SCOUT
She wasn't sure how long she'd been asleep, but the fatigue, lingering headache and pain in her shoulder told her it wasn't yet long enough. It had been mostly fitful sleep, until her dad had held her close, humming the way he had when she was little. The soothing vibration of his plastron calmed her. She was safe in her dad's arms, shielded from a world she could not hear. Her parents were the best. Held their cool like champions, even when shit got crazy, like when Alli was sick…
Only last night it was her that was sick. It was her that had them calling Uncle Donnie. It was her that was a complete mess. Why had the withdrawal been so bad this time? It hadn't been like that the other two times. The headache was always part of it, and it was worse the second time—but not enough that she wouldn't want to take Essence again. Not when it gave her the one thing nothing and no one else could.
In fact, she needed to get back to Tripp's and see about getting more. Maybe she needed a higher dose. It hadn't lasted long enough. Maybe they'd have something she could take to help with the withdrawal. Or maybe she could take it more often and wouldn't have to get so sick. Her heart fluttered. That was a great idea, then she'd be able to hear all the time too!
Someone shook her shoulder. She opened her eyes, then winced at the throbbing behind them. Jem was standing over her, a deep frown on his face. He looked so much like dad right then, the way he had when Alli was sick. He shook his head and signed, "You shouldn't be smiling. Do you know how much trouble you're in?"
Trouble? But it was over. She was fine. Everything would be fine now. She had a plan. Oh damn. Her money! Those creeps stole her money! How would she buy her next doses? Oh, and Jake, was he okay? She tried to sit up but the wound on her shoulder sent stabbing pain across her entire back. Briefly, Jem flickered to solid black, the entire room disappearing before reappearing again.
She lay back down, pulled her pillow under her cheek and stared at Jem. One good thing about being deaf, she seldom felt compelled to answer or comment on anything she didn't want to. Entire conversations could be happening around her and the majority of people didn't speak sign language, or enough of it to understand when she joined in. Sometimes, by the time she had a chance to comment they'd moved on to another topic.
For the most part, she stayed in her silent world, keeping to one on one situations where she was more likely to have her companion's full attention. Uncle Yuuta was the best, even better than Jem in some ways. Even though Yuuta could hear, he couldn't speak, so he signed a lot too. Mom and Dad were great, but sometimes she needed to talk to somebody who understood how frustrating life could be.
Her brother was staring at her, signed his comment once more. He didn't understand. And he wasn't Mom or Dad, so she wasn't in trouble with him. She didn't have to answer, and she wouldn't. She just wouldn't. So, she closed her eyes.
He tapped her on the arm again, harder. Then with more urgency demanded she answer him.
"Aren't you supposed to be in school?" she fired back.
His mouth fell open before he snapped it shut, an angry scowl on his face as he signed a full recount of last night.
She wished he'd just go to school, leave her alone. Her hands moved, sharp and precise to emphasize her anger though she was laying down. "Mind your own business." She would've rolled over, put her back to him, but her shoulder wouldn't permit it.
As Jem's jaw shifted, flexing the muscles along his throat, movement near their bedroom door caught both their attention. Andrea was there, Aunt Zoe and Uncle Raph right behind her. Why were they here?
Aunt Zoe had such a disappointed look on her face that Scout considered rolling over despite her pain. Either that or closing her eyes and trying to go back to sleep. Oh! That's what she'd do. Thank them for coming, assure them she was fine and that she just needed more sleep. But wait. If they were here then they knew what happened. That was bad.
"Where's Mom and Dad?" she signed to Jem.
His blue t-shirt lifted and dropped as he heaved a sigh, his shoulders slumping a bit as Aunt Zoe came and put a hand on his shoulder. Scout's heart picked up an uncomfortable rhythm. Had something happened to her parents?
Before she could ask Zoe explained. Her hands moved slow as though she were speaking to an idiot, though it was really just that she wasn't the best signer. "Alli is sick again. They're getting her situated, then they'll be right back."
Oh no. With great effort Scout inched up. Jem, seeing that she wanted to be upright, helped her, propping her up with pillows.
Andrea came to stand beside Zoe, waving a hand to get Scout's attention. "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine," Scout answered in her blurry voice. She hated speaking, trying to recall how something should sound and forcing that out without being able to determine if she'd managed it correctly. If they'd even understood her. "I'm just tired."
