Thank you for the reviews.

Okay, I know. We've gone from the end of July to Christmas in 7 chapters. Mainly because I need to get Rachel back to work at some point soon. And it does kinda work as a bit of a snapshot of how things have changed over the period. Plus, we are all missing the school drama, aren't we?

A Proper Little Christmas

"Well, I now know I was never made to be a housewife." Rachel said as she started to clear up from dinner.

"Agreed," Eddie said before he backtracked. "I mean, I agree that you are definitely a working woman and your talents would be wasted if you weren't at work."

Eddie couldn't help but feel that there was still this uncomfortableness between them and he hated it. He actually hated it more that they still hadn't talked. But with Jamie and Amelia quickly popping their heads into the kitchen to say that they were going out and not to wait up for them, Eddie knew that they would have time, by themselves, to talk. Mainly because when Jamie and Amelia were undecided about going out, he had encouraged them to go out for that reason.

"Rachel. Please." He said a few moments after the front door had closed.

"What?"

"I think I know you better now. I think I know that you are trying to pull away."

"Eddie…"

"I want to be a part of this."

"You don't have to be." Rachel said as she turned to him.

"I am. I told you ages ago. I want to be there for you."

"But this isn't fair on you."

Eddie sighed before he walked over to one of the drawers and pulled out the folded-up bit of paper that Jamie had given him.

"Here." He said, handing it to her.

"What is it?"

"The reason Jamie has let me in. The reason he has finally let everything go."

Like he was, he was sure that Rachel didn't want to know what the paper held, but the curiosity got the better of her, taking the paper and unfolding it to read it. There were times when Eddie couldn't read what Rachel was feeling. But in that moment, it was like she was an open book of emotions and he was sure that he had got her.

"He said that I wasn't going to get it any sooner. Unless he copied it out loads of times and sent it to every male Lawson in the yellow pages, signing it with the son of Fenshaw." Eddie said as she looked back up at him. "Baby steps. We can take things nice and slowly. I said that I was here for you as a friend. Just… let me in, Rach. I can't help you otherwise."

"Eddie… you don't need the chaos that I create."

"Maybe we should have thought about that. When we were young and in a bar and had that night together. It is maybe the one thing that Jamie was right about. Everything goes back to that night for a reason. Rachel, I do believe we were meant to meet. I get that things have changed but not everything has changed."

Eddie watched her look back down at the letter before she folded it back up and gave it to him. He replaced it in the drawer and he hoped that he had got through to her.

"I wish things were as simple as you make them out to be." She said.

"I am sure that once you are back at work, things will be different. Once things are back to some sort of normality, things will be different. But I am here for you. Always, if you want."

There was a flicker for a moment where Eddie was sure that his comment relaxed her slightly before her mind took over and she seemed to visibly tense. He wished that he knew what was going on in her mind. He wished that he knew what to say to get her to open up to him. He wished that he knew what he had to do to prove his words.

He knew that he hadn't been able to make Rachel stay the night that they had when they were younger but that was a different story. In the here and now, they could stay with each other and make it work. It just seemed that Rachel was fighting it every step of the way.

Rachel had too much on her mind to sleep. It was why she had grinned and bared the last couple of months. Because she was sure that the moment she could throw herself back into her work, she would be able to start silencing the thoughts and she could wear herself out enough to get a good few hours of sleep rather than struggling to get a couple.

So James sneaking past her room and softly knocking on Amelia's door before he entered the room and she could hear the murmurs of their voices, gave her the perfect distraction as she was glad that things weren't that different and the twins weren't going to do the same thing that they had done since they were five.

But whether she liked it or not, this Christmas was going to be different. This was going to be the first Christmas since Robert that they were going to have it as a proper family. This was going to be the first Christmas that the twins were going to have with their dad.

And they couldn't really even do that properly with Melissa spending the day with them (apparently with it being hard to explain that to Eddie's mum).

Rachel almost got out of the bed to join her twins, with them probably knowing that she knew about their Christmas morning ritual. Instead, there was a light knock on her door, which made her sit up and tell them to come in.

"Jamie has just gone into Amelia's room," Eddie said as he closed the door behind him.

