Murmured whispers lost in the dark. Gentle hands fluttering across my cheeks. Bandaged palms and the sweet sting that comes with healing.

Apolla.

I do not wake gracefully, with blinking eyes and soft smiles. I jolt upright, gasping, sucking in air with lungs that struggle to inflate.

"Shuri. Shuri!"

My blurred vision slowly comes into focus, and when I finally have enough of a grasp on reality to look around, I get the feeling I have lost time. My breathing is even and clear, the heaviness gone from my chest. It's as though I've been sedated and forgotten everything since.

Somebody chuckles beside me. "Can you believe that?"

I struggle to sit upright, turning to see — with mortification — a handful of people stood against the wall. My brain is slow, hazy, to catch up.

Somebody else joins in the laughter. I think it might be Thor. "First time he leaves her in three days, and she wakes up within minutes."

"Yeah, but don't tell him though. If he goes any longer without sleep I'll put him back on the damn ice myself."

A warm hand touches my arm. I look, my eyesight still delayed, and see that it's Natasha, her face close beside my own.

"Hey," she whispers.

The room is too white, too bright, and my head protests with a throbbing ache. I have to close my eyes, if just for a moment, but I speak back to her with a hoarse voice.

"Did we win?"

I finally recognise the chuckling man as Tony. "You could say that, fireball."

"If it weren't for you, we'd all be corpses in that clearing by now." Thor's voice again. "I owe you a great debt."

It is the shock, more than anything, that wrenches my eyes open again. It comes rushing back to me. The clearing, the chitauri, the blaster…

Instinctively, I clutch a hand to my abdomen, recalling the blinding pain. I feel only the thin wisps of a hospital gown, concealing a padded layer of what must be bandages. But no pain.

"You're okay," Natasha says, running a hand through my hair in an almost maternal gesture. "They've patched you up pretty good."

My mind continues working, and once I can move past the blaster shot, I recall the fire. The way I had summoned it, the way something else had controlled it…

I quickly turn to my teammates, earning more than a couple pairs of raised eyebrows. I try to do a head count but I lose track, my vision doubles, and I have to start again. 1… 2… 3…

"Did I hurt anyone?" I ask in a whisper.

"Uh, yeah." Tony shrugs. "Like, a whole damn force of chitauri. Even I wasn't expecting that."

"None of us were."

I try to shake my head. "No, you don't understand. That wasn't me."

"Well, it certainly wasn't any of us," Thor says.

"Don't you remember?" Natasha asks.

I hesitate. But I need to tell the truth. I feel guilty receiving this praise, this recognition. It feels unearned.

"I remember it didn't feel like me doing it."

"You were sort of dying," Tony says, matter-of-fact. "I bet it felt a little funny."

"To recap," Thor grins, clearly enjoying himself. "You wiped out almost a thousand chitauri. You took out two spaceships, one airborne. You even ignited a flaming perimeter, which meant no other ship could land in the clearing, nor land elsewhere and embark on foot." He turns to Tony. "Did I miss anything?"

"Oh, yeah, and you managed to do it without a single casualty on our side. I mean, I had almost a dozen of the things clambering all over me, yet they burned to a crisp while I felt cool as a glacier in the mid-winter."

"I've never done that before." I gulp. "Honest."

"And you may not ever do it again," Tony says. "If so, that's okay."

A woman, around my own age, I only vaguely recognise chooses that moment to enter the room. She is stunning, with hair braided and piled on her head, and a white doctor's coat around her shoulders. When she speaks, her voice bears the accent I recognise as Wakandan, and it is just as playful as it is serious.

"Only one person at a time!" she scolds.

Tony raises his hands. "Hey, with respect, the older fellow's been hogging it for so long, we kind of forgot that rule."

"I'll stay, Shuri," Natasha says.

Shuri makes flapping motions at the others. "Now, get out. Shoo!"

Tony and Thor leave, the latter with a mock salute. As soon as they are gone, Shuri turns to me. She smiles, but from the electronic clipboard in her hand, I can tell she means business.

"It's good to see you awake," she says. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine."

She raises an eyebrow.

"My head's a little sore," I admit sheepishly. "But otherwise I'm fine, really. I'm surprised I'm not in any pain."

"You've healed a lot since you've been here," she tells me. "It's lucky your friends thought to bring you straight to Wakanda. Without our resources…"

"That bad, huh?"

Shuri pretends not to hear. "Now, if I can just check your dressing, then we can sit you up properly and give you a meal."

I'm not hungry — if anything, I feel pleasantly full — but I don't object as she unwraps layers of bandages from my torso.

I hold my breath as the final layer comes off. I expect a gaping wound, a gush of blood, a dizzy head. But there's only a small, puckered mark, with visible rings of scarring.

"It will leave a scar," Suki says gently, cleaning the area. "We can consider laser treating it, but sometimes that can be more painful than the wound itself."

"It's alright, I… Hey, are you okay?"

Tears roll down Natasha's cheeks. She blinks quickly when I speak, her knuckles hasty to swipe them away, but there's no conviction to her voice as she replies.

"Yes, yes."

Shuri is tactfully silent as she re-dresses the wound, finally tucking in the edge of the bandage and replacing the side of my gown. She promises to be in soon with some food and then leaves us alone.

