When she moved, it looked like she was gliding over the floor more than walking. There was a graceful air around her as the silky fabric of the long, elegant robe brushed her slim legs with each hurried step, and when she got closer, Rick noticed she looked…different, so beautiful, but different. Makeup, she was wearing makeup.
Rick just kept staring. Carl was the same, looking at her as if he was seeing another woman. But she truly looked beautiful. Her head bowed, pointedly away from their open scrutiny, Amanda approached the mini crib and scooped Judith up in her arms.
She draped the baby girl over her shoulder as she finally raised her head and tossed Rick a half glare.
"Why are you making her cry?" she asked, her voice sounding pissed as she gently rubbed Judy's back with her right hand. Judith's hand instantly went to her hair as his baby girl sobbed on Amanda's shoulder with soft hiccups.
"I told him so—" Carl supported Amanda with a scoff as Rick sat on the bed beside him.
Rick heaved a sigh. "Wanted her to sleep in her bed."
"Rick—" Her tone took a note on almost chiding, towing Judith closer. "Adaptation takes time. She's been sleeping with you for weeks now," she went on with the same slow tone before she added, "She needs time."
With that, his gaze found her again. They exchanged another brief glance. Her eyes—it was hard to decide their color now in the dimly lit room when the emerald hue of her robe placed a haze in them. They looked captivating, her usual mossy green turned so deep and so…green. Rick felt like he could look at them for an eternity and still not see the bottom.
Rick saw her drawing in a low breath. She twisted aside, breaking their eye contact, and started pacing the room, her hand still sliding over Judy's back. With a rustle of sheets, Carl stood up.
"I'm going downstairs—" his son declared, heading to the door.
Realizing that Carl didn't want to be in the same room with them right now, Rick let him. He could understand. This was getting awkward, more than Rick had thought. Amanda's back was still to them, as if she felt the same as she swayed on her feet—her bare feet, rocking Judith in her arms.
Her silhouette in the soft light etched on his eyes. The long robe had made her hour-glass figure even more evident, her tiny waist pronounced with the silk belt, her tight small ass rounding around the silken fabric as she arched the small of her back a little to support Judith.
The long flowing skirts of it were draping gracefully around her legs like a waterfall. Rick's gaze traced the length of it until it finished around her feet. With each sway her feet made, the hems of the skirt brushed her ankles, and Rick caught the glimpse of the little tattoo over her right inner ankle again; the tiny ink circle, the symbol he'd seen Beth draw at the tree where they'd buried Maggie under.
The sight of it combined with everything else made him stir in his pajama pants as he imagined kissing her ankle just right there.
He wanted to do it. Amanda had ankles so tiny, so delicate. He wanted to wrap his fingers around it, bring her foot up to his lips, kiss her ankle, run his tongue over it, make up his way up to her inner thighs, peppering her smooth skin with kisses. Then—then—he would kiss her just right there as she squirmed with anticipation of his kisses.
Rick had never done it. Hadn't tasted her yet. He wanted to do it. Wanted it terribly. He wanted it so terribly, he almost stood up and pushed her against the door and dropped on his knees in front of her. What was she wearing under that robe? The urge to find out rose in him, but then his eyes fell on Judith.
Instead of calming the desire he felt simmering inside him, the sight of them together made it even worse as the feeling hit him strongly. This—this was what he wanted. He wanted her like this. Not going out, risking her life without him. It felt wrong, it felt—
Amanda turned to him. "She's slept," she announced in a small voice as Rick stared at her, taken up with his own musings, thoughts he didn't know how to handle.
Bowing his head still sitting on the edge of the bed, Rick nodded. "Thank ya."
Amanda walked back to the crib slowly, her robe's hems sliding over her feet, but Rick tried not to look at it. He didn't trust himself anymore.
Leaning over the crib's railings, Amanda lay down Judith before she drew up. "I—I should go." Hearing the murmured words, his head jerked up. "Carl will be coming back."
Rick gave a half nod. A slight frown appeared over her eyebrows. She looked…surprised.
Did she expect him to ask her to stay? Waited for him to make a move? Amanda had never been good at making first moves, but she had come. She couldn't let Judith cry and stay next door, but she had come—perhaps for more?
And I'm still here, Rick, he recalled her words from the woods.
