Winter vacation came quickly and Marinette, even though she had told Chat she would deal with Luka, still had not. In her defense, Hawkmoth had been relentless, throwing akuma after Akuma day after day. She and ChatNoir had been injured three more times and it was beginning to really get to her. There wasn't much of a risk before, she knew she could throw herself into danger without any major consequences but now, now she had to be more careful.

She was working up the courage to finally text him. Her hands were shaky as she stared at Luka's contact rereading her message. It was simple, 'hey, can we talk soon.' Why was this so hard?

"Tikki I can't do it."

"Don't worry Marinette. I can do this." Tikki's small paw smacked into the send button and Marinette squawked in disbelief.

"Tikki!"

"I'm sorry Marinette! You just seemed like you needed that extra push!"

Marinette saw the text bubble start to flash and she screamed, throwing the phone away from her.

"Here you go Marinette!" Pollen floated over carrying her phone. "I think you dropped this!"

She groaned accepting the phone back. "Thanks pollen."

"What did he say?" Tikki asked, and pollen looked on curiously.

"He said he can meet me now…he's back in town for the holidays. He wants to meet at that new cafe that opened up a few blocks over."

"Well then good! You'll get to talk it out!"

Marinette took forever deciding what she wanted to wear and how to do her hair. She knew she was stalling but she couldn't bring herself to leave her house. Luka was definitely almost there and she hadn't even left yet. She took a deep breath clutching her purse. She calmed herself down, envisioning ChatNoir giving her a comforting hug before she finally forced her way out the door. The walk to the cafe went much faster than she wanted it to, she would've rather had to wait at every crosswalk but lucky her, she made every light.

She spotted Luka sitting outside, sipping on a beer. She felt her heart lurch and she wanted to hug him. She missed his comfort. It had been nearly two months since she'd looked at him. "Hey." She greeted, moving to sit across from him. He smiled kindly at her, straightening his posture.

"Hi Marinette. You look good."

"Thanks you do too." Her palms were starting to sweat and her tongue felt fat. What was she supposed to say to him?

"So you wanted to talk?"

"I did- er do."

"So let's talk." She stared at him, no words escaping from her mouth. She felt like she was going to start crying if she even spoke one word. He chuckled softly and reached across the table taking her hand gently in his. "It's ok Marinette. Take your time, it's just me ok? No need to feel nervous or anxious." It was just Luka, but maybe that made it worse.

"I'm not over Adrien." He nodded as though he had already figured that out. "And I don't think I ever was. It's not very fair to you or to me, to string out our relationship hoping that my feelings for him will fade. I want you to find someone who can love you with their whole heart, and know that you're the one for them. I love you Luka, but I think I love you just as a friend."

He sighed, though a smile was still on his face. "I knew this was coming for a while if I'm being honest."

"You did?"

"It's been two months since I said think it over." He laughed. "I knew we weren't getting back together, I just wanted to give you the time to come to that same conclusion on your own." She felt her heart ache for him.

"I'm sorry Luka."

"Me too. But, you can't exactly control who you fall in love with right?"

"Right."

"So, are you going to pursue Adrien?"

She shook her head smiling at the waiter who placed a vanilla latte in front of her. Luka must have ordered her her favorite. He truly was an amazing guy. "Thank you." She said to Luka, taking a sip of it. "But uhm no. I'm really going to just spend the rest of the year focusing on myself and graduation. I think I need some time to not be actively hoping for love."

"That's a good idea, it's important to focus on yourself sometimes."

"Yeah, so…" she trailed off. "What're you up to?"

"Me? I'm just hanging out you know. My bands been getting more recognition so hopefully more gigs will be in my future."

"That's great! I'm really happy for you!"

"Yeah I've been pretty busy. Oh my god remember that professor I was telling you about?"

"The one who always takes his shoes off and walks around the room barefoot?"

"Yes! Well I don't know what's wrong with his feet now but he's been scratching them on the carpet and it is the nastiest thing I've ever seen."

Marinette covered her mouth to stop from spitting out the latte in her mouth from her laughter. This felt normal again, maybe her and Luka could really be friends. She was sure it would take some time, but maybe things could go back to how they were.The two left the cafe about an hour in and decided to walk around and catch up. By the time Marinette was leaving it was dark and Luka offered to drive her home on his new motorcycle. It was definitely a step up from the bike. She clutched him tightly taking in the moment, holding him close felt normal. Not romantic, just fun, like it would if her and Alya had been on the motorcycle. And maybe that's how her and Luka were meant to be. She thanked him for the ride and he grabbed her hand before she could walk away.

"C'mere." She fell into his embrace, hugging him tightly. "Bye Marinette." She pulled away handing him back his helmet.

"Bye Luka."

