(RAVEN'S PERSPECTIVE)

I took a deep breath and looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. My hair had grown a little longer than the usual length. It was losing its gloss and texture. My strands were becoming more dull and brittle as the days passed.

I couldn't believe I was standing on my feet and facing my reflection. I survived yet another night of gruesome nightmares and immobilizing anxiety. I turned on the water, put toothpaste on my toothbrush, and let the brush glide across my teeth in slow motion.

Hot tears boiled in my eyes. I was angry that I had to face another day. The fallout Beastboy and I had recited itself over and over in my head. So now not only did I have bone-chilling pops dwelling in my head, but heartwrenching words as well.

I finished my long awaited hygiene routine, which was being visited less frequently.

After I was done, I headed out into the Common Room where Robin was cleaning down the counter.

"Hey, Raven. Watchya doin?" He greeted me.

"Hi, Robin, nothing just... roaming around."

"Alrighty uh..." Robin turned around to me with a cloth in his hand.

"What happened the other day?"

"Hm?"

"With you and Beastboy."

"We had an argument." I replied blandly.

"Have you talked to him since?"

"No." I scoffed.

"I think you should."

"Why? There's nothing to be said." I glowered at the thought of the feud.

"I'm sure there is. Um..." Robin was hesitating a lot.

Hesitation was not of Robin's nature but I knew he was being cautious for both my sake and his.

I swayed anxiously on my feet.

"I would ask how you are doing but I would either get a lie or irritate you. It's obvious you aren't doing well. I'm not going to push you to tell me anything, only if you want to. I just want to know...you lost your powers... is that why you haven't been going out to missions?"

It's a lot more than what's on the surface, Robin.

"Yeah."

"You usually lose them when something internal is going on." Robin reasoned.

"Yeah." I adjusted my view to the ground.

"Okay. You don't want to talk about it, I understand. Just know that... I'm here for you. We all are. There's no 'I' in 'team'. We are here to not only fight for the city, and ourselves, but for each other. And there's no way we can go outside and fight, when we can't resolve inside first."

"Thank you."

My lips curved into a tiny smile.

"Always. Take your time. Superhero life isn't easy. Putting on a brave face almost everyday is hard, especially when you have your own internalized battles. It's tough, Raven, having so many people depend on you to remain strong. And at the end of the day who is left to be a hero for you? Yourself."

"It has to be by far the most difficult job in the universe." I frowned.

"For sure. One thing I know is, with great pressure comes amazing things. Like how you iron your clothes or cook food. Everything has to go under a process. Sometimes the process is ugly, but the product won't be."

"Someone's profound today." my lips felt heavy as I spoke.

"I guess. I'm having one of those days after life thwacks me upside down and upside up, I find some inspiration within myself. I always tell myself those enlightening days will swing around, but I have to stick through the rut first. Someday, you will have those days, too. Just ride this rough patch out." My brother figure smiled at me.

"Okay."

The shine of the cleaned surface reminded me of the glint of the gun.

"Where's Cyborg and Starfire?" I quizzed.

"Lifting weights together. Beastboy left this for you. He's pretty clever for attaching it to the kettle." Robin handed me a small note.

Meet me on the Roof right before sundown.

As much as I wanted to crumple the note and toss it away, I decided to follow the instruction.

I nervously stepped foot on the Roof.

Beastboy was sitting on the edge.

"Oh. You showed up." he muttered.

"Mhm."

I stubbornly sat down next to the changeling.

"Raven..."

"What?"

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for everything I said to you. I was being insensitive and too stuck up in my own head to realize what I was saying. I didn't mean it, any of it I swear. I didn't mean to say anything about you being in your room too much and I definitely did not mean to say anything about you not being active on the team. I'm sorry Raven. I know you trusted me with all of this and I screwed you over completely. I'm sorry." Beastboy bowed his head in remorse.

"It's okay." I kept my eyes fixated ahead.

"It isn't. What I did to you wasn't okay at all. I should have given you some space instead of badgering you. After knowing everything you are going through I should have known better than to pester you like that."

I opened my mouth to say something, but I kept quiet.

