The sacrifices one makes
Chapter 7
The other side of the same coin
Well, here we are, Chapter 7 I'm glad you guys enjoyed Chapter 6, just one thing I want to set straight I'm not a Shaw and Sarah supporter never have been, I just don't see why Shaw should be so hated, yeah he became a villain and he did a lot of bad stuff but as a person who has watched Naruto, I'm an otaku sorry, Shaw reminds me of Obito who just like Shaw lost the love of his life and that's what led him to want destruction of course the difference is that Obito changes but my point still stands, as for Sarah and Shaw staying together longer than in canon well Chuck never gave her the 'I love you' speech and they never went to Washington cause they are in charge of bringing Chuck in so they stayed for a bit longer but Sarah never loved him that's why she didn't feel anything when Shaw broke things off with her in fact she regretted the fact she had not ended it sooner or that's what I tried to portray in the last chapter, any way as I said thanks for reading I'm a simple guy, a comment here a favorite there and I'm happy it seems kinda funny but its true so thanks for sticking with me in this story.
I DON'T OWN CHUCK, if I did I would have made Chuck a little bit more reserved when it came to emotions, seriously he was waaaaay too sentimental just my opinion.
(I'll be good by Jaymes young)
The room felt so cold and empty, the only sign of someone living there was a lazy boy and a bottle of Spirytus vodka perched on a stool, the sun was beginning to set and the last rays of the sun seemed out of place in this room, it was as if light had no place here, the dweller and owner of this small room was darkness itself and it did not take kindly to sharing this little slice of hell.
If someone were to try to paint the scene in front of them with one word, dark.
Pain and anguish stuck to the walls like a second coat of paint, in the far right corner facing a computer screen sat a hunched figured clad in black, as if personifying death itself.
If God existed in the world He didn't exist in this room, there was already on deity there, created by the pain, fear and anguish of all the men killed by his own hands.
(You can stop listening here, personally I think you can listen for a while longer this scene goes well with the song)
Chuck gazed into the monitor, hands entwined and placed under his chin, his heart ached and his stomach churned his whole being was in pain and it was all because of the beautiful goddess that could be seen on the screen, it had been seven months since he left and supposedly betrayed his country when in reality he was giving everything so that his family stayed safe, so that his one and only true love could reach freedom at the cost of his life.
Chuck's supposed three year plan was becoming shorter and shorter but it had come with a cost, he was no longer the same man from seven months ago, seven months ago holding a gun was inconceivable, seven months ago taking a life was unfathomable, seven months ago he saw the world as it ought to be but now he saw it as it was, the world was a dark hole where light couldn't escape, where creation was meant to be destroyed, where the devil preferred to stay away from.
Chuck couldn't take the pain anymore so he stood up and reached for the vodka, drinking from the bottle he relished the burning sensation in his chest, he needed the hardest drink as much as he needed to breath now a days, the memories of everything he had done plagued him day in and day out, he could not sleep and he could not eat, everything he ate would not stay down for long and in his small moments in which he did sleep he could see all the people he had killed, the fact that these people were demons dressed as humans didn't liberate him, he had seen such horrible things that the memories themselves made the vile in his throat choke him, he had to push it down each and every day whenever he remembered the faces of the woman and children he had seen being pushed into a dingy boat being sent to god knows where just because the men doing it had some sort of power, he had to push down the vile whenever he remembered standing in the background while a man was being beheaded in front of him and in front of a camera, and each time he would just stand there and do nothing.
Chuck saw his reflection on the window of his one room apartment and he hated what he saw, his hair was back to the way it was 3 years ago disheveled and made weird animal figures as his sister would say, he had not shaved in a while but since his facial hair grew slowly at this point in time you could see the stubble appearing and the dark circles under his eyes indicated he had not slept in a long time.