Her parents were asleep and the bakery was dark. She closed the door as quietly as she could, making her way up to her bedroom. Her heart felt light and for the first time in a while, even with all of the evil HawkMoth brought, she felt better. However she nearly screamed when she spotted ChatNoir sitting on her bed. "Chat!" She scolded. "You nearly gave me a heart attack." She was excited to see him though. The design he told her to submit, although it hadn't won, had made it to the finals and she couldn't wait to tell him. He looked up at her with a frown.

"It's late."

"It is, I was out."

"I saw. You and Luka look like you made up." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Are you guys back together now?"

"What? No! No, we just were catching up."

"I saw you two in town today. You seemed rather close." Marinette stared at him, mouth agape.

"Chat, nothing was going on. I was just catching up- wait a second. Are you jealous." She stifled a laugh looking at him. He stood up moving closer to her and her laughter slowly faded out.

"That was one heartfelt hug he gave you when you two got here."

"Were you spying on us?" She asked in disbelief.

"I wasn't spying. I just happened to get here at that time."

"ChatNoir are you jealous?" She asked again, more serious this time.

He backed up until her back pressed into the wall and he lifted an arm placing it on the side of her head. "And what if I am? What would you say then?"

She spluttered, face bright red. "W-well then I'd say you have absolutely no reason to be jealous of Luka."

"I could think of some reasons." He whispered, and Marinette felt her knees shake.

"L-like what?"

"Like how he got to spend all evening with you in public. Not stuck up in your bedroom, hidden from the world." He paused lifting his other hand to brush his fingers along her cheek. "Or how he got to see you with your hair curled and wearing this cute sweater dress," His hands slowly brushed downwards towards her jaw. "And how he's gotten to kiss you." She was frozen, watching him with wide eyes. "Just tell me to stop." He whispered, cupping her face and leaning in pressing his lips to hers. He felt lightning jolt through her body the moment he touched her. She gently brought her hands up from pressing his chest back to wrapping around his neck.

ChatNoir took that opportunity to deepen the kiss, moving his hands down her arms and finally to her hips, lifting her and holding her up by her thighs. Marinette had no idea what to think, her brain was not working. She had just formally broken up with one guy because she had feelings for another, and here she was kissing a whole other man.

ChatNoir pulled back, both of them panting as they stared at each other. "You didn't stop me."

"I didn't."

"I'm sorry." He apologized, still holding her up. She shook her head, dropping her forehead on his.

"Don't apologize."

"I know you said you wanted to focus on yourself but...but I can't get you out of my head Marinette. You're the girl I think about when I'm kissing my girlfriend. You're the girl I'm wishing she is when I'm going out with her." She stared at him in shock.

"I don't know what to say."

"You don't have to say anything." He sighed, gently putting her down, though his hands slid upwards to hold her arms.. "I just wanted to tell you. I know you still have feelings for…for bob." Marinette frowned. She thought about kissing Adrien and stared at ChatNoir.

"I'm in love with Adrien Agreste." ChatNoirs head shot up to look at her. "I've been in love with Adrien since I was 13. But he's never looked at me as anything more than just his good friend. I'm always too nervous to hang out or even to just talk to him. Those nerves I feel with him, I feel with you too but with you...I don't know. I feel like I can relax around you." ChatNoir hadn't stopped staring at her, his eyebrows furrowed as though he were trying to make sense of her words. "Chat?"

"I have to go."

"Wait what?!" He moved so quickly Marinette barely even got to move before he was out of the window. She ran to the window heart hammering in her chest. "ChatNoir!" She screamed after him, but he kept going. Marinette clenched her fists, tears filling her eyes and she finally broke down. She dropped to her knees and sobbed into her hands. What had just happened?"

~

Christmas came much too fast, and she threw herself into her designs. ChatNoir hadn't come to visit since that night a week and a half ago, and his present sat sadly on her desk. She still had no idea what had even happened there. How on Earth had things gone so badly so quickly. It was almost exactly like when her and Luka had broken up. Why did she mess up everything that had to do with her heart.

"Marinette? Brighten up baby it's Christmas." Her mother smiled, pinching her cheek.

"Thanks mom. I'm fine." She would have to make sure to see her friends and give them their presents but other than that, she had remained stuck in her bedroom. How had ChatNoir just left her, right after spilling her feelings to him. He had told her she'd have him, she'd always have him. She wanted to hit him but she also wanted to hug him. But mostly, she wanted to cry some more.

The times she had seen him as ladybug since then he had done the job and run off as fast as he had come. Her heart was really starting to ache for him. She wanted him to hug her and tell her that everything would be alright. She was terrified. Terrified that hawkmoth would end up really hurting one of them, terrified that she would mess up as the guardian, terrified that she had completely ruined her relationship with ChatNoir.

Marinette for the first time since she had taken the job regretted saying yes. Her life could be normal, boy troubles could be the most of her worries but if she let herself get too crazy she was going to end up Akumatized.

The thought of that happening was both terrifying and sad. Sad because it was a possibility and that would make her so much more of a failure than she already was.

