Chapter Seven
When we blame ourselves, we feel that no one else has the right to blame us. It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution.
Oscar Wilde
Somewhere off the coast of Japan.
His eyes fluttered open.
For a moment, Lelouch wondered where on Earth he could be. His head hurt, and his arms and legs ached, as if he had been sleeping at a funny angle. Had he fallen out of bed?
His eyes began to focus. He was in a very small, confined place; so small he could barely move. There was a mass of lights, and above it a screen, and a head facing towards it. A head, with red hair...
Then he remembered.
"So, you're awake." Kallen turned her head to face him, her expression sour.
"Wh...where am I?" Lelouch glanced around, his head throbbing. He finally recognised the Guren's cockpit. A quick glance at the screen showed a red dawn sky outside.
That meant...
"Nunnally!" Horror and dread flooded through him, driving away the pain. "We have to go back! I have to get to Nunnally!"
"We're not going back," replied Kallen firmly, her eyes hard. "The island's swarming with Britannians."
"We have to go!" Lelouch grabbed for the controls. "Nunnally!"
"Get down!"
Kallen grabbed the collar of his cloak and thrust him back, slamming him down against the wall of the cockpit; so hard that the Guren bucked and swayed. Lelouch froze, staring up into those blue eyes; those eyes full of pain, and rage.
"You do not tell me what to do!" she roared. "You do not touch my controls, you got that?"
In any other time and place, Lelouch would have wilted. But for all those eyes burned into his soul, he could see only Nunnally.
"Let go!" His words came out as a strangled, inhuman roar, as he thrashed and struggled. "Nunnally!"
"Shut up!" Kallen back-handed him across the face. The shock of it cut through his madness, sending it crashing back down inside him.
He slumped, stunned, barely comprehending.
"We are not going back there," Kallen said, with the exaggerated patience of someone well into the process of losing their temper. "The island is swarming with Britannians. Even if Nunnally is somehow on there, they've got her, and there's nothing you or I can do about it."
Lelouch wanted to say something, to scream and rage at her. But no words would come.
And what could he say in any case? Now that he thought about it, how was he to explain? How could he tell her of things he barely believed himself?
"Please..." he croaked, despair choking his voice. "I have to save her..."
For a moment, Kallen faltered, and he thought he might be getting through to her. But the moment was gone, and her eyes hardened once again.
"Don't give me that!" she snapped. "Do not try that on with me! I'm done with you manipulating me!"
Lelouch felt a sudden rush of anger
"I? Manipulated you?" he demanded, half-sneering.
"You lied!" Kallen shrieked, her eyes bulging. "You lied to us! You tricked us! You had us jumping on your every word!"
"I gave you what you wanted!" Lelouch snapped back, his despair and dread warping swiftly into rage. "I got you your country back! Don't act like you haven't gained from this!"
"Gained?" Kallen looked ready to strangle him. "Is that what this was about? Is that all Japan means to you? A gain?"
Lelouch's lip curled. His mind ran back to his time as a hostage; how Genbu Kururugi had made him and Nunnally live in a storage shed, of how the greengrocer had cheated him, and how the local boys had only stopped attacking him when Suzaku had left one of them with a broken arm. The glares, the jeers, the eyes cold and and unfeeling...
"Why should I care about your rotten country?" he snapped, too angry to control himself any longer. "What makes Japan so special that I should sacrifice my sister for it?"
He half-expected Kallen to scream at him, to attack him. But instead she looked away, turning her eyes from him. And that was worse.
"It might not be special, to you..." her voice was low, hoarse. "It's not perfect, and we're not perfect people. We've done stupid things, cruel things. We weren't as good as we could have been."
Then, at last, she turned her eyes upon him. They were red, and brimming with tears.
"But it's my country!" she shrieked. "It's my home! And those people out there are people, no different from anyone else! What the hell did they do to deserve all this?"
Lelouch wished he had not said it. He wished he had not brought tears to those blue eyes. He even wished they had never met, that he had never filled her wounded heart with such hopes; hopes that he was not sure he could ever fulfil.
"What did my sister do to deserve her fate?" he asked, almost growling. "What did she do to deserve being blinded, and crippled! What did she do to deserve the life she must live?"
Kallen squeezed her eyes shut, and Lelouch's heart ached even through his anger. Why could she not understand?
"How can you ask me that?" Her voice was thick with anger and pain. "You think she meant nothing to me? That I didn't care?"
Lelouch was taken aback. He couldn't think of a reply.
"I had a big brother once!" she shrieked, opening her eyes as her tears ran. "I was someone's little sister too! I know how Nunna feels!"
She paused, gulping down her sorrow.
"Imagine if someone was always there for you, no matter what they had to deal with," she went on. "Imagine being given so much love, and you can never, ever repay it, no matter how much you want to."
Lelouch's heart sank. A part of him wanted to deny it, to curse her for even thinking she could ever understand Nunnally. But those eyes would not let him.
"So don't act like you're the only one with a cross to bear," Kallen went on. "Naoto's gone, and I never even got to say goodbye. I'll never get to tell him how much he meant to me, how much his dream meant to me. All I can do is fight for his dream, and for my mother."
Lelouch could not think of anything to say.
"They believe in you," Kallen said. "Ougi most of all. He thinks you're the one to make Naoto's dream a reality. I...I believed in you too."
And that was it. What she said could have only one meaning.
"You can see it, can't you," he said, knowing for certain what lay at the root of her rage. "This thing in my left eye. This thing called Geass."
"Suzaku said you controlled people with it," Kallen said, her eyes full of pain. "Did you control us with it too? Did you use it on Tenryo? Did you use it to make me believe in you?"
She deflated, as if she had gotten some terrible truth off her chest. Lelouch tried to rally some excuse, but could find nothing. He could not bring himself to lie any more.
"I used it on Jeremiah Gottwald, to make him let us go," he said. "I used it on Kusakabe and his men, to make them kill themselves. I used it on the settlement administrators, to make them collapse the plateau for us. I even used it on Shirley, to make her forget about me."
He paused, gathering what was left of his courage. There was no going back, not now.
"I told Euphemia that I could make her do anything, even kill all the Japanese. In that moment my power changed, and ran out of my control. That was why Euphemia ran out onto the stage. That's why Tenryo was able to shoot her. That's why you can see my Geass in my eye, when you couldn't before."
He paused, waiting for the anathema he knew he deserved. Kallen just stared at him, her eyes unreadable.
"If that's true, then why isn't it working on me?" she asked. "I can see it just fine."
"Because I already used it on you," Lelouch replied. "It only works once per person,"
"When was that?" Her voice sounded so calm, so reasonable. He couldn't make sense of it.
"On the day we met," he said. "You were eating lunch in the quadrangle, when the girls you were with ran away because of a bee. You hid behind a bush, and you killed the bee with one blow."
"I remember."
"Do you perhaps recall a strange sensation when I spoke to you?" he asked. "A sense of...deja vu?"
Kallen's eyes widened.
"I used my Geass to ask you who you really were," Lelouch went on. "You see, I had seen you the day before. You were in a truck with a man, a truck carrying a large canister and your red Glasgow. You used your Glasgow to fight the Britannians."
"Wait...but..." Kallen looked bewildered.
"That motorcycle you almost ran up the back of was me and Rivalz," Lelouch continued. "After you crashed the truck, I ran down to see if I could help. But I made the mistake of climbing in the back, and the truck drove away. I hid, and saw you leave the cab and head for your Glasgow. You had your hair tied up like that."
