DISCLAIMER: I do not own anything in these stories. All rights go to the creator Chris Savino and the current showrunner, Michael Rubiner.
IMPORTANT NOTICE: So in case you all were wondering, my last two chapters of the series took place during May 1986 which was notably near the end of the school year for kids. So I figured I decided to go back a bit to around April Fools Day 1986. Anyways, let's get started.
(The episode begins with Lincoln and Lori in their room on Monday, March 31, 1986 as Lincoln is marking April 1st on his calendar which is on a Tuesday that year.)
Lori: (to the viewers) If any of you guys are wondering what's happening, the truth is, tomorrow is April Fools' Day. Every year our sister Luan creates a prank apocalypse and no one, I repeat, NO ONE is spared! We present to you Luan Loud's April Fools' Highlight Reel."
(They begin showing a montage of Luan's April Fools' Day pranks on the Loud Family. First, the siblings are looking at their furniture, which is tacked upside down to the ceiling.)
Luan: "I'd say this prank's a little over your head!" [laughs]
Lori: Grrrrr!
[Now they open the door to find the room full of chickens]
Luan: "Seems to be your clucky day!" [laughs]
Lori: Enough with the CHICKENS!
[Now the kids are looking at their house all wrapped up in wrapping paper.]
Luan: [rips through a window] "I guess that's a wrap!" [laughs]
Lincoln: AAAAHHHH!
[Now the siblings are trapped in a humongous gelatin.]
Luan: "Aww, look at the Loud Family gettin' jiggly with it!" [laughs]
Lincoln: Come on!
[The pets' fur and Walt's feathers got shaved off.]
Luan: [holding a buzz shaver] "I shaved the best for last!" [laughs]
Lori: MOM!
[The video ends]
Lincoln: (to the viewers) See what Mom means? Nobody's safe from that evil pranking genius. But this year's gonna be different. Luan is not gonna prank us!
Lori: (to the viewers) Because we've got an April Fool proof plan. (They both head towards his door.) You're not the only one who can make a pun, Luan! Because Lincoln and I are coming after you! (They open his door to reveal Lily wearing a watermelon helmet, a blue T-shirt and a diaper, Lynn putting on padding, Lola coating herself and Lana in bubble-wrap.)
Lana: "Bubble-wrap me next!"
Lucy: [enters with her head inside a gargoyle head.] "I need more armor."
Lynn: [as Lisa enters in army gear] "Where's my helmet!?"
Lori: Oh jeez! (She pulls her phone out and calls Bobby.) Bobby, I don't mean to brag to you right now but I'm afraid Lincoln and I have to cancel all our plans in April.
Bobby: (on the phone) Why?
Lori: Because Luan might shave my eyebrows off again! And it takes a month for them to grow back. So I am demanding a state of emergency in the house! Code Black! (She ends the call and puts her phone back in her trenchcoat pocket.)
Luna: [following Lisa] "C'mon Lisa! Let me hunker in your bunker!"
Lisa: "You should've been more prepared. We'd known this storm was coming for 364 days."
Luna: [dropping to her knees and begging] "PLEASE! GIVE ME SHELTER!"
[Lincoln and Lori walk by whistling when Lola dashes out in front of them.]
Lola: "Arms up, Lincoln! Your turn for bubble-wrap.
Lori (puts her hand in front of Lola.) Uh uh! Lola, you're not pranking him!
Lola: Excuse me?
Lincoln: You heard my mother! I'm not getting pranked!
Lori: (does the same thing) I'm not getting pranked either!
(Loud girls minus Lori chatter)
Lola: It's never been done!
Lynn: Are you crazy?
Lincoln: Ladies! Ladies! Mom and I have got a plan! We're simply gonna lock ourselves in my room till the day's over. We've got snacks, video games and a hose to pee in, which I call the Tinkle Tube. Patent pending.
Leni, Luna, Lynn, Lucy, Lola and Lily: Ew!
Lana: Cool!
Lori: Wow, Lincoln. That's very gross, but satisfying and cool like Lana said.
Lincoln: [points to his window] It goes out the window! The point is, I'll never have to leave my room... I mean, our room... so Luan will never get us.
Lori: That's... actually a good plan, Lincoln.
[The siblings look frightened as Luan comes upstairs while holding a sausage.]
Luan: Ooh! It's Pranksmas Eve...and I'm just bubbling with excitement. [pops a piece of Lola's bubble wrap and walks away.]
Lola: I'm gonna need more bubble wrap! And a fresh pair of undies.
Lincoln: Thanks for the lumber, Lana! I'll return it on April 2nd. [He and Lori walk away with lumber.]
Lana: Mahogany was a good choice. That'll hold nicely.
