SZ: Last chapter was April fools...but now as we promised…*goes to hide all the cat stuff...and the new kitten*we are gonna do something we promised you all the chapter before
GT: Eeyup. One that was planned months back.
Z0: Hahahahaha! Oh...this gonna be good~ *signs point to me as an agent of chaos and bringer of nonsense*
SZ:...oh poor Tsubaki….
Z0: UNLEASH THE BEAST! *grabs both GT and SZ before they can flee with a stretching arm* Join me brothers! In the chaotic nonsense!
GT: We own nothing.
Z0: *jumps at the screen crashing into it with the others*
SZ: Ahh!
Tsubaki sighed as she went through another day. It was barely a day since her friends got lost in an adventure into the multiverse, but already...she had begun to miss all of them. The house felt so empty and silent without everyone. Ben and Makoto's constant laughing and such during their gaming or their movie marathons, Mai, Rook, and Sari being the normal ones compared to the others...Noel and her cooking and Lambda trying to stop her...speaking of the two siblings, Robotboy was missing them quite a bit, so she had suggested visiting Jenny over at Kibougamine. Even with Kajun and Max still here, the latter was busy picking up Ben's work as the town's Hero since Ben's many enemies didn't get the Memo he was out of town, and the former was working on some method of calling or contacting the others in some way shape or form. Her hand brushed against the hilt of Excalibur and she looked at the sword.
That's right...Merlin was around too. The Wise if...scantily clad Mage often popped in to teach Tsubaki the basics of her new sword. Which was easier said than done, it seems drawing its powers took more effort then she expected. But at the very least she learned the sword was always sharp and never dulled. So...thank god for the sheath. But what she was interested in more was Merlin's explanation of the sword's power. Its power was that of all its past wielders.
But that was a riddle for another day. Today was time for work, try and get her mind off it. That person who brought that thief named Kaito back did say it would be fine, that they'd end up home in a few weeks. How he knew was a question he never answered. In fact he ignored a lot of their questions...he was kind of a tool.
"Okay Tsubaki...just calm down. Today…" Tsubaki began as she stepped into the elevator leading to Plumbers HQ, "Will be an alright day...a calming day." she told herself, the doors closing as the elevator went down, "I mean...your friends who cause the most problems are away...even if...you miss them already…" she sighed as she was reaching the last few levels before her stop, "No, I'm sure they are all having fun on this adventure. So the best you can do is make sure the town is still standing when they come home." the ding went off as she reached her destination...and her eyes then began twitching.
"I got it!" Max in his Strength mode shouted as he and the other Plumbers struggled to capture this large...eel looking monster, covered in slime, paper from those working, and all sorts of random things that had stuck to it, "Uh...correction...it's got me!"
=I told you we should have burned it!= Steel complained.
"...it feels like they never left…" Tsubaki whispered before walking over to Kajun, who was hiding behind some energy shields, "Kajun, status report. What are we dealing with this time? Another of Animo or Kamikaze's creations? A Cryptid that was let loose? ...Something for Magister Tennyson's lunch?"
"Well...from what I can gather, I believe this is something from both Animo and Kamikaze. It would seem they met up recently…" she began, "Normally we would have sent the gang to deal with it...but we kind of only have one all powerful shape shifter."
"And P'li and his team are out picking up some of the smaller missions right now…" Tsubaki muttered before looking at Excalibur, "...well, may as well get in some combat practice with this…"
"Hmm?" Kajun blinked before Tsubaki ran out.
"Max, hold it still!" Tsubaki shouted, quickly unsheathing Excalibur as she charged.
"Trying here!" Max shouted.
'Okay...it seems to be covered in a very sticky slime-like coating...something akin to a slug, or did they accelerate the amount of slime covering Eels?' Tsubaki thought as she avoided a tail slam from the creature, 'Regardless, I need to be careful. Eel's can produce electricity that can stun its prey, so I need to find the right opening to strike it.'
=Just give it up Plumbers!= Kamikaze's voice shouted from a radio stuck to the eel's neck =Our Eelbot w-=
=Kamikaze we agreed to this! No adding bot to the names of my….er...our creations!= Animo's voice argued.
=It adds flare! And Plumbers, I demand you relinquish Robotboy and XJ9 to us!= Kamikaze shouted.
"Absolutely not!" Tsubaki shouted as she sidestepped another tail slam and attempted to go for a lunging slash, only to roll out of the way of a tail swipe, 'It's too erratic...I….hmm...I may as well borrow a play from Makoto…' she thought before clearing her throat, "Excuse me, doctors."
=Oh great...the boring one= Animo muttered =This may take a while…=
=Constantine! Tea for my and Animo h...= Kamikaze began.
"By any chance should your creature turn against you, did you happen to have implemented any contingencies to tame or shut it down?" Tsubaki asked.
=Why would we ever tell…=
=Of course we did! We are not idiots!=
=Don't tell the smart ones stuff...they always use it against us!=
=Do not worry. It's hide can't be pierce or anything= Kamikaze whispered to Animo =If they want to harm it, they need to attack it from within or use its own electricity to harm it, but I doubt they'd be stupid enough to pull that off=
"And thank you so kindly, doctor Kamikaze," Tsubaki smiled a bit as the Eel lunged to bite her, prompting her to roll out of the way as it bit into its own tail.
*BZZZZZZZZZT!*
=...uh….oops=
=YOU IDIOT!= Animo snapped =No...no, it's my own fault for teaming up with you! Animals never liked you anyway!=
=What?! It was your idea to give it actual electricity!= Kamikaze argued.
=Yes but you were the one who made the slime liquid-like!=
=It was to cause any attacks to slide off!=
=Sirs, I have your teas r...= Constantine began.
=SHUT UP, CONSTANTINE!=
"Dr. Animo, when you get back here, you are in so much trouble," Tsubaki informed as she sheathed her sword.
=Nobody sees the wizard!= at that, the radio self destructed.
"I'll be sure to send out a search and retrieve team for those two," Tsubaki whispered as she walked over to Max, who coughed up a bit of smoke as he ended up getting shocked a bit, "You alright, Max?"
"Yeah...just peachy," Max coughed a bit, "Now...mind helping me off?"
"Kajun?"
"Of course," Kajun nodded as she walked over, pulling out a small spray can as she shook it up a bit before spraying its contents on the unconscious eels' body. A few moments passed before Max and the Plumbers stuck to the slibe popped off as the slime slid off them, "There we go. My newest formula worked perfectly."
=Give it a minute before I get convinced= Steel deadpanned.
"Is it just me, or are some of Ben's enemies starting to team up with other villains lately since he's been MIA?" Max asked as he dusted himself off, "I mean a few days ago, I had to deal with Zombozo and him convincing this Box Ghost and Lunch Lady Ghost to team up with him…"
=It was more like he tricked them just to come up with more 'fun' ideas= Steel argued before shuddering =Ghhh...So much ham…=
"Speak for yourself. He legitimately made a Jack-in-the-box terrifying," Max muttered.
"Good thing we had anti-ghost devices," Kajun noted, "I still wish to visit this FentonWorks you got them from, Tsubaki."
"I think you'll find yourself equal parts disappointed and impressed." Tsubaki sighed.
=We need a new Anti-Creep Stick, by the way. Zombie Clown broke it with his face= Steel added.
"You mean a bat?"
=No...I mean an Anti-Creep Stick…= he argued, =Its been...oddly useful, do you know how many rabid fans have snuck around the house since me and Max moved in? More then 1 is already too many!= he argued, =Most of them are after gossip on the world's greatest literal power couple…=
"Touche…" Tsubaki sighed.
"And that was before the half naked magic lady put up a magical boobey trap that turns most of them into wild boars…" Max muttered.
=At least now they're kinda cute. What...Earth animals are adorable, do you know what space animals look like…? Ick…= Steel cringed.
"Noel would probably argue with that if she were here," Tsubaki muttered.
=I know...I miss them too...having people to talk to other than Max was refreshing...and no mad scientists do not count…= he looked at Kajun.
"I feel offended by that," Kajun muttered, "But yes...I miss them as well...and I'm still trying to figure out a way for us to communicate with them."
"Any luck?" Max and Tsubaki asked.
"Well I had very little to go off, as that Tsukasa fellow just said: That guy could make it work, so you can too." she sighed, "But I think I see what he meant. I was able to track the Omnitrix the same way we did last time, and well frankly whatever world they are in makes no sense as geographically compared to us...they are in the middle of the ocean...so it must be a very strange world."
