Where our story begins

Chapter seven

She was walking faster and faster, yet it was getting her nowhere. The door in front of her was as far away as it had been the entire time. Fear was gripping at her heart and she felt an immense urgency to reach that door before her. Why? Julia couldn't really tell—but she recognised the hallway she was in as the one leading to her parents bedroom, and the door must have been theirs. She couldn't remember how she had gotten here, nor what had brought her in the first place; she just knew that there was danger afoot. In particular, her father was in danger. Again no valid arguments, though it seemed abundantly clear to Julia nonetheless.

"Father!" she called out, but got no reply. She tried to run to the door, but found that the rug beneath her was simply piling up behind her and she was still not getting any closer.

Stopping for a moment she realised that, aside from her heavy breathing, there wasn't a sound around. That was strange. It was the middle of the day; there should've been people out and about, but she appeared to be entirely alone.

Or was she?

"He'll be okay, Julia. I promise. There is nothing you can do for him now." James' voice sounded from behind her, and she turned quickly. She was greeted by piles upon piles of rug—at least twice her height. He was behind them, she was certain—his voice was close by.

"James?!" she called out, stepping to the pile and realising it was solid, like stone.

"I'm here," he replied, still close even if she could not see him.

Julia grabbed the hem of her wide skirt and bundled it up to free her feet as she began to climb towards the sound of James's voice. She wasn't getting any closer to the door, but perhaps James would be able to answer her questions. The climb seemed endless, though her panting barely increased, as if she had suddenly found a power, an endurance she had never known existed. Reaching the top, she could finally see James standing at the bottom of the pile. A pile which somehow had gotten three times as high. Her feet slipped and she quickly dropped to her knees, the long drop to the bottom making her shiver.

"What is going on?" Julia asked nobody in particular, though James was the only one in the vicinity to answer. He didn't say a word though. He simply offered her that sweet smile of his, while he stared at her with the same intensity as he had the night of the ball. She hoped it was love.

"James, I'm scared," she said, her voice suddenly much smaller as fear tightened her throat.

"Don't be. I'm here! I'll always be here," he promised and she really wanted to believe him. She wanted to put all her faith in him.

With that realisation, Julia stood up, carefully taking small steps down the enormous pile of solid rugs. She slipped a few times, desperately grabbing at any edge she could find, just to keep herself upright. She managed to keep from falling, though her hands were now full of dirt and blood. Apparently this wasn't a pile of rugs anymore. Exhaustion pulled at her tired limbs, but she persevered—walking until she was ready to give up altogether.

That was when James's voice reached her ears again. "Julia, I'm right here!"

"Help," she called back to him, feeling weak and helpless.

She reached out to him, arms outspread, wanting him to hold her or catch her perhaps. But James wasn't moving; he stood in the exact same position—unmoving. Julia was so exhausted though, too exhausted to go on. She kept reaching for James as her feet slipped again, and this time she could not stop herself from falling.
She screamed as her world turned black.

"Miss! Are you all right?" Mary asked as Julia sat up in her bed with a start, cold sweat clinging to her skin.

Julia felt out of breath and slightly confused as she met the kind, worried face of her oldest friend. Placing a hand over her heart, she found it beating rapidly, and she took a deep breath in an attempt to steady herself. Flashes of her nightmare came to her, and she closed her eyes momentarily to banish them from her thoughts. She'd had nightmares before, strange ones, frightening ones, but this one really seemed to take the cake.

"My apologies, Mary. Have I given you a fright?" Julia asked, forcing herself to smile as her heartbeat returned to a normal pace. She opened her eyes slowly, seeing Mary still staring at her.

"I came to wake you, but then you screamed," Mary explained, as she finally moved again and fetched some water to dab on Julia's face—a gesture for which Julia was very grateful.

"I'm sorry, Mary. I must have been having a bad dream. I'm better now."

"Would you like me to draw you a bath?" Mary offered, and Julia readily accepted. It would give her some time to gather her thoughts before she faced anyone else.

Julia had an inclination of where her anxiety came from, though it didn't appear to have much to do with the events of her dream. Either way, she needed a little more time to gather her thoughts before going downstairs. Her mother would want to talk about the ball; she'd want to hear what Julia's favourite parts of the night were, and her favourite dance. She might even ask who her favourite dance partner was—mostly because she had found the answer to it already and needed the confirmation. Julia had barely spoken to her parents at the ball, and they would want to know everything she had experienced. And since they would most likely have seen her smiling bright for most of the night, these were normal questions for a parent to ask their child.

