Belle walked along the docks, listening to the clang of ropes against ship masts. She couldn't help thinking back to the first time she'd approached the docks, to the apprehension she'd felt approaching Hook's ship for the first time. The day had been much the same - bright blue sky merging beautifully with the sea far out on the horizon - and the same pit of nervousness had occupied her gut. Last time, though, she'd known what to expect if she met Hook. This time? She could only hope he wouldn't be too angry, even though he had every right to be furious.

She almost turned around right then, fleeing back whence she came until even the thought of a conversation was a mere memory, but she stopped herself, putting one foot in front of the other in a plodding attempt to keep moving. Every step she took seemed loud against the dock, even as her heart pounding in her ears seemed to drown out all other sounds. For once, her heels were actually giving her trouble - her legs were shaking too much to hold her weight consistently - so she eventually did stop, pulling them off with a sigh and relishing in the rough feel of wood beneath her feet.

Belle closed her eyes, allowing her head to fall back as she took a deep breath. The anxiety still keeping her stomach in knots relaxed slightly, temporarily freeing her from her worries as she inhaled softly. It was early in the morning, so no one - save Hook, she hoped - was on the dock. The only sound filling the air was that of the ocean, which simultaneously gave off the smell of salt and the sound of water lapping gently against wood. It was picturesque, especially if she closed her eyes, blocking out her thoughts, forgetting why she was at the docks in the first place.

Her peaceful reverie was shattered completely by the chiming of the clock tower, booming out the early hour - and, oh, dear, that was a very early hour - loudly enough to carry all the way out to the docks. Belle's eyes shot open, revealing the various ships moored at the docks, and she allowed herself a mournful sigh before she shook her head, pulling herself back to reality and moving resolutely forward.

Belle let out a light chuckle as she came upon the section of the dock at which the Jolly Roger was usually situated. The similarities between her first time at the docks and her current trip continued; the ship was once again missing. Then, though, it had merely been hidden, Cora's cloaking spell keeping it from view. Now, it was gone for good, traded away to bring back the Savior.

Once again pushing away the ever-building sense of deja vu, Belle kept walking, glad when she finally caught sight of the picnic tables occupying one end of the dock. Hook lay on the seat of one of the tables, his old greatcoat wrapped around him as a makeshift blanket. The position didn't look particularly comfortable - sleeping with naught but a shirt rolled under one's head was hardly the best way to get some sleep - but he was sleeping soundly enough that her own footsteps barely caused him to stir. She walked closer, finally stopping about five feet away and making the decision to put off the encounter for another day.

Just as she made to leave, he shifted more heavily, and she watched as he opened his eyes. She tightened her hands into fists, feeling her nails carve perfect half-moon indentations into the soft, book-worn flesh of her hands. Part of her wanted to speak out and part of her wanted to flee, but she stayed paralyzed instead, unsure of quite what to do.

Less then a few seconds passed before he noticed her, but it still felt like an eternity to her as she stood there. When he did look over at her, the world seemed to still; the sound of the waves below and the seagulls overhead fell away as she tightened her fists further, tensing to run as she watched his face intently. A brief expression of surprise - quickly followed by one of pain and guilt - flitted across his face as his eyes met hers, but it was immediately replaced with a soft, genuine smile.

Slowly, he extricated himself from the coat, laying it gently on the table as he stood and faced her. He was still smiling, though Belle could have sworn that he looked almost nervous - that couldn't be right, surely? - as he did so. "Belle…" He trailed off as soon as he'd begun, hand darting to his ear.

Belle scanned his face again, looking for any trace of anger and finding none. She smiled - small and embarrassed, but more genuine than anything else she'd done for the past few days - and stepped forward, decreasing the distance between them to something more comfortable and conversational than the gulf separating them before. Were it not for the relief coursing through her body as a modicum of the tension drained from her, she might've laughed at the symbolism of the gesture.

Still, just because he wasn't angry didn't mean he wanted to see her, so she forced herself to speak. "I know you probably don't want to see me right now, and I completely understand, but I wanted to say-"

He interrupted her hastily, confusion written plainly across his features. "Pardon the interruption, but I'm afraid I must ask… what's this nonsense about not wanting to see you?"

Belle swallowed, lowering her eyes so she didn't have to see his staring back at her. "Well, I mean… With what Rumple did… I figured… Well, you hadn't been near the shop or the library lately… And I hadn't seen you around town… It seemed to me that I should probably… stay away, a- a- and not dredge up bad memories." She was aware that her words were coming in fits and starts, her normally thick accent worsening as she stumbled over her words. She almost didn't look up, but she eventually did, half-wincing as she shifted.

