This is the last chapter! The next 'chapter' that's posted is just the playlist for this fic. Thanks for reading along!

Full chapter title is 'I Will Forgive You For Taking My Heart In the Suitcase You Packed'. (FFN should really expand the character amount for chapter titles lol.)

It was weird.

Julie had known (or rather acknowledged) for the past couple weeks that she was in love with Luke. But looking him in the eye while possessing that knowledge? That was a whole other story. All she could do was stare as she took in every inch of the boy who had unknowingly caused her so much turmoil.

He was thinner than before he had left. His cheeks a bit hollower, his biceps not as well-defined. His shaggy hair was matted and messy like it hadn't been touched for weeks. Dark circles surrounded his eyes, and his irises, although appearing a vibrant blue against his tear-stained face, looked dull and lifeless beyond the surface instead of bright and energetic like they usually did. Like they should.

But even with all that, he was still beautiful because he was still Luke. Luke, in his sleeveless shirts. Luke, with his ripped jeans and pocket chains. Luke, with his big, puppy dog eyes. He was Luke. Luke was there.

…And he just decided to show up again? Out of the blue? No 'I'm coming home' heads up after a month of being on the run? Nice. That was great.

Julie didn't know what to do. Her brain was overwhelmed, all her emotions twisting together until they were one big knot of confusion. Did she want to run up and hug him? Or slap him? Did she want to kiss him and hold him and never let him go again? Or maybe push him out the door and tell him to get out of her life?

She figured it was in her best interest to not go near him at all, afraid that the desires of her heart would overpower the conscience in her head if she did. Control was what she needed. If she could distance herself, she could remain in control.

"Luke," she finally said, hoping she sounded more unaffected by his presence than she felt. "I see you're back from your little vacation."

He winced. Good. She wanted her words to hurt. At least that meant he felt something.

"I…yeah."

Julie hummed slightly, crossing her arms. "And where, exactly, were you this whole time again? We all must have missed that little memo."

He looked to Alex and Reggie for help, but they knew what was good for them and didn't get involved, opting to hold their hands up as if to tell him he was on his own.

"Uh, Seattle," he said, the words barely coherent. His voice was rough and gravelly like he needed a drink of water, so he cleared his throat and tried again. "I was in Seattle."

Julie bit her tongue to keep from yelling at him and his stupidity. He went all the way to Seattle with nothing but his wallet and the clothes on his back? Did he take a bus? Hitch hike? Did he know how dangerous that was?

She took a deep breath. Indifferent. Stay indifferent, stay in control.

"Right. Hope you had a blast," she clipped back before turning to Alex and Reggie. "Are we rehearsing or not?"

She walked over to the piano. Partially to emphasize the fact that she was done with their conversation, partially because she didn't want to risk Luke passing right by her as he left.

Alex and Reggie stood there helplessly, caught between her, Luke, and what to do.

"We, uh, we thought maybe no rehearsal today. That maybe…maybe you'd want to talk to Luke?" Reggie offered tentatively.

She risked a glance at Luke again. (But only a glance because anything more and she was pretty sure she wouldn't have been able to stop looking.) "I just did. I said all I wanted to say."

"Jules."

She visibly shuddered at the nickname; at the way it sent the rollercoaster that had been dormant for so long soaring through her stomach again. Luckily for her, Luke seemed to mistake her reaction as a negative one as he chose to not elaborate any further in his protests.

He still wasn't leaving, though, and a thought crossed her mind as she fiddled with the keys on the piano. "Do you know where you're going to stay? Are you going back with your parents?"

She was mad as hell at him, but she still loved him and he looked like he'd been living on the streets. She had to at least know he was somewhere safe.

"I've been staying in Bobby's garage."

Julie's eyes snapped back to his, the weight of his words crushing her heart immediately. He'd been staying in Bobby's garage? As in…he'd been back? For how long?

As her eyes bore into his, she could tell he sensed his mistake. He opened his mouth to explain, but she didn't want to hear it. Couldn't hear it. As if it wasn't enough that she had been the only one he hadn't reached out to, but now she was learning he'd been home for who knew how long and didn't bother telling her. She felt the sharp, familiar sting of rejection. Just like she had in seventh grade, the first time they had met, when he hadn't bothered to try and talk to her, and she was left wondering if she was worth his time. Back then, his silence had been his answer.

It looked like that answer rang just as true now.

She pursed her lips in a thin line, and before he could say anything else she said, "Fine. I suggest you go back there."

Luke closed his mouth for a moment before opening it again. He looked unsure of himself, of his words. So unlike the Luke she was used to. "So that's it?"

"Yeah. That's it."

He looked like he wanted to fight her further, and he probably would have, but Alex put a hand on his shoulder as the two shared a look Julie couldn't quite decipher. Apparently, the boys' secret language was still alive and well.

Then Luke turned back to her and scoffed. "Yeah, okay. Whatever. I'll see you around."

No one said a word as he left. It was only after he had shut the doors behind him that she turned back to Reggie and Alex.

