A/N
So I should start with another apology (which I think I had to start the last chapter with too!) for my lengthy absence. Unfortunately work is still crazy busy, so I'm still not going to be able to keep up the frequency of posts that I was managing before, but I am determined to get this one finished!
JJ could hear her own heartbeat thumping in her chest. She focused on it as though it were a metronome, using it to steady herself as she took silent steps forwards. The hallway was dark, but she could make out the shape of Morgan ahead of her, and she was aware that Emily was leading the way. Behind her, Reid was bringing up the rear of the assault team, but his steps were just as quiet as her own.
They reached a locked door, just as they expected. Before they'd left the local police department, Garcia had emailed over the floor plans for the abandoned warehouse where they had concluded that their unsub was hiding his latest victim, and they were now approaching the office to the rear of the building.
Their breach was thoroughly planned out, based on the assumption that the unsub was in the room with his captive. Based on his previous pattern, he wouldn't be planning on keeping her alive much longer. Morgan would be the one to kick in the door, with Emily being the first to make entry. The rest of them would then immediately follow, fanning out to cover all angles of the room.
They waited outside the door, Morgan the only one without his gun drawn. Light crept around the gaps in the door, illuminating their faces enough to allow them to make eye contact with one another. Morgan signalled to all of them, receiving nods to confirm that they were ready. He placed a hand on Emily's shoulder, squeezing it as their gazes lingered for a moment.
JJ felt her stomach drop. She was vaguely aware of a noise as Morgan kicked in the door, but all that was filling her head was the image of the look between her two teammates, replaying over and over again as though in slow motion. Her feet seemed to carry her through the door after Emily as if she was on autopilot. But her reactions were off, and she failed to register the unsub thrusting his knife towards the woman who was bound to a chair in the centre of the room.
Neither Morgan nor Emily had the angle to take the shot. There was too great a risk of hitting the woman. JJ was perfectly placed, but her trigger finger never moved.
Thankfully for all concerned, Reid instantaneously leant to the side, bypassing JJ and getting off a single shot that took down the unsub, the knife clattering to the floor. He kept his gun pointed at the man who lay bleeding on the floor as he slowly approached, kicking the knife away before kneeling down to check his pulse.
"He's gone" Reid confirmed.
Meanwhile, Emily had holstered her weapon and strode purposefully to the woman in the chair.
"Hey" she softly, her fingers working to untie the knots in the ropes that bound her "you're safe now. He's not going to hurt you anymore, I promise"
"Please…" the woman whimpered "I just….get me out of here, please"
"I've got you" Emily released the final restraint and helped the woman to her feet "I promise. Do you think you can walk?"
"I….uh, I think so"
Emily wrapped her arm around the woman, taking as much of her weight as she could as the two of them slowly headed for the door.
The brunette's eyes met JJ's as she helped the woman out of the room. The blonde remained frozen to the spot, and Emily's look of disbelief felt cold and caused her to shiver. It was only once the brunette had exited the room that she seemed to kick into action. She checked on Reid, who also just gave her a confused look.
"We've got this JJ" Morgan said firmly.
She went to protest, but the look on his face gave her second thoughts.
"I'll go let the locals know they can come in" she said after a pause.
"Yeah, I think that'd be a good idea" Morgan replied.
JJ sighed and made her way back out of the building. She did as she'd said, and informed the waiting team from the local PD that the location was clear and they were free to enter to gather any further evidence they needed, and await the coroner to attend to process the unsub.
She turned and hesitantly walked towards the ambulance where Emily was sat with the victim they had saved whilst the paramedics gave her the once over.
Before she could say anything, Emily began speaking "I'm gonna ride with Jenna to the hospital. I've already called in and asked for her husband to meet us there. You should head back to the station"
"Right" JJ bit her lip "Got it"
She thought about saying more, anything to just get Emily to stop looking so disappointed in her, but she thought better of it. All that mattered right now was that Jenna was alive, and going back to her husband and kids. Everything else could wait.
Given that there had been an officer involved shooting, she was required to give a statement, and figured the sooner the better. She sought out a local officer that the team had been working with on the case, and gave him her version of events. It didn't take long, and by the time she was done, Morgan and Reid had emerged from the building.
While Reid headed straight for the local officers to give his statement about the shooting, Morgan walked directly to her.