"Well I'm sure you'll be able to contact them," Tsubaki assured with a smile smile, "Afterall, you are head of the R&D department."
"Yes...and this is one challenge I will not fail in," Kajun nodded before walking off, "Now if you'll excuse me, I need to head to said lab...and make sure Blukic and Driba didn't mess anything up."
=Make sure to put them on the baby leash again!= Steel called out.
"I'll be sure to."
"Why don't you head back and rest up, Max?" Tsubaki suggested, "I'll take over monitor duty and send Jin or Kagura-san out."
"Nah, I'm good, I'll just grab a shower and head back out." he offered, "Lots to do while the gang is away." he ran off down the hall.
=I need a scrubbing as well...I can feel the slime in my joints= Steel floated off.
"Seems they're giving it their all while half of the Team is away," Kajun shook her head, "Oh, that reminds me. Magister Tennyson asked me to tell you he has something he wants to speak with you about. He's in his kitchen making Xenocuisine again."
"Right. Thank you," Tsubaki thanked as she walked off, 'I wonder what he wants to talk about?'
"Hmm…" Grandpa Max mumbled looking over spices on his rack to add to the dish he was making, "Can't believe I forgot to restock on pepper...oh...this Chili is gonna lack some flavor." he grabbed a ladle and smacked a tentacle that escaped from the pot.
"You wished to see me Magister?" Tsubaki asked as she walked in.
"Oh right on time," he mused, "I got a call from an old buddy of mine."
"Is this going to be one of those old friends who is still unearthing ancient evils...or one of those old friends who drags us into misadventure of the annoying kind?" she asked.
"Type B." he replied quickly, "See he's been my inside guy over at a government run alien prison. You know the...kind that we don't allow." he paused, "But here's where things suddenly break expectations."
"I am oddly interested." Tsubaki admitted.
"See this prison in particular was made in the 90's to keep one alien prisoner. The...only Alien they ever captured in...I want to say the most legal way possible…" he muttered.
"How so?"
"He and...I kid you not...was arrested for stealing a tiger on March 24, 1990…" Grandpa Max sighed, "Of course, once they learned he was an alien...they had to put him somewhere. And he's been there for a good while. But after all that's happened, the government is not exactly willing to look like the bad guys for detaining a harmless alien now that folks know they live peacefully among us." he added, "In comes our part in the story, my friend called and said funding to the facility was cut, so he's sending him our way. Now he's by no means an actual criminal just…"
"An idiot." Tsubaki finished.
"Exactly," he nodded, "So I figure you and some of the gang can go pick him up. It'll be a small distraction from all we got going on here."
"...know what? I'll accept it, Magister," Tsubaki nodded, "I mean..it shouldn't be too hard. I've dealt with Makoto and Ben..one or both at the same time most of the times, so...this should be an easy task."
"Great!"
"Does he have a name?"
"Says here his name is Gordon Shumway, but everyone just calls him ALF."
"Alf?" Tsubaki repeated, "...as in...Alien Lifeform?"
"Exactly, it was a name he was given by the folks who sheltered him for a few years. The Tanners, if I remember correctly."
"He's lived with humans?" Tsubaki asked.
"He crashed into their garage and just became part of their lives. They cared for him, and he cared for them. When the military caught Alf, they were put under witness protection and are now in Iceland. Even though they still tried to help him, I plan to inform the family's kids, who are adults now and living in Uranus, Missouri. Probably as a way to remember Alf," he explained as he went about seasoning his cooking, "But Alf, well... he's actually a highly endangered species, a Melmacian. Their world had some similarities to ours. Only theirs sadly perished due to poor use of atomic weaponry. Many escaped in time, and have made homes and repopulated, but it's still a whole world gone."
"Oh...oh dear…" Tsubaki whispered in worry before clearing her throat, "Still..if it's to help an endangered species out, I'll more than happily accept and give him asylum."
"I knew I could count on you," Grandpa Max chuckled, "Jin's escorting him to the base and will be helping you."
"I'll be sure to meet up with him, Magister," Tsubaki bowed as she began to walk off.
"...sure she can handle it?" Jubei began, hopping out from behind the counter and jumped on top of the lid to prevent more tentacles from popping up, "I got faith in th' little lady, but how you told me about this Alf feller, and her worryin' about her missing friends, you sure she's up to the task mentally?"
"Oh that's part of why I had her head this one up." he replied, "Melmacians are typically very lazy and annoying aliens. I think being forced to relax while dealing with this guy will be just what she needs. Besides, I don't think anybody else but maybe me has the stuff to handle him...well of course you, but you don't work here. You're just a humble guest instructor."
"That and…" Jubei encouraged, knowing there was more he wasn't saying.
"And his certain appetite yes…"
"He eats cats…"
"I mean...I don't have much to say about that, its just a weird alien thing…"
"Strange how that's weird to ya…" Jubei muttered as a tentacle began t slide out..only to flinch when he pulled one of his swords out with one of his tails, "Don't even try it…" the tentacle quickly slid back into the pot, "Heh heh...that's what I thought."
"Well this shouldn't be so hard," Tsubaki spoke to herself as she walked to the drop off zone, "It's to help an alien refugee, I'll be able to have a bit of company, and I might learn more of said guest's culture." she frowned, "Still...he was in jail for well over twenty years. So much has changed since the 1980's…well, hopefully me and Jin..." she began as she saw one of the ships arriving, "Ahh..speaking of whom, he's back. I wonder.."
"OH MY GOD SHUT! UP!" Jin's voice snapped.
"Oh no…" Tsubaki realized as the doors to the ship were kicked open, a very VERY annoyed Jin stepping out as his eye twitched violently.
"It's official...I found someone I detest more than Tennyson…" Jin whispered through gritted teeth.
"J-Jin…?"
"Wow...for someone with such an icy personality, you sure are a hothead," a voice noted from inside the ship before barking out a laugh.
"..."
"...Jin, don't," Tsubaki immediately spoke up the moment Jin began to unsheath Yukianesa.
"You don't understand...he doesn't shut up...all he does is cause trouble…" Jin spoke, "He turned his prison...into a personal penthouse...the guards just played poker with him, they sold merchandise out of the place...and to make it worse…"
At that, a 3 foot tall alien covered in brown fur with a long aardvark-ish snout walked out. He also had a tuft of fur atop his hair like hair which he styled to one side. His legs were short and stumpy, and his hands had only four fingers. He was also in the middle of eating In-N-Out.
"You didn't take your animal fries...so I ate them." he spoke while chomping down a burger in an instant, "They needed peppers. Maybe if you ate the peppers...you wouldn't be so chilly." he took a second, "HA! Chilly! Cause you got those weird ice powers! HA! I kill me!"
"Kill him...I swear I'm gonna kill him…!" Jin muttered through gritted teeth, threatening to pull Yukianesa out of the sheath any moment now.
"Jin no. He's an endangered species," Tsubaki argued as she lowered his shaking hand.
"I've been listening to his goddamn puns for her last few hours!"
"If you had a problem you should have said so." Alf spoke up while using Jin's coat as a napkin.
"...Tsubaki, you're on your own," Jin stated as he walked off, "I'm heading to the training room to vent."
"Jin, i-"
"NOT DEALING WITH HIM A SECOND LONGER!"
"Yeesh...what's his problem? I haven't seen someone in such need of anger counseling since Willie." Alf muttered.
"Willie?"
"Tsubaki, don't ask who Willie is!" Jin shouted off screen.
"Oh great guy! He's the Earthling who took me in. As I now know...you got more then humans here...and Willie always looked funny...but then again those glasses of his were as big as my ship." he laughed.
"...ahem. N-noted then," Tsubaki whispered as she cleared her throat, "Anyways Mr...Alf?"
"Correct, madam."
"I am Tsubaki Yayoi, and I have been charged to look after you for the time being," Tsubaki continued, "You can stay with me at my place for the time being, and hopefully..I would like to know a bit of your planet's culture while I help you in learning what you miss these past years."
"Is TV still putting out trashy TV programs?"
"Yes?"
"Then I haven't missed much." he chuckled.
"There's more than just TV…" Tsubaki argued, "Such as new history books, events th-"
"Hey, mind if I ask what this Wi-Fi thing I've heard about? Does it have anything to do with that strange new thing called the internet?"
