Faris was seventeen when Tryphaina Metaxas died from a disease of the brain and left her brothel to her only daughter, Korinna. Korinna found her during shore leave and dragged her into Tryphaina's office. There was a fancy tea setting and butter cookies dusted with powdered sugar, all on top of lacy doilies. Faris touched none of it, preferring to wait for Korinna to come out with whatever she'd hauled Faris up for. When the silence got too painful, the older woman began.
"When you came here the first time, we knew. Might have fallen out with the royals, but we're still proud Tycoonians. But that guardian of yours threatened to slit our throats if we told you, so we had to wait. Then Mamá thought too much time had passed, and…"
A sudden discomfort settled into the pit of Faris' stomach. She's Faris Scherwiz, found at sea by pirates. First adopted by Renji Inomoto, then by Merrick Reid when Renji proved unsuitable for raising a child as difficult as her. "Too bright for your own good," Merrick had said to her after taking her from Renji, but that just translated as "difficult" to her. She's got no family to shame, no king to swear fealty to, and nothing that ties her down to human laws. She's just Faris. Not good for a lot, except that she knows a ship inside and out. And she has a dragon.
There was the slide of mechanisms as her old minder opened a drawer and pulled out an age-yellowed sheet of paper. This she thrust in Faris' face. Faris took one glimpse at it and shoved it back, refusing to let the implications sink in.
She's just Faris. Rat-catcher and powderimp for the first few years. She's been a swabber's mate, the worst job on the ship and one she tried to get out of every time. Ran rigs and spliced ropes. Knows her navigation, knot-counting, and lead-swinging. Did her time with the cannons when she was old enough. Apprenticed with the ship's carpenter and been an undersawyer; 'twas by miracle alone that she still had her sight. She'd pick pockets and cut purses on shore leave, and became a flying man when she got to be too big to run from her marks. She'd done every job on a ship that could be done. Not a single thing made her special but her own hard work.
"Information leading to the recovery of this child will be rewarded with 500,000 gil and—"
She's just Faris. Everything she had, she fought for. Her growing fortune in the bank in Tule was won in blood, sweat, and tears she couldn't shed around anyone. Merrick's ship became hers not through inheritance, but through a vote every season. She nearly died to gain Syldra.
The child's face printed on the flyer, just above the lettering and with that really fancy intaglio print technology that came out of Karnak, was too familiar. She remembered seeing it in the mirror every time Merrick cut her hair like a boy's.
She's just Faris. And she got up and stormed out.
When Faris awoke, she expected the crusty eyes and headache that followed a long crying jag. Wasn't exactly her first time. What she didn't expect was Lenna being up before her, and already dressed at that.
There was something oddly forbidding about Lenna's bearing. A tension in her shoulders that hadn't been there before. The way Lenna wouldn't quite look her in the eye. A sinking feeling swept through Faris as a thought weaseled its way to the fore of her mind before she kicked it aside and ignored it: she knows.
It was an absurd thought, and addressing it at all would mean addressing the feelings of discomfort she'd been suppressing since they left the Ships' Graveyard. It would mean that her memories—
No. Best not go down that route. Won't like what you see. They're not memories, they're the sad, desperate fancies of a lonely brat.
"What's the plan?" Faris asked as she got out of bed. Lenna had her clean clothes laid out for her, which meant that she'd been going through Faris' things. And while that wouldn't bother her normally, close as they'd become, there was something she didn't want Lenna to see. A little bit of chain knotted together, a cheap white metal pendant, and a green glass gem.
"You're my revenge, lad," Merrick had said once, when he was deep in his cups and his Carwen accent was thicker than usual. It was the anniversary of his family's slaughter. The anniversary of Tycoon's invasion of Carwen fifty-something years before. "Bloody bastard gets to feel what it's like to lose family every day I've got you."
Merrick never answered her questions about who she might have been, and discouraged them so strongly that she stopped asking. He told her time and again that her pendant was a cheap knock-off and only of sentimental value. He told her time and again that she was just Faris, nothing special, and she had work to do.
"I suppose we'll check up on the king," Lenna began, her back to Faris. Faris tried not to feel a thing from the carefully neutral tones in her lover's voice as she laced up her binding vest. "Then we should consider how to get to Karnak. I don't think Notos is up for the flight."
