AN: WOW, the response to last chapter was simply UNBELIEVEABLE. Thank you all SO much for all your comments and theories! They made my week! You're all such angels. Thirsty, THIRSTY angels, but angels nonetheless. 😂
Also, apparently I was a few days early for SessRin Smut Week AND NO ONE TOLD ME?! 😝 Since I found out literally the day it started, I was going to make last chapter my "unofficial" entry and skip the week, believing I didn't have time, especially since it did happen to basically cover all the Smut Week prompts (oops, did I give something away…? 😆). But I was bad and decided to officially join, thus dividing my attention between stories. So, if this chapter is a little heavy on exposition and doesn't seem as well-edited to you, I do apologize, because I've been distracted by writing daily smut. Lots and lots of smut.
Chapter 7: Selfishness and Sacrifice
Rin rolled off Sesshoumaru's waist, freeing his member for the—was it the fourth or fifth time now?—from her grasp. She snuggled into his side and laid her head on his shoulder with a satisfied groan.
Sesshoumaru chuckled lowly, amused at how whether it was conscious or unconscious, she had been seeking his side like that all week. He turned his head and buried his nose in her hair, relishing the fact that his scent was now well-mixed with hers, and no trace of those damn wolves remained. He couldn't remember the last time he had felt so languid, without a care in the world. Even these last couple weeks with Rin, he had always been on guard—at first against her and later against other demons. But in this moment, nothing bothered him.
And it was all because of her. Would she always make him feel this way? In terms of days, they hadn't known each other long, but in terms of time spent together, it already felt much longer. And they had already gone so far. He couldn't imagine this ray of sunshine no longer being in his life.
Now that he had experienced this feeling, he wished it would last.
He allowed himself to fantasize for a moment about what would happen if she were to remain with him. First, he would have to take her back to the resort and make sure everyone was well aware that she was not to be touched—especially their wolf demon guests. He couldn't afford to throw out such a large portion of their customer base and risk the tribe's patronage, but they could still be reminded, once again, what angering a demon of his might would mean for them.
Of course, taking her back would mean eating a metaphorical feast of crow.
He could live with Inuyasha's rage and teasing. He might shock his father into an early grave, but he would gladly accept Rin.
The problem would be his mother.
She still had not gotten over his father's betrayal seven hundred years ago. And with the way the demon race was dying out, she had been harping on Sesshoumaru for decades that it was his duty to ensure that the purity of the race continued. She had long picked out a list of potential brides for him. He constantly ignored them, all the while knowing that one day he would have to give in.
Had this been the past, when he could go years without seeing her and she wouldn't know his business, he might have gotten away with having a secret relationship with Rin, but that was no longer possible. And now, living with his mother in such relatively close quarters, Rin's mere presence would be like a bug buzzing around her head.
And she would go out of her way to squash the human woman—emotionally, if not physically.
Sesshoumaru ran his fingers through the ends of Rin's long, black hair as he contemplated that. More than likely, this girl would be able to stand up to his mother and give her a run for her money. After all, this was the same woman who had barely flinched when she found out she had tended a demon and who had forced said great dog demon to bend to her every instruction.
So perhaps he did not have to worry so much about his mother.
Perhaps there was hope.
Rin skated a hand over his ribs, tracing the magenta stripes that wrapped around them. "It's official. You've ruined me for all other men."
His hackles rose at the thought of these hypothetical "other men" coming anywhere near Rin, but he tamped down on the instinct. She had made no promises. No claims.
Not like he had.
His eyes drifted over to the bite mark he had made on her neck. Already, her skin was discolored, the thin tracery of veins normally unseen now a greenish-purple spider web around his bite.
He hadn't been in his right mind that first time—he recognized that. His demonic nature had gotten the better of him—so much so that when he came into her, he felt an overwhelming need to brand her before all others as his. What he had originally hoped was a simple bite—a byproduct of his overexcitement—he could no longer deny was a mating mark.
Her cry of pain had been the only thing to bring him back to his senses, and he tried to stem the minute trickle of poison from his fangs that would mark her, but apparently it had been too late. He had feared the poison would hurt her frail, human body in some way, but aside from the discoloration, it hadn't seemed to have affected her. Her heart continued to beat at the proper tempo, and she had shown no less energy than was to be expected from their successive copulations.
The fact that he had taken her so many times—that they had likely put the Kama Sutra to shame—was probably some unconscious sign that his body knew if he did not have his fill of her this day, he never would.
He clenched his jaw at the thought. Indeed, some part of him had known from the start that she was not for him, but even so, he had selfishly indulged.
After all, she was free to walk away from this encounter, if she wished, and never look back.
He, however, would forever belong to her, because he had tied himself to her for life.
