Emily beat Briar home by ten minutes.
"How was your night?" she asked.
"Good," Briar answered. "We talked things out. It's all good."
"Are you sure you want to marry him?" Emily asked.
"Yes, Em, I want to marry him," Briar sighed roughly. "Stop asking me that."
"Okay."
Emily didn't tell her that Paul had touched her inappropriately. She didn't want to cause friction, and she worried that her sister would take Paul's side or claim Emily was trying to break them up intentionally, so...she kept quiet. Briar started talking about the plan for the day, which included going bowling. It was their favorite activity that they used to do together all the time.
"I feel like we're checking off things on a bucket list or something," Emily laughed after Briar was done talking.
"Why would you say that?" Briar asked.
"I don't know...it just seems our week has been jam packed with all these activities. Feels like you're thinking you're never going to see me again," Emily joked.
"Don't be ridiculous," Briar chastised. "I just know how hard you work for that witch and really want you to have fun and relax on your time off. I don't get to see you often, you know."
"I know. That's the tenth time you've mentioned it since I got here," Emily pointed out. "And Miranda is not a witch. She's just...misunderstood."
"Says you," Briar snorted. "From what you've told me, I envision her with a pointy nose and a broomstick tucked in the corner of her office."
"If you got to know her..."
"Do you actually really know her?" Briar challenged. Emily opened and closed her mouth. No, she didn't. Not really. The woman kept things close to her chest, but Emily always knew when she was having a bad day versus a good day. Wasn't that something?
"So I'm not friends with my boss. Who is?" Emily countered back, trying to deflect.
"I'll take that as a no."
"Bri..."
"Have I mentioned how glad I am that you let your hair go back to natural brown? That fire engine red was ridiculous," Briar said, changing the subject.
"It was not fire engine red!"
"Close enough," Briar dismissed.
"At least I didn't pierce my eyebrow," Emily shot back.
"I took it out!"
"Yea, after it got infected."
"Okay, so we both made some stupid choices in life. Let's move on, shall we?"
"Fine," Emily sighed. Her sister was good a throwing out topics and then deciding she was done with them seconds later. It was frustrating at times.
"I am going to kick your ass at bowling today!" Briar said in a singsong voice as she went down the hall.
"You wish!" Emily called after her. She kept thinking about Lee, though, and how she was going to see him again that night. She didn't tell Briar, and she felt bad for not telling her. She just didn't want her sister thinking there was more going on between them when there wasn't.
...
Lee spent his day with the boys. He avoided Barney one on one as much as possible. He didn't want to admit he was having Emily come over again tonight. He didn't want to hear it. He hadn't answered Lacy's texts because he didn't know what to say to her, and if he was going to say anything, it would be in person and not over text. He knew he'd have to say something and soon, but he put it off for now. He still didn't even know if Emily was interested in him like that. He and Lacy weren't exclusive yet anyway.
"Is there a reason you keep looking at the clock?" Tool asked on the fifth time Lee looked at it.
"No," Lee shook his head.
"Does it have something to do with a certain, fine young woman?" Tool teased.
"Not at all."
"You're a terrible liar, you know that?"
"I've been told."
"There's nothing wrong with being smitten," Tool went on. "It's a great feeling."
"I'm not smitten," Lee tried.
"No, you're right," Tool said, looking him up and down casually. "You've been hit over the head with a bag full of hearts. You're so far gone that the word 'smitten' is a dot to you."
"What's your point?" Lee asked impatiently.
"Seize the day, my friend," Tool answered, patting his shoulder. "Life is way too damn short to not do what we want to do."
He walked away, leaving Lee to ponder on these words.
...
"You suck," Emily was laughing as she and Briar returned to her apartment after bowling.
"How does me winning make me suck?" Briar inquired, opening the door.
"It just does," Emily countered.
"Someone's a sore loser," Briar laughed, wrapping her arm around Emily's neck and tousling her hair. Emily fought her off.
"Do you remember the time Dad got nothing but strikes?" she asked, fixing her hair from Briar's assault.
"We swore he had a way of controlling the ball with his eyes," Briar laughed. "I remember."
"Mum said it was because she gave him a lucky kiss," Emily added. Her heart ached, thinking about her mother. She thought that with so much time having passed that it would be easier, but it wasn't. She could still hear her mother's laughter some times when she least expected it. Then there were times she tried so hard to remember it only to have it not surface.
"I think she was right," Briar said softly. There was a quiet moment between them until she cleared her throat. "So, dinner. What do you want to do?"
"I don't care," Emily answered.
"Fish sticks it is," Briar said.
"Okay, maybe I care a little," Emily stated.
"I thought so. All right. Let's try out this little place I went to," Briar suggested. "It's great music, great people...I think you'll enjoy it."
"Sure."
Emily hoped they wouldn't be out too late. She wanted to get to Lee's before it was midnight. She didn't say anything as she got ready. After all, her sister was the reason she was here.
...
Lee opened the door at nine and saw Emily standing there.
"Hey," he said, moving to let her in.
