AN: Wow- bullying really works. What can I say, you cuties were so kind you (sweetly) peer pressured me into adding more! Over 11k words no less, I truly did not think I could do it, but enough about me!
Ok, so the timetable is a bit weird, this chap is set 14 months in the future from where we left off, but the beginning starts off with a little flashback sort of deal. The '2 months' marks a full year since they met, then we move forward from there by another two months into the present. I don't know why I did the timing this way...but it is what it is.
Anyways, let's check on our favorite couple. Are they doing well? Are they sailing smooth? Or perhaps there's trouble in paradise...?
Ussy gussy my [redacted] let's take us a looky… (if you don't know that song, correct it immediately)
I see you, you see me
Watch you blowin' the lines
When you're making a scene
Oh, girl, you've got to know
What my head overlooks
The senses will show to my heart
When it's watching for lies
You can't escape my
Private eyes
They're watching you
They see your every move...
You play with words, you play with love
You can twist it around baby that ain't enough
'Cause girl, I'm gonna know
If you're letting me in or letting me go
Don't lie when you're hurting inside
'Cause, you can't escape...
Why you try to put up a front for me?
I'm a spy, but on your side, you see
Slip-on, into any disguise
I'll still know you
Look into my
Private eyes
They're watching you
They see your every move...
(Hall & Oates, Private Eyes)
2 months ago
Kai passes through the hallway of his office on his way to the walk-in storage room in the back.
Once there he stares blankly, trying to remember why he walked all the way back here. He shrugs and grabs a box of face masks, then walks back out, only to spin on his heel halfway down the hall remembering that he'd actually gone there to check the serial number on the last case of rubber gloves. Bonnie keeps taking them every time she comes by. They like using them for...other things, thus the office is running low. After leaving for the second time, he returns to his desk where he promptly trips over his trash can and stumbles into his chair.
Yea, maybe it's best he has a little sit-down, he spaced out the entire walk to the storage room (fifteen yards) and the entire way back.
Thirty yards of absent-mindedness.
Well- that's not entirely right, his mind is hardly 'absent'- it's just taking a little trip. He's caught in a daydream- a fantasy of the past.
He should be cleaning the office between patients; he's got a busy day and there are five more people on his docket- but he can't help himself; he's caught up in reverie. Though, the specific reminiscing he's doing is… odd.
He's not thinking about past vacations, or fun times with friends, or side-splitting jokes he's shared with his sister- he's thinking about all the time he spent stalking his girlfriend.
They've been together for an entire year and it's not just the longest relationship he's ever been in; it's also the best. Kai has already accepted that it will be his last. That doesn't necessarily mean imminent marriage or any sort of larger declaration, it just means that Bonnie is it for him. There's no one else. She's his person, and that's all there is to it.
Whether they take bolder steps in their relationships means little to him, he's already completely committed to this life with her. Bonnie understands him in ways he never dared to dream were possible. He is completely and utterly devoted to her. As bad as it was from the very start, it only grows stronger; it amplifies exponentially every single time they're together. And even when they're not.
There's never a minute she's not on his mind.
There's never a second she strays far from his thoughts.
He's more than consumed by her, more than infatuated. She's inside him now, in his bones, his guts, his DNA. He- Kai Parker- perpetual loner, former pariah, partial playboy, and homicidal maniac- loves his girlfriend more than life itself. The same man who cared for no one but himself (okay, and his equally murderous sister) is in so deep, so damn head over heels he can barely tell up from down most days.
Bonnie has rewired his brain so that it can think of nothing but her, she's reprogrammed his heart so that it only beats for her.
Bo-nnie, Bo-nnie croons the tune inside his chest.
His ticker may sit behind his ribs, but it belongs to her and he'd carve it out and serve it to her if he could.
When he first ran into her, or rather when she first crashed into his orbit, he spent so much time in his head. So many hours and days and weeks and months just fantasizing about her. His imagination just running away with him.
The sappy shit was the worst.
He would get lost in thoughts of her skin against his, her voice in his ear, her hand in his own.
He would torture himself by pretending they were together, alone in their own little world, just them in a shadow. His most recurring vision was of them sharing a world of their very own, where only they could be. Neither could die and they'd have an entire universe to explore; to chase and play with each other. It would be a replica of this reality, just as rich and vibrant in color, and what it lacked in life and livelihood they'd make up for.
He also had possessive fantasies, usually after seeing someone try to challenge her- but often after seeing her and Jeremiah together.
He indulged in thoughts of her and him together in Jeremy's 'office'. Fucking on top of mail piles and knocking shit over while Jerm just stood there and cried. Cucking her boyfriend was one of his more enduring desires, but then he got to actualize it their very first night together. Satisfying his biggest fantasy on night one was just one of many signs they were destined to be.
All his flights of fancy were about the same thing at their core. He was always fantasizing that she was his.
The way she is now.
The door opens and the smell of vanilla and orange blossoms breaks him from his daydreaming.
He loves to remember; he loves to think about all the ways his fantasies have become reality; but that can all wait because, right now, his girl is here.
He turns in his chair then rises to greet her. Bonnie jumps into him and he twirls her around in the air, placing her gingerly down on the ground before they knock anything important over.
"And to what do I owe this lovely surprise?"
She beams back at him, before her lips press into a thin line, "Well, I'd like to tell you that I was just in the neighborhood. That I figured I would drop by and check on my man- but honestly? I had to get out of the office," she admits. "That new manager they hired, Brad? The one I told you about?"
Kai nods to show he remembers, and she continues, "He's a menace. He already made my secretary, Janice- you know the one you say looks like a Weimaraner? Yea he already made her cry; I had to give her the rest of the day off because she was so upset. I confronted him about it, and it was like he didn't even care. I'm trying to give it time, but it's already gone too far. Honestly? I kinda hate him. Plus, he flirts with everything that moves, I'm almost surprised he hasn't gotten dismissed already, fucking HR is useless."
"They haven't?"
"His damn grandad is our biggest donor, typical 'good ol' boys club' bs. Just nepotism in full view! I hate to see it!"
This guy sounds like a schmuck and he's causing his baby grief. Only he is allowed to do that.
"And you, Bonnie? Has he tried anything like that with you?" He turns to her then and his eyes are wide, ready to detect any shift in her mood, anything she might be trying to hide.