He still looked confused, but his eyes scanned her face and she felt as though she could actually see him read what she was trying to say from the expression on her face. He smiled a gentle smile and shook his head softly. "What the Cro-" He broke off, swallowing heavily before continuing. "What Rumplestiltskin did was not your fault, Belle." She felt herself tear up at the combination of his words and the fact that he'd dropped the nickname in what, she was sure, was an effort to make her feel better.

He looked like he was going to continue, but she couldn't - literally, couldn't - stay quiet. "How can you say that? I should have known! I should have done something!" Once again, he made to speak, but she interrupted. "And… and… It's just as much my fault as it was his, and I wanted to come and talk to you, and say I was sorry." She almost winced at the run-on sentence - that many conjunctions strung together? - but she stayed as stoic as she could, ignoring the fact that tears were now running liberally down her face.

Hook rifled through his coat, removing a scrap of cloth and handing it to her to catch her tears as he gestured for them to sit on his make-shift bed. He straddled the bench as he sat, twisting to look at her. "Belle, I haven't been in the shop or at the library lately because I thought you wouldn't want to see me."

Belle let out a watery scoff at that. "And why would that be?" Her voice was thick, and she cleared her throat in an attempt to fix it.

This time, it was Hook who looked away. "You forget… it's just as much my fault as it is Rumplestiltskin's, and it's far more his and my fault than it is yours."

"Hook-"

He interrupted, raising his hand without looking over at her. "Killian, if you please."

Belle nodded in acquiescence. "Killian." She swallowed again before continuing. When she spoke again, her tone was laced with sarcasm, an inherent "obviously" in her words. "He had your heart. There was nothing you could've done."

Killian scoffed. "And it was my fault that it was taken in the first place."

Belle stood, the tears ceasing as she allowed her frustration to take over, tossing the borrowed handkerchief onto the table. "Just… stop! I'm apologizing!"

A wry smirk began to play about Killian's lips before he nodded graciously. "Not that there's anything to forgive… I forgive you."

Belle smiled, picking up the handkerchief as she sat down again, crumpling and uncrumpling it in her hand. "I actually… I actually came for a second reason." Hook looked over at her, left eyebrow cocked. "Another apology, actually."

Killian shook his head, hand returning to his ear. "I guarantee it's not necessary, and almost certainly not deserved. Nothing to worry about, I assure you."

Belle shook her head, sliding her hand into her pocket and fiddling with the item she had placed there an hour or so prior. As she fidgeted with the object, she began to speak. "Do you remember when we first met in the library? And afterward, on the ship?"

Another flash of guilt marred his blue eyes and he looked away again. "Aye."

"I told you something that day, and I was wrong, so…" She sniffed, ducking her head before raising it again. "I definitely owe you an apology on that." She felt tears start to gather in her eyes once more, but she blinked them away. "I told you that Rumple's heart was true and that yours was rotten, but…" This time, she couldn't stave away the tears, so she looked out at the sea to hide them. "I had it backwards." She looked over at him again as soon as she'd dried her eyes.

Killian smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. Instead, a storm of emotions - melancholy and pain, guilt and sadness - warred in them, even as he tried to reassure her. "I appreciate your words, lass, but, though it's a nice sentiment, you give me too much credit. I won't argue with you about Rumplestiltskin's heart, but I can assure you that mine is as rotten as you said."

"You forget, Killian…" He looked up, seemingly startled at the use of his given name, but didn't speak. "I saw your heart, and it is hardly rotten."

"I was a pirate for centuries, Belle. And darkness, once in your heart, doesn't depart without magical interference. There is still darkness in my heart. I was a villain, and that hasn't changed." A silent no matter how much I try tagged along at the end, but Belle didn't bring it up.

"Not every hero is blameless, Killian. Snow White has darkness in her heart. Would you say she's not a hero?" He opened his mouth to respond, then shut it again without speaking. Belle smiled in accomplishment. "Anyway… No matter what you say, I don't believe in what I said any longer, so I still owe you an apology." She stood again, standing directly in front of him so that he had little choice but to look at her. "I'm sorry."

He nodded. "Again, there's no need, but, if it'll settle your mind, I accept your apology."

