A/N: I'm back! Thank you for continuing to bear with me. Canon may completely suck right now but I hope this chapter provides a much needed escape. Despite this likely being my favorite chapter, I really struggled with this so it is truly a labor of love. This is a Maggie-heavy chapter but I managed to sneak some individual Jackson goodies in there as well. Dreams, memories, and inner thoughts are italicized. Please enjoy! I look forward to reading your reviews.
Chapter 7
In Love With Another Man
The sun was beginning to peek through the upstairs bedrooms of the sister house. Maggie was still in that beautiful restful realm between awake and sleep and she felt an arm wrap around her waist and pull her small body a few inches toward their warm body. She did not bother to open her eyes but she smiled content to be wrapped in his arms. She felt his warm breath as he peppered her exposed skin with kisses.
"Mmm," she sleepily hummed, a smile in her voice.
Seeing her happy always made him happy. He finally made his way up to her ear and kissed the spot just behind her earlobe.
"So what do you want for breakfast?" he asked as his hand reached up her shirt to caress delicious breasts.
"Not hungry for food," she managed to say in between moans. "Want something else…"
"Tell me what you want," he said, kissing her neck as his hand slid past the elastic of her panties to finally pet her beautifully.
"You," she moaned as his fingers began to rub her clit.. "I want you, Jackson. Only you."
"That's more like it," Jackson said as he moved on top of her, his only goal at that moment was to worship her.
"Hmm," Maggie's eyes fluttered open slowly, the alarm on her cell phone sounding loudly. With a frustrated groan, she made her way to the bathroom to do her morning routine. As the warm water sprang from the shower head she thought about the events that took place a few days ago. She had kissed Jackson and she wanted to do more but they were interrupted. Her genius mind tried to work out what that meant exactly and what she was willing to face. She had been wrestling with whether to tell Winston of her indiscretion and if she would be able to deal with the consequences of that conversation. Jackson had consumed her thoughts and her dreams as of late and she figured it was guilt on some subconscious level. But what if it was more? She toweled off, brushed her teeth, and made her way back to her bedroom to get dressed.
Both Amelia and Meredith were working that day and while they had not said anything to her regarding the gala she could feel their stares on her when she walked into the room or when a conversation suddenly went quiet. They wanted to talk about it, but they were simply waiting for her to address it. The sister house was quiet now: the kids were off to school, her sisters, Link and baby Scout were off to begin their day at Grey-Sloan, and Maggie was going to bask in the absolute silence the house currently provided. She needed it. She made her way to the kitchen to cook a quick breakfast and grab a cup of coffee when she was met with Meredith sitting at the dining table. Meredith did not bother to turn around but instead said:
"I poured you a cup," indicating the steaming mug sitting on the table next to her.
"I thought you had to work today," Maggie said as she made her way to the dining table to have a seat. She took a sip of the hot beverage and realized it needed more sugar.
"Yeah, I was supposed to, but I called out sick. Family emergency," Meredith said, finally looking at Maggie.
"Are the kids okay?" Maggie asked in a sudden panic.
"The kids are fine," Meredith reassured. "But my sister, I think my little sister is in a crisis," Meredith said, causing Maggie to take a big inhale and closing her eyes.
"We need to talk about it, Mags. You need to talk about what happened," Meredith said, concerned.
Maggie placed her head in her hands. She did not want to do this today, but how long could she avoid it. This was likely to consume her thoughts and actions for the foreseeable future.
"I'll start," Meredith said, knowing that Maggie likely did not know where to begin. "I went looking for Avery and found you two making out in a patient room…"
"I kissed him," Maggie said quietly. "He was telling me that he was in therapy, that he was finally working on himself. Then he told me that he loved me, Mer. He set me free; told me to go be happy with Winston and that he'd be there if I ever needed him and I got emotional so I kissed him."
"Why did you kiss him though, Maggie? Was it a goodbye kiss because it certainly looked like it was going to be more than that," Meredith said.
"I don't know," Maggie said, shaking her head. "We just got caught in the moment," Maggie said, remembering every syllable of what Jackson said to her. She was his big love and that he was so lucky to have found that again; to have found her. Tears began to sprang from her eyes.
"You know I told you to be sure. I told you that things would be chaotic if you weren't," Meredith said, taking a sip from her own mug. "You gotta figure out what you want. Do you want to be with Winston or do you want to be with Jackson? And don't make the easy decision; make the decision that results in your happiness. Life's too short for bullshit."
This caused Maggie to chuckle, a smile spreading on her face for the first time in days.
"Do you think I should tell Winston about what happened?" Maggie asked.
"I think you should think about it for a few days. Or weeks, hell. If that kiss was truly goodbye or if it's the start of something else between you and Jackson, you need to be certain. Whatever you decide, you know that you won't get any judgement from me or Amelia," Meredith said, making her way to the stove.
"Wha-What are you doing?" Maggie asked. Meredith does not cook and when she does it is usually disastrous.
"I'm setting up for you to cook us breakfast," Meredith chuckled. "I took the day off for you. It's the least you can do."
Shaking her head Maggie made her way to the refrigerator to grab a few items. "How do you feel about eggs Benedict?" she asked.
"Ooh yes, please!" Meredith said in excitement.
"Hey, Mer. Thanks for all of this," Maggie said, setting the items down on the kitchen island.
"What are sisters for?" Meredith asked rhetorically, sarcastically, moving out of Maggie's way so she can create culinary magic.
The sun had long gone down as the automatic doors opened and Jackson exited the hospital building clad in a yellow isolation gown. He could hear the ambulance sirens in the distance getting closer and closer to his location.
About two minutes out, he thought to himself gazing up at the twinkling heavens above. A burst of nostalgia hit as he remembered his days with Fire Station 19 in the back of Ben's PRT; his hands in a patient's abdomen as they sped through downtown Seattle. He remembered the rush it gave him, mostly because it meant he was not at home being consumed by his loneliness. That was then. With therapy, things were different. For a while he thought of it as solitary confinement, until he began to find some joy in the quiet. He knew how much Maggie loved to be alone and he never truly understood it until now. He had taken up an art class, a way to literally keep his hands busy when he was not at work. He would spend hours everyday molding and sculpting bone and flesh and now he had made good use of that talent by transferring his skill to canvases. He had been painting hearts, lately. His current endeavor was an anatomical heart adorned with leaves in the ventricles and branches that mimicked the coronary arteries; a tree of life.
