"Welcome back to your final year in the Academy. Physical training will be stressed this year as well as basic ninja skills. We will have three tests over the course of this year. These tests will be on all the basic requirements of genin." Iruka-sensei continued. "First, we will start with the written test and then follow up with the physical tests."
With the help of Mizuki-sensei, the tests were handed out. The tests were a review of last year. Basic Konoha history, Geography, and all the little things taught at the academy.
In this class you have students from every major clan. What are their family jutsu? (10 points)
Name all four Hokages and their most known for characteristics. (8 points)
Your teammate has a kunai injury to the thigh. What do you do? (10 points)
On the map below, label all the parts using the word bank at the bottom. (15 points)
Overall, it wasn't a test that was too difficult. Just pay attention in class and you'll be fine. Review tests like this are designed for the teacher to get a good sense on what needs to be worked on. What made this test difficult was the time limit. If you didn't know it the instant you looked at the question, you weren't given time to think it over. Thirty questions in thirty minutes.
Not that difficult but when the question like the kunai injury question is there, the answer must be detailed and complete. "Put pressure and wrap it up" is not a good enough answer. You need to write down everything. How deep is the kunai wound, if it is deep what will that do? Does that effect the ninjas ability to run? Tree jumping? Will it be worth it to carry the ninja to the next resting point rather than a slower pace with an injury?
"Pencils down."
I deeply exhaled. I wasn't trying or anything. I did know the answer to most of the questions but I wanted to have some fun. Characteristic of Minato Namikaze, wanting to have two children but ended up with three. Oh yes, I like to have lots of fun. Uzumaki clan characteristic, being a two-faced clan that preaches about family.
"Last person in the row, collect the tests and bring them to the front."
But now, oh yes now. This is where the fun begins. You see, those were answers I wrote in the past. Now, no no no no no. Now, my hand writing was suddenly a whole lot worse. And I had misspelled my first name. I could have sworn I had written Naruto Namikaze, why was it written as Menma Namikaze. And the answers, well they were mostly correct. But not perfect anymore. Yup. This whole year, I am going to completely destroy his "Rookie of the Year" status. Now, I'm sure Iruka would notice two Menma tests but that is where my seating placement comes into play. Same row as Menma, and all the way at the back.
Being close to last in placement, well if I just skip a bunch of questions, Iruka-sensei won't bat an eye if I have leave completely blank questions. My storage sleeve on my right arm will hide all of Menma's tests. Little switch-er-o and seal Menma's real test with my fake one. I'll get a binder and laminate them all. Graduation present from his dear brother.
"Now that tests are collected, lets head outside and begin the physical portion."
We headed to the side door of the Academy. The outdoors had a little bit of everything. A track for long distance running to work on stamina. There was an obstacle course with bars and ropes to navigate. Training dummies to practice kicks on. But, this time it was set up with targets for kunai and shuriken throwing. The chalk lines were usually set up for the track, was now a sparring area.
"First, we will begin with a ninja tool throwing proficiency test, next we will have a sparring tournament. Ten students per target, you get five kunai throws and then five shuriken throws. Points are awarded to being in the yellow circle with double points for those in the red bullseye."
Being in the same column as Menma in the classroom, we were both in the same group for this exercise. He elected to go first.
First kunai. Center. Second kunai. Center. Third, fourth, center. Fifth. Yellow.
"Damnit." He cursed under his breath.
I was only passively paying attention after that. Left some points on the board, easy way to capitalize. I was wondering how Sasuke was doing. He was in the same group as Naruko and she was up first as well. She got perfect with both, looked over to Menma and he was off the red with two shuriken and one kunai.
Left a couple more points. Perfect.
Sasuke and I were next for our respective groups. I usually liked making shapes with the kunai and trying to get insane arcs with the shuriken. Watching other students duck for cover never got old. But not this time. Nope. In a direct competition with Menma, heh. Bastard's going down today.
I grabbed the kunai from the basket and put them between my fingers. Shurikens in my pockets waiting to be thrown. Cleared my mind. Just by myself in the training grounds. No students. No Menma. No Iruka-sensei. Just me and a training target twenty paces away. Kunai in between my fingers. Three in my right hand and two in my left.
Fling. Thunk.
My hands went into my pockets. Quickly I drew up the shuriken in a similar manner. Three in my right hand and two in my left. A quick flick of my wrist and they were released towards the target.
Ten ninja tools thrown, ten red bullseye hits. Sasuke had just finished throwing his third kunai by the time I had thrown all of mine. Nobody in the other groups was really paying attention. All concentrating on their own tests and not bothering to watch the fool. Maybe for the shuriken throw because they might think it would head to them. Nothing until Sasuke had said "I thought you were waiting until the final."