"...yes. Thanks to Wi-Fi, people can look information online, order things that they need, communicate with each other through E-Mails, a-"
"Can you watch TV on there?"
"...yes...also movies, documentaries, news, a-"
"News...so what? Newspapers are obsolete? Then how do you read Marmaduke?"
"The newspaper still exists for those that opt out of watching the news," Tsubaki explained before muttering, "Lord knows Makoto goes for the funny pages every single time before I can get to the sudoku page…"
"Doesn't sound too different...It's just now you folks know Aliens have been pit stopping here for centuries," Alf noted, "Your Fast Food is faster though. And I swear the cups are tinier at McDonald's, too. Asked for a large and it was a thimble with a single drop!"
"That's because back in 2004, there was a documentary film showing the negatives of eating only large amounts of fast food for 30 days, resulting in McDonalds and most other fast food restaurants to lower the proportion sizes."
"...wait. So they took the Supersize off the menu?"
"Correct."
"...Can I go back to jail? Preferably one where Dr. Warner didn't get electrocuted and cooked in his shoes by a sign and everyone wants to say it was heart issues?"
"Wait. What?"
"Yeah. I liked him. Had the same glasses Willie wore. Though they got melted to his face and the chair they strapped me into was…"
'They were trying to electrocute him?!' Tsubaki mentally freaked, "W-Well, I am sorry, Mr. Alf…"
"Just Alf, miss," Alf corrected, "No need for the 'mister.'"
"Right. I'm sorry, Alf, but that's not possible at the moment," Tsubaki apologized.
"Nuts…oh wait. Do you still have cats?"
"Cats?"
"Yeah. Tiny, four legs, long tail, always lazing around as they mature, good with some salt…"
"What was that last one?"
"They're lazy when they get older."
'...he eats cats….' Tsubaki mentally realized, '...Thank the Celestialsapiens Noel and Lambda are not here right now…'
"I'm gonna assume you still have cats," he stated, "Don't worry. I got told time and time again, don't eat cats." he assured, "But it's genetically programmed in there. Like humans and overreacting."
'Well that's a relief. This should be easy then,' Tsubaki thought, giving him a small smile...before pausing, '...Do Melmacians consider minks as cats? ...I am so glad I had Robotboy take her with him.'
"Ah but don't worry! I can handle my own food expenses. I more or less have this country's government in debt to me...I don't understand why they trust people with such obvious poker tells to safeguard national secrets...and money," Alf muttered, "Half the upper echelon of the military still owes me money." he grinned, "Hey, know anyone here up for a few rounds?"
"...ahem. Why don't we just head home first so you can relax?" Tsubaki suggested, "You must be tired after the ride here."
"Surprisingly it wasn't that long. Mr. Icy-Pants is a very aggressive driver…"
"GRR!" Jin's voice growled from offscreen.
"Wow...very hot tempered if he could hear me from here."
"I've...very rarely seen anyone offend him so much," Tsubaki admitted.
"If he can't handle me...oh he'd never handle actual eccentric folks from Melmac." Alf muttered, "Compared to folks back home, I'm a wallflower."
"I see," Tsubaki noted, "Well...again, let's just head back to the house. I mean for now it's just me so things should be calm enough for you."
"Nyao~ Tao bored," Taokaka muttered, resting on the couch as one of the windows was broken, "Tao was hoping to hang out with Good Guy today...instead Tao got chased off by Butt Lady…Tao was just commenting on her boobies, nya." she sniffed the couch, "Changing Guy is gone, too. Nyao~ Tao bored!"
"I think you guys need to have your windows fixed," Alf spoke up from outside.
"Nya?" Tao blinked, her ears twitching as she began to move to the window she broke.
"Alf, I need you t-" Tsubaki began, her hand on Excalibur's sheath as she prepared herself to fight...before she saw Tao poking her head up, "...nevermind...it's just Tao."
"Oh! Hello, Red Lady nya!" Tao waved as she hopped out, "Sorry Tao broke your window...nyobody was answering, nya."
"...Tao, we've been over this. You can't just…" Tsubaki began with a sigh.
"What am I looking at?" Alf blinked, "Is that what cats have turned into on this world...oh you Earthlings are weird…"
"Nya?" Tao blinked as she noticed Alf, getting on all fours as she sniffing him, "...Red Lady, what's this nya?"
"First off Tao, it's rude to just randomly sniff people," Tsubaki stated as she pulled her up by the scruff of her hoodie, "Second off, this is Alf. He'll be staying with me for the time being." She then looked down at Alf, "And to answer your question, this is Taokaka, a member of a race of Cat Beastkin-that's humans with animal traits such as ears and tails-that live in Undertown."
"Boy Evolution on this world is freaky…" Alf muttered, "I was out and about in the 80s...how fast does this stuff go on this world?" he muttered, looking at Tao who kept staring at him, "Hey you ever hear of personal space?" he complained as she jumped back a bit, "Not as smart as the last cat I lived with…" he muttered to Tsubaki, "I don't think all the lights are on up there…" he turned as Tao got too close again, "I warned ya," he muttered before he took a breath of air and opened his mouth as a loud siren like sound came out, scaring Tao and making her jump to the roof of the house.
"Small Furry Guy's loud, nya!" Tao freaked as she covered her ears.
"What was…" Tsubaki began.
"My race can replicate any noise we hear." Alf explained, "Even the voices of others," he spoke in her voice, surprising Tsubaki a bit, "It's kind of more like a party trick," he spoke in Jin's voice next, "But as I learned...you Earthlings fall for it a lot." he returned to his normal voice.
"Th...that's honestly amazing," Tsubaki admitted
"As I learned, it only works a few times on folks that are like family." he explained, "My race are like a swissarmy knife of weird tricks and powers." he explained, "By the way...don't let me eat sponges...I turn invisible. Don't ask how I learned that one..."
"I-is there anything else?"
"You know how all life forms breath in oxygen...and then breathe out carbon dioxide? Well Melmacians breathe in oxygen...and breathe out Helium…"
"Helium?"
"Told ya, my powers work more like party tricks." he shrugged.
"He-li-Um?" Tao repeated as she hopped off the roof...before Alf breathed onto her face, "Nya~! Small Furry Guy's b...NYA?! Tao's voice is all squeaky!"
"Yeah, now you sound like a chipmunk." Alf stated, "Look even your tail changed," he lied and pointed behind her.
"TAO'S TAIL CHANGED?!" Tao freaked as she turned around to look...but in her panicked state, she ended up circling in place to try and catch her tail.
"I...I've never seen someone handle Tao like this," Tsubaki blinked.
"Eh...I've dealt with worse…" Alf muttered before holding his hand out and letting Tao run into it, making her stop, "Shh-shh-shh...dizzy time, kitty go sleepy." he gently nudged and let her fall over with a dizzy groan, "So is this like a house pet...or a stray that just...keeps coming around?"
"She...usually hops in from time to time when she's bored," Tsubaki answered.
"Stray got it." Alf spoke up as he turned to Tao as she got up, "Shh…" he stopped her from speaking, "You are getting...sleepy…" he spoke while moving his hands around, "You want to go home...and take a nap."
"Tao...wants to go home...and take a nyap…"
"You also want to say sorry to your family...for being such a pain in the butt…"
"Tao wants to say sorry for being pain in the butt, nya…"
"Y-you have hypnosis?" Tsubaki blinked, seeing how well this was working.
"No...she's just stupid." Alf explained, "Beat it kitty." he snapped his fingers.
"Kay!" Tao beamed as she ran off on all fours, "Later, Red Lady!"
"Now then..let us head inside so I may be directed to the TV," Alf stated as he began to walk to the house
"He beat Tao in being annoying...what kind of creature is he…" Tsubaki blinked following him in.
"This couch feels oddly shaped...like two love struck goofs keep canoodling on this thing all evening while watching cartoons!" Alf called out. "Eh...probably worry later. Let's see how many channels there a…...I think I've died and gone to TV heaven…"
"Oh right...Makoto got us to get the deluxe package," Tsubaki recalled.
"Why is this channel called History...but it's a bunch of wackadoo's talking about aliens? Shouldn't this be the alien channel?" Alf asked, "Also false...those were not meant to mean anything...everyone knows Stonehenge is just a big old joke. Those Galvans are cruel pranksters when they take time off studying."
"They...truly are," Tsubaki muttered in agreement.
"Wait..food channel? They got channels that show how to cook? ...ooh travel channel with food challenges...oh wow. FOX is still a thing? What did Disney buy them out or something?" Alf questioned as he was flipping through channels
'Not for a few more years,' Tsubaki thought.
