Chapter 6

14 October 1998

1:15pm

A soft breeze blew rustling the trees. A couple of leaves broke free and delicately floated down above them, as Teddy grabbed at them from his spot on the quilt underneath the tree by the Black Lake. Normally, children weren't allowed on Hogwarts property, or visitors, but Harry and Ginny learned that McGonagall had just as much of a soft spot for Teddy as she did Harry. Giggling, Teddy waved his hands at the leaves. Some tufts of brown hair peaked out from beneath his knitted hat and his wide eyes circulated autumn hues: gold, brown, red, and oranges.

"Pretty exciting stuff, huh?" Harry glanced over, chuckling. It was one of the first times since May that Ginny had see his smile reach his eyes.

Teddy squealed in delight, as another gust of wind blew through the trees.

"Everything's exciting if you let it be. Especially when you're seeing it for the first time. Isn't that right, Teddy?" Ginny cooed, laying on her back beside of him. She placed a hand behind her head and looked up. The loose leaves appeared to be in a waltz with the breeze, twirling and stepping to an unheard rhythm. "Look, there's more!"

Giggling, Teddy waved his hands faster like doing so would make one of the leaves magically appear in them.

"Didn't think of it like that," Harry mumbled. He rolled over on to his back too, so Teddy was positioned between them.

"Almost got that one," Ginny encouraged Teddy softly, as a leaf floated just to the right of her. Then, she turned on her side to smile at Harry. "Mum always said that's why she had so many of us. That each time was like experiencing everything for the first time again."

Something shifted in Harry's eyes and his grin faltered. For a brief moment, Ginny saw ghosts emerge in the lines on his face – lines that he was much to young to already have. The same ones that aged him and reminded her of everything that he lost – everything that they all lost.

Flopping back on her back, Ginny added, "Of course, Mum just says that to make the boys feel better. We all know she was just waiting of the perfect child – me. Can't say I blame her, but rotten luck she got stuck with the lot of them."

As the words left, she remembered all over again that she had one last brother waiting for her return from Hogwarts. It was so easy to forget since she had been away; almost like May 2nd of a horrible nightmare and couldn't possibility be reality. Then again, if it hadn't happened, then Harry wouldn't have Teddy here with them and they'd be in Hogsmeade on a date like everyone else.

Falling into a silence, Teddy remained oblivious to anything besides what he knew: he was watching these weird floaters fall from the sky. They danced back and forth in mesmerizing colors, and he wanted one. As they fell, they teased him and came close before darting away again. It was a game – new and inviting. Curiously, one yellow leaf grew closer and closer until it landed upon his face. It was dry and wrinkling, and it tickled his nose.

Sneezing, he swatted at the leaf with a shriek.

"Here you go, mate," Harry soothed. He picked up the leaf and picked at it thoughtlessly.

Teddy clapped his thanks.

Harry waited until every piece was picked off of the stem, before asking softly, "You okay?"

Rubbing at her eyes, Ginny nodded. "Yeah. I sort've forgot about Fred."

"Right." Harry cleared his throat. "I still do that with Sirius sometimes."

"You do?" Ginny asked, curiously. She tried not to let her surprise in her voice. She focused on it staying even, because it was so rare for Harry to talk about Sirius, even now, and any hint of emotion usually sealed him up again.

"Yeah, sometimes. I guess it's normal. I don't know. Just do. Like when something new happens, or something I think he'd think is funny. But it's more of just in my head, you know, because how much did I really know him?" Harry fumbled over his words, turning on to his side to tickly Teddy with the stem gently. "I don't know. Doesn't happen as much anymore."

Ginny nodded sullenly. She didn't know what she was expecting, but she didn't know if she fully understood what he meant. In a way, she felt guilty. Many times over the last couple of months, she turned to him to help her grieve. He always listened stoically and gave advise better than anyone. However, she never knew how to give him any in return.

"Anyway," he took a deep breath. "What I'm trying to say is that it's normal. Andy told me that. She's pretty good with this stuff."