Owen had just emerged from the double doors, tugging on a pair of blue nitrile gloves.
"What do we have, Avery?" Owen asked.
"They said two people were caught in a house fire. I was told to expect second and possible third degree burns."
As Jackson finished his sentence the red ambulance pulled up and the back doors burst open with Ben and his coworker Travis lowering the gurney onto the ground. A woman with several burns on her hands and legs was screaming in pain, as a short man with stocky build was helped out, an oxygen mask held to his face as he apologized profusely.
"I'm so sorry Maddy," Jackson heard him say. I was trying to be romantic. I thought this was what you wanted."
"I didn't want this Steven!" she roared back at him in agony.
Ben finally provided some much needed information. "Guy tried to propose; had the house full of lit candles. Lit candles set fire to the drapes and that's all she wrote. They were trapped for several minutes before we got there. Guy seems fine but he inhaled a lot of smoke."
"Oh wow," Jackson winced at the couple's misfortune. He turned to his resident and gave her further instructions:
"Helm we need to get her to an isolated trauma room and this guy needs a cardiac work-up to determine if his lungs and heart are okay. Page Cardio," he said moving as the gurney was rolled away.
Several minutes later he saw Maggie appear in 'the Pit' checking Steven's vitals as he and Helm debrided and dressed the young woman's burn wounds. He had not seen nor spoken to her since the night of the gala; since his confession, since their kiss. He was not sure if talking to her was appropriate but deduced that she was likely still processing it herself. He knew she would come to him when she was ready.
About an hour later Jackson was standing at the nurse's station in the emergency room going through Madison's chart. Out of the corner of his eye he saw Maggie tentatively approach him. She handed the nurse her tablet and looked awkwardly over at Jackson.
"Hey," she said.
"Hey," he responded, looking up at her from the screen.
"Steven wants to know how Madison is doing," she said. "Any updates?"
"Well, she's got second and third degree burns on her hands and legs. Helm and I were able to debride most of them. We started her on intravenous antibiotics and we're gonna keep her for a few nights to monitor her. She's in good spirits for the most part but she's really pissed off at him," Jackson said, nodding toward Steven still breathing through his oxygen mask.
"Really? Did he start the fire or something?" Maggie asked.
"Sort of," Jackson replied, handing the tablet to the nurse. "He was trying to propose, lit candles and everything. And then those candles nearly killed them."
This caused Maggie to laugh unexpectedly. "Well damn," she said. "Poor guy."
God he loved her laugh.
"Yeah, he was really trying to make it a memorable experience for her. It's abundantly clear that she'll never forget this day for the rest of her life," Jackson said, shaking his head.
"And that is why I will always want something simple. I don't need the glitz and the glam, just something intimate," Maggie said absentmindedly before catching herself.
His gaze got serious suddenly and Maggie noticed. If only they had made it to that waterfall. "Um... If I would have asked you to marry me, would you have said yes?" Jackson blurted out. He knew this was likely to send her running in the opposite direction. She was already processing their kiss. This was the last thing she probably needed, but he needed to know.
After a few beats Maggie swallowed and began to speak. Jackson was sure she was going to excuse herself, fake a page, or say that her patient needed something unnecessary; anything to get away from him. But instead she quietly and delicately answered him.
"Well, I would have been in complete shock for a bit. Probably even ran out of room," she smiled, causing him to chuckle. "But I think after we'd had a long discussion, weighed and measured, I would have accepted. So to answer your question, of course I would have married you, Jackson. Of course."
If they were not surrounded by the busy, complicated flow of the hospital's emergency room, Jackson would have taken her into his arms. It was difficult to not scoop her into his arms, so instead he just nodded and smiled.
Maggie felt ready to talk about the kiss. There was always something comforting about Jackson; when things were chaotic, his presence made things still and quiet. Even now there in the ER, they were in their own bubble.
"Jackson..." Maggie started. "Can we -"
Steven began gasping for air, the monitors that reported his vitals began blaring.
"Dr. Pierce!" Parker yelled as Maggie and Jackson ran to him and sprang into action.
"Did you ensure that there was no airway restriction?" she asked Parker who responded in the affirmative.
"Okay going to increase O2," Maggie said as she increased the air flow to Steven's breathing apparatus. This caused his breathing to level out.
"Parker, get him prepped for an echocardiogram. I'm more than certain that he's had an acute myocardial infarction," Maggie said.
"Infarction?" Steven's muffled voice came from behind the mask. "You mean like a heart attack?!"
"Yes, that's exactly what I mean…" Maggie calmly answered as Parker and an orderly rolled Steven away.
Maggie looked back at Jackson, her face remorseful. She had so much that she wanted to say, finally.
"Jackson, I'm…" Maggie started.
"Come find me later?" Jackson suggested.
"Yeah. I'll see you later," Maggie responded, running off in the direction of her departing resident.
After an hour and confirmation of Steven's heart attack, the orderly rolled Steven's hospital bed into a patient room.
"So it was a heart attack?" Steven asked.
"Yes, I don't know if it was from the smoke inhalation or the overall stress from today, but you did indeed have a heart attack. The good news is that it was somewhat minor as far as heart attacks go, but we're going to keep you here overnight for observation," Maggie said.
Just as she finished her sentence Jackson knocked on the door.
"Um, Madison is requesting, well hoping if she could room with her fiancé," Jackson postulated.
"Fiancé?" Steven said, slowly sitting up.
Maggie nodded as Parker helped Helm wheel Madison into the room.
"So does that mean…?" Steven asked.
"Of course, you idiot. Of course I'll marry you. Just don't scare me like that ever again. And no more damn candles okay?" Madison said as the beds were now mere inches apart.
"Promise!" Steven chuckled tears in his eyes.
Maggie and Jackson witnessing this exchange both smiled simultaneously. If only their complicated love lives were so easily resolved. If only. She turned around and already found him staring at her in that way. She knew she should have avoided his eye contact but she could not look away, so for a beat she allowed herself to get lost in his sapphire gaze. But, was she betraying Winston by doing this?