Chuck was tired, mentally and physically he was worn out and he could feel his sanity slowly slipping away, he walked towards the computer screen but his objective was not to take his seat once more, it was to grab the picture that sat on the desk, he traced Sarah's features with his index finger and he could slowly feel his sanity return, in his darkest moments when he felt the walls collapsing around him and his sanity was beginning to slip away all he had to do was look at this photo of her and him together, it was of the time in Halloween when she appeared in her princess lea costume, he missed those time more than anything else he missed hearing her laugh and seeing her smile, he even missed hearing her lecture him.
He put the photo back in its place and as he was taking his seat once more his screen began loading up a visual feed.
"Chuck we need to talk"
Casey once more greeted Chuck with the no bullshit attitude as he always did whenever they had a meeting, Chuck could already feel the headache coming from the chewing out he was going to receive, he could tell Casey was in one of his foul moods, it most likely had something to do with the wounded shoulder or the embarrassment he continuously caused the older agent.
Whatever the reason Casey was already giving him the most deadly glare, if glares could kill he would be seven feet under.
"Casey, not right now, I don't need more problems I got enough on my plate as it is"
Casey was not having it, it had been almost an entire month since the last report, he was never going to admit it but he was worried as hell for Chuck, the kid was in way too deep and by the looks of it he was hanging on by a thread.
"Chuck, you need to rest"
Casey's tone was softer than when he started the chat but it still held the gruffness that a seasoned marine would have, if it where anyone else they would have never noticed but Chuck did and acknowledged the fact that he must look terrible.
"Casey you know I can't…Back to the business at hand I'm guessing you're wondering about the report of Shaw right?"
Casey wanted to push harder on the fact that the kid needed to rest but decided not to, when he became such a mother he would never know and he would never acknowledge it.
"Yeah, what was he going on about, don't tell me you've decided to actually learn some martial arts these past few months"
Chuck gave an imperceptible chuckle and shook his head, Casey had somehow become an anchor for him, every once in a while Casey would get a laugh out of him and every time he did it was like getting a medal of the highest honor in his book, Chuck didn't laugh much anymore whenever he did it was like a reminder that he was still human.
"Casey… there is something I haven't told you… something that I should have told you from the beginning but I didn't have a firm understanding of it till now"
…Flashback…
They say the eyes are the windows to the soul, when Chuck gazed into the brown orbs of the man in front of him he did not see a soul, he saw a darkness that if left uncontrolled would taint and consume everything in its path, Chuck did not step down and focused his gaze even harder, the longer one stares into the abyss the sooner he is consumed if it meant ending this war he would dive head first.
The Director stood still sizing the newest recruit, seeing if the boy was all the reports said he was, apparently Charles Carmichael was a rising star in the NSA, quick witted and incredibly smart and also capable of thinking on his feet, The Director could see the boy was not backing down in this silent standoff of gazes, usually he would have killed any man that did that but the boy was new he didn't know better… he gave the boy a couple more seconds before he shot a hole through his head, it would be his good deed of the year.
Chuck could see the man reach for his gun and decided to speak up to try and diffuse the situation.
"I assume you're the man who I spoke to over the phone"
The Director simply chuckled and took a firm hold on his gun
"Why yes actually, and you must be the young fellow who thought it smart to come unarmed"
In an instant Chuck saw a GLOCK 19 aimed at his head and he acted quickly by rolling forward, a gunshot echoed around the walls of the abandoned car factory, seeing that his shot missed The Director aim once more for the young agent but was too late in pulling the trigger as Chuck grabbed him by his wrist and pushed the gun upwards, Chuck didn't need to flash because of the fact he had seen this move many times in movies and a couple of times he had seen Casey do it, slamming his knee into the shorter man's gut he felt the wrist go limp and saw the gun drop, he pushed the shorter man onto the floor and picked up the gun forcing himself to not tremble and pointed the barrel of the gun at the man on the floor.
"Well as you can see I don't need a gun when you already brought yours"
The Director struggled to catch his breath, the young man really was quick witted and thought on his feet, maybe the ring could find some use for him other than research on the intersect.
"Well boy you're right why bring a gun when your adversary has already brought his but there is one thing you need to take into account every time you meet someone who doesn't have your best interests in mind, want to know what that is"
Chuck saw a red laser pointed at his chest and froze
"Backup"
The Director stood up and brushed off of the dirt that stained his suit chuckling as he did so and gazed at the young agent.