Bonnie isn't scared of Kai when he's like this, he never does anything without her permission. At times, his intensity unnerves her, but those times are fewer and further between the longer they're together.
"Ugh, he made some comment under his breath last week, I think he said something about my skirt, but then, by accident, I dumped my scalding coffee in his lap, and he hasn't said anything to me since. I still can't have him messing with the women in my office though, I told him today I won't tolerate any more of it."
She moves to lean on the counter across from him and folds her arms across her chest, "God, I thought this new hire would be a good fit, but he's such a *dick*" She mouths the words because with the door open Dolores is within earshot, and the older woman does not like cursing, something she let Bonnie know after her last lunch date visit.
His next words are measured. He speaks cryptically but carefully so that she understands him, "Would you like me to take care of it for you?"
He'd love nothing more than to ease her stress, if it means snapping a neck, smothering some douchebag in his own office, or choking him out with his own tie then he hardly minds.
"I can slip out of here and be back within the next forty minutes and no one will know. I'll be back before lunch is over. Say the word and it's done."
"I think I'm good on that," she smiles at him and takes his hands in hers.
"Are you sure? I'm serious, Bonnie."
"Oh, I have no doubt you are," she giggles.
"Well, just let me know...I mean it." Kai squeezes her hands and pulls her forward for a kiss that Bonnie pours herself into.
His will alone is enough for her.
All her life she's been the protector, the one who kept others safe. Sacrificing and suffering in silence for the benefit of those closest to her, people she thought cared about her. Being with Kai used to throw her. Dating him came with a learning curve and she had to get used to being doted on and listened to. She wasn't used to having someone in her corner all the time, someone willing to defend her against any and every threat, big or small.
He'd been protecting her from the very beginning. His intensity was so sharp it used to terrify her. No measure was too far for him. There was nothing he wouldn't do for her. He was never afraid or hesitant to go to extremes.
In fact, it was finding out that he'd already killed for her, more specifically that he'd killed Damon, that caused their first fight.
13 months ago
"What was I supposed to do, Bonnie? Let him go? After what he did to you? After what he tried? You can't believe I'd allow that..."
"You were watching, you saw that I handled it, you didn't need to step in, Kai!"
Something about saying it...
"I didn't 'step-in' Bonnie."
Something about hearing that...
"I couldn't let him go after that. What did you think I was watching you for? Shits and giggles? You didn't think maybe I was homicidal in addition to being a stalker, you never once thought that I was deranged? As I hunted you down for months?"
She ignores his remarks.
"—I saw a problem and I corrected it. You're safe and I won't apologize for that."
He keeps using these words, 'safety', 'protection'– it all makes her feel funny.
"A problem? Oh my god...you don't feel any remorse at all, do you?"
"Feel remorse for eliminating the biggest threat to your well-being? No, I can't say that I do."
"Problem! Threat! My God, Kai! Damon was a person! He had a family; people cared about him!"
"Did he, though? Really, Bonnie? Last I checked Demon's family wanted nothing to do with him. His own brother would rather have threesomes all day with your blonde friend and that English guy than even discuss Dayman, so it can't be that family."
"I mean–" she wants to respond but he does make a point, "–still,"
"Still what? You act like I just decided to kill him willy-nilly. Like I didn't think about it for more than a couple of seconds."
In truth, he did make the decision quickly. As soon as he saw Damon's hands around her throat he knew what he would do, he didn't have any choice. His decision was made in the instant Damon decided to touch her, if not for that he couldn't care less what the dreg got up to, but once he pressed himself into her home and hurt her he made it personal.
"You said you killed him because he threw out some flippant insult! That isn't spur of the moment?! That isn't last-minute?! Sounds pretty 'willy-nilly' to me!" She screeches at him.
"That was the final straw! I'd already been looking for him! I already admitted I decided to kill him after how he acted, yea his slick comment was the nail in the coffin, literally, but I researched the guy and everything I found was vile. He was a creep, Bonnie, you weren't the only person he hurt! What about them? What about their justice?"
He's laying it on thick and he knows it, as does Bonnie. Since when has Kai ever cared about anyone else? Since when does he care about 'justice'?
"Justice...Justice?" she scoffs and crosses her arms over her chest, "Is that what killing him in an alley was about? Justice for all his other transgressions? You were protecting everyone else, is that it? Savior Kai protecting all the innocents," she mocks.
He smirks at his girlfriend's antics for how they remind him of his own, "The only one who cared about him was Ellen, Bonnie. You get that, right? Not a single person in the entire world- besides your vapid narcissistic toxic frenemy- even bothered to look for him. His own brother, Sven–"
"Stefan-"
"Right, that's what I said–Steven–even he doesn't care, but you do? Do you not see what's wrong with that? You're torturing yourself over someone whose own flesh and blood don't care?"
"Ugh! Do you not see how that's worse? His own family didn't like him. Don't you, of all people, at least have empathy for that?"
"No, Bonnie, I don't! I can see what you're trying to do but it won't work. My father hated me from the day I was born for no reason, he hated me for nothing. Digimon's family wanted nothing to do with him because he was a menace."
It's not exactly true, Joshua hadn't begun hating him until around mid-adolescence, but unpacking that particular bundle of childhood trauma is best saved for a later date.
"I just...this is too much. Everyone hated him and now he's dead...no one even knows, they can't even mourn," she barely understands her responses- she's certainly included in 'everyone.'
Even before Damon's personality shifted from charming to wicked, she didn't trust him further than she could throw him.
"With good reason! There wouldn't be anyone grieving! He was miserable, awful! The guy was a walking, talking, colostomy bag. You should've seen the charges against him, Bonnie. He was a bad person and that's putting it mildly!"
"Charges?" She knew he was a sleaze, but she didn't know that he had an extensive criminal history.
"Yes! Charges- plural! And not minor stuff, I'm talking violence- assault, breaking, and entering. I could literally go on and on. He was in some bad shit with some bad people. Honestly, it was a matter of time before someone punched his clock and I'm not sorry that it was me."
She bites her lip in thought and he can see there's still protest left in her lungs.
"Oh, God what is it now?"
"I just...you shouldn't have done that, Kai," but her conviction is waning. She's less sure than she was at the start of the conversation.
