Chapter 7: Collateral Damage
What a nice feeling, Satoru thinks as he retreats. He likes everything about her, Kasumi's innocent smile, the spark that instantly incinerates as he wanders into her siblings' territory, the tenderness when she constantly ducks her head with the humility of someone who thinks herself beneath, how naive.
As pleasant as it feels, he pulls back. He knows he has much more important things to take care of, especially in the middle of curse season. The time comes when he has no rest and hopes that Ijichi has looked at the expiration date of his Visa, because he has completely forgotten about it and will most likely have to travel abroad again.
And as Satoru disappears into the vastness of the night, Kasumi dreams. The scent of his cologne, masculine, distinctive, has lingered in her lungs. She feels him embrace her, that he is still with her and she completely forgets that pain that weighed on her heart at the beginning of the day. Kasumi has completely left behind Satoru's silence during the whole week and her chest fills again with the natural naivety of first love. Of the warmth that comes from feeling loved.
The dinner, the laughter, the support, the kindness he has shown to Sochi, represent for her an immeasurable affection. A gesture that she finds no way to return in the same measure, nothing she could do would be enough to return it.
At some point she opens her eyes, she finds herself lying on a bed in a dark room, covered with a Kano blanket, and she doesn't know how she got there. She sits on the edge and carves her eyes, lets out a yawn and stretches. Then she tries to remember how she got there and comes to the embarrassing conclusion that she fell asleep while Gojo Satoru was telling her something, something she now has absolutely no idea about.
It torments her to have left him talking to himself, just at the moment when they could have talked about something more important, such as... his presence in her house.
Kasumi ends up sighing, her face making no effort at all to sketch the smile that comes naturally to her at the thought that he was the one who left her sleeping in that bed. But a thought forces her to get up and hurry down the hallway. She opens the door and feels her eyes burning. It's daylight, in fact, it's almost noon. Kano's thick curtains had led her to believe that it was still night, but as she leaves his room Kasumi soon discovers that Gojo has left, again.
She feels foolish for having expected him to sleep on the couch. It makes the most sense for him to have left, considering who he is and how vital he is to the organization he works for. There are things that only someone like Gojo Satoru can fix.
But that discouragement dies quickly, when she picks up her cell phone and among all the notifications, the first one she sees is his.
'I had to leave,' reads the first one. 'See you soon,' she reads and smiles with such excitement that she jumps with joy. She might even dance.
"What are you doing Kasumi?" asks Sochi, who has been sitting on the sofa eating from the snacks Gojo Satoru bought for him.
"Hey, you haven't even had breakfast yet and you're already eating those things!" She walks over quickly and lifts them off the table. "Only after eating," she tells him seriously as she takes the last bag of snacks out of his hands.
Kasumi sighs. She knows the gesture was with the best of intentions, but she wishes she didn't have to fight with her brother, considering this is one of the few chances she has to see him and spend time with him. She puts the snacks inside a bag and hides it in the highest place in the cupboard, so far away that she has to use a chair to reach it.
Then, she looks at the rest of her messages and pales. She has fifteen missed calls from Utahime.
I completely forgot, she says to herself internally and thinks of Gojo once again, the only explanation there is in the fact that she hasn't talked to Utahime about what happened with her brother. She looks superficially at the messages from Momo and Mai, even Mechamaru, she seems to have worried more than one of them and feels terribly guilty. She has to fix this inattention as soon as possible and hurriedly marks on the screen.
"Utahime-sensei!" she utters in an exaggerated tone when she hears that her call has been answered. Her eyebrows are pressed together on her forehead, her lips twisted in an awkward gesture.
"Miwa-san! Where are you? Are you all right?"
"Y-yes, sensei. I'm sorry, I'm so sorry I've worried you. I got a call from school yesterday... About my brother Kano. They had to send him to the hospital for a sharp pain in his stomach. It turned out to be appendicitis... fortunately they were in time to operate on him... I'm sorry I didn't call sooner, it all happened so fast and... when I got home, I fell asleep," Miwa lowers her voice as she says this last thing. Her lie comes out more naturally than last time, but the guilt is the same as that day when she caught her with the kikufuku bag.
