Chapter 7

3 days later

The Winter Soldier looked up as the door opened. This time he wasn't surprised to see her again. Apparently, they had decided to keep her in this mission. She on the other hand didn't seem very happy about that.

"Hi."

"Hello," he replied, managing to surprise her. "So, they sent you again."

"Yeah," she murmured.

She looked tired; he noticed the dark circles under her eyes. Much to his surprise, she walked over to his bunk, took a seat and buried her face in her hands.

"I'm sorry," she murmured. "I just… I haven't slept well, and I have a terrible headache."

He didn't comment on that, he had no idea what she expected him to say.

"I don't know what to do," she continued. "I don't understand why… Why are they doing this?"

"That's irrelevant," he replied. "I'm a soldier and soldiers follow orders. It's not my place to question orders."

Those words came out automatically, although he had already broken his orders. Not once but twice. He felt guilty about that. He was a soldier and soldiers followed orders. Failing a mission wasn't an option. She looked up.

"But you did question them," she pointed out.

He frowned.

"That was wrong."

"No, it wasn't. You couldn't do something that felt so wrong…"

She gasped as he moved in front of the bunk and yanked her to her feet.

"I'm a soldier," he snarled. "Soldiers follow orders."

"Alright, alright," she said quickly. "I'm sorry."

He glared at her for a moment before letting go of her arm. His grip had been so tight that he had bruised her.

"That was not my intention," he murmured.

"That's alright," she assured, placing a smile on her face. A fake smile. She was afraid of him. She should be afraid. He should have followed his orders. He was a soldier and soldiers followed orders.

"It's alright," she said quietly and touched his arm. "Why don't you sit down."

For some reason he obeyed. She took a seat as well, keeping a noticeable distance between them.

"Alright," she started after a moment of silence. "We don't know what they're doing and why, but we need to decide what we're going to do."

"There's no we," he snorted.

"Alright fine, you and me. Is that better?"

No, it wasn't. None of this was right.

"You expect me to keep lying for you?" he asked sharply. "In exchange for what? That little show you gave me last time?"

She bit her bottom lip; a flush was rising in her cheeks.

"Don't get me wrong, those were nice, but something like that would cost you much more."

"Okay," she murmured. "Let's talk about that. What do you want?"

What did he want… The question sounded strange. He couldn't remember anyone asking that before. But what did he want? He wanted what had been promised to him. Intimacy. Physical pleasure. An opportunity to touch a soft female body. Sadly, he would have none of those things from her, not without taking them against her will. Why would that matter? Why couldn't he just follow his orders? He could ask Dr. Nolan to replace her. Then the doctor would ask why. What could he say to that? That he had lied about the previous missions? No, he couldn't say that. He was stuck with this damn woman.

"I don't know," he snapped. "A normal woman?"

Her eyebrows furrowed.

"A normal woman? Well, I'm so sorry I wasn't more excited about the wonderful opportunity of having forced sex with a stranger. I know that makes me a bad woman, please forgive me."

He rolled his eyes, although he saw her point.

"Alright, drama queen. What are you suggesting then?"

She sighed and shook her head.

"I don't know. I'm just so tired."

"Why haven't you slept?"

"Because I'm scared, alright?" she murmured. "You have no idea what my father would do if he would find out… I don't want this, any of this. I just want to go home."

Home. That sounded strange. Home. He couldn't remember ever having a home. That couldn't be right. Surely, he had a home. Why couldn't he remember… It wasn't his place to remember. He was a soldier and soldiers followed orders.

"You need to forget those thoughts," he stated. "They're not useful."

"It's not that easy," she murmured.

"Sure it is. Concentrate on your training."

"What training?" she asked.

"Right, I forgot you're not an agent."

"No," she huffed. "I wanted to become a therapist."

"Why?" he asked.

She shrugged.

"Because of my mon probably. She was very ill. Mentally."

He didn't know what kind of response he should have given, so he didn't say anything.

"Anyway," she continued. "About this…situation. What do you think we should do?"

They didn't have much choice. Damn it.

"I failed my mission when I lied to my superior," he replied. "Telling the truth now would no doubt lead to some very unpleasant consequences."

"Yeah," she murmured.

"We don't have much choice then, unless you're willing to complete the mission right now."

She swallowed.

"I…"

"I didn't think so," he snorted.

"I'm sorry," she murmured tensely. "I really am. It's just…"

"What?"

She pressed her lips together and looked away.

"I've never had sex, alright?"

He had to admit that he was surprised. Her behavior made more sense now, but he really couldn't understand why they had chosen her.

"I know we can't keep lying forever," she murmured. "Especially since we don't know how long this… project will last. I know I'm asking a lot, but do you think that you could maybe give me a little time?"

He knew he really shouldn't do that. He had already crossed the line. And yet…

"Fine," he stated.

"Thank you," she sighed. "Thank you."

He tensed as she got up and kissed his cheek. No one has ever done that. At least he couldn't remember.

"I won't forget this," she assured.

"You better not," he snorted.

What was he doing and why? He shouldn't be doing this. He needed to follow his orders. He was a soldier and soldiers followed orders. What was wrong with him?