"Let's take a walk"
"Really, it's ok…" she started to protest.
"It wasn't optional" he interrupted firmly.
Sighing, JJ stuck her hands in her back pockets and slowly followed Morgan as he walked away from the crime scene. In her head, everyone's eyes were on her, but in reality, nobody even noticed the two agents heading away from the warehouse.
"So" he started, slowing his pace to allow her to catch up with him "you want to tell me what happened in there?"
"Nothing" she shrugged, glancing back to ensure they were far enough away from the scene so that they wouldn't be overheard "my reaction time was off, that's all. Reid was there to cover, and we got the right outcome"
"Bullshit" he spat "we both know that on this team, you gotta be on it, every damn time. And you always are. You're a damn good shot and your trigger finger didn't even twitch. So don't you start saying your reaction time was off like it's no big deal"
"I'm sorry, ok. I'll get some more time in on the range"
"Seriously JJ. We both know that isn't what this is about. You lost it. It might've been for just a moment, but in that moment, if Reid hadn't been there, Jenna would have died. You know damn well that there are times that only one person has the shot. And we have to be able to count on every member of the team, every fucking time, to take that shot"
"It won't happen again" she looked down, deliberately avoiding his gaze.
"You're right, it won't. Because you're gonna tell me right now what the issue is. Otherwise I'm gonna have to tell Hotch that you can't be trusted in the field"
"Fuck you, Derek"
"Real mature, Jayje. This isn't a game. I'm trying to be your friend here"
"Sure" she scoffed "what with all the running off to Hotch, it really sounds like it"
"Ok" he took a couple of quick strides so that he was ahead of her, before turning to face her with his arms folded "I can feel the hostility radiating off you right now. So you wanna tell me what I've done to get you so pissed off at me?"
"Don't flatter yourself. I just don't appreciate you threatening to tell the boss on me. I thought we were supposed to be a team"
JJ knew she was out of order, but she couldn't help herself. She could feel an intense rage against Morgan burning inside of her. Deep down, she knew that she was being irrational, but that touch...the way that he had looked at Emily...in that moment, she could feel herself hating him.
"A team?" he laughed "We are. And that's exactly the issue here. Team members have each other's backs. And today, you didn't have anybody's back. Reid saved your ass. I need to know that I can count on you, that all of us can count on you"
"Screw you" JJ spat.
"Cut the crap, Jareau. It's me you're talking to. I know you, you know me. And you know that I ain't gonna let this drop. So we can stand here while you throw insults, because I can take them all day long. Or, we could skip that part and get to the bit where you damn well admit what it was that caused you to freeze today"
"Don't…." she shook her head, desperate not to let her resolve crack.
"Talk to me, Jayje" his voice softened "I know something's gotten into your head, and you gotta get it out, man. This isn't like you. You're usually the one kicking all our asses and keeping us in line. Let me help you. Please"
"You can't" she said quietly, looking at the ground "please, can we just leave it? Honestly, I'll sort it and nothing like that will ever happen again"
"JJ" he spoke firmly, waiting for her to slowly lift her eyes "I'm gonna ask you a couple of questions, ok? And I want you to answer me truthfully"
"Ok…" she agreed slowly.
"I'm fairly sure that I've done something to upset you, am I right?"
JJ shrugged "I guess so"
"And as far as I know, we were fine when we walking into that warehouse?"
She took a deep breath "Yeah"
"So what the hell happened?"
"Nothing. Please, let's just leave it. It's done, it's over. Let's just go back"
"No way. If things managed to go from fine, to you missing a shot, in the space of five minutes, I need to know what went on" Morgan pressed her again.
"Please…" her eyes pleaded with him "please don't make me do this"
Slowly, realisation began to dawn on Morgan. Lots of little things from over the past few months began to fall into place. He smiled and reached out to take JJ's hand.
"Baby girl, you gotta tell her"
JJ's brow wrinkled in confusion "What are you talking about?"
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. This whole thing. It's about her. It's always been her"
"Morgan…" she warned.
"You gonna tell me I'm wrong?"
Slowly, JJ shook her head. No matter how much she resisted it, she could feel her deepest secret being revealed, despite the care that she had taken to keep it concealed for so long.
"So, you gonna say it? Or do I have to say it for you?"
