Naruto made two Shadow Clones. "Sasuke, Sakura, consider these two handsome gentlemen your tutors. They'll teach you both at your own pace. I've got my own training to do, and unfortunately you're not at a level where you could keep up with me."
"These aren't standard Clones, are they?" Sakura asked, observing how they pressed down the grass they were standing on.
"Shadow Clones, originally made for recon but excels as a training aid. They have full sentience, but pop with one strong blow. The cool part is that they send their memories when they dispel back to the one who made them," Naruto explained.
"If you'll follow me, Sakura," her assigned 'Naruto' said, walking towards a different section of the Training Ground than the one Sasuke was going.
Once they were alone, Naruto looked to Sakura with a serious expression. "Before we start, Sakura, I have a serious question I need to ask. Do you have an eating disorder?"
"Whatever made you think that?" Sakura asked bewildered.
"You're severely underweight. And the bento you packed for lunch today barely had enough food for a 6-year-old. I ask again, do you have an eating disorder? Anorexia perhaps?" 'Naruto' asked gravely.
Sakura blushed at the conclusion her peer had arrived at. "I'm just on a strict diet, that's all."
Naruto pointedly looked her up and down. "To lose what weight? You're a stick. And about as brittle, no offense."
"I have to stay slim if I want Sasuke-kun to notice me," Sakura protested.
'Naruto' rubbed his temples as he tried to find the words to fix this problem. "You remember Anko-san, the woman who was the cyclops guy's date to the Festival?"
"Yeah," Sakura said in affirmative.
"What did you think about her figure?" 'Naruto' prompted.
Sakura blushed and played with a strand of her long pink hair. "Honestly? I thought I'd cheerfully commit murder to look like her when I grow up."
"Because she has all the things men lust after: the chest, the behind, the trim waist, the long legs…" 'Naruto' got a far-away look before shaking his head. "See, I'm just a Shadow Clone and I think she's hot! You want to look like her in a few years?"
"So much," Sakura admitted.
"Guess what she eats most," 'Naruto' told her.
"Salads?" Sakura guessed.
"Dango," Naruto corrected.
The pinkette's jaw dropped. "You have to be kidding. Dango?"
"Breakfast, lunch, dinner, mid-afternoon snack, midnight dessert, she goes crazy for those sweet dumplings. And the only reason she doesn't look like an Akimichi is because she works it all off. She does more in two hours a day than you do all week at the Academy for physical conditioning," 'Naruto' said plainly. "That's the secret to a body men would kill for: lots of exercise, not caloric restriction."
Sakura fretted. "But won't Sasuke-kun think I'm ugly if I get all muscular?"
'Naruto' was almost ready to tear his hair out. But he dug deep and tried with his most convincing tone "I haven't known Sasuke long, but I know he's obsessed with two things: avenging his clan, and restoring his clan. If and when Itachi is left out for the maggots, Sasuke is going to start seriously looking for his future wife. And you can bet your last ryo his main qualifications is that they'll produce strong, healthy Uchiha babies. He'd start with the Jonin and work his way down, and that's assuming he limits his search to just Konoha. So if I were you and I wanted to be Uchiha Sakura someday, I'd train like you wanted to become the first female Hokage, the strongest woman in the whole village! That'd be a sure-fire way to get his attention."
Sakura couldn't fault Naruto's logic. It seemed daunting, but just the thought of Sasuke looking at her with love in his eyes filled her with boundless determination. "So, what're we doing first?" she asked her 'Naruto'.
While Naruto's Clones began to tutor Sasuke and Sakura along the same path he'd started Hinata on, Naruto did hard physical exercise at 10 times Earth's gravity. There was a freedom in the hard struggle to even stand, let alone do push-ups and squats and suicide runs. When his internal clock chimed 8:00 pm, Naruto called out "TIME!" to make everyone in the Training Ground stop. He walked over to where he left his top, using a mild Water Chakra control exercise to wick the sweat off his body. He walked up to Sasuke and Sakura, who barely looked able to stand. "Good work today, guys!" Naruto patted each on the shoulder, filling their chakra reserves from his own stores.