He nodded at her, indicating the red headband that held her hair up in wild spikes. It marked the distinction between Kallen Kozuki and Kallen Stadtfeld, the one with hair up, the other with hair down.
"How do I know that any of this is true?" Kallen asked, her tone suspicious, her eyes yearning. "I've seen what kind of plans you come up with. How do I know this isn't a trick?"
"You don't." It was the only honest answer he could give. "I have no way of proving any of it. It's just a question of how much you want what you want."
The cockpit was silent.
"So what's your plan, then?" asked Kallen testily. "Are you gonna finish what you've started? Or are you gonna be chasing after Nunnally every chance you get?"
Lelouch paused, uncertain. He didn't want to lie to her anymore, or to make promises he couldn't keep. She had taken the matter of his Geass with remarkably equanimity; though he suspected that she just hadn't processed it yet. But if a chance came up to save Nunnally, and it put the Black Knights or Japan in danger...
A loud squawk cut through the moment. Kallen glanced at her dashboard, and her brow furrowed.
"Kozuki," she identified herself, activating the comm.
"Captain Kozuki? Thank goodness! I thought you weren't coming back!"
Lelouch recognised the voice. It was that girl Benio from before, and she sounded frightened.
"Benio, what is it?" Kallen asked, looking and sounding worried.
"It's all gone wrong!" wailed Benio. "The tower fell over, and its been total chaos ever since! A bunch of people ran wild, and there was fighting! And then a bunch of Britannians attacked the supply base!"
"What happened?" demanded Kallen, her face ashen. "How many?"
"I couldn't see much! Some knightmares, purple ones! They killed some people, shot up the supply caches then cleared out when the Black Thunder came back!"
Kallen looked horrified. Lelouch tried to think, willing his weary, suffering mind to clear, to calculate.
"What about Ougi?" Kallen asked, suddenly frantic. "The wounded?"
"They're fine! They didn't go near the field hospital! They mostly went after the supplies! And they took a load of trucks and buses and stuff!"
"What about our troops? Where's Tohdoh?"
"There's none here right now! Everybody's gone crazy! They're running wild in the settlement, drinking and stealing stuff and attacking people! Tohdoh's running around trying to stop them but nobody's listening to him!"
Lelouch shivered. He pictured the resistance fighters, drunk on victory, running wild through the settlement and the ghettoes, purging the fury and dread they had endured for so many hours. Like so many cities, in so many wars, for so many thousands of years.
He glanced at Kallen, and saw the look on her face, in her eyes. He knew she was thinking the same thing, and he had a shrewd idea how she felt.
"Benio, this is Zero," he said, putting on his best Zero tone.
"Zero? Thank goodness! You're alive too!"
Lelouch clenched his teeth, ignoring the look Kallen was giving him. The poor girl was obviously rattled. He would have to handle this carefully.
"Benio, are you all right?" he asked, very carefully and calmly, almost as if he was calming Nunnally down after one of her turns.
"I'm okay! It's just crazy round here! I'm on the comms because everyone else is busy! Professor Chawla's livid because her equipment got damaged, and Lady Sumeragi's very upset! Diet hard-san's stomping around yelling at people, and Inoue-san's trying to sort out the supply yard!"
"Benio, it's all right," Lelouch cut in, using the big brother voice. "I'll be there soon, but I need you to do some things for me. Can you do that for me?"
"Okay, one second!" There was a scrabbling noise. "Okay, I'm ready."
"Firstly, please tell Lady Sumeragi that I'm alive, and that I expect to land within..."
He paused, and glanced up through the forward viewscreen. He could see Tokyo Settlement now, or what was left of it. A great column of smoke rose up from the plateau, and he could see the scree of wreckage running down into Tokyo Bay.
"Within the hour. Did you get all that?"
"Yes, Zero."
"Good. Secondly, send a message to Chief of Staff Tohdoh. He is to bring what troops he can muster and consolidate around the supply base; that's where you are."
"Got it."
"Thirdly, find Diethard and give him the following order. I need a boat to be sent out to Shikinejima and Kaminejima islands. My knightmare went down in that area, and I want them to look for my pilot; a young woman with green hair. Do you understand?"
"Yes Zero. I got all of it."
"Good, thank you Benio."
He drew back, settling against the cockpit wall.
"Hang in there, Benio. We'll be there soon," Kallen cut in.
"I will!"
Kallen switched off the comm, and turned to regard him.
"So, you've made your choice."
"Yes, I have."
Kallen turned away, staring back at the viewscreen.
"If you want to save Nunnally, I'll help you," she said, her tone suddenly grim. "But if you pull a fast one like that again, if you betray us, then I'll kill you myself."
"Fine then."
(X)
Precinct 3, Tokyo Settlement
Kyoshiroh Tohdoh had never felt like this.
Never in his life, not amid the darkest times, or the failures he could never forgive himself for. None of it compared to this.
He had failed. He had been left in command, and the army of rebellion had disintegrated. He had tried to command them, but they would not listen.
They would not listen!
He gripped his joysticks, staring through bloodshot eyes at his forward viewscreen. He was out in front, Shogo Asahina and Kosetsu Urabe at his shoulders, a half-dozen more behind; men and women he had managed to pull out of the chaos, complete with working knightmares.
The street down which he and his companions rolled was a ruin, a vision of hell. The once-gleaming buildings were blasted and scorched, and some were on fire. Broken glass crunched under his landspinners. Every so often, settlers ran for cover as they passed, cowering amid the ruins of their homes and workplaces, staring out at them with fearful, bewildered eyes.
He had to find them. He would find them, every last one of them. Every one of the drunken, roistering fools, who put their own satisfaction above the cause to which they had pledged. He would find them, and he would drag them back to the supply base.
And if they didn't want to come...
A piece of flaming wreckage crashed to the ground in front of him. With less than a thought he moved, slewing easily around the burning debris. Still he looked, glaring out from behind his knightmare's red eyes.
Then he saw them.
A whole crowd of them, clustered around the double doors of a large building. Some of them were hacking and battering at the doors with axes and hammers, while others stood around, cheering them on. They wore civilian clothing, left ragged and stained by march and battle, festooned with bandoleers and webbing of about every type he'd ever seen. Some waved their rifles in the air, while others swigged from bottles. One of them was throwing up against the wall.
His eyes fell on the gatepost, and the brass nameplate upon it.
Precinct 3 Junior High School
"Halt!" he bellowed through his loudspeakers, so loud the revellers jumped. "Stop this immediately!"
After a moment's pause, the fighters turned to look up at him and his companions. Some looked nervous, but the rest just glared at him, irritated at having their fun disturbed.
"Who the hell are you?" growled one of them, his anger only partly driving the slurring from his voice. "What's your problem?"
"I am Tohdoh, Chief of Staff of the Order of the Black Knights!" he roared. "And you were ordered to return to the ghetto!"
"We're not done here!" retorted the man, apparently unimpressed by his title. "Besides, we came out for Zero, not some nobody!"
Kyoshiroh had a horrible notion, and turned his factsphere on the building, setting it to infra-red. He shivered as he saw the shapes inside, the human shapes clustered behind the boarded-up windows. They must have been trapped inside when the settlement locked down, or else had gathered there in some vain hope of safety.
