Chapter 7
The winter passed by uneventfully. Spring was finally breaking through. Yoshimoto and his vassals had continued to live with us. Yoshimoto had, after much debate and discussion with his vassals, agreed to join Shingen's coalition. I was quite happy that Shingen's plan was coming together.
My belly had gotten bigger. There was no denying that I looked pregnant now. I was also starting to feel the baby moving from time to time. It had started as this fluttering feeling that I wasn't sure what it was at first. Now they were more defined. Though still not strong enough to feel from the outside.
I had been working with the seamstresses, when we all decided to call it a day and go off to enjoy the nice weather. I walked through the castle and made my way to the garden, where I heard what sounded like sawing and hammering.
I followed the sound and found Shingen working on some project. Though the weather was mild, he was working in the sun and the effort he was putting into his work had caused him to sweat slightly. He had the sleeves of his kimono tied up and it was slightly open in the front. The sun was glistening nicely off of his well sculpted muscles.
I had to do a drool check before I made my presence known. It's almost not fair how sexy he is. I thought to myself, as I stepped closer. I was about to make a comment about how much I loved watching him work when I noticed Yoshimoto was with him. Well, I can't make those kinds of comments with an audience.
"It's a beautiful day to work outside." I said.
They both looked up at me. Shingen smiled. "And it has just been made even more beautiful by your presence." He told me.
"Ah, it is good to see you as always, Ava." Yoshimoto greeted me.
"You, too." I replied, smiling at him, though I had a hard time taking my eyes off of my husband.
Shingen pulled up a log next to him and motioned for me to have a seat. "I thought you and the other seamstresses would be working for a while longer?"
"We all decided that it was just too nice out to not get out and enjoy the day." I replied, as I sat down.
"Spring time is such a beautiful time." Yoshimoto agreed. "The beauty of the earth being reborn."
"I agree. I think spring is definitely one of my favorite seasons." I replied. I then looked at Shingen. "What are you working on?"
He gave me a wry smile. "Just a little something for the baby." He answered.
I looked at the pieces of wood Shingen held and at their shape. "Are...are you making a cradle?" I asked.
He nodded. "Yes, and I also plan on making a rocking chair as well."
I felt tears stinging my eyes. I began picturing putting our baby to bed in the cradle Shingen made and of him sitting in a rocking chair, our tiny little baby wrapped in his arms, and the loving look on his face.
"Ava..." Shingen said softly, pulling something out of his kimono and dabbing my eyes with it.
"I'm sorry...I'm just so happy." I said, smiling at him. I did my best to stop my crying. "I think I'm also just a bit more emotional lately."
Shingen smiled at me. He lifted a hand and lovingly stroked my cheek with the pad of his thumb. "At least these are happy tears." He said.
"Yes." I then noticed the handkerchief Shingen was holding that he had used to dry my tears. It was the one that I had made him when I was his hostage in Echigo. "You...you still carry that?" I asked, feeling a fresh wave of tears.
"Of course, I will keep everything you make for me." He replied.
I started crying anew and Shingen wrapped his arms around me, pulling me close. He just held me as I continued to let out my tears.
Yoshimoto sat silently watching us. A gentle smile played across his lips. "I've never seen anything more beautiful." He said, his voice soft.
Shingen and I looked at him, a question in our eyes. I did my best to try and stop my tears.
He smiled at us. "The love between you two. It's truly a beautiful thing." He said answering our unspoken question.
"And here I thought you were going to be spouting more honeyed words at my wife." Shingen teased.
"You mean like you do?" I teased him.
"I only speak the truth to you, my goddess." He told me.
"You are the master of honeyed words when it comes to women." Yoshimoto agreed.
Shingen opened his mouth to protest, but then sighed.
Yoshimoto and I laughed together. "Ava, tell me something?" Yoshimoto asked, a playful glint in his eyes.
"What's that?"
"You clearly know how he was before. How hard did he flirt with you in the beginning?" Yoshimoto asked.
"You really don't have to answer that." Shingen said before I could answer.
I laughed. Then I looked at Yoshimoto. "He flirted very hard. Tried every line in the book I am sure."
"I think I can picture it." Yoshimoto said, smiling.
"Just remember cousin, you're a guest in my home." Shingen said, giving Yoshimoto a playful glare. He then turned his gaze to me. "And you my princess, don't think I will let you off the hook so easily for enjoying a laugh at my expense."
