Chapter 7 - A Game of Hide-and-Seek

A/N: Get ready for a lesson on plurals! XD

I don't own PJO.

The gods struggled to their feet. Hermes was somewhere unknown, but besides the fact that the effects of dizziness were still wearing off, the gods didn't want to bother chasing him down. They wanted to play hide-and-seek. And if they found Hermes while doing so, well, then that was a bonus.

After a few minutes, Zeus told all the gods, "Let's stand in a line so I can do Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Moe!"

"Let's not," said Artemis.

Apollo was muttering and counting on his fingers. "Ee-ny-mee-ny-mi-ny-moe—dang! Not a haiku!"

"That was seven syllables," Aphrodite noted.

Apollo's face brightened and his eyes lit up. He began composing a haiku in his head.

"Aphrodite!" Artemis yelled. "Why did you have to go and tell him that?"

Aphrodite stuck her tongue out. "Because."

Artemis gave her a nasty look.

Apollo clapped his hands. "Got it!

"We play hide-and-seek

Eeny-Meeny-Miny-Mo

To pick who is It."

"Wow," Artemis laughed, "that's really, really bad."

Demeter frowned disapprovingly. "I agree. It didn't have any cereal in it."

"That would have made it worse," said Hera.

"Can I be It?" asked Dionysus.

"And can we avoid bad haikus?" Hephaestus added, looking at Apollo.

Ares coughed. "I'm pretty sure the plural is 'haiku.'"

"You add an 's' to make a word plural," Poseidon chimed in. "So Hephaestus was right."

"No, I'm, like, a hundred percent sure the plural form is 'haiku.'" said Ares.

Hephaestus rolled his eyes. "When you make a word plural, you usually add an 's,' or an 'es.' 'Haiku' is no exception."

"You're wrong, Ugly! The plural form is haiku without an 's!'"

"'Ugly!?' How dare you! You're the ugly one!"

Ares pointed a sword at Hephaestus, who in turn aimed his hammer at the war god.

Athena stepped between them, wanting to avoid another fight over something petty. "Ares, you are right, even if this is the only time that you are. Hephaestus, you're correct, too. Both forms are the plural of 'haiku.'"

"Told you," said Ares, making a "nyah nyah" face at Hephaestus.

"Okay," said the blacksmith god, "but I was right, too. And you still are ugly."

Athena shrugged, glancing at Ares before smirking. "He's right, Ugly."

"Hey!" yelled Ares.

"Can we just play stupid hide-and-seek?" shouted Hera.

"Fine," said Ares as Dionysus turned towards a marble pillar. The gods scampered off to find hiding places. "No going out of the palace!" Hera called after them. "We don't want this game taking ten years!"

In Dionysus's head, a plan was forming. He knew how to make this game shorter.

He shouted at the top of his lungs, "One, two, skip a few, ninety-nine, a hundred! Ready or not, here I come!"

He whipped around to find the gods frozen at the throne room doors.

"That's cheating," said Aphrodite.

"I found you, didn't I?" Dionysus retorted.

Hephaestus pushed his way forward. "Let me be It!"

He faced the same pillar Dionysus did, and began to count normally. "One, two, three…"

The other Olympians ran off, except for Ares.

Hephaestus finished counting, calling, "Ninety-nine, one hundred! Ready or not, here I come!"

But when he turned around, he couldn't see anything besides… armor? He was confused for a second before he realized that Ares was looming over him in his scariest war helmet. Hephaestus screamed, startled because he wasn't expecting his brother to be there.

Ares cracked up, hard.

Hephaestus glared at Ares for a long time before saying, "Well, that's one found out of ten."

Meanwhile, Hermes was trying to reach the cookie jar on top of the refrigerator. Hestia had placed wards around it, so every time he tried to use his winged hat and sandals, they failed to work. He tried teleporting to it, but the wards caused him to stay put. He grumbled, getting the step stool out of the pantry. That was before an out-of-breath Apollo ran in.

"What's up?" Hermes asked, unfolding the step stool. "Do you want me to get you some cookies, too? They're snickerdoodle."

"We're playing hide-and-seek, and Hephaestus's It," Apollo panted. He dove into the pantry, shutting the door behind him.

"Hide-and-seek, you say?" asked Hermes, mostly to himself. He loved hide-and-seek. He decided that he would stop trying to steal the cookie jar and hide. But where?

Hermes ran out of the kitchen and down one of hallways, heading for—well, he wasn't sure where he was heading for.