He just stares at her, "I'm not sure what you want to hear Bonnie. What would you like me to say? What can I do?" This whole thing is exasperating.
"You can't do anything; you've already done enough, and I have to live with it!"
But there's something deeper, he can tell. This is just a frayed string.
So, he pulls it.
"You think… Damon's death...is your fault?"
She doesn't speak, but she does wrap her arms tighter around herself and turns away from him.
"You really believe that? I killed him, but you think it's your fault? Bonnie, baby…" he sighs.
"I don't know why no one ever told you this, but you're not responsible for the actions of others. The blood is on my hands, not yours, okay?"
"But it's because of me that-"
"It's not your fault that anything happened. That piece of shit attacked you. He choked you- he-" Kai stops short feeling his anger rising thinking about the other man pushing his way into her space and manhandling her.
"It is- now he's dead because of me," she cries.
"No, look at me Bonnie, it's not for you to feel guilt over, okay? None of this is on you, none of this is your problem."
This isn't rhetorical, he needs her to understand this isn't her weight to carry. His crimes are his own, he's not bogged down by them- he'll be damned if she is.
"It's mine. I know you love this martyr shit, but this is not your cross to bear. I made a choice, I killed him, and that's for me to live with, not you."
To think she'd been punishing herself and over the life of Damon Salvatore no less.
She didn't doubt for a single second that the world was better without Damon Salvatore in it.
She was upset because killing was wrong... wasn't it? It's always a hard line in the sand, murder is black and white, right? Even when the person killed was cruel? Even when they brought pain and suffering to innocent people?
Bonnie is deeper than she's ever been in the gray area of morality.
She just found out that less than three months ago her boyfriend murdered her (former) best friend's boyfriend. She hated Damon, but that wasn't the point.
Yes, it was true that he had brought nothing but misery to her and everyone he knew, but did that mean he deserved to die? 'Uh...yes, bitch, you wanted to kill Damon, too, the fuck?!' a voice in her mind supplies.
It sounds suspiciously like her cousin Lucy mixed with Issa Rae. Probably because she respects them both (also because they just binged the last season of Insecure together two days ago).
This is too confusing; she had wished death on the older Salvatore more times than she could count but finding out he was really dead...and that Kai had done it in her defense… it shakes her.
When she thought Kai was just prowling and patrolling her it was one thing, knowing he'd been keeping tabs on others in her life, that he'd been...killing for her...
She wants to be more upset about the murder itself, but she isn't and that is what throws her. The real reason she's so agitated. She told Kai that's what it was because that's what she believed. But she digs deeper and deeper for upset, for outrage- for fear and whatever else...and they aren't there.
What she does find in the well of her gut is different.
She dredges up something else entirely...something strange she's never sat with before. She can sense that beneath her initial outrage is gratitude, but beneath that is something that feels hot and cold at the same time. This thing, this new sensation- it turns her stomach as it crawls its way through her.
This feeling festers like rot. It chokes her as it moves up from her belly and gets stuck in her throat.
Her hatred of Damon is ever-present, in the deepest parts of her she can allow herself to admit that she's glad he's dead and she's glad Kai killed him. She's getting choked up and she can't figure out why. It's not about Damon's life, she'd never waste her tears on him. The more she examines her feelings the more clarity she finds but the more confused she is- which just isn't fair.
Kai kills for no other reason than to avenge her, to defend her...he kills to show devotion. She'd never thought herself a deity until he began to worship at her feet.
It's that that throws her.
That power; that awe of his. It intimidates her. Kai is a terror, and he says he's all hers. So he claims.
But she has doubts...she wonders...
What if he's just cruel? What if all the warmth he's shown her 'til now has been a front? What if he just wants to pick off those around her one by one?
Why couldn't he have just killed her assailant in the moment? Then she wouldn't have to doubt his motives- she'd have seen his little safety plan in action.
Wait, is it weird she wanted to watch Damon die in front of her? That she wanted Kai to kill him then and there? She just got done telling him the man had a family but yet she's thinking about what if Kai had killed him up close in vivid detail. She doesn't recognize herself.
Against how hard she's fighting tears slip out and stream down her face.
"You're crying..." he sounds genuinely confused. "Bonnie-" he says, coming closer to console her if she'll accept it, accept him.
"Shut up! I'm not crying because of that! I don't care about Damon!" she shrieks and shoves against his chest.
Kai backs up slightly, "But you just said-" he trails off...
"You're contradicting yourself. First Durmon is someone with a family and people who care about him, now your feelings matter, and you don't care about him at all? I can't keep up. Are you mad that the death was spontaneous? Or that it happened at all? I get that you're upset, but I don't understand what you're saying, Bonnie, please," he points out drawing closer to her again, "I just want to understand. Please talk to me."
Other people's emotions confuse him more often than not, but he's trying. That's got to count for something.
"You don't understand! You can't! I barely understand! I just-" her confusion makes her angry, she pushes against him again, wanting to feel something solid beneath her hands as the ground shakes out beneath her.
"You're a murderer! You're a psycho! You killed my best friend's boyfriend!" She runs through all her stock arguments while she pummels her fists into his chest, and he takes it. "You killed someone and you're not sorry! What's wrong with you?!" She continues to push at him but doesn't pull away.
He'll take it as a win, however small.
"You want a list?" he jokes, he can't help it, seeing her this way does something to him. He knows this is serious, but he just wants to lighten things, he just wants to go back to the calm evening they were having before, just enjoying being with one another, but Bonnie is more incensed than he's ever seen her.
He sobers when his joking apparently makes her angrier, "Alena is hardly your friend Bonnie, let alone best friend. I may be all those things you mention, I may have an exhausting list of ways I'm fucked up, but I've never treated you like you don't matter. I'm not like her; I'd never choose anyone over you. Never."
It's not that he doesn't get it, of course, he does. He murdered someone; someone she knew. Actions have consequences, her anger isn't surprising. He never figured that she would take this well. Of course, he had hoped.
Kai tried his best to keep it from getting out, but honestly? He doesn't like keeping secrets from her. They can't hide from each other. For as hectic as this confrontation is, it's better it came out sooner rather than later. Imagining how this ordeal might have gone had he kept it secret for months or years is more stressful than navigating it in the here and now.
With that in mind, he allows her to continue pressing harder and harder into him. It feels like she's building to something.