"You mean, talking?" Ginny teased lightly. It was odd that she was jealous of an older woman for getting her boyfriend to open up. Andromeda was one of the first people to get Harry to say much of anything during the last five months; she convinced him that he was worthy of grieving, as well.

Harry rolled his eyes. "No. Grieving."

"Oh."

"Yeah." He caught her eye.

His eyes were swarming with a dark fog and she knew that he'd shut down momentarily. She couldn't blame him either. For a minute, she wondered what he saw in her own.

"George's been doing good, by the way," he added.

Obviously, he could see her thoughts in her own eyes because it had been exactly what she had been wondering. May into June was hard for everyone; most of them spent time together, trying to adjust to this weird, new normal. It took until Harry's birthday for Molly to finally begin throwing family gatherings again, and she adopted seemingly everyone for Sunday dinners. The planning kept her busy; business kept her from remembering. But George secluded himself into his room. He had just started emerging for dinners in late August. Percy was always overly supportive and scared George back to his room quickly. Ginny could count on her fingers how many times she had spoken with him since the battle.

"He has?"

"Yeah. Ron's got him back at the shop. They're cleaning it up and hoping to reopen by the holidays," Harry explained.

"Really? Ron?"

Harry tossed the stem away and shrugged. "I'm worried about him."

"I thought you just said George's been doing better?"

"Not him. He has been. I mean Ron," Harry stated matter-of-factly. "Hermione's not around and we don't typically talk about this stuff, but he just seems… off."

"He's with Hermione in Hogsmeade now, though, right? Surely, that'll help."

Harry quieted. He looked down at Teddy in thought. A soft smile appeared on his lips, and he adjusted Teddy's hat to cover his ears.

"Harry, what do you mean?" Ginny asked firmly. Here he was answering her unspoken worries to ignite a new one. "What's wrong with Ron?"

"I don't know," Harry admitted finally. "He's dove headfirst into Auror training, but he's never wanted to be an Auror before. Then, he goes straight to the shop to help George until whenever they stop. Half the time, they come back drunk. Any free time he has, he's helping your Mum, and I don't know. He's just everyone at once. I mean, then, there was the other night with Percy… It's just a lot."

"What happened with Percy?" Ginny pressed on.

Harry sighed, sitting up and looking out over the lake. "I don't know. Okay? I don't ask questions. The other morning Ron was bloody tired and said he hadn't slept because he was with Percy. Got his arse wiped in training, and he should've went home to sleep."

"But he didn't. He went to help George," Ginny finished, catching on finally.

Sitting up, she pulled Teddy on to her lap and kissed his head gently. He squealed and turned to give her wet kisses on her cheek. She wasn't sure why, but she needed him with her for the moment. This small little baby completely unaware of the horrors that his first few months of life have been – completely unaware of a lifetime of grief he'd one day learn.

"It's Ron. He'll be okay," Ginny decided eventually. She had to believe that because Ron was Ron. He was her closest sibling and the one who was always just there when needed. Yeah, he could be a git and a jerk, but in the end, he always came back when needed.

Shrugging, Harry turned and smiled at Ginny holding Teddy. His face softened, looking closer to his normal age than ever - just a teenage boy with his whole life ahead of him.

"What are you thinking about, Potter?" Ginny asked, glancing over the top of Teddy's head. She bounced him on her knee as he clapped his hands wildly.

"How you said being around babies is like experiencing everything again new," Harry started slowly. "I'm used to this, you know, dealing with shitty things happening, but this is new. It's weird, and I don't know what to do."

Ginny hummed, encouraging him to continue and hugging Teddy closer.

"Helping others deal with it. I just… Ron's always been there, and I can't seem to find anything to help in return."

"And do you want my opinion?" Ginny rose an eyebrow and smiled softly.

"I mean, yeah?"

She place Teddy on the blanket gently on his back, ignoring his blabbering protests, and crawled over to Harry. Wrapping a hand around his neck, she brought his forehead to hers.

"I know Ron's going to be fine, because I wouldn't have made it through this summer without you and I know you – being the noble git you are – will make sure Ron will be okay, too."

"Andromeda told me to give it time. That everyone deals with this all differently," Harry added, wrapping his arms around Ginny's waist, and pulling her closer.