Her Uncle Raph was leaning against the door, observant but motionless. If he had any opinions he was keeping them to himself. Good. She liked that. But wait. That wasn't like him. Scout swallowed hard. Maybe this was too much. Her and Alli both at the same time. Alli with a relapse. She needed to assure them she was okay. But how?
Her gaze shifted from her uncle, to her brother, to her cousin, and her aunt. They didn't all need to be here. She was fine. Really. "Where's my phone?" she asked.
Jem's hands moved in a frustrated, "Why?"
Really, Jem? A puff of air escaped her in a huff. "Because, I want to text Mom and Dad, tell them I'm okay. You guys don't all have to be here. I'm fine."
Aunt Zoe's eyes shot to Uncle Raph who strode into the room, motioning the three of them out. Then he set his green gaze on Scout and if she could she would've dissolved into the wall.
Uncle Raph was the worst signer. Most of the time he didn't even attempt it, he just spoke slow and clear so she could read his lips. He always made perfect sure that she understood every word he was saying, which is exactly what he was doing right then. "This is not fine. Drugs are not okay. You are not okay. No one is going to just let this go. You stay put until your parents get here then we'll figure out a plan." He pointed a finger at her. "Got that?"
Her insides twisted and churned. She wasn't sure if she was still sick or if the understanding that her actions were not going to be dismissed was making her feel that way. The disappointment in everyone's eyes wasn't helping any either.
"Got it?" he repeated. "Did you miss any part of that? Any part at all?"
"No," she replied. Surely, she could smooth this over with her dad. He wasn't as hard as Uncle Raph. And if she really needed back up she could always count on Yuuta. But he was probably too busy with Alli. What the heck was wrong with her sister now? How hard was it to put food in your mouth and chew?
Raph clapped his hands together, right at the end of Scout's nose. Her eyes shot to his face.
"Do you understand me?"
Scout exhaled an angry, "Yes, now leave me alone!"
Raph's eye ridges shot up. "That last part ain't happenin,' kid."
That was exactly what she was afraid of.
NIK
Nik inhaled a few slices of toast as he struggled into his backpack, rushing towards the intersection where he typically met up with his cousins to walk to the high school they all attended.
For the moment, he'd abandoned his disguise, leaving his cane retracted and tucked into his backpack as he flowed through the foot traffic of New York, like he was navigating the currents of a river. If no one paid much attention to where he was looking, or failing to look, not a risky bet in a large, indifferent city, he could pass as a guy wearing sunglasses.
Going to sleep had been a terrible idea. He should've just stayed up until he had to leave, but he was wiped after getting home and crashed without even getting undressed. At least that had saved him some time after snoozing his phone alarm six times.
To his shock, only Nellie stood waiting for him, radiating anger and impatience. He expected to arrive last. Had everyone else gone in without him? Uncle Leo would have a fit, always insisting they stick together as though they were little kids.
Maybe Nellie had drawn the short straw? Though it kind of stung to think Shen hadn't volunteered, he knew what a powerful sway her dad's disappointment had over her. He understood that better than anyone.
Still, being stuck with Nellie in this mood wasn't going to be fun. Like her father, she shared Uncle Aries's famous temper. It would not be a pleasant run to school.
"Where the hell is everyone?"
Or maybe he wasn't last. "No one else is here yet? It's halfway through first period."
Her fury burned like physical heat, causing him to step back. "I. Know. Some of us actually care about our attendance records."
"Sorry I'm late." Shen dashed up to them panting for breath. She must've sprinted the whole way.
Nellie redirected her rage towards Shen and Nik breathed a sigh of relief as it shifted away from him. He imagined it was like having a spotlight turned away from his face.
"And where are Drea, Jem and Scout? I've got a presentation to give second period."
Vision clearing without Nellie's rage overpowering his senses, he could see Shen's jagged anxiety. Something was wrong.
"Chill, Nellie."
"It's Chane. Is it that hard to remember?"
He could see Nellie's patience fraying, but Shen didn't care. "Whatever. It's just us today. Let's go." She took off without waiting for any indication they would follow.
He watched a thread of concern weave through Nellie's anger as she fell into place behind Shen. "Where are they? Drea usually lets me know if something's up."
