"What?" Beca asked.
"I'm a virgin, Beca."
"Oh, a girl virgin?" Beca chuckled. "Chloe, don't worry, you're not the first girl I've dated who's never been with a woman before."
"No, Beca. A virgin virgin."
Beca laughed. "You're funny."
"I'm serious, Beca."
"Chlo, what are you talking about? You have Rachel. You're totally not a virgin."
"I am, and I guess I'd better explain things from the beginning," said Chloe.
Valentine's Day, 2016
Chloe didn't mind that she was working on a Sunday as a favor to a friend of Stacie's whose cat was a longtime patient at the animal hospital. She didn't even mind that she didn't have a date for Valentine's Day. She could count the years she actually had a Valentine's Day date on one hand, actually. She was missing a day that had been one of the most special, important days in her life since she'd been a little girl.
It was her Meemaw's birthday, or, it would have been. The woman's four-year battle with lung cancer had taken her the previous April, about a month before Chloe's college graduation. Chloe knew her grandmother wouldn't have been well enough to see her walk across the stage, but she'd made plans to visit her at the hospice in her cap and gown. A few coworkers at her internship that was now her full-time job had promised to take video. However, try as she might, Meemaw just couldn't hold on.
Chloe had been somewhat relieved when Stacie called her to let her know that her friend Flo had an emergency with her cat. The emergency clinic was expensive, and there was always a long wait on Sundays. She offered to come in and see the cat, and Chloe had jumped at the chance to distract herself from missing her grandmother.
Flo's cat Isadora had been limping and whining all day. Stacie quickly discovered that she'd torn a ligament and would require surgery. Chloe was glad to assist. The surgery had been a success, and Flo was grateful.
As Stacie went over follow-up care instructions, Chloe gathered the trash to put out into the dumpster. She stepped out the back door and scoffed at the rain, immediately putting her back in a sour mood as she tossed the bag into the dumpster. As she was walking in, she almost tripped over something wrapped in newspaper.
Chloe sighed as she picked up the bundle. She didn't know why people would leave abandoned pets at the animal hospital, especially since they had posted a sign telling them that abandoned pets would be taken to animal control. While they would have loved to take any and all of them, the reality was that they didn't have space. If they took one animal, they felt like they had to take them all. Every once in a while, someone would leave an animal in the back alley behind the hospital, possibly in hopes that they could say they hadn't seen the sign if they'd gotten caught.
Chloe gasped when she opened the bundle. It wasn't a puppy or a kitten. It was a newborn baby! Chloe wasn't an expert on babies, but the child looked very small. He or she had lips that were turning blue. She wasn't even positive the baby was breathing. She immediately headed inside.
"Stacie!" she yelled, urgently. "Come here! You're not going to believe this!"
Chloe could hear Stacie sigh as she walked toward her. "Another kitten?"
"No," said Chloe. "Look!"
"Oh my god!" Stacie exclaimed. "Get a towel and a blanket. And I think I have a diaper in my purse."
Chloe did as Stacie asked and they put a diaper on the baby (a girl) after drying her off. They had to use first aid tape to fold it up and make it small enough to fit her. Stacie unhooked her nursing bra and attempted to get her to feed.
"She can't," said Stacie. "I think she's too weak and cold."
"Poor thing," said Chloe.
"Take her for a minute while I get more blankets."
Chloe held the baby girl closely and softly sang to her.
Baby mine, don't you cry
Baby mine, dry your eyes
Rest your head close to my heart
Never to part, baby of mine
"Open your shirt," said Stacie. "Hold her to your bare skin and I'll cover her in a couple of blankets. We need to head to the hospital."
"Will she fit Bella's car seat?"
"No way and we don't have time for me to adjust it. I'll wrap you both in that big rain jacket you keep here. We'd better walk fast."
Chloe kept looking down at the baby girl. She seemed to be breathing a little better and she was definitely warming up.
"The Safe Haven Law is supposed to keep this shit from happening, but nobody tells anyone about it."
"What?" asked Chloe.
"Exactly. The short version is that a parent can leave a baby who is less than one week old at a hospital, fire station, or police station without consequence."
"I had no idea."
"I'm sure this little girl's mother didn't know, either."
They got to the emergency room at the hospital, which was, fortunately, a two-block walk, and Stacie did the talking.
"Hi! We work at VetFriends. Chloe found this baby in the back alley next to our dumpster. I don't know who left her, but she needs help. Fast."
