Not in chronological order, but the boys' ages will be listed at the top of every chapter.

Ed, 16. Ling, 15, Yuery 18 mos

Takes place just before they leave the cabin. Greed gets tired of the overly energetic toddler.

Just Why?

Darius and Heinkel were suspiciously absent. They had been more often lately, and though they swore it had nothing to do with Yuery's sudden hatred of pretty much everything he used to like Greed didn't believe them.

Here he was, just trying to keep the kid and his kid alive so that maybe they could possibly save the world from his worthless father and he could rule the world, and the baby was making this job too hard! Why did everything have to be a fight with this thing?

Every day the kid popped out of bed impossibly early, even though Greed tried to reason with him, he explained patiently that everyone was still asleep and if he got up now he would be cranky by midmorning. The kid ignored him and would proceed to attempt to wake the injured alchemist that he belonged to. Greed would then attempt to distract him by offering him various objects that were technically forbidden by said alchemist.

About this time Edward would somehow know the kid was up, even though Greed managed to keep him quiet and wake up himself, usually in a panic as if someone had managed to sneak out here to the middle of nowhere and snatch the kid without alerting the people in the cabin. Which was kind of insulting considering there were two chimera and a homunculus in here.

Once Ed had been calmed and the pair of them fed, the chimeras would wake up and Greed would take a break. Because if he didn't get a few minutes to himself he would go crazy and that was not a good idea. Greed knew. He'd met Envy. He'd also met Lust. Stress was absolutely something he was going to avoid.

After breakfast and his break, Heinkel would threaten to tie Edward to the bed, then the chimera would disappear, and the hard part began. Neither Edward or Yuery were keen to just sit still anymore. Not that he really blamed them, it had been weeks of this. With both of them going stir crazy they were testing the edges of his sanity however.

Between keeping Ed in bed and trying to keep Yuery out of things, Greed was about to throw in the towel, take a vacation, and let that prince that use to have this body take back over for a couple of days. His frustration was obvious as he cleaned up yet another mess made by the toddler dumping his bucket of kindling all over the floor.

"This is ridiculous! I'm supposed to have minions! How did I end up being the minion of this tiny terror?" Greed muttered to himself.

"It's not being a minion, it's parenting." Ed said from his spot on the bed. "If you would just untie me I'd gladly do it instead."

"Yead and then you'd rip yourself back open and it would take you even longer to heal." Greed said. "You're no good to me dead Edward."

"You're being dramatic. I'm healed enough." Edward grumbled, as Greed washed his hands and approached to change Edward's bandages.

"You claim that, yet you tried to hide your injury to begin with so I don't believe you." Greed said.

"I'm fine, and you need to keep an eye on him." Ed said grumpily.

"I know exactly what he's doing and you need to have your dressings changed so just sit still."

"Really, because right now he's dumping everything out of YOUR bag." Edward said as he pointed at his son behind them.

Greed turned around to see that Edward was telling the truth, the child had found Greed's pack and was happily throwing his spare socks and underwear all over the couch. He took a calming breath. It wouldn't do to loose his temper on the small boy. The baby didn't know any better, he hadn't yet learned how to behave like a minion. He approached slowly, having learned already that startling the boy never ended well. "Yuery, kid. C'mon give me a break here kiddo. Wouldn't you like to play with your things instead?"

"No." the baby replied as he removed another pair of socks and unrolled them before throwing them over his head.

"Look kid. I'm trying to be nice here. I need you to stop and go play with your own things." Greed tried again.

"No." the boy repeated.

"Okay. I'm trying really really hard here but you're pissing me off kid." Greed said as he gathered the thrown clothes and began refolding them.

"Piss!" the boy said and Greed glanced at Edward to see if he was going to yell over his kid picking up the word. Edward was staring hard at the upper bunk and biting his lip. At first Greed thought he was attempting to hide pain with his slightly flushed cheeks, before he realized Edward was trying not to laugh.

"Well, what do you recommend then? That doesn't involve getting up?" Greed said, frustrated at being mocked by both father and child.

"You mean you' actually let me handle my own child right now?" Ed asked.

"Sure. Let's see you stop him from the bed." Greed said, crossing his arms over his chest and standing back so that he could watch and later mock Edward's attempt.

" Yuery Alphonse Mustang-Elric! Come here right now." Edward said in a tone of voice Greed had not heard before. The boy froze in place before climbing carefully off of the couch and walking over to his father. "Tell Greeling you are sorry then sit down."

"Sowy." The boy said before sitting on the bed next to Edward.

"How?" Greed asked, before turning away to go clean up the mess made by the toddler. Maybe now things could be peaceful, he thought when he glanced over to note that the boy had fallen asleep with Edward.

Things did not remain peaceful. Greed had stepped outside, roughly an hour later, to get some water from the well, and hopefully spot the wayward chimeras. When he returned the toddler was no longer asleep. Instead he had managed to slip away from the still sleeping Edward and climb the ladder to the top bunk where he was now reaching up as if to touch the ceiling. Greed dropped the bucket. He rushed toward the kid as quickly and quietly as possible to avoid startling the toddler or wake the teen, who would likely jerk causing the toddler to topple.

He reached for the small boy, who in turn moved further away with a loud "No".

Again he reached for the child, this time as he said, " Stop it! You're going to fall and die and then you'll be hurt and Edward will blame me!" He managed to snag the boy around the waist and stepped down off the ladder with the kid under his arm.

"You know that statement made absolutely no sense right?" Edward said from the bed.

"Just, why?" Greed said in return.

"Why what?" Ed asked.

"Why would he climb up there? Why would you wait until I'd climbed down to let me know you were awake? WHY DOES ANYONE WANT ONE OF THESE? Just why?"

"Well. Toddlers are curious and fearless. I didn't want to startle you and make you drop him. Because most of the time they are wonderful." Edward said as he reached his free arm out to indicate he wanted the boy back.

Greed stared at him blankly, even as Ling whispered that Greed knew Ed was right and most of the time the kid was pretty good, it was just a bad couple of days. He put the kid down next to Ed, then went to go clean up the water he had spilled when he dropped the bucket.

As he finished cleaning it up Darius and Heinkel came back inside, each carrying a heavy box of canned goods, which explained where they had been the last few hours. He huffed at the pair of them as he dusted off his pants, before pointing at the now once again sleeping toddler and teen. "Keep an eye on them. I'm taking a damn break." Greed demanded. He then stomped out of the cabin.

That was it. He was done. He was never going to be a parent because kids are crazy. Even as he thought it, he knew that he was attached to the brat though. He would hate to have anything happen to him. He was certainly going to miss those hugs and giggles when all this was over. Greed shook his head at this. So much for staying detached.