Faris let the silence yawn open as she continued getting dressed and pulled and brushed her hair back into something resembling order, but that the silence was uncomfortable puzzled her. Hadn't been this bad before, not with Lenna. It was more likely to be from Syldra's death than anything Lenna might have found. Once a dragon's mind touched a human's, the human was never quite the same. Anything else was nonsense.
Still, no point in dithering about it.
"Need to talk?"
She didn't think it was possible, but Lenna went even more rigid at the window. That urge to comfort her and smooth the knots out of her back was hard to ignore, but Faris had the strangest feeling that her touch wouldn't be welcome right then. What was left of her heart sank with the realization.
Well. Nice while it lasted.
"You've had unimaginable losses," Lenna began, her voice soft and carefully measured. Like she was afraid of making it hurt more than it did already. "I…I don't think it's fair to take advant—"
Faris rather suspected that that wasn't the issue, but it was an opening she was happy to take. "Please take advantage of me. Stops me from having to remember."
Those stiff, squared-off shoulders sagged at her words. Lenna hugged herself, but still didn't bother to turn and actually look at her. "It's attractive to run away. I understand. I've been there. But ignoring it doesn't make it go away. And…and I…you…you're my—"
Faris grabbed her things and was out the door before she could hear Lenna finish the sentence. If she didn't hear it, it wasn't real.
⁂
Butz sensed something was off the moment Faris bumped into him as he left his room. Not that he expected things to be at all well, given how much she lost, but Faris generally wasn't this clumsy.
At least she was moving on her own. There had been a few long moments the night before in which he wondered whether she was beyond their reach, mentally. Didn't know what could be done if she just keeled over in a mindless husk the way the old dragon knights did when they lost their dragons. What exactly Lenna did to bring her back, Butz had no idea.
"Hey, Faris, how are—"
She growled in response, didn't quite look at him, and barged on to storm down the stairs. Fair enough, he supposed. Had they the time, he'd let her burn herself out and leave it at that. Still, there were two more Crystals at risk and they didn't have time for infighting.
Great, now he was starting to think like Galuf.
In direct contrast, Lenna left her room with a dejected air that worried him. She didn't quite look at him as he joined her, either. The sense of unaddressed tension grew stronger.
"Nice work last night," Butz offered. "What did you do?"
The smile Lenna gave him wavered, like she was indulging him when she didn't want to. "Nothing I can remember."
Butz left it at that and remained silent as they walked downstairs; if the lovebirds had their first squabble, he would rather not be involved. He'd say this for Galuf's misgivings: he reluctantly agreed that a budding romance during a quest was not the best idea. No matter how cute they were. And yet, given that they both had losses that drew them together, he wasn't about to bring it up. Wasn't his place.
The only one waiting for them in the foyer was Galuf, his travel sack slung over his shoulder and an expression of thinly-veiled consternation on his face. He had his own personal drama, and it had weighed heavily over him and Butz as they drank the night before. Not that Galuf actually said anything about the dead foreign soldier in the tower, but Butz had a feeling that the death and all the questions brought up by the soldier's familiarity with Galuf kept running about like nuteaters in his head.
It was a bit much for him. All the tense little personal problems made Butz desperately wish he could just leave them to their own little teacup storms and take off for somewhere far away, preferably somewhere with no people to worry over and perform for, but the Wind Crystal shards bounced in the pouch against his hip with each step to remind him of his responsibility to the world.
"Faris went on ahead," Galuf said as they approached him. The brief glance at Lenna was speculative, but he figured out what was going on between them quickly enough and moved on. "Figured she'll find us when she's ready."
Lenna's thin smile did nothing to cover up her discouragement. "In the meantime, I am going to check on the king. If—"
"We'll come with you." Butz cocked an arm for her to hold, hoping the effort to amuse her with exaggerated gestures would at least get her mind off whatever she and Faris quarrelled about. Maybe he wasn't good at these kinds of things, and certainly he spent too much time with only a chocobo for company, but at least he could try a little harder to help ease her worries.
The smile faded and Lenna hesitated to take him up on the unvoiced offer for a few awkward seconds. Once her hand finally settled on his elbow, he patted it and led the way out.