He opened his mouth to ask her to stay, stay with him. He really wanted to have a whole night with her alone. Just two of them. Even though she still wasn't ready yet, he just wanted her to be with him. In the bed. He'd told her before he didn't plan to spend it sleeping, but they could do other stuff…lay down…watch a movie, perhaps read together.
There was a small TV and DVD player in the room, and the book Amanda had brought to Carl from their supply run was on the bed stand on Carl's side. They could lay down and read it together. He just wanted her at his side. In his arms. "Aman—"
He was cut before he could even utter her name by Judith's soft cries. Amanda's head whipped down as she almost jerked on her feet at the interruption. Judith held the crib's guard rails and pulled herself up, puffing out sobbing breaths. She raised her tiny arm towards Amanda immediately after seeing her again.
Amanda heaved a sigh before she started softly laughing. "We just put you down, baby girl," she called out to Judith, shaking her head.
A smirk played across Rick's lips. "Adaptation takes time, huh?"
She raised her eyes at him under her bowed head. "Don't be a smartass, Deputy."
Rick chuckled lowly. Amanda took Judith up again and padded around to sit beside him on the bed. Rick reached out to them as she passed Judith over to her left shoulder. Amanda shook her head, twisting away from his hands. "It's okay—" she murmured to the baby.
His hand shifting, Rick passed a hand at the side of her head and tucked a lock of her hair over the back of her ear. "You look very beautiful," he told her softly.
Even in the dim lights, Rick saw her blush. "Thanks—" she murmured. "Beth found them in the room. The others left them behind, I guess. We found some makeup stuff, too." She waved her free hand over her face.
Rick ran his fingers over the robe's neckline. "It's very beautiful."
"Yeah—" she said, hoisting up Judith a little as the baby girl stopped crying once she was back in her arms, drooling over her left shoulder sleepily. Rick chuckled. "And Judy is giving you a stain."
She dipped her head down, twisting it to the other side, and from her profile, Rick saw a gentle smile flickering over her lips. She shrugged.
They stayed silently for a few minutes until Judith completely stayed still. Amanda turned to him. "Do you think we try again?" she asked.
Rick shrugged his shoulders. "You're the expert."
With a half eye-roll, Amanda rose to her feet and leaned over the crib to put Judy down as Rick watched—her backside, the round, small bump of her ass… Giving in the temptation, his hand shot up, and he caressed the swell of her hip, rubbing his palm over her right buttock.
She jumped slightly as she drew up and whirled to face him. "You look so beautiful, Amanda—" Rick whispered to her in a murmur, standing up, his eyes fixated on hers.
He snagged her wrist, and pulling her gently against her chest, he walked backward to the bed. "Stay—" he murmured over her lips, angling his head down. "Stay with me tonight."
The back of his knees hit the bed's edge. "Rick—" His name on her lips was all but a moan.
"Please—" He leaned in further and kissed her.
She let him.
In a second, they tumbled into the bed, Rick falling on his back. Moving himself upward over the bed by pushing with his feet, he dragged her along with him, his arms tightly coiled around her to suspend her lithe form over him.
Her legs were between his as he'd tucked them in, his hardness pressed on her groin as she fitted against him perfectly. Rick felt it again; felt it running through his veins; she was made for him, fitting to his edges perfectly… Resting himself back on the pillows, Rick rolled them over and tucked her under him.
Rick wanted to look at her. He wanted to watch her as he fucked her slowly, gently, taking his sweet time as he stroked himself in her depths like in his dreams. He wanted to see every expression she made as he did it, every moan, every groan as she tried to keep herself silent, her nails clawing at his back as she wrapped her legs around his waist tighter.
The image was so powerful, his cock throbbed painfully—twitching to get inside her—feel her heat, feel her fluttering, beating around himself like a pulse, clenching him.
"Amanda—" he murmured, leaning over her further, nestling himself further between her legs, grinding against her core. Heat was spreading over him; she felt like aflame on him, her hotness, her heat; she was his flame, and he was drawing to her center like a moth.
His hand started untying the belt around her waist. He wanted to see what lay under, wanted to slip off the robe, wanted to see those slim ivory-hued legs, that graceful ivory-toned bosom he'd spied before. He wanted to caress every inch of her body, he wanted to kiss every inch of her skin—her plains, her curves, her hidden places. He wanted to taste her, suck her in the places no one but him could see.
Loosening the belt, his hand crawled down through the folds of silken fabric and slithered between her legs.
