"How is Seattle Grace's most explosive intern?" Derek asked, shutting the door softly behind him.

Meredith snorted and tilted her head up towards the ceiling. "That's not even remotely funny, you know."

"I know." Derek smiled that stupid, amused smirk and came to sit down next to her. Meredith stared into her sheets and refused to make eye contact. "How do you feel?"

"Like I died and came back to life," Meredith replied dryly.

Derek paled. "Cristina told you?"

"No," Meredith said simply. "But it's kind of hard to die and not notice."

"Ah." Derek looked uncomfortable. Good. Meredith watched as his gaze shifted to the plastic bag lying next to her. Suddenly, he guffawed loudly. "Oh, Jesus, please tell me that is not what I think it is."

"It is," Meredith confirmed. She smiled slyly as Derek picked it up, holding it at a distance as though it contained something poisonous. "Cristina said it came out easy enough. Though I'll have a nice scar for the next guy who I bring home from Joe's to ask me about."

Derek's mouth twisted- he looked like he was about to say something, but took a breath instead. "You almost died," he blurted.

Meredith shrugged. "Yeah, I know."

"You - you did die." Derek stared down at his hands.

"Only for about ninety seconds," Meredith reminded him.

"Still," Derek met her eyes, giving her a look she hadn't seen since Addison had shown up in Seattle. "I don't want that to happen again. I don't want -" he sucked in a sharp breath. "You can't- You stuck your hand into his chest."

"Yeah, I did." Meredith stared down at her white sheets, at her nails, bitten down to the quick. Suddenly a strong, calloused hand encapsulated her wrist. Meredith froze.

Derek smoothed his thumb over her own. "How come?"

Meredith bit her bottom lip. "I saw that guy die," she blurted. "The bomb squad guy- Dillon. His name was Dillon."

"I know."

"It was so weird. One second he was there, walking. Then-" she snapped her fingers for dramatic effect. "He was dead. Pink mist."

Derek looked like he wanted to pull her closer, to do something more than just hold her wrist and rub the back of her hand. But he didn't. He nodded again. "I know," he repeated.

"And you know, I thought I was going to die. That whole time," Meredith continued, rambling now. "And- and-" All I could think about was how I couldn't remember the last time we kissed, and how badly I want to do it again. "I was… really scared."

"Mhmm." Derek stood, crossing the room to check to make sure the hall was clear and snap the blinds shut. He returned to her bedside, nudging her over. "Make room."

"Derek, what are you-"

"Don't say anything," he murmured, climbing next to her in the tiny bed. "I am doing this in the utmost professional manner."

Meredith shimmied to the side as Derek laid down. She tried to relax, too. She stared up at the ceiling and tried to pretend they were on the floor in her living room after a one night stand, and that she had no idea that Derek Shepherd was married. Or that he too would be starting a job at Seattle Grace the next day. Or that he was a doctor at all.

But she couldn't. Now, all that surfaced in her mind were images of Addison Shepherd in her pink scrubs and her angry voice.

And you must be the woman who's been screwing my husband.

"Derek," Meredith blurted.

"What is it?" he muttered into her ear, twisting her hair around his fingers. Meredith pushed him away.

"You need to leave."

Derek recoiled. "What?"

"You need to leave," Meredith repeated firmly. "You can't- I don't want to do this the wrong way. You're only doing this because I'm laid up with a piece of a bombshell sticking out of my chest."

A frown creased Derek's brow. "No I'm not."

"Then why are you doing it?" Meredith questioned gently. In lieu of replying, Derek wrapped the back of his hand around her head and guided it into his shoulder. She resisted.

"Meredith…"

"No, Derek. You're with Addison," Meredith said pointedly. "I gave you an ultimatum and you chose Addison."

Derek sighed deeply, but heaved himself off the bed. Meredith stared at the dent his body had made in the mattress.

"See you later," she mumbled.

"Yeah," Derek replied. "See you later."

Xxxx

PS- A funny story is I clicked a free movie link today and I got a virus and I had to call apple support, and the customer service rep had access to my computer and I had the folder to this story open. So… maybe he is reading it

Plleeeeease remember to review ;) thanks for all the ones you've been leaving