Walse was nice enough, he supposed. The uniform little rectangle granite setts that made up the surface of its roads were perfectly cut and replaced whenever they cracked. The castle and its town smelled constantly of wet stone and silt, and any processing of less fragrant materials was done downwind. When there still was wind. Buildings tended to be plastered with white and accented with blue paint, with an occasional flash of red cards in the windows of less reputable establishments when the patrols weren't looking. Pretty, clean, and everything in its place.
Anything out of place was dealt with promptly. Criminals were swept away to the dungeons under the castle to await judgment, with sentenced offenders serving time at the quarries to cut those granite setts. There was a placidity among lifelong residents that made him suspect that the same thing in the water that calmed the monsters that got too close did the same to people. It was just unnatural enough that he never liked to stay in Walse for long.
They found Faris trying to wear ruts in the paving in front of the castle gate. She paced in that way that suggested she was burning off her temper, with quick, long-legged strides and graceful pivots. It was only when she saw them coming that she slowed to a stop and folded her arms in front of her. The effect might have been forbidding, at least to someone not more familiar with her. To Butz, it came across as defensive.
"Guards won't let me in," Faris grumbled as they approached. The heated glare she shot at one of the offending guards might have stopped most men short.
The guard didn't bother to meet her gaze. "You are a known and wanted pirate." The way he said it made Butz suspect that the only reason they hadn't arrested Faris upon their arrival yesterday was the presence of her companions.
At his side, Lenna took in a bracing breath and stepped away to loop her arm around Faris', regardless of how the intimacy might come across to others. Faris' shoulders eased for a moment, then stiffened again when she remembered that they were still squabbling about something.
"Corporal, this pirate is the Light Warrior of Fire," Lenna began in what Butz had decided was her future monarch tone of voice. "I will vouch for Faris. Please let us check on my cousin."
"The king is recovering from his injuries," the other guard said, but he waved at a guard on the other side to raise the portcullis.
Lenna detached herself from Faris' arm once they walked past the gate, but remained close enough to her side that she was probably going to take a hit to her reputation. Not that she seemed like the type to mind.
Butz didn't bother to try to listen to Lenna's whispers as they marched through the castle, nor did he pay any attention to the tone of Faris' grunts. None of his business.
What he paid attention to was the flow of water and the changes in the smells around him. There was no apparent change to the sound of flowing water yet, but under the smell of wet stone were the subtle scents of mildew and algae just starting to grow. The gunk would be visible in pools and channels soon enough.
They shortly came upon the king's private chambers, which were decorated with all manner of filthy rich decor. He'd never be able to come up with the money to buy the sorts of things he saw there. Not that he particularly wanted to. Having rarities usually made one a target for thieves.
Lenna stiffened at the sight of one of the attending women—an older woman who was well dressed and richly adorned, and looked more the part of a snooty noblewoman than Lenna ever did. The woman opened her mouth to say something, but she was quickly interrupted by the king lying in his bed.
"What you all said was correct," the king said. He then gave a dry cough that made him wince in response. Sounded like his broken ribs were still healing. Practically buried in his blankets as he was, the king seemed a lot older and more frail.
Ignoring propriety, Lenna stepped past the older woman to brush away the hair from the king's brow. Some intangible, invisible energy flowed from her touch to ease the pain on the king's face. "King Walse, are you all right?"
The king smiled weakly at her before shifting to his back so that he could better address them. "Hurry to Karnak. Over there, they're also using a machine to amplify the power of the Crystal. It seems that a meteorite has also fallen near Karnak. Go, before it's too late." Then he fell into a coughing fit that didn't sound nearly as bad as it did before Lenna worked whatever magic she had in her.
"Princess Lenna, given that you have the sky dragon, you should return to Tycoon," the older woman said. She looked like she'd rather not deign to acknowledge their existence; her face turned sour as she continued. "They must be worried."
Lenna pulled back, closer to Faris, and gave that forced smile of hers. "Of course, dear cousin." Then she turned and left the chambers with Faris and Galuf close behind.
"Provincials," the snobby old lady muttered as she returned to fawn over the king. Butz rolled his eyes and went after Lenna.
⁂
Though Lenna hated that Tesni was right in saying that she should go back to Tycoon, she knew the ministers had to be worried sick by the disappearance of both the king and crown princess. Not to mention her governess and nursemaid, Jenica. She had wanted to put it off until later, but Karnak was half a world away and her father's dragon could not make the trip in his state.