"Plans changed." I whispered back.
Iruka-sensei on the other hand was ecstatic. "Well done Naruto! Looks like you practiced hard over the break. And all done within five seconds of the first throw. I think bonus points for time should be awarded."
Menma was furious. Here his good for nothing brother just completely showed him up. I didn't hear much of what he whispered but I heard a "... wait. I'll show you."
How cute. Little tiger there is having some trouble being shown up. I smirked. That got him further riled up.
"You better hope we're not fighting against each other in the spar." Menma sneered.
I still had the smirk on my face. "Heh." This is sooooo worth it on so many levels. This year is going to be fun!
The other people had started throwing and by mid-morning the spars were going to start.
"For this, sparring partners will be separated by gender and by class rank. We will have a tournament style with the first and last going against each other and then the second and second to last fighting and so on. Points will be..."
I tuned Iruka out as I was trying to make sense of this system. Well, although I am not complaining because I will be going against Menma, that is without a doubt the dumbest way to do things. So what, Naruko is going to fight Ami? In what planet could Ami actually win?
"First up will be Naruko versus Ami. Enter the circle and make the hand seal."
The fight was literally over once the hand seal had been made. Ami wasn't going to stand a chance and quickly forfeited.
"Ami, you still could have received points by attempting like I explained earlier. But okay, that will be a zero for you. Next will be Naruto and Menma. Enter the circle."
"Time to remember your place dead last." Menma tried to irk me.
"K."
I went to put my hand in the half seal to start and Menma mirrored my action.
"Ready? Start!" Iruka hadn't even finished 'start' and Menma was coming right at me. He had a tendency to start with a right punch and I adopted a stance to counter it.
He is predictable when angry. Here comes that right hook.
I countered with my left hand to go wide and grabbled his left arm with my right hand.
Perfect. I had him in a bit of a lock and raised my left foot and encased it in a bit of chakra. I slammed it down onto his.
Menma let out a strained shout as he pulled his foot quickly back.
"Naruto! No fighting dirty! Spar is over. Menma, head—"
"No sensei, I can continue." Menma interrupted.
No fighting dirty. Ridiculous.
"Ok Menma-kun. But both of you remember, this is a spar amongst comrades." Iruka-sensei reminded.
"So, that's how it's going to be brother? Fine then, your choice."
He came back at me with a bit of a limp in his left foot. He went for a right kick to my stomach and I put my hands up to block. He spun and went then for a sweep with his left foot. Jumping is not recommended. Leaving the ground this close to an enemy is not advised. Out of instinct I once again encased my left foot in chakra which stopped his sweep dead in its tracks. My left elbow came right down onto his exposed ankle.
Another pained yelp from my brother. Still easy to enrage.
I backed away quickly from his attempted reprisal swing.
"Oh dear, that looked painful. Are you able to continue?" I mocked. Although I wanted to think this was payback for what he did just a few nights ago. It wasn't. This was years in the making.
"Of course I can continue! I haven't even begun yet." His eyes, they were starting to get a bit more of an amber hue. He took off at me once again. No limp this time, and a lot faster. Crap, not enough time to react.
Menma grabbed me by collar and head butted me. Dazed, he tossed me back in the center.
"That's enough Menma, this fight has gone too long!" Iruka tried to intervene but Menma didn't hear.
Still in a bit of a daze, I reacted just in time to miss a vicious drop kick to my head.
Damn, he is really trying now. His eyes are now completely red with slits. Oh shit. He's drawing on the fox's chakra.
I went for a heal kick to his face. It did not connect but he was still forced to dodge backwards. I propelled myself up with my hands and went for a series of body kicks. The first one connected. I was thrown the opposite way because of momentum. I gathered myself and charged before he could recover. More punches to his stomach. My knuckles were starting to burn. Huh? On the last punch, Menma grabbed my wrist.
I shouted in pain. It felt like I was touching a hot pan on the stove. He then wrapped his arms around me. The pain in my wrist spread to my whole body. Last thing I remembered was being hugged upside down and being forced to the ground.
I am lying on my back when I woke up. I was in some sort of liquid. Maybe it was some sort of healing thing because of the burns I received.
"I knew he was quick to anger but that was...that was..." I trailed off. I had known that they were training with the Nine tails chakra, that was the excuses Kushina had stuck to after I started the Academy. 'Too dangerous', which I certainly did believe, but like...they both knew the shadow clone jutsu. Couldn't even spare a clone. I had hoped that perhaps, just maybe, slightly, that Kushina and Minato laid out some basic guidelines on their training. Like maybe, just maybe for instance not using it on your comrades.