Bonnie continues to rain blows on his chest, trying to transfer her emotional turmoil to him physically, words have left her and all she can use is her body to make him understand her frustration. Her hands hit harder and faster, but Kai never pushes her back.
"You, you-" she looks up at him and her face crumbles before she presses herself into his center. What are all these damn feelings? They're coming to her faster than she can blink, and it feels like she's suffocating.
"Shhh, you're okay, you're okay," he tells her over and over. He'll keep saying it as long as she needs to hear it.
Bonnie shakes against him for what feels like hours.
He can tell she's unpacking something important, processing something she needs to. He holds her tighter to let her know it's okay to let it all out, that's what he's here for. Always to help her, always to support her.
Soon, her sobs quiet and her breathing evens out. Snot and tears soak his shirt, but he doesn't mind. He only cares about figuring out what he needs to do to get them over this hurdle, and that's all it is, just a little roadblock. A little barrier on the road of their life ahead, he just needs to know what to do to make it all better.
Her soft muffled voice pipes up to give him a clue.
"-u -ernt- er," she's pressed too tightly against his chest; he can't make out what she's saying.
"What?" He says leaning back enough for her mouth to be untucked.
"You weren't there," comes her timid response. "He was all alone with me and you didn't- you didn't help me, I looked for you and you weren't there." Her lashes are heavy and wet.
There it is. The truth. His baby needed him, and she thought he wasn't there for her.
"Bonnie I-"
"I looked out the window for you and you weren't even watching. It was like you didn't even care," fresh new tears continue to collect in her moss green eyes, and Kai's heart just breaks. "You just like violence, you watched everything he did and you just- you just...left me, you abandoned me..."
He remembers her appearing in the window, he could see tears in her eyes then too. He saw the way her body shook with anxiety and fear, he thought she'd been looking for Jeremy, but she hadn't wanted her boyfriend to come to her aid, nor comfort her afterward- she wanted him.
Once again, he's overwhelmed by this woman who wants him so badly. He's never been desired like this. All his life women threw themselves at him, after his acne-ridden gangly loner days in his teens that is. He never had any trouble pulling women, but no one ever got him. No one ever saw him the way Bonnie does, and it guts him every time he realizes just how perfect they are for one another.
"Bonnie, listen to me, you have no idea how badly I wanted to race up these stairs. You have no idea how I wanted to–" how can he make her understand just how murderous he felt that day?
How overwhelming, how all-consuming his rage had been. How badly he wished he could apparate straight into her apartment and slit her foe's throat while he had her dangling. How badly he wanted to switch their positions, so he was the one strangling Damon and yoking him up like a rag doll. Even now, he begins to seethe thinking about that raven-haired demon hurting the woman tucked safely in his arms.
He doesn't know how to make her understand how tempted he was to break down her door and throw Dickson from her third-story balcony, but he tries anyway, "I didn't know…" fuck- why is this so hard?
He already told her about actually murdering Dayman in an alley, why was he clamming up trying to tell her about merely wanting to kill him?
"I thought if I came up and confronted Damon it would ruin everything, and you're worth more to me than that, I should've-" It's his turn to process, "I should've done it anyway, but I thought..." As corny as the adage is, maybe his first-grade teacher was right about honesty being the best policy.
He takes a breath and tries again, "I honestly thought it would make things worse. I thought if I came up here to you, you might decide the devil you knew was better than the one you didn't. I was worried you'd see two white men out to get you in your own home like you'd think I was in on it with him or something. That we were working together. I didn't know you knew me, Bonnie; I didn't know you could see..."
"Then when you kicked him, I remembered being so proud of you for it, but there were these seconds after where I couldn't see anything, I couldn't tell what was going on and Bonnie I- I've never been scared like that. Ever." His grip is firm on her elbows to show his seriousness.
"When I saw it was over, I wanted to wait for him right outside and kill him then and there, just right outside the front door, but I couldn't focus on him, I just wanted to see you, to know you were okay," he rubs circles into her calmingly.
It eases them both, grounds them.
"I stayed to make sure Jeremy got to you, I didn't just leave, Bonnie. I waited with you until I saw his car coming down the street. I stayed until- until I could feel him with you. I never left you alone…" As he says it, he folds her into his body gently but firmly. He presses her into his frame until he's sure there's no space between them. Maybe touching him like this, being this close to his heart she can feel how desperately he means it, how badly he needs her to understand.
"I don't like violence, Bonnie, I mean I do- but- but not watching him hurt you. That's not what it was about for me, you can't actually believe that, please, that's not what I was doing, it killed me to watch, but I stayed with you, I didn't just watch and leave. I'd never do that to you; I could never do that to you..."
They stay that way for a short while longer. When her breathing evens out and she stops shaking he keeps holding on. Maybe it's finally time for the levity he's been trying for this entire night.
"Plus, I really had been fantasizing about offing him for a while, long before he did that to you...his girl Entrapta too...I can't imagine being around the two of them, I'm surprised you didn't go all me on them ages ago."
She snorts, and he finds it adorable, "Really?" she questions still tight against him, lips back on his chest.
"Mhmm, just seemed like the right thing to do, like taking out the trash," he says as he rests his chin on top of her head.
She burrows closer into his chest and allows his comforting scent to wash over her.
She can't say that he's forgiven or that she's totally accepted this, but it does something to her to know she's got someone willing to do anything to protect her. Someone willing to stalk and hunt her enemies more ruthlessly than he had done with her. That he will mete out justice and exact revenge on those who oppose her.
Her very own judge, jury, and executioner.
2 months ago
"Anyway, Killer what's for lunch today?"
"I am so glad you asked! Today for lunch we have..." He shortly disappears to the kitchenette and retrieves their lunch then returns with four Tupperware containers.
He sets them out and they open them to reveal the beautiful spread he prepared.
One holds two kinds of hummus, which look to be both garlic and red pepper. Another contains assorted fresh-cut veggies. There are tomatoes, cucumbers, carrots, snap peas, and radishes. The last two contain roasted brussel-sprouts and a gorgeous filet of seared salmon with rice, respectively. He also has a loaf of fresh-baked bread, and if her eyes don't deceive her, he also has a pitcher of sangria.
"Tada! Made this while you were getting your beauty sleep." He winks and opens the top.