She took a deep breath and shook her head again "I...I love her"
Morgan's eyes widened.
"I love Emily" JJ added, this time with more confidence.
"Damn" he exhaled "that's...that's even more than I expected you to say"
Her eyes narrowed "What did you think I was going to say?"
"Don't get me wrong, I knew you liked her. I just...I didn't realise quite how much. But now it all kinda makes sense"
"Well, I'm glad it does to someone"
Morgan stepped forward and pulled the blonde into an embrace. She thought about fighting it for a second, but then relaxed and let her head rest against his chest.
"I'm sorry" he said softly "I had no idea"
She wrapped her arms around him "It's not your fault. I let this happen...I knew what was going on and I just kept letting myself fall deeper"
"Hey, I owe you an apology too. I should have seen what was going on. I should've sensed that I wasn't always exactly the most welcome guest at the party…"
"Hey" she pulled back so that she could look up at him "you were welcome. I promise...I just…"
"You would have rather you were getting some one on one time?" he suggested.
"Yeah" she blushed "not that it wasn't great with you, because it was, but I think I need to draw a line under the whole thing. Whatever happens with...erm, well, with whatever I end up saying to Emily...the three of us, I think it messes with my head too much. I'm sorry"
"I understand. It was fun, I mean, really fun, but it was never meant to be forever"
"But you and Em...you always managed to keep feelings out of it. Then I come along and ruin the whole thing"
"Prentiss and I kept feelings out of it because there weren't any. We always had a deal that if someone came along for one of us that made things change, then we'd end things and just go back to being friends. And so now, I think that time has come"
"Sounds like you're making an awfully big assumption that Emily might remotely feel the same way that I do"
"It doesn't matter. There are feelings involved, and I care about both of you. And so I'm gonna give the both of you the space to figure out what's going on here. For all our sakes"
She scowled and swatted his chest "Too early"
"I gotcha" he kissed her forehead before letting her step back.
"So you really think I should tell her? And risk making things even more complicated?"
"I do" he smiled genuinely "you've kinda crossed that line already. You gotta see this through. And I'm here for you, but as your friend and nothing more"
"Right" she slid her hands back into her pockets "so, I guess we should head back"
"Yeah. And just to warn you, you know you're gonna need to explain yourself to Reid as well as Emily"
She sighed "Yeah, I know. Can't be any worse than doing a press conference, right?"
"I wouldn't know, thankfully" he winked.
They returned to the warehouse, and JJ started by approaching Reid.
"Hey" she smiled shyly.
"Oh, hey Jayje. How are you doing?" he returned the smile sympathetically.
"I'm fine, honestly. Listen, I just wanted to say thank you. For having my back in there"
"Anytime. But…" his brow creased "it just didn't really make much sense to me. You've always been a much better shot than me. I'm not sure I've ever seen you miss an indicator like that"
"I know" she bit her lip "and I'm sorry. Honestly, I've been feeling a bit under the weather since we got here, I just didn't realise it was making my head so foggy. And then something about seeing Jenna...it kinda shook me up for a moment. I feel awful about it, seriously, I should never have put you in that position. I'm really sorry Spence"
"It's ok" he replied genuinely "I'm just glad I was there"
She let out a breath that she hadn't realised she was holding "Me too. More than you could possibly know"
"If you're not feeling great, maybe you should get yourself back to the hotel. I reckon we're pretty much done here"
"Yeah...yeah I guess. How long 'til you're cleared?"
"Just waiting for Morgan to give his statement" Reid nodded to where their teammate was speaking to one of the local officers "but no reason to think it won't be done in the next half an hour"
"Great" she smiled "it was a pretty straightforward shoot"
"Absolutely. Go on, go get yourself some rest"
"If you're sure?"
"I'm sure. I'll see you in the morning"
"Thanks Reid"
The two shared a brief hug, and she waved to Morgan as she made her way over to a police cruiser to ask one of the locals for a ride back to the hotel.
The hotel, where the whole team would be spending the night before catching their flight back to Virginia in the morning. The very same hotel that Emily would be returning to after dropping Jenna at the hospital and reuniting her with her husband. Her physical injuries hadn't seemed too severe, and so there was no reason to believe that the agent would have had to wait around for long.
Which meant only one thing.
There were no more excuses for not talking to Emily.