"Oh hey. HBO is still a thing...wait Stars? Showtime?" Alf blinked, "...you can watch movies without buying them or renting a video cassette?"
"Technically these days if we want to see a movie but don't want to stream it online, we buy Blu-Ray or DVD."
"Blu-Ray? Sounds like Laser Disk a-" Alf began as he pressed something on the remote, "Oh ho...what's this? Movie marathon list? Well...I know what I'm binging for the rest of the day."
"That looks like all the stuff Ben and Makoto watch…"
"They have good taste." Alf nodded, "This should keep me occupied."
"Right," Tsubaki nodded as she walked over to the kitchen, "Would you like anything to drink? I could make some tea a-"
"No thanks, I will get something when I order something to eat for myself."
"Oh...okay then," Tsubaki muttered before blinking, "Wait...I was not aware you had money on you….how are you going to…"
"Eh I'll just look up some menus in the yellow pages….wait. Are those still a thing?"
"Not really…"
"So how do you find stuff?" he asked.
"Online," Tsubaki explained.
"Boy you miss out on a lot in prison." Alf muttered, "I used to tell my guards what I wanted and we had the government bring it to me. In case America wondered where their tax dollars went...it was to get me Kobe beef from Japan."
"...noted," Tsubaki whispered as she opened the cabinet, "Eh? We're out of tea? How…" she saw a sticky note in the back, "'Needed tea to make tea cakes. Noel'...well, guess I'll have to head out to the store for a moment...demo…" she paused as she looked over at Alf, "I can't leave him alone, especially since Max and Steel are both busy still…hmm..."
"Wow, these effects look almost real. Though I doubt cars would explode that easily from being knocked off the road…" Alf spoke, "Also how is that car not exploding from all the nitros they keep pumping into the engine...why do people...oh never mind I get it." he muttered as another explosion went off, "I get it...you just turn off your brain...and enjoy the nonsense."
"I hear explosions. Are Benji and Maktoto back?" Kagura asked as he poked his head in through the window.
"...perfect," Tsubaki whispered as she walked over to Kagura, "Kagura-san, I need a favor from you."
"Hmm?"
"I need to head to the store real quick to pick up some more tea, and I was hoping you could look after him for me," she explained as she motioned to Alf.
"...alien?" Kagura guessed.
"His name is Alf and an endangered species."
"Well doesn't seem so bad," he muttered, climbing in through the window, "Wait...what's the deal? There's almost always something up with requests like this."
"Careful, Earth men are learning! Haha!" Alf laughed.
"There's no deal. I just need to head to the store real quick is all," Tsubaki explained, "Plus I figure you could help Alf in finding something to order...and no. Sexy women don't count."
"I wasn't think that."
"Yes you were," Tsubaki and Hibiki deadpanned, the latter already standing next to her.
"I will not be judged!" Kagura declared.
"Oh now the overly muscular leads are getting into a pointless fist fight! This is amazing!" Alf laughed.
"Oh you watching a movie marathon?" Kagura asked, zipping over to the couch and hopped right on, "I'm in."
"Fellow movie connoisseur?" Alf guessed.
"I may not look like it, but I enjoy the classics in both movies and music," Kagura answered, "...nothing will ever top Queen."
"Man has good taste," Alf spoke up turning to Tsubaki, "I like him, the only thing left to do...is kick his human butt in a game of cards." he laughed.
"..." Kagura just grinned as he let a deck of cards slide out from his sleeve, "Challenge accepted."
"Sir, don't encourage…" Hibiki began.
"I'm honestly interested in this...if I believe it...Alf has half the government of America in debt to him…" Tsubaki spoke up.
"...ugh. I'll keep you updated," Hibiki sighed, "You go ahead and get what you need….and make sure nothing happens with Lord Kagura and this...Alf."
"I'm short, not deaf," Alf spoke up in Hibiki's own voice making him blink.
"...I like this guy," Kagura grinned as he wrapped an arm around Alf, "He'd be a blast at parties."
"Oh no...I am banned from parties, especially after the llama incident…" Alf spoke, "Oof...that poor Llama…"
"Buddy, I can tell ya stories of all the parties I've had and had to cancel," Kagura admitted, "...still trying to figure out how we got a fully grown elephant into my office."
"You were drunk and wanted to feel like a sultan surrounded by...and I quote; 'women in bellydancer outfits,'" Hibiki deadpanned as Tsubaki walked off, "And it consisted of most of the girls you've dated in the past…."
"...oh yeah," Kagura recalled, "Man that was a fun night…but enough reminiscing...let's play some cards, Alf."
"Just to warn ya, my face doesn't express much." Alf spoke up.
"Okay. I'm back a-" Tsubaki began as she walked in...and saw the place looked like a tornado blew through, "...HAH?!"
She then turned her head as she heard Bob Seger's Old Time Rock & Roll playing, after a moment Alf and Kagura skid down the hall dressed in oversized white shirts, shorts and sunglasses. The duo playing air guitar and lip synching to the song. She then turned to a chair where Hibiki was tied up with a bungee cord.
"...I fell for the voice mimicry…" he explained.
"But..I was only gone for half an hour…" Tsubaki whispered in disbelief
"Oh…" Alf stopped making Kagura bump into him.
"Whoa-oh…" he muttered.
"I meant to clean up before you got home." Alf explained, "But...we had to…" he looked down at the cucumber he was using as a microphone before tossing it out the window Tao broke.
"We couldn't resist," Kagura added with a grin.
"How is it I leave for half an hour and this place looks like Makoto drank an entire six pack of caffeine filled energy drinks...again?!" Tsubaki snapped.
"Ahh….well here's the thing...we were binging classic movies, played some cards, ordered some pizza…" Kagura began listing off.
"Then...we heard a classic song in a movie recreating an iconic moment…" Alf added, "...Naturally...we needed to deal with the stealth operative as he looks like the kind who puts the kibosh on fun, so we quickly thought of the same thing. Trick him...and subdue him...in retrospect...jumping him with a length of bungee cord while yelling our heads off...not the best of approach. Next time...feed him a choco-lax brownie and lock him in the bathroom."
"And believe it or not...it worked," Kagura added.
"I'm ashamed to admit but..they are right," Hibiki sighed.
"...oh I've made a grave error," Tsubaki whispered in realization.
"Hey, Tsubaki. Me and Steel are finally f-" Max began as he walked in...and saw the chaos, "...uh...what happened?!"
=Did that crazy cat girl invade our house again?!= Steel exclaimed.
"No, this looks more like the only time we ever let Ditto drink an energy drink or the last time Makoto drank a six pack of Monster," Max replied, "That and Tao leaves claw marks on the furniture and walls, shredded curtains, and a faint aroma of catnip."
"No...that would be...Alf." Tsubaki pointed to Alf and Kagura.
"Dude you trashed our house?" Max asked, "Not cool man."
"It was a moment of weakness," Alf argued, Kagura nodding in agreement with the sound of people laughing in the background.
=...Did someone just play a laugh track?= Steel asked.
"Stay on topic," Tsubaki sighed before taking a deep breath, "Okay...since I am home, you can head back to your place now, Kagura-san."
"Aww...but I wanna hang out with my little buddy," Kagura complained.
"This guy is a riot!" Alf laughed, "He showed me how to abuse this anonymous call feature on phones...and my voice altering to bring back the prank call! Which as I understand it you Earthlings killed in the early 2000's."
"Truly a sad day," Kagura nodded in agreement, "But we brought it back...and abused the heck out of it on Billy Billions."
"For a supposed kid genius with billions as his last name, he seems to have a low IQ to not realize he's being pranked," Alf added as laughter was heard again.
=Okay seriously, who keeps playing that laugh track?!= Steel demanded.
"I...How did you do all that in the half hour I was out?"
"You'd be surprised at the stuff I can do in a half hour block," Alf replied as the laughter was heard again.
"I think I heard it…" Max muttered.
=THANK YOU!= Steel snapped.
"Anyway...we pranked that Billions kid...and next thing we know, he's being detained outside his own building for something we tricked him into doing." Alf laughed, "As far as I'm told...he's an evil little snot who has it coming."
"It was all over the news," Kagura smirked.
"..." Tsubaki quickly turned as she took a deep, calming breath, 'Calm down, Tsubaki...you can handle this. It was one simple mistake on my part...I can come back from this…'
Alf said nothing as he gave a silent hush to the readers, the laugh track following suit once more.