"Doc... you're on the clock," she says as if scandalized.
"Oh, but it's not for me, it's for you," he holds out a glass for her to take.
Kai shuffles around to find utensils, "Jo said she might swing by later, I was thinking we could all play Dixit again? She said she had a lot of fun last time, maybe you could hit up Nora, Mary Louise, and Luka and invite them too? We could make it a game night."
"Damn- I'm booked already, I've got a thing with Lucy and Vincent tonight. Lucy recommended an exhibit that's finally in town, we are gonna go downtown and check it out then get dinner at Houston's afterward."
Her man childishly pouts and it's cute. This big ol' baby poking out his bottom lip and stomping his foot, "I was hoping to have you all to myself before all our friends came over," he whines.
"Oh, boo-hoo, your nerd night can wait. Pout all you want, that puppy dog face won't work, I feel no guilt." She laughs at his faux petulance.
"Guess you'll just have to make do with this lunch date, for now, sport." Kai still looks put out, so she pats his thigh and pretends to console his crocodile tears.
Soon they're back to their typical banter as he gets the food set up.
Watching him set the scene is...doing something to her, where is the nurse tech and did they accidentally bump the thermostat? Because it feels like the room has increased by at least ten degrees since she got here, and rising...
Kai looks so gleeful as he scoops out hummus and spreads out cucumber slices. He cuts into the bread (that he baked himself) with the same precision he always shows her- the same intensity that used to intimidate her now makes her weak in the knees. As a distraction from how wet her panties are getting, she tells him how much she appreciates his efforts and how excited she is to dig into everything. She doesn't tell him that he's stoking her appetite in an altogether different way.
Good thing too, because after the words leave her lips all earlier disappointment at not getting to spend the evening with her is replaced by his elation for the current moment.
Thinking about all the food they have to share makes him smile, he reaches for the counter and refills her cup with a healthy portion of the Sangria.
While she sips, he fixes her plate and holds a spoon of something that looks delicious and smells even better. Already knows she'll be buzzed on her way back to the office. One cup in and she's feeling so flushed and giddy. Has she always been this much of a lightweight?
"Just wait until you get your lips around this," he says, bringing the spoon towards her lips, other palm cupped underneath to catch any drippings.
It's worse because he doesn't even realize what he said, the double entendre goes totally over her head in his sincere enthusiasm for her to try his food.
Fucking nerd.
God, he's so hot when he's sharing with her, when he really unshields himself and is so open and sincere. She loves seeing all the many facets of him and letting him know it's okay, it's okay to just be. His obliviousness is making her more worked up, the way he watches her so sharply as her lips near the spoon isn't helping. She takes the first actual bite and sees him gulp, barely inches from her face- the raw tension of the moment still utterly lost on him.
She doesn't focus on his face long though, soon the flavors dance over her tongue and she closes her eyes in pleasure. She doesn't mean to add to how charged things already are, but she cannot help the tiny moan that slips past her lips or the way her eyes roll back into her head. It's so delicious. She knows her man can cook, but this is downright sinful.
He looks so smug when her eyes open again, "S'good, ain't it?"
She can't be annoyed by his ego, his arrogance is founded, and deserved, "Oh my god, baby this is amazing!"
"You know what?" She says looking at the food in front of them. They've been chatting and eating (while she's been wet and wanting), most of the food is gone, but Kai is still nibbling.
"What?" He asks around a mouthful of hummus and bread.
"I'm actually in the mood for something else..."
"Oh yeah?" His grin spreads and he puts down his fork, moving the food out of the way and scooting closer to her.
"Yeah," her breath hitches.
"Well, what did you have in mind?" His hands rest on her thighs and he, ever so slightly, fingers the hem of her dress.
"Why don't I show you?"
"Yes, why don't you," he says pushing up her dress even further.
She's had enough. She doesn't mean to bark, but she can't waste time making it flowery, "Get down on your knees."
"Wait," he says, then leaves to the workstation across the hall where he leans over and uses the little water-hose-thingamajig to rinse his mouth out, before jogging back over to her.
"Okay, that's better, now, where were we?"
"You were just getting down on your knees."
"Yes ma'am!" He brings his hand to his forehead and adds a little salute. Kai doesn't waste any time and immediately obliges. He can already feel himself hardening in his pants, it always ignites him when she's bossy and demanding. His little bratty Bonnie.
Kai repositions so that he's at her feet, on his knees in front of her.
"Good boy," she loves his face when she says it. He nuzzles against her thighs and nips at them the longer she makes him wait.
It's hard drawing this out, she wants it as bad as he does, wants to feel his mouth move against her. But she knows anticipation will increase pleasure for the both of them. Kai loves to tease and so does she.
Slowly she shimmies and raises her dress the rest of the way up her legs. She steps closer to Kai and makes him take off her underwear, "Ah, ah, ah," she says when his nimble fingers find her hips, "No hands, use your teeth."
"Slowly," she adds when he rushes.
Once she fully comes into view, he flips his tie over his shoulder and tilts his head back so he's leaning against a cabinet door.
She takes her time squatting over him, not rushing the way she knows he wants her to. One foot propped up high on the counter so that she's fully on display for him, the other holding her weight and anchoring her.
He's got his hands behind his head and his face is the portrait of leisure, "Ahhh, what a view, what a view. I'll tell ya a guy could get used to this, Bon."
So, she stays that way, allowing him to gaze to his heart's content. Eventually, enough time passes that he protests.
"None of that, Malachai, how do you ask?"
"Please, Bonnie, please just let me taste it, please I can't wait," he moans.
Soon she's got her pussy in his face, adjusting her footing while she lowers.
"Fuck, baby, stop teasing me, get your pretty ass down here."
"Sooooo dramatic," she says, "keep that up and I'll leave and go hang out with Dolly."
"You wouldn't dare."
"Try me," she challenges back.
"You're no fun, she'd just talk your ear off, she couldn't do what I can, Bon-bell, you always want me to sto-"
"Shut, up, Kai." She says dropping herself the rest of the way to fully to sit on his face, making sure her weight is well balanced.
His jaw snaps shut instantly, and he gets to the matter at hand.
"It's rude to talk with your mouth full."
Her head is thrown back like his as his tongue pushes her lips apart. Soon she's the one whimpering and whining as his wicked mouth devours her.