A nurse came to see. "She's tiny. I don't think she was full-term. Neither of you is the mother?"
Both women shook their heads.
"You're free to examine either of us," said Stacie. "I have a six-month-old daughter at home, but you'll see neither of us has given birth recently."
"I've never even been pregnant," said Chloe.
The nurse looked at both of them. "I need to get this baby to the NICU. Thank you for bringing her in. We'll take it from here."
"But-" Chloe began to protest.
"Chloe, we did our part. The rest is up to the hospital."
Chloe felt a tear fall down her cheek as they took the baby away.
That night, she saw the little girl's face on the news. They'd begun calling her "Baby Jane Doe" and asked for anyone with information to come forward. They'd even discussed the Safe Haven Law and promised that there wouldn't be any consequences, even though she hadn't been left at an appropriate location.
Chloe felt a mix of relief and sadness. The girl was alive, at least. But there was probably someone missing her.
"Baby Jane Doe" appeared on the news and social media for two more days before Chloe could no longer resist the urge to check on her.
The same nurse saw her at the check-in desk. "I thought you said you didn't give birth to her."
"I didn't," said Chloe. "I promise. I just...can't stop thinking about her. Nobody has come forward?"
"That's in the hands of DCFS, but they haven't brought anyone in to see her. I don't think her real family will come forward, honestly. She looks like she was about five or six weeks early. Whoever birthed her tied the cord off with a shoelace, and I think they hacked it off with keys or something. It was probably a scared teenager. She either didn't know or didn't want to believe she was pregnant. To be honest, she's incredibly lucky you found her when you did because she wouldn't have survived for long outside the womb without medical intervention. I doubt she was more than an hour old."
"What will happen to her when she's well enough to leave the hospital?"
"She will be placed in foster care."
"How is she doing?" asked Chloe.
"She hasn't been having a good day," the nurse said. "Look, I'm not supposed to let anyone other than parents and grandparents into the NICU after 6 pm, but I'll make an exception."
She took Chloe to an area where she had to turn the faucet on with her knee and scrub up to her elbows.
"Here she is," she said, showing her a tiny baby clad in only a very tiny diaper in an incubator with tubes and wires attached to her.
Chloe put a hand to her mouth. "That poor little baby."
"Do you want to hold her?"
"Can I?"
"Sit in the rocking chair next to the incubator. I'll help you get situated."
Chloe did as she asked and the tiny girl was placed in her arms. The nurse had her unbutton the top few buttons on her shirt to tuck her against her chest. She placed a blanket over top of them.
"We call this kangaroo care. It should help warm her up, and babies like to hear a heartbeat. It works better than an incubator in my experience."
"My coworker had me do that when we found her."
"I'll leave you to her. Just hit the call button if you need me."
She began to rock her. She sang, just as she'd done the night she'd found her, but she sang something different this time.
Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darling, it's been a long cold lonely winter
Little darling, it feels like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
Little darling, the smiles returning to the faces
Little darling, it seems like years since it's been here
Here comes the sun, doo-doo-doo-doo, here comes the sun
And I say it's all right
When she finished the song, she looked up to see several doctors standing by the incubator along with the nurse.
"I'm sorry. I-" Chloe began.
"Why on earth are you sorry?" asked the nurse. "Those are the best numbers we've seen for Baby Jane since you brought her in."
"What?"
"I'm Dr. Montgomery," a tall woman with auburn hair introduced herself. "I'm in charge of the NICU. I know Linda let you in against our policies, but you have my approval to come in and visit Baby Jane whenever you like."
Present Day
"And I did," said Chloe, as she passed Beca another tissue. Beca had been bawling her eyes out since about halfway through the story. "I'd come and hold her after work every day. I'd spend hours with her on weekends, and I'd sing to her. 'Baby Mine' seemed to be her favorite, with 'Landslide' a close second, and probably 'Here Comes the Sun' a close third. My mom sang those to me when I was little."
"That's…" Beca trailed off. "I knew you had a big heart, but…"
"Stacie told me, at first, that I needed to stop visiting. She was afraid someone would come forward and claim her, leaving me heartbroken. But, I just couldn't," said Chloe. After a few beats, she added, "I found out later that Linda had only made an exception because they weren't expecting her to make it through the night."
"Oh my god, really?"