=Who keeps playing that?!= Steel demanded, now looking around =Seriously, I need a new Anti-Creep Stick to use on whomever is playing that!=
"Can someone please untie me?" Hibiki asked.
"Ahh...what a nice morning," Tsubaki yawned softly as she got up out of bed, rubbing her eyes as she walked over to her dresser. She then reached out for something..only to hit empty space, "Eh?" she blinked, opening her eyes as she looked down, "...where's my hairbrush?" she looked around, "I know it was here before I went to bed…"
"Whoo~! Now that was an eye opener!" Alf's voice called out in relief, making Tsubaki blink as she looked out her room to see him walking out of the bathroom...while using her brush for his fur while chugging on a bottle of milk in his other hand.
"Kagura was right...milk does taste good after a nice hot shower," Alf noted before he noticed Tsubaki, "Oh...heya."
"...is...that my hairbrush?" Tsubaki asked.
"Yeah," he held it up, "It really works great, my fur hasn't felt this smooth in ages!"
"...g...good to know," Tsubaki whispered, 'It's fine Tsubaki...it's to make him feel relaxed. Plus..I can always just get the hair out later anyway…maybe I can borrow Mai's brush for...'
"Oh by the way, you have a serious owl problem," Alf stated as he walked past her, handing her the hairbrush, "I had to use up some brushes I found to scare 'em off."
"..."
"Was it something I said?" he asked.
"It's fine, Tsubaki. You can handle this…" Tsubaki whispered as she walked into the living room, her hair done up into a straight ponytail.
=Ah good. Tsubaki, you're awake= Steel called out floating over =I would like to bring up the concerning...and...inexplicable spike in our power usage= he projected a holographic chart =Specifically...at the time you brought Alf home=
"Wait wh…" Tsubaki whispered as she looked at the chart, "...eh?! But...I just paid for the electric bill this month! How is it already this high?!"
=That's what I want to know!= he declared =I don't know how...but it seems in the span of half a day this guy has used up more energy than we used to while filled with our wild eccentric friends!= he sighed =Look...I got an idea, which...will likely involve my hooking of Max to the house as a generator...I only ask...no judging if he complains…=
"I heard that!" Max shouted from the kitchen.
=Well I help balance the books in this place so excuse me if I'm concerned about the resource chugging carpet swatch…=
"I heard that!" Alf called out from the couch...wearing Ben's jacket with Kagura sitting next to him.
"Hi!" Kagura waved.
"When did…?" Tsubaki asked, looking to Steel.
=Yeah...that's what I'd like to know...I turn away to check the house's electrical system...poof. He's on our couch, eating our food...and...I think wearing Kajun's slippers…= he blinked.
"What can I say? They are very comfy," Alf retorted as the laughter was heard.
=OKAY! WHO KEEPS…!= Steel began.
"Shh shh! This is the part where Godzilla does that sliding dropkick on kong!" Kagura hushed as he and Alf leaned in.
"And they've been watching old school Godzilla movies...in the very cringy english dubs no less…" Max sighed, walking over with a bowl of cereal, "I think we need to set some ground rules with this Alf dude. He seems like a nice guy and all...but...eh he also seems one of those to the beat of his own drum types. We had two of those...we still have another one if you count Kajun…"
"Yes I know but…" Tsubaki paused as she took another deep breath, "Listen...we're trying to help him feel relaxed enough for when he is able to leave and find a place of his own if possible. He is part of an endangered species, so I'm just playing my part to make sure…"
"Alright, I trust ya," Max nodded before looking at his badge as it began vibrating, "Welp, that's my cue to head out. Another bank robbery. Come on, Steel."
=As long as I don't hear that mystery laugh track again…= Steel muttered as he floated over to Max.
"Oh ho! Now that is one way to eat your vegetables!" Alf commented on the movie as laughter was heard once more.
=GRRRR!=
"Catch ya later!" Max waved, grabbing Steel as he ran out.
"..." Tsubaki took another slow deep breath to try and calm herself, "He's our guest...it's best to make sure he can relax…"
"Tsubaki."
"Yes, Jin?" Tsubaki asked, seeing him walking over ot her as she was at the Plumbers base.
"Would you mind telling me why I'm getting random charges to my bank account?" Jin questioned.
"Beg pardon?" Tsubaki blinked before Jin handed her a bill...which she unfolded and began to read its content, "...EH?! Jin, I don't know how..."
"Oh I do know...it's that annoying little furball Alf…" Jin scowled, "He stole my card when I wasn't looking!"
"But...then how did he get your card information to use it?"
"I don't know...maybe he's telepathic." he argued.
"No, he said that his powers are just tricks," she argued.
"Wait he does have powers?"
"Voice mimicry, temporary invisibility…" she trailed off and blinked, realizing the specific powers.
"...He used my voice to fool people…" Jin realized, "...that son of a bitch…!"
"Jin, no…!" Tsubaki quickly got out of her seat and blocked Jin, "He's an endangered species!"
"I don't care! I'm gonna turn him into a goddamn popsicle...which I am gonna shatter into dust!" Jin snapped.
"Jin…"
"I shall not let this stand he…" Jin paused as Alf walked right past him, "You!"
"Alf?"
"Sup?" he turned to Tsubaki, ignoring Jin, "My new buddy brought me here, figured we could goof around in the supply room by making a box fort...Spoiler...it collapsed on him...and now I need to get a shovel. Or box cutters...I'm weighing my options."
"...Wh...why hasn't Hibiki…"
"Anti-Lax-Brownie."
"..." Tsubaki took a slow, deep breath as she clapped her hands together, "It's okay...I'll just have P'li and his team go and help rescue him. They should be free enough t-"
"Was he that big panda fellow?"
"...Why?"
"Why do you think he's buried alive?" Alf argued, "His team is in there trying to get him out, but the mess just got bigger. I think that stack of boxes and papers is alive...maybe haunted. You should really get an exorcist in there." he said before he grabbed Jin, "Here, this should help. He looks sharp and edgy, HA!" he laughed...and surprised them as he began dragging Jin against his will...with shockingly amazing strength for someone so small.
"How is he so strong?!" Jin demanded.
"Oh please, compared to that fat tiger...you're a paperweight." Alf explained.
"...don't lose your temper, Tsubaki," Tsubaki whispered to herself, rubbing the sides of her head as she took deep breaths, "He's your guest...you accepted the responsibilities, so calm down...and bear through this."
"He was not helpful...at all." Alf spoke, walking through with a flamethrower, "Hang on guys, I got a hot idea! Hahaha!"
"NONONONONO!" everyone inside panicked.
"It's okay...I use to do this all the time back home...full disclosure; I never had to do it in a small room…"
"Ahh! Alf, no!" Tsubaki panicked as she rushed over to stop him.
"Okay….paperwork should be nice and ready," Tsubaki whispered, smiling a bit as she finished sorting out various files and papers, "My work should be done, and the special treaty papers between the Kaka and Koko Clans should be ready for when the two chiefs meet. Now or staple them together and keep the t-"
*SLAM!*
"AHH!" Tsubaki yelped as the door was forced open...and the resulting wind current blew all the papers across the entire room, "..."
"Wow, this place is messy," Alf spoke as he and Kagura walked in.
"Sorry to bug ya, but we were told to inform you Max dragged in the mad animal scientists." Kagura informed, "But on the way into the base, their army of Rat men busted them out and now there's a big ol' hole in the garage."
"Last I heard...they're escaping to Japan or something," Alf added, "Took that big fella of theirs with them too…"
"You know the nice big sumo guy," Kagura added.
"...duly….noted," Tsubaki whispered, her eyes twitching for a moment, "I'll be sure to give Jenny a call in case she sees them."
"...wonder what's up with her?" Kagura whispered to Alf.
"Who…" Alf began before he sneezed into a piece of paper that flew into his face, "Gah!"
"...that…..was….the treaty…." Tsubaki whispered, her eye twitching further, "I spent...a week drafting it up and getting it processed…"
"Can't you print another one off your computer? That's how I understand they work?" Alf shrugged, taking the paper off his face before looking at Kagura, "Well not that this one knows given his search history! HA!"
"Touche, little buddy!" Kagura laughed as he patted his back, "Now come on. There's a Food truck nearby that sells some killer hot wings...beat their challenge and you get a free shirt."