Mating bites were an exchange of demonic energy, tying two demons' life energies was an absurdly romantic notion, based on the idea that with such long, potentially immortal lives before them, a demon's mate would not want to go on living should the other die. So, the mating mark ensured it. Most demons were too guarded to become so vulnerable as to trust their partners with their lives, so it wasn't altogether common.
While a true mating could only happen between demons, he knew it was possible for a demon to make such a mark on a human, even though the human could not reciprocate. After all, every time he passed by Izayoi, Inuyasha's human mother, he sensed his father's mating mark on her.
The mark was a brand declaring the demon's mate off-limits.
And a demon could only make such a mark once. Hence why he had never sensed it on his own mother. So it still boggled his mind that his father had sought out the woman he had once left for his true mate and asked her to live with him—in a separate building, of course, but on the same estate nonetheless.
Before the Meiji era, Touga lived solely with Izayoi and Inuyasha, leaving Sesshoumaru to his own devices and his mother, Inukimi, alone in her palace. But when demons started to go into hiding, Touga approached Inukimi and Sesshoumaru with a proposal that they all live together to better protect the family.
Sesshoumaru declined at first out of pride. It wasn't just that he felt he didn't need to hide nor that he needed help defending himself. He simply didn't want to live with his father's "new," human-tainted family. Sesshoumaru had never cared for humans, and the fact that they were driving demons into hiding only heightened his dislike of them. Although his father had somehow found a way to preserve Izayoi's life and youth (he had never cared to find out, and it was something he hadn't even noticed until decades passed and he suddenly realized that Izayoi should have at least shown some age if not outright died), she was still, at her core, a human.
But to Sesshoumaru's shock, his mother had agreed to the arrangement. He never understood why she acquiesced to living as one strangely blended family, especially knowing that Izayoi was Touga's mate, but as a result of her decision, Sesshoumaru ultimately joined them, if only to make sure his mother was not disrespected on the estate. She held tremendous power as a great dog demon, but she would always bear the stigma of being the former-wife of the Great Dog Demon General, who had left her for a human.
And while Inukimi and Izayoi did have to switch roles as "public wife" every few decades to help with Touga's identity ruses, Izayoi alone had always remained Touga's true wife in every way that mattered in private.
He focused on the bite mark on Rin's neck again. Likely, it would make no real difference to her life. If anything, it would provide a modicum of extra protection for her, lest she ever run into another wild demon, although the chances of even that much happening were slim. Her experience with Kouga had been a fluke. There was a reason she had told Sesshoumaru she had never met a demon before him. She probably had—she had just never realized. Demons preferred hiding to going on rampages these days.
The only other result of the mark was that he had tied his life energy to her, meaning that if he died, she would too. However, he was confident in his ability to survive, so likely, her mortal life would extinguish long before his did. And since she could not return the gesture, he had no need to fear a premature death for himself.
Still, the words "ruined me for all other men" rang in his head. They presented an opportunity—one that would normally seem too soon, too forward in this day and age. But he decided to make the offer, on the off-chance she would accept it.
"It was never my intention to ruin you, Rin. I will take responsibility, if that is what you wish."
Rin blinked sleepily at him, as if trying to puzzle out his words, and then her eyes widened in understanding, and she chuckled, pushing feebly at his chest. "This isn't the 1800s, silly—that's not what I meant. Perhaps what I should have said was: I don't ever think I'll be able to have sex with any other man, because I don't think anyone could compare to you. Better?" Internally, he preened at the words. He tried not to let it show, but her knowing look said that something must have crossed his face. "Nevertheless, I do appreciate the gesture." She paused then, frowning in thought. "You didn't happen to be alive during the 1800s, did you, Sesshoumaru? Because then that would make a whole lot of sense."
He didn't see the harm in keeping that information from her any longer—not after everything they had shared. "I was."
Her mouth dropped open. "Then…what about the 1700s?"
He nodded.
Her eyes took on a suspicious look. "…The 1600s?"
His eyebrows rose in a modicum of impatience. Was she going to go back each century until she ran out? "Rin…."
"Just tell me how old you are. Please?"
Sesshoumaru sighed. "I was born in the 112th year of the Asuka Period."
Rin scowled, her eyes screwing shut. She groaned, burying her face into his shoulder. "Sesshoumaru, don't make me do math right now. I can barely think. Just give me a number. I mean, I can't even remember when the Asuka Period was. Do you know how long it's been since I had a history class? Was that part of early Japan? Like…pre 700 CE or something? Because that would be old. Like, really old."
It was a personally philosophy of Sesshoumaru's that one should never stop learning, even outside of school, so he decided to indulge her curiosity with a little history lesson. "I was born about a hundred years after Buddhism was introduced to the country. It was…how do they say it now? It was 'trending' among the nobility back then."