"Yeah," Chloe added softly. "They hadn't had a lot of volunteers that day, and she thought maybe she'd pull through if someone held her. It was a last-ditch effort. They'd been watching the monitors, just in case things turned for the worse. Her breathing and everything seemed to regulate once I held her against my chest, and even better when I sang."
"That's amazing."
"I wasn't even supposed to be at work that day, and it was just meant to be. I found her because I was meant to be her mom. If I'd found her even an hour later, it would have been too late to save her. It probably seems weird, but I really think my grandmother sent her to me so I wouldn't be so sad. It may have been my Meemaw's birthday, but I was the one who got a gift - Rachel, my sweet baby girl."
"It does sound like it," said Beca. "So, how did you end up adopting her?"
March 2016
It had been a little over two weeks, and Chloe had been visiting the hospital almost daily.
One evening, a woman named Cynthia Rose was waiting when Chloe came over to hold the baby.
"I'm Cynthia Rose, and I work for the Department of Child and Family Services. I understand you're the one who found Baby Jane."
"Yes."
"And you've been here every day?"
"Almost."
"We haven't found her family yet. We've had a couple of people come forward, but nobody is actually related to her."
"I don't understand," said Chloe.
"Look, a lot of...interesting people come forward when this happens. We get all kinds. I can spot an actor a mile away. There are people with less than admirable intentions."
"Oh, no!"
"Yeah. We also get people who have experienced a loss and they're not in a good place mentally. Those are the ones that bother me the most. They had a miscarriage or stillbirth, and they delude themselves into thinking that they must have had the baby and forgotten. It's sad, really."
"I had no idea."
"People don't talk about it. It's the same people, usually, so I don't let it get too far."
"How will you know if you find her birth family?" Chloe asked.
"The hospital ran some blood tests, so we can do some preliminary testing to see if there is a possible match."
"Wow."
"It's what we have to do," said Cynthia Rose. "However, Dr. Montgomery and all of the staff members here have told me what you've been doing. I can push some paperwork through to allow you to foster her if you're interested. It will take some pulling of strings on my part and some work on yours, but I can do it if you're interested."
Chloe sat in shock for a moment before answering. "So, if I foster her, then what happens?"
"Well, it's possible we may find her family, but I doubt it. We've tried, but we don't even have a lead. You could foster her for a while and then you would have the option to adopt her, assuming her birth family isn't found and the judge sees you as a fit mother. We can ask for a court date when she turns two. By the way, how old are you?"
"Twenty-two."
"Shit. Okay. That's some extra paperwork. You're supposed to be twenty-five." Cynthia Rose blew out a sigh. "I might have to find a couple of people who owe me a favor. I'll do it if you're serious about this, though."
"I am," Chloe said without hesitation.
Chloe and Cynthia Rose talked extensively while she held the baby. By the time she'd left, she had a stack of paperwork to go through.
Just before Cynthia Rose left, Chloe asked, "If I take her home, may I name her?"
"I suppose that would be all right, just as long as you understand there's still a small chance her birth family will want her. What name did you have in mind?"
Chloe knew without a second thought. "Rachel Addison, after my Meemaw."
"I think that's sweet," said Cynthia Rose. "Bye, Rachel." She gently patted the baby on the head as she left the room.
Present Day
"Wait a minute," said Beca. "How did you do everything?"
"I spent hours that evening filling out the paperwork. The social worker had a few people who owed her favors, and Dr. Montgomery wrote the family court judge a letter about how I'd been faithfully visiting the baby and singing to her. There was probably something in there as well about the direct improvement it had on her health. Stacie and Amy and the rest of my coworkers threw me a baby shower to help supply me with what I'd need to have my home approved. The department provided me with a few things, but not everything. I also checked a bunch of parenting books out of the library and pored over different websites to help me raise a baby, especially a premature one."
April 2016
Chloe stood before a family court judge, and she quickly approved Chloe to foster the little girl once she read the doctor's letter. She took her home from the hospital that very day.
The hospital sent her home with a bunch of formula samples and diapers, and Stacie even gave her several bottles of milk she'd pumped extra just to give Rachel a boost. She'd even gotten everyone in the vet's office to sign up for free samples and coupons from a formula company.
"Formula is expensive," said Stacie. "I wish I could pump enough to feed both her and Bella."
"No, really, whatever you're willing to part with is amazing," said Chloe. "Besides, with all of the coupons you guys are giving me and the stipend I get for fostering, I should have formula expenses covered."
