Greetings reader and the internet as a whole I suppose, depending on how many people actually read this. My name is Elon Cavian Forticka Muskean Mootitkus the Twenty Third! A name I used to carry with pride, fore it was a name that a very successful relative on my fathers side carried… though I'm aware that most, if not all of you, will know me by my new alias… Minimoose… None of you can hear it but I'm saying that name with great disdain.
As if forcing myself to hide in this tiny body wasn't bad enough, I'm also forced to wear a name that is a complete insult to my proud people!
...Right, You're all probably wondering what I'm talking about and I suppose I should start at the beginning huh?
Well to start, I originally come from the plentiful planet of Mootika, home to the proud Ttuormoo. We were a mentally and physically advanced race. At least those of us of a higher status were, even we weren't safe from the disease that is stupidity but I digress. We could speak to each other without the need for mouth and tongue and we had the ability to move objects without having to touch them, we had no need for opposable thumbs. And the most powerful of us, who were usually in a pretty high status then my family, had the ability to leave their old bodies behind and possess other creatures and sometimes objects, or robots in my case.
As you can already tell this tiny robotic moose isn't my original body, my original form was much bigger and much stronger might I add, it took me a bit to get used to having such a small body and even tinier limbs. Well, I suppose they're more like nubs actually. Despite what I stated before, living in this moose shaped body isn't that terrible, sure it has its flaws but it reminds me of home in a way, it was one of the reasons I decided to possess it in the first place.
My family were humble moose farmers, a very dangerous profession on my planet. Unlike the strictly herbivorous moose of Earth, the moose that resided on the planet of Mootika were omnivores. Yes they love their grass and flowers and will occasionally eat tree bark but they'll also go crazy for fresh meat, a fact that I've learned first hand, the smell of fresh meat alone drives them mad.
I've heard many stories of untamed moose ripping villages apart in search of the bit of meat someone had roasting on a spit for dinner… I've even witnessed one of our own moose bash in the head of a farm hand my mother had hired earlier that year with their bare hooves because they decided to carry around fresh jerky in their pocket to have as a snack later that day. It was a bloody sight, that was made even worse as I watched that same moose start to consume the farm hand she had just killed… I stood there paralyzed, too horrified to run and get my mother for help.
It definitely taught me why you should never bring any kind of meat into the moose's pen and it was safe to say that I never looked at a moose the same way again, in fact I had nightmares for weeks…
Anyway, the land we lived on had been in my family for generations, going as far back as my great-great-great-great-great grandfather, who I heard was a wise but mad man from what some of the older members of my village told me. A fact that was proven further by his diaries, I swear though, his handwriting was as mad as him. After his death, he passed the land down to his son, who in turn passed it down to his children, so on and so forth all the way down to my mother.
My mother was a beautiful but fierce woman. Why, I remember witnessing my mother actually wrestle with our strongest moose the one day he decided to act up around her, she won that match by knocking it out, she managed to pin it and slam it's head against the fence.
It was no wonder me and my siblings were too afraid of acting up around her, none of us wanted to end up like that moose. It was also no wonder my father fell for her, I mean who wouldn't want a fierce woman like her.
A lot of people actually expressed confusion as to why someone of such a high status would fall for a crass, rowdy and 'undignified' moose farmer and I heard that it came to quite a surprise when he dropped everything to be with her. It was quite the story though and one that would take far too long to tell, so I will get back to my family at a later date. I'm certain you're all wondering how I came to inhabit this robotic moose.
It starts with the unfortunate destruction of my home… The great planet of Mootika was destroyed, I don't know who did it nor do I know why and to this day a lot of the details of the incident are a blur, but I do remember some details. Like waking up that morning to a bright, nearly blinding light that engulfed my whole world, and bathed everything in blinding white. Then the world beneath me began to tremble and scream seconds before it all began to shatter. The planet began to crack, starting from where the great beam had struck, releasing the ear piercing screams that the planet had been holding back all these years, deep down inside.
I remember my mother holding me and my siblings close, I could hear the whimpers of my newest sister as I buried my face into my mothers side, listening to her tell us that it would all be okay… then nothing.
Okay well, not nothing. For the briefest moment I could see it, a huge barrier that was invisible to everyone else, including me, until now however. Only later did I learn that this was the great barrier that separates our world, the world of fiction as you call it, and your world. I would like to take this moment to state that I'm not omnipotent, I'm not an all seeing being like a god or anything like that, I'm just a bit more aware than everyone else here, I believe you would call me a 'fourth-wall breaker,' I can just barely see over that barrier and as these abilities grew over the years I can now just barely able to see what she is up to at that little laptop of hers, staring at her little screen with nearly emotionless, tired blue eyes as she types away, pouring all the ideas bubbling in her mind onto paper and computer… Only recently have I realized exactly who she was… I should move on, she doesn't really matter here as of now.
Anyway, as I was saying. The next thing I remember was staring at what's left of my home. Bits of dirt and rubble simply floating in the vacuum around me and for a good minute, I actually thought I was dead and that there really was no afterlife like my great-great-great-great-great grandfather had said in his dairies. That was until I recalled my father telling me that certain powerful Ttourmoo had the ability to leave their bodies when under extreme stress or when they're in danger and in even rarer cases can continue to live even when their bodies were gone.