As it so happened, one of the soldiers reported that a member of the Karnak imperial guard was found near the meteor that fell at the tower of Walse. He had been slipping in and out of consciousness ever since, but never stayed coherent long enough to answer questions. There really was only one option right now: head home. At any other time, she wouldn't give the notion a second thought. But now…
"Let's not go to Tycoon and say we did," Faris groused as they went over their options in the great hall. At this time of day, only the guards were there. "Lenna can send a messenger."
"A messenger will not be believed. Lenna's subjects will need to see her in person to be sure she's well." Galuf crossed his arms in a subconscious mimicry of Faris' forbidding stance, though his came across as more self-assured.
Butz, looking like he'd rather be anywhere else, sighed. "Look. We have a sky dragon with us. Trip shouldn't take that long. Let's just go and get it over with."
"What's so scary about Tycoon?" Lenna asked, though she suspected the answer. Faris was trying to avoid acknowledging their past, and that they had unknowingly committed incest. Lenna wanted to talk about it, but Faris kept trying to get out of it every time.
Those slim, sun-browned hands she shouldn't know so intimately squeezed tight around Faris' elbows. "Cap'n says I'm not to go there. Steal me away, they will." Her sailor's accent was thicker again, making Lenna wonder if it was a defensive reaction.
Surprise flooded through Lenna and pooled into a cold lump in her stomach once she fully understood what her sister said. Had Faris' guardian known all along who she was and kept her anyway? What on earth for? Why would anyone keep a missing child, especially when there was so much money offered for her return? It's not like he couldn't have known the moment he arrived at port—their father had posters mass-printed in Karnak and pasted at every harbor, port-of-call, and fishing outpost along the shores of the Western Inland Sea for several years.
Carefully, knowing that her touch wasn't quite welcome at that moment, Lenna set a hand on Faris' arm in an attempt to soothe her. "No one is going to steal you away, dearest. Please come with us. We need you."
Faris' eyes met hers, and the despair in them nearly brought her up short. Lenna wanted more than anything to hold her, assure her that it would be fine and that no one needed to know about their mistake. They could begin again, this time as sisters were meant to, and—
"Fine," Faris ground out as she jerked herself away and stalked towards the gate. More determined than ever to get her sister to face what they've done long enough to figure out what to do afterwards, Lenna followed after her and hoped neither of the men had any idea what was going on between them.
Did you know? Lenna's thoughts flew out towards the only one who could receive them now.
Her father's dragon woke, accidentally sending her the sensation of warm sun and the smell of baking limestone as he replied. Not until Syldra died. Sea dragons are a jealous lot, and he had been blocking me for as long as he was bonded to her. But now that I can hear her, I recognize her voice.
Does what we've done bother you? The thought slipped before she could stop it.
No. Your union cannot produce children. The only concern to me is that it distresses you both. What's done is done. Stop worrying about it. With that, Notos pulled his thoughts away from her to focus on finding a higher point to launch himself from.
Lenna's mind kept circling over the issue as she led the way to the clearing where Notos awaited them. Surely Faris couldn't keep ignoring their blood relation once confronted with familiar surroundings. If she even remembered anything about Tycoon. Their mistake was one made from a basic human need for comfort, and that need could be met without committing incest. Couldn't it?
Yet she still wanted to kiss Faris in ways that were unsisterly. The memory of quiet, loving words whispered in the night still made Lenna yearn to hear them again. She ached to feel Faris' gentle, reverent touch caress her skin. Her fingers itched to run through those long tresses and over battle-scarred skin that she would be happy to pamper. These were not memories that could be idly brushed aside in fits of moral distress. There was no getting over feelings so deep and wonderful.
By the time they piled up on the dragon's back, Lenna still was no closer to a resolution to this problem of incest than she was the night before. All she knew was that it hurt terribly when Galuf took Faris' usual place behind her, and she couldn't find it in herself to blame her sister at all.
⁂
Didn't matter one bit whether the dragon had his own bit of magic propelling him forth, distance was still an issue and it took longer than Lenna said it would to get to Tycoon. Didn't help the least that Faris had ended up wedged between Butz and Galuf—Butz managed to smell faintly of chocobos despite not being near one for as long as he had known him, and Galuf had that old man smell about him. More than once had she found herself wanting to call for a stop just to fix their sitting order and relax with her sweet little princess in her arms again.
A sweet little princess who'd taken a dagger to her heart instead of her waist this time.