Sakura's jaw dropped. "That… that's supposed to be impossible. No one can adjust their chakra signature enough to transfer to another without being rejected!"
"Then call me Impossible-san," Naruto shrugged. "I learned it in the Order. We know lots of things you outsiders haven't figured out yet."
"How come we're doing chakra control exercises and meditation while you're doing… all that?" Sasuke asked, gesturing at the horde of orange Shadow Clones slowly dispeling 25 at a time.
"Because you're not ready for 'all that'. If and when you join me at my level, I'll be happy to train just as hard as I can with you alongside me. Until then, you got to put in the work building a foundation to stand on, same as I did. There's no shortcuts to power, Sasuke." Naruto paused. "Correction: there's no healthy shortcuts to power. Power earned is always more reliable than power borrowed or stolen."
"I'm so hungry," Sakura groaned, clutching her stomach. "And Mom will have made my usual dinner. That's not nearly enough."
"Tell you what. How about as a celebration of our first day training together, I treat us all to dinner?" Naruto offered.
Sasuke's stomach grumbled audibly. Fighting a blush, the Uchiha Heir grunted "Hnn,", his usual mode of affirmation.
"Sure, Naruto, that sounds nice," Sakura grinned.
Naruto held out his hands to his two potential teammates. "Grab hold tight. I'm not sure how this feels like as a passenger."
"How what feels?" Sasuke asked suspiciously.
"Teleportation. It's perfectly safe, don't worry," Naruto comforted.
Hesitant but willing to trust the positive blond, Sasuke and Sakura took his hands. With a thought and a mild effort of chakra, the three of them appeared in Naruto's apartment. "Welcome to my home. Wipe your feet please," Naruto said jokingly.
Sakura shook her head. "That wasn't the Body Flicker, was it?"
"Nope. Flying Thunder God," Naruto said casually, looking around for his wallet.
Sasuke's eyes were wide, the equivalent of another man screaming. "The Flying Thunder God Jutsu was known only to the Fourth Hokage."
"Actually, Second-sama invented the base formula. My dad's just the one who made it famous," Naruto said casually.
Sakura knocked on her ear with her palm. "I'm sorry, I think I heard you wrong. Did you say your dad made the Jutsu famous?"
"Oh yeah, son of the Fourth Hokage. It's really not that big a deal, though," Naruto shrugged. "Oh, and Sasuke doesn't know this part. Dad didn't kill the Kyuubi. He sealed him inside me. There's my two big secrets out in the open."
Sasuke pinched his nose. "If, I repeat, if that's true, why are you telling us?"
"Because we're aiming to become a ninja team in a few months. I figure that if I'm going to trust you guys with my life, I might as well trust you with my secrets as well. But that's just me. Feel free to keep your own deepest, darkest secrets to yourself. Now, follow me to dinner!" Naruto declared dramatically as he opened his front door.
Sakura moaned a little at the information overload. "What have we gotten ourselves into, Sasuke-kun?"
"Not sure," Sasuke admitted. "But I got a feeling it'll be worth it." So saying, Sasuke followed Naruto out, Sakura catching up behind.
They had a pleasant, delicious dinner at Ramen Ichiraku, Sakura surprising herself by eating two Extra Large bowls all by herself. Conversation was intentionally kept light, just three buddies from the Academy catching a late dinner. Naruto paid as promised and waved his companions goodbye at the end of the meal. Then, figuring he owed it to them, Naruto walked back to his apartment building and went to the unit one over. He knocked on the door, which was all but ripped open from the other side. "YOU!" shouted an enraged woman before he was pulled into a smothering embrace. "WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG, DATTEBANE! I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR HOURS!"
"I missed you too, Mom," Naruto said, returning the hug. "Sorry, had to get in my training for the day. Even had a couple friends from the Academy join me. Then because I'm a good boy who learned his manners from his beautiful mother, I treated them to dinner. I just got back now."
"You know, you'd think I wouldn't fall for that because it is so shallow, but I still do, dattebane!" Kushina said, hugging Naruto even harder for a second before letting him go. He took a moment to take in her new appearance. Her trademark long tresses were now a bright blue, and her face had been subtly altered. But he could still recognize Uzumaki Kushina if he looked hard enough, though her disguise would probably pass a casual inspection. The moment she opened her mouth would remove all doubt.