"Um, I was hoping we could talk," she said, forcing herself to lower her gaze. "If you have the time…"
"Uh, yeah if there are no more proposals gone wrong I'm done for tonight." He chuckled, causing her to smile back at him.
They made their way to Maggie's office and once the door closed Jackson was taken back to that day they performed Whitney's surgery. The day he thought they were going to reconcile. The day he was dreadfully mistaken. Jackson saw the red couch and got caught up in a memory of them; the memory so palpable he could swear he could still taste her smooth brown skin and breathe in her delicate scent. He physically shook his head to literally shake the thought away. He opted not to sit; this was likely not a conversation where one should make themselves comfortable.
Maggie did not sit down either. However, she gave them some space as she frankly could not trust herself around Jackson. She remembered the last time they were here together. His lips on her bare skin, the increase in her heart rate as he descended her body, his tongue laving her neck, her collarbone, her breasts. She had to catch herself once again. She cleared her throat in an attempt to get herself to focus and then she spoke.
"Uh, I wanted to talk about the night of the gala. Our...kiss. Look Jackson, I don't want you to get the wrong impression or anything…"
"...but the kiss meant nothing and we should probably just move on? Right Maggie?" he attempted to finish her sentence.
"No, not exactly," she responded immediately. "I mean, we probably shouldn't have done that. It's my fault. I um- I was proud of you; so happy that you are finally taking the effort to confront yourself and your issues. I just got caught up in the moment and it was unfair to you because I see how hard you're working. I should not have compromised that, when you're making such great progress in your life, so I want to apologize."
Jackson took a deep breath. He knew this conversation would come sooner rather than later and he was prepared for a blow, but he was not prepared for this.
"You have nothing to be sorry for. We both definitely got caught up. I certainly did not want to stop," those cerulean eyes flickered up at her. "Can I ask you something?"
"Uh, sure," Maggie responded, trying to ignore the heat that was currently washing over her body.
"Do you regret it? The kiss." Jackson asked, taking a few steps toward her.
"No," Maggie shook her head. Honesty. That was what she owed him. What she owed herself. "I don't regret it, but it can't happen again. It can't happen while I'm with Winston."
"I understand," Jackson said. After all, this was what their conversation that night there in the hospital was about. He had to be ready to let her go if that was what she wanted. "Just know that I'm here for you, Maggie. As a friend if you'll have me. I can't imagine not having you in my life. I can't imagine us not being able to talk. I'll always be here for you. Even when you hate me," he chuckled.
"Always?" Maggie asked, tears threatening to stream out of her eyes.
"Always," Jackson said, approaching her. He invaded her space. He knew what a hug might lead to so he lowered his head and pressed his lips to her cool forehead, sending a wave of warmth and tenderness from her third-eye to her soul.
The moment was interrupted when they both heard a brief knock on the door and the creaking sound it made when it opened.
"Hey babe, you ready to-" Winston paused taking in what he was seeing. Jackson was mere centimeters away from his girlfriend and if Maggie was not his girlfriend he would have sworn that he had just interrupted an intimate moment between two lovers. His brow furrowed and his head cocked to the side as he tried his best to remain calm.
"Uh, I'll see you later, "Jackson said to Maggie and then made his way out of the door.
"Night," he nodded at Winston who was only looking at Maggie.
When the door had shut he finally spoke:
"So you want to tell me what the hell is going on here?" Winston asked incredulously. That smug, rich jackass was far too close to Maggie and it took everything in him not to put his hands on his boss's son as he passed him less than two minutes ago.
"We- we were talking about some things," Maggie answered. Honesty. It was good for both of them. "Our relationship, our… friendship."
"Okay," Winston said as calmly as he could. "And what did you decide?"
"That we'd stay friends," Maggie said. " But um… look I need to tell you something Winston. Something about me and Jackson. I hate when people don't tell me things and it's not fair that I keep this from you any longer."
"What is it?" Winston asked.
"Um, the night of the fundraising gala, after Jackson and I ran to take care of our UP3 patient, we ended up in a patient's room to have a conversation. He told me that he was working on himself. Getting his life together and I was so happy for him.."
"Just say it," Winston said, his voice showing no emotion but his patience was obviously wearing thin.
"I kissed him. I shouldn't have done it and it won't happen again, but I needed to tell you. You needed to know the truth," Maggie said delicately.
Winston took a deep breath and then shook his head. "I can't-I can't do this right now," he said, throwing his hands up in defeat.
"Winston-" Maggie began.
"No Maggie! Just no!" he practically yelled, startling her. He then turned to leave the office slamming the door behind him.
Maggie stood in front of her dry erase board scribbling down notes and haphazardly drawing wireless coplanar energy transfer diagrams. Her transcutaneous rechargeable LVADs research was coming along steadily and in the last few days she had immersed herself completely in her work. Winston had not called or texted her in days and she was not sure if she should communicate first. She understood him needing time to calm down before talking as that was something she requested from Jackson after their ill-fated camping trip. When she was not in her office doing paperwork or in the OR with her hands deep in someone's chest cavity, she was in her laboratory advancing the science of cardiology. If this was the end for her and Winston, she was certain that she would find out soon enough. As she scribbled down a potential protocol for the next phase of her research in her lab notebook, Winston slowly entered.
"Hey," he said awkwardly.
"Hey," Maggie responded.
They stood in silence for a beat before Winston finally broke the uncomfortable tension in the room.
"Uh… channeling a mad scientist today?" he asked, gesturing to the scribbling covering the whiteboard.
"Oh um… just got an idea and kinda went crazy with it," Maggie said, putting down the pen and stepping away from her work. "How are you doing?"
"Um, okay I guess. Dr. Fox wants my recommendations for a new approach in our cancer study by the end of week but, okay," Winston said. "Listen Maggie, I want to apologize for blowing up the other night..."
"...you don't have to apologize for anything. I mean this whole thing is my fault," Maggie interjected.
"Right…" Winston said. "Look I'm still very mad about all of this and if I'm being honest, I think I might hate that guy," Winston said, referring to Jackson. "But I know that he's an important person to you for whatever reason, not to mention, he's my boss's son, so because of that I can at least tolerate him. I have to tolerate him because I don't want what we have to end, Maggie."
