September, 1948

In which Steve has a nightmare.

A soft, sad noise pulled Peggy out of sleep, and she blinked blearily into the dark, trying to locate the source of the sound. It didn't come again, but there was a sharp intake of breath on her left, and she rolled to face Steve. His breath was coming in quick, uneven stutters, and as the tiniest, saddest whimper escaped his lips, she woke up enough to realize he was having a nightmare.

"Steve?" she said softly. He didn't wake, but made that sad little sound again. "Steve, darling, wake up," she said a bit louder, reaching over to lay a hand on the side of his face. He gasped and his eyes snapped open, and even in the darkness, Peggy could see them glistening with moisture. "Are you alright?" she asked.

"Peggy?" he breathed, his hand coming up automatically to hold hers even as his eyes searched the room.

"I'm here," she said. "It's alright. You were just having a nightmare."

Steve absorbed that and then nodded. "Sorry. I, I woke you up, didn't I? I'm sorry, I—" He started to pull away from her, embarrassed, and Peggy slid her hand down from his face to his shoulder to keep him in place.

"It's alright," she said. "What is it?"

Steve closed his eyes and shook his head. "I was seeing it all again. That moment in Wakanda when Thanos…" He let out a long, stuttering sigh. "I watched Bucky disintegrate. He was scared, and he…My name was the last thing he said," he whispered. "Like he still thought I could help. But I couldn't. All I could do was watch. And the ashes…When I touched them, they were cold. Like he'd never been alive at all."

Peggy's heart ached at the pain in his voice.

"The dream always starts with Bucky," Steve said quietly. "I saw him go with my own eyes, but in the dream I can see all of them. I can see Sam, and he's flying and his wings go first, but the rest of him disappears before he can hit the ground, and the ashes just scatter in the wind. I can see Wanda, and she's crying over Vision's body, and ashes are falling from her face instead of tears and then she just vanishes. Rocket's little tree friend, disappearing in Rocket's arms while he tries to hold on to him. T'Challa, just disappearing into the dirt. All of them. They're all gone."

His voice cracked as he finished speaking, and Peggy saw the glint of tears on his face in the crack of moonlight coming through the window. "Oh, Steve, darling," she whispered, and she slid her hand free of his, wrapping it around his neck instead and pulling him closer, bringing his head down to rest against her chest where he could hear her heart beating.

"He said he'd take half," Steve whispered. "But he took everything. Everything. And we couldn't…We couldn't get it back. It was gone. They were all gone. And he's dead now but he's still..."

"Shh," Peggy soothed, stroking her fingers through his hair. "Shh. It's alright. It's alright, darling. I'm here." She kissed the top of his head. "I'm here, and I've got you now." She kissed him again. "He didn't take anyone. They're back now. They're back and they're alive and safe. You brought them back."

"I know," he said softly. "When I'm awake, I know that, I just…" He trailed off, and Peggy felt him shake his head. "I wish my subconscious would get the message." He sighed deeply. "It hurts just as much as it did then," he whispered.

Peggy placed a gentle kiss on top of his head and nuzzled her cheek against him. "I know," she said softly. She dreamed less about Steve's death than she used to, but the dreams still cut deep when they came. "But think of them alive. Remember that they're alive and well." That was what she did when her nightmares replayed the Valkyrie's crash, though it did help that she could lie up against Steve and hear his heartbeat and feel the warmth of his presence. "Think of that moment when you were alone on the battlefield and you heard Sam's voice. When the portals opened and they all came home."

She resumed her stroking of his hair. "And just lie here with me and be," she whispered. "Be loved. Be whole. Be home." She wasn't what he had lost, but she could remind him of what he had now. She could be an anchor, tethering him back to the world away from dreams, where everything was well now.

Steve sighed deeply and nuzzled his head more closely to her, and she smiled and started to hum, something soft and sweet that she didn't quite remember the words to, but that recalled safe, sleepy moments in her mother's lap.

One of Steve's arms snaked up and slid around her back, holding her close against him. She felt the tension slowly draining from his muscles as his breathing began to even out. "I love you," he breathed, pressing a soft kiss to her skin.

"I love you too, darling," she said. She kept stroking her fingers through his hair, slowly spiraling out into larger circles that reached across the back of his head and down his neck. "I love you so much. Go back to sleep." She kissed him gently. "I've got you now."