"Nice to see you, son. Seems we're neighbors," came Minato's voice. Naruto looked the man over. Like Kushina, his hair color had been changed, in his case to black. His facial features had been modified as well. Just different enough to register as a different person to the suspicious mind.
"Yep. Please, for the love of the Sage and all his clan, soundproof your bedroom. I don't need to hear you guys making me a big brother through the wall," Naruto said with a mildly nauseous expression.
"Hehehehe… knew we forgot something. Minato, get right on that, dattebane," Kushina ordered.
Naruto chatted with his mother and his father after he'd finished his little chore for an hour or so. He learned that they were to act as undercover ANBU to protect the 'asset' that Naruto represented. In other words, so long as he was in Konoha, he'd have at least one of his parents shadowing him. Ah, well, he had nothing to hide. He bid them both goodbye and returned to his own apartment to bathe, meditate, and finally go to sleep.
Thursday dawned cloudy, with the scent of rain in the air. Naruto had his breakfast, made his animal Clones and Library Clone, and walked calmly to the Academy. He waited for Iruka, took his seat, and was patient until the moment Hinata took his hand as she sat down besides him. "Miss me?" she asked playfully.
"Always," Naruto replied instantly. "I like us together more than I like us apart."
Hinata blushed prettily. "Well, we can't ALWAYS be together. We'll be assigned to separate teams, go on separate missions. Not too long from now, we might need to schedule time to be together when we both happen to be in the village."
"Until we get married that beautiful winter day you'll turn 15. Then we can request to be assigned to the same missions together to the Hokage," Naruto pointed out.
Hinata beamed at the thought of their wedding. But she wanted to move to another topic. "Was I seeing things or did Sakura stalk after you and Sasuke yesterday?"
"Yeah. I told them my and Kakashi's plan to get assigned to Team 7 and we all agreed to act as if we were already a team. I might have fixed Sakura's obsession with being thin and Sasuke is doing well with Tree Walking and the Yin-Yang meditation. It's a shame you have training with your clan and can't join us except on weekends," Naruto explained.
Hinata patted Naruto's shoulder. "They need it more, if they're going to be on the same team as you. Even just the weekends with you could put me ahead of even my cousin Neji in just a few short months." A darkness passed over those lavender eyes.
"What's wrong, Hinata-chan?" Naruto asked in concern.
"He's a fatalist. I mean that literally. He's obsessed with Fate, thinks our whole lives are predetermined at birth and we're just helpless pawns in a game of the gods. And he hates the Main House."
Naruto dug into the history of the village his Library Clone had been absorbing. "The Kumo Incident? When you almost got kidnapped? Why would that make him hate the Main House?"
"Kumo demanded my father's body in reparation for the murder of the ambassador who almost kidnapped me. We sent the body of Hizashi, Father's twin and Neji's father, instead," Hinata said bleakly.
Naruto pulled his girlfriend into a warm hug. "You were 3 years old. You can't blame yourself."
"I don't. Not really. But because Father was born a few minutes earlier, Hizashi-ojisan was doomed. I can almost understand Neji's obsession," Hinata breathed into Naruto's shoulder.
"I'll fix it," Naruto promised.
"How?"
"Still working on it. But I'll definitely fix it!"
Hinata smiled and kissed Naruto's cheek affectionately. "I'm so lucky you found me having lunch alone under that tree."
Naruto went through the first two periods with an irrepressible grin.
Naruto, Hinata, the other 5 Clan Heirs, and Sakura all came to sit at the same table. Ino felt the need to comment on the size and contents of Sakura's bento. "My, my, Forehead. Eat like that every day and your whole body will be big as that billboard above your eyebrows," Ino sneered.
"There's a whole hell of a lot between obese and stick-thin. I want to be a kunoichi, I'll need fuel to build a kunoichi's body. Stay a weak, slim damsel if you want to constantly need rescuing from your future teammates. I'm aiming to kick Tsunade of the Sannin's ass someday," Sakura said as she ate her extra-large bento filled with fattening food.