His lips peppered small kisses under her jaw over to her ear as his hand brushed her wet entrance beneath the lace underwear. A thong. His breath hitched, realizing it as Amanda made a whimper in return, so soft. Combined together, they incited the desire in him even more.
"Amanda—" Rick called out her name again. He didn't know what to say. He wanted to say he always wanted her at his side now. He wanted to say he couldn't dream a life without her anymore. He wanted to say he loved her…
He tilted his chin up for a long, long kiss, but twisting her head aside, Amanda avoided his lips.
"Rick—we—we—" she slurred the words hoarsely, gripping his shoulders. "We—we can't." She tightened her grip. "Judith—"
As the name left her mouth in a whisper, Rick closed his eyes, breathing deeply.
Judith.
They couldn't do it. They weren't ready. Rick could keep her quiet, but Amanda wasn't ready to have sex with him while Judith was sleeping beside them. Time…they needed time.
The words echoed in his mind as Rick forced himself to settle down once again.
Rick drew upright, rolling himself off her towards the bed's edge, and slid back against the cushioned headboard. Amanda was still laying at his other side, staring at the ceiling, making no attempt to tidy up herself. She looked dazzled as she sprawled out, her legs bent at the knees in a slight angle, her right arm extended.
The open belt created a slit in her robe, where Rick spied a chemise in the same rich emerald tones. Rick knew now what she wore under that. His breath hitching, his cock throbbing painfully in his pajama pants, he drew his eyes away and bowed his head.
He kept his eyes trained in front of him. If he looked at her a second longer before he was cooled off, he knew he would lose it. Lose it completely.
They stayed like that for a while, both not talking. Rick stared down, his hardness still throbbing with each breath he took as Amanda just stared at the ceiling motionlessly. Then Judith started whimpering again.
With a sigh, Rick moved over to the bed's edge and held the mini crib. As the little minx poked her head out of the crib's edge, Rick couldn't help himself anymore. He began laughing softly.
Losing the fight, Rick picked up the baby girl, and returning to the bed, he tucked her against his chest as he settled down in the bed, pushing himself up against the headboard. When he did, he also saw Amanda start stirring. She turned her head aside and gave them a look, and her lips started curving upward, too.
And she looked so, so beautiful. Rick wondered if she would look like this each morning after sleep. "Should learn by now when a battle is lost," he murmured, reflecting her smile back.
At his words, Amanda smiled further. She wrapped the gown around her in a twirl of silk and rolled on her side. Watching them, she lifted her hand up and touched Judith's back gently. "Yeah. She's as much as a stubborn mule as her daddy—" she whispered.
Rick scoffed. "Look who's talking."
She moved to kneel, baring an ample amount of bare skin through the slit and disheveled neckline of the robe, his snowflake necklace dangling just under her collarbone. Amanda never took it off. She leaned down toward Judith and kissed the top of her head as his baby girl slowly fell asleep again in his arms.
Then Amanda swung her feet over the bed and started standing up.
Freeing one hand from Judith, Rick caught her wrist before she fully raised to her feet. "Stay—" he whispered at her. "You—you can still stay."
She deeply heaved. "Rick—it—it's not a good idea."
He shook his head. "We don't have to have sex. We could sleep. Like last night." He looked at her, and his tone turned almost imploring. "Please. Stay."
She stayed motionless for a few seconds at the bed's edge, staring at him as Rick still held her wrist. Then silently, she crawled towards his other side again, as Rick rolled the crib to the bed's side to provide a makeshift bedrail and laid Judith down next to him on the bed. He crawled down the bed and brought the little sofa at the foot of the bed beside the crib to completely block the edge for Judith. Satisfied, Rick crawled back up the bed.
Amanda gazed at Judith, the baby girl softly puffing in her sleep as Rick settled himself between them. His left arm reached out and tucked Amanda under it as she snuggled against his chest, half sitting, half laying. The slit of the gown revealed her bare legs again, and when Rick tilted his head down, he caught the glimpse of her décolletage, and again, his necklace.
The sight of it like that this time gave Rick such a stir his stomach coiled. He wanted to feel her, touch her… His hand around her hip slid up over the curve of her side before slipping underneath the silk cloth. Rick cupped her small, perky breast.