For the next half hour, she works hard to muffle her own moans, so they don't get caught by the nosy receptionist right down the hall. It's hard when he keeps alternating between pulling her clit into his mouth and rubbing it with his thumb.
Bonnie has never been one for public sex, the 'thrill of getting caught' means something different when you know the risk of biased consequences. But something about Kai just...brings it out of her. At first, he'd been reluctant to get frisky at the office, but now he starts it just as often as she does. He does prefer to fuck in her office to his, though. They have better privacy there.
The amount of office nooky they've gotten into between their respective workplaces would make, Misty Stone blush.
Present
She's in a bad mood.
It's not her fault though, things had been going wrong for her all day, all week honestly. Two weeks if she keeps it real. More than anything, what she wants is to go home, curl up with some wine, and feel her man's tongue send her off to bliss. But when she arrives, he's nowhere to be found.
It's unusual, Kai never strays far and when he does, he always lets her know exactly where he's going and exactly when he'll be back. Psycho Kai has spoiled her with clear communication and now that she can't find him it makes her a little anxious.
As more time passes, she is less concerned about all the head she's missing out on and more concerned with whether he is okay or not. Kai is always up to something and she worries for him.
He said he wanted to "scare" her obnoxious coworker after she complained about him earlier, but he didn't give her a timetable. He promised nothing drastic and at the time she told him she didn't want specifics, but now she regrets it. This is taking too long.
What if his plan was worse than he let on? What if he gets hurt?
In general, good things in her life don't last, Kai is simultaneously the best and strangest (and creepiest) thing that has ever happened to her and she keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop. Either he'll antagonize the wrong person, or wind up being caught by some fed.
She also worries he'll stray from her.
What if he's not even worried about her workplace jester? What if he's watching someone else?
Jeremy and his cheating fucked her up deeper than she let on. At first, she convinced herself because she knew about his affair it couldn't hurt her as badly, but the amount of time she spends worrying whether Kai will leave her in the dust in favor of someone new lets her know that's far from the truth.
Their relationship is solid, but he's changed so much, she was almost surprised he so enthusiastically went off to 'solve her problem' for her. He's always telling her he'll do anything for her, but they've been threat-free for so long she's forgotten how vicious his bite is.
Sometimes it feels like he's treating her with kid gloves, and she worries he's giving all his intensity to another.
Insecurity isn't age-specific, but she feels so foolish doubting herself. It takes her back to middle school days. When she was always invisible. Always looked over in favor of Elena, whose hip she was perpetually attached to. This continued through high school- Jeremy was one of the first guys to openly show interest in her and even he was connected to her bestie.
To ease her frayed nerves, she plays a song that always reminds her of her beau. Soon the air around her is filled with the alternating sounds of Aaliyah's soulful singing and DMX's rough grunting.
She blasts it and dances around her living room. Maybe she should watch Romeo Must Die while she waits for her man to return.
I know you'd kill for me, you'd die for me
I know you like to rip and run the streets
But I get nervous sometimes, baby, I can't help to think
You might not make it home to eat, I barely sleep
Could you pick up a phone and call me at home
And let me know you ain't in some heat?
And don't go crying, you're grown
You know I'm looking out for you
'Cause you be looking out for me (me, me...)
She sings along to the lyrics and smiles at how well they fit. Yea, she's definitely gonna watch. She leans over her laptop to queue up the film as Spotify continues to crank out the music.
'Fore you go bending the law
If you make this promise to me:
You make it back in one piece
I know you up in it all,
If you make this promise to me:
You make it back in one piece (piece, piece...)
He moseys through the door hours later, whistling a tune and walking arrogantly.
"And where have you been all evening?" she questions from the dark where she's been waiting up for him all night. She'd curled up on the couch after the credits rolled on Aaliyah and Jet Li walking arm in arm.
"Wouldn't you like to know?" comes his devil-may-care reply.
She smiles, but it doesn't reach her eyes, "That is why I asked... Did everything at least go well?"
"But Bonnieeee," he drawls, "I thought you didn't want to know any of the dirty details. Rest assured I've taken care of it and he won't be bothering you anymore."
"But did you..."
"No, I didn't kill him. You told me you didn't want me to, I don't know why," he mutters, "but I respect your wishes, so I didn't. He's just a little...indisposed, you might say."
He can tell something is wrong. Bonnie's cat-like eyes zero in on him and he feels hot under the collar, "Is... everything alright?" he asks rummaging around the fridge for last night's leftovers.
She perches on the seat folding one leg over the other and places her hand gently on her knee, "I don't know, you tell me?"
He knows it's probably bad, but he loves when she gets possessive like this, when she gets this sort of fussy. He plates his food and pops it into the microwave before turning back to her, "Don't tell me you're mad I'm taking care of you? I thought we got over all of this months ago," he responds cutely over the whirr of the machine in the background.
"I promise I wasn't doing anything too bad, I was on my best behavior, Bonsai. No significant mischief, scouts honor," he says holding up three fingers in a mock kid scout salute.
"Why don't I believe you?"
"Oh, your doubt hurts me, Bonster. I find your lack of faith...disturbing." As he says it, he pitches his voice deeper to match the character's delivery of the original line and he thrusts his clawed hand out pretending to choke.
He doesn't miss the way her eyes flash to his hand then widen before her cheeks flush slightly. Something about tonight has got his girl worked up. Far be it from him to waste a spontaneous opportunity.
"Come here."
She wraps her arms around him and they kiss, it grows in intensity until they're practically grinding on each other against the kitchen island.
Bonnie shoves his food off the counter, and it makes a mess on the floor, "Whoopsy, did I do that?" she smiles.
Fuck- he wanted to eat that. (Typically, that is the thought running through his mind when he wants to fool around in the morning, and she turns him down because she's late for work). Kai hates wasting food, he had been looking forward to those leftovers. Breaking a dude's leg and jaw really works up an appetite. He can always make it again, but it's the point. If she wants him to play maid, all she has to do is ask, throwing around perfectly good food is never the answer.
"Watch it, Bonnie," his jaw is clenched, and he looks so stern.
So, she amps it up, "You watch it." Bonnies in rare form- she's not usually like this. It's a challenge and they both know it.
He can't heel to her. The vein in his forehead is beginning to bulge, "I said watch your mouth, Bonnie, don't make me tell you again."