Maggie nodded, not knowing exactly what to say.
"So I suggest we try to get past this and who knows maybe one day Jackson and I could be friends," he chuckled, causing Maggie to smile.
"I wanted to tell you this the other night: I want to take you out for your birthday next week, take you to that new French restaurant and because of your deep love for museums maybe we can check out Chihuly Garden and Glass. What do you say? Will you let me wine and dine you Maggie Pierce?" he said walking toward her to take her hands in his.
"Uh, sure. I'd love to," Maggie said, wrapping her arms around his neck. Despite the smile she was currently wearing on her face, deep down there was something still there. Uneasiness. The same thing she felt when Winston first showed up in Seattle unannounced and then again when he wanted to practically go public at the fundraising gala. While she had betrayed Winston's trust, there was relief in him finding out the truth. Was this out of obligation or was this something she truly wanted?
After a long day of board meetings, Jackson was sitting in the lobby of Dr. Abram's office scrolling through and answering a list of emails. A new Fox foundation hospital was opening in New Orleans and he wanted to be involved in its inception. Dr. Abram was finishing with a patient as she guided the young woman out to the reception area to set up another appointment. When she came out to the waiting area to retrieve Jackson a smile spread on her face.
"Dr. Avery! How are you doing today?" Dr. Abram greeted.
"I'm okay," Jackson replied.
"I'm ready when you are," Dr. Abram said as she gestured toward the office.
When they entered Jackson, now familiar with the layout of the office, sat down on the white sofa and wondered how she managed to keep it so clean. While taking a glance around the office he noticed two chairs facing each other a few feet away. The selenite bowl on the coffee table had a few new crystals. One with green and white striations got Jackson's attention. He picked it up and made a note to ask about it later. On a deep inhale he got a whiff of a citrus-like perfume but he could not decipher which essential oil was emanating from the nearby diffuser.
"Bergamot," Dr. Abram answered his unasked question as she closed the door and took her seat across from him. She grabbed her legal pad and noticed that Jackson had been fidgeting with one of the crystals.
"That's tree agate," she said. "It helps you to look deep inside for self-examination and its color has been associated with a deep connection to nature. It's kind of interesting that you felt a connection to that one, seeing as nature is your escape. You can hold on to that if you want."
"Thank you," Jackson said, palming the stone.
"So some housekeeping," Dr. Abram started. "Last time you were here we talked about your role in your ex-girlfriend's life and you had stated that you were willing to step aside to let her be happy and she kissed you. What is going on there? I remember you being a bit confused.
"Well, we talked about it and I told her that as long as she needed me as a friend, I'd be there for her," Jackson responded. " I just want to continue making myself better, for the women in my life, but more importantly for me. I feel like therapy is really helping."
"I'm so glad to hear that, Jackson," Dr. Abram replied. "Today if it's okay with you, I want to speak about your dad."
At the mere mention of his father Jackson's shoulders tensed up and he gripped the stone in his hand tighter. He knew this would come up in therapy but he simply dreaded it. Dr. Abram sensed his agitation with the proposed subject. She advised him to take several breaths and encouraged him to try these meditative techniques when he felt tense outside of her office. She equated it to the peace he gets when he is out camping and it suddenly made sense to him.
"Now we're going to try an exercise known as 'empty chair'," Dr. Abram began, pointing over to the set of chairs facing each other. "You're going to sit here and you're going to talk to your father as if he was sitting right here in the room. I want you to say whatever you are feeling and whatever you want or need your father to know, okay?"
Jackson nodded as he made his way over to the chair and sat down. He stared at the empty chair as this was awkward at best.
"I know this might seem strange but it might help to imagine your dad sitting right there," Dr. Abram inserted.
He took several deep breaths, mentally willing Robert's corporeal form into the chair in front of him.
"Okay...um," he nervously licked his lips, feeling every bit of awkwardness at talking to an empty chair. With an embarrassed laugh he instantly made the decision to push through.
"Uh- there's a lot of anger I associate with you." He cleared his throat as he self-consciously looked over at Dr. Abram. She could see him struggling and gave him a supportive, encouraging nod to continue.
"So much anger! You left your father's foundation because you simply couldn't hack it and ignored all your responsibilities including mom." Allowing himself to feel that anger he ran a hand over his face, feeling a tightness in his chest.
"You left mom. You left me," Jackson whispered that last sentence as he brought his hand up pinching the bridge of his nose. Unable to keep sitting, he stood up and began to pace around the room.
"YOU. LEFT. ME!" he pronounced more vehemently; each of his words an accusation and a release for all the years he has restricted himself from feeling this. No more placing his feelings in a box and packing it away. No more. Jackson could feel tears stinging his eyes.
"I mean who does that? Who abandons their child?" he continued to pace, the empty chair now forgotten.
"From the moment Harriet was born I knew that I wouldn't leave her. I couldn't! She was so small and so precious and I made a promise that she was going to have a loving father in her life. Something you denied me and I simply refuse to be you. The last time I saw you I thought I was over it. That I got what I needed to finally move on with my life. To finally be present for the people that I love only to have been wrong. You leaving us messed me up! It messed me up so badly that I can't maintain proper relationships. I'm always running before it hurts me. I'm always abandoning the ones I love before they can abandon me. I'm always looking for comfort in something else because I never had that reassurance from you!"
He took several deep breaths before he spoke calmly, "Mom did her best. Hell, she probably had to over parent, but dammit she did her best. I know she was protecting me; a black kid growing up in a white, rich family. She had to take up the legacy, what should have been yours, for me, so that I could be great, he said above a whisper as he found the chair once more and sat down.
"I will be better than you, because she and the amazing people in my life made me great!"
Jackson wept as the cathartic moment washed over him. His resolve to get help with his issues was reinforced at that moment. He would continue down this path because it meant being a better man, a man far better than his father ever could be.
Evening was approaching as the sun began to set bathing the metropolitan area in a soft violet. Maggie was sitting at her vanity applying eyeliner when she heard the doorbell ring. It was too early to be Winston so she deduced it was likely Deluca or Hayes stopping by. Within minutes Amelia entered the bedroom with an enormous beribboned, viridescent basket filled with goodies.