"Like how you vanish or shut down completely?"

"Or you play Quidditch until you physically pass out?"

"Touché," Ginny mumbled, before giggling. "It's all a little fucked up now, isn't it?"

"Sh, not around the baby!" Harry let go of her to place his hands gently over Teddy's ears playfully.

Ginny let go of him and swatted at him, laughing. "You literally just said shitting in front of him."

Harry gasped, jokingly. "You did it again! Plus, shitting is like totally not like fuck."

"Oh, my bad." She shook her head, biting back her grin.

"Your first words better not be bad, or Granny won't let bad, ol' Ginny around you anymore." Harry laughed, picking Teddy up and tossing him up into the air to Teddy's amusement.

For a split second, Ginny saw her life flash before her eyes. She saw Harry with a small baby, but with black hair and brown eyes, and heard the teasing fights for what would one day be their own child. So clearly, she envisioned it, and it reminded her of what Harry told her when she found him after the battle.

"Harry?"

"Yeah?" He asked, raising Teddy up into the air again and bringing him back down.

"Did you mean what you said back in May? About your future?"

Slowly bringing Teddy back into his lap, Harry looked back at her. "Yeah. Of course, I did. Nothing would be better than that. Well, in a few years' time. But –"

"Harry, stop rambling!" Ginny giggled. She placed a hand on the side of his face. "I want that to. Not now. But after school and Quidditch. When it can be just you and me."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah."

Grinning, Harry placed one hand around Ginny and pulled her close – kissing her deeply. "One day then?"

She laughed. "One day."

12 June 2003 (11 Weeks)

6:15pm

The memory played on repeat in Ginny's mind, as she let herself through the barrier and into the front garden of her childhood home. Seeing the Burrow raise from the ground in its jagged fashion calmed down the nerves flopping around in her belly. She tried not to think about what else was probably flipping alongside the nerves. No, she couldn't let that on her mind right now. She was already over an hour late; dinner started at five sharply every Sunday. Thinking about it would only make her turn back.

Instead, she held strong to the memory. It had popped in her mind early that morning covered in dust after years of being pushed away, only for it to grow stronger with each replay.

One day.

She remembered how assured she felt in that moment, where in the wake of grief she realized that she, too, had a whole life of her still to dream, and this baby was that to her seventeen-year-old self. Well, Quidditch had been, as well, but she still had it and Ron had been right: nothing ever went as expected surrounding Harry.

One day.

It sounded like such a far-off date. It felt like a far-off date. However, as Ginny touched her stomach gently, she knew that it wouldn't be as far away as she wanted, or had she expected. Because Ron had been right again, she wanted this baby despite how terrified it made her and how she was sure she'd muck it up. It was hers, and it was his. It was both of theirs one day.

As she approached the Burrow, she heard muffled voices from conversation through the open window beside of the door. One of the babies were crying. Tugging on her loose-fitting jumper, ensuring one again that the small bump wasn't noticeable, she opened the door.

Immediately, all conversation around the table and kitchen stopped. Fleur stood near by bouncing a sniffling Dominique, while Audrey sat in a nearby chair with Molly II in her lap. George was leaning against one of the kitchen counters with Angelina Johnson whispering something to him. That was new.

"Ginny, dear! You made it!" Molly exclaimed, bustling towards her.

"Sorry I haven't been around, Mum. Things have just been crazy," Ginny apologized, leaning into the hug. She stood awkwardly though, bent over at the waist, to keep her stomach from touching her mum. The last thing she needed was for it to be spilled to everyone else before she could talk with Harry.

Molly pulled away and looked Ginny up and down. Nodding, she patted Ginny's shoulder. "Just so you know, dear, Harry's here. Just in the den with your father and the lot."

"Okay? He's been coming here since I was ten, Mum. I figured as much," Ginny stepped away from Molly's touch and folded her arms over her chest.

"I just wanted to let you know. Hermione's said that the two of you –"

"Mum!" Ginny shouted exasperatedly.