Rin burst out laughing at what was probably a horrible misuse of some new English slang. He knew he should have kept his mouth shut. "You are old. And if your suit is any indication, you've probably built up quite a fortune over the centuries. Sounds to me like I scored myself a silver-fox sugar daddy," she said, picking up some of his silver tresses and running them between her fingers.
"You'd never have to work again," Sesshoumaru said seriously.
Rin snuggled back into his shoulder with a yawn. "Maybe, but I love my job. I could probably find other things to do, but I honestly don't want to quit."
And just that quickly, reality came crashing back down on the heels of his euphoria.
He could talk about bringing her into his life, making her his mate, and keeping her by his side forever, but he couldn't forget the most complicated and important aspect of his life that would change hers forever: he was in perpetual hiding. Which would mean she would have to be as well.
She was human, yes, and would still be able to have a freer life walking about the world than he would. But if she was bound to him and his family, she would have to sacrifice much of that freedom.
It was possible she could keep rotating jobs at hospitals, although with the way modern technology was recording every aspect of everyone's lives, it was getting more and more difficult to stay hidden. He might even be able to get her a job at a secret demon hospital, but even if they did accept a human in their midst (unlikely), he knew she loved to work with babies, and those were few and far between for demons—a problem that, as a race, they were trying to overcome. But as with all races that possessed great longevity, change came slowly.
On the other hand, she would be more than welcome to join Nishikuni Corp., if she wanted, but he did not know if the business life would suit her. Knowing Rin, she would be willing to try for his sake, but she didn't exactly have great female models to look up to.
When it had become more acceptable for women of higher station to work, Touga tried to get Inukimi and Izayoi involved with the family company.
It was a short-lived endeavor.
Sesshoumaru's mother had been allowed to be CEO only once: during World War II. Touga, sensing the impending war with the signing of the Tripartite Pact with Germany and Italy in 1940, enlisted so that he would be an officer by the time war broke out (his pride at dropping from general to private could only withstand so much, after all).
By 1943, with the war well underway and Japan desperate for more fighters, all males in the family had either already enlisted or were conscripted. None of them complained. They had years of built-up battle lust that they were only too happy to unleash.
With Inukimi's previous experience in helping to head a vast demon empire, she had been willing to head the company while the men were at war. At the time, her iron-fisted rule and demand for more output hadn't been out of place; rather, it had appeared to humans to be the epitome of patriotism to the national cause. However, after the tragedy of Hiroshima and Nagasaki and the subsequent need to rebuild Japan, her despotic personality—which lacked any sympathy whatsoever for the struggles of humans, especially in the working class—lowered company morale to such an extent that Nishikuni Corp.'s workforce bled out, and the company almost went under for lack of employees. The business suffered for months before Touga ousted her, under the excuse that he would take over again while she returned home to "take care of their family."
Inukimi was so insulted, she vowed never to lift a finger to help the company again, even if Touga begged her. She also didn't speak a single word to him until 1950, when she grudgingly allowed that a new decade could mean a new start. Sesshoumaru couldn't remember a time when his mother had held such an obvious grudge—not even when his father left her for Izayoi centuries ago.
As for Izayoi, she had never felt comfortable with the notion of heading a large corporation, but as a human, she had more freedom to move about the world, and she helped in what ways she could. Some decades, she infiltrated the Demon Slayer Corps as an undercover agent. Other times, she played something of a human ambassadorial role at Nishikuni Corp., holding a high-level position where she wasn't expected to do much beyond meeting with and wooing human clients. Other times, she simply managed their vast household.
Sesshoumaru had never cared to think before how Izayoi withstood this type of life. Did she enjoy it? Did she mind it? Or had it been too long for a human? She had been alive since the late 1200s, after all.
At times, that age seemed a weight keeping her rooted in the past. Izayoi still struggled to adapt to modern technology, often decades behind. Touga and Inuyasha had only just been able to detach her from her rotary phone and familiarize her with a cell phone, but they kept her restricted to the flip-phones that were geared to the aged population. Izayoi could barely handle a computer—she was in no way ready for 24/7 access to the internet on a smartphone.
Much of it had to do with the noble sensibilities she had been born with. (The influx of pornographic adware would likely have sent her into apoplexy.) But those ingrained sensibilities were also the reason she did not take an active interest in building a "career."
The feminism wave of the 1980s had completely passed her over (to her credit, she sometimes said she felt like she was still living in the 1780s). She even struggled with the concept that women were allowed to work, let alone that they wanted to. Touga had offered to send her to college multiple times since the mid 20th century, but aside from taking some typist and secretarial classes in the 1950s (in a rare instance when she had followed a trend other than fashion and homemaking), she hadn't bothered learning more. It was a start, at least.