"I figured it had to be something serious for you to disappear like that. You had us worried, the director hasn't stopped asking about you. Well, it's a relief that you're okay. I guess you'll have to stay with your brothers for a few days, we'll see that someone brings you your books so you don't fall behind."
"Thank you, I have a lot of things to do... I wouldn't want to fall behind," she answers, forcing a smile, as if Utahime could see it.
"If you need anything, don't hesitate to call."
When she hangs up the phone, she looks at the screen again, and the forced smile she's making naturally curves and she laughs standing alone.
'See you soon.'
Her mind rests on that promise vibrating inside her and she finally thinks it's time to write back. She comes to overthink every word she is going to use, unconsciously striving to sound more mature than she really is.
'Thanks for the food!' she writes and then deletes. She's afraid he'll think she only has something nice to say about the food. 'It was nice seeing you last night,' she writes in embarrassment and when she feels herself choking, she deletes it immediately. 'When,' she begins and instantly realizes how desperate that message sounds.
Her inexperience is overwhelming. She doesn't even know how to start a conversation and then comes to the conclusion that she can't pretend to be something she's not. Even if she looks like an idiot.
'Good morning Gojo-san! Thanks for the food and for taking care of Sochi yesterday, I'm sorry I fell asleep during our conversation. Is there any way I can make it up to you when you get the chance?'
She adds a smiley emoji to disguise her nervousness, presses send and rereads her own message a couple of times until she sees him online and he opens her message. Miwa feels like her heart has pounded so hard in her chest that she closes the messaging app and puts the cell phone down on the table.
He's seen it! Almost immediately! Is he replying? Is he texting? Is he rejecting her proposal?
Irrational fears sweep through her mind in seconds, battling against other dreamy ideals.
The ring-tone of the cell phone beeps within seconds and Kasumi immediately grabs the mobile. She slides her finger to the general notifications and sees his message without opening it, as she fears he will sense her anxiety.
'I can think of several things, but what do you have in mind?'
Kasumi forgets her strategy, opens the message and starts typing right away.
'I could cook something.'
On the other end of the communication, in Tokyo, Satoru reads that message and smiles to himself. He's not sure if Kasumi has deliberately dodged his insinuation or if she really doesn't appreciate it as such. The thought causes him to feel tenderness.
'I could eat something,' he replies almost instantly and remains seated watching his cell phone screen. He chuckles slightly as he notices that Kasumi doesn't take long to open it and starts typing instantly.
'What do you like to eat?'
'I doubt what I like to eat is on the menu, so surprise me.'
'Perfect!'
Gojo sees the message. Miwa looks at the screen and then closes the app. She starts thinking about different dishes and mentally crunching numbers, she can't go too far out of her budget. She'll have to stop by the market to see what's on offer.
The uncertainty in her grows, it feeds on the latest events like a famished creature. Kasumi is left with certain doubts. But given the circumstances she knows it's not Gojo's fault he hasn't answered them.
The status of their relationship, the more specific details of their agreement, of 'taking things slower'. It had been left up in the air, there is no solemnity about it. However, there is no room for bitterness or distrust in Miwa's naive heart. She couldn't be happier, even if she wanted to.
She takes a quick shower and leaves the house with Sochi to look for Kano at the hospital. She only stops by the door when she sees something out of the ordinary. A cigarette butt lies dry, blackened with tobacco, right next to the door of his brothers' apartment.
She finds it strange, as smoking is forbidden in the inner corridors of the apartment building.
An idea crosses her mind and she decides to clear it up as soon as possible
'Do you smoke?'
As she sends the message, she feels her younger brother's hand pulling her forward. Miwa almost loses her balance and leaves with Sochi. They take the subway and walk to Kyoto Teishin Hospital.
Upon arrival a nurse fills her in on the situation, nothing out of the ordinary. The boy is fit to go home under the necessary care. In a week he will be as good as new.
Kasumi completely forgets Satoru when she sees her brother sitting in a wheelchair waiting for her at his bedside. He is already dressed and seems to be anxious to get back. Sochi comes over prancing energetically and the first thing Kano does is show him his scar.
A snort mixed with laughter escapes Kasumi's throat. She looks at the incision from afar and grabs the handles of the chair to begin their slow ride home.
"It' gross, cool!" Sochi says.