"Usually I would shoot you and be done with this but you have piqued my interest, what say you we take this meeting somewhere more comfortable"
The Director turned around and the laser on Chuck's chest disappeared, putting the GLOCK 19 behind his back he followed the older man into a room dimly lit and thought for a moment what the older man meant when he said "comfortable" no sooner did he think that when the wall in front of him moved to the side to reveal an elevator.
Chuck could only marvel as he stepped out the elevator once they had reached the lowest floor, they had entered a room in which all forms of art where in display from paintings to sculptures and in the middle of everything was a large table made of pure mahogany, the ornaments that sat on top of it seemed to be made of pure gold, reaching a hand he touched one of them and nodded,
'Yup that's gold'
"I believe this meeting deserves a good bottle of champagne what say you"
Chuck was brought out of his thoughts when he noticed the bottle of a 1820 Juglar Cuvee in the older man's hands, nodding his head he stepped forward to accepts his offer.
"Of course, but why bring out the bottle when we haven't discussed anything?"
The Director laughed as he poured wine into two glasses
"Well if we come to a good agreement we can finish this one and get another and if we don't well you can call this your last meal"
Handing the glass to Chuck he took a sip of his and continued
"So what do you know about the intersect"
…flashback end…
"We spoke about the intersect the entire night as mentioned before in my first report, he would ask questions and I would answer to the best of my knowledge, it seemed like he was pleased with my answers and we agreed on what my job would be until further notice…"
Chuck stayed quite for a moment as if lost in the memory,
"As previously mentioned in my reports I was sent on errands mostly in the first few days, nothing big, a suitcase here an envelope there sometimes I would transport a seasoned agent, during that time I was being monitored as I did these errands and also when I was working in the lab, but then The Director sent me to Beijing"
…Flashback…
"Morning Charles, I hope everything is going well for you"
Chuck had entered the office expecting another errand but something about this meeting seemed different, specifically speaking The Director was not facing him as he usually was instead he was gazing at the view his office provided for him.
"Everything is going well, the people in the research department have been making progress in the development of the intersect, my estimates show that in six months we will have our very first intersected agent"
Chuck was lying of course, ever since he was put on the team of researchers he had been both researching how the intersect worked and sabotaging some parts so that the first agent that was put to be intersected would come out the same as he had entered, no one would suspect him because of the fact he was only a researcher, they didn't know that since it was a computer holding the information of the intersect project he had free reign to hack in and give out incorrect information.
He couldn't help but marvel at the complexity of the program that was subliminally encoded into the brain of its recipient.
The first intersect was a program that stored information in the brain directly into the hippocampus instead of the frontal lobe where the short term memory resided, not only did it store memory it also had the capacity of bringing it to the frontal lobe as if were something you had just memorized, that was what the first intersect was capable of doing, intersect 2.0 did the same but kicked up a notch, instead of simply bringing up a memory intersect 2.0 had the capacity of sending signals throughout the brain giving him the ability to use different forms of martial arts.
The brain was not like a computer in any way or form, making a comparison between the two was an insult to the brain, a computer was fast in its process to search up information but it couldn't hold a candle to the signals sent from the brain to any part of the body, everything that the body did was because of the brain, the intersect was a program that sped up the neurons in the brain so that whatever you memorized didn't simply come up to the frontal lobe as a memory it also came as a signal to cerebellum, while the frontal lobe controls movement in general the cerebellum fine-tuned the movements.
In other words the intersect was not only a catalyst to produce memories of information it also made the brain send signals to his body to make certain moves, when he spoke different languages it was because the intersect sent signals to the frontal lobe and the temporal lobe giving him the ability to not only speak different languages but also understand them, everything he was capable of doing was because his brain had it memorized and the intersect was capable of putting that memory into action as if he had trained his entire life to do karate, jujitsu, capoeira any and every form of martial arts where ingrained into his memory that's why even when he didn't flash he was capable of knowing and yet not knowing how to do the moves, he knew because he could explain the movements what muscles where used, what form he had to take so on and so forth but he didn't know because the intersect was in charge of the moves themselves, the intersect sent signals to the certain muscles needed to complete a punch, a kick or a flip it was strange to know and not know how to fight, it was a contradiction in of itself but when it came to the intersect nothing made sense.