Her eyes raised and found his, but Amanda didn't react to his fondling. Rick didn't push it, either, only kept his hand there as he gently rubbed her softness like he'd done last night. Even with groping, the gesture was soothing him. He ran his palm over her nipple softly as he dipped his head and a light kiss on the top of her head. It made her snuggled against him closer as she almost purred, throwing her right leg between his. The act exposed her leg to his sight until her hip through the slit in the robe. God. Rick wished she always could come to his bed like this.
The thought, the sight of her gave him another stir, but Rick forced himself to focus on something else as his eyes trailed down along the slender leg and thought of the tiny tattoo on the inner part of her right ankle.
All things considered; it was a curious thing. Amanda wasn't the…type of girl you would expect to have tattoos. The placement of it was also curious, where it would stay almost invisible. But that part made sense. Her wanting to keep it secret, guarding her secrets like she usually did.
The thought rose affection in him, quenching the burning fire. Rick wondered what the design meant. He knew it meant something. Amanda wouldn't literally etch something on her skin unless it meant something to her.
"Amanda—" Rick called out softly, still making lazy rubs over her breast. "That tattoo… what is it?"
She blinked at him a few times, craning her neck to gaze at him. Then twisting aside, she looked down, raising her foot an inch higher over his. "This—?" she asked, turning back to him. Rick saw a slight smirk appearing over her lips. "It's a reminder for me not to drink absinthe."
Tilting his head down, Rick arched a brow.
Amanda softly giggled. "I was into partying for a while when I was at the community college. Like a semester. I got bored eventually, but got this after a drunken night." She waved her ankle lightly, almost playful.
Rick shook his head, smiling. "I don't think I can manage to imagine you as a party girl no matter how much I try."
She huffed. "I know." She looked up at him again. "Even got my hair dyed green once."
"No."
She nodded with a soft giggle. "I know. Don't worry. It passed quickly."
Flicking his eyes down, Rick gave her another smile. He felt himself relaxing, even his hardness settling down. It was soothing, having her like this, curled up against his side like a cat, a well-pampered, well-taken care of, lavish cat. The thought, the sight of her took him again.
Rick had made it. He hadn't found her this elegant robe, but he'd brought her here, made it possible. Found them a home, where she could lay down with him in a bed like a graceful feline, clad in a luxurious lingerie. Rick felt a strong surge of relief and contentment washed over him.
Amanda—the woman he loved should be like this. The feeling was with him once more, rising in him strongly, the urge to protect her, keep her safe, keep her like this. They had to talk. He needed to tell her. He needed to tell her it wasn't just that he didn't like her being out.
He didn't want her to do legwork, wanted them to focus on their relationship instead, figure out each other like they'd talked before, get to know each other better without the stress of life-or-death situations. If they had to do stuff, they would, but Rick didn't want her to go on runs constantly endangering herself.
But it wasn't a discussion for tonight. Having her like this felt so good, that he just didn't want anything to disturb their peace. Rick had missed it, the simplicity of it and the serene calmness. Even before the turn, things had become so strained with Lori, they couldn't have these kinds of peaceful moments between couples.
Couples.
Rick liked the ring of it. They were a couple now, true partners.
He tipped his head as Amanda tucked hers against his shoulder even further. Her eyes were already half closed languidly, even though the green haze was still shimmering in them. "What does it mean?" Rick asked, inclining his right foot upward in the air as the act made hers rise too. "It's a symbol, right?"
He recalled he'd seen it before, but couldn't pinpoint what it was. Amanda nodded lingeringly. It was as if her whole body had moved into slow motion. Every move she made now was languorous, as silky as the gown she was wearing. Her agility was still there, the cool and curt edges, just softened in his arms for a while. The notion gave him a manly stir, something in his chest tugging as he wondered what he could do to have her like this in his arms every night.
"It's ouroboros," Amanda answered his question. "A symbol for the circle of life. Birth. Death. Rebirth."
Surprised, Rick shot her a look, dipping his head again. "Do you believe in reincarnation?"
Amanda did yoga, but he had never thought her of being into its spiritual part. She ran, did workouts, and those move-flow sequences she performed one after another effortlessly, but Rick had never seen her mediate before.
"Not really. I just liked the notion, I guess—" she admitted. "But it wouldn't be bad, huh?" She propped her chin up on his shoulder and looked at him, but her green eyes now had a serious curiosity. "Are you religious, Rick? Do you believe in God?"