Shen sighed, sadness enfolding her. "She's probably been too busy. Uncle Raph or Aunt Zoe will probably make sure she and Jem get to school."
So, it was Scout. Something was wrong with Scout. He and Scout weren't close, so he couldn't even begin to guess.
Their respective issues made communicating particularly difficult. He wasn't always able to orient himself so that she could read his lips and, while he'd tried to learn to sign, without being able to see what he was doing or should be trying to do, it was like trying to speak a language you couldn't hear.
Interpreting sign language was even worse, he could always see the motion, or lack thereof, but it relied so heavily on shape and position, that he typically had to touch each sign to figure out what it was. It was one of the few times he actually felt blind.
Uncle Yuuta was patient enough with him to do it, but Scout became frustrated too quickly to make the effort of conversing with him. The most annoying part was that he could mostly understand her when she spoke, being more inclined to pick up on the nuance of sound.
Unfortunately, his tendency to see her meaning more than hear her words put her off talking. More so than usual. So, though they'd grown up together, he didn't know Scout as well as the rest of his cousins.
"What happened to Scout?" Nellie hadn't failed to pick up on Shen's omission either.
A shrug drifted up off Shen in waves. "I guess she got jumped and stabbed last night."
He recalled his father car-sleeping in front of their building. "My dad was out patching her up, wasn't he?"
"Yeah, I think so." Shen flickered with uncertainty.
Nellie's incredulity curdled around her. "Wait. Someone got the jump on Scout? Does anyone know who this badass is? Uncle Leo must be freaked."
Shen's anger sparked back up. "Oh, he's freaked alright, but not because whoever got Scout had any kind of skill. My mom said her wound doesn't seem like it was done by anyone who knows what they're doing."
Confusion swirled around Nellie. "Then how...?"
"Scout was high on something, so dad's probably going to have all of us drug tested. Yay." Her irritation smoldered.
Nellie groaned. "What? How are the rest us untrustworthy?"
Nik frowned and looked down at the pavement, its solidity calming, covered in aging tracks of countless people, their energy signatures slowly fading away.
He'd been approached by some shady figures last year. They'd probably thought him truly blind and had offered him something they swore could make him see. He hadn't liked how their smooth, sincere words had contrasted with their malice-tinged greed, so he'd told them where they could shove it.
There was no such chemical compound, or his dad surely would have made it already. He figured they'd just been preying on him as a gullible sucker, looking to con him out of his money and hadn't thought to tell anyone. But what if it wasn't just some placebo? What if it messed you up in the head too? How badly did Scout want to hear? He had to tell his dad when he got home.
Shen shook her head, cascading waves of motion off to each side. "I don't know, but you can expect they'll be watching all of us like we're junkies about to relapse for the foreseeable future. Come on. We're late enough already."
ALLI
Walking home with Anton and Yuuta in stiff silence, knowing her mom and dad were waiting, was so not what Alli wanted to do today. Her body was heavy, fatigue growing. There was a knot in her stomach, some mix of hunger pangs and nausea, probably from a buildup of stomach acid with nothing to digest. The whole people staring at you and lecturing, that whole thing coming, well it didn't help either.
The one good thing to come out of this walk home was that Anton had held her hand, a firm committed grip, the entire way. Only releasing her to open their apartment door. Alli held her breath as she followed him and Yuuta entered after her.
There at her kitchen table, were her parents. Her dad's face bright though there were lines at the edges of his forced smile, his eyes sad, red-rimmed though he tried to hide it. "Hey, Alli-bird! I've got your shakes chilling in the fridge." He bolted from his chair, sticking his head in the refrigerator only to look up and ask, "Strawberry or chocolate?"
She wanted to say neither so bad. Bed. Sleep. That's what she really wanted. But what were the chances they would let that go down? Four sets of eyes were burning her skin, the air tense and hanging upon her father's open-ended question. She needed time to think.
"Allison, we had an agreement." Her mom had dark circles under her eyes, her hair uncombed. "I was just telling your father about it, and I think we need to bring Anton and Yuuta up to speed. If everyone does their part you'll get past this and be back on track before you know it."
Her dad lifted the two cans. "So, chocolate or strawberry? Or how about chocolate and strawberry? Oh, oh, I can get some fruit and ice cream and turn it into a chocolate-strawberry smoothie bonanza."