"Zee just got 'ere, Molly. Why not let 'er zit down? I can warm you up a plate, oui?" Fleur floated over to them, smiling softly at both of them.

Dominique squealed with delight and began reaching her hands toward Ginny when she saw her.

"Hey, girl, missed me, yeah?" Ginny cooed, taking the one-year-old from her mum and transitioning her to her hip.

Dominique reached up and placed slobbery kisses on her cheek as a response.

"Yeah, I missed you too!" Ginny rubbed her nose against the little girl's and brushed past Molly towards the table. "Thanks for the offer, Fleur, but there's no need. I'm not that hungry."

"There's tons of leftovers. You have to eat something.," Molly worried, glancing Ginny up and down again.

"I'm fine, Mum. I've already ate," Ginny assured. She took a sit at the table across from Audrey. "How's Molly been doing?"

Sighing, Audrey glanced up. "Teething's got her feeling absolutely crummy."

"Zee will be fine. Don't 'ou worry," Fleur commented, sitting next to Ginny. "Victoire was 'orrible, but Dominique iz fine so far."

Ginny nodded, unsure what to add to the conversation. It was odd to think that she'd be joining in on them in roughly six months. One day was certainly coming much faster than she'd hoped. Teething, dirty nappies, feedings, and what else? She tried to remember as much as she could from Teddy and her nieces, but the truth was that she hadn't been there for most of it. With Teddy, she was away at Hogwarts and then she was in Holyhead for Quidditch. She was just the fun aunt that came and went, who they heard about on the radio and saw in Quidditch posters. She wasn't their mummy; it would all be different with the one growing inside of her. She would be their whole world.

"Are you sure you're okay? You look a bit peaky," Molly continued on.

"Gee, thanks Mum." Ginny rolled her eyes.

"Mum don't be on her too much. That's just her face," George added from a distance.

Angelina slapped his shoulder playfully.

Furrowing her eyebrow, Ginny pointed between the two of them. "What? Are you…?"

"We're –"

"You'd know if you'd been at the dinners," George interrupted. Then, he turned to a glaring Angelina and mocked whispered, "Don't tell her. Secrets drive her barmy."

Shaking her head, Angelina laughed. "I'm sorry, Ginny. My hands are tied."

George grinned triumphantly, sticking his tongue out.

"Oh, grow up," Ginny feigned annoyance. "Your uncles are just a bunch of children, aren't they?"

Dominique looked up and blew raspberries.

"I'll take that as a yes," Ginny laughed.

Molly remained at a distance, watching her closely. So far, there wasn't an interrogation. It meant that they were either smarter than Ginny took her siblings for or had already spent the evening asking Harry every question in the book. Knowing her family, it was probably the latter. That meant that he either spilled everything or got so mad that he blew up, which meant that they were now too nervous to ask her anything. Knowing Harry, it was probably the latter, as well.

"Honestly, Mum, I'm okay. I promise," Ginny assured again. She handed Dominique back to Fleur and walked over to her. She lowered her voice. "I would tell you if not, you know that."

Molly studied her for a good solid moment, before sighing. "You and I both know that's a downright lie. But fine. Fine. You're an adult now. You can have your secrets."

"And you and I both know that means you'll keep prying until you find out. Message heard," Ginny retorted. "I'm going to go find Harry."

Molly gasped. "I thought –"

"Believe it or not, but Hermione doesn't know everything." Ginny gritted her teeth, walking out of the room and into the den. After Harry, she wanted to have a few words with Hermione, since she apparently knew so much about her life.

Bill leaned against the doorway with his arms folded across his chest talking to Arthur in the chair near the fireplace. Hermione sat on the couch with a book opened in her lap, as stood behind it facing the staircase.

"Papa! Watch me, Papa!" Victoire grinned from the third step and shook the railing eagerly.

"I'm watching, sweetheart," Bill commented absentmindedly, glancing over for just a second.

Without a second thought, Victoire jumped off the stairs and onto the landing.

Ron threw his hands in the air and cheered loudly. "My niece is a stair-jumping champion!"

Giggling, Victoire posed. "I know. Je suis the best!"

