to pronounce, like..."
"Just call me Saavik." the Vulcanoid girl smiled.
"Alright, then, that's Jo to you." Joanna said with a smile of her own, and the two ran into the empty halls to do more exploring.
On the bridge, Pike greeted Spock. "Mr. Spock?"
"Captain. Engineering reports ready for launch." said the Vulcan.
"Thank you. Ladies and gentlemen, this voyage of our beloved flagship deserves more pomp and circumstance than we can afford today. Carry on." said Pike as he sat on the captain's chair. "All decks, this is Captain Pike, prepare for immediate departure. Helm, thrusters." he ordered.
"Moorings retracted, Captain. Dock control reports ready. Thrusters, fired. Separating from Spacedock." said Sulu, and all the ships took off. "The fleet's cleared Spacedock, captain. All ships ready for warp." Sulu informed Pike.
"Set course for Vulcan." Pike ordered.
"Aye, aye, Captain. Course laid in." said Sulu.
"Maximum warp. Punch it." ordered Pike, and Sulu "punched it" but the ship only flared up and did not enter warp. Everyone stared at him.
"Lieutenant 1701, where's Helmsman McKenna?" Pike asked the conscious of the Enterprise, a slender and petite woman with long, wavy white hair.
"He has lungworm, sir. He couldn't report to his post." replied the Enterprise.
"I'm Hikaru Sulu." Sulu introduced himself.
"And you are a pilot, right?" Pike asked him.
"Uh, very much so, sir. I'm, uh, not sure what's wrong. My quirk, it allows me to materialize an extremely durable force field around myself, or a starship if wanted. But that shouldn't deter me from piloting, so..."
"Is the parking break on?" asked Pike.
"Uh, no. I'll figure it out, I'm just, uh..." Sulu mumbled.
"Have you disengaged the external inertial dampener?" Spock asked.
Sulu pressed some buttons, and said "Ready for warp, sir."
"Let's punch it." Pike ordered, and the ship went into warp.
In sickbay, McCoy was taking care of Kirk, who asked "My mouth is itchy, is that normal?"
"Well, those symptoms won't last long. I'm going to give you a mild sedative." said Bones.
"Agh, I wish I didn't know you." Kirk groaned.
"Don't be such an infant." said McCoy before applying the sedative to his friend, and Kirk was soon knocked out cold.