Chuck was so lost in his thoughts of the intersect he had not notice The Director standing in front of him, when he did he shook himself from his dazed state and cleared his throat.
"I'm so sorry Director, my head is still thinking about how the intersect works and what could be done to improve it"
The Director simply shook his head and chuckled, the young agent was always thinking about work he was always the first in the lab and the last to leave it, that was if he ever did, some times it was as if the boy lived there from all the nights he would stay sitting in front of the computer screen as information scrolled down.
"I swear Charles, if it weren't because I liked you I would have shot you by now from all the times you seem to be ignoring what I'm saying"
Another chuckled escaped his lips as The Director turned around and went back to his desk
"As I was saying, the people running the Ring have been pleased with the development of the intersect project and not only are they pleased, they are beginning to take notice of you and your talents"
Chuck simply stood taller, acting as if he felt honored to being noticed when in reality he didn't, he felt scared, the more he got closer to learning about the heads of the Ring syndicate the more dangerous it was going to be, the first time he had heard of The Elders it was by a passing comment by one of the agents who had entered the lab he had flashed instantly and figured out that the heads consisted of top leaders in the intelligence community he had stowed away that information for when he gave his next report to Casey
"So am I going to be sent on actual missions instead of being a glorified mailman?"
Chuck had been waiting for this moment, to be given the chance to go up the latter to a higher position the higher he went the more dangerous it got but it also gave him the ability to gather more information the sooner he had it the sooner he could relay it to Casey.
"That is the reason you are hear, a team needs to be stationed on the other side of the world to handle our affairs there, you wouldn't be in a position of authority but you would be doing some very important things, you would still be a 'mailman' of sorts but the information you would be handling would be of the utmost importance, not only that but it seems your first task is in Beijing, apparently the Chinese Syndicate is having a meeting, the heads of many families are gathering to make a truce, our bosses don't seem to be fond of this idea so they want you to send a message to them the details are on this envelope"
The Director pushed an envelope on his desk forward for Chuck to take it, Chuck did so with gusto and stood at attention.
"Agent Carmichael, you will be representing me on the other side of the world, don't fail me"
Chuck stared into The Directors eyes and nodded, usually the person who had a staring contest with The Director ended up dead but Chuck had proved himself to be of high importance so The Director gave him the honor of doing it, it didn't mean he did it all the time looking into The Directors eyes was like taking a dip into the abyss, the more you stared the more you felt tainted and at this point Chuck felt his soul beginning to suffocate.
Chuck turned and headed out the door and began to plan what he was going to need for the plane ride to Beijing.
…
'Well this wasn't what I was expecting'
Chuck thought as bullets flew over him, regretting coming alone
After getting off the private jet that had transported him to China he had already read and studied his orders on the plane so now all he had to do was go to the meeting that was being held and let them know the Ring, who until recently had been funding their illegal trading, was not going to stand by while they started this little revolt.
Chuck, up until he had entered the building in which the meeting was going to be held, felt fully briefed and confident that everything was going to go as planned, rounding a corner he came face to face to a group of men who seemed to be discussing important matters and flashed to learn mandarin
"Wo lai daibiao fanyi de jiezhi"
No sooner had the words left his mouth that men left and right began taking out their guns, all pointed at him, all of them began to scream at him to put his hands behind his head and to get on the ground Chuck didn't understand what was going on and felt his pulse quicken, he ran and hid behind some crates no sooner did he reach his destiny when bullets began to whiz past him hitting the crates and the opposing wall, Chuck felt his heart beat faster with each passing second, he couldn't calm his nerves and the signs of a panic attack began to appear, up until recently his only job was to send a message to fellow Ring operatives, why is it that the Ring decided to send him to do this errand, did they not know that the Chinese Syndicate was going to literally kill the messenger or had they sent him with the knowledge that he was not going to live past today had they figured out that he was a double agent, or did they simply not need him anymore.
