Lean on Me Chapter 7: Confession
Badgerclops hesitated, slightly taken aback by Mao Mao's plea. The feline rarely ever begged for anything. The last time that the cybernetic badger could even recall was before they arrived at Pure Heart Valley, and Mao Mao had wanted to buy a Lucky Ducky mug from a market. At that moment, Badgerclops considered sweeping the conversation underneath the metaphorical rug before he quickly derailed the thought.
He was absolutely exhausted; it felt as if with each passing second that his eye was open, the more his bruised body demanded sleep. However, he was aware of the fact that, unless he resolved whatever was going on with Mao Mao, nothing would change. Besides, Badgerclops'd never was able to get any kind of rest knowing the feline would only proceed to wear himself down to nothingness.
He liked to think it was called being a "good friend."
"Sorry, dude," Badgerclops stated, quietly. He'd be lying if he said that he truly meant it. "No can do. We're not leaving until you answer my question."
Mao Mao's expression instantly shifted in accordance with his response; his glowing eyes narrowed thinly and a hardening scowl tugged the corners of his lips down. Although, what worried Badgerclops was the dangerous spark developing in Mao Mao's eyes; the kind that appeared whenever the feline felt himself up against a challenge.
"You say that like you can stop me," Mao Mao warned.
Badgerclops' eye widened, and his mouth dropped open in shock. He had a familiar sinking feeling where this particular conversation was going. "Mao Mao, stop. Don't-"
His objections were selectively unheard by Mao Mao's ears and, before Badgerclops could even blink, the feline was springing unsteadily to his feet. He twisted on his heel, blatantly planning on making a run for it in any direction he could. However, just like what had happened during movie night, Mao Mao's body swayed to the side, his knees buckling under his weight and sending him towards the wooden floor below.
"Woah!" Badgerclops nearly jumped out of his seat, and he just barely snagged Mao Mao under his armpits, swiftly saving him from kissing the ground. The second he touched the feline's boiling skin, Mao Mao began to struggle out of his grasp. "Hey!" He ducked his head to the side, narrowly dodging a wild elbow to the nose. "Stop it, man!"
Despite his loud demand, Mao Mao continued his rather weak attempts to escape. Yet, no matter how hard Mao Mao tried, Badgerclops refused to let him go. Eventually, whatever energy Mao Mao had accomplished in conjuring up, melted away into nothing, and the cat remained stiff in Badgerclops' hands.
"Alright, Mao," Badgerclops began, slowly, noting how unsettlingly quiet he'd become. "Are you-?"
His sentence was cut off by Mao Mao lurching forward with a cough so rough that it made his own throat sore at the sound of it, and Badgerclops had to readjust his grip lest he dropped the feline. The action led to a literal cascade effect and, before either of them knew it, Mao Mao was forcibly locked into another fierce coughing; this one worse than the last.
Badgerclops heavily patted Mao Mao on his heaving caped back, rubbing what he hoped to be comforting circles in the red fabric. "Come on, Mao Mao," he coached, quietly. He could feel the cat's temperature rising underneath his fingertips. "Remember to breathe."
It took around a minute for Mao Mao to regain control over his bodily functions; he knew this because he counted each second. After the last cough left his mouth, Mao Mao slumped against Badgerclops, completely devoid of any and all energy, and panted, his breaths loud in the silence of the room. Delicately, mainly because he was afraid Mao Mao would fall apart his hands otherwise, he lowered the feline onto the couch. Mao Mao immediately hunched over, bowing his head over his lap. He rested his elbows against his knees and supported his head in his hands, sucking in several deep breaths. Badgerclops watched him for a while, eying how haggard Mao Mao appeared before he opened his mouth.
"Mao, you really gotta give yourself a break," the huffing feline didn't react to his statement, and Badgerclops pursed his lips. Quietly, he added, "otherwise, you'll never live long enough to be a legendary hero."
Mao Mao stiffened at the familiar words, and he weakly lifted his head to acknowledge the cybernetic badger. Badgerclops was happy to see that, besides the sweat dotting Mao Mao's forehead, the feline's face had softened a bit. "You're really-" Mao Mao's voice was gruff, and he paused to clear his throat. "Not going to drop this, are you?"
"Not a chance," Badgerclops stated, smiling weakly.
Mao Mao bobbed his head; it seemed he was contemplating something. Then, he leaned back into the pink cushions of their couch, his eyes drifting to the dark ceiling above them. "My mom usually calls me on the second Tuesday of every month," he began, slowly, deliberately. "But, for the first time since we've arrived here in the valley, she didn't call when she should've."
Badgerclops nodded, encouragingly. That explained those days where Mao Mao would lock himself up in his office for an hour or two.
"When she finally called," Mao Mao continued, clenching his fists. "I could tell something was wrong. My mom didn't sound like she usually did; she talked like she was tired or drained. When I asked her about it, she kind of pushed me away. All she did was tell me she-she was fine."
Like mother, like son, Badgerclops thought.
"My mom refused to tell me anything until I pressured her to," Mao Mao pressed an arm over his eyes, blocking them from view. "Then, she told me that she was in the hospital, and how she had a relapse a couple of days ago."
Badgerclops absorbed the grim information like a sponge. So, he was right; Mao Mao's mom did get worse.
"She'd pushed herself too far. All she wanted to do was take a stroll and tend to the family garden, but she overdid it, and she-"
The cybernetic badger reached over and lowered a comforting hand on Mao Mao's shoulder. He opened his mouth, ready and willing to inform the feline that he could stop - that he didn't have to go any further - but Mao Mao beat him to it. "We fought about it for a while. But, I wasn't upset. I was just scar-" Mao Mao swallowed the word before it could fully form. "Worried something really bad happened."