[Lincoln closes his door, Lori uses the drill to seal the nails and Mahogany on it, then she puts a chair by the doorknob. She then gets her phone out and calls Clyde.)
Lori: Hey, Clyde, wanna hang out with us tomorrow? Lincoln and I built us a fortress with snacks, games and a Tinkle Tube. Patent pending.
Clyde: On Pranksgiving? No way! Not after what happened last year.
Lori: Uh, excuse me?
(Flashback to what happened during the past April Fool's Day where Clyde steps on a rope as one of Luan's prank traps. Water sprays on his face and he is covered in hay. Luan's laughing can be heard. Then, a flock of crows come to attack him as he screams. This causes Lori to snap and go after Luan. End flashback as Clyde looks a little scared.]
Lori: But guess what? Nothing's gonna happen this year. Lincoln and I have got an April Foolproof plan in action. Now I gotta call Ronnie Anne and have her speak to Lincoln. (She hangs up on Clyde and calls Ronnie Anne.)
Ronnie Anne: (on the phone) Hello, who is it?
Lori: This is Lori Loud, speaking on the phone. I think this phone call is for my son, Lincoln. (She hands the phone to Lincoln.)
Lincoln: Hi, Ron. I'm so glad you could call right now.
Ronnie Anne: (on the phone) How's it coming, boy?
Lincoln: This is very urgent! Luan's unleashing her pranks again this year!
Ronnie Anne: (on the phone) Not to worry, bro. I'm coming over tomorrow with a present for them. (hangs up, he gasps by this)
Lincoln: She's coming over tomorrow! She'll get nailed by Luan's pranks and then pulverize me!
Lori: Ooh. It looks like we gotta get Luan to call off Prankapalooza. Appeal to her humanity. And we'll Beg if we both have to!
Lincoln: Good idea! Just as soon as I get the Mahogany off the door!
[Lincoln and Lori try pulling it off and goes in Luna and Luan's room, he arrives and Luan turns around in a Jester chair to face Lincoln while she has Cliff on her lap.]
Lincoln: Luan! You gotta call off Prankageddon! Please! Ronnie Anne is coming over tomorrow and I can't let her get pranked!
Luan: Okay.
Lincoln: Really! Wow that was easier than I...
Luan: APRIL FOOLS PRACTICE! Lincoln, you know the April Fools Rules. Anyone who sets foot on our property is fair game. Speaking of which, is Clyde coming over? 'Cause I'd love to just say HAY! [laughs insanely]
Lori: Okay, Luan! You want to be a menace this year? Well, let's see how you like it when Lincoln and I try to outsmart you this year! So I've got one last thing to say to you before I storm out!
Luan: And what is it?
Lori: Beat it, you little teenage twerp!
(Lincoln and Lori storm back to the former's room, put the Mahogany back on his door and the former calls Clyde.)
Lincoln: Clyde! Pleading with Luan did not work! She's an animal! [hears a cat noise] What was that?
Clyde: Oh, that's Cleopawtra. She's been feisty lately so we put her in a timeout crate.
Lincoln: Timeout crate. That's it! [They run away to brainstorm his idea and he and Lori try to pull the Mahogany off the door.] Why did I choose Mahogany?
[At the basement, Lincoln flicks the lamp on.]
Lincoln: [to his sisters who are not Luan] Okay, we're all here? Good! So, about Luan...
Lola: Shh! She's got ears everywhere! [turns on the washing machine] I saw this in a mob movie once. She won't hear us over the noise.
Lincoln: We all know tomorrow is going to be awful.
Lori: But it doesn't have to be. If we all combine forces, we can prevent Luan from setting up any pranks in the first place.
Lynn: Uhhh, how exactly are we gonna do that?
Lincoln: Let me tell you our plan.
Lisa: Better make it snappy. We're almost done with the spin cycle.
(Later that night in Luna and Luan's room, Luan is snoring. Luna then gets up and gives a bird-like call to signal that Luan is asleep. Everyone then enters the room. Luan then opens her eyes as her siblings tied her down, trapped her in a cage, and keeping her fingers together with Chinese finger traps.)
Luan: [enraged] LET ME [starts screaming her words] OUT OF HERE!
Lincoln: Okay.
Luan: (surprised) Really? Wow! That was easier than I...
Lincoln: APRIL FOOLS! We aren't letting you out until April 2nd! (The other sisters begin to cheer.)
Lynn: That was a crate plan, Lincoln! [The siblings laugh during a rimshot.]
Lori: I've been crating for this moment all my life! I'm definitely proud of you, young boy. (She pats Lincoln on the head. The siblings laugh again.)
Lana: Well, better crate than never! [The siblings laugh again.]