These thoughts plagued his mind as his breathing became more and more erratic the panic engulfed him and he couldn't flash his emotions where running rampant, he couldn't find his center and his hands would not stop trembling.
(Watch Me Bleed Ft. The Julianno, this song fits this scene I think)
All of a sudden the world slowed down, Chuck opened his eyes and he could see the bullets in mid-air passing the crates in trajectory towards the farthest wall, his hands had stopped trembling, his breathing had calmed down and he could feel his heart take a calming rhythm, his body began to move on its own and time returned to its proper state as chaos ensued, the gun that he had on him had always been for show that included the four magazines hidden in his suit but this time he could see his hand reach behind his back grabbing said weapon and begin shooting with deadly accuracy, not a single bullet was wasted as each met its mark, one by one the gunmen began falling as a bullet went through their heads, it all felt like a dream, he could feel the corners of his mouth begin to turn upwards as he began smiling and after that merry laughter began to flow out.
'What's going on? Why is my body moving on its own?'
He could see, feel and hear everything happening around him, but it didn't feel like it was him moving the body, his body was on autopilot and he was along for the ride, his body ejected the first mag and just as fast put in a new one all the bullets that where being shot at him seemed to whiz past him no a single one was able to graze him as he expertly dodged them never taking cover, his body continued to laugh as if it was having the time of its life, as if it were doing what it enjoyed the most, the adrenaline flowed chaotically in his system and his body enjoyed it like a sweet drug, another mag ejected out and replaced, he could see the panic in the eyes of the remaining 14 men, some began to run away and where quickly taken out before taking their second step, another mag was ejected out and replaced faster than the eye could blink, finally the only people left where the heads of the syndicate families and the last of forty men who kept firing at him even though his gun had no more bullets, Chuck's eyes focused on the puddle that was beginning to form at the man's feet and the order given to him by the elders began to run through his head.
"Wo lai daibiao fanyi de jiezhi" (I come representing the ring)
His body once more began to act on its own, the words coming from his mouth weren't words he had flashed on
"Tamen you yige xunxi yao gei ni de erzimen" (They have a message for your sons)
Putting the gun away behind his back he drew near the last man standing, by now his pale complexion indicated he had given up hope
"Ni xiang zhu Ma?" (Do you want to live?)
For a moment a glimpse of hope spread though the man's features as he nodded forgetting about the men behind him who he had sworn on his honor to protect, there was no such thing as honor when facing death
"Dai gei wo tamen ne tou" (Bring me their heads)
In that moment any sign of hope was gone and in its place utter horror and fear, Chuck once more took out his gun to demonstrate he was not kidding, one of the heads tried to run but was shot immediately before he could take a second step letting everyone know they were all going to die whether it be by a bullet or be decapitation, they began to plead and beg for mercy but it seemed like his body wasn't accepting any of it instead it took out the empty mag and put in the last one, in an instant the men were on the floor grabbing their wounded legs and crying out in pain.
Chuck's eyes focused on a piece of medal the length of his arm that seemed to have a sharp edge and he could feel the laugher escape his body, it was maniacal and it hurt his stomach from how much his body was laughing and just as it started it immediately stopped, he stared down the man who stood before him and without a word simply pointed with his hand at the piece of medal letting the man know what he wanted, the man turned and walked toward the instrument that was going to end lives, his gaze seemed as if his mind was somewhere else his body moved sluggish as he dragged his feet, sweat poured down his pale face as he took hold of the makeshift sword and walked towards the men who were huddling together as much as they could, they began to plead for mercy and Chuck watched with both enjoyment and horror.
One by one the heads would fly off after continuous chops, the executioner's hands began to bleed by how hard he was gripping the makeshift sword, the blood of his employers soaked him from head to toe and his body began to tremble at that moment he didn't care what happened anymore in fact he wanted a bullet to end the images in his head he walked towards the closest wall and lean against it as his body began going into shock his eyes focused on Chuck little by little he began seeing something different he no longer saw a man he saw the harbinger of death itself.