I smiled innocently at him. Then I gave a slight pout. "But...I just honestly answered his question. You wouldn't fault your wife and mother of your child for being honest would you?"
Shingen chuckled and lifted a hand to my cheek. He then kissed my forehead. "Don't worry, you'll like it." He teased, giving me a seductive smile.
"They never stop. I don't see how you can stomach it." came a familiar grumpy voice.
We all turned to see Yukimura had come out to join us. "Love is a beautiful thing." Yoshimoto replied.
"Yeah, but these two are too much." Asuna said as she came out as well.
"What brings you two out here?" Shingen asked, ignoring their teasing.
"The council is ready to gather for the meeting to discuss preparations for the spring festival, my lord." Yukimura answered.
I looked at Shingen. "Spring festival?"
"And here I was hoping to keep it a surprise." He said, giving Yukimura a side look. He then turned his eyes back to me. "Kai used to hold a festival every year to celebrate the coming of spring. We have decided to start the tradition back up."
"That sounds wonderful." I replied, an excited smile coming to my face.
Shingen smiled. "I had a feeling you would be excited once you found out."
I felt my cheeks flush.
Shingen kissed my cheek and placed a loving hand over my belly. "I'll see you later tonight, my loves."
I couldn't help but to smile. I loved it when Shingen touched my belly and showed affection to our unborn child.
He was then walking off with Yukimura. "I shall come as well. A festival is perfect for bringing more beauty to town." Yoshimoto said getting up. "Perhaps I can help bring some musicians and dancers in."
I looked over at Asuna. "And what brings you here?" I asked.
"It's a beautiful day and I thought we might go for a walk in town." She answered. "I need to pick up some supplies and I heard that one of the fabric merchants found a new supplier and has gotten in some new fabrics. Some exotic ones as well."
"Oh..." I asked. "Well, then lets go."
Asuna and I made our way into town. First we picked up the items she needed and then we headed to the fabric merchant. We walked into the shop and I was greeted by fabrics I wouldn't have imagined seeing in the Sengoku.
The shop keeper came out of the back, another man with him. I was familiar with the shop keeper, a kind older man with a gentle smile, we had developed quite the professional relationship. The man with him, was someone I had never seen before. He had white hair which was a bit darker at the base of his skull. His eyes were a brownish red and he had the tan skin of a sailor.
The two men spotted us. The shop keeper smiled at me. "Oh, Lady Ava, midwife Asuna, it is wonderful to see you both. I was just about to send word to you that I had gotten some new fabrics in."
"Word is already getting around." Asuna answered.
"These fabrics, are beautiful." I said, eyeing the bolts of fabric. There were new kinds of silk and other such fabrics...but there was also velvet.
"You have a fine eye, there m'lady." The man with the shop keeper spoke.
"Yes, Lady Ava is quite a skilled seamstress and really knows what fabrics are the best." The shop keeper said, speaking of me as if I were family.
"Is that so?" The man said, eyeing me.
There was something in the way he looked at me, that made my stomach feel uneasy.
"Oh how rude of me." The shop keeper said. "I forgot to introduce you. Lady Ava, this is Shojomaru. He is the merchant who brought me these fine fabrics. Shojomaru this is Lady Ava and midwife Asuna."
"A pleasure to meet you m'ladies." Shojomaru greeted with a bow.
"Nice to meet you as well." Asuna replied coolly. I think she sensed what I did as well.
"How are you doing, my lady?" The shop keeper asked. "You're looking more sweet and beautiful by the day. You know it's made all of Kai happy to see the Takeda line continue."
There was a look in Shojomaru's eyes at learning that. "Oh, so you're Lady Takeda then. I had heard that Lord Shingen had taken a wife and was expecting a child."
There was something about the way he said that, that sent a shiver down my spine and not in a good way.
"Lady Ava, are you tired?" Asuna asked. "We should probably get you back home. Can't have you on your feet too much."
"Yeah, I am getting tired." I replied, just wanting to get out of there. Something about Shojomaru was off and made my skin crawl.
"Well, you rest up and take care my lady." The shop keeper said.
"Yes, take care m'lady. See you around." Shojomaru said, somehow it felt ominous.
I had an uneasy feeling in the pit of my stomach as we left the shop. See you around from him felt like a threat. Thankfully Asuna and I made it back home without incident.