"You like it? I could have died."
Kano speaks with the typical lightheartedness of his age. And his sister, listening to him, can only invoke patience and rejoice that her brother's case wasn't worse.
"Awesome!"
The boy answers with more excitement. Kasumi knows that the discipline she studies will put her in mortal danger on more than one occasion, and only Sochi would think that's great. Although, upon further meditation, Kasumi thinks Gojo Satoru might give her a similar answer.
A cab later and in short, deliberate strides, the Miwa boys arrive home and seeing the cigarette butt by their front door again, Kasumi remembers the message she sent to Satoru. She checks her cell phone once inside the house, he still hasn't answered. But he has seen her message.
'Do you smoke?'
Satoru reads the message a little confused. He has been fighting all day with young Noboyuki. He takes a moment to look at his cell phone, as the sun sets and Ito is on the ground babbling nonsense.
"Why did I come here? Who let me think this was a good idea? I want to go home... I hate this... I don't want this anymore."
Gojo ignores his whining and reads the same message over and over again as if the next time it will start to make sense.
'Smoke what?" he writes and sends and then smiles. Is Miwa Kasumi offering him drugs?
'Cigarette,' she replies all too quickly.
Her answer is so concise that Satoru senses, it's something important.
'No,' he answers dryly and watches on his screen as she types and deletes a couple of times. He decides to end that torture and asks, 'Why?'
She takes her time and the seconds start to get long. Satoru turns to the boy who's still prostrate on the floor mumbling pitiful moans. The cell phone rings and, as he reads, Gojo's lips turn into a grim line.
'Someone's been smoking outside my brother's apartment, I thought it was you. I guess it's nothing, I'm getting paranoid haha.'
As if the scene manifested in front of him, Satoru inhales the stench of ashes and dirty clothes. The smell of Isao Miwa still lingers in his memories, like the cruelest reminder of Kasumi's past.
"Fuck," he breathes to himself. "Fuck."
"Sensei?"
"Huh? It's nothing, keep whining. I'll be back in an hour."
Another quick getaway to that horrendous house. He has to do it, if his hunch is right it could be that he's screwed up. And with that thought he puts on his jacket, swaps the dark glasses for the black band and gets out of the school premises as quickly as possible.
He boards the JR Pass bullet train. Two hours and forty minutes that feel terribly interminable, it's a martyrdom and Gojo's swaying foot is a clear sign of his anxiety. One he feels on rare occasions, which only means that something is out of his control.
Ijichi starts to call him and picks up, knowing full well that he'll have to lie.
"Yeah," he answers in an unusual tone.
"Satoru... The director requires your presence..."
"Tell him I'll be there in an hour."
"That's what you told Noboyuki... two hours ago."
"Hey, hey, hey. Ijichi, are you calling me a liar?"
"Gojo..." Ijichi sighs on the other end of the line. "An hour?"
"Something like that," he laughs. "Ijichi, do me a favor. Cover for me, I have something important to do, but I can't tell you what it is. It's something only the great Gojo Satoru can do, and if I go back now, I might jeopardize the safety of a couple of kids."
"Kids? Gojo-san, the principal will be very upset with me if..."
"But I'll be more upset. Hey, Ijichi, do you want a couple of innocent children to get hurt?"
"N-No! Of course not... But..."
"Thanks, Ijichi, I'm counting on you," he replies and hangs up.
He looks at the time, he'll have to act quickly and for that he'll have to slightly abuse the divine power he possesses. He gets off the train at the station and looks for a secluded place to join hands and in the blink of an eye he is next to the door of that gloomy apartment.
This time he doesn't repeat the procedure of the previous time. He can hear a television on the other side of the door and decides to be polite enough to knock. He knocks softly with his knuckles and the volume of the TV is turned down. He hears footsteps on the other side and the doorknob turns in front of him.
The same face marked by a prison fight, with a cigarette dangling between his lips. Seeing the cigarette smoke, he imagines him for a second standing in front of Kasumi's door and controls the urgency that begins to swirl in his stomach. The terrible discomfort of not being as omnipotent as he thinks he is.
"You again? What do you want now?"
"Was it you?"
"What a pain in the ass..." He tries to close the door, but Gojo's shoe comes between him and the frame and he peeks through the small open space.