So perhaps life as a secluded housewife suited Izayoi more than he would have thought.
But he already knew that Rin and seclusion did not go together. She was a product of the modern world: connected to everyone through the internet and social media. His family, on the other hand, did not form deep attachments to humans, lest the latter figure out their secrets. They took as few photographs as possible—virtually none aside from their trophy CEO portraits. They had no social media. They sought to erase anything that could show they existed.
There was yet another sacrifice she would have to make as well—likely the greatest one of all.
He knew she was tired, so he hoped in her somnolent state that she didn't find his question strange. "Rin…if you had to choose between staying here with me or returning to your family…which would you choose?"
Rin pressed a soft kiss to his skin. "Right now, I want nothing more than to stay here forever. I never want to go back to the real world," she said with a soft laugh. Then she sighed. "But I have a job, and I would eventually miss my family. Is there a reason I can't have both?"
The innocent question cracked something inside him. She has no idea. "I don't think so."
She frowned. "Why not?"
"Would your family accept you—" and he hated to use this word, but he couldn't think of a suitable alternative at the moment without frightening her "—dating a demon?"
Her grip on his arm tensed. "I…honestly don't know."
"It wouldn't matter anyway, Rin. Because they can't know. The secret is too great to put in the hands of that many humans." He had already chosen to fully trust her—but his trust and that of his family's only extended so far.
And knowing how she had longed and struggled to find a family, he had no doubt it was the most important thing to her. He couldn't take that away from her.
Bringing Rin into his life would be like trying to hide the sun in a cave.
He buried his face in Rin's hair again and clutched her tighter, his body fighting what his mind was telling him.
He had to let her go.
He just wanted to hold his mate for a few moments longer though.
No, not my mate. He couldn't think like that. If he did, he would never be able to part from her, and he would not be able to live with himself as a result. No matter what Rin said, he did not deserve her unconditional kindness, and she did not deserve the life of hiding he would foist upon her.
Rin lifted herself onto her elbows and stared into his eyes, like she was trying to figure out what he was thinking. Then she leaned down and pressed a firm kiss to his lips. He accepted her greedily, knowing, fearing that this would be the last time.
And all too soon, she pulled away. But then she brought a hand up to his face, tracing his brow with her thumb. "Don't think too hard about the future right now, Sesshoumaru. Let's just enjoy the moment. Alright?"
He nodded. She leaned back down as if to kiss his lips again, but then changed direction and ducked behind his ear, nuzzling it with her nose before sucking the tender skin there. His whole body jerked, cock flying up to half-mast in just one move. She had discovered earlier that the areas behind his ears were his most sensitive spots (human form or not, he was still a dog, after all), and she took advantage of it often.
If he had his tail, it'd be wagging. Instead, he slipped his arms around her and let a smile cross his lips. Then he murmured in a gravelly voice, "I see we're playing dirty now."
He flipped her over, pinning her beneath him. She cried out in shock, and her cries quickly transformed into ones of pleasure as he lavished kisses all across her body, memorizing every dip, curve, and freckle—internalizing what types of moans she made when he nipped her lips, sucked her tits, or licked her clit. He would need the comfort of these memories in the fast-approaching future. But for this moment, at least, he would savor everything she had to give and give her everything of himself in return.
Night had fully settled when Sesshoumaru woke up. His body tensed as he tried to get his bearings, for he was still not used to getting so much rest in such a short period of time. But when he found Rin curled against his chest as she slept, he relaxed, but only a fraction.
He had delayed the inevitable long enough.
He pressed a kiss to her crown and extracted himself from her hold. He already knew she was so deep a sleeper, a bomb could go off next to them, and she wouldn't wake, although that didn't stop her from flopping around as she slept. So, it was a testament to their coital exercises that she was so exhausted, she didn't even move.
He left his fur with her, a way for him to keep feeling her against him even as he went about their camp, packing up all her belongings. He even returned to the spot on the lake where he had found her clothes and soap the previous day after hearing her cry for help. He gathered them, but when the scent of the soap hit him, it brought the memories of her skin beneath his lips bubbling to the surface, so he slipped the bar into his pocket instead of her backpack.
With everything but her sleeping bag and tent packed, he lifted her out of the tent, keeping her ensconced in the sleeping bag, since the night air bit with frigid teeth. He broke down the tent and packed that away. Then, he dug out the car keys he found in her backpack.
He found her cellphone next to them and remembered all the pictures she had showed him of the forest and the flowers. While he trusted her not to reveal the secrets of this place, he could not take the chance that the photos would get out. Even if they were only flowers and the location tracking hadn't been enabled on the photos due to the lack of signal, with all cellphone photos now saving to the cloud, it would be easier than ever for the Demon Slayer Corps to hack in, if necessary, and he didn't want to take the chance that they could trace where she had been.