Leni: You're in a crate! [The other siblings don't seem to get it.] Get it?
Lincoln: Maybe we should just go to bed.
Lori: Yeah, I'm sleeping with him, guys. Because I feel much safer when it's just me and him. The only twerp I really see is Luan herself.
(The siblings laugh again as they all then go to bed and sleep for the night, with Lori sleeping with Lincoln.)
Tuesday, April 1, 1986
(Luna is heard screaming. The cage is now broken, meaning that Luan just escaped, much to the horror of everyone.)
Lola: [panicked] We're doomed! Luan escaped, and now she's gonna be mad!
Lori: Oh, dear. This isn't good.
Lincoln: How could this have happened?!
Luna: She's a black magic woman, dude!
Lincoln: [holds up a loose chain] We got to get my money back for these.
[As Lincoln pulls the chain, it sets up a bucket full of honey that spills on both him and Lori, followed by a blast of feathers while the sisters gasp in surprise.]
Lori: (enraged) GRRRRRRRRRRRRR LUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNN!
Lisa: Peace out. I'll be in my bunker. [dashes off]
Lincoln: Everyone else to my room! We'll be safe there.
Lori: Go! Go! Go! Quick before Luan gets you!
[As the siblings runs towards Lincoln's room, their parents shows up by the stairs. Rita is wearing a padded gear while Lynn Sr. is wearing bubble wrap.]
Lynn Sr.: What's all this ruckus about?
Lori: Luan's on the loose! EVERYONE,TAKE COVER!
Rita: But we thought you locked her up!
Lori: Yes, BUT SHE BROKE OUT!
Lynn Sr.: Plan B! RETREAT! RETREAT!
(He and Rita run back downstairs and Lori runs up to Lincoln's room with the others. Meanwhile, the phone rings. Lori picks up.)
Lori: Hello? Who is this on the phone?
Ronnie Anne: It's Ronnie Anne Santiago and I'm on my way to give your sisters a lesson for these pranks.
(Lori becomes excited.)
Lori: Thank god. Lincoln! Ronnie Anne's on her way!
Lincoln: Really? She is?
Lori: Wait? You're gonna prank us, Ronnie? Can't talk now if you're gonna say that. (She hangs up. They both head bang their heads on the wall. A rope on the wall is attached to the vacuum cleaner that's taped on the ceiling and its bag opens up to drop dust on them.)Well, that's my answer. But on the plus side, that's one less prank Ronnie Anne could suffer.
(Meanwhile, Lori gets an idea.)
Lori: One less prank? Hey, That's it! If we set off all the pranks in the house, there won't be any left for her.
Lynn: Lincoln! Lori! It's not safe out there!
Lincoln: Save yourselves! Mom and I have got a job to do.
Lucy: Don't worry, Lincoln, I'll plan your funeral.
[The sisters close Lincoln's bedroom door and puts Mahogany on it. Lori helps Lincoln put on a helmet and he takes out the house map and circles kitchen.]
Lincoln: We'll start by de-pranking the kitchen.
[Lori and Lincoln go downstairs and look at a sign that says "Kitchen this way" while it points the open front door.]
Lincoln: Kitchen this way? Ha! Does she think I'm dumb enough to fall for that?
Lori: Well, of course she is! Because she's acting like a menace today this year again!
[They take the original route and go into the kitchen and find grease on the floor.]
Lincoln: Well, here goes nothing.
[Lincoln and Lori cautiously walk on the grease trap causing a boot contraption to kick the them into the fridge while a box falls on their head. As they get up, they slip on the grease, opens the fridge door, and are socked right in the face by a boxing glove on a spring. The force of impact propels them into the stove.]
Lincoln: "OW!"
Lori: AAGH!
(His helmet breaks apart, and a bunch of vicious raccoons pop out of the stove and attack them as he screams in pain.)
Lori: Oh no! Lincoln, are you all right?
Luan: [popping in from the other room.] "I made that dish from scratch!" [laughs]
(Lori growls at her in response.)
[In the backyard, the Loud siblings' parents are at Lisa's shelter with.)
Rita: [As Lynn Sr. knocks on the shelter.] "Lisa Marie Loud! Let us in!"
Lisa: "I'll need some of your assurances in return! One, I will never again be punished for the explosions in or around the house!"
Luan: [with a pile of Lily's stinky diapers.] "Happy April Stools!" [She prepares to aim one with a slingshot towards her parents.]
Rita: "Are those diapers? She wouldn't!"
Lynn Sr. [frantically pounds the shelter.] "Whatever you want! Just let us in!"
Lisa: [opens the shelter while holding a contract.] "Sign here, here and initials here."