When we returned, we went to Asuna's room for some tea and snacks. "Are you feeling alright?" Asuna asked me.
"Yeah." I answered.
"You know you're a terrible liar, Ava." She said.
"I just...I have a bad feeling after meeting that Shojomaru guy." I answered.
Asuna gave me a reassuring smile and patted my shoulder. "Don't worry, everything is fine. I'm sure it's nothing."
"Then why did it seem like you were trying to get me out of there in a hurry?" I asked.
"I picked up on the fact that you felt uncomfortable." Asuna explained. "And part of my job is to make sure you're comfortable."
"Well...that makes sense."
"And even if there was something up with that guy, I can keep you safe. Remember, there's a reason Lord Shingen picked me to be your midwife. I have combat skills, too. And being a woman no one suspects it."
I smiled at her. "I know." I did my best to make sure to let her think my worries were gone. I just couldn't shake the feeling that something bad was going to happen and that Shojomaru would be behind it.
Later that I was taking a bath to try and calm my nerves. I leaned back against the tub and closed my eyes. That's when I heard the door slide open and shut. "Mind if I join you, my princess?"
I opened my eyes as Shingen walked to the edge of the bath, a warm smile on his face. "Not at all." I answered, returning the smile.
Shingen slid off his thin cotton robe and climbed into the water. He made his way over to me and sat down beside me. "Here let me help you wash your hair." He said, pulling me into his lap with my back to him.
"You don't have to do that." I said.
"I want to." He replied, picking up the small basin and filling it with water. "Now lean your head back."
I complied and closed my eyes as Shingen gently poured the water over my hair. Afterwards he was taking the soap and massaging it into my hair, his fingers sending tingles through my scalp. I instantly felt myself relaxing and let out a contented sigh.
Once he had finished, Shingen was then filling the small basin again and rinsing the soap from my hair. Once he had finished with that, he was then taking the sponge and washing my back. "The maids were right." He said.
"About what?"
"They said you had seemed tense when you and Asuna came back from town." Shingen said. "Did something happen?"
"Nothing really happened." I answered, not wanting to worry Shingen.
"Ava, what is it?" He asked.
"We went to the fabric shop and the new merchant the shop keeper is using was there...and I just...I got a bad feeling from him." I answered. I then went on to explain the encounter. "And just...the look on his face when he learned who I am, the way he looked at me, and the way he said see you later...it all felt...threatening."
Shingen listened intently to me as I explained meeting Shojomaru.
"I know I'm probably working myself up over nothing." I admitted. "But I just..."
Shingen lifted a hand to cup my cheek. "I don't want you to worry." He said. "Nor do I want to see you get worked up, but if you feel like something is off, you should trust that. You're quite perceptive."
"So...you don't think I'm just worrying over nothing?" I asked.
"I hope that you are." Shingen replied. "But just to be on the safe side, I will have my men look into this Shojomaru...and perhaps you shouldn't leave the castle without me. If I can't go you should make sure to take Asuna and guards with you."
I nodded. I felt assured at how seriously Shingen was taking my feelings. He just wanted me to feel safe.
"I will gladly be your personal body guard." Shingen told me, his voice strong and reassuring and yet just a hint playful.
I smiled up at my love and wrapped my arms around his neck. "There's no one I feel safer with." I said.
"I'm glad to hear that." He said, kissing my forehead.
"Nor is there anyone else I trust my body with." I added, feeling a bit more relaxed now that I was with Shingen and felt safe, I let my tone become playful.
He gave me devilish grin. He then ran a hand down my back and over my thigh, bringing it to rest just on top of my thigh. "Are you saying that you leave your body in my hands?" He asked, kissing my neck.
"Mmm...yes...you're very capable hands."
We were soon getting out of the tub and heading to our room. I was on my back in the futon, Shingen over me. He gave me a deep passionate kiss and then trailed more kisses along my neck. "I promise you...I will always keep you safe." He whispered, his breath washing over my skin.
"I know." I replied, my voice a breathy whisper.
Shingen made me feel loved and safe as he made love to me. His touch and his words were so warm and reassuring. Afterwards I fell asleep wrapped in his loving embrace.