Stacie helped Chloe swaddle Rachel and lay her in the pack and play, which she'd set up as a bassinet.
"Okay, she's down," said Stacie. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Go be with your wife and daughter," said Chloe. "I've got this."
Rachel had gained weight, finally, but she was still tiny. The NICU doctors and nurses had told Chloe to think about her "adjusted age" when looking at sizes and milestones. Her lungs definitely worked, and she demonstrated this several times that first night.
Chloe was wiped out the first morning, but she was also thrilled to have Rachel home with her. She just hoped she'd get to stay.
Chloe was able to take leave from her job for eight weeks to get settled. Stacie came over almost daily after work to help Chloe. She'd hold her so Chloe could take a quick shower, and she frequently had an extra bottle of pumped breastmilk she'd give her. Chloe had told her it would be okay if she wanted to breastfeed her directly, but Rachel was never able to latch properly to Stacie's breast.
Chloe had also been fortunate that her neighbor Betty had recently retired as a pediatric nurse. When she found out Rachel's history, she volunteered to take care of her during the day. She wouldn't take any money from Chloe, insisting that Chloe's Meemaw would haunt her if she dared.
Present Day
"So, when did she officially become yours?" Beca asked.
"A month after she turned two," said Chloe. "Aubrey works in family law, and she had a coworker take the case pro bono. Denise made it clear that I was the best fit for Rachel and that the department had exhausted all reasonable means of locating any blood relatives. The judge didn't want to give her to me because I was single, but Denise is a damn good lawyer."
"I still can't believe you two aren't blood-related."
"We're not."
"Does Rachel know?"
"She knows she's adopted, but she's only understood the concept for about a year."
August 2020
Chloe had just helped her neighbor's cat deliver four kittens while Rachel watched, wide-eyed.
"What did you think, baby girl?" Chloe asked.
"I think it's great that Bootsie is a mama now, too."
"She's going to do great." Chloe smiled as she watched Bootsie washing her kittens.
"Mama, what was it like when I came out of your belly?"
"Sweetheart, you didn't. Do you remember how we talked about adoption?"
"Yes," said Rachel.
"Do you know what that means?"
Rachel scrunched up her face. "It means you chose me."
"I did, but it also means that you grew in another woman's belly," said Chloe.
"Who?"
"I never met her."
"Why didn't she keep me?" asked Rachel.
"I don't know, sweetheart. I guess she didn't think she could take care of you as well as she would have liked. It takes a lot of time and money to take care of a child. She must have given you up because she wanted you to live with someone who could give you a good home and a good life."
"Like you?"
"Exactly like me."
"Does this mean you're not really my mama?" asked Rachel.
"No, Rachel. You are my daughter, and I'm your mama. I really think that somehow Meemaw brought you to me, sweetheart."
"That's why you named me Rachel, right?"
"It sure is," said Chloe. "You know how in Dinosaur Train how Buddy is adopted by the pteranodons?"
"Yeah. He's my favorite."
"Does Buddy ever say that Mr. and Mrs. Pteranodon aren't his parents?"
Rachel furrowed her brow. "No."
"It's the same with us. I'm your mama. I held you the day you were born, and I visited you when you were in the hospital."
"And you sang to me."
"That's right," said Chloe. "I've been the one here for you. That makes me your mother. I like to think that you grew in my heart instead of my belly."
"I love you, Mama. I'm so glad your Meemaw brought me to you." Rachel climbed into her lap and rested her head on Chloe's shoulder.
"Me too," said Chloe, tears in her eyes. "Me too."
Present Day
"That is the sweetest story," said Beca. "But, why didn't you tell me Rachel was adopted?"
"I follow her lead with that," said Chloe. "She doesn't like to tell people that she's adopted. Obviously, the school knows, as do medical professionals. But, she doesn't really volunteer that information."
"I wonder why."
"For one thing, I think she gets a kick out of it when people tell us we look alike. It's the red hair, obviously. She finally grew a head of hair at around a year old, and Stacie joked that my 'gingerness' was contagious. But, people have said some really idiotic things. One time, someone told her I wasn't her real mama. She's hardly told a soul since then."
"How old was she?"
"Four. It was maybe a few days after the conversation we had where I explained adoption better. She told someone about it - a random stranger at the grocery store - and she asked her if she was going to look for her real parents someday."
"Who the hell says that to anyone, especially a little kid?" asked Beca.