"You Earthlings have trucks...filled with food?" Alf asked, "I would love to meet the man who came up with that...and shake his hand. A man after my heart there."
"I know, right? So convenient," Kagura grinned as the two walked out.
"So what's this challenge consist of?"
"Eating hot wings made with the world's spiciest peppers without drinking anything."
"Challenge accepted!"
"...deep breaths, Tsubaki...deep...breaths…" Tsubaki whispered, rubbing the sides of her head once more as she closed her eyes, "The day is almost done….besides, you have something special waiting for you at home."
=Tsubaki, would you mind coming to the R&D department?= Kajun called from the PA system.
"...oh no…"
"...I….wh….how…" Tsubaki whispered in disbelief, seeing Kajun, Blukick and Driba covered from head to toe in slimy foamy bubbles.
"I...can't even begin…" Kajun spoke, "First I woke up and my slippers were missing." Tsubaki turned her head away to not reveal she knew the fate of those, "Next thing I know, I come in to find that fuzzy Melmacian eating random chemicals…"
"He ate what?"
"Yes!" Kajun declared, "You wouldn't believe the...oddly interesting effects they had...one of them made him grow, the next shrink, and one turned him bright orange…"
"Then once he saw us he picked us up, licked us...and stuck us to the ceiling!" Driba added.
"It was traumatizing…" Blukick added.
"And...the bubbles?" Tsubaki asked in concern.
"Did you know...he breathes out helium?" Kajun began, "Cause we didn't...and suddenly he drinks my last formula...and he's coughing up plazma...furballs!"
"H-how?"
"Well what do you think your sun is made of?" Driba argued.
"Burning Helium…" Blukick nodded.
"..." Tsubaki quickly turned as she took a deep...very deep breath before letting out an exhale, "You can do this Tsubaki….you can do this. It's just one bad day...but you can bounce back from it…"
"Is she okay?" Driba whispered to Kajun.
"I don't think so. She seems to be..really keeping her emotions bottled up at the moment….again," Kajun noted.
"Kajun, I don't bottle up my emotions…" Tsubaki argued as she turned to face her.
"Prom," was all Kajun countered with.
"...th….th...that was different," Tsubaki muttered, turning away as she blushed a bit in embarrassment, "Listen Kajun, I think I might be able to rein in Alf. I just...need to make sure he's calm and relaxed enough in our home until he finds a place of his own."
"You look like you might have a conniption any second now," Blukic and Driba commented.
"Don't...start...with me," Tsubaki ordered, her eye twitching violently as she spoke through gritted teeth.
"Look...I'll fix it, but you really need to talk to this Alf...He's teamed up with Kagura...Who knows what they'll do next?" Kajun sighed.
"Well, they're at that food truck where Makoto caused them to invent that challenge," Tsubaki recalled, "How bad could that be?"
"She tempted Croakmuth!" Driba freaked as the two Galvans quickly put on hazmat suits and pulled a rip cord, causing the suits to inflate and let them float off.
"...Kajun?"
"It's something they made incase someone tempts Murphy...or in this case for Galvans, Croakmuth," Kajun explained.
"...I'll just head on home for today," Tsubaki muttered, 'Besides...I have my special treat waiting at home~'
It was all quiet in the Omni Team's house as Tsubaki opened the door, looking in to make sure no one was there. No sign of Kajun, Max...and thank gods no Alf or Kagura. A smile grew on Tsubaki's face as she hurried in and put all the locks on the door, pressing a few buttons on a keypad nearby as a barrier surrounded the house.
"Perfect...I'm all by myself, so…" Tsubaki began as she rushed for the bookshelf in the living room, taking the glass casing off a model of Date Masamune before lightly pressing on the eyepatch, causing the bookcase to split open as it revealed a large white room with a fridge in it with a scanner on the front.
=PLEASE SAY VOCAL PASSWORD=
"Triple Fudge Ripple."
=PASSWORD ACCEPTED=
An excited smile grew on Tsubaki's face as the fridge opened on its own, mist seeping out of it as she began to approach it.
"I've been waiting so long for this...no one around the house, no one to interrupt me...just me...and my…" Tsubaki began as she helped open the fridge door...only to find nothing was there except for bottles of milk, "...wh….where is it?" she whispered, her eyes widening as she began to look deeper inside while she began to toss out various bottles of milk-both regular and chocolate, "WHERE'S MY CAKE?! WHERE'S MY TRIPLE CHOCOLATE RIPPLE DEVIL'S FOOD ICE CREAM CAKE WITH CRUSHED OREO AND BROWNIE BATTER CHUNKS!? NOBODY BUT ME…!"
"Oh hey! You're home!"
"..." Tsubaki slowly turned to see Alf standing in the living room, wearing the shirt he won from the food truck, "...How….did you get in?"
"Oh yeah...I borrowed that Max kid's key...went out in the night, made a copy." Alf explained, "Turns out...you have machines in hardware stores that do it in a few moments! Amazing! This used to take me all day before. Don't even ask how I copied ID cards."
"...tell me this then…" Tsubaki whispered, already seeing where this was going as she pointed a shaky finger at the fridge, "Where...is my triple chocolate ripple devil's food ice cream cake with crushed oreo and brownie batter chunks?"
"Um.." he patted his hip, "Ah. Stomach 5 right now. Wow, that was my midnight snack, too. Normally that's in Stomach 7 out of 8 by now."
"..." Tsubaki said nothing as the sound of glass shattering could be heard, her eye twitching violently as she kept a rather...uneasy and unnerving smile on her face, "You….ate my cake...the very cake I bought and saved for a very special day for when I can relax..."
"Uh…"
"The very cake I hid so no one would tear it away from me...or having to worry about Makoto eating it…" Tsubaki continued, "And you….ate it."
"In retrospect...everyone knows voice automated locks are untrustworthy. Haven't you heard of voice mimicking aliens…?" Alf argued.
"..." Tsubaki began to give off a chuckle...a rather...unhinged chuckle as she began to slowly unsheath Excalibur from its sheath, "Alf...I just have one thign to say to you…"
"...a-and that is?"
"Run," Tsubaki whispered in a tone that promised death.
"..." Alf slowly blinked before he began to step out slowly...before he began running off as fast as he could, "GYAH!"
"Oh hey buddy! Y-" Kagura began.
"START THE CAR!" Alf freaked as he ran past him, grabbing a sponge from the kitchen.
"Eh?" Kagura blinked before the sound of the front door opening was heard, prompting him to turn and see….an absolutely livid Tsubaki standing there, "AH!" he screamed, slamming the door once Alf ran past him, "What did you do?!"
"What didn't I do? I'm a Melmacian!" Alf argued.
"GET BACK HERE, DEFILER OF CHOCOLATE!" Tsubaki snapped, crashing through the door as she began to give chase.
"...You ate her chocolate?" Kagura guessed.
"There wasn't a note!"
"...Eh, fair enough," Kagura shrugged before running faster, "We'll take my ride! No way she can catch up to us in that!"
"THEN GET IT!"
"HIBIKI, GET THE BLACK KNIGHT MOBILE!"
"I told you not to call it that…" Hibiki groaned from Kagura's house next door.
"Not important right now! Tsubaki's livid and we need to leave...possibly out of the country or off planet!" Kagura argued.
"Why not Belgium? All the chocolate there should keep her distracted!" Alf suggested, "Or was Belgium famous for waffles?"
"We'll check it on the internet on the way to the airport!" Kagura shouted as they ran into the garage.
"GET OUT HERE!" Tsubaki shouted as she began hacking away at the garage door.
"Yayoi-san y-" Hibiki began as he poked his head out, only to flinch when Tsubaki glared at him with angry red eyes, "...good day." he pulled his head back in and pulled a badge out, "Kajun, it's Prom all over again…minus the vanilla sauce-stained dress, the terrified poodle in Makoto's Sombrero, and the crying Noel in a suit and an embarrassed Taro in a dress."
=Oh dear...I was afraid this would happen= Kajun whispered before the sounds of crashing was heard =?=
"And Lord Kagura and his new friend just left," Hibiki muttered, seeing Kagura and Alf driving off in a black and silver Ferrari 250 GTO with an image of a black knight on the front, "...of course he got the decal…"
=This...is a very tricky scenario...while I'm sure a question of who could win is...eh iffy, at the moment Kagura is panicking due to his fear of angry women, and Tsubaki is in a blind rage which is exuding an aura of pure fear. Add in the bottled emotions Tsubaki has been holding up…..yeah. We may need Maxwell's help on this=
"I don't see any sign of her," Alf whispered, looking out the car window from his side, "I think we're good for now."