"I speak for Zero!" he snapped, his temper fraying rapidly. "And Zero has no interest in murdering children!"
"They're Britannians!" griped one of the fighters. "They killed our kids! When's our turn?"
Several others yelled their approval. Kyoshiroh felt an overpowering urge to smash their spoiled, stupid faces into the ground. Soldiers he could deal with, but not...these.
"You don't get a turn!" he declared. "You don't get to behave like savages! You don't get to run wild while others are fighting!"
The foremost man glared at him, as did the others. Kyoshiroh could tell that he had offended him, that he had touched a raw nerve. He had seen it before, in young recruits yet to have their stupidity beaten out of them. He could only hope he could get through to this lot, as he had with them.
"You will come with me!" he ordered. "You will follow me to the ghetto, and you will do the duty that you took upon you when you took up those weapons you carry! You chose to be soldiers, and you will fight for our people!"
Then his face changed, his bitter glare twisting into a sickening smirk.
"No...we won't!" he sneered. "You...don't...order...us! So why don't you and your fancy speeches just...get...bent!"
They started laughing, like a bunch of teenagers. And their laughter hurt. It seemed to come at him from all sides, cutting into his very soul, every undulating cackle hammering at his wounded spirit.
"Shut your filthy mouths!" yelled Shogo Asahina. Kyoshiroh raised a hand to stop him, feeling a strange coldness coming over him.
"This is your last chance!" He levelled his wrist autocannon at the cackling fighters. "You will obey!"
The laughter stopped. And there was silence. Kyoshiroh stared at them, eyes leaping from one to another, trying to keep track of them all, waiting for an RPG to twitch up, or a grenade arm to pull back. It would only take one...
He could hear his own heartbeat. Time seemed to be slowing down, freezing into a single, terrible moment, in which he was doomed to linger forever. All he could see were their faces, their eyes, their hands...
He was vaguely aware of some kind of movement. He could hear voices, but they didn't seem to register. He heard the roar of gunfire, felt himself squeezing the trigger, the autocannon bucking as it fired.
He blinked. He blinked again. The fighters were gone, replaced with some strange-looking things, lying on the ground like so many tailors dummies or ragdolls. They lay there, their limbs flung about at strange angles, dark liquid pooling on the ground around them.
"Lieutenant Colonel! Sir!"
The voices registered, snapping him back to reality. That strange, wondrous moment was gone, and he was himself again.
He saw the corpses, and wondered for a moment what had happened. Then he saw the smoke rising from the barrel of his autocannon.
He had killed them. Except he hadn't. He couldn't remember doing it. It had all been so clear a moment ago, but now it was all a blur. He couldn't remember any of it.
Except he could. He had done it. He had killed them.
"Sir, we should go!" It was Asahina again. Faithful Asahina, who had followed him through so many battles. Asahina, who like the others had risked all to free him from captivity, and a shameful death.
Kyoshiroh did not answer. He looked at the bodies, and then at the building, at the door they had been trying to break through a moment earlier. The door was badly damaged, and the walls pitted and gouged, but no shots seemed to have penetrated. He could even see eyes peering around the ruined door, and through the boarded-up windows. Eyes, wide and fearful.
He had killed them.
He turned to look at his companions. Their wrist cannons and assault rifles were smoking too, their muzzles blackened from recent firing. They had fired too. They had fired with him. They had killed too. Maybe he hadn't fired first. Maybe it wasn't his fault.
He had killed them.
"Sir, message just in from HQ!" It was Urabe, his voice cutting through the cold, frigid cloud that had descended upon them. "Zero's okay! Kallen's bringing him back now!"
Zero was alive. Zero was coming back. Zero would learn of how he had failed, and what he had done.
He had killed them.
He turned towards the school.
"If you want to live, go west!" he called out, in his best English. "Go to Ashford Academy! They will take care of you!"
He turned his knightmare on his heel, and sped away down the street, neither knowing nor caring if his companions were following.
He had killed them.
(X)
Shinagawa Station, Shinagawa Ghetto
Lelouch gritted his teeth as he took in the sight.
The ruin of Tokyo Settlement was a horror, far worse than anything he could have imagined. But right now, it was as nothing compared to the supply base.
A great column of smoke rose up from the base, from right where he knew the supplies had been stored. He couldn't see any actual fires - fortunately he had thought to include firefighting equipment in his supply manifests - but the scale of the damage was clear.
Worse still was the railway station. A train was derailed, its carriages spilled over the tracks like so many discarded toys, several burnt-out and smoking. He could see people and knightmares moving around, the latter trying to lug the wreckage off the tracks, to make way for the new trains he saw backed up along the line.
Was that the White Sash brigade? Had they arrived already?
"What a mess!" grumbled Kallen. "This is all we need!"
Apt, he supposed. But it wasn't going to sort itself out.
"Set us down," he ordered, taking up the Zero mask that Kallen had mercifully remembered to bring with them.
"You ready for this?" Kallen asked darkly, as the VTOL began its descent.
"I have no choice but to be."
The VTOL set the Guren down next to the station buildings; in the same spot where the Gawain had stood a few hours earlier. Lelouch slid the mask on, and clambered out the back as the hatch opened.
"Zero!" As the ascension cable began lowering him to the ground, Benio Akagi came rushing out of the building. "You're back!"
"Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated," Lelouch replied, as he stepped down onto solid ground. "Is..."
"Zero-sama!"
A blur shot past Benio and wrapped itself around Zero's waist.
"Lady Kaguya..." Zero gasped, taken by surprise.
"Zero-samaaaaa!" wailed Kaguya Sumeragi, for it was she, burying her face in his chest. "Zero-sama! I thought you were gone! I thought you weren't coming back!"
Lelouch wanted to say something, but no words would come. He felt an urge to hug her, as he might have hugged Nunnally. But he could not. He had no right to.
"Please forgive me for having worried you, my lady," he forced himself to say. "The battle did not go as well as I had hoped."
"The Gawain!" whimpered Kaguya, looking tearfully up at him. "Is it lost? And Miss CC?
"I fear the Gawain is indeed lost," Lelouch replied. "As for Miss CC, have faith in her. She has survived far worse, and we shall see her again."
The former was true, at least. As for the latter, that was up to her.
"Zero!" It was Shinichiro Tamaki's turn to come racing out. He looked almost as relieved as Kaguya did. "Everything's gone totally nuts!"
"What happened here?" Lelouch asked, trying to establish some control. "What happened with that train? Benio said the Britannians attacked."
"Yeah, they did!" Tamaki's cheer vanished. "A whole bunch of them came boiling out of nowhere and shot up the supply stash. They were just shunting the last supply train when it happened. Black Thunder had to bust its way through to chase them away."
"What's this about them stealing buses and trucks?"
"Yeah, they did!" Tamaki looked confused. "We were stuck trying to run them out of the supply yard, and a whole bunch of them just went charging into the motor pool and made off with them. I don't know what the heck that was all about!"
"Where did they go?" Lelouch asked, his mind already working.
"North, as far as I could see."
North. Lelouch pictured the map in his mind. North, probably beyond the inhabited ghettoes. He had a sneaking suspicion as to what was going on.
"What about everyone else? What's the situation at the HQ?"
"Oh yeah, we had to evacuate." Tamaki paused, then realised he needed to explain. "Rakshata said the plateau was unstable because of all those missile hits. Minami gave the order to clear out, and we set up down here. We got here just after the attack."