"Did you know he was back?"

By their guilty expressions, she knew their answer before they even had to voice it. "He told us two days ago."

Julie nodded curtly. "Nice. Thanks for the heads up."

If there was one thing she knew about her friendship with Alex and Reggie, it was that they hated when she was mad at them. Really, when anyone was mad at them. Both were such people pleasers in their own rights. That was why, in any other circumstance, she would have found it comical at the way they panicked and started throwing out excuses.

"We just didn't know how-"

"It wasn't our place-"

But this wasn't another circumstance. It was this circumstance, and it sucked.

"It's fine," she said shortly. "Let's just rehearse."

The boys tried to protest, recommending that they call it for the day, that they all needed time to cool off and think about everything that had happened in the last thirty minutes. But Julie insisted. The last thing she wanted to do was think. She had been thinking for over a month. About how the police had to 'cover all the bases'. About how insignificant a person she must have been in Luke's life for her to be the only one he didn't text. About how she still loved him anyways. (Did that make her a masochist? She was pretty sure that made her a masochist.) Now, she just wanted to do something. She needed to do something.

It was the worst rehearsal of her life. Her timing was off, she was forgetting lyrics to songs she helped write, and she kept missing her cues. But Alex and Reggie bared with her in solidarity as she finally did that something, and she loved them for that.

The next time she saw him was in music class the next day. She was waiting for class to start, when he strolled in with Alex and Reggie, just as they would before he left.

So it wasn't a fever dream. He really was back.

It was crazy to her, how this was once the norm. The three of them walking in together. In a way, it still felt normal. But in the recent weeks, she had gotten used to just Alex and Reggie. And now that he was back, the two scenarios felt worlds apart. There was Alex, Reggie, and Luke, and there was Alex and Reggie. She didn't know how they could coexist. In a perfect world, they wouldn't have to.

The second he stepped through the door, her classmates immediately started whispering. A few of them, who she knew Luke considered acquaintances, went over to welcome him back. She even saw Lindy Kahn go up and hug him, and Julie had to push down a pang of jealousy, reminding herself that she shouldn't care because he didn't care.

He doesn't care about you. He came back days ago. He never reached out.

Flynn already knew (Reggie told her the night before and she proceeded to text Julie a long string of messages ranging from happy to worried to angry), so at least she had her support as the scene played out in front of her. Julie also noticed Carrie's lack of interest in his return, so she assumed she'd previously been told as well, most likely by Bobby.

To Julie's surprise, Carrie's eyes sought out hers, and she quirked an eyebrow as if asking if she was okay. Julie just gave a tight nod before turning away.

Julie stayed sat in her seat, eyes locked on the front of the classroom so she wouldn't look in Luke's direction. It was only when she felt Flynn grab her hand in support that she finally moved again, turning ever so slightly to offer her friend a weak smile.

Luke and the boys took their usual spots behind her and Flynn. The good news was that since he was sat directly behind her, she couldn't turn to look at him throughout class. The bad news was that she could feel his gaze burning into the back of her head, and she couldn't let herself hope that it meant something.

He doesn't care about you. He came back days ago. He never reached out.

She wasn't able to outright avoid him, although she tried her best.

But at the end of the day, they had the same friends, and Reggie, Alex, and Bobby weren't about to drop him. Flynn, ever the supportive best friend, was giving Luke her own cold shoulder, but Julie knew Flynn like the back of her hand, and knew she was glad Luke was back, even if she refused to show it for Julie's sake.

The entire dynamic felt like eighth grade all over again, when their friends had taken it upon themselves to keep them separated. But this time, it was her doing. She hated it, but she knew it was what she needed.

So, no more lunch with the boys, no more gossiping in the halls, no more turning around in her seat in music class. She wouldn't even look in his direction anymore.

(Really, she didn't.

Well, she tried not to.

Okay, she at least waited until she was positive no one could catch her.)

But even with all that, she would still feel when he would glance at her from across the lunchroom. And she would still hear his melodic laughter travel through the school hallways as he joked around with the boys. And she would still have to hold a smile back when she would overhear him sass Mrs. Harrison under his breath during class.

So yeah.

She tried her best. But she couldn't completely avoid him.

Until she couldn't avoid him at all.

Because one day, she was waiting in the studio for Alex and Reggie to show up for band practice. But when they did, Luke was with them, hiding behind the other two boys like a puppy who knew they were in trouble.

"Why are you here?"

Luke's eyes widened in surprise, likely because it was the first time she'd addressed him directly since that first day he'd gotten back. (Or third day, technically. Yeah, she was still bitter.)

"Rehearsal?" he offered her, voice timid but laced with hope.

Julie only narrowed her eyes, shooting an accusatory glare towards Alex and Reggie.

Reggie sighed. "Look, Jules, we know you two aren't on great terms right now, but, come on. We kinda need a guitarist. If we want to book serious gigs, my guitar skills won't cut it."

"Plus, we want to sound good for the Fall SP. Don't want to fail our senior year of music," Alex jumped in.