"I got extravagant presents for the birthday girl, Amelia said as she placed the basket down on the bed. Um… hold on there's more," she said as she ran out of the room.
"More?" Maggie asked as she made her way to the bed to get a good look of her ridiculously ostentatious gift. In the basket she spotted four bottles of her favorite red wine, several varieties of her favorite cheeses: dill Havarti, Swiss, a delightful Brie only found in France, and a Camembert among many others. Accompanying the delectable arrangement was an assortment of crackers and jams. She noticed a hunter green velvet jewelry box with gold trimming. She opened and saw a sterling silver bangle bracelet. The piece was engraved with beautiful etchings all around and at each end was a pale yellowish-orange gem framed with sparkling, round diamonds. It was beyond gorgeous and beyond expensive. Who would send her such a thing? She noticed the card in a jade colored envelope. On it read:
A few of your favorite things on your birthday.
-Jackson
P.S. Citrine is November's birthstone and according to my therapist it's good for manifesting abundance and prosperity as well as for increasing creativity. I know your genius brain doesn't need magical rocks to innovate but I think it'd look beautiful on you just the same. Happy Birthday, Maggie.
Amelia had finally returned to the bedroom carrying an equally extravagant floral arrangement. Maggie was able to identify several flowers of red and orange hues. She was able to recognize elegant calla lilies, roses, tulips, and orchids. It was beyond gorgeous and despite her penchant to prefer small and intimate she had no issues with the bouquet's flamboyance. It was very Jackson Avery.
"Wow, this is amazing," Amelia commented, setting the flowers on a nearby dresser. "Did Winston do all of this? He's really doing the absolute most tonight isn't he?"
"These aren't from Winston," she looked at Amelia.
"Well who...oh my god...Jackson?" Amelia deciphered from the look on Maggie's face. "Maggie, this is romantic as hell."
"Romantic?" Maggie asked, her face somewhat contorted in confusion.
"Look I wish my exes sent me 'fuck me' gifts for my birthday," Amelia answered. "If you weren't already in a relationship, I'd tell you to jump on that. He really thought of everything; all of your favorite things kicked up several notches."
"Fuck me gifts? Okay I'm not sure I want to have this conversation," Maggie said laughing as she gestured her out of the door. "I have to finish getting ready."
"Okay, Amelia said. "I'm just gonna remind Link that my birthday is in a few months…"
Half an hour had gone by before the doorbell rang again. This time Maggie knew exactly who it was as she descended the staircase. Winston was in the foyer chatting with Amelia. She got a peek of a white buttoned shirt and black slacks under this black pea coat. Within the last week, the weather went from cool and rainy to frigid. In his gloved hands, he held a bouquet of multicolored roses. Winston saw her emerge out of the corner of his eye and looked up at her smiling that signature toothy smile.
"Wow, you look gorgeous, babe," he said as he spied her black turtle-neck sweater dress that clung to her curves beautifully. She had adorned it with boots and opted to wear gold jewelry to complete the look.
"Thank you," Maggie said as she embraced him, their lips meeting briefly.
"Happy birthday beautiful," Winston presented a small jewelry box in a flourish and handed it to her.
Upon opening it Maggie saw a diamond pendant necklace suspended from a yellow gold link chain.
"Oh wow. Thank you so much," Maggie said, kissing his lips once more.
Winston removed the necklace from the box as Maggie turned around for him to fasten the clasp.
Amelia witnessing the exchange spoke absentmindedly, "Well, you're just getting all the jewelry, huh? I'll put those flowers in a vase." She took the flowers and made her way to the kitchen. "Have fun you two."
"All the jewelry? What does that mean?" Winston asked, curious and annoyed by Maggie's sister's vagueness.
"Oh it's nothing," Maggie said nervously, waving off his question as she grabbed her coat. "You ready to go?"
As they were making their way to the restaurant, an R&B song from the 90s started to play on the radio and Maggie was taken back to a similar memory:
"Yeah. I still can't believe that you finally agreed. This all feels like a dream," she heard him say. She could tell that he was over the moon about her agreeing to this date. And on some level, she had to admit to herself that she was too.
"So, does that make me your dream girl?" Maggie asked, as her hand tentatively reached over to his lacing their fingers together. Jackson had always made her so nervous that she was often concerned about losing her focus, but today she chose to relinquish some of her nervousness and just enjoy being with him in the moment.
He laughed, his smile reaching his eyes. He shook his head probably amused by her awkward humor. It was hard to tell in the dark car, but she could have sworn that he blushed as he guided her hand up to his lips, kissing it and then replying "Yeah. You're definitely my dream girl." This of course caused her heart to flutter.
The radio began to play an old song and Maggie turned it up so that the euphonic sounds could fill the air.
Sometimes it's soft as a misting rain
That gently touches my soul
It cools the fire that burns in me
And I simply lose control
The song played as she watched Jackson balance between focusing his gaze on the road and at her. He had never looked at her this way before they developed romantic feelings for one another and now he always did. Those cobalt-colored eyes of his now carried something else. That something had now quickened her heartbeat, shortened her breath, and sent waves of pleasure throughout her body. They had not had sex yet, but she knew when the time came, it would be much of those sensations only heightened. Her grip on his hand tightened as the fantasy played out in her head.
So just
Rain down (on) on me
Let your love just fall like rain drops
Rain on me
Just
Rain down (on) on me
Let your love just shower me
Just rain on me
He turned his head to look at her and she knew he could tell exactly what she wanted. They finally made it as he parallel parked a block away from the restaurant. Jackson leaned over the console and she instinctively met him half way, their lips finding each other like magnets. Their passion ignited the electricity in the air as she cupped his face and pulled him closer. Jackson let out an exhale that sounded like a moan as his tongue entered her mouth. His hands were preoccupied as he caressed her thighs moving slowly up the growing warmth between her legs. Maggie moaned as his hand gripped and she sucked on his bottom lip, her sex now pulsating. She had wanted to kiss him like this earlier when he showed up looking fine as fuck at her front door. How easy would it be for them sneak into the backseat and fuck him silly. If only sex in motor vehicles were her thing. Jackson had finally come up for air, his forehead still touching hers.