She made her way back to her bedroom after breakfast. Once her grandmother and grandfather got here they would be opening presents. Until then she needed a moment alone. She needed all day alone honestly, but her mother wouldn't have that so, a moment would have to do.

"'Marinette. We are all worried for you." Wayzz said, moving over to her. He floated above her accompanied by trixx Tikki and pollen, a frown on their faces.

"I'm fine guys."

"It's ok to not be ok Marinette. You have to remember that. You're only human." Tikki spoke softly.

"I'm not 'only human' Tikki. I'm ladybug! I can't afford to be upset or confused. One wrong step, one wrong move and I'm dead. Or even worse, ChatNoir could pay for my actions. I have so much more on my plate than someone who's 'just human'!" She was being unfair, she knew that. The Kwamis were only trying to make her feel better but it was true. She had more at stake than anyone else.

Tikki frowned, but she wasn't hurt. Marinette was going through a lot and Tikki, as old and wise as she was, knew not to take it personally.

"Listen girl. We just want what's best for you and everyone else!" Trixx said, crossing her arms. "And maybe it's best to take a break."

"A break?" She stared at trixx.

"Yeah, maybe it's time you entrust the other miraculous holders with their miraculous. Permanently." Wayzz suggested. Marinette hadn't thought of that. If she gave the turtle, fox, snake and dragon miraculous holders theirs maybe that could lighten the load.

"No." She shook her head. "No I can't afford to be giving out miraculous like that. God forbid one of them loses one. Not to mention that's a lot more people I'm burdening with the safety of Paris. Now more than ever, what if they got hurt or killed because I gave them a miraculous. No way." As nice as it would be to have other people to rely on. This was not a school project where she could easily divide the work, she couldn't lean on other people with the weight she'd need to.

Wayzz nodded, understanding her reasoning.

"That makes sense. It hurts us to watch you suffer so much Marinette." Pollen frowned.

"Don't worry guys, I'm a lot stronger than I seem."

"We know Marinette. None of us doubt that, especially me." Tikki snuggled onto her to give her a hug. "We just want to make sure you're doing ok mentally."

"I'll be fine. I need to get more serious though. I need to figure out who Hawkmoth is. And I think...I think I need ChatNoirs help for that. I think I'm going to tell him who I am."

"If that's what you think is best Marinette...then we'll be there with you."

"I just need to figure out how to get to him. He's been avoiding me since…"

"Since you kissed?" Tikki added unhelpfully. Marinette pushed her away groaning.

"Yes since we kissed. What the heck could I have done to make him freak out like that?"

The Kwamis all shrugged. "Humans are weird." Pollen sighed floating back to the box.

"Marinette! Your grandparents are here! We're opening presents."

Marinette sighed and stood up. "Well I guess that's a problem for another day. Wish me luck guys."

"Good luck!" They called and Marinette trudged her way down the stairs.

Marinette's grandparents were happy to see her, and she was equally as happy to have her family around.

"So Marinette." Her grandmother started, once the presents had been opened. "How's school going?"

"Good! I actually submitted a piece for Gabriel Agreste's fashion show this winter. I didn't make it in but I did make it to the finals which means although my piece won't be showcased in the actual show it will be in the magazines. I actually had some help deciding which one to submit, but uh I haven't seen him in a bit."

"That's really exciting!" Her grandmother cheered, but Marinette felt anything but cheery. The only person she really wanted to tell was ChatNoir. She tugged her knees to her chest watching her family open their presents when there was a knock at the door. She let her mother go open it not bothering to look. After all it was probably just some carolers.

"Marinette!" She sat up, turning to look at the front door. She nearly shot out of her seat when she noticed a group of her classmates waiting at the door. She scrambled to get up off the couch and move to the front door.

"What are you guys doing here?" She asked in disbelief.

"None of us have heard from you all break girl!" Alya said, putting her hands on her hips.

"And so we were all worried about you!" Rose added.

"So we wanted to make sure you were ok." Marinette smiled at Alix, wanting to just hug all of her friends.

"And we all brought you something to cheer you up." She looked up, heart skipping a beat when Adrien stepped into view holding a box. "Merry Christmas Marinette." She gingerly accepted the box from his hands, blinking rapidly. Wow had she missed her friends.

"Th-thanks you guys. You didn't have to do all of this."

"Oh nonsense, we love you!" Rose squealed moving in for a tight hug. Marinette smiled warmly returning the hug with her free arm.

"Well come on in you guys." Marinette said pushing open the door further. "My dad made gingerbread cookies."

The girls made themselves comfortable at the table digging in to the cookies but Adrien hovered around the front door. Marinette moved over to ask him if he was alright but he beat her to it.

"Can we talk Marinette?"

"Y-yeah! I mean yes sure what's up?"

"No like uhm." He paused scratching his head. "In private." Marinette stared at him wide eyed.

"Ok, ok yeah let's go outside." She followed him out the front door, heart hammering in her chest.

What could Adrien possibly have to talk to her about?