"We both know how this ends. And I'm a little shorter on time today than I was yesterday, so let's get down to business, shall we? I'm not in as good a mood as I'd like to be."
"Fucking weirdo, what the fuck do you want now?"
With a slight movement of his hand the door swings wide open, Isao is thrown to the floor. The rotten wood of the door slams against the wall and the doorknob snaps.
"You really don't want to see me angry," he pouts with his lips, a grimace of displeasure. "Wow, you're slow, aren't you?"
Gojo moves forward, puts his hands in his jacket pockets and walks inside, then puts out a hand and wipes the cigarette smoke from his face.
"Tell me, did you went to her house or not?"
Isao smiles to himself. He seems to have finally realized that he has no way to oppose. He gets up and sits down on one of the worn chairs in his apartment and lights a second cigarette, as if on purpose.
"And what are you going to do about it? Kill me?" He laughs. "Is today my lucky day?"
The stench is more unbearable than the day before. Gojo doesn't want to go any further inside and decides not to answer his question. The truth is, he would rather not have to kill a human.
"They are my children," he continues in a less haughty tone. "I have a right to see them."
"You said you hated them."
"No, I said I hated to hear Kasumi talk about those monsters. You know, when you came here asking about them, I started to think. I always loved those kids, they were the ones I couldn't stand, Kasumi and her mother. The boys shouldn't be raised without a father..."
"The boys are better off without the father they have."
"That's not for you to decide, kid."
If only Isao knew he was talking to the most powerful man on earth, he wouldn't be calling him a kid now.
Satoru's expressionless face hides a myriad of ideas about what he could do with Isao without anyone knowing. He has to take care of it.
"Well, did I screw up," he comments, about to laugh.
Isao looks sideways at him, surprised by his apparent amusement.
"You really are a freak."
"The weirdest of them all," he replies and turns around to leave.
"Hey," Isao shouts and he stops without turning to face him, "is that it?"
"That's all Isao, easy. Today is not your lucky day either."
Puzzled, Isao Miwa watches as Gojo Satoru leaves, even waving goodbye with his hand.
Once outside the building, Gojo picks up his cell phone and dials a number. He gives an anonymous tip to the police about the illicit business Isao has been running since his release from prison. It's not the way he'd like to deal with it, but at least it will get him off his back for at least five more years. Enough time for Kano to come of age and be totally out of his reach. He'll see later if he still holds the same ideas, but by then Sochi will have at least twelve years without the presence of this horrendous father.
A couple more days go by and his absence once again takes center stage in Kasumi's mind. Gojo hasn't responded to her last message and she'll be going back to school shortly, and she'll miss her chance to cook for him. It looks like she will have to get used to the schedules of the most important man in the world.
At least she has been entertaining herself by playing board games with her brothers, helping them with their homework and listening to Kano's ideas for the manga he has started drawing.
During the morning she received a call from Utahime, she sent her greetings from all her classmates, although she is sure that Todo has not noticed her absence at all.
Kasumi cleans the apartment down to the tiniest corner. She needs to occupy her mind with something other than Satoru's endless silences. She has an apron on and walks around the house in shorts. As she is ironing clothes, the doorbell rings and she sees Sochi running down the hallway at full speed.
"Sochi! Don't open the door without...!"
The boy freezes, takes a few steps back and lets go of the doorknob. Kasumi looks at the man on the other side and after snapping out of her confusion, smiles.
"Mechamaru!" she waves and steps forward.
He brings a backpack and stands in the hallway, looks through the incandescent green of his gaze at the gawking boy.
"Who is it?" Kano shouts from his room.
"A friend!" Kasumi answers.
"Is that a cosplay?" asks Sochi, he can't get over his astonishment.
Mecamaru's mechanical mouth opens to give way to the speaker behind his jaw.
"Utahime-sensei sent me with your homework."
"Come in, Mechamaru," Kasumi invites him, opening the door wide.
Awkwardly, Mechamaru enters and soon takes out a pile of books from the backpack. He watches the boy, still absorbed in what he thinks is a disguise. Kasumi receives the books and glances at them, the truth is that she is dying to have something else to do since the household chores are slipping through her fingers.