"Sishen"
…FLASHBACK END…
Casey didn't know what to say, Chuck had not told him what had happened in Beijing only that his dreams kept him up all night, after Beijing his team had not encountered such carnage, a dead body here and there but never on the scale of what happened in Beijing.
"I was able to gain control of my body as soon as I was out of the building, when The Elders heard of what happened they appointed me as their new attack dog so to speak, ever since then my job has been to deal with people who have gotten out of line or to take out the competition not to mention agents who had been caught sending secretes to their respective agencies, apparently Beijing was a happy accident in the sense it was never planned but the message had been sent"
Chuck felt the vile in his throat come up but he took a gulp of the vodka that he was holding and calmed down.
"It was after I got this new title that I met Shaw's wife, The Elders had grown suspicious of her actions and put me to investigate"
Chuck tightened his hold on the bottle of vodka
"Casey everything I told Shaw was a lie, I never touched his wife and she is still alive"
Casey knew the kid was telling the truth but why did he lie to Shaw, as of late Chuck had gotten really good at reading faces so Casey didn't have to wait for an answer to his unasked question.
"The ring wants to turn Shaw, the reason I know is because ever since Beijing I've gone up the ranks especially because all my assignments have been completed perfectly at the moment there are very few people who outrank me, in the meeting we discussed the plan to ambush Shaw and bring him to one of our Ring facilities, he would then be subjected to watching an edited video of Sarah killing Evelyn, doing so would have made Shaw go crazy and Sarah would have been in danger, that's why I did what I did, it's better for the target to be focused on me, the Ring doesn't know of this so when Shaw does get captured you guys will be getting the biggest bust since we first began this operation, the plan has not been put into effect just yet when it does I'll let you know through our secured feed"
Chuck took another drink from the bottle of vodka, he knew the drink was going to kill him but it was the only thing that kept the demons at bay, he focused his gaze on the monitor and noticed the disappointment in Casey's eyes but said nothing,
"Evelyn and I met at a restaurant, presumably to figure out who was the mole, when she was distracted I dosed her drink with truth serum so when she took a sip all I did was ask if she was the mole, without even noticing she answered truthfully and I tranqued her"
Chuck would not meet Casey's gaze as he confessed everything
"Before I ousted her to the Ring I brought her to a hotel and waited till she came to once she was awake I told her my plan, she was incredulous of course, who would believe that getting shot in the head is a good idea?"
Casey stayed quite as he heard Chuck give his report, it wasn't the first time Chuck had done this and it wasn't going to be the last.
"One would believe a head shot is a certain death kind of situation but the thing is there have been many testimonies of people getting shot in the head and surviving, having the intersect amplifies the odds of surviving, I was able to convince her after letting her know I had done this before with many double agents who had been caught I even told her I was the intersect and that everything was going to be fine, when we stood before the council we did as we planned and since the meeting was being done as a video conference there wasn't anyone to check her body, once everything was finished I carried her out and drove her to a undisclosed hospital, no one knows where the hospital is but me she's awake but she's still recuperating, once she has, her orders are to stay hidden and to not contact anyone but you so I'm going to need you to help her disappear until this operation is finished"
Casey nodded and grunted an acknowledgment, Chuck had done this before for many agents that had tried but failed to sneak into the ranks of the Ring, there are many bunkers consisting of agents under protective custody Mrs. Shaw wasn't going to be the last of them that was for sure, Chuck had become the way out for many who were in too deep, to many Chuck was a hero but to the rest he was a monster and that ate at Casey daily because of the fact that Chuck didn't deserve this if the Kid died no one would know, no star would be mounted on the wall no honorary funeral, nothing, just a ditch in some undisclosed area, pushing that feeling down he continued.
"Did you figure out what it was that made you lose control?"