"What about the academy students?"
"They cleared out not long after we left. Them and a load of the settlers too. They all went piling into Shinjuku and hunkered down there."
Lelouch willed himself not to enquire further. He wanted to ask about the Student Council, to learn if they were safe; or as safe as they could be in such a situation. But he had no time.
"Where are the others? Where is Tohdoh?"
"Oh yeah, they're in the back office. Tohdoh's on his way back with some more stragglers."
"Zero-sama," pleaded Kaguya. "Please be gentle with Tohdoh. He's very upset about what happened."
"Yeah, it wasn't his fault," Tamaki cut in, his manner suddenly grim. "Some of those guys went totally psycho! They were running around shooting the place up, getting plastered, going after the settlers..."
He trailed off, and Lelouch felt a cold shiver run down his spine. He wondered what Tamaki could have seen to unsettle him so.
"Come on. I'll see them now."
Zero strode into the building, the others all falling in behind. As he strode through the station concourse, there was no one else around. Probably they were too busy trying to put the station back in order.
"In here," Tamaki darted ahead of him, gesturing down a side corridor. Lelouch paused, and turned to Benio.
"Benio-san, you've done enough for now. Go and get something to eat, and get some rest. Things will get busy later."
"Oh, yes, thank you Zero!" Benio bowed, and hurried away. Lelouch nodded at Tamaki, who led the way down the corridor. The door at the end was ajar, and Lelouch could hear familiar voices beyond it.
"Hey guys!" proclaimed Tamaki, pushing the door open and swaggering inside. "Look who's back!"
Lelouch stepped past him, and into the office. All present turned to face him. Around a map table on the middle of the room stood Yoshitaka Minami, Kento Sugiyama, Diethard Reid, and Naomi Inoue, along with Nagisa Chiba and Ryoga Senba.
"Zero, you're back!" declared Sugiyama. "That thing, is it destroyed?"
"It crashed and sank near Kaminejima," replied Lelouch. "Unfortunately the Gawain went down with it. I've already ordered a boat to go and look for my pilot. With any luck she survived."
He paused, looking from one to another. If any of them were particularly upset by CC's apparent demise, they made little show of it. She had never been all that popular among them anyway.
"In the meantime, I must have all possible information," he went on, his tone silencing their questions. "What is our situation?"
An awkward pause, and then Kento Sugiyama stepped forward.
"As you probably saw, Tokyo Settlement is basically trashed," he said. "About half is totally destroyed, and of the other half, around half is either on fire or got trashed by the missiles. Some of our troops listened to Tohdoh and cleared off the plateau double-quick, but most didn't. Tohdoh's been running around trying to round up any that survived, but it looks like we've got all the combat effectives here already. As for the Britannian settlers, those still alive cleared out of the settlement and spread out to the north east."
He gestured at the map on the table, and Lelouch stepped closer in order to see.
"They're mostly in Shinjuku, Nerima, and Itabashi," Sugiyama went on, "and spreading out in that broad direction. There's nobody living there, and I guess they wanted to avoid our main force concentrations, here and here." He gestured to the south, where they themselves were, and around Saitama and Koshigaya.
"Tamaki said that after the Britannians attacked us here, they headed north with our trucks and buses," Lelouch said. "Could they have gone there?"
"If they have, no one's seen then," Sugiyama replied, awkwardly. "We got some troops guarding the settlers, and they haven't seen anything."
Lelouch paused, regarding the map.
"Could they have spread much further north-east?" he asked.
"Could be. We only have a presence up to the Musashino line." He gestured to illustrate. "You think maybe..."
"Tokorozawa," Lelouch said. "That's where they are. They're trying to evacuate as many troops and civilians as they can."
"You're sure of that?" asked Nagisa Chiba cautiously. "This is Britannia we're talking about."
"Benio told me that the attackers ignored the field hospital," Lelouch went on. "Their leader was almost certainly Gilbert Guilford. For all his faults he is known to be chivalrous. If any Britannian officer is willing to risk his life for civilians, then it's him."
He paused, waiting for any objection. None came.
"They still trust me," he thought. "Their trust was shaken, but they want this to be true. Too much to question, at least not yet."
"What forces do we have available?" he asked.
"Of knightmares, we've got forty-one useable knightmares and pilots," said Sugiyama grimly. "That's two companies and a few spares, plus whatever we can fix or cobble together. Chiba and Senba handled the infantry."
"We have a scratch brigade of four thousand effectives, under the command of Colonel Nishizumi, a mixture of JLF, ex-military, and similar," Chiba cut in on cue. "We've another four thousand effectives on top of that, but we don't have enough equipment or officers to organise them above company level. We thought to keep them in reserve for now."
Lelouch paused as he crunched the number. Under the system he had worked out with Kyoto, a company was nineteen knightmares, in three platoons of six plus a Captain; essentially identical to the Britannian system. A squadron was supposed to have three companies and an HQ unit, but in practice his own Black Knights squadrons had possessed only a single company each. And he'd lost a good portion of that in the past few hours.
"What of those trains backed up along the line?" he asked. "Are they reinforcements?"
"Yes Zero, the White Sash Brigade," Sugiyama spoke up. "One of their knightmare platoons dropped down to help us with the Britannians, and now they're helping clear the track. Their leader is a Lieutenant Takamura."
"I'll check on them later," Lelouch said. "Where is the nearest Britannian concentration?"
"As far as we can tell, Chichibu."
"Move the Nishizumi brigade up to the Musashino Line and keep an eye on the Britannians, but don't attack without my orders. Once the White Sashes are unloaded, I want them up there too. If there are any drones working, I want regular overflights. They're almost certainly going to run for Chichibu, but we need to keep an eye on them."
"Right."
"And what's the broader situation? Do we have any information yet on Japan as a whole?"
"My team managed to get a brief satellite tap," Diethard spoke up, while Sugiyama and Senba started changing the maps around, replacing the Tokyo map with a Japan map. "It was expensive, but informative."
Any service provided by Peace Mark tended to be, or so Lelouch had concluded.
"All large settlements and major military bases took at least a few hits," Diethard went on, taking his silence as permission. "Those in central Honshu were proportionately less affected, most likely due to the density of missile defences; these being the most important settlements. Those in Hokkaido and Kyushu were worst hit. This region from Aomori down to Fukushima," he gestured at the northern part of Honshu, "has the least functional Britannian presence, based on the satellite tap and comm chatter. Several units are at least claiming to have overrun settlements."
He paused. Lelouch wondered just how true it could be. And why his subordinates seemed so unenthusiastic at such wondrous news."
"There is something else," Diethard continued. "Our satellite tap also included two of the Chinese Federation's glacier fortresses. The Tia Shan is heading towards Hokkaido, while the Hua Shan is heading for Kyushu. Both have warships in attendance, and Chinese aircraft have made overflights of both islands. It seems logical to assume they intend to land
"Lousy stinking...!" snarled Tamaki. "They promise to help us, then they clobber us and send in the troops! They want Japan for themselves!"
Growls of agreement passed around the room. Lelouch sighed behind his mask. Certain truths would have to be spoken, and he suspected they wouldn't like them.
"There's nothing we can do about that," he said. "This was always going to happen, like as not."
"Zero, it was your plan to have the Chinese help us," Nagisa Chiba spoke up. "This wasn't supposed to happen."
There was a tense pause.
