Chapter 6

A few hours later

After Meredith had brought the kids to bed, she went into the kitchen to get some water for Andrew and herself, knowing that the alcohol of their wine they had usually taken together on such evenings didn't work well with the medication Andrew had to take. And so, she settled for water for both of them. She took the glasses and the water and then went into the living room and sat down on the couch with Andrew.

She felt Andrew's eyes on her once she had come back into the room, following her with them until she sat down next to him, feeling herself smile a little when she noticed it. She offered him some water, which he thankfully accepted, before she took a sip from her own glass. She tucked her feed up on the couch, sitting sideways, so she could look at Andrew.

"How are you?" She asked softly, tilting her head slightly. Something she has started to imitate after spending quite some time with him, having noticed that he liked to do it when he was looking at her.

"I'm good." He answered, giving her a smile.

They sat there in silence for a moment, looking at each other with their smiles when Meredith started again. This time more sincerely, the deeper meaning audible in her voice "And how are you doing?"

"I'm... okay. Actually, I'm feeling good." Andrew started slowly, taking a moment to listen to himself, to his mental well-being. "When my symptoms started..." He started still in his thoughts, turning a little more towards Meredith, so he could look at her better before he added slowly "I felt alone... I felt ignored... I felt betrayed in some way... and then when I got my diagnosis... I felt ashamed... I felt scared... I have never felt so much pain before... and I was looking for something to fight for, but I couldn't see it. But now... I feel like I found my own self, I know who I am. And just because I have this illness, I won't let it take away my dreams or ideas for how I want to live." He finished his thought more determined and added with a small smile "I feel like I found my way to look forward. I found my strength. And... I still have moments where I am scared that I might have another manic episode, but overall... I feel like I can look forward and live my life without diminishing whatever I want to have in my future."

Meredith nodded slightly, giving him a small smile while absorbing everything Andrew had just told her. Feeling herself a little lighter, knowing that Andrew felt good, that he had found that something in himself to want to look forward.

"How are you?" She heard Andrew asking her gently after another minute.

"I'm..." She sighed thinking about it for a moment "...exhausted." She continued and added "Just the smallest things make me feel like I had run a whole marathon except I know that I only went down the stairs. I hate to stay in bed and not be able to do anything, knowing that there is a pandemic out there and they need all the help they can get. But I don't even have enough strength inside me to make it to the hospital..." She trailed off, fumbling with her hands, trying to show him what she meant.

And just by the way Meredith was talking, Andrew noticed how tired and not-well she was feeling. She has never been a person to overly express how bed she felt, especially when she knew that there were currently so many people out there who needed help, but to notice that she wasn't doing so well right now... For that he knew her long enough.

Andrew sat up a little more, putting his glass on the little table in front of the couch and then leaned towards Meredith, getting closer to her to bring her in his arms until she was leaning against him, letting herself be in his embrace again.

And for a moment they stayed like this, just enjoying their closeness, their comfort before Andrew pulled away just the slightest bit to be able to look at her a little better.

"Mer, I want you to know how thankful I am that you always show up when I need you. I am so grateful that you didn't give up on me and that you didn't leave my side until I accepted help. You really saved me during that time. A time where I couldn't see a way forward. And where I didn't want to see a way forward with this illness. And... I want you to know that... if you want me to... I want to be there for you too. I don't want to be anywhere else than with you."

Meredith had turned her head a little to be able to look up at him while still being in his embrace. When she heard him say these things, she just kept looking at him, trying to let his words sink in. She wasn't quite sure how to react or what to say, only feeling a small timid smile appear on her face before she slowly felt herself leaning towards him, leaning in to kiss him. And he let her, deepening the kiss the longer they stayed like this, feeling her lips against his again.

"Andrew..." Meredith whispered after a moment, slightly pulling away to look up at him. But not wanting to let go of this feeling, this kiss, just yet, she leaned in one more time before she tried to distract herself a little from his embrace. "Good night, Andrew." She said softly, not able to hide her smile now.

"Mer..." Andrew whispered in response, not wanting her to go, making a move to be closer to her again.

"You... stay on the couch." She said, teasing him slightly. But the way she said it, looking at him with that smile on her lips, knowing that she didn't regret what happened, he couldn't even be mad at her.

"Okay. But..." Andrew leaned in one more time, bringing her closer to him again to be able to kiss her one last time.

"Good night, Mer." He added when they pulled away, giving her a small smile before he let her go upstairs.

He knew that she wanted to be close to him too; that she wanted to be with him. Otherwise, she wouldn't let him stay at her house... But at the same time, he could feel that she was holding herself back. It has always been her way of self-protection since he met her... And he loved her for the woman she was. He just wished he knew what exactly she felt like she needed to protect herself from now... because they had been a lot farther than this before... but he also knew that a lot has happened since then...

But for now, he was just happy that she seemed like she wanted them to get closer again as well.

End of Chapter 6