Christmas morning brought the sound of giggling up and down the hallway outside of Blaine's room where he stared up at the ceiling, wondering if he'd be able to get away with leaving the cottage early and spending the day on the road back home. Blaine had been kicking himself the entire night as he replayed the events in his head. He couldn't believe that he had lost all inhibitions and practically confessed his feelings for his brother's boyfriend, short of hopping on top of the piano and exclaiming to the entire room that he was madly in love with him.
A knock on his door and a gentle reminder of "Present time!" from his mother pushed Blaine out from under the warmth and protection of his covers and to trudge down to the family room to open presents with the family. There were so many of them, and so many children that asking to open gifts one at a time wasn't feasible. Most of the kids had already dumped the contents of their stockings into their laps, beginning to snack on candy or admiring small trinkets left to them by Santa Claus. Blaine sat on a kitchen stool pushed haphazardly against the piano, looking through his own stocking that his mother had prepared for him, filled to the brim with some of his favorite candies and a Prince of Wales tartan bow tie. He thanked her profusely, kissing her cheek and passing her a small, delicately wrapped box that would reveal a Tiffany's blue box when the paper was torn away.
Blaine opened two more bowties from Eloise and Clare, a large four-wick candle that smelled like cypress and pine from his aunts and uncles, and Hamilton tickets from Cooper, who gave him a curt nod when Blaine thanked him, clearly not quite ready to talk to him yet. Blaine didn't mind.
In turn, Blaine watched Eloise and Clare open a gift certificate to a spa near where they lived and a bow-tie that matched one that Blaine had for Jack. He also watched his mom open a new iPad that he and Cooper had gone in on together and Cooper unwrap the whiskey glasses accompanied by a Lagavulin bottle, his favorite. Cooper didn't say thank you, but raised the bottle in acknowledgement.
Kurt was nervously holding three wrapped packages, and he stood to pass them out to Pam, Cooper, and than to Blaine.
"Kurt, you're so sweet, you didn't need to get us anything!" Pam commented, admiring the flawless green wrapping, each tied with a golden ribbon.
Kurt waved her comment off and sat back down, thumbing the hem of the scarf he wore, his gift from Cooper. "It's nothing, really, I'm just … Very grateful to have been here and been able to spend the holidays with your family. I've enjoyed myself very much."
Blaine watched as Pam smiled, and they all carefully peeled back the wrapping, too gorgeous to just tear into. It was a picture frame, Blaine observed, and he turned the frame around so that he could see the picture inside. He saw his mother, Cooper, and a very young version of himself staring back at him in the photo. It was here, Blaine realized, that the picture was taken. They were out on the beach, the cottage a blurry blip in the upper right corner. Pam was crouching by the water in a white sundress and Panama hat. Blaine was sitting in her lap, clad in suspenders and a bow tie, grinning a broad, toothless smile at the camera. Cooper stood behind Pam, his arms wrapped around her neck. Pam was laughing, one hand wrapped around Blaine and the other holding tight to Cooper's arm around her. The sight of the picture made Blaine's eyes well with tears.
The Anderson family really didn't do family pictures, and when they did they were very stiff. They would wear all black, sit formally with polite smiles on. This was a jarring juxtaposition, a photo he had never seen before. Pam had a hand raised to her lips, holding back a couple of tears herself, "Oh, this is wonderful," She said quietly, looking up at Kurt who looked more relaxed now that he knew they enjoyed the picture, "Where did you find this?"
"It was in one of the photo albums in the living room," Kurt explained, "I thought it was so beautiful."
Cooper's tense shoulders had a loosened a little, and he gave Kurt a kiss on the temple.
"It is beautiful, Kurt. Thank you," Blaine said sincerely, offering him a tender smile that was effortlessly reciprocated.
A large breakfast was served after every last present under the tree had been unwrapped, and most of the day was left to enjoy presents and prepare for the evening. The cottage was home to a rather grand, formal Christmas night soirée for the other families they had come to know through the years. It had been annoying when he was a kid, as it meant putting his toys away, putting on a suit, and eating fancy foods that he didn't particularly like. Now, however, he was dreading it for a couple of other reasons. One in particular being that there wouldn't be anywhere to hide from his family's prying eyes.
Blaine had gotten the short end of the stick and was stuck with the last shower before the party. He could hear the chatter from downstairs growing louder as more guests arrived as he got ready in front of the mirror, possibly going a little overboard with the gel as he often did when he felt nervous. He adjusted the tartan bowtie his mother had given him one final time before heading downstairs.