She was certain, however, that her parents had missed the moment that had given her such anxiety to induce a nightmare. She was intent on keeping them ignorant of that fact. It would do them no good to share the fear she had momentarily felt. She would discuss it with Natalia first. She would know what to do.

Julia took the cloth that Mary had used to dab her face and took it to her neck. The cold sweat finally seemed to be retreating. Stepping out of the bed, she walked towards the bathroom attached to her room. Long ago it had been a dressing room, but when bathrooms had become a regularity, Julia's grandparents had made the choice to place it in the dressing room. All these years later, Julia was grateful for the choice they made. Though, as she watched Charlie lugging buckets of water, she could only hope that her parents would continue the remodelling and modernising and include indoor plumbing. They were modern people — this should be a modern house, should it not?

When the bath was fully ready, she thanked Mary and Charlie profusely before gently shooing them out of the room and stepping into the warm water. A deep sigh escaped her as she lowered herself in the water and the steam rose up around her. Her hair had been expertly braided before bed and was now rolled up on her head to keep it from getting wet. It gave Julia the freedom to lean her head back, and she made a conscious effort to relax her body.

Her feet were still a little sore from all the dancing, and she smiled at the memory of her dances with James. She'd been nervous around him all of the sudden, and she had struggled to understand why, until her conversation with Natalia. She and James had never spoken of their intentions. Their walks, their conversations—they had all happened in such an organic manner that neither of them had ever stopped to think of it. However, Julia could not deny that, slowly but surely, it had gone from regular interactions with a guest to something akin to courting.

Eventually she would have to ask James if this was what he wanted. A conversation was necessary, for her heart was in the game, and she needed to know where they stood. For now though, she was intent on dreamily remembering their night and telling herself it was in fact a romantic connection that had grown between them.

Unfortunately for Julia, the night hadn't been all fun. Lord Rumlow had been acting rather peculiarly improper. He had been most forceful in their conversations, and Julia had not liked it one bit. After their dance, she had escaped and found James, who had quickly been able to sooth her worries—even without knowing the full extent of them. But Lord Rumlow had quickly shown her that James could not always be around. It had happened near the end of the night, when Natalia and Julia had taken a stroll around the manor to admire the hard work that Natalia had put into the decorations. The men had gathered in the drawing room where they were having a smoke while the band was taking a short break—they were joined by virtually every other man at the ball. At least one had slipped their notice though.

When one of the maids had come for Natalia with some questions and Natalia had followed her to another room, Lord Rumlow had been there to corner Julia.

"Julia, I must confess that our conversation wasn't as I had hoped it would be," he had started, and Julia had nodded, unsure what she could say. It certainly hadn't been anything she had expected to happen.

"I apologise. I only meant to warn you," Lord Rumlow spoke softly, glancing around. Probably to make sure there would be no eavesdropping.

The gesture made Julia nervous. "For Lord Barnes?" she asked to clarify, "Who has been nothing but a gentleman, even in the face of your imprudent questions the other night?"

"You should ask him about his business with your father," Lord Rumlow said. He spoke harshly, his patience clearly wearing thin.

"I shan't. Now please, I must find Natalia," Julia said, her voice steady and strong, despite her nerves. She'd always been a tad wary of her neighbour. Always felt an almost imperceptible anger radiating from him, simmering just underneath the surface. There wasn't enough horsepower in the world to make her spend time alone with this man, she thought as she scurried away in search of anyone to cling to for company.

"I was hoping we could go for a ride today," James said softly once they were seated at the dining room table. It appeared that Julia hadn't been the only one with a slow start of the day, and instead of having food sent to their rooms, her parents had decided to make an elaborate early lunch. Or a late breakfast. "It would be preferable to a walk as my feet might need some more time to recover from all the dancing," Julia answered with a smile.

"As do mine, and I only danced a fraction of what you did," James grinned.

"That's because you only danced with Carolina and me," Julia teased and James smiled back.

"I could've easily done without Carolina's superb dancing." James stared into her eyes as he spoke, and Julia could feel a flutter in her belly. Was she wrong to think that perhaps he had noticed the change between them as well? If so, he certainly didn't appear to be pulling away.

"And accept only my mediocre dancing?" Julia asked, teasing tone still in her voice.

"My dearest Julia, your dancing was perfection," James insisted and Julia felt her cheeks heating in a blush.