Shingen lay in the futon watching Ava as she slept. All trace of worry and tension had left her. He sighed in relief. He stroked her hair, careful not to wake her up. "I swear to you my love, I won't allow any harm to come to you." He whispered to her sleeping face.
"Shingen..."
He looked at her at the sound of his name, but noticed that she was still sound asleep. It brought a smile to his face to hear her dreaming of him. She snuggled deeper into his embrace as she slept.
"You're impossibly cute when you sleep." He whispered. "It almost makes me want to wake you so I can make love to you again." He then let out a sigh as he pulled her closer, wrapping her tighter in his love. He kissed the top of her head before falling asleep himself.
Days later...
Shingen received word that there was a conflict in one of his outlying territories. There were rumors of skirmishes happening in the land and of possible rebellion. In order to solve the issue, Shingen was going to have to leave.
"I wish you didn't have to go." I said as we stood at the gates.
Shingen was taking Yukimura and a small yet elite force with him. He held me in his arms, lifting one hand to cup my cheek. "I know, but I promise to resolve this and return home to you quickly."
"And in one piece." I added.
"And in one piece." He agreed with a smile. "Though I may have to at least feign an injury so that my goddess will play my nurse." He added the last part with a teasing smile.
I swatted at his chest. "Why you..."
Shingen chuckled and then kissed my brow. "I promise you, I will return in one piece as quickly as I can."
"Good."
We shared a tender kiss. Then Shingen was turning to Yoshimoto, Asuna, and the group of guards who had been assigned to protect me. "I expect all of you to keep your lady safe, while I am away." He said to them all.
"Yes, my lord." The guards and Asuna assured him.
"She is family after all, of course I will protect her." Yoshimoto replied.
It warmed my heart that Shingen was seeing to my safety even if he couldn't be here for me and that they had all agreed without any hesitation. I had been worried about how his men and the people of Kai would feel that their new lady was considered and Oda princess, but no one seemed to care that I had originally come from their enemy.
Shingen gave me another kiss and then knelt down in front of me. his hands were on either side of my growing belly. "And you stay safe in there and don't give your mama too much trouble while papa is away, alright." He said, kissing my belly gently.
As always I let out a happy squee at him talking to our baby.
"Are you going to make that sound every time?" Asuna asked, almost sounding annoyed.
"I can't help it. It's so sweet when he does this." I replied, defensively.
"Will you two ever give it a break?" Yukimura asked, from his horse.
"I will not stop showing my wife and child love and affection." Shingen replied.
"You know Yukimura, I feel really sorry for whatever poor girl ends up married to you one day." I said, sticking my tongue out at him.
"With that attitude of his, that may never happen." Shingen teased, standing up.
Yukimura rolled his eyes. "Just hurry it up. We have to get going."
"True the sooner we leave, the sooner we'll be back." Shingen agreed. He then gave me another kiss before mounting his horse and leading his men off.
I stood at the gate watching them leave until they were long out of sight. I already missed Shingen. "Don't worry, Ava. He'll make it back to you safe and sound." Asuna assured me.
"Yes, my cousin is far too good of a strategist to go down easily." Yoshimoto added, placing a reassuring hand on my shoulder.
The three of us were then going inside and having tea together. I spent the next few days working on my sewing projects and doing anything I could to keep my mind busy. I was working on a baby blanket when Yoshimoto came to my door.
"Ava, may I come in?" He called from the other side.
"Yes, of course." I answered.
Yoshimoto smiled at me as he walked inside. He saw the blanket in my hands. "My what a beautiful fabric." He said, it was then that he noticed the crimson color and the pattern I was embroidering on the blanket. "Is that the Takeda crest?"
I nodded. "Yeah, I thought it would be special to put this on the baby blanket. Something he or she will always have to know a connection to the family."
He smiled. "How wonderful...and your needlework is stunning."
"Thank you."
"I saw that kimono and the haori you made for Shingen...and other various outfits people have been wearing around town that you have made. You truly have an eye for creating beautiful clothes." He complimented me.
I felt myself blushing. "Well, thank you. It's what I love to do."
"It truly shows in your work." Yoshimoto replied.
"Is there something you needed to talk to me about?" I asked. "Or were you just coming to admire my work? Oh did you want me to make you something? I would love to."
Yoshimoto smiled. "I would consider it an honor to have a kimono designed by you, but that's not why I am here." He said.
"Then what is it?" I asked. "And I will still make you a kimono now."
