Chapter Seven:

Yellow Hair

After giving Mrs. Lovett the excuse she was asking Mr. Todd a quick question, (which, to be fair, wasn't a complete lie, she was going to ask him something after she told her), Johanna found him in his shop. Her stomach hardened as she neared the door. He was finishing a customer. Perhaps she should come later. Johanna turned away, but jumped as the door swung open. The customer tipped his hat to her as he left down the stairs. Johanna sucked in a deep breath and entered the shop.

Mr. Todd slipped a razor into its case. She twisted the tips of her hair. She felt sick.

"I need to talk to you," Johanna blurted out.

Mr. Todd closed his razor case and studied her before nodding. "What is it?"

"Well." She stepped forward. "I'm in a certain condition." That was the way she planned to say it. The phrase was more adult and much less embarrassing to say. Although Mr. Todd didn't seem to understand. She took a breath. "That is to say, I'm expecting." He did not answer. Johanna chewed on her lower lip. No, she needed to be adult about this. "I'm pregnant and since I am, I think it's only reasonable I see Anthony. He's the father and my husband. He's back in town"- That made him sound like he'd purposefully left her. -"after being called away. He's still a sailor, after all. I want him to be there to raise his child and he does, too. I was raised without my father or mother. The last thing I want is for my baby to suffer the same fate."

Johanna placed her hands on her upper belly. The same way she'd seen other pregnant mothers do. It showed off the bump, which made her feel a bit shy, but she needed to stand her ground now.

Mr. Todd said nothing after her ramble. He stared. At her. At her abdomen. Johanna trembled.

"No."

One word in a whisper.

This was excepted, yet some of her hope deflated. Part of her hoped Mr. Todd wouldn't argue against her. She rounded her shoulders and tilted her chin.

"Well, why not?" Johanna curled her fist. "I hope you have a good reason, Mr. Todd. As I've told you, Anthony is my legally wedded husband. I need to see him. Preferably, live with him."

"That's out of the question."

She took another step. "I don't think it is at all." She cocked her head.

"Sailors leave. You said it yourself. Anthony left when you. Even when needed him."

"No! He was forced to leave. He woke up in a hospital and they refused to discharge him, then he was immediately called away. You dragged me away from him. Time and time again. Anthony Hope is my husband. I think you're the one who's out of the question."

Mr. Todd raised a hand and danger danced in his eyes. Fueled by nothing but anger, Johanna didn't flinch. She glared.

"Do you expect me to allow my child to grow up the same way I did? If you thought so, you would be very mistaken, Mr. Todd. I will not allow for my son or daughter to grow up in the clutches of my enemy as I was." Johanna now stood toe-to-toe with Mr. Todd. "Which would be you."

She expected him to hit her. Or to bring out his razor and slay her the way he slew men before, by the way his hands made fists and the tension buzzing off him. Johanna half-wanted him to. So she could run to Anthony. She would have more reasons she hated Mr. Todd.

But he didn't.

Mr. Todd took deadly steps away from her. Until he was on the other side of the room. Away from his razors and weapons. Johanna froze. He was planning something; she knew. Since she didn't know what to expect. Or how to save herself.

"You say that my wanting to protect you is a terrible thing. You think me worse than the devil himself!" His tone was sharp and low, but raised until he was shouting. "You think of me worse than the very man who raised you. He raped your mother! He twisted her into someone else. He took everything that made Lucy herself and turned it evil. His intentions were to marry you, to satisfy his lust for you. I don't know what stopped him from taking you right there and then. He sent me to prison because of his lust. To appease his own desires was above the law and above God. He killed Benjamin Barker and your mother! Yet, you believe I'm the evil being!" Mr. Todd spat the words out.

Johanna inhaled sharply. "I admit, there are differences between you. There are lots of them. Yet both of you seem to find it correct to lock me up! I am not a lark in a cage, Mr. Todd. I am human. Perhaps more human than you are at this point!"

"I gave you more freedom than he did!" He thrust his arm to the side.

She hesitated.

"For this time of my life, maybe, but Judge Turpin used to take me on strolls through the park. I used to take my lessons in the library and eat in my nursery. By the time I was thirteen, my freedoms were limited. He locked me in my room. Much like you do every night now!"

"What do you want?"

"I want to be free! Mr. Todd. I want to go outside and experience the world. Anthony promised he would take me to magical, far-off lands." Johanna numbered off her fingers. "India, Peru, New York, one day. I want that freedom. I want to see Anthony again." Without having to meet in secret.

Mr. Todd slammed the wall. "You'll hurt yourself."

Johanna scoffed. "I doubt it, Mr. Todd. The world is not as dark as you or I believe. I'm sure of it."

"And what did the world bring you? You're pregnant with a distant husband. The world is just as dark as you imagined it. If anyone knew that, it would be you."

That caused her to pause. She adjusted her stance as she prepared her next words.

"Don't make me sound like the average whore, Mr. Todd. I am nothing of the sort. This child is fully legitimate. It was made out of love between me and my husband."