"Good. The less I deal with an angry Tsubaki, the better," Kagura admitted as he slowed the car down a bit.
"Phew. Good thinking on the car. No way can she keep up with it on her feet," Alf sighed in relief, "Especially in those heels."
"Buddy, when you need a quick getaway while looking cool for the ladies, you need the right car," Kagura smirked as he rested his arm on the open window.
"Nice. Good to know…" Alf began before a loud revving sound was heard, "...what was that?"
"...oh don't tell me…" Kagura began as he looked out the window...and saw Tsubaki riding Ben's car right towards them, "AHH!"
"SHINEI!-!-!-!-!-!-!" Tsubaki roared out.
"She hijacked Benji's car!" Kagura panicked as he stepped on the gas.
"How do you guys live with this? Does she do this all the time?!" Alf asked.
"No! She's normally the calm one!" Kagura answered.
"Oh, she's a Willie, then," Alf noted before yelping as a gun popped out of the chasing car, "She's packing heat!"
"This is getting out of hand!" Kagura panicked.
"I might have an idea...but it will require us getting her away from anyplace she can do damage," Alf spoke up.
"That would be the desert! There's no one hiding out there!" Kagura answered, "Problem is we need some help trying to get her to follow us to the desert!"
"I might have an idea," Alf pulled out a small megaphone.
"Where did you get that?" Kagura blinked.
"The question that should be asked...is what happened to Jin's wallet?" Alf replied with, he then turned it on and leaned his head out, "Hey, Tsubaki...about your cake...I've had better." he quickly retracted his head back into the car.
"Really?"
"No, that thing was better than my mom's cat casserole and I always thought that was impossible. And I can't savor it because she scared my eight stomachs dry," Alf replied as the laugh track went off, "But I figure if eating it was enough to light the fuse and blow the horns of war...what do you think talking it down will cause? Now floor it Pretty Earth man! Our lives and handsome looks are on the line!"
"YOU GOT IT!" Kagura nodded, shifting gears as the car went faster.
"YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE MY WRATH!" Tsubaki snapped as she gave chase, turning a corner at the same time Kagura did, "I'LL CHASE YOU BOTH TO THE ENDS OF THE GALIXIES!-!-!-!-!-!-!-!"
"What's going on?" Jin asked, seeing Kajun pulling a mission command on the Plumbers.
"Prom Night Relapse."
"...I thought we agreed to never let her near a Sombrero made from nachos with guacamole after that so this wouldn't happen," Jin groaned, "Where are they now?"
"Heading into the desert." Kajun explained, "I'd call Max...but he's busy with a break in involving aliens."
"Drat...hmm…" Jin began to ponder at that, "...we may need to set up a trap."
"I'm concerned though, now that she has a powerful magical sword...one of legend mind you." Kajun began, "I'm worried about how hard this will be."
"So...we have to rely on an idiot...and the most insufferable creature in the cosmos…" Jin sighed, "Oh...and Kagura…great..."
"She's gaining on us!" Alf panicked, seeing Tsubaki starting to close in on them in Ben's care, "Kagura, buddy...if you got some secret about this car like..oh say some turbo boosters or something...DO IT!"
"Sorry...this is my normal car, I haven't gotten the okay to upgrade it yet!"
"Then...its time...for drastic measures," Alf spoke, "It's a little early, but I have to enact Alf plan Save the Bacon."
"You have plans for this?"
"It's from this time in college where I was talking to this one girl...and then another girl caught up to me...and then another...and short story...turns out I dated half the campus...no teachers, I'm not that outgoing." he explained, "Long story short...there was a five month manhunt for the old Alf-man."
"...That sounds amazing," Kagura admitted.
"I learned a good lesson in those Five months, my good buddy. Sometimes...you just gotta say…'I'm sorry' and mean it," he shrugged, unclicking his seat belt, "By the way, there's a file in my guest room with all my dirt on and my debt collections from world leaders, and the secrets to the universe...if I don't make it...they're all yours." at that he opened the door and tumbled out, leaving a confused and astounded Kagura.
"Ah! Little buddy!" Kagura gawked as he hit the breaks, causing him to skid to a halt.
"I feel...I could have done that better." Alf mumbled, fixing his crooked nose back to form as he stood up, making Tsubaki come to a sudden stop, "I saw my life flash before my eyes...I gotta try adding gravy to more meals…"
"You…." Tsubaki rasped out as she stepped out, her eyes blank with rage as she began to approach him...all while dragging Excalibur behind her, "I am…"
"Hold that thought," Alf stopped her, "Now allow me a moment to say some...potentially final words." he sighed as she stopped and looked at him, "Firstly, I am sorry, truly I am. Secondly...if I was bugging ya...Why didn't ya say anything!?" he snapped, making her blink, "Do you know how to talk to folks like a human being...I mean...I'm a fuzzy alien and I'm the one saying this, what's wrong with you?"
"I but...and…" she muttered, confused now.
"Okay, I'm a guest, I get it...but you know what you should have done...talk to me! I lived for years with a family...I know how to handle some punches. What you think the Tanners just accepted my nonsense...no! I got yelled at...A LOT!"
"...but...I….you…." Tsubaki muttered as she dropped her sword.
"Okay, come on," Alf sighed, walking to the car and jumping onto the trunk, "Sit," he patted a spot next to him, "This isn't ending 'till you sit." he motioned.
"...r-right," Tsubaki whispered as she sat down next to him.
"Now then...I'm gonna take a quick guess. You're the type that puts way too much pressure on herself from time to time," Alf stated, "Now correct me if I'm wrong...but I'm gonna take a guess...family trouble as a kid?" he asked slowly.
"...yes...but father and I have grown past that since then."
"Mmm-hmm…" he nodded, "But...does that change the fact that deep down, you work so hard to be good at everything, and as a result put all this pressure on yourself as a method of dealing with those issues?" he asked, getting a slow nod, "Ah okay, look here, on my world...we aren't perfect, we blew our own world up...but we were there for family and friends. But you know what we did? We talked!" he exclaimed, "You talk, you get what's bothering you out in the open and out of your system. I'm a guest, this is true...but you know what is also true, it's your house. I'm not gonna say I'll suddenly be better...but if you're annoyed with me, then tell me, I can take it."
"...yes. Perhaps...no. I...should have talked to you when the problems began to arise…" Tsubaki whispered, "But…"
"But…?" Alf urged her to continue before he saw her beginning to tear up, "?"
"That...was my cake," Tsubaki whispered, "I've waited months...months just to eat it without the others taking it away from me due to my 'addiction'...and without having to worry about Makoto, Ben...or even both eating it!" she shouted as the tears continued, "And after I was done with this mission, I was finally going to indulge myself in it...enjoy myself...but no! I can't even have that!"
"Feel better?" Alf asked after a moment, "If no then by all means continue, if you think this is the only angry tirade I've heard over cake...I got news for ya…"
"It's not just the cake. I'm just…" Tsubaki paused, wiping the tears away as she gave a small sigh, "Most of my friends are currently missing…"
"Okay…"
"In another dimension with no way to get back home at the moment…"
"Complicated…"
"Yes...and right now I'm just...really worried about them and hoping they're okay," Tsubaki continued.
"Well then why the heck are you putting up with me?" Alf asked, "Why not just shove me off on a lackey? News flash...I am not a simple task, I'm well aware of the difficulty of managing me...just ask the US military...and their dozens of scientists I drove insane! The Pentagon is renting all their stuff from me cause I own it!"
"...that...oh my god. You're not joking…" Tsubaki blinked.
"How do you think I feed myself...besides stealing your friends wallet…?"
"How are you so okay with...being talked to like this?" Tsubaki asked, "Isn't this at all rude to you?"
"Melmac...was a real freaky place." Alf shrugged, "Also, as I learned, on this world, family is more than blood, it's who you find a home with. So I just assumed its normal for you Earthlings to always speak your mind and confide in others. Why bottle this up? Do you have any idea how bad that is for health? Look, take it from someone who...lost a lot, don't just keep that stuff to yourself, if you wanna let it out...let it out, talk to people who get how you feel. You seem kind of easy going most of the time, maybe if you talked this out more...you wouldn't feel so stressed all the time."
