The kitchen in CJ & Danny's House
Sunday, July 19th 10am
"I could kill you, you know that?" Donna said as she walked into the kitchen and found Danny juggling the baby and the coffee pot.
"What'd I do?" he asked incredulously.
"You made Josh broody," she replied as she ran a finger over Imogen's knuckles and then kissed them.
"That's wasn't me, that was all her," Danny said with a snort. "Wanna hold her for a while? I need to make two pots of coffee."
"Sure," she said as she took the baby from him. "Joking apart, I'm concerned."
"About what?"
"Josh bonded with the baby last night."
"And that's a bad thing?"
"No, it's an adorable thing .."
"But you're not ready to start a family .. "
"It has nothing to do with starting a family."
"Then what?"
Donna popped her head around the kitchen door to make sure nobody was within earshot.
"I think he's nervous about saying anything to CJ now - for fear of rocking the boat."
"Did he say that?"
"He mumbled something to that effect. Did CJ say anything?"
"She's glad he came. It was the last thing she said last night before she passed out. She can't hold her liquor anymore and it's pissing her off."
"Danny .."
"Yeah?"
"There's something I should tell you."
"About CJ?"
"And me. And Josh."
She had his undivided attention now.
"Shoot .."
He poured them both a cup of coffee and leaned against the kitchen island right next to her.
"You weren't around for any of this, and I don't know whether CJ ever talked to you about it," Donna began tentatively.
"The Israeli embassy is going to give you four people, so for that leg of the trip you can sit in on a couple of meetings."
"Really?"
"Mhmm. Page twelve," CJ said as she handed her the bulky file.
"Great. That's great."
"Josh Lyman needs a smack in the head."
"Why?"
"He sold you a bill of goods."
"Not at all. He's gone out of his way to give me every opportunity he can."
"Okay."
"Hasn't he?"
"Absolutely."
"C.J.?"
"If he was giving you every opportunity, you would have grown out of this job three years ago. You can't blame him. He's never gonna find anybody else as capable."
[…]
"You know, you can't blame Josh. It's not his job to -"
"I don't blame Josh, it takes two of you. You choose to stay.
"It's the White House."
"It's not the White House, it's him."
"Okay. I don't really want to- "
"Why didn't you get a drink with the guy from the Post-Intelligencer? You knew what was on your desk, you knew what was on Josh's desk. It wouldn't wait until Monday?"
"Why did you cancel your camping trip? We're going to be out of here in a few minutes, you're going home to a rerun of Letterman. I'm sorry. I just-"
"You what?"
"Nothing."
"You what, Donna?"
"I think Ben's great. I think you guys are great together. I hope it works."
"Have you seen us together?"
"Not really. What should I be doing? Instead of this?"
"Anything. You should... go to lectures and symposia and look for opportunities with non-profits and have one-night stands with reporters from the Post-Intelligencer and go on dates with what's-his-name from the Solicitor General's office, and anything that doesn't have to do with Josh Lyman."
"Wow. Okay. Let's not do this."
Danny looked at her appraisingly before he asked his question.
"Does Josh know about this conversation?"
Donna coloured slightly before saying, "yes. It was - I don't know what I was thinking .."
Danny gave her an understanding smile.
"I'm sure you had your reasons. Was he upset?"
"Yes."
"I would have been upset, too."
"I don't think this is at the heart of what's wrong between them, Danny, but it's likely a factor. Josh may bring it up, he may not. I just .. I don't want her to go in blind."
"I appreciate that. She'd get defensive right off the bat."
"So you agree that you should tell her .."
Danny mulled over it for a moment.
"No, I think you should tell her."
"Me?"
"Yes. It sounds like she was having a moment that night and, honestly, she may not even be completely aware that she hurt you."
He was positive CJ was going to be mortified, and equally sure she deserved the chance to apologize to Donna - but he kept that part to himself.
"We're running on borrowed time already," he said as he stepped up to the kitchen counter and poured a cup of coffee from the second pot. "We'll be lucky if Josh doesn't get called away for some emergency or other before you leave tonight. They may need help moving this along."