"Sorry I'm later," she apologized. "Briar took me out and then got chatty with absolutely everyone in the place."
"It's all good," he promised.
"Then she abandons me for Paul. Again. So she's not home."
"Okay."
"Since I ate elsewhere, you're off the hook for the 21 dollar dinner," she told him.
"Rain check then," he said with a smile.
"If you insist."
"I do," he said, and she felt flushed inside suddenly.
"So, what shenanigans does McLane get up to now?" she asked, changing the subject and heading to the couch.
"Interesting ones," Lee answered with a smile. He was still impressed that she enjoyed the series. She got settled on one end of the couch, and he sat on the other. He caught himself watching her more than the movie, and he loved the way she laughed or bit her nail when she was anxious. He memorized her because he knew she was leaving soon, and he didn't want to forget what she looked like. It was the reason he felt so conflicted about what he wanted to do. It would involve long distance or him moving. He didn't know if that was in the cards for him. He didn't know if she would want that.
It was after one in the morning by the time they finished both movies. Emily was stretched out on the couch, feet touching his legs. He looked at her to find her already looking at him.
"Well, now what do we do?" she asked, and he felt a dropping sensation in his stomach.
"I don't know," he replied. He thought of suggesting Halo, but he didn't want to change the mood that was happening here. He wasn't sure how else to get her to stay, though.
"I guess I should go home," she said. "Since it's late and all."
She moved to get up, and Lee ached inside knowing this was his last chance to do something before she went back home. She didn't move as they stood apart from each other. Looking at her, he made up his mind. He was going to do it.
"Thank you," she said, "for this. All of this. I didn't think I'd find someone like you here."
"Someone like me?" he asked, moving in slowly. She grew slightly flustered.
"Not in a bad way," she said. "I meant someone I could talk to honestly about things. Someone who actually cared."
"I'm sure your sister cares," he reasoned, going closer to her still.
"She does," Emily agreed, "I just don't like telling her everything. She has her own stuff, you know? I just...I..." She trailed off as he stopped very close to her. She'd had a prelude to a kiss before, but it was never this intense. It was like he was intentionally building it up.
"You what?" he asked, looking at her.
"I don't even know," she replied with a nervous laugh. "I'm just rambling now. I...I do that sometimes."
"I'm okay with that," he promised. "I'm okay with you as you are."
"No guy has ever said that to me before," she whispered, breathing hard as he reached to touch her jaw softly.
"First time for everything," he murmured, echoing her own words from before.
"Yes, I suppose so," she nodded. She wasn't backing away; that was a good sign. He hovered, getting ready to kiss her, but in the end, it was her that moved into him and kissed him softly. He was surprised but not enough to affect his kiss back to her. It was everything he'd imagined and then some. After thirty seconds, she pulled back, and he looked at her, feeling overwhelmed.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't have...I'm sorry."
"Don't be," he said quickly.
"You're seeing someone," she went on. "And we're just friends. I should not have done that. I take it back."
"I don't want you to take it back," he said. "I started it, remember?"
"I'm sorry," she said again, moving to the door. He moved after her and caught her arm to spin her back towards him, taking her face with his hand and kissing her again. She made a noise in her throat as he pressed her against the door, and she reached to grip his shoulders. He took his other hand and ran his fingers down her neck before he moved to rest it on her waist. After a few minutes, she stopped and pulled away again.
"I can't," she said.
"Why not?" he asked.
"Because I'm leaving in less than 48 hours. Because I don't do long distance. Because you're seeing someone else!" she said, her voice getting higher as she went on.
"It was two dates and a coffee," he insisted. "Barely nothing. We're not official. I can't be when all I think about is you, and I'm pretty sure she went on another date with someone else." It wasn't a total lie. He'd seen her check her phone at coffee and get all flushed in the cheeks. Usually that happened if something sensual had been said.
"This is a very bad idea," she went on.
"Or it could be the best idea you've ever had," he said. She looked at him, and he could see it in there, the desire to be with him. He dared to kiss her again, and she didn't pull away. Eventually, she wrapped her arms around him and held him close. Lee moved to cradle the back of her head as he deepened the kiss, and she let him. She tasted of mints, which he knew he didn't have, so she'd had one before getting there. Didn't that say something? Or maybe he was reading it all wrong. He didn't know.
Out of instinct, he lifted her up into his arms and moved back to the couch, sitting down with her on his lap. Kissing her was an experience like none other. The way she gripped him and moved her hands over him made him lose all sense of time and reality almost. He wasn't about to rush anything. He was content with just having this moment with her. Listening to her as they kissed told him he wasn't the only one feeling this way.
Then, once more, she stopped.
"I...I can't..."
"Em," he said. She pressed her lips together and shook her head.
"I can't do this," she whispered. "I'm so sorry." She disentangled herself from him and stood up again, wrapping one arm around herself while she ran her other hand through her hair.
"Tell me what's stopping you," he urged, standing as well.
"So many things," she said, "but mostly...I...I'm just not able to be in a relationship right now. It won't work. I'm sorry."