[After the parents sign their names, they hide while Luan shoots diapers at them. Meanwhile, back inside the house Lori and Lincoln look at the map and find a flying flour in the bathroom.)
Lori: Perfect.
(They catches it, but the flour has a timer to explode.)
Lincoln: Uh oh!
Lori: TAKE COVER!
(The flour explodes and Lincoln and Lori start coughing as they find the sink to turn it on, but the water splashes them.]
Lori: Towel! Towel! Towel! Where's the towel?" [As they blindly search for a towel, she finds a raccoon and uses it to wipe themselves but after they open their eyes, they find out they have one and they both scream as they run away from it.]
Luan: "Don't give up, no one likes a critter!" [laughs]
Lori: Why you little...
(Back in Lincoln's room.)
Lisa: "I think if we ration the food, we should be okay."
Lana: "What does 'ration' mean?" [eats a bag of chips and drinks apple juice. The others glare at her as she realizes her mistake.]
Lola: [scoffs] "Typical! Now someone has to go into the kitchen for more supplies!"
[Leni, Luna, Lynn, and Lucy all talk at once]
Lana: [gasps] "Let's draw straws!"
Leni: [sighs] "I'll just go. I know I'm gonna lose. I'm a terrible artist."
Lucy: "Actually, that's not what-"
Lola: [covers Lucy's mouth] "Good luck, Leni!" [She and the other girls shove Leni out of Lincoln's room and put the Mahogany back on the door.]
Leni: [makes it downstairs and finds a sign that says "Kitchen this way" and reads it.] "Kitchen this way? Oh. Thank you, sign!" [finds another sign that says the same thing.] Thank you, sign!" [finds another sign.] "Thank you, sign! Thank you, sign!"
[She keeps following them into the town to parts unknown.]
(Meanwhile, back in the living room.)
Lincoln: [looks at map] "Okay. Living room. So far, so good."
Lori: Yep. It sure is.
(Then a red line comes when they both cross it and a projector is switched on, showing an embarrassing video of Lincoln kissing a balloon with a face on it while Clyde is beside him.)
Lincoln: "I think this is how you kiss a girl." (kisses Edwin balloon)
Clyde: "Don't hold back, Lincoln. Girls like a guy with passion!"
[Lincoln kisses the balloon and it pops. The video loops.]
Lori: Who the hell would record something this disturbing?
Lincoln: "We can't let Ronnie Anne see this!" [goes on the couch] "Stop! Stop!" [They try to stop the film, but the couch has a spring and they go up the ceiling and get stuck by sticky flypapers. They falls down to the couch and goes back up.]
Luan: "Looks like spring is in the air." [laughs]
Lori: GAAAAAAHHHHH!
Lincoln: [looks at the map] "Just got to finish the bedrooms!" [the house's exterior is shown as Lincoln and Lori are getting attacked by Luan's pranks. Afterwards, They are tired, beat up and dirtied as he gets a call from Clyde. Lori then picks up the call.]
Clyde: "Lincoln! What's happening? Lucy just invited me to your funeral!"
Lincoln: (he takes a mouse trap out of his eye and screams.) "OW! You are not going to believe this! Lori and I have been setting off all the pranks in the house so Ronnie Anne doesn't get hit." (He lifts his shoe as sand pours out.) We've gone through every room except Leni and Lori's. [Clyde hangs up] "Clyde? Hello?"
(The doorbell rings as Lincoln goes downstairs to open the door.)
Clyde: "I volunteer to clear Lori's room." [Clyde goes to Lori and Leni's room offscreen as he gets attacked by Luan's pranks.] "It was worth it.
Lori: Yeah, my room really smells like apple cinnamon.
Lincoln: That might be this pie. (He points to the pie on his head and sighs.) "Well, that's it. The Loud House is prank free!" (He high-fives Clyde as the latter walks away and faints. Ronnie Anne arrives and is surprised when Clyde faints, before looking annoyed.)
Luan: [chuckles as Ronnie Anne arrives] "I won! You thought you'd outsmart me, but you got the worst pranking ever!"
Lincoln: "You didn't really win, Luan. Lori and I only set off the pranks because Ronnie Anne was coming over." [Ronnie Anne looks rather touched at hearing him say this.]
Luan: "Yeah! Well who do you think invited her over, genius?" [Ronnie Anne's expression turns to a confused look.] "I knew I had to lure you out of your room, so I called Ronnie Anne, and told her how much you love April Fools' Day. And here she is, to deliver the final blow."
(Lincoln turns to Ronnie Anne, who pulls out a pie, with a villainous-looking smile on her face.)
Lori: BRACE YOURSELVES!
Lincoln braces for impact, and a splat is heard... but he isn't hit.)
Lincoln: "Huh?"
Lori: What?