"What are you whispering about, little sister?" Alexander asked, smiling brightly as Julia scowled at him.

She should've known that her brother would stick his nose in her business now that he was here. And since the men had agreed on no business today, he had plenty of time to satisfy his curiosity. She couldn't really blame him—they'd never been apart as long as they had been since his marriage, and while Carolina was a faithful penpal, he was not. Alexander often forgot to send a letter and sometimes to even write a reply. Julia loved him dearly, but he was a tad scattered at times, much like their father in a way.

"We were discussing the possibility of a little outing today," James answered for her.

"An outing?" Carolina asked excitedly. "Like a walk?" She had known of the daily walks James and Julia took and had already expressed that she wished to be a fly on the wall for those—this would offer her a front row seat. Of course the conversations would be a tad different with Carolina there.

"Our poor feet might need some rest before we can return to our daily walks, so perhaps on horseback instead," James said with a smile. He had hoped to spend some time alone with Julia to talk, but it wasn't in him to be rude in the face of all the kindness that Carolina showed. He also didn't think Alexander would let up on his curiosity about their interactions. He'd made several inquiries with James already. He had wanted to know James's intentions with his little sister and James could not fault him for that.

"Could I impose myself on this outing?" Carolina asked hopefully, and Julia nodded with a smile.

"The more the merrier," Julia said, before glancing at James and wondering for a moment if he was as disappointed as she was about the prospect of having company. As wonderful as said company was, she had hoped to speak to James in private—or semi privacy at least. Mary had been their chaperone for most of their walks, and she would never share a word of what she overheard.

"This was such a good idea," Carolina said as she took a deep breath of fresh air. They'd left the manor some fifteen minutes earlier and were walking at a leisurely pace along the road that would lead them to a nearby forest. The afternoon sun was warm enough to battle the chilly wind that had been blowing all week and it was absolutely lovely—Julia wasn't fully experiencing it though.

James and Alexander were walking a little ways ahead of them, laughing and joking with one another. Julia stared at their backs and wondered what her brother had said to make James laugh so generously—James wasn't this relaxed very often. During the many weeks that he had been with them, she often saw the stress clearly displayed on his frame. The serious face, sometimes a frown, the tense raised shoulders—none of it had escaped her notice. Often it was better when they were on their walks, though she had seen him getting lost in thought a few times. On those occasions, the frown lines in his face had increased. There was something heavy weighing on him, and she wished she could help him carry the load. As it was, she could only hope that her brother could be of some assistance. After all, she was just a girl, and men rarely shared their burdens with the women in their life, especially if they weren't married to them.

"Yes, Carolina, it certainly was. I'm glad I thought of it," Carolina said mockingly, and Julia laughed as she was pulled from her thoughts.

"My apologies," Julia said, and she glanced at Carolina to find the other woman smiling brightly.

"Do you think you could love him?" Carolina asked, looking ahead to the men.

"I think I could," Julia confessed, and saying it aloud made it feel more real. The fluttering she had felt at the dinner table returned with a vengeance, and she decided that she liked the feeling.

"Isn't that the most exciting feeling there is?" Carolina asked, love clear on her face as she looked at Alexander's back.

"And a little frightening, honestly," Julia said softly, a slight blush on her cheeks.

"But it can turn into such beauty, Julia," Carolina said, and Julia smiled, a little unsure.

She trusted Carolina with all her heart, but there was so much that she didn't know about James. And there were things that linked him to her father that caused tension. She wasn't entirely sure how it was all intertwined, but she knew that it was. Julia never did well with being uninformed, but she knew better than to straight out ask any of the people involved. Perhaps at some point, James would inform her himself—if he felt for her as she felt for him.

'Have you noticed that he rides one-handed?" Carolina asked a little while later.

"I hadn't," Julia said, looking towards the men. They were now nearing the tree line ahead. Suddenly it appeared clear as day that James was only using his right arm. His left arm was loosely crossed over his torso. She wondered why this was. She had seen him favour his right side before, though not quite this much.

"I wonder what that's about," Carolina said. Julia knew that her sister-in-law wasn't half as curious as she was, so it would be up to her to figure this out. Not today though—today she had other subjects to discuss with James if they ever had a moment alone.

Julia squinted at the sunlight reflected in the water before them. They'd spent an hour or so riding and had decided on a well deserved break along the lake in the center of the forest. Alexander had spread out a large blanket and surprised everyone with wine and cake—courtesy of Maudlin.