Ino looked blown away. Then she narrowed her eyes. "You heard something. Did Sasuke-kun say something about liking bigger girls? Tell me, damn you!"
Sakura rolled her eyes. "He said nothing. I just had it pointed out to me that he's more likely to care about power level than complexion or hair length. He'd go for an S-rank uggo over a D-rank beauty queen. So I better get my ass to S-rank by the time he's old enough to start seriously looking for the mother of his children."
Ino looked conflicted before laughing it off. "Whatever, Forehead. Like you could ever be S-rank. Get chubby if you want, I'll keep my beautiful girlish figure."
Naruto kept his mouth shut when he realized all the things he wanted to say were rude or insulting. He saw the other boys rolling their eyes at Ino's statement. Chouji even asked "Who cooked that for you, Sakura? Seems delicious."
"I just threw it together from leftovers in the fridge. I always cook my own lunches, I just went for a bigger size today," the pinkette replied.
They got through the rest of the day, then Naruto gathered Sakura and Sasuke after waving Hinata goodbye and led them to Training Ground 7. They got there to find Kakashi reading against a tree while a man with a garish bowl haircut in a green spandex unisuit was energetically talking to him. "COME, KAKASHI! TODAY IS YOUR LAST DAY OFF! WHAT BETTER WAY TO SPEND IT THAN SPARRING WITH ME?"
Sasuke looked to Naruto with a hint of desperation. "Tell me your Jonin friend is the quiet one."
"Yeah, that's Kakashi. Theoretically, our future sensei if we get assigned to Team 7 like we're trying. That's his 'eternal rival' Might Gai. They've been in 'competition' since they were our age. As you can see, Gai takes it a lot more seriously than Kakashi does," Naruto laid out for his two classmates.
"His eyebrows…" Sakura breathed in horror.
"Oh, he's one of the good ones, don't get me wrong. It's just his coping mechanism for life as a shinobi is to, quote, 'bask in the springtime of youth'. What'd'ya say we go rescue Kakashi?" So saying, Naruto walked right up to the two Jonin. "Afternoon, Kakashi. Are we late?"
Gai turned in a flash to regard Naruto and his two other classmates. Then a truly manic light lit up his eyes. "KAKASHI, YOU'VE BEEN HOLDING OUT ON ME! YOU HAVE A TEAM OF YOUR OWN? I THOUGHT TEAM ASSIGNMENTS WEREN'T UNTIL APRIL!"
"They're not my team, Gai. I train with the blond and he happens to bring friends from time to time. Today he happened to bring two. Yo, Hatake Kakashi," Kakashi waved.
"How do you do?" Sakura bowed nervously.
"Nice to meet you," Sasuke said dully, only caring because this man could be one of his tickets to power enough to crush Itachi.
"STILL, EVEN IF THEY'RE NOT AN OFFICIAL TEAM, THEY ARE THREE STUDENTS YOU ARE MENTORING! WE SHOULD HAVE A TEAM SPAR!" Gai shouted at the lower of his two volumes: loud and louder.
"So, as I understand it, Naruto and I will go training on our own while his Shadow Clones teach you, am I right?" Kakashi asked, utterly ignoring Gai at this point.
"GRR, CURSE YOU AND YOUR HIP, COOL ATTITUDE KAKASHI! I SHALL GATHER MY TEAM WITHIN THE HOUR!" With that, he dashed at just this side of supersonic speeds out of the Training Ground back towards the village.
Kakashi looked after the dust trail Gai left. "Hmm, did he say something?"
"Do you have a hearing disorder?" Sasuke asked incredulously. "How could you not hear that?"
"Oh I heard it alright, young Uchiha. Listening is another matter entirely," Kakashi waved off.
"He said he's going to gather his team so we could have a team spar," Naruto repeated. "Which means Sakura and Sasuke are fucked sideways, pardon my language. Genin that have been trained by Gai for six months? Any one of them could take both of you at once and kick your asses… unless it's a 3 vs. 3 situation instead of 1-on-1. Then I could take them on while keeping you guys safe."