(As they open their eyes, they find out that she instead threw the pie in Luan's face.]
Lori: "But Ronnie Anne. Why'd you do that?"
Ronnie Anne: "You took all those pranks for me. But hey, It's the least I could do. Come on, let's draw some eyebrows on you and go get a milkshake."
Lori: Yeah. Let's do it!
[The three leave the house.]
Luan: "That girl's a keeper!"
Lori: (off-screen) I HEARD THAT!
(Soon afterwards, the family come out of their hidings and are relieved that the prankfest is over.)
Lynn Sr.: "I think it's over!"
[The other eight sisters agreed.]
Rita: "Wait! Where's Leni?"
Lori: Yeah. Where the hell is she?
Lisa: (looking at the "Kitchen this way" sign.) "I have my suspicions."
Lynn Sr.: "Okay, everybody in the van. Let's find Leni, and then afterwards, frozen yogurt to celebrate! Ha-ha!"
(Everyone cheers and hurries to Vanzilla. But just as the van is about to start, the airbag explodes, splatting blue paint everywhere in the car.)
Everyone: [furious] "LUAN!"
Luan: (to the viewers) Aw, the end of April Fools always make me feel a little blue. [laughs] "Get it?"
Rita: (sternly) Luan, we're going to the town and you must clean the house and get rid of the all damages you caused.
Luan: But, Mom I... Ugh! All right, I will take care of it.
Lynn Sr.: We hope you do because if you don't, or if you make another prank your pocket money will be suspended and all you'll be grounded for 3 months.
Luan: (terrified) 3 months? I'm starting right now!
(In same time, Lincoln, Lori and Ronnie Anne went to the mall. Lincoln went to bathroom to clean himself. Ronnie Anne draw him eyebrows. Lori took a photo of all three of them together. They tried to enjoy their milkshakes. Suddenly they detected Leni in the mall.)
Lincoln: Leni! What are you doing here?
Leni: Oh, hey, Lincoln. Hey, Lori. I'm going to the kitchen fo... Oh, oh! What happened to him?
Lori: It was Luan. All scars are from her jokes.
Leni: My poor, little brother. You both deserve some reward for giving me and all of us shelter in his room.
Lincoln: So, why aren't you with the others? Wait, let me guess. You followed signs "Kitchen", right?
Leni: Yes, you're so smart.
Lori: See?
Ronnie Anne: I feel like I'm talking to my bro instead. That was also Luan's joke. You're in the mall, not the kitchen.
Leni: Oh, how could I not notice? I'll discuss with the other sisters about a reward for you both when we're back home.
(Lori, Leni and Lincoln lead Ronnie Anne back to her home and then they went to their home. Luan greeted Lincoln, Lori and Leni, the house was clean and shiny.)
Lincoln: The house normally looks like a tornado passed there but this time it reminds me of Clyde's house and Ronnie Anne's as well.
Luan: Do you think I couldn't clean whole mess you caused?
Lori: (annoyed) Well, you set all the traps.
Luan: And you were stupid enough to willingly go to them all.
Leni: Stop it! Stop it right now!
Lori: Yeah! Lincoln looked like a victim of a torturer because of your pranks!
Lincoln: At least I don't have hand skin destroyed by detergents.
Lori: Yep. Dry broken skin is never pleasant and it may lead to skin disease like sunburns.
Luan: What? Do I have damaged hands? - Luan asked terrified and watched her hands
Leni: No, you don't. Lincoln, I understand you're still angry but don't lie to her.
Lori: Leni, it was a sarcasm!
(The rest of the family arrived.)
Everyone: Leni! You're back!
(Back home.)
Lincoln: Where did the sign "Kitchen" lead you?
Leni: Why are you all blue?
Lori: 1. It let her to the mall where we were at, and 2. It was another one of Luan's pranks.
Lynn Sr.: (sternly in response to Lori's statement) Luan! To your room! Now!
Luan: Don't get so angry, I cleaned the whole house and I assure you there is no prank anymore.
(She crossed fingers behind going to her room.)
Lucy: Her comedy demon possesses her every April Fools. I feel each time it's worse.
Lori: I tell you, Lucy, I have that same feeling.
Leni: Wait, so Luan does this because she's possessed? That would explain all. I knew Luan isn't bad for real.
Lucy: Leni, I didn't say it.
Leni: Then Lori and I were right to be angry for Luan from the start. We could have been damaged. Our poor brother suffered decuple, they took all her pranks for themselves.
Lola: Lincoln, you look awful. For giving us room as a shelter I'll give you a make up to cover the scars and bruises.
Luna: Guys, we must ensure Luan won't do it again. Even now I'm afraid of sharing room with her.