"And I said-" she starts but whatever else she means to say never makes it past her lips. By the time those three syllables leave her mouth, he's already shot across the room towards her. He's so patient walking with her sometimes she forgets how long his strides can be. After all, he's 6'4, it took him milliseconds to get from the other side of the room to boxing her in where she stands.
He can see the shock in her eyes, and it thrills him. Sometimes Bonnie gets bratty and when she's like this he's got to be firm with her. He'd been patient with her up to now- but it's clear she needs him to be stern.
"Bend over."
"What?"
He's already towering over her, caging her like a small animal- the frightened rabbit, to his hungry wolf. But he bends ever closer, snarls in her ear, "You heard me- I told you to bend over." He's shocked that she's shocked, this is clearly what she was after. "Naughty girls get punished, and I can see you need the discipline."
He can also see the goosebumps rising along her skin, can hear her sharp intake of breath, and can practically smell how worked up she is from his commanding tone. He's got her right where he wants her and she's about to be his very good girl.
Brat that she is, she doesn't bend over as he commanded. No, his baby wants him to earn it today, "Make me," and as she says it her eyebrow arches in defiance.
This fucking girl.
As quickly as he crossed the room to her, he's got her gathered in his arms then bent over his knee. With one hand on her back and the other on her waist, he pulls his belt from the loops, "You are really testing my patience today, Bonster. What's gotten into you?"
Soon his belt is free from his waistband, the buckle jostles and it jangles in his right hand while his left rubs her seat. "I'm going to lift your skirt now, okay?"
He drags his fingertips over the sensitive flesh of her upper thigh then back down.
Bonnie nods softly so he continues lifting her skirt slowly over the curve of her ass. When he pinches her now exposed cheeks, she squirms against his lap trying to break free from his hold defiantly, "Kai I-"
"Shhh, you're not getting out of this, sweetheart. I'm in control and I think it's time you learned an important lesson."
Her wriggling dies down. He waits until she stops moving completely and all he can hear are her bated breaths anticipating what is to come, but first thing's first, "Now, I am going to use the belt, if it gets to be too much you know what to say, right?"
"Gemini," she says softly, traces of desire vaguely coloring her tone.
Confirming she knows they're safe word puts him at ease. He knows she likes pain, but he doesn't want her to think he actually wants to hurt her, at least not non-consensually.
"Good girl," he says kissing the top of her head, hand still palming her ass.
After that, all traces of tenderness leave his voice, when she hears it again it's filled with mirth and condescension.
"What did you think was going to happen, Bonnie, huh?" Kai drags the cool leather of his belt over her backside, letting her get a feel of the material before he brings it down. Soon, goosebumps begin to rise on her smooth skin.
Her attitude had been off for the better part of two weeks. All after Eleanor ran into them on their way back from the gym. She shamelessly flirted with Kai in front of her, Bonnie played a good sport at the time, but he could see how it got to her.
Ever since then she'd been moving strangely, not much different, but still...off her game. He didn't understand why things were getting to her, how the other girl managed to get Bonnie so off-balance. She couldn't possibly believe Eliza's delusional flirting meant anything to anyone other than her.
He played the part she wanted him to play and made nice, he didn't shove Bonnie onto the nearest table and fuck her to show just how little he cared about Elma's advances, nor did he hit her in the face with a tire iron like he so often considered.
He smiled and nodded and pretended not to notice her blatant attempts to get his attention. He pretended her flirty comments were just innocent jokes to show familiarity, that her touching his arm didn't aggravate and nauseate him; pretended that he hadn't ever fantasized about butchering both her and her brother the same way he did her ex.
"You're going to count them for me." His hand is rubbing soothing circles into the swell of her hip. This gentleness belies the rough treatment to come.
His grip then travels to the globe of her ass cheek, where his fingers continue to draw patterns, lulling her into a sense of ease. When she relaxes, he knows he has her right where he wants her, and he strikes.
"One-" the smack stings and she winces at the contact.
"One," she repeats.
"Two," he slaps more sharply than the first.
"Two," she winces again in response.
When he gets to three she parrots as she did for the first two.
Four, five, and six are relatively easy, seems he's plateaued, for now.
Seven, eight, and nine are harder.
By the time he gets to ten her ass is red and she's wriggling away from him. At least she's trying to, his non-spanking hand keeps her firmly in place.
By number fifteen she's still squirming, but not quite for the same reason. His hand keeps dipping down from her backside to her core. After the first ten, he traded the belt for his own hand. The damn hand lands against her ass and then his fingers are slinking down, winding their way to her still-clothed slit.
She hates it.
She's into instant gratification, Kai is always talking about patience. She pushes back against his hand craving more friction, more of him. When he ignores it she waits five spanks then takes it a step further by reaching back to pull her own panties to the side.
Kai 'tsks' at her, "Naughty girl," he reprimands. "For that, I'm adding another five."
The spanking, of course, turns to fucking. How can he resist when Bonnie practically begs him? She asked so nicely, used her manners n'all. He can never resist her.
He always gives her what she asks for.
"Is - this- what - you -wanted?" He spaces his thrusts through the sentence. "Huh? Is it?" He sincerely wants an answer.
Kai slows his thrusts and gathers her hair and pulls her head back, fingers on the front of her throat to ensure she can't pull away, "Is this it, baby girl? Tell me..."
"Y-yes," she sobs wantonly.
"What's gotten into you, Bon?"
He gives her an opportunity to speak, but she remains silent.
Kai looks into her eyes and it's like he can see down into the deepest parts of her, the parts she keeps so masked and hidden from everyone around her. He finds his answer in the depths of her eyes, "You wanted your monster to come back? You were worried about me? Is that it? Wanted me to prove I'm still in here?"
Her widened pupils and sharp moan immediately after he asks confirms what he suspected, "Aww, I know you missed the old me, but I'm right here, Bonnie. You should've seen me in action tonight. Your monster is right here, Bonster. I never left." He presses his hips forward and grinds his pelvis against her, when he does this it presses against her clit indirectly. Bonnie grinds back and he watches her pleasure-stricken face closely, before leaning down next to her ear, "-and I never will," he whispers directly to her.