Had to be the most absurd excuse to break off a relationship that, far as she could tell, was going along very well indeed. Not that Lenna had said anything substantial, because Faris wouldn't let her, but…
All right. So Faris was missing the first five years of her life. Didn't mean a thing. Merchants took their families on voyages all the time. Ships allowed passengers if they paid enough. That she might be a long-lost noble? Absurd. Her pendant was just a copy; there was no reason to believe otherwise. Those fragments of memories of a blue cloak? Lots of people wore cloaks, and blue was a popular color. It was all nonsense.
And if it wasn't…
Say, for the sake of argument, that she might entertain the notion of being a long-lost noble. It would mean that she'd been feasting on her cousin and quite enjoying the experience. Faris knew she'd given her heart to the wrong person, but that much wrong was not particularly the kind of perversity she was interested in. Blue-bloods committing incest was a common enough theme in eight-pagers and dirty jokes that she would rather not end up the subject of such.
Best she do as all heartbroken sailors did and drown her sorrows in whatever the local pubs had on tap. Because maybe there might have been a future with Lenna if she had been just Faris, nothing special, but there was no future at all if they really were kin.
One glance at Tycoon Castle from a dragon's eye view and she scuppered any thoughts of getting drunk. There was no associated city, not like there were near the Walse and Karnak castles. There was just the castle, some residences and storage buildings inside its walls, the keep, and a long and rocky road winding from the gate and through a sprawling forest. Dotting the foothills were little shepherd's cottages. The closest things that might generously be considered towns were the occasional large clan house with associated buildings clustered on or near crossroads; if the complex was big enough, it was surrounded by wooden palisades.
Faris had heard that the Tycoon interior was full of shepherds, hunters, and other country bumpkin types, but she hadn't expected the reality of this country actually being composed of bickering hill clans up until a hundred years ago. Frankly, she'd thought it was just a rumor. Explained Lenna's competence and headstrong tendencies, anyway.
Spirits, but Faris missed her already. And she was right there.
The dragon dropped them off in the small clearing surrounding the castle and shuffled some meters away to drape himself over a massive slab of sun-warmed rock that glittered in the afternoon light. They weren't likely to hear from him again for hours.
Up at the portcullis Faris eyed with no small amount of trepidation, two guards stood at attention. Neither of them was nearly as rigid as the Walse guards had been.
"Glad to see you're safe," one of the guards said to Lenna. As he turned to wave at the guard inside to open the gate, the older one glanced over Faris in a way that was almost speculative. It made her skin crawl, which was daft because there was no lust or disgust there to be upset about.
Entire trip was making her teazy as an adder.
The guard then told Lenna that the minister was waiting for her, and ushered them through. Faris was uncomfortably aware of the older one whispering to the younger the moment her back was to them, and wondered faintly if anyone could hear her teeth grinding in response.
Once they were actually within the curtain walls, Faris relaxed ever so slightly. None of this felt the least bit familiar, and she was sure she wouldn't recognize a thing if she was looking at the place from a child's height. It lulled her into a complacency that made an upset all the more jarring.
A slow, creeping unease prickled along the back of her neck as they followed Lenna into the interior of the keep. It was absurd; she didn't actually have a clear memory of this place, but her palms felt sweaty and she was tempted to back out and wait with the dragon.
…Or not. Seemed like a bad idea at this point to be around a creature who could pick up on her every mood and thought.
An aging man with a clan badge of a bandersnatch pinning his cloak together stood before the throne room with a handful of soldiers at his side, his attention on discussing something or other until he noticed them out of the corner of his eye. He stopped short at the sight of…no, that's ridiculous, he was just staring at Faris because she looked every bit the pirate. But his attention returned to Lenna and he bowed his head briefly in greeting. "Lady Lenna!" It fell from his lips with a sigh of relief.
"I'm sorry to have worried you." Lenna sounded contrite enough, she supposed. Faris tried not to read anything into the subtle slump of her shoulders.
"Return to the castle, at least." The minister opened his hands in a beseeching motion. "Too few soldiers remain to fight the monsters. Rebuilding will not be possible without the princess."
Lenna's shoulders squared off in that way they did when she prepared herself for an argument; her tone wasn't much different than the one she'd taken when confronting the king of Walse. "I must go."