Full as a dam at capacity
My passion's about to explode, yeah
I can't escape, it's surrounding me
I'm caught in a storm
That I don't need no shelter from
"Um...we should uh," he kissed and nibbled on her delectable lips. She never wanted him to stop as she responded with a series of her own kisses. "Head on in. I promise the food is to die for."
She had a different type of appetite only Jackson could sate, but she needed to put that aside for now. He had planned their entire night and she truly wanted to see what he had planned for them.
"Okay," she sighed as she lowered the visor mirror to check her makeup. Thank god she wore no-smear lipstick. She knew her night would likely go just like this.
"Okay," he responded before he moved his hand to her chin and guided her face back to his so he could kiss her just one more time.
Rain down (on) on me
Let your love just fall like rain drops
Rain on me
Just
Rain down (on) on me
Let your love just shower me
Just rain on me
"Babe?" Winston said. "Babe?"
"Hmm?" Maggie responded seemingly being jolted back to reality. "You said something?"
"I asked if the temperature was okay. Not too cold?" Winston asked, making a move to turn the knob on the heater up..
"Oh no, it's fine. The temperature is perfect," Maggie said, her body still reeling from the memory. She glanced out of the window and focused her attention on the buildings as they passed through the damp metropolis.
Three courses and several glasses of wine later, Winston was currently enthralled as Maggie told him about how she almost quit her job at Grey-Sloan after only working there for several weeks.
"She was insufferable!" Maggie exclaimed, referring to Meredith. "But you know that's Mer. Considering what I know about her now, I guess I get it. She'd probably had enough secret sisters to last a lifetime."
"I'm almost sad that you didn't follow through," Winston said. "I would have loved to have had you return to Boston. Who knows where we'd be now."
Maggie knew. She would probably be married to him and always wondering who she was. She had come to appreciate the people in her life, even more so since the loss of her mother. Her need to solve her own puzzle led her to Meredith and Amelia. It led her to Richard. It led her to Jackson. If she had to do it over again, she knew she would have still done it just this way.
"Um...so this museum," she quickly changed the subject. "You ready to walk all this food off?" she chuckled. Her previous uneasiness had suddenly morphed into increasing discomfort. While her body was present, her mind had been elsewhere all night and she was not sure if Winston had noticed and was simply pushing it along as best as he could.
When they arrived at the museum, a smile spread on Maggie's face. She had not been here in over two years and the first time (in much warmer temperatures) was simply magical.
Hand in hand they entered a room where large glass art shaped like conch shells were displayed on pedestals. Beams under the pedestals of light casted patterns refracted from the glass shells all around the room. Maggie's eyes twinkled as she viewed the variegated display. They moved through the museum and saw enormous canvased artwork of the many glass exhibits throughout the facility. Maggie stopped and raised her head as the canvases went all the way up to the ceiling. She could feel Jackson move behind her as he pulled her into his arms wrapping them snugly around her midsection. He moved her curly tresses to the side so that he could get more access to her neck and he delivered a series of wet smooches. When he finally looked up at the artwork he pointed to the one he liked.
"I'm pretty sure if you wanted, you could buy that one," she chuckled, enjoying the sensation of his lips on her neck.
"Maybe, but it'd only be the second best work of art in my apartment when you're there…" he said, then squinted as soon as the words came out. "Too corny?"
"Oh yeah," Maggie laughed. "Just a bit."
"Okay, come on, dream girl," he said as he laced their fingers and pulled her gently to the next exhibit. They had gazed upon the patterned fabric exhibit in the Northwest Room, a hall with glass artwork displayed on the ceiling above. Maggie was sure that was what it felt like being inside a kaleidoscope.
About an hour later, the couple found themselves walking through the gardens located just under the Space Needle. Maggie was in awe of the glass statues and Jackson was in awe of Maggie.
"Jackson, this is all so beautiful. I've been here for four years and have yet to experience the true beauty of Seattle. Thank you for giving this to me," Maggie said starry eyed.
"No problem," Jackson answered, cupping her face and pressing his lips to hers. "If you want to hit up all the museums, I'm your guy. Who knows maybe one day we can bring Harriet along."
Maggie's eyes got as wide as saucers and Jackson noticed her reaction.
"Did I say something wrong?" he said, suddenly concerned.
"Oh no. No. It's just. I wasn't sure how you'd feel about me getting to know Harriet," Maggie said flustered. "That's such a big step."
"Yes it is," Jackson agreed. "Something to look forward to. I know she'd love you. How could she not? But we'll only take that step whenever you're ready Maggie."
"I appreciate that," Maggie said, returning a kiss.
"So have you seen this?" Jackson said pointing at a building one would liken to a glass oblong dome.
From the large windows she could make out another glass display hanging from the ceiling. When they finally entered the hall Maggie was mesmerized. She saw what she would equate to a gargantuan chandelier. There, floating above them, was a glass sculpture made up of a warm palette of yellows, oranges, reds, and amber that displayed pristine pulchritude.
"So this is the glasshouse," Jackson said. "According to the curator one's perception of this piece changes as its look tends to vary in natural light. So it'll look completely different in the daylight. I've been to a few hoity- toity functions here. Some fundraising galas. Some weddings. It's really beautiful, don't you think. Getting married here?"
"Uh, yeah I imagine so," Maggie said, getting lost in the ornate design above them. "It'd be the perfect place actually," she said briefly, imagining herself in a white dress walking toward Jackson before she quickly shook away the thought.
"Only when you're ready…" he said as he grabbed her hand, practically beaming.
Maggie and Winston exited the building and walked into the garden area. Winston could tell that something was bothering Maggie. Every time he attempted to get close tonight, she would brush him off. He did not want to ruin her birthday so he decided to hold off on that conversation. It was her day to celebrate.
"This is all so beautiful. It's like some enchanted wonderland," he said, taking in his surroundings. "I read that the artist started making art for botanical gardens back in the 70s? I think his first exhibition was in Milwaukee."
"No, it was Chicago," Maggie said, correcting him. She had remembered Jackson had mentioned that in between kisses as they explored the museum's artistry. "Did my research…"
"Hmm, he answered. I think you're right. Must have mixed it up with something else," he chuckled.
They walked to the sculpture that mimicked a big bright sun, blown yellow glass spouting from a yellow orb in a tentacular fashion, imitating warm sun rays. "Hey, can I talk to you about something?"