My mind processed Beastboy's apology for a couple of minutes. It was heartfelt, mature, and pure. Beastboy could have kept grudging with me for all he cared. But he decided to take us both out of the setting and come to a truce.

"You're pun with the cup of tea was pretty clever, I'll give you that." I smiled at him.

"I know, I know," he beamed playfully, "It just happened to be the best joke at the worst time."

"Thanks for coming clean, Beastboy. I'm sorry for acting so rude that day. It was really hard and I shouldn't have taken out on you or Starfire. I'm lucky I have such caring friends."

I let my hood down, feeling more comfortable around Beastboy.

"Listen, I get it. Some days like that are going to happen. You don't want to be bothered, you jus' wanna keep to yourself. Everyone and everything bothers you. I get it, Rae, I really do."

I absorbed the sunset in front of us. A reddish yellow luminesce warmed our faces. The Sun laid the foundation for the spectrum of colors in the sky. There were bands of scarlet, gold, and some pastel spots of green, purple, blue, and pink. The clouds added to scene, acting as sprinkles on ice cream.

"Hey... uh, I didn't know you lost your powers. Why didn't you tell me?" Beastboy interrogated.

"It's not that I didn't want to tell you. I don't know, I should have told you. Sorry."

"No, no it's fine. Only tell me what you're comfortable with telling me." he replied tenderly.

"I guess I'm getting so scared to the point where this fear is finding another way out. The fear is messing with my appetite, my sleep, my meditation, my hygiene, now my powers. Now I have literal, physical evidence that I am useless."

"You aren't useless, Raven. You're in a hard spot right now and it's affecting pretty much every aspect of your life, and that's alright."

"Sure."

"I'm guessing the panic attacks aren't getting any better, are they?"

"Not a bit." I picked on a loose thread of my cloak.

"I think you should go to the doctor, Rae."

"For what? Feeling scared? You've got to be joking, Beastboy." I replied sarcastically.

"Not this time, I'm serious. This is a lot more than you being 'scared'. We are talking panic attacks, sleepless nights, eating issues, and broken routines. What's going on is eating you alive."

A tear fell from my left eye.

Beastboy noticed I was crying and put his arm around me.

"Rae, we need people to see us outside of ourselves. We need people to see our wounds and help us try to fix them. They might not be able to fix everything from the source, but they can pull out things we never knew we had. They can help us get rid of things we couldn't imagine living without. They can help us... heal." he put his other arm around my body.

"You are stuck in this horrible place and I want you to feel better, I really do. I want you to meditate again, sleep again, eat again, feel happy again, live again. I want Raven back... and I'll do anything I can to get her back."

My body trembled as I wept in Beastboy's embrace.

"It's just— I f-feel like I'm stuck in this scary movie that won't end. I have to keep living in the same epis-ode over and over again. B-Beastboy... the guy wasn't even a regular villain. He wasn't Slade, Malchior, or Johnny Rancid. He was a-a minor crook. If I'm scared of that, how can I fight anyone else?"

"It doesn't matter who it could have been Raven. What happened scared you, and that's totally normal. I don't know dude, you're really strong. Had it been me I would have lost it by now. But here you are... braving through everyday even if you don't want to."

The faint scent of cologne wafted through my nose.

My breathing and heart rate took a steady decline.

I felt as if I had a home in Beastboy. He brought me to a serene place. Away from my trauma, worry, and stress. He shed light into the dark recesses of my mind, and the unlit corners of my soul.

"You need to give yourself some credit, Raven, seriously. I'm really proud of you." I felt his shy fingers slither through my hair.

"I'm proud of you too... for being with me through all of this. I know seeing me like this is not easy for you." I hugged Beastboy's waist.

The sun sank deeper in the sky and the city lights became more dominant.

"Thanks, Rae. I say we go get you checked out as soon as possible."

"I agree." I whispered gently.

"It's gonna be okay. No one is going to hurt you. I'm here and I will be every step of the way. I promise."

"Pinky Promise?" I held up my pinky finger, still in Beastboy's hold.

"Of course." he wrapped his finger around mine and laid a soft peck on my forehead.