"Why are you so convinced we'd be unable to help?" Sakura demanded. "And I know you're, like, way stronger than us but that doesn't make us useless!"
"To put it bluntly, Pinky, Naruto is stronger than the Fourth Hokage was when he died. And I'm fully qualified to make that statement. I've fought Minato-sensei, and I've fought Naruto. I'd rather fight Minato-sensei again," Kakashi spelled out. "I'm sure your test scores at the Academy are very impressive but in terms of sheer lethality, you're only a step or two below the Uchiha kid. You two would be dead weight in a fight against Gai's team."
"I suppose I should be flattered that you think so highly of me in a fight," Naruto said scratching the back of his head.
Sasuke had focused on another detail entirely. "You were trained by Fourth-sama?"
"Yep. Kept training with him even once I was Jonin and he was Hokage. And I repeat, I'd rather face him in a field full of Flying Thunder God kunai than have a serious fight with Naruto," Kakashi answered.
Sakura's eyebrow was twitching. "If Naruto is already S-class or even beyond, why the hell is he wasting his time at the Academy? He should be out in the field!"
"I'd hardly say I'm wasting time. I'm learning stuff I didn't learn in the Order. More importantly, I'm making friends," Naruto told his female companion. "Most importantly, I get to spend seven and a half hours with Hinata-chan," he finished with a dreamy expression.
Sakura repressed her jealousy and tried to feel happy for her two friends. "You really are smitten, aren't you?"
"Already got Hiashi-sama's ok to marry her. We're not officially engaged because I haven't found the right ring yet," Naruto said without any sign he was joking.
While Sakura gaped at that, Sasuke grit his teeth. "How did you get stronger than a Hokage by the time you were 12?" he demanded of Naruto.
"We've been over this, Sasuke. I had good teachers in the Order. I use Shadow Clones to exponentially increase my learning curve. And I worked my ass off, don't doubt that." Naruto sighed. "You think I'm bad though? Kakashi here is the youngest in history to graduate from the Academy. Tender age of 5. Chunin on his first Exam. Even more impressive record than your brother, believe it or not."
Kakashi scratched his head. "Now, now, just because I was a prodigy doesn't mean I'm still anything special."
"You're stronger than Dad too, you know, Kakashi. There's a reason you're on the betting pools to be elected Fifth Hokage," Naruto pointed out. "And we've rather gotten tangled up. The original point was that Gai is gathering his team to fight the three of us. What do we do?"
"Your friends take it as a lesson in what they might be capable of in a few months of hard training before you wipe the floor with whoever's left if it's a 1-on-1. If it's a team battle, then Broody and Pinky act as gratuitous support while you have fun playing with the other team," Kakashi laid out boredly. He took out his Icha Icha again. "Prepare however you want."
"Might as well get some meditation in," Naruto shrugged as he got down in the lotus position. "Sasuke, Sakura, you should practice your Tree Walking while we wait. I'll top you guys off before the fight."
Before an hour had passed, just like he promised, Gai returned to the Training Ground with his team trailing behind him. Naruto looked them over with his eyes that saw more than most. The amount of negative energy in the Hyuuga male bordered on the same levels as Mizuki, that was something to watch. The kunoichi was unremarkable except for the amount of storage seals she had on her person. Did she make them herself or just buy them pre-made? And the last boy… well, if Naruto didn't know better, he'd say Might Gai had paid Orochimaru to make him a clone. They were dressed identically, had identical hair and haircuts, the only difference was a slightly different eye shape.
"Oh, gods, there's two of them," Sakura breathed in horror.
"I'm sure he's a nice guy, once you get past his fashion sense… or lack thereof," Naruto supplied.
Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "They're strong. No wasted movements."
"Yeah, noticed that too. To be expected with the village's Taijutsu master as their sensei," Naruto concurred. "From what I can tell, both the Hyuuga and his lookalike are high-Chunin verging on Jonin level with Taijutsu. The kunoichi is probably their long-range specialist, throws lots of pointy things to help distract the enemy so one of them can swoop in."
"Nothing the three of you can't handle. Don't forget, kids, with Naruto you don't just get one guy, you get a whole army," Kakashi reminded them from where he was reading against a tree.