"Hey, what're you trying to pull?" demanded Tamaki, glaring at her. He stopped as Lelouch raised a gloved hand.
Lelouch turned to face Chiba head-on. Time to have this out.
"If you have something to say to me, then say it," he said, his tone hard but not too hard.
"Zero, the last time the Chinese Federation came, you ran them off," Chiba replied, her eyes suspicious. "But this time you invited them in, and they've stabbed us in the back. To be blunt, Zero, that puts either your judgement or your motives at question."
A frigid, tense silence filled the room.
"Do you believe that I am selling out Japan, Chiba?" Lelouch asked, keeping his tone mild. "Or do you think I am merely a naive fool who trusts the goodwill of the Grand Eunuchs? Which is it, Chiba? What is your true opinion?"
Chiba looked as if she wanted to say something, but could not find the words. The moments ticked on, the tension rising all around them.
"Zero, you are not Japanese," she eventually said. "We do not expect you to understand how the Chinese are viewed here."
"Then you say that I am naive," Lelouch went on, hardening his tone. "You say that I am ignorant of how things are here, of how the Japanese regard their neighbours."
"I..."
"Which is it, Chiba?" snapped Lelouch. He was growing tired of this. "If you think I have betrayed you all, then say it to my face, here and now! If you would challenge me, at least have the moral courage to do it openly and honestly!"
He couldn't stand it, couldn't stand knowing that it was really true. He had betrayed them. He had gone running off after Nunnally, and only come back because Kallen knocked him out. How could he condemn her for saying it? How could he not?
"Ah, don't waste your breathe Zero," sneered Tamaki, glaring at her. "She's just another greenshirt who thinks she's so much better than us!"
"How dare you!" barked Senba, his face reddening.
"Yeah, you gonna deny it?" Tamaki retorted. "You say you're not nationalists, but you're still wearing those green rags!"
Lelouch shivered as he glanced around the room, more grateful than ever for his mask. Minami and Sugiyama were glaring daggers at Chiba and Senba, while Inoue just looked worried. Senba looked ready to kill, while Chiba just looked pained. Diethard regarded them all with that sour aloofness that was his usual mien.
He could also feel Kallen and Kaguya bristling beside him. Were they on his side, or was female solidarity in play?
"Enough!" he bellowed, his shout cutting through the tension and ending the confrontation. He paused a moment, gathering his words.
"Did you seriously believe that we could do this by ourselves?" he demanded. "Did you seriously believe that Britannia would just walk away, and that we could rebuild all by ourselves? No, friends! That was never going to happen! The one bargaining chip we had against Britannia was that it can't afford a war with the Chinese Federation. This is our only chance to win!"
He paused, letting his words sink in.
"Our priority for now must be to secure the whole of Honshu, especially the sakuradite mines," he went on. "That way, the Eunuchs cannot take them by force without the risk of destroying them. We must also start repairing our vital infrastructure, especially our transport infrastructure."
He paused again, taking in the blank looks on their faces.
"Diethard's earlier hyperbole aside, this country has a combined population, including the Britannian settlers, of a little over hundred million," he continued. "The last time Japan could feed itself on its own resources, its population was a little over one third of that. Self sufficiency is not possible under these conditions. We will have no choice but to import food, not to mention other raw materials. Initially, these will have to come from the Chinese Federation until we can establish alternatives. Also, we will need our roads, railways, and rivers if the food is to be distributed."
An awkward pause.
"Damn, Zero," exclaimed Tamaki. "You thought that far ahead?"
"Someone has to," replied Lelouch. "In the meantime, we must focus on securing our position. What is the current state of Honshu?"
"We appear to be strongest in the north, up here," Diethard said, gesturing at the area from Aomori to Fukushima he had mentioned earlier. "Western Honshu and Shikoku are still under Britannian control, as are Kyushu and Hokkaido, at least for the moment. Central Honshu remains unclear, but Kyoto at least is secure for now. We effectively control Tochigi and Gunma right down to Tokyo, and along the coast to Fuji."
He fell silent, waiting on Lelouch's response. Lelouch's mind churned, taking it all in, fitting it all together.
"We must have an effort in the north here," he said, pointing at Fukushima and Niigata prefectures. "We need our northern forces to link up with Tochigi, then advance west towards Ishikawa. If this can be done, we can move our forces here inland via Chichibu, then on to Nagano, and then to Gifu, Fukui, and then finally Kyoto."
A quick pause for effect.
"If the Britannians conclude that all is lost in this region, then they will likely withdraw their forces into this region here." He pointed at central to western Honshu, where the island narrowed around Lake Biwa. "This region is contained between Nagoya and Osaka Settlements, the two largest and most heavily-fortified after Tokyo. If they can secure Kyoto and Lake Biwa, they will have a defensible redoubt, one we will not break open easily. To avoid this, we must invest Nagoya, but also take the territory around Lake Biwa, especially Hikone and Tsuruga. With Tsuruga and Obama under our control we can push south to Kyoto and isolate Osaka."
Another pause. That was enough to be going on with. He looked from one to the other, taking in their looks, their manner. They seemed to understand, and one or two even looked impressed.
"Instructions," he said. Time for their orders. "Diethard, pass my instructions to all northern forces willing to cooperate. They must send only those troops willing to fight outside their localities. The rest should be used to restore order, and start restoring the infrastructure. Any Britannians they find should be allowed to evacuate if they can, and detained if not. They are not to be mistreated beyond what is necessary to maintain order."
"Yes, Zero."
"The rest of you," he said, turning to his Black Knights. "Make any preparations necessary to get our forces and the scratch brigade underway. The scratch brigade can eat and rest for now, but I want them moved up to Tokorozawa as soon as the White Sashes are unloaded. The Black Knights will return to the SAR by rail, and we will reorganise there."
They nodded in acknowledgement. If they had any doubts, they made no show of them.
"Zero," Diethard spoke up, his finger pressed to his earpiece. "Chief of Staff Tohdoh has arrived."
"Excellent. Send him in here. The rest of you have your orders."
And with that, they all strode out. All except Kallen, who as his bodyguard had a right to be there, and Kaguya, who went where she pleased.
And Chiba and Senba, who stood by the map table, staring defiantly at him. Lelouch suppressed a sigh.
"Have you something to say to me then?"
"Zero, please don't get the wrong idea," Chiba spoke up. "We're all with you. We've achieved more with you in six months than in six years before."
"And?"
"Zero...". Chiba paused. She seemed to be fighting a battle inside, a battle with her very self. "Zero, Tohdoh was with us from the very beginning. He selected us, trained us, trusted us, bled with us. He chose us for his Shisei-ken, and he led us into battle."
Lelouch glowered behind his mask. This was getting on his nerves, and his nerves were already frayed.
"Is there something some of you want to tell me?" he asked, testily.
"Zero-sama," Kaguya cut in. "While you were on your way back, there was an...incident."
The room felt very cold.
"Explain."
"Tohdoh came upon some fighters in the settlement," Kaguya went on. She looked very nervous. "They were breaking into a school. He ordered them to desist and retreat to the ghetto, but they refused him. He..."
She trailed off, lowering her gaze. Lelouch glanced at Chiba and Senba, and saw the pain in their eyes.
"How bad?" he asked, keeping his tone level.
"Twenty-seven in all. The entire group."
"Holy...!" Kallen blurted out. "Zero, this is..."
"Something that was always going to happen," Lelouch replied firmly, hoping that his tone concealed the cold dread churning in his gut.