Belle smiled, the final weight dropping away, the last vestiges of tension sliding off into oblivion. "Good." She glanced at the greatcoat folded on the table, at the makeshift pillow he'd been using, and smiled. "I haven't seen that thing for ages. You know, I'm sure Granny had a room you can rent."

He grinned, a much more normal smirk on his face. "Aye, she does. I take advantage of her lodgings when the weather is poor, but, when the weather is amenable, I find it far more comforting to spend the night by the sea. And, though I've abandoned my more fairy tale attire, I do find that it is warmer than anything manufactured here."

Belle nodded. "I understand what you mean. It's very peaceful out here."

When he spoke again, it was muttered quietly, a near-whispered "Aye."

Belle finally extricated her hand from her pocket, removing the object with it. "I must confess… I had one more reason for coming out here." She kept talking without pausing, but he still managed to look at her inquisitively. "I was tidying the shop and I found something you'd dropped in the library that day. I had used it to figure out that your ship was here, but I think you might like it back now." With that, she reached out, the small bundle of rope proffered on an open palm.

Belle wasn't sure what she'd expected to see on the man's face, but the sudden shift from joviality to pain wasn't it. He stayed frozen, eyes locked on the knot, for another few minutes before reaching out his - shaking, she was shocked to notice - hand to take it. She could hear him take a series of heavy, shaking breaths as he pulled his hand back, resting it and the small bundle of rope in his lap. He stayed there for several unnerving seconds, silent and completely still.

Belle swallowed nervously. "Uh, I'm sorry… Is something wrong?"

"I, uh…" He broke off, swallowing heavily. He cleared his throat before trying to speak again, his voice stronger when he did. "I hadn't thought I'd see this again."

Belle returned to her abandoned seat, watching him turn the small knot around in his hand. She could tell she'd stumbled onto a sensitive subject, but she couldn't help the curiosity filling her. "What is it?"

"Uh…" Belle was struck by how Killian's normal eloquence had deserted him, his eyes still pinned on the object in his hand. Eventually, he looked up, seeming to startle himself out of his mind. "It… It belonged to Milah. I made it for her the day she died." He looked out at sea while he spoke, eyes staring far out at the horizon. He fell silent then, once more lost in thought.

"I've never heard the story… Will you tell me what happened?" Belle held her breath as she waited to hear what he'd say, letting it out in a quiet breath when he nodded.

"I will, if you are sure you wish to hear." He looked over at her briefly, a thin smile quirking up one side of his mouth at her nod. "I first met Milah in a tavern. She was sitting alone at the bar, drinking from a stein as though fortifying herself. She was beautiful, but it was her eyes that struck me… They held in them a despair, a sadness that seemed out of place." He broke off for a moment, still looking out at the ocean when he began to speak again. His tone lost the tinge of melancholic nostalgia, and his words came faster, accompanied by a genuine smile that, though still tinged with sadness, lit up his face.

"I dealt with some drunk trying to harass her and introduced myself. We talked of life as a pirate, I regaled her with some stories, and I offered her the opportunity to come with me." Belle nodded. She had heard some of the story from Rumple, so she was surprised when he continued to say, "She said no at the time, refusing to leave her duties to her husband and son." He let out a slightly sardonic chuckle. "Walking away from her that day, I was sure I'd never see her again."

Belle realized that she was literally leaning forward in her seat, so she straightened, but she couldn't help asking, "What happened?"

Killian shrugged. "I never learned the specifics. The first time she sought me out, she was furious, ranting about him being weak and cowardly. She wouldn't tell me much beyond that he was willing to sacrifice a child for his own ends and that he was making decisions about her future without consulting her. I suppose I'll never know what he did…" He trailed off again, but only for a few seconds. "She became increasingly dissatisfied with her life, spending more and more of her time in the tavern with me and my crew, not leaving until it was dark outside or until Rumplestiltskin came to collect her."

His tone turned bitter, scornful as he continued. "He'd bring Baelfire along much of the time, using him to guilt her into returning. As much as Milah wanted to escape, she did love the lad, and her husband knew it. Eventually, it became too much. She begged me to help her escape, but I urged caution; after all, she'd be leaving her son without a mother if she left. We ended up deciding on a test."

Belle tilted her head in confusion. "A test?"