Bonnie moans louder than he's ever heard. He clamps his hand over her mouth because any more of that and this will all end too soon. Bonnie doesn't talk nearly as much as he does, but everything that does leave her mouth overwhelms him, moans and words alike.
He holds her face in his hands and kisses her deeply, "You know I'll always chase you."
Eventually, they finish with rounds one, two, and three, but Bonnie still wants, and so does Kai. He can tell by how she paws at him and kisses his jaw between staring into his eyes. Her touches stir his arousal once again and soon he is hardening against her thigh as they lay tangled together. They're in the sweet spot between one session and the next, both panting and basking in the afterglow and awaiting one of them to start things up again.
This time Kai initiates, but he wants to take it slow. They both still want to go again, but they've expended most of their energy from earlier in the night. All either of them have the capacity for is lazy and sluggish.
Not that they mind.
Right now, he's got her hips cradled between his hands and begins sweetly pressing his mouth to her stomach that shivers underneath his gentle attention.
"I don't want anyone else, Bonnie. It's only you..."
"Only you," he repeats, kissing his way down her abdomen.
He pauses to gently kiss her navel, rubbing his tongue to trace it.
"Only you..."
lower...
"Only you..."
even lower...
"Only you..."
and lower still...
"Only you...you...you..."
Each word gets him closer and closer to her center. Until finally, he reaches her.
Kai takes his time making her writhe and thrash. She demonstrates her muscle memory from years of cheerleading when her back bends to form a full minor arc.
Not wanting to be the only one receiving, his lover reaches down to his hardness and takes him in her hands. As her mouth O's in pleasure, she still is reaching out to him, touching him, pleasing him.
That's what he loves about Bonnie- among all the many things that he loves about Bonnie- her need to please rivals his own; she's just as hungry for him as he is for her.
He allows her to palm him until he can no longer take it. When he looks up at her and his mouth glistens in the light, it inspires her to move quickly. She grabs onto his shoulders and pulls him up, wanting to feel his weight pressing her into the mattress. He drags himself up against her body and they kiss until neither of them has air left. She licks the traces of herself from his face and they share the taste of her essence when their tongues find each other once again.
Before long he's easing back inside her warmth, careful not to overwhelm her already sensitive flesh as he does so.
They move together- slow and steady. Breathing each other in and out, inhale and exhale, they create a system, an endless circuit.
Kai flips them so Bonnie is on her knees and pushes into her slowly from the back. Bonnie leans against the pillows and looks over her shoulder while she throws back against him. Their lingering gazes push her to the end sooner than she anticipated and her eyes shut as pleasure rolls through him and into her.
When he senses she's close he leans forward, blanketing himself over her back, and bites her behind her ear- the spot just barely shy of her nape, two breaths to the right of her C4 vertebrae and three above her shoulder. She needs that last little push to get her over the edge and into The Valley below. He licks the salt from her skin and it obliterates all sense of herself.
He pushes her through it until he's tumbling too. Falling over the bluff, crashing into waves of bliss.
The line between them has dissolved and they're just energy. Just cells and matter. Pushing and pulling each other in the dark. Expanding and contracting, pulsing and weaving.
His hunted, his prey. His life.
His beloved.
Bonnie is his soul made real; some sliver of his goodness personified. His flesh and blood heart.
Kai is her backbone, her holy rage, her insistence. He is her ire and her follow-through.
They complete each other. They are each other.
Kai's got himself sorted out, but he's had a lot of time to. He hopes he's helped her discover herself even a fraction of how much she's done for him. He doubts he's been as crucial to her as she has to him, but she has changed- he can see it in the way she's firmer in her boundaries.
She's cut off Elaine completely, she's making time for people who matter, people who show up for her. People like Lucy and Caroline.
She's better about not staying late at the office.
She's even better at cooking. Her coq au vin is almost near his own. Almost.
Bonnie has been so beautiful to witness. He knows it's all her hard work, but he hopes he's at least been able to help inspire some of these transformations. She's surer of herself than ever and he loves it. She is burning brighter than he's ever seen, he's so glad he spent so much time watching her.
They've built something bigger than themselves, something they want to hold onto. They've jumped headfirst together and they're staying in the deep.
Sure, he sniffed after a skirt before, but nothing like this.
All just practice and prep for the final score.
One last job to take him out of the game.
Kai Parker has met his other half.
Point. Set. Match.
I can't fool myself, I don't want nobody else to ever love me
You are my shinin' star, my guiding light, my love fantasy
There's not a minute, hour, day, or night that I don't love you
You're at the top of my list 'cause I'm always thinkin' of you
I still remember in the days when I scared to touch you
How I spent my days dreamin' plannin' how to say I love you
You must have known that I had feelings deep enough to swim in
That's when you opened up your heart and you told me to come in
Oh, my love
A thousand kisses from you is never too much...
Oh, my love
A million days in your arms is never too much
I just don't wanna stop
Too much, never too much, never too much, never too much...
Well, who needs to go to work to hustle for another dollar
I'd rather be with you 'cause you make my heart scream and holler
Love is a gamble and I'm so glad that I'm winnin'
We've come a long way and yet this is only the beginnin'
(Luther Vandross, Never Too Much)
AN: Why, yes, I do love head- how did you know?
It's like my girl Meg said, "I love the niggas with conversation that find the clit with no navigation, mandatory that I get the head, but no guarantees on the penetration." What a fucking bar. Yea, this story has a lot of oral and I won't apologize for it- You could say Kai is quite the cunning linguist, plus if anyone in the universe deserves constant head it's Bonnie Bennett.
I want to be incredibly clear; this was meant to end with the last chapter. I had it all done and I thought that was it! I thought there was no more left to write!
All this was purely motivated by positive feedback! I appreciate all your comments more than could ever say. Someone said they wanted to see them a year in the future, well ask and ye shall receive! It really gave me the motivation to dive back into this.
Believe it or not, song choices were made after everything was written, Back In One Piece was added because I think it fits well, but I also wanted to nod to the late great legend, Earl Simmons, DMX, rest easy big dog.
Hope you all like this glimpse of them a year post-stalking sitch. Lemme know what ya think bb.
AN2: As I mentioned before there is a playlist for this fic, I am pretty proud of it tbh...but FF doesn't let you put up links at all so message me if you'd like it
AN3: I would like to apologize to Entrapta, I'm so sorry sweetie, it was really nothing personal.