So I was alive, I just no longer had a body. And it stayed that way for a long while, I think I floated around aimlessly for several months before finding Earth and I'll tell you, I don't think I've ever been happier to see other living creatures in my life! Even if they couldn't see me, it was good to have them around.
Now, onto how I met and eventually how I came to live with Zim and GIR is actually quite an interesting tale. I met GIR first, when I was possessing different bodies at random to teach myself how to use this ability of mine and at the time I just so happened to be possessing a little pig the robot was fond of. I honestly had no idea that the pig belonged to GIR until I found myself being picked by a pair of cold metal hands and being shouted at by a loud robotic voice. Then I was dragged to his house and I stuck around, I found GIR interesting because I had never seen a robot before that day so to see a creature made completely out of metal was strange to me, I wanted to know more about him.
My introduction to Zim was eventful, to say the least. One of the first things he did when he saw GIR walk into the house, carrying me above his head, was scream something about germs and kick us out when GIR tried to hug him. I'm pretty sure the odd looking goggles he was wearing at the time were causing him to hallucinate, because I couldn't see anything he was seeing.
Now, how I came to possess this tiny moose body. It was several months after I left the pig's body, who disappeared not too long after. I'm honestly surprised GIR didn't notice that his pig had run off but I digress.
I was actually able to observe the building of the tiny robot, I didn't really have much to do at the time other than watch the houses residents go about their day back then, so for the fun of it, I may have influenced the moose shape just a little bit. I should say that, I never intended on actually possessing this tiny body. But when I realized it wasn't going to activate after all the hard work that was put into it! I couldn't believe it! So that was another reason I possessed this body… frustration and spite of the fact that the robot wouldn't turn on!
I honestly expected it to be destroyed by the end of the day or maybe the end of the next day, as was usually the case for things like this, but that obviously didn't happen! No, it stayed intact, much to my surprise. And I couldn't just leave this body, it would shut down if I did which I feel would have made possessing the body pointless. And I realized that I could kind of interact with the creatures I had been watching for nearly a year instead of just influencing them… I thought it'd be like having a family again, a strange family but a family nonetheless. So while this tiny body wasn't my first choice, I honestly wouldn't have it any other way. I still find the name humiliating however, I don't like it.
I suppose I could tell them who and what I really am, so that they'll actually call me by my true name… but everytime I make the decision to do so… I find myself hesitating because I had this small strange family who were all used to the tiny nearly silent Minimoose who, as far as they know, is almost always oblivious to the world around him, just a simple moose shaped robot, that's who they were used to knowing, that was the version of me they loved, not Elon. They aren't used to me, I'm afraid that if I show either of them who I really am then I'd be pushed away or gotten rid of.
So, here I remain in this tiny moose shaped body, too afraid to speak up but always willing to listen to their woes. Mostly GIR's, he was the most talkative of the two residents here. He would talk to me whenever he was feeling upset, tell me everything, well almost everything, the robot still had his secrets. Some of which he shared with me but I will not get into that at this time fore I believe that would be a breach of trust, we may be in different worlds entirely but I don't think GIR would like a bunch of people on the internet to know some of the things he wanted secret. Though I'm sure you'll figure out some of those secrets before long anyhow. But he kept most of his secrets hidden and I have noticed that GIR has grown quiet over the past year, which was quite concerning, considering GIR was usually so chatty and can be very chaotic when he wants to be. He even refused to get off the couch for a few days which was very uncharacteristic of him, that was until he told me about this new friend of his but I'll get to her in a moment.
Zim on the other hand was a different story. Yes he talked to me, but not in the way GIR would. He wasn't as chatty as the little robot, he kept a lot to himself and lately I've noticed that the only times he'll actually talk to me is when he's talking to himself, which has actually been happening a lot in the past year or to tell me to do something. He'll say things here and there, but if he has any issues, emotional or otherwise, he's good at hiding it.
And there's no way he doesn't have issues, let's not kid ourselves here. We all have our issues and the newest addition to our little problematic gang, Mela, is no exception.
Speaking of Mela, I find that she's an interesting creature. I could just tell by looking into those big golden eyes of hers, which I find to be an interesting trait to be given to her. And she's definitely a motherly sort despite her background, I could tell that right away. Just by seeing the way she looks at the little robot, it was the same look my mother would give me and my siblings whenever she watched us run around the yard back home. Mela treats him like a child and I guess in a way he is a child. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if at some point GIR accidently called her mom. None of you can hear it but I am chuckling at the thought.
Though I find it funny that she's only known GIR for a little while and already her motherly instincts have kicked in. And I assume that as Mela and Zim get closer, and actually start to become friends, which will most likely be thanks to GIR, just you wait. Mela will start to give Zim that motherly treatment as well, whether she realizes or not. She probably won't be as motherly with him as she is with GIR but it'll still be something interesting to observe as time goes on.
Well, I suppose that covers the basics of who and what I am, my background and what not. As well as my thoughts on almost everyone around me, perhaps at some point I can touch on my thoughts on the Membrane siblings, but for now I believe I've rambled on enough and I best be going anyway, before she discovers I've been using her little laptop. I didn't have a lot of time here to begin with and I've spent way too much time telling my life story, but I know well she wasn't going to do it. She's much too focused on everyone else to pay any attention to me and what I'm up to.
I may do another one of these if I ever get the chance to get my hands on this laptop again… I suppose we'll see what happens huh?
Well until next time I suppose.
Elon Cavian Forticka Muskean Mootitkus the Twenty Third.