He had known it would happen, sooner or later. The Japanese were no more monstrous than any other people, but seven years of oppression, misery, and near-enslavement was enough to wear anybody down. And those seven years were being purged.
On the plus side, it had silenced his doubts as to what to do next.
The sound of footsteps in the corridor drew him from his thoughts. The door snapped open, with Shogo Asahina stepping stiffly inside. Tohdoh strode through, followed by Kosetsu Urabe, Asahina closing the door behind them.
"Chief of Staff Tohdoh," Lelouch greeted him. "I am glad to see you well. I would speak with you in private."
"Very well. Give us the room."
Tohdoh stood still, waiting to be obeyed. His four officers did not.
"Shisei-Ken." His tone hardened. "I have given you an order."
Lelouch saw his countenance shift, a flicker of anger, of frustration.
"We're staying, sir," replied Shogo Asahina, glaring at Zero.
"Ganging up on me, are you?" Lelouch thought, almost amused by their grandstanding. "You'll regret that, before we're done here."
"If they're staying, I'm staying!" declared Kallen, glaring at them.
"And I too!" added Kaguya, putting on a stubborn look that did not suit her doll-like face.
Behind his mask, Lelouch rolled his eyes.
"Fine then. Tohdoh, Lady Sumeragi tells me that you had some troubles earlier this morning."
Tohdoh's face was expressionless, but his four companions did not hide their feelings quite so well. They had known, likely before Kaguya had told him, and they were nervous about it.
If nothing else, he now knew why Chiba was being so troublesome.
"There was an incident earlier," Tohdoh admitted. "Lady Sumeragi knows the full details."
Lelouch thought of forcing him to recount what had happened. But there seemed little point, and he didn't want to undermine Kaguya by implying that he didn't believe her.
"This is serious, Tohdoh," he said. "I do not condemn you, but others will. You killed twenty-seven resistance fighters, our allies, for no more crime than insubordination. If the rest of the resistance learns of this, they may become restive."
That was putting it mildly. If this got out, all most of the resistance would see would be someone like Tohdoh slaughtering people like themselves. That they were disobeying an officer of an army that had failed to protect them seven years earlier would not bother anyone much. That they had malicious intentions towards Britannian civilians, some of them children, would bother them even less.
"I take full responsibility, Zero," Tohdoh replied, with soldierly dignity. "I also accept full responsibility for the failure of the evacuation."
"I do not blame you for the failure of the evacuation," Lelouch went on. "It was an impossible situation. But your responsibility for the other incident is plain. As such, you are hereby dismissed from your post as Chief of Staff."
Tohdoh maintained his dignity admirably. He has probably been expecting at least that much. But the looks of despair on his followers' faces made his heart clench.
"You will take on a new role, as commander of our regular forces," he continued. "To that effect, by my authority as commander of all forces, I am promoting you to Major General. Inoue will provide you with the necessary insignia. Your command for the moment will be the Nishizumi Brigade, and the White Sash Brigade,"
He heard Kaguya gasp with delight, and Kallen sigh with relief. The dread was gone from the faces of the Shisei-Ken, replaced with surprise and even hope.
Tohdoh drew the curved katana sword from his belt, and laid it on the table. Then he snapped to attention and bowed.
"Zero, forgive me, but I cannot accept."
The joy in the room turned to shock. All eyes were on Tohdoh, not comprehending, nor believing. How could he refuse?
"I would hear your reasons," Lelouch said, controlling his irritation. He had half-expected this, but he dreaded what he might have to say.
"I have failed, Zero," said Tohdoh, his voice quavering just a little. "You left me in command, and I failed to evacuate the plateau. Our forces disintegrated, and I failed to control them. I faced insubordination, and I responded from with murder. I am completely unfit to lead, or to hold rank."
Lelouch saw the look Chiba was giving him. It confirmed a lingering suspicion of his. Unfortunately, it did not much help him.
"Tohdoh, the disaster that has befallen our forces was not your fault," he said, with conviction. "Nor are you to blame for the wilful insubordination of those forces in and around Tokyo Settlement. You had every right to expect obedience, and they refused to give it."
Tohdoh straightened up, and looked straight at him, his eyes hard.
"Zero, you do not understand. I failed. My responsibility was absolute. No excuses can be given, or accepted."
"Yes, your responsibility was absolute," Lelouch agreed, fighting down his anger. "But so is my authority to decide your fate; an authority which Kyoto granted, and you have acknowledged. And by that authority, I have given you this responsibility."
A quick pause.
"You are a soldier, Tohdoh," he went on. "You are accustomed to the life of a soldier, and the company of soldiers. The soldiers out there followed your orders as they were accustomed. Those who disobeyed you were not soldiers, and not accustomed to obey. That is something we will all have to deal with, but this is a responsibility I know you can handle."
Tohdoh's shoulders hunched. He looked haunted.
"Zero...I am not worthy..."
"Enough of your self-pity, Tohdoh!" Lelouch heard himself bellow, fury engulfing him. "Where were your high-minded scruples when Suzaku Kururugi had need of them!"
A chill ran through the room. Zero could see their faces, all looking at him as if he had sprouted horns. All except Tohdoh, who just seemed to fade somehow, as if a part of him was draining away into nothingness.
The fury that had engulfed him faded, replaced with cold determination. His rage had gotten the better of him, and he had no choice but to go on.
"Yes Tohdoh, I know," he went on. "I know that you were Suzaku Kururugi's personal trainer when he was a child. I know that you resided in the Kururugi household, and that you were privy to its goings on."
He paused, letting the words hover over them. Time to drive the knife in, and hope he did not drive too far.
"You knew what Genbu Kururugi intended," he said, with cold vehemence. "You knew what he was, and what he meant to do; to betray his country to Britannia. But you did nothing. You hesitated, and prevaricated, and let a ten-year-old boy do what you did not have the courage to do."
He felt the cold shiver pass through the room. Tohdoh just stood there, looking haunted.
"But...that's not right!" pleaded Kallen. "Genbu Kururugi...he was the last samurai! He died for the nation!"
"He was a traitor, and a liar."
It was Kaguya who had spoken. She stood there, with all eyes on her, looking as haunted as Tohdoh did.
"My father left me this truth, before he died," she went on. "Genbu Kururugi deceived and betrayed us all. He tricked us so completely that, by the time his intentions were clear, neither my father, nor Kirihara-sama, nor anyone else could stop him. It was Suzaku who killed him, but by then it was too late."
Kallen looked like the bottom had fallen out of her world. She looked from one to another, mouth opening in silent denial, and then fixed her eyes on the Four Holy Swords, who looked back at her with grim resignation.
"You knew!" she cried. "You all knew, all along!"
"Yes, we knew," replied Senba. "We knew, as did the Kyoto leaders, and the leaders of the JLF.
Kallen lowered her head, her eyes squeezed shut. Lelouch's heart ached for her, as he imagined the battle raging in her soul. How much more pain would he cause her, before this was over.
"You think you failed this night, Tohdoh?" he went on. "You truly call that failure, after the way you failed Suzaku? Coward! Hypocrite!"
Tohdoh moved. He became a blur, grabbing his sword and tearing it from its scabbard as he lunged at Lelouch. It was all Lelouch could do not to fling himself away as Tohdoh halted, his blade hovering at Lelouch's throat, eyes blazing with murder-light.