He unlocked her phone, having seen her password multiple times over the last several days, and went to her photo album. He scrolled through the last several days of photos, all of the sanctuary and some selfies of her. She had asked early on to take photos with him, but he had declined.
He stopped scrolling when his eyes snagged on two thumbnails she had not shown him.
She was lying awake next to him while he slept. The first picture appeared to be an accidental candid shot where they were facing each other. It was dated from only their third day of knowing each other, yet her expression was so relaxed and unguarded, it was easy to think she was gazing at him with something like…love.
But that was impossible, because it was far too early. Even after all that happened today, such words had never been spoken. He himself did not understand the concept of love. What had happened today had been a potent mix of lust, fear of loss, and territoriality.
Of course, it was harder to tell himself that when she slid over to the next picture, where she looked at the camera with a huge smile.
Perhaps it was a conditioned response to taking a photo, but…he had grown to understand her smiles over the last few days. The professional one. The resigned one. The sad one that didn't quite reach her eyes. And, of course, her ecstatic one. This photo was the lattermost.
His heart constricted as he flipped back and forth between the two photos. Since he needed to avoid having tangible reminders of himself left for others to find, he had never cared about having his picture taken. Capturing moments in time held no sentimentality to him.
But for the first time, he wanted a reminder. Oh, how he longed to keep these.
His family had rules, however. Besides, it would be best for her to forget him—much as the idea tore at his heart—and he would have to try to forget her, even though it seemed impossible right now.
So he went to the beginning of her trip and deleted every photo thereafter.
He then shouldered her backpack, hoisted the still-sleeping Rin into his arms, and flew towards the sanctuary parking lot.
There were only a few cars in the lot, so hitting the unlock button on the key fob lit her car up. He brought her over to it, settling her in the passenger seat and putting her backpack in the back.
He drove her out of the sanctuary. The barrier they had purchased from the bat demon tribe (who ran a security company on the surface for humans and sold their demonic barriers for rather exorbitant prices to demons in secret) would keep her from reentering. It kept out all those, aside from his family, who did not possess a ticket, which was the only way they could enter the barrier. Demons were physically unable to enter, and as for humans, the barrier subtly repelled them with negative thoughts and feelings, more forcefully inducing illness upon those who tried to cross it.
He drove her down the road a ways and parked on the side of it so that no one would necessarily associate her as having come from the sanctuary. He opened the door and put out a leg, but then he made the mistake of turning around to take one last look at her.
It felt wrong to leave her like this, with her last memory of him being what they shared earlier that day. Aside from the marks left on her body, he had already erased every physical hint of their time together with the photos. It would be easier for her to forget him that way.
But for some reason…he still wanted to leave her with some sort of memento. He wanted her to know that he wasn't doing this because he was using her and throwing her away. Never—not her. Even though he knew it was for the best he let her live her life without him so that she could remain in the open, he wanted her to understand his feelings for her…whatever they were.
The proper thing to do would be to wake her up and tell her, so they could finally talk about this. Though she had shied away from any decision-making before, the proper thing to do would be to give her the choice to continue this relationship or end it.
But every look at her sent a jolt of possessiveness and arousal coursing through his body, and he knew he was still too keyed up from their joining to make any rational decisions. If he woke her up and she made any sort of plea with him to pursue this relationship, no matter the personal cost to her, he would not be able to resist. Yet, if she ultimately chose to walk away…he wasn't absolutely sure he would be able to let her go. It would defeat the purpose, taking away her choice entirely.
He was a selfish creature, after all, used to pursuing only what he wanted.
For once, he was trying not to be selfish. He couldn't risk ruining that.
He sighed, looking around at the mountainous road, and that's when he spotted it, growing along the side. Most considered it no better than a weed, but as he recalled what Rin had told him a week ago, he knew it was the perfect summation of his feelings, and she would treasure it as she treasured all flora.
He found an old, empty, plastic water bottle in her cup holder. Using his claws, he sliced off the top of it, dug up the plant, and placed it inside, dripping some water from her camping water bottle into it to keep the flowers from wilting.
He placed it on her driver's seat, then leaned in and pressed one final kiss to her lips before locking her car and shutting the door.
The hardest thing he had ever done in his life was to turn away and fly back into the sanctuary, tossing his cut-up shirt, suit jacket, vest, and coat into the dumpster as he passed.
His instincts screamed at him with every meter—Go back, she's yours, don't let her get away—but as much as the thoughts tore at his insides, he soldiered on.