"Emily," he tried, but she stopped him.
"We're better as friends," she insisted. "I really want you to be okay with that because I don't want to lose you entirely."
Lee felt frustrated. He wanted to be more than friends, and he knew she felt the same way. No one could fake their reactions like that.
"I'm not tied down here. I can be closer to you..."
"No," she shook her head.
"Is it because of what I do?" he asked. "You're scared I'll die out there?"
"I just can't do this right now," she whispered. "I don't want to hurt you. I'm sorry, Lee. I shouldn't have come here. I shouldn't have kissed you. I'm so sorry. I really am just a tease."
"No," he said, shaking his head hard. "You're not. I think you're just scared to see where this goes."
"If it didn't work, I'd not only hurt you but I'd lose you, and I don't want that," she said again. "I can't lose you."
"But what if it did work," he insisted.
"I..." she started, but shouting from Briar's apartment made her stop. They both turned towards the sound, surprised that Briar was even home.
"STOP IT!" Briar was screaming.
"YOU'RE BEING INSENSITIVE!" Paul was yelling back.
"GET OUT!"
"IT'S NOT ALWAYS ABOUT YOU, BRIAR!"
"GET. OUT!"
Emily was out the door in an instant with Lee on her heels. She opened Briar's door to find Paul and Briar going at each other once again. Paul had Briar in his grip, and Lee was there in an instant pulling him off. Briar was crying now, and Lee hustled Paul to the door.
"Don't call me!" Paul yelled at her once Lee let him go. "I need some space!"
"Fine!" she yelled back.
"What the hell happened?" Emily demanded, taking her sister into her arms. Lee knew their own conversation was over. He hated how it had ended. There was no resolution, not one he wanted anyway.
"We had another fight," Briar answered. "He's a jerk."
"Are you...?" Emily started.
"We're not broken up," Briar cut her off. "It's a fight, Em. Fights happen." She pushed away and went down to the bathroom, still sniffling and wiping tears from her eyes. Emily stood there looking lost.
"I'll go," Lee said, not knowing what else to say. Emily followed him out into the hall, and he stopped to look at her.
"Please don't stop being my friend," she begged. "Because I really need you in my life."
A part of him wanted to give her the ultimatum, to try this relationship or to walk away, but he didn't want to lose her entirely either. If he had to settle for being her friend, then he'd have to be okay with that. There was a chance she could change her mind about being more. He wanted to believe that.
"I won't," he finally said.
"Thank you," she said, relieved.
"I'll see you later," he said.
"Yes," she replied, lifting her hand a little. She went back inside, and he went into his apartment. He stood there feeling lost and empty. All he could think about was her. He could still feel her in his arms, her lips on his. He was really just him torturing himself. How had he let himself fall so hard for her? Why couldn't he convince her to give this a try? He had no idea what to do about Lacy now either. Maybe he was just destined to be alone.
He really didn't want to think about that.
...
Briar was angry. She'd told Paul about being sick the night before, which was why he wanted to see her tonight again. He'd been upset at first, but after she downplayed it, he reverted back to his "it's about me" self. She had asked him to support her, and he'd blown his stack, claiming she couldn't just expect him to drop his life and be there with her 24/7, which was not what she had asked of him.
"Bri?" Emily asked through the door. "You okay?"
She knew she had to tell Emily. It was a fact. She didn't want to, but she had to. She sighed. She'd deal with Paul later. She got up and opened the door, and Emily hugged her instantly, making Briar feel emotional all over again. Emily was leaving very soon. She had to tell her.
That almost scared her more than the news itself.
...
Emily couldn't get out of Briar what the fight with Paul was about. She gave up after an hour and tried to get some sleep. She stared at her wall, wondering if Lee was sleeping or awake. She felt terrible for everything. She didn't know what had come over her when she kissed him. Sure, he was right there and was probably going to kiss her first, but what if he wasn't actually going to? What if he just didn't have any personal space boundaries? She should have known that he would want more and that she couldn't give it to him. She felt incapable of loving someone. Giving someone her heart was terrifying. It hadn't worked last time, and she had nearly lost herself entirely by the time that relationship was over. Between that and the person who assaulted her, she struggled with trust, and not only with others, but with herself too. She didn't feel she made good choices. She certainly hadn't tonight. She felt like she had tortured Lee and left him out to dry. Even though he tried to tell her she hadn't teased him, she felt she had. She had gotten into the mindset of wanting to be with him and then panicked and changed her mind just as fast. That was so not fair to him. In trying not to hurt him, she'd hurt him anyway.
She really wanted her mother in this moment. Listening to Briar cry wasn't helping; it made her feel helpless. Emily wished she could go back in time and stop herself from kissing Lee. Then at least there would only be on problem to deal with right now.
But you can't take back time, just like you can't stop it or change it. You can only deal with the aftermath, enjoy the moment as it is, or brace yourself for what's coming next, and Emily had no idea what was coming at her like a freight train. No idea at all.