That's when he looked up and saw the chandelier.

"Maia!" he shouted, activating his winged shoes. He flew up and grabbed the top of the chandelier, holding on tight to it.

He noticed Hephaestus walking underneath it. He'll never find me up here, he thought.

Unfortunately for the messenger god, he had forgotten to deactivate his shoes. He was precariously balanced on the chandelier, and one of the wings on his right shoe fluttered. It was enough to unbalance Hermes and send him falling to the ground, right in front of Hephaestus.

The forge god jumped back, but he didn't seem fazed. Instead, he said, "Two found out of eleven."

Hermes stood up, brushing himself off and grumbling.

"What were you doing up there?" Hephaestus pointed to the chandelier, which was still swinging back and forth.

"Uh, well, Apollo told me about the game, so…I hid," muttered Hermes, annoyed that his hiding spot was revealed so easily.

Then he stood up on tiptoes and whispered "He's hiding in the pantry," in Hephaestus's ear.

"Thanks for the tip!" Hephaestus ran off towards the kitchen.

"Don't tell him that I told you!" Hermes called after him.

Hephaestus threw open the door to the pantry, where Apollo was hiding behind some of Demeter's cereal boxes. "Gotcha!"

"How'd you find me?" Apollo asked as he crawled over a bag of flour.

"Not telling," said Hephaestus.

After that, he found Artemis hiding behind a big stuffed deer, and Dionysus behind some wine barrels (which were actually filled with Diet Coke).

He decided he would try and find Poseidon next. He figured he would be hiding in a place with water. And where would that water be? In Poseidon's huge aquarium, of course.

He was right.

Poseidon was crouched behind a large kelp plant, wearing goggles, a wetsuit, and a scuba tank. Hephaestus knocked on the glass, and his uncle's eyes widened. He swam to the top, and took off the goggles and the tank. "You found me."

Before Hephaestus could say anything, a loud voice behind them announced, "Your goggles look stupid."

Hephaestus and Poseidon whipped around to face Aphrodite.

"Um, aren't you supposed to be hiding?" asked Hephaestus.

"Yeah, but I had a strong sense that somewhere on Olympus, someone was wearing something unfashionable." She gestured towards Poseidon. "And I was right. It was your goggles."

Poseidon glared at her. "I LIKE these goggles!"

"They look really bad!"

Hephaestus left them bickering as he went to search for the other gods.

Demeter had taken Apollo's place in the pantry, and was eating cereal. Of course, thought Hephaestus.

He found Zeus in the living room begging Hades to let him borrow his Helm of Darkness. "I'm not playing hide-and-seek with you," Hades was saying, "so I'm not going to help you. Also, I don't even have it!"

Zeus opened his mouth to protest, but Hephaestus jumped out from behind the door. "Found you, Dad!"

Zeus groaned in disappointment but leaned over and told Hephaestus where Hera was hiding.

He found her just where Zeus said she was, behind the bathroom curtain.

Hephaestus and the other gods returned to the throne room. "I think you got everyone," said Ares.

"Thank goodness you didn't find Athena," said a relieved Poseidon.

"I forgot Athena!" Hephaestus exclaimed. He quickly retraced his steps in his mind. He couldn't think of anywhere she would hide besides the library, but he had looked in there and was unable to find her.

"Wait," said Hades, holding up a hand. "I lent her my Helm."

Hephaestus grumbled, ignoring Zeus's shouting about Hades not letting him use it. "Great." With Hades's Helm, Athena was invisible beyond nobody being able to see her. Nobody could hear her, either. She was a strategist. Of course she would choose to use Hades's Helm.

He decided the best plan would be to try and draw her out.

"Hmm, what doesn't Athena like?" he asked the other gods after he told them his plan.

"Poseidon," said Zeus.

"Besides that," sighed Hephaestus.

"Haikus," Apollo offered.

"Your guitar playing," said Artemis to her twin.

Hephaestus snapped his fingers. "You're right, Artemis! She doesn't like loud rock guitar music!"

He ran to his room and came back with a rock guitar and an amp. He plugged in the amp, turned the volume all the way up, and started rocking out.

The other gods covered their ears.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, Athena stormed into the throne room, Hades's Helm tucked under her arm. "Who is making that infernal racket?"

"Found you," Hephaestus smirked.

Athena marched over and unplugged the amp.

"We should start a family band," Apollo suggested.

"NO!" shouted all of the gods.

A/N: I really like snickerdoodle cookies.

Please review, I really need ideas!