"Something that they have always done. They are just opening their stockings together. When they were younger, they used to share a room. So it was easier for them to do this sort of thing. But there were quite a few people who… thought it was weird for them to be sharing. I shouldn't have listened to them but I did and it led to a five-year-old James very loudly making his way to Amelia's room. He has got better at doing it, at least."

"Right."

Rachel knew that Eddie had given her many opportunities to tell him how she was feeling. He had given her many opportunities to let him in as well. And he was doing a good job of it. And that was why Rachel moved over slightly and pulled back the covers to welcome him into her bed for the first time since before the fire.

She felt like Eddie realised that all his hard work over the last couple of months hadn't gone to waste as he smiled at her before he joined her. Although she surprised them both by tucking herself into his side, with her thinking that if she threw herself into the moment, then she might push herself into the decision that she knew that she had to make. For all four of them.

"You know, I do worry about them," Eddie said.

"How?"

"Like how close they are. I mean, it is lovely and it's probably how I would want them to be. But Amelia was more than just angry at Jamie for running back in after you. And with them back to being how they are now." He sighed. "Nine months time, Amelia will be moving to Bath and Jamie is planning on going to Manchester and I just worry what the distance will do to them both."

"Bath is hard to get into."

"And I am sure she will get the grades. Is that what you've placed your hopes on?"

"No. No." Rachel said. "I put my hopes on that they will come back at Christmas and Easter and Summer. I do get what you mean, Eddie. They haven't done a great length of time without each other." She paused for a moment. "Well… all three of us actually. It's going to be hard for all of us."

"And that is why I worry."

"I thought I was the worrier."

Eddie snorted. "I suppose you are."

"They will be okay."

"Like we will be."

Rachel hadn't realised that she had grabbed ahold of Eddie's hand until she felt him gently stroking the back of her hand. If only Christmas was going to be the four of them. Maybe it would be the push that she needed.

"Just give me time, Eddie." She whispered. "Because I would hate to lose you from my life."

He pulled her a little closer. "For you, Mason, I have all the time in the world."

With how she was with Eddie that morning, Rachel wished that she could have spent the rest of the day like it. More so as the only thing that she wanted to do was to be curled up on the sofa with Eddie.

But they were keeping their distance (probably because of that morning) because of Melissa. Just because Rachel couldn't bring herself to find out whether Melissa had an alternative motive about her being reunited with Eddie. Although she kinda loved how hard it was for the twins not to call Eddie, Dad.

With Melissa drunkenly heading upstairs, Rachel could tell that everyone was frustrated with her decision to keep the truth from her sister.

"I'm sorry, Edward. But this feels a little ridiculous." Eddie's mum, Sue, said.

"I do have to agree with her Rach," Eddie said.

"I just… have a bad feeling." Rachel said.

"Don't blame you for that bad feeling," Philip said before he continued when everyone looked at him. "Just things that she has said."

"Like?" Rachel said.

"Well… y-y-you having twins never helped. I think she thought… you know. She would be the one. And probably the fact that you are waiting for this sort-of perfect man to walk back into your life."

"Only sort of perfect?" Eddie joked before he got two very stern looks off Rachel and Sue.

"I just understand your bad feeling, Auntie Rachel," Philip said.

"So do we," James said. "It is just bloody typical that it is the first time that she wants to stick around. No offence Philip."

"Well, we should have been here earlier."

"Still want to argue that she has had your back Mum?"

"Maybe I never argued it." Rachel said. "Look… Melissa. She grew up being Dad's little princess. I don't know what he taught her but… I don't want her to have control of the situation. The less she knows, the less power she has. I need to be in control."

Rachel was sure that she hadn't made the best impression on Sue with that comment but Melissa rejoined them, with her almost crashing into Rachel as she dropped onto the sofa next to her. And Rachel wished that the feeling that she was close to losing all the control again didn't rise in her. She wished that she didn't feel like she was close to playing another game. She wished that she could read Melissa as well as she could read Eddie. Just because it would make her life a lot easier.

And Rachel wouldn't be so worried that she might lose it all again.