Lincoln: We will discuss it but not here, Luan can hear us.
(Bobby suddenly arrives.)
Bobby: Hey, Lori, I brought you 10 pizzas.
Lynn Jr.: Thank you, pizza party is coming.
Lynn Sr.: But we didn't order so many pizza.
Bobby: It's been ordered on your surname. Those boxes can't return to the restaurant so please be merciful and pay me as I brought it in time.
Everyone: (in unison) Luan!
Rita: I will pay. I'll suspend Luan's pocket money till it will reach price of the pizza.
Lana: At least we won't be hungry. - Lana said and took a slice of pizza to her mouth - Bleh! Wasabi and broccoli! It's too much for me.
Lori: You know what? Today, Luan has really gone too far so many times today.
Rita: I doubt being grounded will make her stop.
Lincoln: We must take radical measures. (to Bobby) Dad, please take me, Mom and Lola to your house.
Bobby: Always for my beloved, my bro and ehh... the cutest sister of them both.
Lola: Hmm, not bad.
(At the Santiago House, Ronnie was surprised her brother brought 3 Loud siblings.)
Ronnie Anne: Lincoln, that's unexpected. Nice joke.
Lincoln: Ronnie, that's not a joke, we're here in serious business.
Lori: Oh, and thank you for the date by the way.
Lola: All fine but we're here to discuss far from Luan.
(The 3 Loud siblings sit to a table in dinning room.)
Lincoln: We gathered here to solve our problem on 4 letters, Luan. She already outsmarted us but combined intelligence of us all will make her no match for us.
Lori: Well, why only 3? All of us want to serve justice to Luan.
Lincoln: We three are the most brilliant minds in the family, that's why. We don't have time for brainstorming.
Lori: Well, Lincoln, I actually like this idea.
Their debate began to sound like a song
Lincoln: We are smart siblings, are we not?
Lola: And our interests are the same
Lori: We collaborate
Lola: And trust in our brains parcel out the blame
Lincoln: There are ends we've all got that can justify the means
Lola: Let's debate
Lori: And fabricate the facts behind the scenes
Lincoln: Keeping all the details vague and secrets hidden
Lola: Safe from the balanced sheet of those you trust because perfect plans are formed by the winners of the fight
Lori: You imply a little
Lincoln: Lie a little, testifying
Lori: Try a little
Lincoln and Lori: Chester (Luan)
Lincoln: Who's gonna question what goes on in the middle of the night? Not the thinker (Lisa)
Lola: Not the tailor (Leni)
Lincoln: Not our father or our mother
Lori: Or the singer (Luna) Hahaha
Lincoln: So we all are agreed let's be vigilant and wise
Lola: We must all pretend our annoying sis was caught in her own lies
Lori: For our plan to succeed one belief we must share Luan Loud quits for good her prank carrier
Lincoln: What she'll do instead of comedy is beyond our concern now and only our planning we must keep
Lori: Because perfect plans are made by the ones who bend the laws
Lola: We supply a little lie
Lincoln: To help the gullible to buy a little fable
Lori: What will become of the righteous ones who fashioned Luan's flaws?
Lola: The smart
Lori: And well respected
Lola: And always invited at our table
Lincoln: Ronnie will comfort us in this time of grief and anguish and I'll be ever faithful to Ronnie's love
Lola: Every time
Lori: But part of me wishes Luan didn't have to languish but I can see it's her or me
Lola: Let her sit somewhere and sob till she's broken
Lincoln: Let her sob!
Louds together: Perfect plans are made by the people who survive
Lori: Let me sign and then initial
Lola: It's the truth if it's officially the plan
Lincoln: What if the cost is one dumb gal so nine more and me can survive?
Lori: He's a price we have to pay
Lincoln: So live and fight another day for love and glory
Lola: She was standing in the way a threat to justice this day
Lori: So goes the plan!
Lincoln: Stick to the plan!
Louds together: Let's execute our plan!
Wednesday, April 2, 1986
(That morning, Luan was about to wake up but Luna grabbed her bedsheet and pulled to make her fall from her bed.)
Luan: (annoyed) Luna, what's this about?
Luna: You shall tell me. Just watch. (Luna showed Luan her camera recording on which Luna stands up from her bed, walks during sleep and returns after several hours.)
Luan: I was sleepwalking? I thought I only say jokes during my sleep.
Luna (angry) Tricking my bro and giving him such suffering wasn't enough for you?! For what you did last night, you no longer live here!
Luan: What are you talking about? I don't remember anything I did at night except for sleeping.
Luna: (angrily) Your amnesia won't save you. I'm glad you still go middle school because I won't see you at high school today. To the end of the day I want you to move from my room.