His eyes moving down, Rick looked back at her. They never asked each other these kinds of personal questions. Her asking it openly made something in his stomach shift. Rick shook his head. The last time he'd tried, the last time he wanted to believe there was more to this nightmare they had, a purpose, Rick had his wish rewarded with Carl getting shot by a stray bullet.
"No," Rick replied. He used to believe in people before, even when he saw the atrocities that they were capable of as a law enforcement officer. It felt like another lifetime now.
"I always tried to believe in people before," Rick continued, letting out a scoffing laugh, his voice roughing further. "I wasn't always like this. I was Officer Friendly."
His words though made Amanda smile at him gently as she drew up an inch away from his chest. "It's okay—" she murmured, reaching out up towards him. "I wasn't like this, either—"
Rick understood. She was Officer Ice Queen. Before. Not now. Not anymore. Because she had him now.
Their lips touched, and they started kissing. The kiss were almost as lazy as the moment they were having, meaningful but slow, lingering. He caressed the side of her face. She brushed her fingers across his jawline in answer. The languid kiss continued with no haste. Rick had no haste. There was no urgency. He didn't want to rush things. He wanted to do it properly, give her what she truly deserved.
Rick broke the kiss, coiling his arms around her waist and hauling her up. He tucked her legs at one side of his hips as he settled her on his lap gently. With a soft smile, Rick brought a hand across the nape of her neck and brought her head again at the crook of his neck before he kissed her bare shoulder lightly.
As he hugged her tightly, Amanda hugged him back in the same way. "Gonna take you out for dinner tomorrow—" Rick murmured in her ear after a while as they stayed in each other's arms, just cuddling.
"Out?"
Rick bobbed his head. "Yeah. Will make that casserole, then we will find a place and eat it together."
He felt her smile against the side of his neck. "Then it's a date."
"It is—" Rick agreed. "Our first date." Of many.
She drew back an inch and pointed a finger at him as she looked like she was fighting off a smile. "You better ask help for that casserole, Rick—" she warned playfully. "I don't want to get sick on our first date."
"Don't worry—" he whispered to her before tightening his arms to draw her back to him. "It's gonna be a night to remember. I promise."
# # #
There was something in the way they were that made her lay…dormant in his arms. Amanda knew she shouldn't stay, that she should leave, but she just…couldn't. Not after he'd looked at her like that, asking—almost begging her to stay. So, she'd walked back.
So far so good.
She felt like she'd sunken in a time dilation field, their pace slowed down, the world slowed down. This was their third night in Alexandria, and nothing bad had happened so far, like Rick had said. Perhaps that was really it. Perhaps she really started counting on her board again, how many days they had without an accident.
The thought should get her stressed, but she couldn't manage to get herself worked up. The thought of having sex had unsettled her again, especially when they were in the room with Judith, but then somehow even Rick playing with her breast lazily while Judith slept beside them peacefully couldn't manage it.
So, Amanda just let it slide, snuggling against him instead. She also knew she was giving him an eyeful, the way the robe revealed her body, but she couldn't bring herself to care about it either. In fact, a part of her even wanted it, like how before she wanted Rick to see her pretty, Amanda wanted him to see her like this, too.
Amanda tried to quell the shiver, remembering his promise. It's gonna be a night to remember. She wanted it. Wanted him to cook for her, go to dinner. Alone. Only the two of them. Logistics could be a handful, but Rick would manage to find a place they wouldn't be disturbed. Like tonight, sharing, kissing, having little moments, enjoying each other's company—then—then perhaps…
Perhaps it was the right time. They'd been waiting for a long time. She was making him wait for a long time. Any lesser man would've already burst out and had a confrontation, but not Rick. He just kept her in his arms, all while having an erection and ignoring it. It must be hard for him, very frustrating. Perhaps the way he was yesterday at Deanna's was a result of that, too. Too much unsatisfied sexual tension. It made things harder for him. And he'd only said he feared touching her now—
Well, it seemed he'd at least passed that stage now as his hand curled up around her soft flesh further and cupped her breast softly. It was so nice, his callous yet gentle fingers rubbing. Amanda inched closer to him. She should go, but she really didn't want to. She didn't want to leave the warmth of his arms, the peaceful serenity of the dimly lit room. Even Judith was sleeping in the bed beside them without a sound now, only giving out happy, soft puffs. But…Carl and Beth—
The thought woke her up. She couldn't let Carl sleep in the living room for her, and Beth couldn't stay alone tonight after all the things that happened to them. Their first night. No. Amanda couldn't stay here, enjoying this lavish tranquility while Beth stayed in that room all by herself.