He laughed. "I have a dear friend who is a portrait painter. He is a truly talented artist. He is currently working on a project to showcase how beautiful women are at various stages in life."
"That sounds fascinating." I said.
"Yes, he has already done a wonderful portrait of a young girl, a maiden, and now he is ready to capture an expectant mother in a painting." Yoshimoto went on. "And I think you would just be perfect for the portrait. Plus it might be a nice gift to give Shingen when he returns."
"You want me to sit for a portrait?" I asked in surprise. My cheeks were now turning red at the thought.
"Yes. You would be perfect for the painting." He answered.
"I...I don't know about that." I replied, feeling shy.
Yoshimoto placed his hands over mine and looked into my eyes. "Ava, you are truly radiant in your pregnancy and I think my friend would consider it an honor to paint you. Not to mention as I said, I think Shingen would enjoy the painting as gift."
"Well...if it's for Shingen." I replied.
Yoshimoto beamed at me. "Wonderful. I will send word and arrange for a meeting to get started."
It was just a couple of days later, I was sitting in a meadow just outside the city. I was posed kneeling with the baby blanket I was working on in my lap. Cherry blossom trees were all around and petals danced around us in the breeze.
The painter was hard at work, putting my image on the canvas. Yoshimoto, Asuna, and my guards were all there, close, but staying out of the painter's vision. It was quiet and peaceful in the meadow. We had been out there for quite a while when Asuna declared that I needed a break.
Just as things were settling in, a small round ball was thrown on the ground now far from me. Others soon followed and a cloud of gray smoke filled the air in the meadow.
"An enemy attack!" One of the guards declared before he started coughing.
"Protect...the...princess!" Another guard called in between coughs.
I started coughing as I got to my feet. Before I knew what was happening, I felt someone come up behind me and place a cloth over my nose and mouth. "You're coming with me m'lady." A familiar voice said in my ear just before the world went black and I lost consciousness.
Shingen...
Shingen, Yukimura, and their troops had reached the province where there were rumors of conflict and potential rebellion. They made their way to the home of the local daimyo, Lord Kan.
"Lord Shingen? Lord Yukimura? What brings you here?" He asked, upon their arrival.
"We received word that you were having issues with riots and rebellion in your lands." Shingen answered.
"We haven't had anything happen, not since you've returned, my Lord." Kan answered. "It has been quite peaceful."
Shingen could tell that Lord Kan was not lying to him. He began to have a gnawing feeling in the pit of his stomach. "Have you encountered a merchant by the name of Shojomaru?" He asked, his gut telling him to.
"Yes, he was here a few days ago. He brought some rather rare and exotic fabrics to my daughters for their kimono. Why do you ask?" Kan replied.
"No reason." Shingen replied. "I am glad to see that the rumors were just that. We will be taking our leave now."
"But you just got here and it is getting late. At least allow me to host you for the evening, my lords."
"There is no need for us to intrude on you." Shingen replied. "We really must be returning, though."
"Alright, if there is anything you need, please take some supplies with you for your journey."
Once they left Lord Kan, Yukimura turned to Shingen. "What's wrong?" He asked. "And why did you ask about that merchant?"
"I have a bad feeling that this was all a trap." Shingen answered.
"But we haven't been attacked."
"I don't think I am the target." Shingen answered. "I think it was a trap to get me away from Kai...away from Ava."
"And you think this Shojomaru has something to do with that?"
"Ava said he gave her a bad feeling when she met him. I don't doubt her instincts when it comes to people."
The group began to head back to Kai immediately. On their way back, they were met by one of Shingen's Mitsumono. "My lord, I bring...news from Kai."
"What is it?" Shingen asked.
"It's Lady Ava...she has been kidnapped."
Shingen felt like the world was crumbling around him as he heard this news. The air left his lungs and his heart gave a painful thump.
"We are actively searching for where she was taken." The subordinate continued his report. "A pursuit party was immediately dispatched, but the enemy is very skilled...and we have lost several good men."
"I will find her and whoever took her...I will make them pay." Shingen said, glaring up at the sky. He then kicked his horse into a hard run. Yukimura and his men soon followed.
They arrived back in Kai in half the time it had taken them to leave in the first place. When they arrived, they were greeted at the gate by Yoshimoto, Asuna, and Ava's guards. Shingen immediately dismounted his horse and strode to the group. "What happened?" He asked.