There were lots of unfamiliar faces scattered amongst his family and the few people he did still remember from his childhood Christmases spent in the small town, and he made sure to smile brightly as he joined the crowd, shaking hands and learning new names. He was making his way slowly to the kitchen, stopping every now and then to mingle with the attendees of the party. He was talking to an older man who had been good friends with his grandfather before his passing a few years back when he spotted Sebastian looking as if he was making his way towards him over the man's shoulder.
As politely as possible, Blaine cut him off, "I am so sorry, do you mind if I catch up with you in a few minutes? I just spotted my mother looking like she needs some help in the kitchen."
Before the man could accept his excuse, Blaine quickly maneuvered his way around the crowd and into the kitchen, hopefully disappearing out of Sebastian's sight so he wouldn't be followed in. Truthfully, his mom wasn't in the kitchen, but as Blaine made his way inside he saw that the only person who was in there was Cooper. He was leaning up against the kitchen island, eyes focused on his phone as his thumbs moved quickly across the keys. He didn't seem to notice Blaine walk in.
Blaine wasn't sure exactly where it came from, they easily could have shared the kitchen without having to speak until one of them decided to rejoin the party. He knew Cooper was mad at him, and anything he said would was bound to make it all much, much worse.
"Let me guess. Mandy?"
Cooper didn't hesitate, "Don't even start with me," He warned, standing up straight and pocketing his phone. He moved around the kitchen and made to walk out.
Blaine grabbed onto his brother's arm, "You know what, no," He said, "I am going to start, because I'm not going to let you get away with treating Kurt like this-"
"Oh my God," Cooper exclaimed, his voice raising significantly, and he jabbed a finger into Blaine's chest, "Don't you dare even talk to me about how I'm "treating" people when we both know exactly what you've been doing this entire trip and you didn't even have the fucking guts to come and talk to me about it."
Blaine recoiled slightly, watching as Cooper pushed the swinging door to the kitchen open and disappeared back out to the party. He couldn't stop himself. He stormed through the door shortly after Cooper did, "You don't even love him!"
Cooper didn't miss a beat, "Oh, okay, and you do?"
The room had fallen silent. Every conversation ceased and people were turning around to look at the fight unfold before them. Blaine's hands were balled into fists as he stared at his brother, and he was speaking before he could fully acknowledge the scene they were making, "I do," He exclaimed, his shoulders falling at the weight of the admission being lifted from them, "Okay? I am so unbelievably, entirely in love with him and every second since I've met him I can't believe my own goddamn bad luck that you found him first!"
For the first time in the entire argument, Cooper looked at a loss for words. Blaine was staring at him, chest heaving. He felt every single pair of eyes in the room on him, but he didn't want to back down. He held Cooper's gaze, watched as his brother's eyes slowly filled with sadness. He broke the gaze first, looking over at the far corner of the room, and Blaine followed his gaze to a shocked Kurt, who was holding the stem of a champagne glass with a vice-like grip, his knuckles white. Cooper looked back to Blaine, before shaking his head, his face angry as he turned and stalked out of the room, disappearing up the stairs.
A hand curled its way around Blaine's upper arm, pulling him back towards the kitchen as one of his flustered uncles called for the party to resume. It sounded like his voice came from miles and miles away. Blaine allowed himself to be pliable, to be redirected back towards the kitchen. It was Eloise, whose flushed cheeks matched the formal pink dress she wore. He leaned over the table once they reached the kitchen, holding his head in his hands.
Eloise didn't say much, she rubbed his back lightly and murmured words of encouragement. They stayed there for what felt like forever, until the party had died down a few hours later and the aunts and uncles were beginning to clean up. Some avoided eye contact with him, others gave him a pat on the shoulder or a sympathetic word. Blaine just wanted to go back upstairs, disappear underneath the duvet on his bed and stay there until every other person had left the cottage. He felt embarrassed, like he had ruined the entire party, but more so he felt guilt. He had hurt so many people.
Pam entered the kitchen, holding a large platter that once held a Christmas ham Uncle Steve had spent all day baking, now only holding a bit of garnish. She set the platter down, wiped her hands on a dish towel and walked over to Blaine, her heels clacking against the linoleum flooring. She encouraged him to go upstairs, maybe it'd be a good idea to lay low for a while. He didn't argue. Bow tie undone and hanging loosely around his neck, Blaine trudged slowly up the stairs, avoiding eye contact with everyone as he went. As he passed Cooper and Kurt's room, he found the door open. Cooper was sitting on the edge of his bed, elbows resting on his knees and hands clasped together in front of him. Cooper didn't look up, but he spoke as Blaine stopped in front of his doorway.
"Kurt left. He said to tell you goodbye."