Bracing herself, she gripped the edges of his shoulders, and pushed herself an inch away from his embrace. The chilly air between them hit her, and it felt like something had ripped off her, but she didn't cave in. Beth was alone. "I gotta go." She had to. Rick's calm expression shifted into a half, faint scowl as he gazed at her, those clear gemstone blue eyes staring at her. "Beth—" Amanda spoke quickly in the same quiet tones. "She's alone. I can't leave her alone—" She paused for a breath. "Not tonight. It's our first night," she added.
Understanding dawning in his eyes, Rick nodded slowly. She wanted him to understand. She wasn't leaving him. She would've stayed... Perhaps another time. She wanted to stay a night with him like this. A whole night. Only the two of them like Rick wanted. The thought excited her as much as it scared her, but Amanda wanted it. She wanted to try. Like that day in the woods, she felt it. She wanted to see how much she'd changed.
I wasn't like this, either.
No. She was the one who was gifted fish because they feared she couldn't handle anything more.
The thought—the belittling, mocking words saddened her, but it was no time to dwell on those. Beth needed her. And she wasn't that girl now, she guessed. I've changed.
She was sitting on a man's lap now, wearing a very lavish robe as they only cuddled. A man she'd been refusing to have sex because she was damn scared. The man she was trying to date in the apocalypse—the man who was going to cook for her.
With a sigh, she uncurled herself, and careful not to wake Judith up, she crawled to the foot of the bed and slid down. Rick followed her, like the gentleman he was. He walked her to the door, his hand gently on the small of her back. At the door, they halted before twisting to each other.
Rick leaned in toward her and gave her a chaste kiss, threading his fingers through her hair before he cupped her cheek. They shared another quick kiss, and another, and another…before Rick cracked the door open, but they were still kissing. It was so hard to leave him.
Forcing herself as her lips still lingered over his, Amanda finally stepped aside, pecking him the last time when the door moved. She felt the chill out of the corridor hit her with a shiver. Rick pulled her for one last kiss before he mouthed in her ear. "See me in your dreams."
She softly giggled but gave him another light peck on the lips before twisting around as she slipped out of his arms.
Amanda scurried away from the master bedroom to hers and Beth's in record time. Aside from Beth and Mika, there were only Carol and Joan on their floor, but still she wasn't looking for an audience. Not when she was like this, dressed in a dressing gown, slipping out of Rick's dorm room like some college lovers.
The thought almost made her giggle again. She felt a bit dizzy, even though she didn't have anything to drink. She knew what it was, but she didn't want to think on it right now, either. Not tonight.
She just wanted to go back to her room now, hold Beth, and go to sleep remembering tonight, dreaming how it would be tomorrow night—
Silently, she cracked open their room's door, nudging it slowly, but seeing the scene in front of her, Amanda froze in the doorway once again.
# # #
His hand at his stomach, as the other supported at the back of his neck, Rick stared at the ceiling, feeling the chill of the room without Amanda's warm body snuggled against him. Twisting his head aside, he looked at the spot she'd vacated before he made her straddle him.
The sheets were still shifted where she had been laying, still having her lingering warmth. If he closed his eyes and sniffed deeply, he could still smell her scent in the sheets. She must've taken a shower before, her smell tinted with honey milk etched on it. It was one of the body wash bottles in the shower. Rick had chosen the soap, but Amanda had opted for honey milk fragrance. It suited her. Rick liked it, and he damn missed her even though it wasn't even a minute she'd been gone.
His eyes shifted to her place, and with a sigh, Rick reached out over to the side Carl had left and picked up the book on the bed stand. He couldn't sleep now. Perhaps he would call Carl up from downstairs, but he wasn't particularly in the mood to receive a scowl from his son right now, especially not when he still had a hard-on bulging in his pants.
He would wait for a while, read a little bit, then get Carl back. Reaching over Judith to turn on the bed lamp on the bed stand for reading, Rick ran a finger across his baby girl's tummy before he opened the book. Remember. Run. Survive.
The young adult book was a bestseller, he knew it from Carl earlier, so he hoped the teenagers at least had a sense for good literature. He opened up the cover and started reading the first page before he heard the light footsteps in front of his door. He whipped his head up.