Julie rolled her eyes. That was a bit dramatic. All you really had to do for the Semester Performances were, well, perform, and you were almost guaranteed a good grade. But she knew they were right. And plus, technically, Sunset Curve was their band. And Luke was their front man, and best friend. They wouldn't abandon their front man/best friend all for a girl who had only started playing with them because of said front man/best friend. It wasn't fair to any of them.

She sighed, defeated. "You're right."

Reggie's eyes widened. "We are?"

Alex and Luke immediately elbowed him.

"I-I mean, yes. Yes, we are. Because we're…geniuses and…all that…jazz…" he trailed off, but Julie ignored him, already focused on rehearsal. If she had to spend time with him, she was going to make sure it was as bandmates only.

Colleagues.

Business partners.

She could do that, right?

As it turned out, she could not do that.

She could not do that at all.

Because she was stupid enough to suggest Bright as their first song to kick off rehearsal, and all it took was hearing him sing the second verse before her eyes were involuntarily drawn to him, her heart following right behind. She'd realized how long it had been since she last heard him sing, and how much she had missed it. The way he started off the verse low and steady and then slowly started to build. And – oh god – the rasp he added to his voice as he and Reggie harmonized.

She didn't know if it was because Bright brought back memories of one of her most charged moments with Luke (a moment she used to think about when she would wonder if maybe he liked her too), or if it was just because it was Luke, but making music with him again made her feel connected to him again. A connection that had been lost since Senior Takeover.

But then he caught her eyes with his own and shot her a tentative smile, reminding her that there were walls set in place, that there were reasons she had to keep her distance, and the spell was broken.

But it scared her how easily she was able to fall back into it. Into their music. Into him.

He doesn't care about you. He came back days before he saw you. He never reached out.

(At what point did self-preservation just become torture?)

It was the most mentally draining rehearsal of Julie's life.

Every time Luke so much as opened his mouth or played a guitar riff she felt like she had to physically stop herself from becoming putty in his hands. Eventually, she decided to just call it a day, because she didn't know if she could handle another note from him.

She'd always known that they had a bond through music – it was, after all, how they had become friends in the first place – but she hadn't realized how deeply she felt it until it had lay dormant in her for months. And now it was coming back full force.

She was grateful that Luke had practically booked it out of the studio after practice because the last thing she needed was to see him linger and joke around with Alex and Reggie as they packed up. Otherwise, she might have done something stupid, like join in.

But he had left, and the other two boys followed shortly after, and then Julie was finally by herself.

She decided to straighten up the studio a bit, get her head on straight before she joined her dad and Carlos in the house. It was only when she'd started organizing the sheets of music at the piano, she realized Luke had left his songbook. It was a different one than what he used to bring to their song writing sessions; newer, not as worn in. And judging by the Space Needle sketch printed on the cover, she assumed he'd bought it during his time in Seattle. She picked it up gingerly, the knowledge that she was holding something Luke possessed so dearly igniting something from within herself she didn't even know existed.

God, was she really that deprived of him?

Examining it further, she noticed a loose sheet of paper poking out from inside. It was as if he had ripped it out and crumpled it up before changing his mind and trying to fit it back in.

That was different. Luke was never the type to try and rid his songbook of ideas.

"You never know. The weirdest, most random idea could make the best song one day. Just look at Smells Like Teen Spirit," he'd told her one time during their junior year. "Teen Spirit is literally a brand of deodorant. One of Kurt's friends thought he smelled like it, he ran with it and thus, one of the greatest songs of all time was born."

She had teased him about it at the time, at how his love for Nirvana and Kurt Cobain never ceased to amaze her (which, now that she thought about it, probably explained Seattle), but now it gave her pause. He was deeply committed to that outlook on song ideas.

What was it about that page that made him second guess himself?

She knew she shouldn't have looked at it. She really did. But she'd just gone an entire band practice trying to smother their musical connection, and she was mentally exhausted and holding the book in her hands reminded her of when he used to willingly share his ideas with her and she just missed him so much she could practically feel her heart aching.

Just a peek. That was all she needed.

But the second she saw the title she knew there was no way a peek would cut it.

Unsaid Emily.

She had to sit down the further she read, the sheer pain and regret and sadness leaping off the page and leaving her breathless, her reasons for her anger vanishing for the moment. Luke put his heart and soul into every song he wrote, but this was different. He was bearing his heart and soul. She could feel everything.

Before Luke ran away, Julie had an inkling that he didn't always get along with his parents, and him living in Bobby's garage since he'd come back all but confirmed that theory. But she didn't know why, and she didn't know it was to the extent where he felt like his only solution was to leave.

But reading this song, experiencing his emotions through his own words for herself, she wanted to know.

She wanted to know everything about him.

That next Saturday, Julie found herself standing in the driveway of the Patterson's house.

This was a bad idea. She hadn't seen Luke's parents since her mother's funeral. What if they didn't recognize her? Not to mention her and Luke still weren't speaking. The closest they'd gotten to a normal conversation outside of band practice was when she'd given him his songbook back at school. And even then, she'd basically just shoved the book into his hands before he let out a "thanks" and she merely nodded in response.