"When did you arrange this?" Carolina asked, smiling as she took a bite of her cake, before leaning back against her husband's shoulder. Alexander himself was leaning against a large tree and he looked very pleased with himself.

"When you were all getting changed into your riding frocks, I made some quick inquiries, and as it happened, Maudlin had already baked a cake for tea today," Alexander said with a smug smile on his face.

"Please tell me she held something back for mother and father," Julia asked, as she too munched on her cake. She was careful though; she'd always been told that a lady eats neatly and calmly. If she needed to convince James of her qualities as a wife, she would not do so by eating like a pig.

"Naturally, Maudlin would never let me take all of it," Alexander chuckled.

A short while later James stood up from the blanket and turned to Julia. "Would you care for a stroll by the waters edge?" he asked, and Julia was eager to accept his hand to help her upright.

Standing, Julia took a moment to brush off some imaginary dust from her dress and catch Carolina's eye. Her sister-in-law nodded her head encouragingly, almost imperceptible, but it was still clear enough for Julia to see and understand. At this moment, she was happy to know the other woman so very well.

"I was hoping to catch you alone today," James confessed as he threw a small pebble in the water. It skipped three times before it sank.

"Me too," Julia said, craning her neck to follow his movements as she tried to discover how he made those pebbles skip.

Catching her attempts to follow his hands, James chuckled and handed her a pebble. "Hold the flat part as the underside," he started, "then take it between your thumb and ring finger, like this." He demonstrated every move as he said it, really breaking down the action for her. For him it might've been simple, but Julia was glad that he didn't make her feel silly for not knowing.

"Now, pull your arm back, just like that." James gently directed her arm into position. "And throw."

Julia did as instructed, and her pebble skipped once before sinking. She happily turned to James, jumping in place with excitement.

"I've never been able to do that," she said, a bright smile on her face.

James couldn't help but smile in return—she looked utterly adorable in her enthusiasm. And the fact that he had been the person to cause this response made him feel emboldened enough to say the words he'd been wanting to speak. Looking back at their companions, he saw them engrossed in conversation together. They wouldn't eavesdrop or interrupt them for now.
He could tell Carolina and Alexander were happy together; their body language spoke to that fact; both relaxed and sitting close together. He hoped to achieve that with Julia one day.

Now that he had assured himself that they were not within hearing distance, he finally broached the subject that had been heavy on his mind throughout the week, with it coming to a strong climax last night. He'd been fond of her from the get-go, but last night told him that it was more than that. He was falling for the beautiful lady standing next to him.

"Julia, I was wondering if we could talk about a few things." His mouth ran a little dry and he suddenly forgot how to hold his arms. He's been searching the ground for more pebbles, pushing the stones aside with his feet, but he knew he should not put this off any longer—who knew how long Alexander would give him? They would soon have to return to the house.

"Anything, James," Julia assured him, and she felt giddy with anticipation. Would he say what she thought he might? What she hoped he would?

"I've really been enjoying my time here," James started a little shakily. "In particular our walks, and our conversations."

"I've been enjoying those as well," Julia said, eager to agree with all he had to say. She was excited, nervous, and scared at the same time, which made it harder to stand still—but she knew she had to at least appear calm outwardly.

"When I first arrived, it had been to discuss business with your father, but our walks were a nice change in scenery." Her responses were calming his nerves a little, but he was still very happy to have thought this conversation through beforehand. He knew what he wanted to say, and he was now more convinced that she would want to hear it. "I appreciated the friendship you offered, your honesty and your curiosity. It was refreshing,"

"And at times slightly unprecedented," Julia countered, and nearly bit her tongue in response. Why couldn't she just keep her mouth closed, she wondered. But James laughed, clearly not put off by her words.

"Perhaps to society, but I liked it," James said, looking her in the eyes, trying to assure her of the honesty in his words. "I don't know exactly when it changed for me, but I know that I would like to have more than friendship with you."

"You do?" Julia asked, a little timid, blushing slightly.

"Yes, and I was hoping to ask you if you feel the same," James asked, wringing his hands nervously as he awaited her answer. He wasn't even sure when he had grasped them together.

"I would love to move beyond the friendship we've built, James," Julia finally said and James had to control himself—he wanted to pull her into his arms then and there.

"If I were to speak to your father, would that please you?" he asked, just to be absolutely sure.

"It would, most definitely."

A/n: this took me too long to write, but I hope you like it regardless.