Everybody was scared. Nobody had seen Dumblydore for a day, and everybody were panicking!

"Where is dumblydore?" said one extra.

"Where isz he?" said another extra.

"I feel scared now bcuz he's not here to make me feel safe" said Neville all stupidly.

"Hey, now, we the Professors feel that we are still able to fight for the sake of the students" Snape and the other professors said.

"Yes, don't feel scared, feel relief now that we are here to protect you" Flitwick said.

The students stared at Flitwick.

"No, it was definitely that other thing I said." all the students nodded.

"Seriously" Fletcher said annoyed. "you take over, snake"

"you mean Snape right" Extra-chan-san-senpai said like a know-it-all.

"I know what I said" Flitwick said.

"But isn't that weird cuz you said-"

"detention for a year? Sounds fine by me!" fletcher said. Nobody said anything.

"…effective medianly" Flipflop said. Two extras took extra-chan-san-senpai to the dungeons. Everyone sighed out of relief.

"man I hated that guy"

"yeh he was such a freakin-"

"I AM HERE!" Estique said. Well more like shouted, but in a cute way. Maybe. She went up to the place where dumb-n-bore normally stands and gives a speech, you know, that place where he always stood, with the phoenix wings and the long beard, you know. That place. I think you know.

"EVERYBOD1 I have TERIBLE NEWS!" Estique said while smiling. Everyone else were kinda thinking it was a prank, since, you know, she was smiling. They were thinking "oh man oh wow oh my this is probably a really funny joke haha" and were excited. You know.

"HERMINNI and VOLZIMORT are DATING!" She SHOUTED. No one said anything.

"cough" said one person.

"cough cough" said another.

And for the longest time in that awkward pause of five seconds, everyone thought: has she gone crazy?

Snape, or "Snap", as he is called by Estique, kinda hated Voldemort. It was probably due to the mind-numbingly awful and extremely painful torture sessions that wasn't his fault and were in fact pretty racist. But you know, I could be wrong. So Snape, hating Voldemort, was kinda intrigued. He knew Estique was an intelligent, cute, special, pure, amazing and stunning young woman that he cared very much for even if he didn't really know why. On normal days, he didn't question it. Huh.

So Snape was kinda weirded out. Scratch that: He was MORTIFIED. Voldemort was dating a minor? Voldemort, the sadistic, evil huge NERD WAS ACTUALLY LIKE THAT? The sheer thought was scaring him. So naturally Snape gave into the growing headache and fell unconscious. So did a huge part of the students. Everyone's eyes fell on Hermione, who in turn squirmed in her seat and looked generally uncomfortable. She glared at Estique.

Estique wasn't ruffled in the least about this, though. She continued. "I KNOW for a FACT that they are DATING bcuz…

I SAW THEM TOGETHER IN DA FORBIDEN F0RESTTTT!" Estique shouted. Everyone was shocked.

"ANNNND they are OBVIOUSLY dating because she's a nerd and he's the badboy and they were together in one spot I mean hello~! It's obvious people! Which makes me realize… he's probably also… secretly a werewolf! And a mafia boss! Aaand a delinquent! And a CEO! And has a tragic backstory that no one but Hermione knows!"

"Yes that does seem rather likely" Said one professor.

"To think he was all those things all along" said another professor.

"Yes I have read about that pairing many times; it is a cliché for a reason" said another-another professor.

Snape thrashed around in his sleep.

"Interesting point there Snape old chap, I think so too" said another professor.

"So I guess it is settled; The infamous Evil Wizard, murderer/racist, and 50-year-old Voldemort is engaged in a romantic relationship with 11-year-old student and muggleborn Hermione Granger despite the fact that he hates her kind and had multiple people killed for that very same reason. And we know all this because our prime student Ms. Maroon Du Rose Uchiha Bakugou Todoroki Peverell told us as the only witness. Well, I say that we should believe her impressionable 11-year-old words because why not?" said Flitwick in a serious manner.

"But don't I have to tell my side of the story-" Hermione tried.

"NO!" Estique screamed at Hermione; spit FLYING and anger marring her features. She looked like a beast!

Snape screamed in his sleep and thrashed around in his seat. "Don't… let… Granger go; Probably… one… of Estique's…lies…Stop…being crazy…"

"Yes, I agree old chap, that Granger sure is crazy to believe we'd care about her side of the story even though there's a laughably small amount of evidence in this case!" Some other professor agreed while nudging Snape.

"ARE YOU SERIOUS, FELLOW PROFESSORS?!" McGonagall shouted at the other professors, making them sit up straighter. "How are you saying these ridiculous things; You are only trusting the words of ONE student and forgetting that she even broke a school rule regarding going into the Forbidden Forest! You see Granger in the corner over there, crying, yet you don't even THINK to check her side of the story OR about Ms. Estique's whereabouts?! I am asham-"

"Shut your stupid FACE, MC-OLDLADY!" Estique screamed at McGonagall. She then took her wand and aimed it at McGonagall.

"IMPERIUS!" she shouted. She went up to McGonagall's fallen body. "You shall now think highly of me and think that I am the best. You will hate Herminnie Grangla and Voldemort and Dumbiedork. You will be my real-real-real Right Hand Man.

The whole school was shocked. Did she just use one of the Unforgivables?!

"Use Oblivate on everyone McGonagall" Estique ordered.

"ok" said McGonagall.

But then, Hermione started to laugh evilly at McGonagall.

"YES, it was I, HERMIONE! You thought I was innocent, but I was REALLY evil! I AM actually not in a relationship with VOLDEMORT...but i AM his LOYAL HENCHMAN! And… now we have got Dumbledore on OUR SIDE, TOO! MUHAHAHAHA!" Hermione laughed, jumped into a conveniently placed portal with Dumbledore.

"SAYONARA!" Dumbledore screamed at them. Then they left.

An awkward pause filled the Great Hall. It was a lot to take in. From Dumbledore joining the dark side, to him being a weeaboo, to Hermione actually being Voldemort's henchman, it was very weird. And scary. Also scary. But definitely more… weird.

"xD it is ok u guys, if you beg me, I might become the next Headmaster…" Estique said looking at her nails in a humble way. If that is in any way possible…?

The professors and the students looked at each other and thought: Why not? Even if she just used one of the Unforgivables and could be sentenced to Azkaban for life, she also somehow discovered Hermione's link to Voldemort, and that Dumbledore somehow was secretly on the dark side somehow. And so they started to beg Estique.

After 10 hours, she was sufficiently flattered and accepted the job. And then all was well at Hogwarts - well, as good as they can get in a crack fanfic.