"What is it?" I ask Natasha as soon as the door closes.

"God…" she sniffs. "You really have to ask? You took that shot for me, Apolla. If it wasn't for you… Well, it's like Thor said. We'd all be a lot worse off right now."

"Natasha," I say gently, "I'm telling you, I don't know what happened."

She fixes me with a fierce stare. "You saved my life. That's what happened."

"You're my friend," I mumble, suddenly shy. We've never quite put our companionship to words before. "Of course I did."

Wordlessly, she throws her arms around me. I wince a little — my head really is sore — but hug her back. For the first time, I realise how small she is. She's so strong, in character and physically, it's easy to forget until moments like this.

Natasha lets out a small laugh as she pulls back. "Man, Steve's going to be annoyed he missed this."

"What do you mean?"

She gives me a slightly knowing look. "He hasn't left your side, has he?"

I pretend to ignore the undercurrent of a thrill the words give me. "Oh?"

"Three days." She shakes her head. "You should have seen the look he gave Suki when she told him to leave. But she needed to undress you, and he is a perfect gentleman. Other than that, though, he's been here the whole time. Tony managed to convince him to get some sleep, right before you woke up. He protested, too, even though he could hardly stand straight. He finally promised to get an hour's rest, but I'll bet he's back before the hour's up."

I feel suddenly shy. "Shit. What do I say to him when he comes back?"

Natasha shrugs. "Whatever you want."

We chat some more about travel plans and Shuri's instructions for my training, but I gnaw anxiously at my lip the whole time. When a figure at the door interrupts us, my heart feels as though it's going to leap out of my chest. But seeing it's only Shuri, with a tray of food, I regain control of myself.

Natasha gives me a quick, quizzical look — my heart rhythm is displayed for everyone to see on the monitor — but quickly turns her attention back to Shuri.

"That's enough visitors for today," she says, not unkindly. "Let's let Apolla eat and rest. You can come back afterwards."

"I'll be fine," I reassure Natasha, who's staring suspiciously at Shuri.

"Okay." She clears her throat. "If you need me, I'll be right next door. Okay?"

She squeezes my hand before leaving, still fixing Shuri with an odd stare. I wonder why — they seemed pleasant enough before. But Shuri only smiles kindly, still holding the tray of food. Natasha finally leaves, and Shuri places the tray on my lap.

I begin buttering a piece of toast. "I really appreciate all you've done," I tell her. "Truly—"

I drop the toast. A shimmer ripples down Shuri's body and, standing in her place, is Loki.

"Hello," he says, quite pleasantly, quite unabashedly.

My eyes flicker first to the plastic butter knife, and then to the door.

"I don't mean to alarm you." He raises his hands. "I promise I mean you no harm. I just want to speak with you and, well, the others are rather protective of you at the moment."

"You're here," I tell him coldly. "So speak."

A slow grin breaks out across his face, and he claps his hands in delight. "Oh, you are good!"

I decide to try and ignore him, retrieving my toast and crunching down. Loki sits in a chair, crossing his legs neatly. His green tunic glistens, reflecting the harsh lights.

"I must say, I'm rather a fan," he confesses. "Have been since watching that first video, of you at the orphanage. But to see you work up close… That was something else."

"Thank you," I say drily.

He pauses for a moment. I worry I've angered him. Then, "you don't trust me, do you?"

I consider him for a moment. "Should I?"

"No," he admits. "Not always."

I've never been one for games. I enjoy chess, but am terrible at it. Riddles only confuse me. Speaking with Loki feels a little like a riddle wrapped up in a game of chess, with a puzzle thrown in for good measure.

"What about when it comes to Thanos?" I press him.

Loki blinks, clearly surprised. "Well, I doubt anybody in the universe would wish to help Thanos. One risks one's own life in doing so, and for what purpose? No, I very much want to see Thanos fail. When I die, I don't want it to be for a madman's wish."

"So, that's why you joined the Avengers," I say. "You agree with them for once."

"Our goals are currently aligned," he says carefully. The corners of his lips twitch. "And isn't that interesting, that you don't yet consider yourself among them?"

I spoon a dollop of yoghurt onto my fruit salad. "Do you?"

"The Avengers need me, and I need them. For now."

"For now," I repeat.

He hesitates a moment, watching me with amusement. He then becomes animated, leaning forward, twitching a little in his seat. "What about after all of this? Thanos is destroyed, the stones are safe. Won't life seem incredibly dull?"

"After the last few years, dull would be welcome."

"You don't mean that." There is a glint in his eyes. "You wouldn't be content with such a life. Admit it."

My hand pauses halfway to my mouth, fruit resting precariously on the spoon. I consider his words. There must be some truth to them. Could I really go back to my apartment in Vermont, back to spending my inheritance money on books and decorative objects, the biggest thrill of my day being a cracked car windshield?

But that's the simple life I chose, I remind myself. A reprieve from all the chaos and cruelty of the years prior.

Thankfully, before I can slip too deeply into such a line of thinking, a clear tap of footsteps approaches the door. Loki quickly lurches to his feet, but before he can even resume his disguise, the frosted glass doors are opening. A series of beeps emit from the machine I am wired to, even before I see him — my heart rate increasing steadily in anticipation for my next visitor.