Look At Me

'This is just Playa des losers' was Eva's first thought walking into the resort. Losing never sat right with Eva, but she was sort of proud of herself this one time. She didn't like going early, she had thought this one was going to be her season, but she was proud to not have lashed out in anger when she got the news.

This time it was different, right? She didn't get kicked off for being a scary monster, she got kicked off on her own terms. She took a risk, she went for a tie, and it failed, but at least she tried.

Also this time, she had Katie, who could still win and honor her. Eva knew, this was nothing like past seasons, this time things were alright, alright as they could be.

What wasn't so alright was that now she was stuck on a resort with Cody and Courtney of all people. She didn't fancy any of them. Eva thought Courtney was too full of herself, and Cody was too much of a people pleaser, they drove her nuts.

Or at least they would have driven her nuts if she was in a bad mood, in which she wasn't. She was content, and she felt she could deal with a couple of annoying people today without losing it completely.

That's not to say she was going to be nice to them, she had no reason to, and she didn't like people anyways, but she wasn't going to go for their necks at least they gave her a reason.

She entered the resort, there was a young man waiting for her at the reception. He looked stupid, and weak. He spoke.

"Miss Eva! Welcome! Everyone's eating breakfast right now, care to join them?"

"Where are they?" She raised an eyebrow.

"Over there, at the diner. Just walk through the door and you'll get there."

She stared at the door for a little, did she really want to go in? "Thanks, what's your name?"

"Mathew!"

"See you later, Mathew." Eva walked right through the door. Courtney and Cody were eating breakfast at one of the tables. They were laughing, seemingly having a lot of fun. Apparently it wasn't that funny, because they stopped smiling the moment Eva crossed that door.

"Oh… Hi Eva." Courtney seemed civil, so Eva attempted to be civil back.

"Hi… How've you been?"

"I've been well…"

"What about the little guy?"

"Me?" Cody was a tad frightened. "Good! All good, yeah."

"Glad." Eva went and served herself some breakfast and sat down with the two. The aura was… Uncomfortable to say the least, for everyone except for Eva.

Eva was staring at Courtney while she ate her food, Courtney found this very uneasing but didn't dare to say a thing. Cody was looking back and forth between them wondering if something had happened.

The situation continued for a while, until Mathew came in. Cody spoke up. "Hey Mathew! Buddy, friend! Didn't you need me to help you clean up the pool?"

"I don't rememb- Ouch!" Cody kicked him from under the table. "Yes! Of course sir, want to do it right now?"

"Uhh yes, please! I love cleaning pools."

"Haha, cleaning pools my beloved!" They spoke in a caricatured and exaggerated tone.

Soon, Mathew and Cody had left to do their business, and Eva and Courtney were left alone in the room… Just staring at each other.

"Could you-"

"Yes?" Eva interrupted.

"Could you not stare at me while I'm eating?"

"Why not?" Eva wasn't meaning to be aggressive, that's just how she was coming off.

"I don't like it."

"Well what else am I supposed to look at?"

"I don't know… The windows?"

"Ok then." Eva started looking outside instead of at Courtney. The brunette started eating more at peace, there was something bugging Eva's mind though. "Sorry."

"Oh, for what?"

"What did we just talk about?" She was annoyed.

"Oh, for staring at me?"

"Yeah."

"No problem... Thanks for stopping."

"No problem."

There was a sense of dryness going through. Courtney thought standing up and leaving would be too rude. Eva didn't care, she wasn't uncomfortable at all, this was just silence, and silence was nice to her, always had been.

"So… Kicked out, huh?"

"Sure…" Eva was still looking at the window.

"What happened? Cody told me you were with Katie."

"It wasn't enough… Zeke got lucky" She could see Cody and Mathew outside through the window. They were actually cleaning the pool, who would've guessed.

"I see… Well, winning is not for everyon-"

"What's that supposed to mean?" She took offense to that.

"That we can't all be winn-" Courtney was doing her best to make herself clearer. She didn't mean to act almighty in front of Eva, but that's what Eva was getting from her side.

"You're not a winner either Courtney." Eva on the other hand was sure Courtney was trying to compare her to herself. As it was so natural for her to do. She took offense to it.

"Oh! I know, I didn't mean th-"

"You're no better than me, ok? I ranked higher than you twice."

"I… I never said that!"

"Well, you were trying to."

"No I wasn't!" Courtney was pushing Evan's buttons. "I was just trying to cheer you up, jeez."

"Well great job at that." At no point did Eva make eye contact with Courtney, instead focusing on the window.