"Ugh, that was nothing. I can jump from the tenth step," Teddy argued from the top of the stairs. His face squished between the railings.

"Don't you think that's a little far up?" Harry asked, cautiously.

"No. I can do it. Watch me."

"I mean, yeah, I know you can do it, but if you do it, then Victoire will try it and, I mean, you don't want her to get hurt right?" Harry reasoned carefully, walking closer to the railings.

"We'll then she'll know I'm really the best, because she got hurt because she's a baby!"

"I am not!"

"Are to!"

"Yes, you are, because I can jump from the tenth step and you can't even count to ten."

"Yes, I can! Un, deux, trios –"

Teddy groaned. "In English!"

"Teddy, that's enough," Harry stated. "You're not jumping from the tenth step. That's final."

Crossing his arms over his chest, Teddy stood and narrowed his eyes. "Watch me."

"Teddy," Harry said, warningly.

"C'mon, Ted, the tenth step is crazy high, yeah?" Ron added, returning to the method of reasoning.

Victoire scoffed. "It iz 'cause he can't do it."

"Yes, I can!" Teddy yelled, balling up his fists.

"But Teddy, if you jump and for some reason get hurt, then Granny Andy won't let you come over to play anymore," Ginny stepped in, walking into the room.

"Ginny!" Teddy's face lit up and ran down the stairs.

Squatting down, Ginny gave him a tight hug. "How are you, kid?"

Squeezing her tightly, Teddy whispered, "I could've done it, you know."

"Oh, I know," Ginny replied. She winked at him.

"Auntie Ginny!" Victoire rushed over, as well.

Ginny let go of Teddy and gave Victoire a hug, too. "How's it going Tori?"

"Bein! I've missed you! Where were you?"

Ginny smiled, standing up again. "I've been really busy."

"Really? 'Cause I heard on the radio you aren't playing Quidditch anymore," Teddy stated.

Victoire nodded. "Yeah, Angie was telling Daddy that too."

"Hey, Victoire and Teddy, why don't we go see if there's any more treacle tarts?" Bill asked, clapping his hands together in excitement.

"Yeah!" Victoire shouted, running over to Bill.

Teddy stood his ground for a moment, tapping his foot. Finally, he agreed, "Fine, but I know you haven't been busy, Ginny." He wagged his finger at her and then followed Victoire over.

Bill nodded over at her, before ushering the kids into the other room.

Arthur looked quizzically between the four of them left, and then added, "Treacle tarts sounds nice."

With that, he got up and walked out of the room, giving Ginny a passing wave.

"So, this is nice, yeah?" Ron said cheerfully, once he was sure no one else would come in.

Honestly, Ginny felt exhausted. She had only been at the Burrow for a span of maybe half an hour and she wanted to go home. Plus, finally seeing Harry in front of her made everything she had planned fizzle out of her brain. Why did she agree to come again? What hadn't she just stayed home?

The memory tickled the back of her mind foggily, and she tried to remember the small details that she'd been fixating on during her way over here. However, they all faded and were replaced by memories of her last night and morning with Harry. The look on his face when he saw the brochure, the night spend in his arms, the final words she spoke to him, and the countless nights crying.

Then, she remembered the appointment. The ultrasound of the alien blob growing inside of her. How strong and fast the heartbeat had been. More crying. The fact that she was growing their baby inside of her.

Everything she'd been wanting to bury deep came bubbling out like she was eleven again.

"Want to go outside?" Harry asked finally. He was looking at her oddly, like he wasn't sure what to do next.

Ginny shook her head, blinking back tears. "No. It's dark."

"Okay?" Harry stood awkwardly, not looking away from her.

Honestly, that made it worse. She could feel his eyes boring into her, and she knew he could read her like a book. They'd been together too long not to. Or they had been together for too long. Technically, they didn't exist anymore. It was just him and her. One their own.

"Bloody hell, just go to your old room to talk. Mum'll get over it," Ron stated, signaling up the stairs.

"Okay. Fine," Ginny snapped, leading the way. She brushed past Harry with her head down and didn't look back to see if he was following. However, she knew that he was. The squeaky stairs gave it away.