He landed in front of the resort's main doors, dressed only in his fur, pants, and shoes. Without his keys (which he had left on his desk that fateful morning before he confronted Inuyasha), there was no other way to get into the resort. Luckily, with it being so late at night, there would only be one attendant on duty at the front desk.
Despite the turmoil whirling inside him, he walked into the lobby with his head held high, like he was coming back from a simple trip to Tokyo and not a ten-day disappearance.
Shippou, the fox-demon receptionist on duty and one of Inuyasha's close friends, was leaning back in a chair, his tawny fox feet crossed up on the desk as he paged through a magazine. He looked up from it and yelped, jumping so badly his chair tipped over.
"S-Sesshoumaru-san, where have you been?" he asked, scrambling up to his full height. Despite being an adult, he still barely reached five feet, even with his new-age man bun, which he had adopted to hearken back to the hairstyle he wore as a child.
Sesshoumaru approached the front desk and held out a hand. "Give me the master key."
"O-Of course," Shippou answered, unclipping it from his belt. "But sir, can you at least tell me what happened to you? Your arm—"
"I'll be in the family suite," Sesshoumaru said, not bothering to explain. He heard Shippou sniff twice, subtly, and he whirled on the receptionist, glaring at him. "Do not try to scent my whereabouts."
Shippou yelped and flinched back, crashed down into the seat. He bowed his head repeatedly. "Y-Yes, sir. I-It won't happen again!"
Sesshoumaru bared his teeth as he strode down the hall to the master suite. Just his luck that the demon on duty had to be the fox. No doubt he could smell the forest and sex on him. The question was whether or not the boy would believe what his nose was telling him. Then again, Sesshoumaru wondered if Shippou even knew what sex smelled like. The boy chased a million girls, but nothing ever seemed to work out.
The Nishikunis kept a suite for themselves on the premises to use as they pleased. On the nights when Sesshoumaru stayed over, given the long drives back to Tokyo, where the family complex was located, he used it to freshen up.
Even though the exterior of the building was the same they had built back in the Meiji era, they had renovated the interior multiple times over the years to keep things modern. Some rooms still retained their original Japanese motif; others had been done in the Western style. However, all the rooms featured heavy front doors with mechanized locks. Demons were territorial after all and did not feel safe any longer behind simple shoji doors.
Their family suite was on the top floor overlooking the resort grounds. He entered the set of rooms and went to the closet, pulling out one of his extra suits. He would have to get his fur sewn into a new trench coat, since that one was ruined.
He threw the clothes on the bed and went into the modern bathroom. He tossed his fur over the shower door (knowing he would have to wash it as well), kicked off his shoes, and shucked off his pants. They landed with a thud on the ground, and he frowned, picking them up to dig in the pockets. He pulled out Rin's bar of natural soap along with his human falsifier accoutrements. He had forgotten about the soap.
He brought it into the shower, turning on the water. Cold water blasted him at first, morphing into warm, but he made no move to wash himself down.
He could still smell Rin on his body. She was especially potent on his cock. He didn't want to wash her away. He growled, leaning his forehead against the tiled shower wall and clenching his fist as the water beat against his back.
He had to forget her. But why was it so hard?
Was it because this was the first time he had denied doing something he wanted?
He grabbed her soap, rubbing it between his fingers, releasing its mellow scent. Memories of licking her skin crashed over him like a deluge, and his body reacted.
He growled, putting the shower on the coldest setting possible. Humans said it worked to damper arousal. He wondered if he, who could not feel the cold as much, would be affected.
He stood there for a moment, waiting, but it didn't seem to work. Finally, he grabbed his cock with his soapy hand, pumping himself, pretending it was Rin's fingers wrapped around him.
Her words from the previous night drifted into his mind. Let's check the shaft now, shall we? He smirked at the memory. Who knew she was such a little minx?
He worked himself until he came, gasping her name. He leaned against the wall of the shower, watching as his seed slid down the tile. But it only reminded him of watching his essence trickle down Rin's thighs, so he moved aside to let the water wash it away. He sat down, resting his head on his knee.
He had been her first. While part of him rejoiced at that, the other part worried at just how much his leaving was going to hurt her because of it. She had given herself to him because she trusted him to care for her—not leave her. Hadn't she told him how low she set her expectations for finding a family, so she wouldn't be disappointed? How could he dash the one high expectation she had had?
To that end, he almost wished he hadn't been her first. It would have been so much easier to forget him if he were just one in a string of men she had already had.
Of course, the thought of any other man having her, past or future, made his hackles rise. He knocked his head against the shower, trying to shake some sense into himself. What use was it going around in circles? He had made his decision. He had to stick to it.
He wasn't sure how long he sat in that cold shower, trying to forget about Rin. He knew eventually he would have to soap himself down and erase the last vestiges of her, but he just couldn't do it.