"I know, right? Rachel immediately burst into tears, and I had to take her home. It's the only time I've left a cart full of groceries in the aisle, but she was inconsolable. It was also the one time I paid for grocery delivery. She was a wreck the rest of the day. I spent that day promising her that I was her real mama and that the person at the grocery store had made a mistake to tell her otherwise."
"Poor baby," said Beca.
"Yeah," said Chloe.
Beca shook her head. "I still can't believe, well, the whole story."
"It's a lot to digest, I know. I just think back about how everything happened, and I just know she was meant to be mine. I wasn't supposed to be at work that day, and I don't think she would have been alive if we hadn't found her until the next day."
"That's amazing," said Beca.
"So, I guess that is a really long explanation of why I haven't been as physical with you as you had probably expected."
"I'd always just assumed you were hesitant because of your daughter, but I understand now. We can take things at your pace, okay?"
"You don't think it's weird that I'm a twenty-eight-year-old virgin?"
"It's unusual, but that's all," said Beca.
"Good," said Chloe. "I had a girlfriend in high school for a few months, but it never got that serious. I had a boyfriend for a bit as well, but that didn't get that far either. I wasn't ready back then, and he was the one I caught making out with my ex-girlfriend at a party. I was too swamped with taking care of Meemaw when I was in college to have time to date. And I've been on very few dates since I took in Rachel."
"Right. I'd still like you to stay the night if you want. I'd really like to hold you and wake up next to you tomorrow morning. We can wait until you're ready to have sex. I know I'd like a little time to process this myself."
"I'd like that. I've slept alone most nights, and, when I haven't, it's been with Rachel when she's scared or not feeling well."
"Does she get sick a lot?"
"No, but I imagine with kindergarten and aftercare that our days of that are numbered."
"I bet. So, you said she was premature?"
"The doctors' best guess is about six weeks early. It's why she's small, wears glasses, and it might be why she has asthma. The doctors think she'll outgrow the asthma if it's due to prematurity. I really hope that happens because colds tend to make her asthma worse, and she's only had one since the start of kindergarten."
"I'm learning so much," said Beca. "Should I pretend I don't know that Rachel is adopted?"
"I wouldn't bring it up, but I will let her know that I told you. She obviously doesn't know she was abandoned. I don't know when or how I'm going to explain that when she's older."
"You'll figure it out."
"I guess so," said Chloe. "Anyway, that's why I don't show her face on social media. The adoption was finalized more than three years ago, but I worry that her birth family might see her and try to take her from me. I'd hope a judge would see that I've cared for her since day one, but they don't all see things that way."
"You mean a judge could give her to the woman who abandoned her?"
"It happens. And I know it would crush both of us."
"I can't even imagine," said Beca.
Chloe yawned. "It's getting late."
"Yeah. We can head to bed now if you like. I'll let Crackers out, and you can change in my room."
Chloe got into a tank and sleep shorts and waited for Beca and Crackers. She heard a soft knock at the door.
"You don't have to knock, Beca. It's your home and your bedroom."
"I wasn't sure how comfortable you were with me seeing you undressed yet."
"Thanks."
Beca headed into the en suite bathroom with a pair of pajamas and came out a few minutes later. She turned down the sheets, and the pair climbed into bed. Crackers climbed up a small set of steps by Beca's bed and tried to lay between them.
"Sorry, buddy, you're at the foot of the bed tonight," said Beca, pointing.
Crackers gave them a pathetic look before slowly walking to the foot of the bed.
"Stop it, Crackers. Chloe knows how spoiled you are."
"Awww…" said Chloe.
"He's being dramatic. He's used to sleeping next to me. He'll be fine."
Chloe rolled to the side, and she found herself easily sinking into Beca's embrace as they spooned. She felt Beca move her hair to the side and press a kiss to her neck. Chloe heard Beca begin to chuckle and then stop herself.
"What's so funny?"
"I was just thinking. I'm dating a real-life Virgin Mary."
Chloe laughed. "That's funny. I never thought of it that way."
"Night, Chloe. I love you." Beca pressed another kiss, this time to Chloe's bare shoulder.
"Love you too."
A/N: The Safe Haven Law is a real law in the United States. It varies by state, but the general idea is that a parent can leave a newborn at a fire station, police station, hospital, etc. without consequence. The specifics vary by age of the child and the places the baby can be left, though.