Kallen had her pistol out, aimed at Tohdoh. But the Shisei-Ken had drawn their own sidearms, and aimed them straight at Kallen.
"Stop this!" demanded Kaguya, who looked like she was a at the end of her tether. "Stop this now! This is useless! Tohdoh!"
Tohdoh did not reply, nor did he even move. He stood where he was, stock-still, poised like a coiled spring to finish what he had begun. Lelouch felt cold sweat drench him. But he could not fail now.
"This is the Tohdoh I know," he said, forcing his tone to stay level and calm. "This is the Tohdoh Japan needs."
"I loved that boy," Tohdoh growled, and Lelouch could see a terrible anguish in his eyes, lingering behind he fury. "He was the son I never had. If it could have been so, then things would have been different."
"Then why didn't you, Tohdoh?" Lelouch asked, a little more gently this time. "Tell us, Tohdoh. You are owed that much, and you owe that much."
For a moment, Tohdoh said nothing. But Lelouch could see the Shisei-Ken behind him, the looks in their eyes. They, at least, knew what he meant.
Tohdoh drew back, and in one smooth movement sheathed his sword.
"I didn't want to believe it," he said, his tone softer than before, but still grim. "I didn't want to believe that he was capable of it. I overheard him plotting with Britannians, and convinced myself that it was mere back-room dealing. I saw him order the fleet to Okinawa, to its destruction, and I told myself it was justified, that we could not abandon our men there, or that he was the Prime Minister, and had to be obeyed. I told myself that it was my duty."
He let out a long, slow sigh, so quiet that Lelouch could barely hear it.
"But it wasn't just that," he went on. "I did it because I owed him."
He paused. Lelouch glanced quickly at the Shisei-ken. He got the sneaking suspicion they knew this story too.
"Ten years ago, when I was a young officer, I became involved with a...a movement among my fellow officers. Suffice to say, they were dissatisfied with the way Japan was being governed; indeed, the way it had been governed since the last war, three quarters of a century ago. They believed that the Kyoto Six, through its shadow government, was mismanaging the country and bringing about its decline. They agreed that Japan should lead a regional alliance against the superpowers, but whereas the Kyoto Six used the sakuradite trade to bully other nations, my fellow officers wanted to impress them with military power and soldierly honour."
He paused, as if to invite a question.
"Little did most of us know, the real mastermind of the coup was Daijiro Hyuga, whose family had long coveted power, and the return of the Meiji order. It was General Katase who convinced us of his true intentions, and reminded us of our oaths, of our true convictions. He tried to save us, to save me, from the mistakes we had made. But after the Diet building, after the massacre, my name turned up on too many interrogation reports. I was ruined all the same."
Another pause.
"It was Genbu Kururugi who saved me from that. After he took over as Prime Minister, he stopped the investigation before I could be tried, and then took me on as his son's instructor; asking for me by name. It was that, and only that, that saved my career."
He fell silent. Lelouch glanced at Kallen and Kaguya, both looking at Tohdoh with eyes full of sorrow.
"Such obligations are not denied easily," he said. "But another obligation remains. You cannot undo your mistakes, nor can you save Suzaku from himself. But you can still save Japan. That is what I need you to do, Tohdoh. That is why I need you to accept."
For a while, Tohdoh did not reply, and Lelouch feared he would refuse yet again
"I will accept, Zero, in return for one concession."
"Name it."
Tohdoh looked up, and suddenly his whole demeanour shifted. No longer defeated and drained, but hunched and wrathful, his eyes blazing.
"Why did General Katase have to die?" he demanded, in the old hard voice that Lelouch had known. "Answer me that, Zero. Why was it necessary for him to die?"
The room went as silent as a tomb. Lelouch cleared his throat. It was as he had feared, but there was no getting out of it now.
And, in spite of everything, he found he didn't want to.
"You know as well as anyone, Tohdoh," he replied, calmly.
"He was a good man!" bellowed Tohdoh, eyes full of pain. "A great man!"
"A broken man!" retorted Lelouch. "A man who gave his all for his country, and was rewarded with silence! The silence of a broken nation that wanted only to weep in peace!"
He paused, letting the words sink in.
"You knew it! I knew it! All the JLF knew it! Kusakabe knew it, and it broke his heart enough to turn him into a terrorist!"
"He could have helped!" protested Tohdoh, but Lelouch could spot the denial in his voice, the slow breaking of his conviction.
"You know that he would not have," Lelouch went on, hating himself as he twisted the knife. "He had no time for the likes of us. The moment he took to that ship, there was no saving him. There was no way Cornelia would have let him escape! She even had a submarine out in the bay!"
He glanced at Kaguya and Kallen. He knew Kallen had figured it out for herself. She had seem him after all, sitting on that box in the warehouse, his face concealed by shadow and a towel. She had all but admitted it at the time. And when he saw Kaguya's eyes too, he saw no betrayal there. Was she that devoted, or had she figured it out on her own?
And if she had, who else had?
"All I could gain from that was a chance to kill Cornelia," he went on. 'I regret failing in that. Had we succeeded, then Katase's death would not have been in vain."
He paused, gathering himself. Time for the big finish, and to pray to a god he didn't believe in that it worked.
"It still need not be in vain, Tohdoh. All that he believed in, all the good he ever did, lives on in you. However you think you've failed, however unworthy you believe yourself to be, there is still a chance to set things right. He saw worth in you, and the time has come for you to vindicate him."
For a very long time, there was silence. Tohdoh stood there, staring at him, and Lelouch wondered what a spirit was warring with itself behind those eyes.
"I accept, Zero," he said, after what felt like forever. "I accept this posting, and this responsibility. And I will keep silent about these matters, unless some other should reveal them first. But..."
He thrust out his sword, the fist in which it was clenched aimed straight at Lelouch's heart.
"I swear on this sword, on what remains of my honour. If I believe that you or your Black Knights are a threat to Japan, then I will not rest until you are all destroyed."
Lelouch could not help but shiver, and he saw the others do so.
"I accept your sincerity Kyoshiroh Tohdoh, Tohdoh the Miraculous," he replied, with all the sincerity he could muster. He heard Kaguya let out a sigh of relief, and saw the rest of them relax, the tension finally easing.
"Come then, everyone," he said, raising his tone to match the mood. "Let us get Major General Tohdoh his new tunic. And when we are done there, let us pay a visit to the White Sashes."
He had survived. It had worked.
At least for now.
(X)
Tokorozawa Ghetto
The sun was risen, and he could see clearly.
From atop his Gloucester, Gilbert Guilford could see it all. The great mass of humanity, gathered within the rubble and ruins of Tokorozawa Ghetto. Beyond them, he could see the vision of hell that had once been Tokyo Settlement.
He could hear it too. He could hear the gunfire, the chanting and singing that blended into an incoherent roar, the screams.
The people down there were looking too; back towards the horror that had, a few hours ago, been their home. Their once-fine clothes were torn and stained, their faces blank, eyes empty.
Gilbert felt sick at heart. He didn't care much for the ruined settlement; that great, garish, tasteless monstrosity, sticking out of the land like a dagger's hilt, as if the world somehow needed reminding that Britannia had conquered. But for those people down there, those fearful downtrodden people, it had been their home. Britannia had sent them to these lands, built a city for them, commanded them to build and work and breed, to plant Britannia in these lands that it might always and forever be Britannia.
Britannia had failed them. He had failed them. And now there was nothing to do but save their lives.