"...yes. I...suppose that's true," Tsubaki muttered, "Lord knows how many times Makoto and Ben tell me to relax...and Magister Tennyson...and Mai...and Noel...and…you get my point."
"Yeah...you need to learn how to be a little lazy," Alf argued, "You know there is such a thing as healthy laziness...don't believe me? Course ya don't...wanna know why? You're so wound up and stressed!"
"Well I am second in command to the team and…"
"No excuses! Look, little lady...why not just take this time to relax or something? Take some time off...which I bet is rare for you."
"I...rarely do go on breaks from time to time," Tsubaki admitted, "...and the moment I come back, I see nothing but chaos...but that's my friends for you."
"Okay, amendment to that...when you do take breaks, are they your ideas? Or are they your friends' constant attempts to be lazy, or your boss worried for ya?" he asked as she tried to answer but sighed, "Okay now I get it, you already have a me! I'm assuming it's the two who canoodle on that lumpy couch of yours...I swear that thing is ruined..."
"Lord knows I need to buy a new one," Tsubaki whispered in agreement.
"I tell you what...I promise to tone it down...hang out at Kagura's place more, and you promise me...if I do anything that bothers you, you actually tell me instead of bottling it up until you explode."
"...know what? I'll accept that deal," Tsubaki nodded as she turned to look at him, "Just a heads up, I'm rather...strict when it comes to the rules and such."
"Yep...you're just like Willie…" Alf agreed, "I can handle it. Just promise me you won't get a cat...I've learned to control it, but I try not to...keep them around."
"Understandable," Tsubaki nodded, "In fact...you're just lucky my friend Noel and her sister Lambda aren't here."
"Eh? Why's that?"
"Oh not much. Just...well if they heard you say you eat cats...what I was doing earlier is tame compared to what they'd do to you."
"Got it...your stress is warranted...you live with lunatics!" Alf laughed.
"Yes, but said lunatics happen to be my best friends," Tsubaki countered with a slight giggle, "...in fact, you mind if I share a few stories of them with you once we get back to the house?"
"I've listened to ya so far...why not stop?"
"Perfect. Just one condition…" Tsubaki paused as she leaned in and whispered, "Don't tell anyone about the cake…"
"I can keep a secret. Just ask the US Government."
"Duly noted then."
"So I'm not gonna die right?" Kagura spoke up.
"We're good!" Alf shouted, "But we're gonna have to move poker night to your place!"
"Fine with me!" Kagura grinned, "More time to hang out with my little buddy!"
"I'll order the take out!" Alf cheered.
"And I'll order the women!" Kagura laughed.
=I blocked that number= Hibiki spoke from the car radio.
"...why you gotta be a buzzkill, Hibiki?" Kagura deadpanned.
=To protect you from yourself= Hibiki stated =Also Yayoi-san, you may need to refile that paperwork for the treaty between the two clans. It's this weekend=
"...AHH! You're right!" Tsubaki panicked in realization, "I was so absorbed into this situation I forgot to file a new one!"
"I can help, believe it or not I've learned a few things about making people get along." Alf offered.
"...really?" Tsubaki questioned, "Alf...would you mind assisting me in this?"
"Sure, its the least I can do...besides ordering you a new cake." Alf offered.
"THANK YOU!"
"Woah...you really needed that cake."
"Totokaka...it has been far too long," the Chieftan of the Koko greeted as she and Skol stood before the Kaka Clan Elder and Tora with the rest of both clans watching from nearby.
"It has been, Luukoko," she nodded in agreement, "It would seem time has not been kind to the both of us…"
"No..it has…" Luukoko began before coughing a bit, "It has not…"
"Chieftan…" Skol whispered in worry.
"We both know why we are here…" Luukoko whispered as she caught her breath.
"Yes...the war between our two clans started so many years ago," Totokaka agreed, "It is true we are both a dying race...and we cannot afford to let more blood be shed."
"No...and my time will soon come," Luukoko added with a sigh.
"You have chosen someone to be the next chieftain in your place, correct?"
"Yes...my grand pup, Skolkoko," Luukoko answered before looking at Torakaka, "And I take it she is your replacement, my old friend?"
"Yes...she has been training the new Guardian of the village to take her place when my time comes as well," Totokoko nodded.
"It is a work in progress…" Torakaka sighed, "But we are doing better."
"After meeting the one known as Ben Tennyson, same," Skolkoko admitted, "We are able to travel out more to find more food...and to search for potential mates to help repopulate the Koko Clan."
"You do know this isn't a competition, Skol…" Torakaka teased.
"I refuse to lose to you, feline," Skol frowned.
"Heh heh….ahh that reminds me of our younger days, Toto," Luukoko admitted with a low chuckle.
"Indeed...we were very stupid…"
"I feel like now is a good time to intervene." Alf muttered as he and Tsubaki walked in, "I can smell we're one comment away from a very big kaboom…"
"Good call," Tsubaki whispered as she stepped forward, "Excuse me, Luukoko and Totokaka?"
"Hmm?" the two elders looked over at her.
"Let's not get off track here, please."
"Ah yes...we do apologize. It's just we are…" Luukoko began before she began coughing, "Reminiscing our youthful days…"
"Yes...but she is correct," Totokaka nodded in agreement, "Let us proceed with what is needed to unite our two clans."
"Indeed."
Unaware to everyone there, Nyancy was watching on from behind a tree, glaring at the site as she overheard everything.
"A treaty...between my precious kitties and a bunch of mangy mutts?" she growled as her eyes became slit, "Unacceptable...Nyancy will not allow this. Cats and dogs are mortal enemies...they are never allowed to be friends! Nyancy forbids it!"
"I smell something needy in the air." Alf spoke up, "...might just be me...I have decades of stink from that prison...mostly pizza...my arm still smells like meat lover special." several girls sniffed his arm, before he shooed them off, "Scram you kids!"
"...what is that?" Nyancy whispered as she noticed Alf, "Some...weird muppet thing?...metters not. All NYancy has to do is sneak in, get before my kitties, and force them to attack the mutts until there's none of them left, leaving only my previous kitties for Nynacy's kingdom!"
"Kingdom? What are ya a princess?"
"Nyes, Nyancy b-" Nyancy began before blinking, turning around to see Alf standing behind her, "?!"
"You know...your not very stealthy...the girls who look part dog were about to murder ya...and you look like a cat...we don't need that right now." Alf spoke.
"Eh? Why nyot?!" Nyancy snapped as she glared at himm "Nyancy wants to make sure that my precious kitties and manjy mutts remain enemies! Cats and Dogs are nto allowed to be friends!"
"...I imagine you are not a fan of Milo and Otis."
"HIISS!"
"That answers that. Also…" he opened his mouth as loud barking came out of him, making her jump away, "Say it...don't spray it." he then looked up at her clinging to a tree, "Aren't you human? Or some weird...subhuman...why are you acting like a cat? News flash...you're not a cat, I know a cat when I smell one. I pride myself in having a nose for cats."
"...wait. You..love kitties too?" Nyancy blinked.
"Well it depends on how you prepare cat."
"...eh?"
"Well, yeah. I don't like cat when it's deep fried," Alf shrugged as the laugh track went off, "Oh right...I'm a Melmacian...on Melmac...we eat cats like you humans eat beef. Its a major food group."
"...you...eat kitties?!" Nyancy freaked.
"Ate...I've learned you Earthlings are real persnickety about that." Alf spoke.
"...y...you're not gonna eat me, are you?" Nyancy nervously asked as she began to cautiously step away from him.
"What are you crazy? Your a filthy human…" Alf gagged, "You all smell bad enough as is...and would you eat anything that eats the stuff you do? I mean I eat that stuff...so I know you won't taste good."
"...NYANCY'S NOT TAKING HER CHANCES!" NYancy freaked as she bolted out of there, "NYAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"
"What a weirdo." Alf muttered as the laugh track was heard once more.
SZ: Heh heh...ahh Alf...you sure know how to bring relief to a chapter...even if you do bring chaos now and again, you know how to bring relief to it
GT: Aye! We couldn't resist especially since he'd fit in great in a world like Ben 10!
Z0: Also...I just really like his show, and he's funny.
Alf: Aw thanks!
GT: Oh right...fourth wall isn't safe with him.
Z0: We...don't know all his powers...he could be really over powered.
SZ: Aye...ahem. Anyways we hope you enjoyed this chapter folks. Tune in next time as we see what's happening with Robotboy while this is going on
Z0: Later readers.