He raised his hand. "Still-"

The door was thrown open. With enough tension to break a bone, Mrs. Lovett stood red-faced in the doorway with her fists on her hands, the way she did when she scolded Toby.

"What's all this about?" Mrs. Lovett exclaimed, "We can hear you from down there. I want to be known as the woman who put Mrs. Mooney out of business, but that's not happening the way you two keep chasing me customers away. I don't care if you apologize or just glare at each other. Either way, quiet down."

With a glare at both of them, she slammed the door.

Neither said a word.

Johanna uncurled her hand and stretched her fingers on her belly. Maternal instinct, she supposed, but didn't think on it too much. She glared at Mr. Todd on her way out.

The shop carried a certain bashfulness in the air. Or perhaps it was just Johanna. She ignored it and began serving customers, as usual, drowning her anger with polite smile.

"Did Mrs. Lovett change the recipe, Miss?" a customer asked, glancing at the woman sitting across from him, "I remember them tasting differently."

"I'm not sure, but I could go ask."

At his nod, Johanna found Mrs. Lovett. After asking, she rolled her eyes and ran her hand through her frizzing hair.

"Tell him we changed the meat. The rest's all the same."

The customers seemed satisfied with that explanation.

Anthony found her when she was out back, desperate for fresh air. His eyes shined with the unspoken question.

Johanna sighed. "It didn't go over well," she said, "We got into a shouting match and Mrs. Lovett scolded at us like we were naughty children."

She buried herself further under Anthony's arm. She was being childish, she knew, but his embrace made her heart explode and rain sunshine throughout her body. She was safe with him.

"What do we do?" she wondered, looking up at him.

"Run away," Anthony said, "I know I've said this too many times, but, Johanna, I don't know what else to do. I'll quit my job. I'll find another one. We just have to get out of here."

"Anthony-"

"There are other things I can do, too. People always need something done around the house or whatever. I won't leave you again if you don't want me to. I'll be there and you know I keep my word. Johanna, we'll-"

"Anthony."

"Go to Paris, like I promised. I've been there before. I have friends and acquaintances there. Pierre's married now, but I'm sure he and his wife will let us-"

"Anthony." Johanna caressed his cheek. "We can't."

"We can. I know it. It might take some time, but I'll come up with a plan-"

"No, Anthony. I can't. I can't travel anymore. Mrs. Thomas told me. I think she's already worried since I didn't even know I was pregnant for months. We'd have to stay here and that's not far away enough."

Part of her was glad.

Yes. Johanna wished for those adventures with Anthony. She wanted to be a normal person. But it couldn't be. Why try? She wasn't close to Mr. Todd. She never would be. Even if she had a bond with him, she wouldn't dare admit it. Johanna had no such thing, meaning there was nothing to not admit.

She hated it.

"Johanna . . ."

"I don't want it to be this way," she assured him, "I want to run away, too."

But we can't.

"Johanna"-he took her hands-"I'm not leaving you. I'll figure something out. Here I'll be back."

With a kiss, he left. Johanna reached out, yearning to call his name as he disappeared around the corner to stop him. It wouldn't work.

She sighed and headed back to the shop, finding Mr. Todd nearby. Johanna hesitated ]but continued, lifting her chin as she passed him. She stopped and turned around.

"Anthony has provided me with a few pounds. I need to order a few items. I wanted you to know when my parcels arrive with my name on them."

Johanna made her words haste and went back to her duties, ignoring Mr. Todd.

There was something yellow in the cupboard. Sticking out like wheat. Johanna balanced herself on her toes (which she'd learned previously was a terrible idea, she pushed back the thought). A small bag was there, with a few wisps of hair sticking out.

Whose hair would Mr. Todd keep? He didn't have friends or neighbors. Johanna supposed Mrs. Lovett doubled as both, but the two seemed distant lately. Besides, Mrs. Lovett's hair was nearly the opposite of yellow. With a look over her shoulder, she removed the hairs. She held them out. They were familiar. Uncanny. Johanna held them up to her own hair.

They matched her own. Damaged, but the same shade of yellow as hers was. Johanna was certain this wasn't her hair, however. Something was different about it.

Mr. Todd entered, pausing at noticing her.

"What are you holdin'?"

"Whose is this?" Johanna flipped around, making her a tad dizzy. She held up the bag.

Once it clicked in Mr. Todd's mind, he grabbed for it. Johanna turned it away. The hair tickled between her fingers.

"I'm not giving it back until you tell me, sir."

Under Mr. Todd's gaze, Johanan almost felt herself shrink. He used their statues to his advantage to take the bag. He carefully set it aside with a scowl. Johanna stayed - for whatever reason. She still did not understand.

"Mr. Todd, sir," Johanna said, "That wasn't my hair, was it?"

"It wasn't."

Mr. Todd leaned a hand against the wall. Peering down at the locks in his hand. Johanna left, left to wonder whose hair was that.