It was embarrassing, really. Not her finest moment.

It wasn't that she didn't want to talk to him. Her anger toward him had simmered down immensely after reading Unsaid Emily, but it didn't change the fact that she was still hurt and confused by the entire situation. Plus, it wasn't like he was making an effort to talk to her, either, with the way he would scamper out of rehearsals as soon as they were done or go silent any time Reggie or Alex included her in a conversation.

Julie sighed, refocusing her thoughts on the matter at hand. See Luke's parents, get some answers, go from there. That was what she was there to do. With one last deep breath, she marched up to the front door of the Patterson's house and rang their doorbell.

For a few moments, nothing happened. She started to wonder if she'd visited at a time when no one was home and was almost ready to leave when suddenly, the door was pulled open to reveal Emily Patterson.

Julie blinked, momentarily panicking, forgetting what she even wanted to say. "Hi, um, I'm not sure if you remember me but-"

"Julie Molina," Emily interrupted and, right. Of course they'd recognize her. They had given her name to the police, after all. A kind smile spread across Emily Patterson's face and Julie couldn't help but notice the similarities her smile held with Luke's. "I couldn't forget you. Gosh, you look so much like your mother."

Julie blushed. While her mom was sick and in the first year or so after she'd died, she hated when people would compare her to her mom. Now, she considered it to be one of the highest forms of compliments a person could give her. To Julie, Rose Molina was the most beautiful person she had known, inside and out. When people recognized her mom in her, she felt as if a part of Rose was still there.

"Thank you," she responded.

"Where are my manners," Emily exclaimed. "Please, come in!"

The woman ushered Julie inside, leading her to their living room as she called for her husband. As they were waiting, Julie took the opportunity to look around, examining the house where Luke had grown up. It was a modest house, nothing too fancy but perfectly functional, the walls decorated with pictures of family and friends. It was a house that exuded comfort and love and all it did was confuse Julie even more as to why Luke would leave it all behind.

Her eyes zoned in on a photo sitting on an end table of a little boy with bright eyes in a dinosaur onesie, laughing joyously with his arms out in front of him as if reaching for the person behind the camera.

"That's Luke," a new voice joined them in the room. "When he was two."

Julie tore her eyes away from the picture to find Mitch Patterson, wearing a similar welcoming smile to his wife as they both stood facing her.

"He, uh, he was a cute baby," she said.

Emily's smile dimmed, as if reliving old memories that were once sweet but now tainted. "Yes, he was."

Julie didn't know what to say. She wasn't even sure if they knew he was back. He was still living in Bobby's garage, and it was obvious that he hadn't been to his house since he'd returned.

"It's okay, Julie," Mitch said, as if reading her mind. "We know he's back."

"You do?"

Emily nodded. "Bobby's parents told us. They caught Bobby one night sneaking food into their garage. They're letting him stay there for the time being. Plus, the school called to inform us as well."

Julie blinked. They…knew he was back? And still hadn't tried to see him? If Julie was in Luke's position, she knew her dad would have stopped at nothing until he saw her again with his own eyes, making sure she was one hundred percent safe.

"Why haven't you tried to see him yet?"

The couple shared a look before turning back to her.

"It's very complicated. Luke's very complicated," Mitch replied carefully. "And he's eighteen now, so it's not just our decision, and he's made it clear that he wants nothing to do with us at this time. Our hope is that if we give him enough space he'll come to his senses and come back."

Julie shook her head, even more confused than before. "Come to his senses? About what?"

"About music," Emily said apprehensively.

"Music?" Julie squeaked out, shaking her head in confusion. "I'm not following."

Mitch sighed, shooting her a gentle smile that also felt a bit condescending. "Luke's got this crazy idea that music is something he can do for a living. It's not realistic. Now don't get us wrong, we love music too. It's great to listen to, or even for Luke, to be a hobby, but it's a hard business to get into. The chances of him making it are slim to none. We're just trying to protect him."

And suddenly, all the pieces clicked into place. Julie was floored. She had picked up that his parents weren't necessarily happy about his budding music career, but for them to disapprove so much to the point where it pushed Luke to run away…She couldn't imagine what her life would have been like growing up without her parents supporting her passions.

How could they say that about their own son? Deny him the one thing he couldn't live without?

Julie took a deep breath, attempting to collect her thoughts before she started pushing her opinions on two almost-strangers who happened to create the person she was in love with.

"You know, after my mom died, Luke was the person who got me to start playing music again."

The couple exchanged another uneasy look.

"Well, that's wonderful Julie, but-"

She cut Emily off, repeating the words Luke had said to her once upon a time. Words she had carried with her every day since.

"He told me that music can be so many things. It can be about anything. It's just a matter as to what you want your music to be about. What you want your life to be about."

Neither of them responded, so she kept going.

"Don't you see? You're wrong."

So much for not pushing her opinions.