"KAKASHI, MY ETERNAL RIVAL! AS PROMISED, MY TEAM! LET THEM FACE YOUR STUDENTS TOGETHER IN GLORIOUS UNIFIED COMBAT!" Gai proclaimed to the heavens.
"3-on-3. We've already won," Naruto grinned, standing up from his meditative pose.
"If you say so, Naruto, I'll trust you," Sakura said, looking more than a tad intimidated by the actual Genin team.
"Hnn," Sasuke grunted in his own agreement.
Naruto led Sakura and Sasuke to stand in front of Gai's team, Kakashi shadowing them. "Might we be introduced to each other before the butt-whupping commences?" Naruto asked.
"OF COURSE! TEAM GAI, INTRODUCE YOURSELVES!" Gai prompted.
"Tenten. I'm the sane one," the girl with panda-buns in her hair waved.
"Hyuuga Neji," the one full of negativity stated. Naruto instantly connected the dots between this guy and Hinata's cousin as the same man.
"Rock Lee! Might I have your name, beautiful lady?" Gai's clone asked of Sakura.
Sakura was at a loss and fell back on manners. "Uh, Haruno Sakura."
Rock Lee's cheeks got flushed. "Sakura. Love."
"EH?! No way, dude! Not in a million years!" Sakura screeched.
"I would wait for two million!" Lee proclaimed. He began to blow kisses at Sakura, which curiously took the form of actual hearts floating her way. She twisted and jerked out of the way of all of them like being hit would spell her death. Naruto tried very hard not to laugh, and Sasuke got a bit of a sadistic grin at seeing one of his fangirls getting their own taste of unwanted affection. Sakura dodged the last one with an impressive back-bend straight out of an action movie before Lee finally stopped.
"We got a bit… side-tracked there. I'm Uzumaki Naruto. Nice to meet you all," Naruto bowed.
"Uchiha Sasuke," the avenger bit out like Gai's team wasn't worth his time.
"Now, I believe we're all here for a team spar," Kakashi said, putting away his book. He reached into his pouch for a kunai. "I'm going to throw this in the air. When it hits the ground, the fight begins. Ready… now!" Kakashi tossed the kunai high before vanishing to the tree line along with Gai. All six combatants got into ready positions.
The moment the kunai touched the ground, six hands reached out of the earth to grab Team Gai's legs. With cries of surprise, all three Genin were pulled into the ground up to their necks, immobilizing them completely. Naruto grinned down at them. "We'll accept your surrender now, if you don't want the formality of us holding kunai to your necks to make it official."
"What the fuck?" Tenten shouted, obviously struggling and not making any headway.
"Earth Release: Headhunter Jutsu," Naruto explained. "Nowhere did it say we weren't allowed to prepare the battlefield how we wanted. My Shadow Clones are spaced all around this field, underground. I simply had three get in position to grab you guys and waited until the fight officially started. That's the 'ninja' thing to do, isn't it? The fight should be won before the first blow is even thrown?"
Neji activated his Byakugan, and promptly dropped his jaw when he saw Naruto's chakra stores. He deactivated his Doujutsu and hung his head. "We face a superior opponent. This was our Fate from the beginning."
"No! I think I can get out. First Gate of Opening: Op-" Rock Lee began to state before Naruto slapped his palm to the Genin's forehead. In an instant, the Taijutsu-only combatant couldn't feel a drop of his chakra.
"No need to resort to the Inner Gates for a simple afternoon spar, Lee-san," Naruto said chidingly.
"What… what did you do to me?" Rock Lee asked through his sudden exhaustion.
"Chakra Limiter Seal. I cranked it down until you were barely above the baseline for vital functions. Don't worry, it's temporary. You'll be good as new in an hour or so," Naruto explained.
Tenten perked up. "Wait a minute… seals… Uzumaki… You're from the actual Uzumaki Clan?"
"On my mother's side, yes. Dad's genes won out for hair and eye color, but I still got the knack for Fuinjutsu in my blood," Naruto grinned.