He glanced over to where the buses had been parked. They were in remarkably good condition, all things considered. Aside from the odd broken window, and Japanese hinomaru flags hastily painted on their flanks, they had suffered little damage. It mildly surprised him, but he had no time to dwell on it.
They were almost full; the last of those assigned to them climbing on board. These were those too weak to walk; the elderly, young children, or those sick or wounded who did not need to be laid down. Those who did need to be laid down were being loaded onto the trucks, where his medics would care for them as best they could. As soon as he heard back from the vanguard that all was clear, the first buses and trucks would head off along the main road, out onto the old central highway. From there, god willing, it was a straight run to Osaka Settlement; the largest and best-defended of the settlements still known to be holding out. The rest would set out on foot, escorted by his soldiers, and if any buses or trucks could make it back, they would meet up on the road and take more. If not...
He felt his fist clench, as a terrible rage roiled inside him. To think it could have come to this. To think that this was all he could do, to try and rescue a few thousand stragglers, to send them trudging along the open road and hope the natives were too busy to bother with them.
To think he could have fallen so far.
"My lord."
The familiar voice drew him from his darkness. Gilbert looked up, and saw that another Gloucester had drawn up alongside him, its hatch open and pilot standing up. It was Sir Alfred Darlton, one of the five adopted sons of Andreas Darlton who had gone on to form the Glaston Knights. He had blonde hair, a boyish face, and a miserable look.
"Are the refugees ready to move?" he asked, curtly.
"Yes my lord."
"Good. We go as soon as the vanguard calls in."
Leading the vanguard were Sir Bart and Sir David Darlton, two of Sir Alfred's brothers. The five had always fought together, and Gilbert suspected that Sir Alfred was unsettled to be separated from him. He understood, but there was nothing to be done for it. He needed good knights in the vanguard, and he needed good knights here too.
The youth was looking at him, with that pained look.
"Is there something else, Sir Alfred?" He did his best not to snap at the youth, but his dark mood made it difficult.
"My lord, let us go again," Sir Alfred pleaded, eyes bright and desperate. "Once more back again! We can crush them, my lord!"
Gilbert suppressed a sigh. He had to admit, it had been a good raid; a catharsis he had needed after that terrible night. They had destroyed several enemy vehicles, blown up part of their arms dump, and wrought havoc on their position; all while his troops made off with as many buses and trucks as they could make to move. But they could not go again.
"We have not the numbers to crush them decisively," he replied. "Fortune was with us before, but neither Zero, nor Tohdoh, nor even the Red Lotus came out to oppose us. If even one of them were to do so, we might achieve something by killing them, or else suffer far worse than before. If two of them come at us, or all three, then we stand no chance."
He paused, letting the words sink in.
"We can at least save some of these unfortunates. We can at least live, and have a better chance later. While we live, all is not lost."
He looked into Sir Alfred's eyes. The youth looked miserable, but Gilbert could tell that his words had gotten through. There was hope in those eyes, a desperate hope, shining through the pain, clinging to his words.
That, at least, was something he could do. He could give them hope, until he could offer something better. He could give them an excuse not to despair, a reason to keep going a little while longer.
"Is this how it was, Princess?" he silently asked, her image hovering in his mind's eye. "Is this the fate you were born to bear?"
He knew it. She was of the blood royal, born to command. Her fate was to stand on the mountain top, all-powerful and alone, to be the mighty and unchanging rock upon which all others could stand.
And now she was gone, wounded and maybe dying, carried to safety on the Avalon. Her sister was dead, her domain in chaos, and her knights slaughtered and scattered, only a handful remaining. And who could they look to now, if not him?
It was the least he could do. It was all he could do.
Mercifully, his comm earpiece buzzed, drawing him back to reality.
"This is Guilford."
"My lord, Sir David has reported in." It was Claudio, another of the Dalton brothers. "The road is clear as far as Chichibu. Chichibu and Kofu are still in our hands, and the Okaya-Iida route is still open, but they don't know for how much longer."
That was something, at least; and it suggested that his suspicions were right. With Area 11 rising in revolt, and his Black Knights about him at Mount Fuji, Zero had gone for the throat; ordering all available forces to converge on Tokyo. That they had done so by the main transit routes was fortunate, for it left vast swathes of the countryside and ruined cityscape all but unattended.
Places like Chichibu and Kofu, Japanese towns converted into small settlements, were Britannian islands in a roiling, storm-wracked Japanese sea: a sea that might yet rise to swallow them. Best to move now, while there was still time.
"Very good. Lead the convoy to Chichibu, and wait there. I'll follow with the rearguard."
"Yes, my lord."
Gilbert disconnected, and turned his eyes to the buses. A great roar went up as the engines were started, reverberating across the ruins. Gilbert had to force himself not to look around, to glance into the darkness for some sign of the enemy. He could not look nervous, or uncertain, not now.
Claudio's Gloucester pulled out in front, followed by a platoon of seven Sutherlands. The first of the buses fell in behind them, heading between the ruined buildings, onto the road his troops had cleared of rubble.
Gilbert watched them, counting down the minutes as they rolled away, one after another, and another, another. As the trucks began to move after them, he could see his soldiers striding around, ordering the refugees to stand up, to get ready to move. They obeyed without a word, too weary and frightened to cause trouble. They didn't look all that fit, but they were healthy, at least. They should be able to manage the walk to Chichibu; through it was probably longer than they had walked in all their lives.
The alternative was the tender mercies of the natives. And there was little enough of that, from what he'd heard.
Then, and only then, did he allow himself to look away. He stared out towards the see, towards the distant horizon, over which his Princess had disappeared.
"Princess, forgive your incompetent knight. Forgive your worthless servant, who could not save what you left in his care."
His heart felt cold and heavy. He lowered his head, fighting back the tears he had not shed for many years.
"But most of all, Princess. Forgive yourself."
(X)
And it's finally done. A thousand apologies for the long wait.
There were two particularly tricky bits in here. One was the bit with Kallen, and the other with Tohdoh. Both seemed to me to be inevitable confrontations, but how best to handle them? In Kallen's case, it came down to her feeling betrayed, but also the fear that everything she had done, everything she feels, is the result of Lelouch's Geass. Tohdoh was a lot trickier, as I had to delve into his character quite deeply to figure out how he truly feels; and we don't have a lot to go on with canon info. I concluded that he never entirely trusted Zero or even liked him much, but followed him for Japan's sake. On the other hand, he had a job to do when Lelouch ran off to Kaminejima, and he failed. He was left in charge, and while a lot of his troops were being wilfully insubordinate, he was in command and ultimately responsible.
So we have a toxic blend of resentment and suspicion of Zero, wounded pride, and the hard knowledge that he failed. I took a bit of a risk with Tohdoh, because I wasn't quite sure just how much should come out in the confrontation, or whether it should have been just the two of them. I feel I can justify Lelouch dragging up Tohdoh's past, because he needs to get Tohdoh out of his funk and getting him to face up to it is one way to do so. But the really risky bit was Tohdoh confronting him over Katase. In my mind, this was always going to be an issue, as Tohdoh was bound to be suspicious, but stuck with Zero regardless. All in all it comes down to a painful compromise between loyalty and wounded pride on the one hand, and knowing that he can't win without Zero on the other.
I hope you all enjoyed this, and I welcome all critique and comments. Also, I hope everyone is coping well with Covid.