The Patterson's looked taken aback. "Excuse me?"

Julie took a couple steps toward them, her own passion for music shining through. She felt a bit like she was channeling her inner Luke. "Luke doesn't love music. I mean, he does, but it's more than that. He lives and breathes it. Life and music, they're the same thing to him. In his mind, one doesn't exist without the other. It's the one thing, the one thing on this earth that he will always be one hundred percent sure of. If you've seen him play, you'd know that."

The Patterson's looked uncomfortable. Not angry though, not like she'd overstepped, so Julie took that as a win.

Mitch cleared his throat before finally speaking. "It…It has been a while. Since we've seen him play, that is."

"Well maybe you should," Julie responded. "Because he just…he comes alive. His smile covers half of his face and his eyes shine bright in a way they never do when he's not on a stage and he plays each time like it's his last time. He was born to be a musician."

A loud silence filled the room as Julie processed what she'd just said. As she did so, she realized that she'd probably just made her feelings for Luke Patterson pretty clear. To his parents.

She'd outed herself to Luke's parents.

"That's, um. Yes, I suppose he has always liked to be in front of a crowd," Emily said.

Julie was grateful she'd decided to skip past the majority of what she'd said, but they'd gotten slightly off topic and she felt she had to steer them back.

"Look. I know you love him, and you think you're doing what's best. But Luke chose music, and it chose him back. I think the last few months have proven he's going to pursue it whether you support it or not. So wouldn't you rather just accept it and be able to be a part of his life?"

This time, neither responded at all, so Julie took that as her cue to leave.

"Please just think about it. It was nice to see you both again."

And then she turned and walked out of the house, breathing a sigh of relief the moment she stepped out the door.

Did she really just do that? She was a seventeen-year-old girl who'd practically just told two people how to parent their son. Even so, she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Because she finally felt like she understood at least a fraction of the equation that made up Luke Patterson.

Julie spent the next few days on edge, wondering if she'd made any sort of impact with Luke's parents. She didn't know what she expected, really. A high school girl who was clearly just in love with their son probably couldn't do much in the grand scheme of things.

Nevertheless, she couldn't help but feel dejected when a week passed by and she hadn't heard any chatter from anyone about a possible reconciliation between the two parties. She'd figured they decided to not listen to her and that was that.

Until one day they were at band practice, and there was an undeniable tension hanging in the air.

In retrospect, the tension wasn't new. There always seemed to be some sort of unease during practice, usually radiating from Julie towards Luke. But this time, it was flipped. On a normal day, Luke would stay quiet, resigned, and as out of the way as possible to avoid Julie's wrath (not that she had much in her anymore, but he didn't know that), but would still attempt to catch her eye when he'd open his mouth to sing. But now, although he was still quiet, his entire being radiated anger, his jaw clenched and his shoulders stiff as he refused to even look her way.

Maybe he was officially done with her. She'd finally pushed him away for good.

After they were done, Julie started tidying up the studio. It had become a part of her post-rehearsal routine at this point. One of the downsides of being in a band with three teenage boys? Everything they touched became an immediate mess. She didn't mind, though. It gave her time to think and relax after days full of school and music and Luke.

A part of her wondered if she should just quit the band altogether. Obviously, things between her and Luke had gotten worse, not better, and that wouldn't make for a very successful group in the long run. Maybe she should just cut them loose now, let them go back to being Sunset Curve instead of…whatever they were with her.

Her thoughts were cut off by a shuffling sound, and she turned around, startled, only to see Luke standing by the doors to the studio with his backpack in hand, lingering.

"God, Luke! You scared me," she exclaimed, her hand immediately flying over her heart as if that would stop it from racing.

But Luke ignored her, diving straight to the point. "My parents texted me yesterday."

Oh.

Well, that explained the tension.

"Okay," she tried to act nonchalant. She was pretty sure it wasn't working.

"They said they want to come to our next gig."

Julie turned back toward the piano, pretending to sort through the music to avoid looking at him. "That's great."

"They said it was you that convinced them."

Julie winced, but said nothing. She was so busted. She could hear him as he started to walk across the studio, and she figured that there was no getting out of this conversation, so she turned back around to face him. She was only half surprised when she saw his eyes were a stormy grey. She figured he'd be upset if and/or when he found out what she did, but it had been so long since she'd seen his angry eyes directed at her.

He made it halfway across the studio before he stopped to speak again. "See, the thing is, we never talked about my parents, Julie. So how the hell did you find out?"

Julie swallowed nervously but maintained eye contact with him. "When you left your songbook here last week. I saw the song you wrote for your mom."

His eyes widened in fear and she immediately knew what he was thinking.

"I swear, I didn't show it to them!" She clarified quickly. "I just went to talk to them."

The fear dissipated, but the anger remained, along with a bit of hurt seeping through the cracks. "But you still went through my stuff. That shit was personal, Julie. No one was meant to see it."

"I know, and I'm sorry. I just…I couldn't stop myself."

His brows furrowed in confusion, head slightly tilted to the side. "Why?"