Which led to a bit of a darker aspect, perhaps Menma didn't consider me even that. Iruka reminded us.
I finally opened my eyes. I was never in a hospital room but I thought they would be white and smell like sanitation. Instead, I was lying in some standing water. My pain was also completely gone. I stood up.
"This is certainly not a hospital. Looks more like a sewer." Pipes along the walls and on the ceiling. I am at a total lost here but there is a hallway going to some sort of orange light.
"Oh this better not think what I think it is." It just made no sense whatsoever.
I walked down the hallway. It led to a room about the size of the Academy's gym. It was so dark that I couldn't see the other side. Just a massive gate with bars. Smack dab right in the center was a piece of paper with the single kanji on it. It said "SEAL"
"What. The. Fuck."
This can't be possible. I must be in some sort of genjutsu or some Freaky Friday shit where I am switched Menma. No, I can't have anything of the Nine tails in me. Light and Dark chakra types. That's the most. Two. Sure, I could be like those gold and silver brother ninjas that had its chakra too, but huh? How come I never noticed. Not only that, but how could Minato not have noticed.
"Oh my oh my, the jailor has come to visit his prisoner."
Okay, sweet voice. I was not expecting that. What the fuck is going on here?!
Out of the darkness came something I was still not expecting. Piercing red eyes, much like the ones Menma recently had. Dark lines on her cheeks but I wasn't looking at that right now. No.
She had some huge boobs.
I mean some serious honkers.
A real set of badonkers.
Packin some dobonhonkeros.
Massive dohoonkabhankoloos.
Big old tonhongerekoogers.
"Oh ho ho ho. Fox got your tongue. Can't take your eyes off me? ~~"
Oh god I'm going to be sick. I collapsed onto my knees.
"Oh ho ho ho ho.~~ Already on your knees. ~~ I like that."
I started to dry heave. "Please, just change back to your fox form or whatever." She even had that stereotypical anime girl posh laugh. All that was left was-
"Ara Ara."
There it was. Fuck me.
"That's not my fetish. Please...just...what the hell are you doing here?"
"What do you mean?" She added a head tilt and put a finger tip on her chin. "I've always been here."
Her tone became a bit more serious. "You should thank your brother for that you finally get to meet me. Been lonely here all this time." She finished with a pout.
And all her seriousness was gone when she stretched and raised her hands up above her head and stretched out all nine of her tails. Such a tease.
"Trapped in here with nothing to do. Then your brother goes and shocks your chakra network with my chakra."
"But, like. What are you even doing here?"
"You're still hung up on that. Your siblings got my yin and yang portions of chakra, you received my consciousness."
"THAT'S NOT HOW CHAKRA WORKS!" I shouted back. "Yin and Yang. Light and Darkness. That's it. None of this bullshit of, 'I sealed the two halves of eight tails worth of chakra in them and one tails worth of chakra in you with the soul.' What a load of fucking bullshit." I am heavily breathing now. Just this doesn't make any sense. Trying to wrap my brain around this is just. No, I can't understand this.
I continued. "Chakra is the combination of spiritual and physical energy. We learned this in the Academy. Specifically, it's the combination of both those things. If you completely separate the spiritual energy, then it can't BE chakra anymore!"
My mind was going to get an aneurism if I thought about this anymore.
"We're balls of chakra given life from the sage, dear. They got the chakra; you got the life."
"Oh fuck off Kurama."
"HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT NAME!"
Finally.
She turned back to a big orange fuzzball. A proper nine tailed fox with rabbit ears. Its face was against the bars and the whole place vibrated at the sound reverberating off the walls. A small wave was kicked up in the water.
I just looked indifferent. "Believe it or not. It was in a book. You mentioned the sage. I assumed you meant the legend of the 'Sage of Six Paths.' Talked about nine beasts. Figured they were you lot."
"hehe he he HE HA HA." It started laughing. "Not every day a pitiful little human gets the better of me. I've watched you for the past eleven years boy. Watching you struggle against everything. Waiting for you to use my chakra. Realized you didn't even know I was with you." It paused.
"But now you do. And such a clever little kit."
Oh god I threw up in my mouth a little bit.
"Now it's time you leave this place. I'll see you later." It turned back around and was about to head back to the darkness.
"NO!" It stopped and looked back over to me.
"I'm not finished with you yet."
"Dear boy, do you really think you can order around little ole me.~" And back to the form with humungous hungolomghnonoloughongous.
"You ever call me 'kit' again, and you will regret it."
Laughing, she replied, "I seriously~ doubt you can do anything -"
Lets see, how did it begin again?