Still…the scent of the soap on his cock was comforting. If he had to wash himself…it would be with her scent. He stood up then and took it in hand, but it was then he noticed just how small the bar was.
This soap was a precious memento, and he did not want to waste it by using it all up too quickly. He would reserve it for those times when the memories became too much to bear.
So, he would use it just this once—just to start weaning him off her—and then he would put it away.
He rubbed her soap all through his hair, his body, and his fur. The tension in his muscles relaxed as the scent enveloped him, but the demon within still paced in anger, upset that he even had to commit the atrocity of using the soap as a substitute for her.
When he was finished, he shut off the shower and wrung out his hair and fur. He slung a towel around his waist and pulled out the hair dryer from the vanity. Like any dog, he hated having excess water on him.
It took him twenty minutes to completely dry his locks and fur. In the meantime, he finally was able to get a good look at himself.
A long, pink scar still bisected his left arm. That would be easy enough to hide. The slashes on his chest had long healed, only the palest traces remaining. None of the other superficial wounds remained.
No one need ever know.
When he was done drying, he opened the bathroom door and froze as two new scents mixed with that of Rin's soap pouring out of the bathroom.
His eyes darted over to the chair by the window, where his father sat waiting.
Sesshoumaru closed the door to the bathroom, not wanting any hint of the sex smell on his discarded pants to hit his father's sensitive nose.
And then a familiar, squeaky voice exclaimed, "SESSHOUMARU-SAMA!"
Jaken, his centuries-long retainer, ran out from behind the bed, arms extended as if to hug Sesshoumaru's leg. But the imp reeked of forest, leaves and mud sticking to his uniform, so Sesshoumaru stepped aside to avoid him, and Jaken collided face-first with the door.
"Oh, why are you so cruel to me, Sesshoumaru-sama? I've been searching the forest for you for days!"
Sesshoumaru ignored him and strode toward the bed. His father met his gaze, gold to gold. His markings were on full display, and his ears unbound. So Touga had already been here, rather than in the city, where he stayed disguised almost all the time, even at home.
"Sesshoumaru, where the hell have you been?" the great dog demon demanded.
Sesshoumaru's eyes widened. He rarely saw his father so upset. So this is where Inuyasha gets that tempestuous personality.
The lie came easily. "I took an impromptu vacation."
Touga's stern face exploded into one of shock as his mouth dropped open. "A vacation? You? Don't lie. You've never taken a day off in your life."
"So it was time," Sesshoumaru answered. "But I'm curious. How did you know to come here?"
"Shippou contacted me, of course. I told the entire Sanctuary staff to call one of us as soon as you had been found."
"Us?"
"Your mother and I were worried sick this past week."
Sesshoumaru's brows rose. His mother, worried? That didn't sound like her at all. He huffed. "I used to go years without seeing her. She never cared before. I find it hard to believe she would do so now."
Touga gritted his teeth. "You don't know, Sesshoumaru, because you do not have children. Of course your mother cares. You are her only son. She sent me texts every day, wondering if I had heard from you."
"I am an adult and can take care of myself. I hardly need to let you know my business," Sesshoumaru answered.
"Dammit, Sesshoumaru, you know things are different now. You can't just disappear without us worrying that you've been captured or killed. Now why don't you tell me what really happened?" He walked over and dropped Sesshoumaru's wallet and cellphone on the bed. "You left those on your desk. Somehow, I doubt you got very far on your 'vacation' without them."
Sesshoumaru frowned. "You went into my office?"
"Of course I did. Jaken and I went looking for clues as to your whereabouts. Besides, someone had to take over your duties after you vanished."
They're acting like this is all some great mystery. Did Inuyasha say nothing about our fight? He would have expected his brother to be crowing to the rooftops that he had defeated him.
There was a sudden click behind him, and Sesshoumaru whirled around to find Jaken opening the door to the bathroom. "Jaken, what are you doing?"
Jaken froze. "I-I was merely going to retrieve your clothing and put it in the laundry, Sesshoumaru-sama."
"Instead of seeing you my dirty clothes, why don't you wash yourself instead? You reek, and it offends my nose."
Jaken's eyes bugged out. "M-My apologies, Sesshoumaru-sama. I will go wash at once!" He ran out of the room, no doubt to head to the employee restroom, since he would never presume to use the one in the Nishikuni suite unless permitted.
Sesshoumaru returned his attention to his father. Touga peered at him in suspicion, but whatever he was thinking, he didn't say. "Now, why don't you start by explaining this?" Touga asked, grabbing Sesshoumaru's scarred arm.
Sesshomaru's arm tensed. "A small disagreement with Inuyasha."