She bit her lip, glancing at the floor for a second before looking back up at him. Well, she'd wanted him to make an effort to talk to her for weeks. This might be her only chance, so she might as well lay everything out for him.

"I just-I didn't understand," she said. He shook his head, letting her know he was still lost, so she clarified further. "Why you left, I mean. And we would always connect through music so I thought that if I looked at your songs, I would get it."

She saw him swallow, his Adam's apple bobbing up and down before he turned away from her, running a hand through his hair. He muttered something under his breath, but she couldn't quite make it out. And then suddenly, he whipped back around, closing the distance between them even more, eyes burning with an anger even stronger than before.

"You can't do that, Julie."

"I know, songbooks are off limits, I'm sor-"

"No, not that," he interrupted.

She paused, eyes widening at his words. Now she was the one confused. "Then what?"

He clenched his jaw, shaking his head vigorously. "You can't ignore my entire existence, and then act like you care, and then give me the cold shoulder again. God, it's giving me fucking whiplash!"

Julie's jaw dropped. What? No. Nuh uh. No way was he turning it on her like that. "I'm giving you whiplash? I'm not the one who left for a month, Luke! I'm not the one who didn't send even a singular text for two weeks to tell my friends they were alive! I'm not the one who came home but didn't tell you for two freaking days!"

Luke just shrugged emotionlessly; jaw clenched as he looked at a point over her shoulder. "Didn't think you cared."

Julie saw red. She stormed the rest of the way over to him, forcing him to look her in the eye.

"Didn't think I cared?" she spit out.

But Luke didn't back down as he bit back, matching her tone. "No, Julie, I didn't think you cared! It's kind of hard to think that when you spent the better half of the last five or so fucking years telling me you hate me, and then when I finally start to make progress with you, when we finally start to become friends, you decide to just drop me and ignore me like it all meant nothing!" He paused for a moment to take a breath. "So excuse me for thinking that you don't care."

He turned away from her, grabbing his backpack from the couch where he must have thrown it at some point during their argument. He started for the door, and Julie felt herself start to panic as everything began to spiral out of control. She had to do something to get it back. Because if he walked out now, after that, she had a horrible feeling the door to Luke Patterson might shut forever.

She had to say something, anything.

Without thinking, she all but leapt across the studio, throwing herself in front of him right as his hand was reaching for the door handle. "I saw you kiss Carrie!" she blurted out.

For the love of God, anything but that.

But Luke's hand fell back to his side, so at the very least she had caught his attention. "What?"

Julie looked away from him, unable to meet his eyes as memories of that night intruded her mind again. "At Senior Takeover. I walked in on the two of you kissing."

Feeling a touch braver, she risked a glance at him, relieved to see that his eyes had lost a bit of their anger. He shook his head softly. "That wasn't-we were just-"

"I know. Carrie told me while you were gone. I'm sorry, I should have just talked to you about it when it happened. But I didn't and now we're here."

He shot her the same confused look from earlier, but this time his eyes were their normal greenish brown. Neutral. "So that was why you…Julie, what are you saying?"

She gulped. Was she really about to do this? After all the time she'd spent practicing self-preservation and keeping her Constants her Constants and…fuck it. She had already lost control a long time ago. Might as well go all in.

"I'm saying that I was sad, and angry, and…jealous at the thought of…" she trailed off, embarrassed to finish her thought, and also at how ridiculous the idea of him and Carrie were now. "I care, Luke. I care a lot."

He reached up as if to touch her face, but then decided against it. "Jules."

Her eyes fluttered shut for a moment at the nickname. At the way he was so close to her his breath ghosted across her face. "Can I please just say this? I need to get this out because I don't know if I'll ever find the courage to say it again."

He was silent, so she took that as her cue to keep going. "Did you know the police questioned us about you disappearing?"

He nodded, guilt seeping into his features. "The boys mentioned it."

"They said you were most likely a runaway, but that they had to cover all the bases just in case." She drew in a shaky breath. "God, Luke, do you know what that's like? The rumors I heard around school? The thought that, even just for a second, the person you're in love with is just gone one day? That you might never see them again? It was like I…like I couldn't breathe."

Luke looked absolutely floored. His backpack he had slung over his shoulder dropped to the ground, but Julie barely paid it any mind.

"In love with…huh? You love me?"

Julie shot him a small smile, an attempt to relieve some of the tension, but she was sure it looked sadder than it was supposed to. "It surprised me, too. But I uh, I've been told that there's a thin line between love and hate, so…"

He was looking at her differently now. A look she couldn't quite decipher, but she was pretty sure she liked it, so she kept going.

"I was so mad at you Luke. I'm still mad. And if I'm being honest, I think it's going to take me a while to get over it."

Luke suddenly looked panicked. "Y-you mean get over being mad, right? Not over me? Because Jules, I'm in love with you too. You have to know that. God, if you take one thing away from this conversation, know that I love you, and I have for a long time."

What? He loved her? He actually loved her?