I interrupted her, "Ah, that's right.
Dog goes woof, cat goes meow—"
"It goes nyan." She interjected.
"Bird goes tweet and mouse goes squeak.
"Cow goes moo, frog goes croak, and the elephant goes toot"
"Is there a point to this or not?" She was starting to get impatient.
"Duck say quack...and fish go bluuuub...and the seal goes ow ow ow.
"But there's one sound. That no one knows. WHAT DOES THE FOX SAY?
"Ring-ding-ding-ding dingeringeding.
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding.
Gering-ding-ding-ding-dingeringeding!
What does the fox say?
"Wa pa pa pa pa pa pow!
Wa pa pa pa pa pa pow!
Wa pa pa pa pa pa pow!
Wa pa pa pa pa pa pow!
What does the fox say?"
This was my mind wasn't it? I had changed into a comedic fox pajama set and was jumping up and down and dancing like an idiot.
"Okay okay, stop stop stop." She covered her ears and closed her eyes.
"Every time you call me kit, I will sing that song in my head for ten minutes."
"I get it, I get it. Just get out of that abomination." She was pointing at my pajamas.
"Ohh, you don't like this either? Heh, well then. I'll get out of this if you get out of that form."
"Clever boy." She changed back into the fuzzball form. "I'd lie if I said I wasn't curious."
Taking the bait, I replied "Curious about what?"
"If you were to use the summon jutsu, I'm sure a fox would appear. Not every day a little ki-, human. Human like you gets to outwit me."
The edges of my vision were becoming fuzzy.
"Now, begone."
My vision was slowly returning to me. I saw some red hair. Not too many people with red hair in the village. Two of them don't like me so it's probably—
"About time you finally woke up."
Yup. Karin. Only semi-conscious she continued.
"Seriously, first degree burns along your back and torso with second degree burns along your left wrist. Officially it was because of a wayward Fire jutsu from the second sparring court."
Huh? There was only one sparring area laid out. Wait, hold up, Fire jutsu?
"Strange for fire jutsu burns to be like this though."
So Menma is going to get let off the hook.
"Come on, I know you can hear me, what actually happened."
Still lying down, I could feel the gauze around my left wrist and arm. I had some sort of balm applied to my back and I was on my stomach.
"Menma happened."
She sighed.
Karin was with the family for a little bit when I was around four and a half. Jiraiya came back from the Land of Grass with a little red head on his shoulders. Kushina was explosively excited that there were more Uzumaki out there. However, Karin was a lot like me. Cautious and nervous. Not a good personality match for Karin. Not to mention Kushina wanted to be like a mom to Karin.
Honestly, the girl just separated from her birth mother that has been her only family. First thing you do is introduce yourself and have her call you mom.
She lasted barely a week. Was put in a share house near the hospital where she would work a day a week and study to become a medical ninja. Never did go to the Academy. Strange.
"Not surprising. Being the Hokage's favorite has a bit of pull. Not even a slap on the wrist. Though, yours is sprained as well as being burned. Must have an iron grip." She moved her glasses higher on the bridge of her nose.
"Well, get used to it. I'm not going to back down. It's his time to go down a peg or two."
"About time you show some of that Uzumaki determination. Don't have the absurd healing of Naruko but you shouldn't have any scars."
"Just a crutch." I retorted. Healing factors, so common it was almost a requirement for heroes.
"A very helpful one. Now come on, you want to get out of here quickly right?"
I nodded. Hospitals aren't very fun, especially when you're lying on your stomach. She held out her for arm in front of my mouth.
"Bite it."
"That's not my fetish." I instantly got a smack to the back of the head. "Ow. Doctors aren't supposed to hurt their patients."
"I'm not a doctor, I'm a part timer. My chakra can heal people through biting. Just do it or next slap will be on your back."
I bit down. Hard. Instant slap on my back.
"Bastard...not that hard."
I smirked...and let up a little bit. Damn. This felt good. My whole body shuddered a little bit. All the pain started to subside. Felt a some breathing on my ear.
"Feels good doesn't it." What is it with all this teasing.
"Don't get used to it though. I saw what the shinobi did to my mother before I was taken by Jiraiya. She'd come home with bite marks all over. Found out I did something similar. Don't tell anymore please, it's just to help you out."
"Thanks Karin. I appreciate it. Secret's safe with me."
She started peeling back the gauze on my back. It was healing nicely.
"Although, I may need some more of that help in the future. I have a feeling that Menma is going to lose control in a lot more of our spars."
"Just don't get knocked out too. Don't want that big brain of yours getting a concussion before you're a ninja. I'll get the nurse to discharge you."