Silence fell between the two of them, but Mao Mao's words - his story - hung heavy in the air. Badgerclops stared at them as if they were right before his eye, rolling what Mao Mao told him over and over in his mind. This wasn't like when Mao Mao had to bury his burning desire for cobbler because some dumb book said so; this was something that dug down and burrowed its way into Mao Mao's heart.
"So, your mom got worse," Badgerclops stated, gingerly. He felt as if he was witnessing Mao Mao at a very sensitive time, and the last thing he wanted to do was upset the feline. "And, it reminded you of your family's rules, and the consequences if you didn't follow it."
Mao Mao stopped, and then he nodded. "Pretty much."
"But, that's stupid."
The sentence tumbled gracelessly out of Badgerclops' tired lips before he was aware of it, and he quickly slapped a hand over his mouth. He knew it was too late. The words were already out into the open, slicing through the previously undisturbed silence like butter.
Mao Mao lifted his arm enough that Badgerclops could easily spot a green eye glaring at him. "What?" He growled.
The cybernetic badger rose his hands in defense. "Ok, ok, ok, look. That came out wrong. What I meant is that you shouldn't let what's been happening with your family rule you. I mean, remember that whole thing with the cobbler? Your family code or whatever was against eating that, but you made the decision to love it."
"I did," Mao Mao muttered, angrily. Badgerclops knew he was still iffy about the whole cobbler situation. "That's not the same thing."
"And, you're right. But, why can't it be?"
The feline sighed, and he twisted his head away, pulling away from Badgerclops' hand. "You still don't understand, Badgerclops."
Badgerclops dropped his hand. "Then, tell me why."
He stared expectantly at the back of Mao Mao's head, stubbornly waiting for him. After a moment, Mao Mao huffed, moodily, and he dropped his arm from his face. Then, for the first time since the cybernetic badger forcibly pulled Mao Mao from outside, the two of them maintained eye contact - an unfocused green colliding with a blackened blue.
"Answer this, Badgerclops. If a hero gets sick, then they're weak," Mao Mao recited. "If they're weak, then they aren't capable of being a legendary hero. Then, what good is a hero that gets sick?"
Badgerclops furrowed his brow. Mao Mao's statement reminded him of a child reciting nursery rhymes or something. Is this what Mao Mao's family taught him? You were unworthy of being a true hero based on whether you were capable of getting sick?
He exhaled through his nose. "You know what my answer to that is, Mao Mao? Nothing."
"Nothing?" Mao Mao tilted his head. "Why nothing?"
"Because it doesn't matter," Badgerclops said.
Mao Mao's expression hardened again, his brows dipping down. "It matters to me."
"Well, it shouldn't. Before anything else, heroes are people. Believe it or not, people get sick. And, guess what, Mao Mao?" The cybernetic badger pointed a sharp finger at him. "You're a person. So are me, Adorabar, and the rest of your family. We're all people capable of getting sick, whether we like it or not."
Mao Mao pushed his finger away. "But, my family-"
"Look, Mao. This-" Badgerclops gestured around them. "Isn't like your other family. This isn't your jerk dad," Mao Mao scowled at him, but didn't object to the comment. "And, your sisters. This is just me and Adorabat - the family you have now. And, guess what? We don't care about rules and regulations. We only care about you and if you're okay. And, right now, you're not okay."
Mao Mao's lips twitched upwards; Badgerclops knew he'd just told Mao Mao one of the few things that he always wanted to hear:
I care about you.
Ever since he'd met Mao Mao, the feline wanted someone to acknowledge him - to care about him. He knew because, secretly, that's what Badgerclops wanted too. His own mother criticized and belittled him until Badgerclops felt like there was no one in the world who would merely care about him. Then, he met the Thicket Thieves; they treated him like he was someone who was useful - who was worth keeping him around. Yet, when Badgerclops needed them the most, they were nowhere to be found. Mao Mao was the only one to reach his hand out to him, and Badgerclops wanted him to know that he was more than willing to do the same thing.
"You know it's not that easy," Mao Mao muttered.
Badgerclops shrugged. "Maybe it is, and maybe it isn't. You'll never know unless you try, Mao Mao. This whole thing with your mom sucks, and I'm sorry that it happened that way," he lowered his hand onto Mao Mao's shoulder, and he was happy when the feline didn't shrug it off. "But, there's nothing wrong with being weak and vulnerable. If you fall, either I or, heck, even Adorabat'll catch you. It won't mean that either of us will see you as anything less than a hero."
Mao Mao stared at the hand on his shoulder. "So, what you're saying is that I'm, uh, allowed to be sick?"
His voice was small, almost timid-like; it was so unlike his usual loud, brash attitude that Badgerclops had to resist the urge to check the feline's temperature with the back of his hand. Instead, he smiled, and he shrugged. "I'm not here to tell you what to do, dude. That's all for you to think about."
He knew Mao Mao's family liked to make most of his decisions for him; what he could and couldn't like. Badgerclops, like Mao Mao said, didn't understand all of his family's rules and, truthfully, he didn't want to. But, what he did understand was this was something he refused to decide for Mao Mao; the feline's decision was his own, not Badgerclops'.
Mao Mao was quiet, internally mulling over his next words. Badgerclops waited on him, not too keen on rushing his decision. Finally, before the cybernetic badger could react, Mao Mao leaned forward, and he dropped his overly warm forehead onto Badgerclops' chest. He jumped a bit at the surprising action, a little worried that Mao Mao might've fallen unconscious or something, and he opened his mouth to say something-
"I think," Mao Mao began, his words nearly muffled by the cybernetic badger's thick fur. "I'm sick, Badgerclops."
Badgerclops chuckled, a relieved smile spreading across his face. Gently, he wrapped his arms around the feline, and he pulled Mao Mao into a loose hug. "You know what, Mao? I think you're right."