Julie could practically feel herself melt as he reached up with both hands again, this time finally cupping her face. He was hesitant at first, but when she didn't pull away, he pressed against her cheeks harder, more confidently.

"Me leaving had nothing to do with you," he reassured her. "In fact, I almost didn't because of you. I didn't want to be away from you."

She felt tears spring into her eyes and before she could stop them, they were falling down her face. But then, there were Luke's thumbs, ready to catch them and gently wipe them away.

"But you did," she whispered.

He sighed, his face crumpling in pain. "I had to. For me. I needed to figure some shit out on my own," and, well, that confession left her wondering if there was more to Seattle than he initially let on.

Julie sniffled, and she could feel the rollercoaster in her stomach ticking its way up to the top in anticipation. "Well can you be done now? Because I really, really missed you."

A big grin spread across his face as he let out a slight chuckle. "Yeah. Yeah, I'm done."

And then he kissed her. And it was like all the rollercoasters from before were just the small peaks, the warm-ups, all preparing her for the grand finale. Because when his lips melded with hers for the first time, she felt the big drop. And finally, finally, she allowed herself to embrace the feeling.

It was soft and gentle at first as they both tested the waters, marveling at the new sensation. There were awkward fumbles as their hands hit each other as Luke tried to move his from her face to her waist at the same time she tried to wrap hers around his neck, causing Julie to pull back as she let out a tiny giggle.

But Luke quickly silenced her as he pulled her back in, and he must have seen something on her face when they had broken apart because this time was different. He was steadier, more confident, as he softly pushed her against the doors of the studio, his lips pressed firmly against hers.

It didn't surprise her that, like everything else in his life, Luke kissed her with passion. Like he put his entire focus into that single moment. She could feel his energy radiating off him, but even so, she knew he wouldn't take it any further unless she made the first move.

And she definitely wanted to.

So she guided his hands down and past her waist until they rested on her upper thighs before hooking one of her legs around him. Thankfully, he seemed to know what she wanted, and he hoisted her up, pinning her even further into the doors as she wrapped both of her legs around his waist. After her green light, Luke stopped holding back. His lips slanted over hers in another searing kiss, his tongue running along her lower lip as he asked her for permission. She instantly granted it, wanting to become as acquainted with every part of Luke as quickly as possible. Eventually he broke away, working his way across her jaw and down her neck leaving a trail of fire in his wake.

Julie let out a sigh of content, threading her fingers through his messy hair, pulling him closer because she could do that now.

"Luke," she breathed as he pressed open-mouthed kisses where her neck met her shoulder. She could feel him against her, and as he looked up at her as she said his name, she saw that his eyes were that enticing cobalt blue she'd only seen a few times before and…

Oh.

That's what that color means.

They explored each other for what could have been hours, minutes, Julie didn't know anymore. And frankly, she didn't really care. It felt like years of tension, moments, and misplaced feelings had all led up to this. To them. She knew they still had a lot to talk about. A lot to work through. But she loved him and he loved her and this was a start.

Eventually, their kisses became less urgent and sweeter, so Luke gently squeezed her thighs, indicating he was going to put her down. Julie practically whined in protest (a fact she will refute for years to come) but unwrapped her legs from around him so her feet could find the ground again.

Luke's hands slid back up her body so he could cup her face again, and only then did Julie get a good look at him. His lips were bright red and slightly swollen, looking thoroughly kissed, and his cheeks flushed pink as he looked down at her in complete awe, like she was the most precious thing he'd ever seen. Julie felt a rush of affection and pride course through her, knowing that she was the one to do that to him.

"God, you're so beautiful," he whispered quietly, almost like a confession even she wasn't supposed to hear.

How had it taken her this long to realize everything?

His eyes were no longer cobalt, but instead mixes of blues and browns and greens and greys and…

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

It was only when Luke frowned, a rush of hurt and confusion crossing his face as he started to pull away Julie realized that hadn't been in her head. She immediately found the belt loops on his jeans, gently pulling him back to her in reassurance.

She felt his body relax against hers, but he still looked nervous as he said, "That, uh, wasn't really the reaction I was expecting. What's going on?"

Julie huffed in annoyance. "Your eyes! I thought I had finally figured them out but now there are fucking flecks of gold in them and I've never seen that before. Like seriously, what color are they?"

Luke just stared at her, a bewildered yet slightly amused expression overtaking his features at her rambling and obvious frustration.

"Uh, aren't they just hazel?" he said simply.

Julie narrowed her eyes at him, which just made Luke smile even more, his deer-in-headlights face coming out full force. She'd been driving herself insane since middle school trying to figure out what color his eyes were, and he had the audacity to say they were 'just hazel'?

Abso-fucking-lutely not.

"No, Luke. They are not hazel. They can't be hazel when they change every time your mood does."

There was a pause.

He raised an eyebrow.

Oh god, he thought she was crazy.

"You're telling me my eyes…change color?"

Yep. He definitely thought she was crazy.

"Yes! I've been trying to figure it out for years!"