There was a small space of silence until Courtney spoke her mind. "Sorry."

"Sure…"

"No, I mean it! I don't even care about this dumb competition anyways."

Eva was surprised, intrigued. "You don't?"

"Well, I'm trying not to… It's better for me if I don't."

Eva thought of it a little bit. "Why is it better."

"Cause I should be caring about my friends, and my family, not some dumb TV show that doesn't even have prize money."

"Well, the glory is quite good."

"Is that what you sports people care about? The glory?" Courtney was trying to understand her.

"Yeah, anything wrong with that?"

"No! No, I just don't get it."

"Well, you wanted to win when you got here, right?"

"Yeah… I guess."

"Why?"

"I wanted to prove myself, but that's stupid, a competition won't prove myself."

"It won't?"

"Of course not!" Courtney's words really confused Eva. She had a different perspective.

"Winning would prove myself, that's why I wanted to win."

"Well maybe…" Courtney thought of it for a little bit. "Well, maybe the difference is whether you want it to prove yourself then."

"What does that mean?"

"I don't want a TV competition to validate me but… If you want it to, I guess you can."

"That's… sensible." Eva looked at Courtney. "Thanks."

"Sorry." She smiled timidly.

"Well yeah… Sorry."

"Oh of course, but thanks."

Eva stood up, which meant Courtney was allowed to stand up too. They took their plates away and waved each other goodbye. Courtney went to do her own thing, Eva was planning to spend some time by the pool. What she had forgotten is that Cody would be there, cleaning.

Cody was passing a shovel through the pool trying to pick up leaves. Eva knew perfectly that wasn't how it worked, but she was not thinking of telling him for now, it was really funny to watch.

Cody was murmuring to himself in a way Eva couldn't hear him. "Stupid Mathew, I didn't want to actually clean the pool." He said to himself while shoveling water like a doofus.

"You know, you need a net for those things." Eva cut through the silence in a mocking tone.

"A net? Where am I going to find a net?"

"There are these sort of net-shovels you're supposed to use."

"Net-shovels?"

"I don't know the name." Eva stood up and went to the supply hut. She looked around for a bit inside until she found the net-shovel thing, and threw it to Cody's face.

Instead of catching it, it hit Cody in the face, and he fell to the pool below. Coughing water, he managed to swim back to land and climb to safety. He laid on the ground looking at the sky for a few moments. "Thanks for that." He said, still a bit scared of the bully.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to." Eva chuckled while speaking. It was an accident, sure, but it was a funny one.

Cody covered himself in embarrassment. Sure he was scared of Eva but he still felt the need to impress her as with everyone else. "How did that thing with Courtney go?" Maybe if he embarrassed her they'd be on equal footing.

"Good."

"Good? Come on, you can tell me." He wasn't going to fall for it so easily.

"I said good, it was a nice talk."

Cody looked a bit confused. He sat up on the floor. "That's surely surprising…" He looked down a little and then back to Eva. "Well, I should get the net thingy you threw at me."

"No, let me get it for you."

"I insist… It's not like you can embarrass me further."

Eva was confused, and annoyed, she hated this attitude of Cody's. "What's that supposed to mean?"

"Oh well Courtney says I shouldn't settle for being a loser but I guess it's all I know how to do."

"Courtney tells you that?" That's oddly nice of her. "Well, she's right, you shouldn't settle."

"I don't know, tell that to my bullies."

"Bullies? Aren't you a pop sensation or whatever?"

"Was a pop sensation. And what good does that make now? The reason I have fans is because I'm lame, they pity me or they think the dorkiness is adorable."

Eva stood there in silence for a little, there was something about Cody that was so pathetic she just wanted to kill it… Or at least change it. "Stand up."

"Huh?"

"Did I stutter?"

Cody stood up. "What's wrong?"

"I'm gonna teach you to fight."

"What?!" Cody stepped back. "Hey, no one's asking you for this."

"You want to stop being lame?"

Cody didn't answer.

"You gotta beat their asses, they'll never forget it, that's how I was taught."

Cody scratched his head. "You were lame too?"

Eva smiled, avoiding the question. "Stance wide." She separated the boy's legs. "Body lowered." She pushed him down.

Cody was following instructions, he was doing that thing where he bit his tongue and it sticked out that so many of his exes thought was so adorable.

"Always give the first punch, don't wait for your opponent to strike. Now, you're not strong enough to hit the head, so go for the stomach, if the opponent has no abs they'll run out of air for a bit, and you can keep attacking."

"Oh ok." Cody practiced a punch.