"Uh...sure," Maggie said, gesturing to the metal bench and then taking a seat.
"So I'm sure you're aware of this, but my research is coming to an end. We've written the manuscript and Dr. Fox and I can most definitely continue this study bicoastally. However, she's offered me a job here, as an attending in the Urology department. I know how you hate surprises so I wanted to talk to you about it. I could permanently move here and it'll cement what we have. We can continue this…" he said, grabbing her gloved hand. "I love you, Maggie Pierce and I just want this to work."
Maggie looked down at their joined hands as she heard Winston's words and she knew this was something she did not want. She looked up at him and she saw his facial expression move from intense to annoyed disbelief.
"Wow," he said, shaking his head slowly. "This is-This is not something you want." He took a deep inhale and let go of her hand. I wish you would have said something earlier. You've been weird all night."
"I didn't know earlier," Maggie attempted to explain. "Well I wouldn't admit it to myself earlier. I'm so sorry Winston. I truly am. I never wanted to lead you on. I never wanted to hurt you."
"It's him isn't it?" he asked, looking off. "I never fully had a grip on you because you were still holding on to him. And you just refused to completely let him go!"
Maggie heard him take another deep breath to calm himself. She looked straight ahead at a blown glass lily pad display off in the one section of the garden. In the course of eight months she had been so adamant about leaving her relationship with Jackson behind, to almost losing him, to falling back into love with him. Winston's presence only brought her confusion. Confusion about what she really wanted. She was constantly running. Running from her true feelings, running away from the love that sparked light, the love that challenged her, the love that would always uplift her and inspire her to be the better version of herself.
"I've done a lot of running. A lot of denying and I just can't do it anymore. Life's too short for bullshit," she echoed Meredith's words.
"So you're going to go back to the man that hurt you? The man who abandoned you on the side of the road?!"
"I don't know what I'm going to do. I just know that it wouldn't be fair to you. It wouldn't be fair to have you take this job and relocate permanently for a woman who doesn't love you. You're a good man and you deserve someone who can love you equally."
Winston rose from his seat still shaking his head incredulously. "I'm going to leave. I need to leave. As much as I'd like to be the bigger person and get you home, I can't do that Maggie. I can't be near you right now."
Maggie nodded. "I understand. I'll uh-just get a Lyft home. I'll be okay."
"I know you will. Happy Birthday, Maggie," Winston said, his voice beginning to crack with emotion. He quickly turned around at a quickened pace, walked away from her. Exiting the museum; exiting her life.
Maggie, still sitting on the bench exhaled deeply in… relief. Tears began to fall down her face as she sobbed uncontrollably. It was as if a dam broke, flooding her with emotion. She was going to trust her heart fully which meant facing her fears and jumping completely into the unknown. There was no turning back now.
"Chile, hand me that large pot over there," Catherine said pointing over the far right cabinet as she stood over the stove sautéing ground sausage to add to her stuffing.
"Here you go, Ma," Jackson said, sitting the pot down on the counter. "You know we could have had Thanksgiving catered like we always do. What inspired all of this?" he asked, looking around the kitchen at all the finished dishes.
"Oh, something I wanted to do for Richard. He mentioned something his family used to do years ago and I wanted to try to recreate that for him," she answered smiling. "I may be a very busy woman but I am still a Rockstar in the kitchen."
"Ma, thank you," Jackson said, causing Catherine to turn around to look at him.
"For what baby?" She was curious… and concerned.
"For being my mom; for being ridiculously overprotective, for making sure I knew how to navigate a world that was never meant for me. For doing this whole damn thing, raising me and molding an empire, by yourself. I just wanted to know that I appreciate you," Jackson said.
Catherine moved from the stove to wrap her arms around her son in a tight hug.
"Okay help me move all this into the dining room," Catherine said.
"Sure thing." Jackson smiled, gathering a few dishes and exiting the kitchen.
Across town at the sister house, Maggie had just removed a turkey from the oven as Meredith entered the kitchen after having chased down Bailey who had casually stolen an apple pie.
"Did you get it?" Maggie asked. "All of it?"
"Nope, he managed to eat a handful before I found him. It still looks salvageable," Meredith said, placing it down on the counter. "It's never a normal day in the Pierce-Grey-Shepherd house if Bailey isn't swiping someone else's food.
"Kid might be an actual menace," Amelia said as she chopped an array of vegetables. "He reminds me so much of Derek."
"All I have left is the stuffing and the mashed potatoes and everything will be done for you all," Maggie said checking off her list.
"Wait, you aren't hanging around for dinner?" Amelia asked.
"No, I have an idea for my rechargeable hearts and I want to go in and work on that. Maybe help out in the Pit. You know how chaotic shit is on Thanksgiving," Maggie said, placing chopped potatoes in a pot before covering it with water.
"But you aren't on call," Amelia said. Maggie had been burying herself in her work in the days since she ended things with Winston. Amelia was hoping that the holiday would force her to rest.
"Just let her have this," Meredith said to Amelia. "We'll leave you a plate in the fridge when you get back. Oh, and tell us if any particularly gnarly cases come in. I'm partial to the fried-turkey disasters."
Both Maggie and Amelia stared at Meredith for a beat.
"What?" Meredith said, chuckling.
"And we wonder why Bailey is so strange," Amelia said, causing Maggie to laugh.
"Auntie Maggie! Auntie Maggie!"
Maggie was awakened by the sounds of Bailey and Ellis at the foot of her bed, both of them so excited they were fit to burst.
"What- What's going on?" Maggie sat up rubbing her eyes. "What's the hubbub?"
"Look, Auntie Maggie. It's snowing," Ellis said, jumping up and down!
Maggie got out of bed and walked over to her window and opened the curtain. As far as her eye could see, the neighborhood was blanketed in an icy tundra.
"So it is…" Maggie said.
"Can we go out and play, Auntie Maggie?" Bailey asked.
"Please?!" the siblings said in unison.
"Sure, okay… after breakfast," Maggie said, ushering them out of the room. "Pancakes? Go ask Zola if she's okay with that. I'll be downstairs in fifteen minutes."