Luan: (miserable) Where shall I live then and who will take my place?
Luna: (coldly) That's not my concern!
(Luan was behind Leni to the bathroom. Luan heard Leni's scream and opened the door. She was shocked on sight of Leni with no hair on head.)
Leni: (outraged) Luan! You replaced my special healing shampoo with depilation cream!
Luan: I didn't do this!
Leni: Only you could do this! Don't deny it, you lying little twerp!
Luan: Where is your hair then? Why isn't it on the floor?
Leni: Well if your wondering, the thing is... the cream melts HAIR!
Luan: Wow! It was really bold of me or rather bald.
Leni: (mad) Don't joke ever again! My hair was growing whole my life to be like they were until today. Now I have to wait another 16 years for them to regrow. Then I will be old and ugly and no boyfriend will want to date with me! I will be a single old lady because of you, twerp!
Luan: Leni, I'm sorry. I will make myself bald to be even with you.
Leni: (enraged) I don't care what you do anymore! After what you did to my little brother, my big sister and me, you are our sister no more! Begone!
(Luan ran from the bathroom and was immediately stopped by Lori. She was angry at Luan.)
Luan: What did I do to you?
Lori: (enraged) You insensitive monster! I'm literally going to give you a serious spanking in the ass! Afterwards I'm going to have you wear diapers as a punishment for pranking us! Last night you were talking with Bobby on MY phone!
Luan: I wouldn't date with my sister's boyfriend. - Luan claimed
Lori: (angry) That's what I need. Because you said such disgusting things to him that he broke with me and what's worse he said that he's going to date Carol now! Carol!
Luan: Why do you all blame me?
Lori: (enraged) We all know it's your fault! Even in sleep you're insecure. It won't be a sororicide because you are not my sister anymore and that the only family I have right now is Lincoln!
Luan: Aahh! (She escaped screaming.)
(Luan took secretly some bread from kitchen to make a breakfast for herself. She got dressed and escaped right to her school. She was terrified that she could pull such cruel pranks in sleep. During her classes she tried to act normal. During one of the breaks she met Lynn nervously walking with a bitter face. Some student shouted to her "Hello, Lynnudist!" and laughed. Lynn punched wall in anger and then stared on Luan.)
Lynn: (enraged) Lu-an. You're in deep trouble!
Luan: What did I do to you? Whatever I did it was sleepwalking.
Lynn: It changes nothing! Today I had P.E. at the pool. You sank my swimsuit in some strange substance that gets active in water. As a result, my swimsuit got completely melted during swimming in the pool and I was caught naked. I was humiliated in eyes of whole my class. They laughed from me and some one took a photo of it. It's all because of your sick sense of madness!
Luan: Fascinating idea but I don't think I would have such idea. It couldn't be me.
Lynn: (rubbing her fists) Remember when Lincoln humiliated me in public? You just made it a hundred times worse. I'll punch you till you'll stop breathing.
Luan: Oh, the break is over.
Lynn: I will deal with you later. I have more important business right now.
(Luan left school before Lynn so she could reach the house earlier. Luan couldn't believe she's able to hurt her siblings like that. She was terrified that she doesn't even remember this. At the house, she heard crying coming from the twins' room.)
Lana: (crying on her knees) My pets, my poor pets. I can't believe this. How could she do this?
Luan: What did I do?
Lana: (angry at Luan) You! You used Lola's cosmetics to give them make up. Due to allergic reaction on them, Izzy, Hops, El Diablo, they all died!
Luan: This can't be. I could not do this.
Lan: But you did! All because of your insanity!
Luan: Where are they?
Lana: (angry) Lucy prepares their funeral. You are not invited Leave me in my pain, you animal killer!
(Luan felt worse and worse with every piece of information she received. She came to Lynn's room to check if she's still there. Instead she saw on Lucy's part of the room with paper sheets. On those sheets were drawings showing various ways of killing. Luan realized Lucy expresses her anger this way because she did something terrible to her. The scariest on those drawings were smears of red paint presenting blood. On door to Lisa's room Luan found a letter to her. She read it loudly.
"Luan,
You changed labels of my flasks with chemicals for your sick fun.
I caused some chemical reactions and because I used wrong components
Now my room is toxic forever and I look like a monster.
I left to find genetic scientists who will undo what you did to me.
- Your ex-sister Lisa"
(Luan was horrified by this.)
Luan: No, no! My pranks caused damages I can't fix. Why am I such a monster?
Lincoln: (stern) I wonder if I didn't inherit such genes of evil! (He and Lori both appeared behind Luan, both glaring at them.)
Luan: (terrified) Lincoln... I... I'm sorry for whatever I did to you.