The pause that followed was thick with a disquieting tension that only broke when it was clear that Lenna wouldn't change her mind. In concession, the minister folded his hands in front of him and lowered his head. "Then what will become of this country?"
"It's not just this country. Something that affects the entire world is about to happen." Lenna paused and bowed her head to figure out how to word what came next. "Besides, Father lives."
Seeming to have come to a decision, the minister straightened and spoke with a bravado Faris was familiar enough with to respect. "Understood. We will ensure the protection of this country!"
Lenna stepped forward to clasp the man's hands in hers and emphasize her words. "I'll be sure to bring my father back. Until then, everyone, please do your best."
The soldiers and the minister saluted. Rather hoping that was the end of it and they could go back to Walse, Faris shifted her weight back on her heel for a turn, and—
"For now, please stay the night in the castle," the minister said. Faris mentally swore up a storm as Lenna agreed, but she was hardly going to say anything about it.
Silently she trudged after the other Light Warriors and decidedly did not look at any paintings. She did not have the wherewithal to pay much attention to Lenna's tour of the place, and likely would have noticed Butz dropping by her side earlier if she had. He bumped her shoulder lightly with his to get her attention.
"Hey," he began in a low voice that sounded like he was trying to mimic Lenna's compassion. Clearly needed more practice with it. "You've been distracted since Walse. What's up?"
"Nothing." It was said behind gritted teeth. If Butz had any sense of self-preservation, he'd leave her alone.
He kept pace with her instead. 'Course he did. "Well, if you need anyone to talk to—"
"No. Fuck off."
Her words might as well have been water slipping off an oilcloth coat, for all that their sharpness seemed to affect Butz. He allowed for a moment of silence or two before continuing in that aggravating calm of his. "'Need', not 'want'. Everyone needs a listener."
It took everything in her power to keep from lashing out and striking him. If he thought he was going to replace Syldra and become her best friend, he had another thing coming. "Bring back Syldra, then we'll talk."
"Soon as I figure out how to bring back my Pa," Butz muttered under his breath. Faris pointedly didn't look at him; didn't want to see how deep she actually cut. Before she could feel apologetic, he continued. "Look, you just lost your dragon and got pulled out of catatonia last night. You lost your livelihood not long before then. That's hard enough. Now you're pulling away from your girlfriend just when you need her support."
Faris paused to glance up, only to notice that the others had moved on and left them alone in the hallway. Sourly she wondered if getting her alone with Butz to talk had been planned all along. "She doesn't want me."
Those absurdly bright blue eyes of his watched her; his jaw worked to say something he was sure wouldn't set her off. Finally, he gave up on tact and came out with it. "And have you talked to her at all about it, or—"
"No need." Having spent her childhood watching boys and men in order to mimic them, and later women to figure out who was receptive to her advances and who wasn't, she rather thought of herself as an accurate assessor of body language. Lenna's couldn't have been louder if she had told her to back off outright.
It still hurt.
"Then talk to me." He tried not to show his frustration with her, but it was in the way his hand swept wide as he spoke, the way he had to consciously work to keep from sighing, and the way his chin lifted for a fight he thought was coming. "Or Galuf. Or…I dunno, I'll paint eyes on a rock for you. Just do something besides bottling things up and snarling at us. Like it or not, the Crystals stuck us together."
If nothing else, Faris tried not to stick around where she wasn't wanted. Rather than dignify him with a reply, she turned and stalked off to another hallway. At least he didn't sound like he was following her. Small mercy.
The only thing that assured her that no one was leaving her behind was the presence of the sky dragon's mind nearby—if she bothered to reach out, he would answer her. Not that she would, not when the ragged edges where her soul was ripped in two still tormented her and refused to be ignored.
It was when the shadows grew long as afternoon advanced to evening that Faris' aimless wandering led her to a room left to gather dust long ago. Sheets draped over a desk and chair, and left carelessly in a corner was a portrait with its canvas so ripped and burned that its subject was unrecognizable. She had no idea what drew her to the room, or why, but its isolation was welcoming. No better place for the unwanted.
Something—Faris wasn't sure what and didn't want to know—compelled her to curl up on herself under the wooden desk. It was smaller than she expected, and she refused to acknowledge why she might have expected anything at all. Curling up under something had always been her childhood response to stress; why would she have questioned it now? At least it was dry and no one would think to find her here.