"We...we were ambushed outside of the city." Yoshimoto answered.
"We were all with her, but...the enemy that attacked, they used smoke bombs and we were all overcome. We couldn't stop coughing and by the time the smoke cleared...Ava was gone." Asuna answered.
"I am sorry, cousin. We failed you."
"I should have never left." Shingen said, clenching his fists. "It was all a setup to get me out of Kai and away from her."
Just then one of Yoshimoto's vassals arrived on the scene. "We received word from one of your spies, Lord Shingen." The man said.
"What do you know?"
"Lady Ava was taken by that merchant who calls himself Shojomaru." He answered. "Though he's not just a merchant...but a pirate."
"What port did he go to?" Shingen asked.
The vassal shook his head. "No port...he's taken Lady Ava into Oda territory."
Ava...
I woke up some time later, my head pounding. My wrists and shoulders ached. I could feel that I was moving, or rather whatever I was in was moving. I opened my eyes to see that I was in the back of a wooden cart. I tried to move, but my hands were bound at my wrists behind my back.
"Ah, you're awake now I see, m'lady."
I turned my head to the sound of the familiar voice. I saw Shojomaru sitting at the back of the cart. I glared at him. "I knew there was something threatening in the way you talked to me in the shop."
He flashed a grin. "You got good instincts then. Of course that's what made it harder to capture ya."
I struggled to try and sit up. Between being tied up and no longer being able to effectively use my stomach muscles because of my growing belly, I wasn't able to sit up.
Shojomaru noticed this and let out a laugh. Then he reached over and grabbed me by the sleeve of my kimono and pulled me up. "There ya go m'lady."
"Keep your hands off of me." I said, forcing as much venom into my voice as I could.
He threw up his hands. "Sorry, thought ya looked uncomfortable just lyin' there."
"So, what are you going to do with me?" I asked. "Why capture me?"
"You're the wife of Shingen Takeda. One of the most powerful and smartest of the lords in the land. He's perfect for what I need him for." Shojomaru answered. "And thanks to the people of Kai, I know how much he loves you. You're the perfect pretty little hostage to get him to dance to my tune...of course I have two hostages for the price o' one with you." He added the last part, looking at my swollen belly.
"You do anything to harm my baby..."
"Oh, is mother bear coming out?" Shojomaru asked, a knife-like smile on his face. "Don't worry no harm will come to either of you as long as Lord Shingen does what I need him to."
"And what is that?" I asked.
"Not ready to tell ya just yet, m'lady."
I was about to say more, but decided not to. I looked around as the cart was open. I noticed that there were several very rough looking men walking or on horseback around the cart. They were also very clearly armed to the teeth. They were all covered in scars and tattoos with skin that had clearly seen the sun and salty sea air.
"As you can see you've no hope of escape, m'lady." Shojomaru said.
"Just as I can see you're no merchant." I replied, though I did vow to myself I would try to escape. I just had to be smart about it. I had to be careful as anything bad happening to me meant something could happen to my baby.
"I'm a merchant...I just come by my cargo a bit differently than others." Shojomaru replied.
"In other words you're a pirate."
"You catch on quick." Shojomaru said.
"And I guess your name isn't really Shojomaru either."
"You'd be right. That's what I say to hide my real identity. Many people thought I died a long time ago." He replied. "Guess I could tell you who I really am since I know who you are. Only fair I guess. The name's Motonari Mori."
The name was familiar and yet I couldn't place it. Dammit, I really should have paid better attention in history class. I thought to myself. "That supposed to mean something to me?" I asked.
He laughed, sounding like a mad man. "Haha! I like you. You've got some fire in ya."
"If it weren't you, I'd take that as a compliment."
Motonari laughed again. "This just might be fun."
We traveled for another two days before we were arriving in a small town. When we were just outside the town, Motonari cut the ropes binding my wrists. "Don't do anything to draw attention to yourself, m'lady." He told me. Even though he wore a smile, I could tell that it was a threat.
"Fine." I agreed.
"That's a good girl."
I have to get out of this somehow. I have to find a way. I thought. Though I knew there really wasn't much of a chance. I was no match for these guys. My only hope was that someway somehow Shingen would be able to find me and save me. I had complete faith that he could and he would, but I still wished I could escape on my own.