"Ok, go for it."

"You mean punch you?"

"Yeah, look at me, and go for it."

Cody packed a punch into Eva's shoulder. He didn't put strength to it, actually hurt his hand more than it hurt her.

"Ah come on, what was that?"

"I don't want to hurt you…"

"Don't give me that bullshit, you're afraid if you give your best it won't be strong enough, is that it?"

"I-" How did she…?

"Fuck that, punch me, hard."

Cody swung a fist with all the rage he could, it hit Eva in the shoulder. He sighed. "It wasn't enough, right?"

"Cody I am made of stone, I'm sure that was good enough for someone else." She made a pause. "Also get your thumb out of your fist when you punch, you might break it."

"Oh… Right, yeah."

"You're small, you're agile, I'm sure you can dodge well."

"I'm good at dodgeball!"

"See? That's valuable practice."

"You're not going to punch me, are you?"

Eva struck Cody, she aimed for the head, but he dodged out of the way. "See? Good reflexes."

"Maybe I am good at this…"

"A couple of basic things:..." Eva spent the next hour or so explaining to Cody a couple of the basics. How to aim your movement with your elbow, to exhale on every punch, to breathe in when defending. Cody was a quick learner and a fast mover, they really built a bond over fighting that day.

They arranged to meet again tomorrow to keep training. Eva spent the rest of the day in her room, alone. She had a couple of nice things there: a punching bag, some exercising tools, the room was made for her really. At night she was attempting to sleep when she heard noises coming from downstairs.

When she came downstairs she heard laughter coming from the diner room. Inside there were Mathew and Courtney sharing a beer, and Cody sitting alongside them having a good time as well.

"Eva!" Courtney shouted. "Get over here girl." She seemed to be a little tipsy.

"Let's go easy with the drinks miss." Advised Mathew.

"Yeah, remember what happened last time." Cody didn't want to deal with a crying Courtney again.

"Oh, I'll be fiiine, come on Eva!" Courtney was signaling at her with her hand.

Eva complied, she saw no reason not to. She sat down with them, Mathew served her a beer. "Don't you have something stronger?"

"Woah there miss, heavy drinker?" Mathew mocked her, but she didn't care.

"Yes, actually."

"Can't a girl get a drink around here Mathew? Do your job!" Courtney said playfully, and Mathew went to the back to get the vodka.

"Thanks."

"That guy's something else…" Courtney put her hand on Eva's shoulder.

"Really? I think he's kinda cute." Pointed out Cody.

Eva corrected him. "He looks dumb, I wouldn't date him."

"That's not fair, you don't like men at all! I think he looks fine"

"Well, Mathew is already hooked on someone, also you were with Noah right?" Courtney laughed. "I don't think you have the greatest taste to be completely honest."

"Hey! Noah's fine…"

Courtney snorted. "Yeah sure, 'fine'."

"I can't believe that rat's still in the game." Eva said as Mathew arrived with her drink, she started chugging down.

Courtney pointed out the elephant in the room. "I'm actually surprised Zeke is not out, you guys were two vs two!" She said to Cody.

"Eh, I'd rather sacrifice myself than risk losing Noah, he really needs this win." Pointed out Cody.

"You really care about him that much, huh?" Eva was sort of moved

"Weren't you guys friends too?" Remembered Cody.

"He won't return my calls, I guess that ship sailed."

"Oh yeah, he doesn't want to interact with people from the show anymore."

"Couldn't he have just told me instead of ignoring me?"

"I guess he's not a fan of emotional responsibility…"

"God, what a dick." Interrupted Courtney.

"Hey, you can't say that!" Cody took offense.

"Why? We're not on the show anymore."

"No, not that. I meant about Noah."

"Why would you want to cut contact with people from the show?" Courtney was clearly a tad more than tipsy. "Guys look at me…" She started, and they did. "You guys are the best people I've ever met." She hugged them both, one in each arm. That was the nicest thing Cody had ever heard. Eva had heard better, but she couldn't help but smile too.

It was a good night in Playa des Losers, the ex-campers drank and laughed for a while more before going to sleep. It seemed everything on the island was bleak and uninspired, but the eliminated… They understood.

N/A: We need chapters every once in a while, especially with what's coming. This chapter was a lot of fun. The Courtney conversation is really tense which was funny to pull off. The Cody conversation I was struggling with until I had the fighting idea and it just flowed naturally. I had to google fighting tips though so that was a bit of homework.

Next chapter we're back to the show! We're in a 3v2 situation… Or are we? Who knows, you'll have to read it.