Chuck rubbed his head a habit he had picked up, as if doing so would lessen the stress and anxiety he felt, letting out a breath he nodded to Casey's question
"The times in which I would lose control of my body began to escalate as I began to do tougher missions and also when I began facing all of you guys, I contacted my dad when I wasn't able to figure it out on my own… let's just say he wasn't happy"
…FLASHBACK…
"Are you out of your mind Charles!?"
Stephen Bartowski was a very quiet man, the man was the shining example of what it means to use your inside voice but at this moment he was throwing caution to the wind and using muscles in his vocal cords that he had never used before.
"Charles I took out the first intersect out of your brain because of the fact that I didn't want you to live this life and yet not only did you download the intersect 2.0 you are now using it to infiltrate a criminal organization hell bent on controlling and manipulating the events around the world"
Stephen was angry, he may not have the right of doing so considering he had left his own children, but what else could a worried parent feel in this type of situation.
"Dad… I don't need your criticism or your permission what I need are answers what is happening to me"
Chuck kept his tone even but even Stephen knew that under all the façade of calmness raged an insurmountable storm of emotions that threaten to drown him out, Stephen always knew his son was special but at this moment Chuck was showing a strength that he as a father could never muster, Stephen let out a shaky breath as he tried to calm down his own nerves.
"Son, there is something you need to know… you're not the first person to have received the intersect, a while back a scientist named Hartley Winterbottom was the first test subject to receive the intersect, he was my friend at the time but when he downloaded the first intersect he… changed, the purpose of the first intersect was to ingrain a different identity inside the brain of the person who was intersected but something went wrong, Hartley went insane, he truly believed himself to be what the intersect said he was, a killer, a war monger an evil and insane man hell bent on causing chaos"
Stephen couldn't control his trembling hands as he told this story to his son, when Chuck told him of what happened in Beijing how his body simply began moving on its own without him flashing it made him fear the worst
"It seems that when I was helping create the intersect 2.0 they implemented the same idea that was used in the first test subject in the sense that a different entity takes control, the difference is that you can shut it down, your capable of entering into this state of being and exit out of it "
Stephen truly hated the fact that Chuck had downloaded the newest intersect but at the same time he couldn't help but marvel at the fact that his son was able to surmount the unsurmountable, to literally do the impossible, Chucks brain was in control of how the intersect worked not the other way around.
"Son you need to know something, the intersect is information injected directly into the brain it's a program first and foremost, your brain is amazing but just like any other brain there is a limit to how much mental stress you can handle before going insane, in China there is a growing rate of suicide simply because they mentally can't handle the pressure that surrounds them your brain is no different in this regard add the intersect to this equation and you're a ticking time bomb just waiting to explode"
Chuck knew his dad was right, he had been feeling unbalanced for a while not to mention the headaches that seemed to have multiplied after each flash
"What do you suggest I do dad"
Stephen wanted to say 'run away' but he knew Chuck would cut the feed and ignore him completely so instead of saying that he decided to do something else, help him
"Son, I want to show you something"
Extending his arm out he pushed back the sleeve of his shirt to show a worn down watch
"I call it the governor, as you most likely already know, the intersect uses the neurons of the brain to send information to the frontal lobe of the brain at high speeds the thing is that in doing so also destroys those same neurons, usually the brain can fix that but since the intersect destroys the neurons faster than what the brain can heal it causes the brain to basically shut down to preserve itself, in doing so you either become insane or a vegetable, the governor helps by helping the brain speed up the healing process of said neurons and also by slowing down the speed in which the intersect sends the neurons"
Chuck could only watch in awe as his dad explained his newest invention
"When can you send me one?"
Stephen could only smile at his son's astonishment and he chuckled
"Give me two weeks a month tops and soon you will have your very own governor"
…FLASHBACK END…
Casey once more didn't know what to say, amazed, perplexed, astonished all those words weren't able to explain how gob smacked he felt, when Chuck said that his intersect was specifically designed for infiltration missions he wasn't kidding.
"Chuck, do you mean to tell me that when we're facing you, in reality we're facing the intersect?"