Her mom gently elbowed her dad to stop him before it really went off the rails.
Alli's brain sifted through all of her exit strategies. Although, in this situation she had few options. She could do this, drink the shake, make them feel better. Give them some comfort that she would live to see another day- or she could argue. But she was too tired.
"Strawberry," Anton spoke up. "We'll share it. Like we used to. Hope you bought a whole case of those things."
Michelangelo handed Anton a strawberry then a straw, winking. "Who do you think you're talking to? I could only squeeze ten in your fridge, but there's the rest of that case plus two more cases in your pantry. Same for the chocolate. I tried for more, but, as Speed 'n Go can tell ya, six cases are my limit. Also, I'm not allowed back there. But I can get more. There's still plenty of grocery and convenience stores that I haven't been banned from yet."
"We don't have a pantry." Yuuta signed.
Denim smiled wanly. "He means your hall closet."
Mikey scrunched up his snout. "I was wondering why it was full of coats and stuff you can't eat? Unless you're really desperate."
Alli looked away from the exchange to observe Anton, expecting him to seat himself at the table. Instead he plopped down on the couch, stretched out his feet and crossed his ankles. "I think it's a shake and movie day, Al." As he popped the tab, dropped in the straw and brought it to his lips he looked at her, inviting her to curl up next to him and rest. She would both make her family happy and get what she wanted, sleep. Good sleep with Anton nearby.
But he had a life that couldn't keep stopping because of her. She frowned. "Don't you have to work today? And what about school?"
"Karai is covering my classes. And I can write my essay from right here, on my laptop. We've got this, Al." He glanced at her parents. "What's the plan?"
Yuuta made his way to the hall closet, returning with a blanket. Then he approached her dad, squeaking for a chocolate shake and a straw.
"Got ya covered, lil bro." Mikey was happy to oblige, tossing the shake up, catching it on his shoulder and rolling it down his arm to Yuuta. His strained smile slipping into a more natural one.
Yuuta caught his shake before it fell and plucked the straw from his brother's hand before it could be passed with equal flourish.
Mikey shrugged sheepishly. "What? They say shake well before drinking."
Yuuta popped his can open and plopped down in the recliner, using his blanket to cover himself. He sipped his drink and pointed to the TV as if to ask what they'd be watching. Alli's heart swelled. Though she had a hellish night, and reverted to some really unhealthy habits, her family knew what to do without a lecture. Though there'd be one waiting if she didn't get on board. And it wouldn't be easy.
Her mother stood, her shoulders settling away from her neck as she seemed to relax a bit. "You know, I'll text you boys the details of the plan later. That way it's in writing and we're all clear on the guidelines. Alli understands that if she doesn't meet them it's rehab or hospitalization. And I don't know about her but this method you boys have looks mighty appealing so I know which one I'd choose." She reached out for Mikey's hand. "If you guys have this under control, we're going to go check on Scout."
Anton eyed the empty space beside him then looked at Alli, taking a sip from the shake. "What's your plan, Little-Bird?"
Alli inhaled deep and exhaled a string of thoughts she didn't want. Everything from recalling the events of last night, to her initial fight with anorexia. As she made her way over to Anton's side, taking her place next to him, she also pushed away memories of the day that caused it all and what she'd lost when it happened. There was a knot in her throat as she accepted the can, took a small sip from the straw and handed it back to him.
Her mother disappeared down the hall, returning with an electric blanket. She laid it over Alli, plugged it in and turned it on. Then her mother's eyes met Anton's and her lip quivered. Her dad must've seen it because he put his arm around Denim's back. "Come on, Blue Jeans. Alli's going to be okay. Let's go make sure Scout will be too."
Her parents each kissed her forehead, then closed the door behind them. Yuuta was well into channel surfing as Anton slipped an arm around Alli, turning so she was leaning against him, comfortably. His breath shifted the hair covering her ear as he whispered, "You're going to be okay, Al. It's going to be okay, I promise."
He didn't know it, but those words, he'd spoken, weren't far from another promise he'd made nearly six months ago... One that he couldn't remember the very day after he'd spoken them. She pulled his arm tighter around her, her heart aching because he was so close and she so desperately wished he knew... how much she loved him.