Maggie walked to the bathroom to start a sped up version of her morning routine. Meredith was working today so it was just going to be her and Amelia with the kids. As she splashed water on face she was consumed with a memory of the previous year's first snow.
"Daddy, Maggie! Wake up, it's snowing! It's snowing!" Maggie could hear Harriet shouting.
She sat up from the bed she shared with Jackson and saw soft, powdery granules of snow falling from the sky. Viewing this phenomenon from the expansive windows of Jackson's penthouse was amazing. Snow began to coat the balcony creating a picturesque scene of an urban winter. Maggie looked over and noticed that Jackson was slow to move.
"Wake up, babe. This is truly a beautiful sight," she said, tickling his bare stomach.
He flinched a bit at the sensation, smiled sleepily, and finally sat up to get a view of what had the women in his life so mesmerized.
"Oh wow, yeah… this is kinda beautiful," he said out loud before whispering to his girlfriend "Not as beautiful as that face you make when you-"
"Down boy," Maggie whispered back, causing him to chuckle before kissing her neck. Jackson picked up Harriet and sat her between him and Maggie as the three of them watched as the snow blanketed their city.
"We should take Harriet to Mer's later," Maggie said to Jackson. "Give her a proper backyard to play in. What do you say, Miss Harriet?"
"And me and Ellis can build a snowman?" Harriet asked, excited.
"Of course. Just like Elsa," Maggie responded, kissing her hair.
Maggie finally made it downstairs and found Amelia pouring two cups of fresh coffee. She handed Maggie a mug and asked.
"Morning. How are you doing? I know you've been a little quiet lately, since…"
"... since I broke up with someone who was probably a sure thing for someone who could hurt me again?" Maggie finished walking to the cabinets to pull out the griddle.
"Yeah… that," Amelia responded, gathering the other ingredients.
"Would you have been happy with Winston, Maggie? I mean truly happy," Amelia inquired.
"No," Maggie said simply. "He was perfect on paper, but I don't think I would have truly gotten over Jackson. Winston deserves a woman who can fully commit to him. Someone who can love him genuinely, like I love Jackson," Maggie responded.
"So are you going to tell Jackson?" Amelia asked.
"I don't know," Maggie said "I don't know if it's appropriate."
"Appropriate? I spoke to Meredith and she's right. Maggie, don't stop yourself from being happy. If Jackson is who you truly want, and I know you want that. I've known that for a very long time. It's time to tell him. It's time to live your life to the fullest. You don't want to regret not doing this," Amelia postulated.
Maggie nodded as she cracked a handful of eggs to the bowl of ingredients and began to mix them. She knew what she had to do.
Stacks of pancakes and tons of snow later, Maggie found herself outside in the backyard watching her sister's children play. Ellis and Zola were currently lying in the snow creating the perfect snow angels and Bailey, who had built a fort, was making a stockpile of snowballs. She shook her head at the chaos that was about to ensue and thought of one day doing this with Jackson. Them sitting outside in the backyard as their kids threw snowballs at each other. She dreamed about a little boy laughing as he threw several snowballs at his sisters, their curly hair spilling from wool-knit beanies. She could see Harriet returning fire as the yard was enveloped in laughter. One day, perhaps.
Maggie then made up her mind. She walked inside to find Amelia nursing Scout and watching the weather channel.
"Hey you know the weather's going to drop even more overnight, some blizzard rolling in," Amelia said as she laid the sleeping baby into the bassinet on the floor. "You okay?"
Maggie had that look in her eyes; that look right before she said or did something that was genius level; some way to save a patient or come up with a new, innovative protocol.
"Um, are you okay to watch the kids?" Maggie asked.
"Yeah, Link is on his way home now. I'll be fine alone for a few minutes," Amelia smiled, proud of her sister's resolve to finally find her happiness.
"Okay," she nodded. "I'm pretty sure Bailey's about to start a snowball fight…"
"I'll hold him off until Link gets here…Go!" Amelia said, shooing her out of the door.
The sun was setting over the gray city as the wind began to pick up. Jackson, who had returned home a few hours earlier, had stocked his pantry with food. He had heard about the approaching blizzard and if he was going to be stuck at home alone, he wanted to at least have a few of his favorite things. An hour later, he was stretched out on his sofa with a glass of scotch in hand; his legal pad was full of surgical notes as he finally closed the medical textbook on his coffee table. He closed the presentation program on his computer and decided to get in an hour of Mortal Kombat II on his SNES emulator before tuning into the local sports channel. Just as he was about to plug in the USB style controller, he heard a knock on the door. The cadence at which the visitor knocked had alarmed him and he nearly ran to the door. He opened the door and saw her standing there bundled up in a puffer jacket, a Yale School of Medicine sweatshirt underneath. It was snowing significantly outside and Jackson was confused as to what brought Maggie to his front door step. It must have been important.
"Maggie? Is everything okay?" he asked in a panic. "Are you okay?"
She did not say anything but the look on her face told him that she was a woman on a mission and he waited until she was ready to speak. Her eyes were trained on him. She was saying so much but had not yet spoken a word.
She gingerly took a few steps toward the door's threshold. And took a deep breath before saying:
"Always?" she asked, staring him in the eyes returning that love that always reflected in his eyes. That love she was always afraid of. That love that she was going to start trusting in. That love that would last a lifetime.
"Always," he responded, stepping to the threshold of the apartment door invading her space. He looked down at her, taking in her beautiful face. This woman. The one would disarm him with one look. The one who inspired him. His eyes locked in telling her that he loved her and he could finally see that hers responded to the same message. Her hands reached up to cup his face as he leaned down to her level as she stood on her toes to meet him and pressed his lips to hers.
Maggie melted into his embrace as Jackson grabbed her hips and pulled her to him as she deepened the kiss. She suddenly felt her feet leave the floor as he picked her up, breaking the kiss only for a moment. She smiled as she wrapped her legs around his waist, her lips crashing into his passionately, deeply, lovingly. Maggie then heard the sound of the door shutting as Jackson carried her further into the penthouse.
All medical jargon/terms have been sourced from medical journals/websites.
Song lyrics: 'Rain' by SWV
***Please be reminded that this is a work of fiction. I am not a therapist. I cannot offer any advice. Please seek out a professional.***