Blaine closed his eyes for a brief moment, feeling a head ache creeping in, "Coop, I-"
"Just go, Blaine," Cooper breathed, finally looking up to meet Blaine's eyes, "It's okay. Go after him."
Blaine hesitated, waited for Cooper to take it back. But he didn't. Cooper offered him the weakest of smiles, and Blaine's heart ached in that moment for his brother.
"Seriously. Go."
In an instant, Blaine was turning on his heel, running down the stairs and bursting through the front door to a blizzard raging outside.
Blaine's eyes searched around in the dark for any sign of Kurt. Truthfully, he didn't have to look very far. Kurt was standing at the bottom of the driveway, looking practically unfazed by the harshly swirling snow, phone in his hand, "Wait!" He called out, and the pale man turned over his shoulder, a deep frown on his features. Only the moon and the flickering porch light lit his path. Blaine broke out into a slow jog, mindful of the ice and snow beneath his Oxfords, making it even slicker, "I love you, Kurt. Please ... Please don't go."
"Blaine," Kurt breathed out, though Blaine could hardly hear him over the sound of the wind.
Cheeks wet with tears (when he began crying, Blaine wasn't sure) and stinging from the snowflakes bouncing against them, Blaine reached forward to cup Kurt's face in his hands. Kurt's eyes closed, and he leaned his cheek gently into Blaine's gentle hold. His own gloved fingers held onto the hem of Blaine's suit jacket. They allowed their foreheads to connect, and as Kurt opened his eyes to meet Blaine's, love coursed through Blaine's entire body. He wanted so badly to close the remaining gap, press his lips to Kurt's, hold him even closer, to never let go. But Kurt was shaking his head, "I can't. I have to go. This is ... It's too much."
Blaine swallowed, hands loosening as Kurt took a step backwards. A pair of headlights shone in their direction from a small distance away, driving slowly to avoid any slick spots on the road. He nodded, at a loss for words. Kurt stared at him sadly, and Blaine knew the sadness he was feeling was shared by the other man.
"I'm sorry," Kurt said, his voice more sincere than Blaine had ever heard it, "I made such a mess of everything. I hurt Cooper and you and I ruined your family's holiday. I never meant-"
"No, Kurt, it was me. I'm the one that should be sorry."
The car rolled to a slow stop in front of the driveway of the cottage, and Kurt glanced over his shoulder at it. He lifted his hand in a quick gesture to let the car know he was the one they were there to pick up, before turning back to Blaine and giving him a small, sad smile. The driver of the car got out to help Kurt load his suitcase in the trunk, and Blaine watched numbly from the driveway. As Kurt opened the rear passenger side door, he gave Blaine a final look, raising a hand in a wave goodbye, "Merry Christmas, Blaine."
Blaine took a deep breath, swallowed the urge to beg him one last time to stay, and then waved back, "Merry Christmas."
He didn't move as Kurt climbed into the car and buckled his seatbelt. He didn't move when he heard the car shift back into gear, and began its slow descent back down the quiet, snow covered road. He didn't want to turn around and walk back into the house until he had to, until the car was out of view, his socks were wet from the snow, and his fingers felt frostbitten.
The car was only halfway down the street when the bright red brake lights flashed. Blaine's heart skipped a beat. He watched as the door Kurt was nearest to opened, and Kurt was stepping out of it. Blaine didn't wait - He broke out into a jog, slow and careful like before but with more urgency in his step. Kurt was walking quickly towards him as well, and came to a stop when they were within arms reach of each other.
Blaine waited, his heart pounding in his chest, and Kurt looked as though he was summoning every inch of his courage before he finally uttered, "I was just wondering ... What you're doing for New Years."
He wasn't sure what exactly happened next, whether he went in first or if Kurt did. Blaine broke into the largest smile he could remember for the entire trip, but it didn't last long as his lips finally - finally - found Kurt's. His hands found themselves back on Kurt's cheeks, warmer than before, but just barely, from the heater in the car. Kurt's arms wrapped around him, caressing his back. Their lips glided together smoothly, overlapping with Blaine's bottom lip caressed tenderly between Kurt's. It wasn't exactly perfect. Blaine's lips were chapped, and their noses bumped together slightly as they deepened the kiss. But it was everything.
As they reluctantly separated, they wore identical smiles. Blaine swept a stray hair off of Kurt's forehead, and Kurt stuttered out a couple of reasons why he had to go. They parted, with the promise that Kurt would see him soon, for New Years Eve. As Kurt climbed back into the car and once again took off down the street, Blaine watched him go, numb from the cold and Kurt's kiss, and knew if he had to go back to the beginning and fall in love with Kurt all over again, he would do it in a heartbeat.