Chuck nodded his head unable to wrap his head around, months of research not only that, months of constant use, he still couldn't understand how it was possible
"Are there any drawbacks?"
Casey knew this was too good to be true there had to be some sort of draw back because what Chuck was basically saying was everything that the intersect offered was at his disposal there was no need to flash when the intersect was the one in control and Chuck was in control of the switch to turn it on and to turn it off.
"there are two downsides the first being I get an extreme headache, if it weren't for the Governor my brain would have been mush by now, the second is the bigger drawback I can't control anything when my body is operating on its own all I can do is watch while my body does everything, the only control I have over this thing in my head is that I can turn it on and off at will nothing more, it has come to understand that it has a part to play and its acting to the fullest extent it possibly can that doesn't include killing you guys"
Chuck was grateful for his dad's help, the only reason sanity was becoming an issue had nothing to do with the intersect, it had to do with his own memories, sure the intersect was the one in control but he could still see, hear and feel everything that happened around him when he was in intersect mode, all of a sudden the mood changed and he watched as Casey's expression turned worried.
"Kid, I know I've said this many times already but you have to sleep and you have to eat no matter how I wish alcohol was part of the food pyramid, it aint and if you keep drinking that it's not the Ring that's gonna kill ya it's gonna be that bottle your holding their"
Chuck glanced at the bottle he was holding and blew out a breath, he knew Casey was telling the truth but the dreams were becoming unbearable, every night he would wake up in a cold sweat as his mind replayed all the people he had killed it wasn't just Gruber appearing anymore it was many, many people and each one was staring at him with accusatory glares, shaking his head slightly he opted to change the subject than continuing this conversation.
"How's Ellie?"
Casey grunted in frustration, the kid just wouldn't listen, Casey in all his years as a marine never met a man as stubborn as Chuck, sometimes that was good it meant he wouldn't give up but most of the time his stubbornness was a pain in the ass, if Chuck wanted to be stubborn than two can play that game, letting out another grunt he rolled his eyes
"She misses you kid, my own mother wouldn't have batted an eye if I disappeared but your sister is always missing you, every day she walks into your room and sits there just to relax, same thing goes for the midget with the beard, what's his name, uh moron I think that's his name"
Chuck couldn't help but chuckle once more and Casey had to hide the fact he felt proud about making the oh so scary grim reaper laugh
"Ever since you left both Ellie and Morgan have tried to get closer to me, Ellie doesn't let me eat alone in my apartment, every day I'm eating breakfast with your sister and her husband, the midget comes along also, if that weren't enough dinner is starting to become a custom as well, whenever I object she has this look in her eye"
Casey couldn't help but shudder at the memory of the only time he ever said no to Ellie about going to dinner, to this day he still doesn't know what came over his body when she gave him this heated glare that promised pain beyond belief, there has never been a time in which his legs moved faster than at that time
"Thank you Casey, for everything, I owe you for watching over my sister"
Casey growled, Chuck didn't owe him anything, if anything it was this country that owed the kid for the sacrifices he was making
"Kid sometimes I wonder if you're really all that smart because of the stupid shit that comes out of your mouth"
Casey made a face like he tasted something disgusting and shook his head
"You don't owe me shit Bartowski, you never have, everything I'm doing is because I still owe you and because you entrusted your family to me"
Chuck knew Casey felt guilty for what could have happened all those years ago but all that was water under the bridge and Chuck never held it against him even if he wanted to he couldn't because Casey kept him alive and did beyond what was expected of a handler, Casey on more than one occasion saved his life and in his book one small mistake didn't make all the other good things meaningless, hearing Casey speak helped remind him he was still somewhat part of the good guy's even with all the blood that stained his hands
"Alright Casey I get it, I gotta go now, tomorrow I'm going to inform the team on my outin… to paris"
With that Chuck cut the feed and turned off the monitor, once more he took the photo and outlined Sarah's figure in the photo.
'Sarah…'
…..
It was midnight, Sarah could be seen tossing and turning as sweat drenched her cloths, her breathing was erratic all of a sudden her body jolts up in a frenzy
"CHUCK!"