Lincoln: You're lucky you don't have to see this (He came in revealing whole his head is bandaged) I am not so lucky because only I suffer this in the first place and no apology is going to fix it this time.
Luan: (begging on her knees) Brother, please, show me mercy. Please don't hate me.
Lincoln: Hate is not a proper name for what I feel to you. Because of your prank my face is an abomination. I don't care how our parents will punish you because it won't change fact that to end my days when Mom and I have to suffer because of you.
Lori: And I have to make him feel better by the end of the day every time.
Luan: (crying) I'll find a job to pay for your operation. Just give me a chance. I am not able to live hated by my family. Don't disown me.
Lincoln: Now you know what how I felt once because I simply wanted to be with Lori more than the others.
Lori: And it is because there is no worse feeling. It's a fate worse than death!
Lola: There she is!
All Sisters: (in unison) Luan! (They all came in glaring at Luan.)
Luan: What have I done? How could I do this? I don't even remember how.
Lola: You feel so guilty you don't want to remember this. Do you know why I wear Lana's clothes?
Luan: No and I fear I don't want to know.
Lola: You cut holes in all my gowns! Buy me new ones or you'll know my vengeance!
Luna, Lori and Leni sang "You Give Love a Bad Name" with some words changed.
Shot through the heart and you're to blame!
Luan, you give pranking a bad name
An angel's smile is what you sell
You promised us heaven then put us through hell
Chains of fools got a hold on us, when pranking's a prison you can't break free
Oh! You're a loaded gun, yeah
Oh! There's nowhere to run
No one can save us, the damage is done
Shot through the heart, and you're to blame!
You give pranking a bad name (Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
You give pranking a bad name!
Paint your smile on your lips, blood red nails on your fingertips
A school boy's dream, you act so shy
Your very first kiss was your first kiss goodbye
Whoa! You're a loaded gun
Whoa! There's nowhere to run
No one can save us, the damage is done
Shot through the heart and you're to blame!
You give pranking a bad name
(Bad name)
I play my part and you play your game
You give pranking a bad name (Bad name)
Lincoln: (stopping the song) Luna, we know rest of the song.
Luna: Dammit! I wanted to finish it.
Luan: I'm sincerely sorry. I did terrible things to you because I'm an insane prankster. I'll do anything to restore your trust in me. I am ready to quit my pranking career. I rather do this than be hated and disowned by my family. Tell me what to do and I'll do it immediately.
Lincoln: First I'll show you my face to make you never forget your cruelty. (He started slowly removing bandages from his face
Luan: I don't wanna see this.
Lynn: You won't escape from this. Watch your work and reap what you saw.
Luan: Ehh.
Lincoln: Watch me! (It reveals that his face is perfectly fine.)
Luan: I don't get it. You said I destroyed your face.
Luna: We can all stop playing this charade.
Leni: Finally, I have enough of this bald wig. (She reveals that she's not bald at all.
Luan: You pretended this all? It was a hoax?
Lincoln and his Sisters: (in unison) Yes
Luan: Wow, guys, you made me an incredible joke. I really believed you hate me because I made pranks to you as a sleep walker. What an irony!
Lori: This still can happen. You didn't do any of those things but now you know what will happen to you if you ever do this.
Luna: You brought this on yourself. You can't pull hurting pranks on your family and expect no consequences.
Luan: After such trauma I surely won't do this. I sincerely promise to not make hurting pranks to you. This time I'm not joking and I don't have crossed fingers.
Lincoln: Maybe we went too far too but you left us no other choice. Your parents punished you many times for this and promised you rewards if you change. Neither way ever worked so we took a radical method. Nothing changes people more than trauma.
Lola: All to give you a lesson that you shall think of consequences if you plan to pull pranks. Use your imagination to predict if your pranks can hurt your victims.
Leni: And remember that pranks are supposed to amuse everybody and not to hurt them
Luan: You're got me. All was well prepared. I congratulate you determination.
Lori: We were ten against you alone after all.
Luan: I have a question. I already know the video Luna showed me was fake, Lori and Lola simply lied to me, Leni wore wig and Lincoln just wore a mask. But where are Lana's pets?
Lana: My pets are in safe place alive and well. In the basement and I'll go for them right now.
Lynn: I paid this student to shout this "Lynnudist" on sight of us both. All to make you believe you committed those crimes.
Luan: (to the viewers) What a relief that it all was just a hoax but I have my lesson. I will ensure my pranks won't hurt anybody anymore. I shall think about amusing the others and not just myself. Now I know what my brother once felt. Like he said being hated by family is a fate worse than death. I rather end with comedy than suffer this. I have a lot to do so all my siblings could trust me again. One thing is certain April Two also rules for them.
(They all laugh together as the episode ends.)