At some point, Faris must have drifted off. She woke to darkness, the sound of soft-soled shoes scuffing around the desk, and long skirts sweeping against the stones as an older woman crouched by the opening under the desk. Glancing up confirmed that the older woman was watching her carefully, and with an expression she didn't want to interpret.
"Princess Lenna would like for you to know that there is a plate waiting for you in the kitchen when you feel like eating," the woman said in the soft, soothing tones of a mother addressing an upset child. But not too soft—the older woman was fully aware that talking down to her might anger her.
Not mother. Nursemaid. And Faris soundly kicked that thought to the side, along with any questions as to how this woman knew to find her here and knew how to speak to her. She gave only a grunt as an answer, which the older woman responded to with a simple "Good evening" before leaving her be.
Faris was hardly a child anymore and couldn't stay curled on herself for much longer. The ache in her back grew with every passing minute, as did the one in her stomach. With a grunt of disgust at herself, she left the shelter of the abandoned desk and straightened out her back until the ache receded. Naught to be done about the one in her stomach until she had her supper, and she'd have to leave the comfort of the dusty old study for that.
Getting lost and having to ask the night watchmen for directions to the kitchen granted her a bit of relief she embraced and used to confirm that of course she had never been here before. And, frankly, this mess in her head was exhausting enough that she was happy to have an excuse to ignore it.
The kitchens had long since been cleared out for the night, with only a covered tray, an empty glass, and a bottle of strange spirits sitting on the nearest countertop that was down to about half. A single oil lamp was left to light her way. Being particularly disinclined towards good manners just then, Faris ignored the servant's table and chairs in a corner and opted to eat standing, like a thief ready to flee at a moment's notice.
The liqueur was dark green when poured out of the bottle, and tasted of herbs, citrus, and enough sugar that she suspected it was meant to be dessert. Disappointingly low alcohol content, though Faris could hardly be surprised. Still, if it took more drink to dull the edges of her thoughts, she would take the bottle. Beneath the lacquered wood cover on the tray was a plate of grilled vegetables and goat meat cut into cubes, smaller plates of flatbread and yogurt dip, and utensils. Nothing fancy, but she rather suspected that fancy was left for more important events.
Faris barely tasted any of it, nor did she have much of a thought process involved in cleaning the dishes herself beyond some vague awareness that it was rude to have the kitchen staff clean up after a common pirate. The liqueur helped her feel numb enough that she might get some sleep, though she was a bit disappointed that there hadn't been enough to make her forget everything that happened over this damned quest.
Aside from a periodic stop at a night watchman to ask for directions, Faris continued her aimless wandering. She wasn't yet looking forward to sleep, though she could feel the exhaustion seeping into her bones. If it got bad enough, then maybe she'd ask someone for directions to a bed. Or find a quiet corner to be miserable in. That'd work, too.
Or a balcony. Faris wasn't sure how long it took to find her way to it, or whether she had intended to find it at all. The moons were high in the sky and the stars were bright, but she didn't bother to use them to figure out the exact time. The constellation of Leviathan was out in his early spring position and the star at the tip of his tail indicated that she had time to sleep, and that was good enough for her. It was late enough, but not so much as to be nearer to morning.
With a voiceless sigh, Faris eyed the wrought iron railing of the balcony. She couldn't entertain thoughts of throwing herself off of it, not when Syldra sacrificed himself for her. Losing Lenna's affections? Fine; it hurt, but she's been rejected before. How was she supposed to go on without Syldra? He was her heart and—
"Faris?"
Lenna's voice was soft and delicate, like she was afraid of upsetting Faris by so much as speaking. Faris desperately wished she could just sweep the sweet little princess up in her arms and never let go, but she knew her touch was no longer welcome.
Still, she could grant her the courtesy of looking at her. Lenna's hair was tousled and she wore a long, warm robe over her nightgown, and still she was utterly enchanting in the light of the stars and moons. Spirits, but Faris had it bad. It took her a moment to gather the wits to respond. "Eh? What is it, Lenna?" Scintillating was she when she was in her cups like this.
Conflicting emotions played over Lenna's face before she settled on resolution and stepped forth. And forth. Right until she was so close that she had to smell the liqueur on Faris' breath. "Sister."
Cold dread shot through Faris' veins and threatened to toss out her supper. Her inability to breathe had nothing to do with the tightness of her binding vest. She managed some wordless exclamation, as if it could possibly do anything to erase the word.