"Aye, a test. We spread a rumor that she'd been kidnapped, that we were going to set sail on the Jolly Roger within a few hours. Milah wanted to know if Rumple would come for her, would fight for her." He paused, gesturing slightly with his hand as he continued to speak. "He came, so I issued him a challenge: pick up a sword and best me in a duel, and I'd let Milah go." Another wry chuckle interrupted the tale. "All he had to do was pick up the sword and Milah would've at least given him another chance." He shook his head, adding, "He didn't even try to pick it up. He walked away, fully believing that his wife was kidnapped on a pirate ship, about to be raped by any number of violent men."

Belle closed her eyes, certain that her expression was a mix of horror and disgust. "How long was she with you?"

"Several years. The number is lost to time, but it was long enough that even my crew came to love her, respecting her orders as much as they did their captain's. She wasn't fully happy, though. She missed Bae and I could tell that a large part of her wanted to go back for him, even as she didn't feel that a pirate ship was a good place to raise a child." Another heavy swallow filled the space between his sentences, and Belle could see that the shaking in his hand had worsened, so she kept herself from interrupting.

"When we found out that she was p-" He broke off and closed his eyes, a tear falling down his cheek as he ducked his head. "When we found out that she was pregnant-" Belle couldn't stop her horrified gasp at the words, but every word died on her tongue. For all that she loved books and reading, for all the intelligence she was sure she had, her mind was blank, save for the story he continued to tell. "-we decided we were going to retire and settle down. We were looking for lodging in the seaside towns we passed and making plans to return for Baelfire to settle down as a family."

He gestured with the knot. "I was nervous when she told me, almost as nervous as she was. I didn't have much experience with my own father, so I wasn't sure I could do justice as one myself, and Milah was scared of Bae's reaction to her return, of failing with our child the way she had with his. I didn't sleep much in those days, spending my nights manning the helm, tying and untying various knots to steady my mind. Milah came to talk to me the night I finished this one, and we spent the entire night talking, reassuring each other and ourselves. I was going to untie this one, but she stopped me, pointing out the rattle-like shape and claiming it as a toy for the child."

"The night that Rumplestiltskin reappeared, this time as the Dark One, we'd finally found where we wanted to stay. We'd found a perfect cottage near the sea and had officially purchased it. We were planning to celebrate at the tavern, but Milah was feeling ill, so she stayed on the ship, while I went with the crew. She was supposed to join us eventually, but we decided to return to the ship early instead."

"Rumplestiltskin stopped us outside, asking of her, so I told him she was dead. He challenged me to a duel the following morning, threatening my crew if I should fail to return. I didn't tell Milah of the encounter, leaving the ship as quietly as I could the next morning. Rumplestiltskin was already waiting by the time I arrived, confiscating my cutlass for his own use and replacing it with one of shoddier craftsmanship. As you might expect, I was no match for an immortal with magic, and it wasn't long before I was left disarmed and kneeling."

Belle could see silent tears running down his cheeks at the memories, but he continued talking before she could offer to change the subject. "He started ripping out my heart-" His hand moved unconsciously to his heart, and he winced at the memory. "-but Milah showed up, offering to trade our lives for a magic bean that we'd obtained. I never did find out how she knew to find us, much less where."

His voice was breaking at this point, eyes still fixed out at sea. "They got into a fight almost as soon as we returned to the Jolly Roger. She… She told him she'd never loved him." He fell silent again, eyes clenched closed. "So, he lashed me to the mast with ropes from the rigging and ripped out her heart. I got free, but all I could do was hold her as he crushed her heart."

The note of finality at the end of his sentence shook Belle from the story, and it was only then that she recognized the tears running down her own face. She brushed them away with the handkerchief he'd lent her, eventually working herself up to ask, "If you don't mind… What happened to your hand?"

Killian looked over at her, blinking a few times as though struggling to process the question. "Ah, that… Well, he tried to demand the bean anyway and I refused to give it to him. He thought it was in my left hand and decided to take it, and, thus, any contents. I'd already pocketed the bean, but he left before he figured that out, so we used it to go to Neverland, where, as you may know, I stayed until I had a chance of getting my revenge."

Belle smiled shyly, unsure of quite what to say. "Thank you for telling me."

Killian shifted, returning the rattle to his pocket. "Thank you for returning this to me."

She nodded, shrugging. "It's not a problem." She stood, preparing to leave, but stopped. "I'm going to start researching how to get the fairies out of the hat." Belle tactfully ignored another flash of guilt on his face, continuing to say, "Would you like to help?"

He looked surprised, but he nodded. "It would be my honor."