"Small?" his father scoffed, releasing his arm and going back to the table, where he picked up a bag that clinked. "You certainly have a knack for understatements." He shoved the bag at Sesshoumaru, who took it and looked inside.
The broken pieces of Tokijin lay within.
Sesshoumaru frowned. "Where did you get this?"
"Jaken found it this afternoon. He was part ecstatic, part terrified, but it was the first clue we had gotten to your whereabouts, so he ran back to tell us the news. We had no word from you for ten days, Sesshoumaru. All the staff knew was that you and Inuyasha had gotten into another fight, but he came back and left, whereas you didn't. They weren't worried at first, thinking perhaps you were cooling off somewhere, but when one day turned into two and two turned into three, they started to fret. It didn't help that as soon as I confronted Inuyasha about it, he blew up in my face and suddenly ran off on some 'business trip,' where he refused to pick up his damn phone. He returned a week later, but I was here, so I couldn't confront him…."
Touga sighed and walked back towards the window, running his hands through an already messy ponytail, like he had repeated this action constantly throughout the day. He leaned over on the table, gripping it so hard, the wood creaked. "I swear," he spat, "you two are both adults, and yet you still act like teenagers sometimes. When Jaken found that sword, I finally realized how serious the situation must have been. I'm not ashamed to say I blew up Inuyasha's phone, but he turned it off. I finally got Izayoi to extract the story from him." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "The only answer I'm missing now is where you were if you weren't near your sword."
Sesshoumaru frowned. "If you know about the fight and what started it, then you should know what my position was on the matter. The encounter showed me how stubborn Inuyasha was being, so to prevent myself from killing your beloved son, I decided to remove myself from the premises and…clear my head for a few days."
It was a lie, and the look his father gave him said he didn't buy it. But his next words surprised him.
"So, did it work? This…'impromptu vacation' of yours?"
"Yes, surprisingly."
Touga assessed him carefully, looking for the lie. But this time, he spoke only the truth. Finally, his father sighed. "If that's the case, I'm glad to hear it. I've been worried about you for a long time, Sesshoumaru. You've been too focused lately on our survival. You're forgetting how to live."
Sesshoumaru's brows creased in confusion. "But you're one of the demons most adamant about our species' survival. Why should you care if I pour all my focus into ensuring it?"
Touga walked over and put his hands on Sesshoumaru's shoulders, giving them a squeeze. "Because I want to see you happy, Sesshoumaru. If furthering the cause of our survival brought you joy, I wouldn't mind in the least, but I know you see it merely as a duty to fulfill. I want you to find something to live for."
Sesshoumaru's heart squeezed. He had just left behind the one person he might have lived for. She was probably long gone by now. Still, how could he bring himself happiness at the cost of hers?
He would just continue to live life alone, as he had always had. He was used to it. It wouldn't be that hard.
He hoped.
Touga continued speaking. "You're my beloved son too, you know. I wish you would try to remember that." He cracked a sardonic smile. "I would have been just as furious with Inuyasha for killing you if you had done the same to him."
Inuyasha had said something similar to him after the fight, hadn't he?
Sesshoumaru huffed and twisted out of his father's grip, reaching down to pick up his suit. "He surprised me with his fervor. I did not think he cared about the girl so much. I will not let him take me by surprise next time." He thought about it for a beat or two, and then added, "If he wishes to bring the girl here as he planned, I will not stand in his way this time."
Touga blinked. "That's…very generous of you. But I don't think you have to worry about that anymore.
Sesshoumaru's eyes flitted up to meet his father's. "So, it's done then? He's given away our secret to her?"
"Yes. Apparently, he also used this 'business trip' to cool off…but when he came back, he was more resolved than ever to tell Kagome the truth, but he didn't want to risk bringing her back to the resort after you made your…opinions known. So he met up with her last night and told her."
Though Inuyasha's impetuousness once again chilled him, Sesshoumaru could no longer stoke the fires of anger from their fight. After all, what could he say, when just hours ago, he had been with Rin and even considered bringing her into the family?
But he would never admit that aloud. After all, his family could never know about the time he spent with her.
Still…now that he knew it was possible for a human to accept a demon fully in this day and age, he wondered if maybe he had been wrong about Kagome.
"And? How did she take it?"
"According to Izayoi, your brother came home last night, wouldn't say a word, locked himself in his room, and hasn't come out, so I'm guessing…not well."
AN: So…I hope last chapter sated some of your smexy time needs, because as you might have guessed from this one…it's gonna be a while. (#SorryNotSorry) Don't hate me. Love you guys. 😙
In the meantime, if you find yourself in dire need of some SessRin smut, you can check out my SessRin Smut Week contribution, Coitus Interruptus: The Cockblocking Chronicles, which has a little plot sandwiched between some heavy overdoses of smut.)