The door opened slowly a second later and Amanda—having a dazzled expression, slipped quietly inside. Rick stared at her.
"Amanda?" he called out. She looked up at him. Panic clutching him, Rick lunged over the bed hurriedly, almost waking up Judy in the meantime. "Wh—what's happened?"
Noticing his panic, Amanda raised her hand. "Nothing. I mean—" She swallowed. "Uh—Carl is with Beth—" she muttered the words, heading towards him, her dazzled expression becoming more lost. "They—they're sleeping. So—uh, I left."
"They're sleeping—" Rick repeated. "Together?"
Somehow the notion…unsettled him. Carl and Beth were friends, but Carl had always had this crush on Beth, which might've turned a bit more…complicated after what had happened to them in the woods.
Amanda nodded absentmindedly. "Yeah. I guess she figured out I was here—so she asked him to come up…" she commented, shaking her shoulders. Rick nodded. "Uh—" She looked at him. "Can—can I stay here tonight?"
Rick shook his head, heaving a sigh. "Do you need to ask?"
She shrugged with one shoulder this time. Rick waved his hand at her as he moved on his knees to the foot of the bed. "Come here—"
With a shy smile, Amanda slowly headed towards him. Straightening fully on his knees as she stood at the edge of the bed, Rick took the robe's belt and started undoing it again. She didn't stop him, but her expression was bearing an uncertain look as Rick slipped the robe off her. "You can't sleep in it—" he reasoned.
Besides, he really wanted to see her in that chemise. He really wanted to.
The sight wasn't disappointing. It was an elegant lingerie like Rick had gotten a peek at, the hem brushing her hips, as above it had a deep cut exposing quite a bit of her bosom, his necklace even more of an open sight, dangling towards between her breasts. The back was open to the small of her back, held only by thin straps crisscrossing her back.
She looked so beautiful, and all the words Rick couldn't manage to think of right now, not when she stood in front of him like this, her head tilted down slightly to look at him. Suppressing a shudder of anticipation, Rick took her hand and brought her back to the bed.
Her eyes darted to Judith for a split second as she crawled on her hands and knees, giving Rick another stir and a renewed hard-on as his eyes caught the thin slip of the thong between her tight, round buttocks. It was torture, seeing her like this—touching, feeling, but not going on forward, but a part of him almost enjoyed it, too. He must've grown into being a masochist.
She settled on his other side again as Rick propelled himself in between Judith and her. They half lay down, resting on the pillows against the headboard. Her eyes picked up the book next to his pillows as Rick scooped her again under his arm.
"Were you reading?" she whispered to him, getting closer to him on her side, her right hand resting on his chest. Rick bobbed his head as his hand slithered downward on its own accord over her curves before it found her ass. The skirt of her chemise already rode up over her hips, and Rick fondled her bare ass, as her breasts, almost bare too, pressed against his chest.
"Wanna read?" Rick asked, tilting his head down. "It's the book you brought for Carl."
Craning her head, Amanda looked up at him, and another soft smile broke over her lips. "Really?"
Rick gave her another little nod as he picked up the book with his free hand and showed it to her. Her smile curved further as she nodded back, somewhat looking pleased, too. "'kay."
She settled herself against him further to see the book, tucking her leg between his. Their entwined bodies felt so good again, even though Rick felt he was wearing way too many clothes for his taste, but he didn't want to disturb Amanda's calmness by taking off his shirt or his pajama bottoms. She didn't look like she was minding being almost naked in his arms, even when his fingers found the thong that slid in between her ass cheeks and started tugging at it absently.
Amanda just kept still; her eyes fixated on the book as her hand started moving over his chest, too. Rick wondered if she was really reading because suddenly the words had stopped registering in his brain.
He tried to turn the page, but raising her hand from his chest, Amanda stopped him. "Shsss. Haven't finished yet." She returned her hand on him again, resting it on his side, then it started moving, too. It crawled towards the edge of his basic tee, and a second later, slipped under his shirt. As she still read, she started gently running her fingers across his bare skin.
Rick all but forgot the book in his hand, forgetting to pretend to read as she stroked his stomach idly. A soft hiss escaped from him as Amanda kept reading. Rick closed his eyes for a second, reveling in being touched that way, affectionate—almost mundane, but still so intimate. He almost threw the book and rolled her under him and started fucking her—no—no—making love to her—smoothly, gently.