"You're my sister, aren't you?" Lenna looked so hopeful; it was as if she had no idea what kind of chasm she was opening up beneath them.
A sourness rose up to the back of Faris' throat at the thought. Cousins seemed like a much better option in comparison. "What're you saying?!" she finally managed. "Me… That's impossible!"
"But…"
Faris stepped away, closer to the railing that looked positively inviting now. It was about as cold under her palms as the blood in her veins just then. "Me, a pirate, really a princess! What a terrible joke!" She forced a laugh and winced at how hollow it sounded. Everything inside her felt like falling in on itself.
Without sparing another glance at Lenna, Faris did what instinct always told her to do when things went sideways and fled the scene of the crime. She'd assume responsibility otherwise, and she couldn't face anything like that just then.
⁂
Galuf had his own problems to deal with, so he paid little attention to whatever strife the lovers were going through. First and foremost on his mind was the dead soldier from the tower who knew his name, who called him Lord. The title didn't sit right with him, but it didn't feel completely wrong, either. The soldier's accent was like his own, however, and that's what puzzled him the most.
Who was he? Really? Where did he come from? The girls thought he was a nobleman from some place so far off that Lenna didn't recognize the crest on his signet ring and Faris couldn't place his accent. Butz didn't care enough to puzzle out anything—as far as Butz was concerned, all that mattered was that they got along. Galuf was largely left to figure it out for himself, and he wasn't often one for introspection.
The night only offered a temporary reprieve from his questions. He'd woken up in the middle of the night, when Faris shuffled in and collapsed on the spare bed without bothering to take off so much as her boots, but otherwise he slept and did not dream.
Faris woke him again in the morning with the clapping of her boots on the floor and an air of abject misery. Not that he could blame her, he supposed. She was doing remarkably well for someone who lost so much so quickly, so he figured that leaving her alone to process her grief was the best option for all of them.
Lenna joined them while Galuf was buckling his belt, all her attention on Faris. For her part, Faris looked like a wounded animal and never once met her gaze.
With a sigh, Lenna turned her attention to Butz, who still somehow slept through their noise. She called out his name several times, to which his response was incoherent muttering. Then, to their surprise, Butz tumbled out of bed, onto the floor, and landed on his face. Then he rolled to a sitting position and glanced around blearily until his senses finally returned to him.
Lenna giggled. Galuf asked what it was Butz thought he was doing. Faris muttered "bloody weirdo" under her breath. For his part, Butz gave that embarrassed smile of his and pulled himself up off the floor.
In that graceful manner of hers that kept anyone from being too offended by her assumption of authority, Lenna spoke. "A pigeon arrived late last night from Walse. The Karnakian soldier is awake enough to answer questions, so we will return to Walse as soon as we're ready. Please enjoy your breakfast in the dining hall while I meet with the minister of defense for one last thing."
With that, Lenna swept out of the room. If Faris looked a bit heartbroken as she watched her leave, it was hardly Galuf's place to comment.
What a mess. He just hoped it wouldn't last. They had a world to save.
Background notes:
- Faris' list of shipboard jobs is based on history and kind of expected for ship's crews who didn't come aboard with lots of experience. Decoding for those who might be interested: 1) powderimp/powdermonkey - usually a child or youth transporting gunpowder between cannons; 2) knot-counting - involves tossing a weight connected to a spindle overboard and measuring how many knots the weight travels out within a specific time, this measures ship's speed; 3) lead-swinging - measuring water depth by throwing a lead weight connected to a cord overboard.
- A note about Tycoon: according to multiple secondary publications, Alexander Highwind was the third ruler of the kingdom of Tycoon. Basic Knowledge explains that many people in the kingdom know some variety of martial arts because they're primarily hunters. Because of the implications that the kingdom itself is very new, I'm going with a bit of a Scottish/Ancient Greek nation development model. Also of interest in the books: Alexander was likely not related to the previous king, a warmonger interested in global domination, and did everything he could to do the exact opposite and rule in peace. It's in this previous king's study that Faris retreats for a bit here.
- You know what's delightful about DFFOO? That Faris' 変なやつ (translated here as "bloody weirdo", but is more literally "weird person") is voiced. She uses it a couple of times in FFV.
Also one last thing: I just want you to know that I really appreciate anyone who reads this.