She felt like Charlie in It's Always Sunny trying to explain his Pepe Silvia conspiracy theory.

Luke bit his lip in an attempt to hide his smile, momentarily distracting Julie as she remembered that she could kiss him whenever she wanted now and watching him bite his lip made her want to bite his lip and-

"Well, what colors are they?"

Right! Eye color. They were talking about his eyes.

"Well," she started, refocusing herself, "From far away or in dark lit areas, they look brown. I thought they were brown the first time I saw you. But then when you got closer, I realized that they looked more green than brown."

"Isn't that what hazel is?" He said teasingly, interrupting her. "Brownish green?"

She lightly slapped him in the stomach. "I'm not done!"

He held up his hands in mock surrender for a moment before placing them on her waist, his thumbs brushing across the skin her crop top left exposed, sending a shiver through her. She could tell he noticed her reaction from the way he smirked at her, but she didn't want to feed his ego any more than she knew this whole eye thing was about to, so she ignored him.

"When you're thinking or in a serious conversation, they're brownish-green with grey mixed in," she continued. "And when you're looking to argue or are just straight up angry, they're a full-on stormy grey."

Julie knew she had his attention now, if the enthralled look he was giving her was anything to go by.

"Then they're this dark, cobalt blue when you're…uh…let's just say I found that out when you had me pinned against the wall," she said slyly, a smirk dancing on her lips.

Luke's eyes widened as his cheeks flushed pink, and Julie couldn't stop herself from laughing. It wasn't too often Luke Patterson got embarrassed. She placed a chaste kiss on his lips, barely even giving him time to respond, before pulling away and reaching up to stroke his hair, pushing his bangs off his forehead. Her hand moved down to caress his cheek and her voice dropped to a soft whisper as she continued.

"When you're sad, they're this vibrant, light blue, which is completely unfair because they're gorgeous, but I hate seeing you sad."

He smiled softly at her, leaning in to brush his nose against hers before pressing his forehead gently against her own.

"And when you're playing music, Luke, they're all of the above."

His eyebrows twitched slightly as he gazed at her with such wonderment it left her breathless and unsure how to react. Luckily, she didn't have to, because he took the opportunity to seize her lips with his own, kissing her tenderly, only to pull away seconds later, looking as if he'd just unlocked all the secrets to the universe.

"Wait," he said carefully, as if all the puzzle pieces were finally clicking in his head. "The first time we met, you just stared at me. All this time I thought you were glaring, but were you-"

"I was trying to figure out what color your eyes were," she confessed, already feeling the blush spreading over her face.

She saw the corners of Luke's mouth start to tilt up into his signature smirk, so she added on quickly, "But I was also glaring at you. Because I was mad I couldn't figure it out."

He laughed at her. A full-on belly laugh that (embarrassingly) made Julie weak in the knees. "Wow Juliet, you really are in love with me."

Julie's jaw dropped. Okay, not so weak in the knees anymore.

"I hate you."

He threw her another smirk, shaking his head playfully. "Nuh uh. You said you loved me. And I'm calling no take backs."

Well, it wasn't like she really wanted to take it back, so she decided kissing him again was her best move.

She peppered kisses all over his face before working her way down his jawline just as he'd done with her, her targeted destination being his pulse point. But yet again, Luke had other ideas.

"Hey Jules?"

She hummed in response, not fully ready to abandon her plans.

"You didn't mention what the gold flecks in my eyes mean."

"Don't know. Haven't seen them before," was her rushed response.

"Oh."

But she could practically feel his mind churning. Yeah, he wasn't going to let this go. She sighed pulling away to look at him again. He looked a bit sheepish as he realized that he was, essentially, cock-blocking himself, which for some reason made her soften a bit.

God, she was so far gone on him.

"Well, what are you feeling right now?" Julie asked.

Luke smiled sweetly and shrugged. "Happy. Here with you, I'm happy."

She blushed and scrunched her nose, biting the inside of her cheek in a half-assed attempt to stop a smile. (Spoiler alert: it failed. Miserably.)

"That was really cheesy."

Luke laughed again. "Hey, just call me Romeo."

And then he captured her lips again.

So yeah.

There were still a lot of things Julie didn't know. The world was big and the world was crazy and she was learning to take every moment, every change, in stride. But at that particular moment in time, she had three truths, three Constants, that she didn't see changing anytime soon.

Number 1. She loved her family more than anything else in the world.

Number 2. She lived and breathed music.

Number 3. Julie Molina knew, without a doubt in her mind, that she was absolutely in love with Luke Patterson.

And this time, there wasn't much to unpack.

Because, well, it was pretty obvious, wasn't it?

Thanks for reading! I'm not sure how much more I'll be posting on FFN, but I'm fairly active on AO3 as well as Tumblr if you want to find me there! Both also are under the name Claire8216.

Songs/Other References:
-I Heard Your Voice In A Dream, Jeremy Jordan from SMASH (Chapter Title)
-Bright
-Smells Like Teen Spirit, Nirvana
-Unsaid Emily
-It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia, 4x10