He wanted to kiss her deeply, slowly like the first time he did. Wanted to show her how they could do this. The need was like a craving his whole body ached for. It took everything, everything in him not to make the move.
His hand on her ass clenched as his fingertips dug into her tight flesh. Startled, Amanda whipped her head up. She blinked at him, her own hand under his rode up shirt frozen as if she just realized what she was doing.
"Uh—s—sorry—" she murmured in a throaty whisper, pulling her hand away. His hand shooting up from her ass, Rick stopped her.
"No—" he roughed out with difficulty. "'s 'okay—" he muttered. "Keep reading."
She shook her head, her hand staying still. "Uh—let's sleep," she replied, gliding downward. "Tomorrow is gonna be a long day," she remarked, trying to keep her voice casual. "We need to talk with Deanna."
Nodding, Rick closed the book, and twisting aside, straightening up a little to reach to the bed stand, he set it down and turned off the lamp.
The room fell into darkness. Flicking a glance at Judith in the dark, to make sure the baby girl was okay, safely set between the crib and sofa, Rick rolled back to his place. As they lay completely down, he pulled the covers over them. Under the covers, they stirred as they settled themselves into each other's arms awkwardly.
Her hand was still at his side over his shirt as Rick kept his over her ass cuddling her, her chemise completely risen up almost to the small of her back. Her right leg was tucked between his again as she half draped herself over him on her stomach, her arm draped across his middle, her hand resting his other side, and her head at the crook of his neck. Even in the position, she sleekly made herself face the door, but Rick didn't say anything. Amanda never slept with her back to a door, Rick had noticed.
The awkward hesitance became more palpable as they lay in the silent dark, the only sound breaking it was Judith's soft puffs. Rick listened to it as he tried to settle himself down again, trying to relax. His hand began making soft circles around the small of her back and easing downward found the thin, lacy strip of her thong, but Rick only focused on her smooth skin as he stroked her. Again, the gesture calmed him down as he felt the tightness in his stomach started uncoiling.
Amanda's breaths turned steadier, too, but her hand was still dormant. In the dark, Rick stared at the ceiling, wondering if he would get any sleep tonight. It still felt weird, though, the soft mattress, Amanda almost naked in his arms, the lavishly decorated room, his pajama pants… Amanda's silk chemise…
"Carl—" he suddenly broke the silence a few minutes later in a whisper. "Carl told me today that he and Beth smoked."
It felt like he should tell her about it and share something. About family. Their worries. The notion nudged something else in him too—another thought—persistent to get acknowledged, but Rick couldn't deal with it right now, either.
Amanda raised her head, supporting her chin on his chest to look up at him. There was suspicion in her eyes, but Rick knew it wasn't about them this time. "Ron and Clarice gave them—"
She made a face. "I knew those sisters are up to no good—" she whispered, her voice heating. "I knew."
Rick let out a small sigh. "They're teenagers. Curious." He paused. "The world still goes on."
"Well, I don't want Beth to start killing herself slowly with nicotine—" she clipped.
"Me neither," Rick agreed. "I should—uh—stop too. Set up a good example." He let out a soft, low chuckle. "Carl challenged me when I brought it up."
She made another face. "You only smoked…twice." She darted her eyes below, understanding what that meant. Rick only wanted to smoke after sex. He hadn't gotten many chances.
Shooing away the thought, Rick gave her a look, finding her shimmering green eyes in the dark. "Don't make a scene. Carl said he won't do it again. He would talk to her."
Shaking her head, Amanda rested her head back on his chest. "I'm worried about her, Rick," she confessed. "She was sleeping on the floor when I went to the room. Didn't want to sleep in the bed. She'd told me that even in the prison, it took her a month before she started sleeping in the bed again because she was afraid of losing it, and now..." She trailed off, making a low gulping sound. "I made us wear these just to take her mind off. You know—girls prettying up."
Rick nodded, squeezing his fingers as he moved them up over her side. "It's gonna be okay," he rasped in a whisper. "They're gonna be okay." He paused, tilting his head down to give hers a light kiss, pulling her closer. "They need time."
Amanda softly laughed. "Good night, Rick," she replied, resting herself on him further before Rick did the same with another kiss.
His lips touched at her hair lightly as he whispered in her ear. "Good night, baby."
She didn't make a sound, but Rick felt her smile against his skin.