"Oh by the Sage, this is perfect! Do you have any idea how hard it is to self-study Fuinjutsu in this village? All the masters are too busy to take apprenticeships and the literature available is pathetic! If you'd be willing to do another Konoha-nin a solid, I'd really appreciate if you could tutor me!" Tenten said with lights in her eyes.
"I'd be happy to help, Tenten-san. I practice for 4 hours after the Academy until dinner, and from 9-5 on weekends, most often in this specific Training Ground. Show up whenever you're free and I'll try to teach you all I know… though that could take years," he cautioned her.
"I don't care, I'll take whatever I can get," the sealing enthusiast promised.
Neji looked up. "Could you free us? You've clearly won and dirt is getting places I'd rather it didn't."
"Sure." Naruto stomped his foot, and the three Genin rose from the ground like gravity had reversed itself. Tenten still looked starstruck, Neji sullen, and Rock Lee had trouble keeping his eyes open with the seal Naruto put on him.
Kakashi and Gai walked over. "Well, well. Trapping the battleground. I should have expected such trickery from one trained by Kakashi," Gai said almost to himself, for once not shouting.
"We're ninja, Gai, not samurai. 'Tricky' is in the job description," Kakashi countered. "Now why don't you let your poor Genin home to lick their wounds while my three Academy students and I get back to our real training?"
Gai gave a twinkly smile. "VERY WELL! BUT THIS WON'T BE FORGOTTEN, MY HIP, COOL RIVAL! VICTORY WAS YOURS THIS DAY, BUT NEXT TIME TEAM GAI SHALL PROVE THE WINNER!"
Rock Lee turned to Naruto. "I foolishly believed the Uchiha was the real threat. I didn't stop to see the clear power you exuded. But I'll not make that mistake again! From this day onward, I declare you, Uzumaki Naruto, my Eternal Rival!"
Naruto shrugged with a smile. "Hope you catch up with me one day, man. But don't blame me if I humble you every chance you try before you're ready."
"It's a promise between men!" Rock Lee declared.
"OH, LEE! GETTING YOUR OWN ETERNAL RIVAL! I'M SO PROUD!" Gai shouted.
"OH, GAI-SENSEI!" Lee shouted back.
"Oh, shit, it's coming. Avert your eyes!" Tenten warned as she and Neji covered their own eyes.
"LEE!"
"GAI-SENSEI!"
Uncomprehending, the future Team 7 watched as Gai and Lee embraced in a manly hug of manliness, manly tears falling down their cheeks, as a sunset on the beach glowed behind them despite it not being even 5:00. A wave from the far-away ocean crashed behind them as their embrace lasted at least 30 seconds.
Sakura screamed. "Oh, my eyes! My eyes!"
Sasuke couldn't process the sheer amount of manliness (or ridiculousness, depending how you saw it) and fainted.
Naruto just cocked his head. "A Reality Marble? Here? I must study this phenomenon!"
The hug finally ended, the reality-warping power of the manliness overload fading away like it had never been.
"NOW, MY STUDENTS, WE MUST AWAY!" And so Gai led his team out of the Training Ground.
Kakashi looked up from his book. "They did the hug, didn't they?"
"I want to scrub my optic nerves with bleach!" Sakura howled dramatically.
Sasuke was still out for the count.
Naruto shook his head. "What's with you guys. That was a touching, sweet moment between father and son-figures."
Kakashi narrowed his eyes. "Minato-sensei was immune to it as well. Seems he passed it down to you."
Naruto rolled his eyes and summoned smelling salts to wake Sasuke. Once the Uchiha was fully awake and Sakura had processed (or repressed) the trauma of 'The Hug', Naruto summoned a bevy of Shadow Clones. "Now, I think it's time we did what we came here to do. Kakashi and I will spar, my Shadow Clones will train, and you two will do what your teachers tell you. We all agreed?" Naruto asked.
"Sure," Kakashi said, putting his book away.
"Hnn," Sasuke grunted and wordlessly followed his personal 'Naruto' towards a tree.
"The journey to S-rank begins with D-rank exercises," Sakura affirmed to herself before following her own 'Naruto'.
Kakashi eyed the two. "You really think we can whip these two into decent shape by graduation?"
"We'll certainly try our best," Naruto grinned.