She walked into the room, keeping her back to him until she heard the door latch. Then, she turned around and burst into sobs simultaneously. "I'm so sorry. I'm a horrible person and I've ruined everything and –"

Her sobs drowned out the rest.

Immediately, Harry wrapped his arms around her and held her close. "Hey, it's okay. I shouldn't have gotten so upset. I mean, it's your body and I really shouldn't have a say and –"

"Fucking Merlin." Ginny sobbed harder, pushing him away. She was shaking and cradling her stomach in her hands. "You think I got rid of it because I'm been so fucking awful. I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have not responded at all."

Stiffening, Harry's eyes widened. "Wait, what?

"I'm still pregnant, Harry. I didn't go through with it. I want to be a Mum, I think. Look!" Ginny fumbled with her back pocket and pulled out the ultrasound picture and handed it over.

Harry took it from her gingerly and frowned at the image. His face hardened and the muscles in his jaw tensed. Then, his features softened, starting with his eyes. They misted up, as he looked up at her again. "You're still pregnant?"

"Yeah. Crazy, right?" She sniffled, calming herself down. She was still shaking, though, and couldn't get herself to stop. It was like she was vibrating from within; her heart pounding a million beats a second.

Harry looked back down at the ultrasound picture again.

Ginny knew exactly what he saw: a tiny blob moving around in funny motions. She had fallen asleep staring at it, and it still felt amazing to her. It was her baby. It still felt alien to her.

"What about Quidditch?"

Ginny shrugged. "It'll be there when I'm ready to return. Anyway, that's not really why. I mean, you know that this is my one day, too. I want it. I really do. If I didn't, you and I both know I wouldn't be here right now. But I do, yet it's all wrong. No. Unexpected, is all."

"Unexpected, yeah," Harry added. "So, what's next?"

Ginny sighed, chewing on her lip. She knew the question was coming and she knew what she had to say, but she wanted to do the opposite. She wanted to jump into his arms and let him assure her that everything would be alright, but in the morning, she knew it would all come flooding back. It would keep coming back until she figured it out herself. Brunette and Morgan were right; she had to figure herself out.

"I love you, you know I do, but I can't live my life for you. Since I was ten, I knew I was going to be Harry Potter's girlfriend. And it was amazing and wonderful and more than I dreamed. I was going to be a Quidditch player, and it was everything that I had hoped. But along the way, I don't know, I think I forgot who Ginny Weasley is," Ginny said, shakily.

"So, it's over? Just like that?" Harry asked, rubbing his neck.

"Yes and no. What I need is for you to give me time. If I'm ever going to be a mum, I'm going to need myself, but I don't like who that is right now. So, how could I possibly raise a child?"

"But I like you," Harry replied, furrowing his brown. "Ginny, you're amazing and strong and I love you."

Wiping away her eyes, Ginny nodded, "I know, but it doesn't matter what you think. Don't you see? I need to do this part for me. I'm sorry."

"Right. Fine. Wonderful," Harry muttered, reaching to give her back the ultrasound picture. "I'll let you be on your way."

"That's not what I mean, and keep the sodding picture," Ginny retorted; exhaustion crashing over her like a wave. "I love you, but I need to love myself too."

"But why can't you let me help you with this?" Harry protested, raising his voice.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped closer to him and placed a hand gently on his cheek. "During the war, I let you break up with me and waited for you with no question asked. Now, I'm asking you to do the same. Please."

"Gin," his voice cracked. "What if you don't come back?"

"What if you hadn't come back?" She asked in a whisper. "At least in this case, neither of us will die, and you'll still be a dad."

"And you a mum," Harry replied, resting his forehead against hers.

A mum. Ginny like the way it sounded from Harry. Gently taking his hand, she placed it upon her stomach.

She didn't know how long they stood like that, but all she knew is that they didn't speak or break apart until Hermione knocked on the door and said Bill, Fleur, and the girls were leaving. Teddy was asleep on the couch.

And for the first time in a long while, Ginny felt a strength inside of her – a power.

They were going to be alright. Maybe not today, but soon.

At least, that's what she thought.