"Take a seat. Sochi! Stop staring at him like that! It's rude," she says to the boy and then turns to him. "I'm sorry... I'm going to leave this in my room, I'll be right back."
Mechamaru ignores the curious eyes on him and inspects the surroundings. His scrutiny is wide. He looks at the pictures hanging on the walls and then at the board game lying in front of a small television. It feels like walking on a shrine, a sacred place. Kasumi's home.
His mechanical walking echoes as he moves slowly to fully see the other side of the room. Everything glistens, the wood gleams. Kirimaru wishes he could breathe that air and know what her home smells like. What perfume Kasumi's skin exudes.
"Hey..." He notices that the boy is tugging at his pants. "Do you want to play with me?"
"Hey, is that the guy you told me about?" He hears from behind him and turns around.
A barefoot boy of medium height approaches with an arrogant gesture, with dark hair and dark eyes. He walks up to him looking at with distrust and remains mute while the other answers him.
"Gojo-sensei? No, this is someone else. He's a friend of Kasumi's, from school."
"Ah... a sorcerer?" she asks as if he wasn't standing there, inspecting him up and down.
"Gojo Satoru?" Mechamaru asks with the certainty that he doesn't need an answer.
"I guess he's okay," Kano says, stretching his arms behind his neck. "Are you something like Cyborg?" he asks, finally acknowledging his presence.
"Cyborg?" Mechamaru questions, not understanding the reference.
"Yes, someone half man, half machine."
He meditates for a moment.
"You could say so..."
"Cool!" they both say at the same time.
"Hey, are you interrogating him?" Kasumi's voice sounds annoyed as she leaves the room. "Leave him alone."
Kasumi stands in front of him again. Mechamaru watches her and from his distant confinement he observes her with some excitement. He hasn't seen that face for days and his smitten heart invades his stunted body with warmth. She smiles, he sighs from afar and then feels the discomfort of Gojo Satoru's presence again.
"I have to go."
"That fast?"
"Stay to play!" begs Sochi.
"We need one more to play charades. I want to team up with Cyborg."
"Cy...? Kano! His name is Mechamaru!"
"I want to be on his team!" Sochi whines again and Kasumi sighs.
Seeing her smile shyly at him, he feels disarmed. Usually he would prefer to decline the invitation, but he can't say no this time. Not when she looks at him that way, at his alternate self. And though he wishes he could be himself, he doesn't have the courage to turn her down, to turn down this opportunity.
"All right."
Kano and Sochi don't take long to run off, Kasumi scolds them and reminds her brother of the stitches in his abdomen. They find a chair, grab the snacks Satoru gave Sochi and fill the table with food that Mechamaru can't ingest. And while the children leave for Kano's bedroom in search of the charade's cards, Kasumi and he wait for them in the living room.
He's not sure what to say. He's not the most talkative man ever, and after watching at least twenty times the video they shot for the Sister School Exchange, he knows he's not her type at all. Since he only meets one of the requirements on Kasumi's list. She is, without a doubt, the only one who exists in his eyes.
"Gojo-sensei was here?" he asks her suddenly and sees with disappointment the way her body stiffens. He already knew the answer to that question beforehand, but it comes out of his lips with no power within his own body to stop it.
"Uhm... Well, yes. I mean, I... It was the day Kano was in the hospital... He was around so he stayed with Sochi. It's no big deal..."
Her exaggerated laughter is nothing but a cloak of lies. He can see it clearly and the idea that he is pursuing something more from her irritates him.
In the tub he sinks into, he presses his bandaged fists. Skin covered in ulcers and sores bursting under the pressure of his fingers.
"Can you... do me a favor and not mention it to anyone? I wouldn't want there to be any misunderstandings."
"Sure."
The boys are back soon. He makes a superhuman effort to forget what he has just learned. He tries not to imagine, to erase Gojo Satoru's repulsive face from his mind. But, despite the laughter he occasionally shares, he doesn't completely succeed. It's not until he sees Miwa smiling on her cell phone screen that a stinging needle sinks into his abdomen.
'Tomorrow I could make some time,' read Kasumi from the owner of her sleepless nights.
N/A: Thank you so much to euridecee, Mia, Ch1ll and one Guest for your comments!