"Is she still asleep?"
Danny shook his head as he took Imogen back from her and indicated the cup of coffee he'd just poured.
"She's out by the pool. Why don't you take the coffee out and sit with her a while?"
Poolside, a few minutes later
"Hey .."
"Hey!" CJ lowered her legs off the wicker couch and patted the space next to her. "Is that for me?" she asked hopefully as she eyed the coffee mug.
"Danny made you decaf."
"Thanks!"
Donna lowered herself onto the seat and waited while CJ took the first exploratory sips.
"This is so pretty," she said after a while. "You've made a really nice home here."
"Thank you. It was quite an adjustment but it feels like home."
The silence stretched and stretched, and Donna wrapped her hands tighter around her own coffee mug; willing CJ to ask what was on her mind so that she didn't have to broach the subject.
"I can kinda hear the cogs grinding against one another, Donna," CJ said gently. "Is there something in particular you want to talk about? Is this about Josh?"
This was a lot harder than she had anticipated, Donna thought to herself. She had no way of knowing how it would go, and the thought frightened her a little. But ultimately she put her coffee on the ground, took a deep breath, and angled her body towards her companion.
"Do you remember the night in your office before the CODEL?"
The immediate change in body language laid bare the level of discomfort CJ was experiencing; and while the "and I'm sorry," that followed on the heels of a muted "yes" left no doubt in Donna's mind about the sincerity of the statement, it did make her wonder whether Danny had been wrong to suggest she approach CJ about it herself.
"That's not why I'm bringing it up." She instinctively put a hand out to try and stop CJ from saying anything else.
"Then why -"
Donna met her look of inquiry head on, and saw the exact moment understanding dawned in CJ's eyes.
"You told Josh about our conversation."
"Yes."
"Okay."
"I told Josh about it because -"
"You don't have to justify to me why you told Josh."
"We were working through how we let ourselves get so screwed up."
"I was out of line that night."
Donna exhaled sharply.
"Wow, this is hard .."
Suddenly she wasn't surprised any more that Josh was balking. But when she felt CJ squeeze her hand, she took another deep breath and said what she'd come to say.
"Without your advice I might not have hooked up with Colin, Josh might have shared his feelings with me in Germany, and it might have been a different ball game altogether. On the flip side, if none of that had happened, I wouldn't have had the career growth I had and I wouldn't have learned who I was without him. The things you said were hurtful, but they were also a catalyst for change. It took me a while to come to terms with that, but I did. It doesn't make the memory of those months any less painful, but I am able to separate my feelings about them from my feelings about you. Josh -"
"Is mad at me."
"Josh only found out about it recently. He hasn't had the same amount of time to process that I've had. And he wasn't there that night, so his perspective is different from mine by default. But it's floating around in his head somewhere, along with everything else that's upsetting him. This may be too hard for him to talk about, but I don't want you to be blindsided by it it comes up."
"And what if it doesn't come up?"
"Then you may want to think about bringing it up."
CJ pulled her hand away and ran it across the back of her neck before taking a long draw from her mug. Donna watched the emotions run across her friend's face and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Josh and I were still responsible for the actual breakdown. We were the ones who didn't talk about it and we were the ones who let things get as bad as they did. That part is all on us." When CJ continued to look stricken, she took the mug from her and placed it on the ground. Then she leaned over and hugged her. "I forgave you a long time ago, CJ."
The Kitchen
Josh sauntered in looking somewhat dishevelled.
"What are they doing out there?" he asked as he looked out of the kitchen window and caught sight of the two women.
"Getting a little sentimental," Danny said with a knowing smile as he poured him a cup of coffee.
"Morning .." Josh said to Imogen as her eyes followed him around. "Hey, she smiled at me!"
"It's probably just gas," Danny said with a snicker as he passed her over.
"Your mom's crazy, your dad thinks he's funny. What kind of an outfit are you running here?" Josh asked tenderly as he started to pace around the room with her. He pressed his lips to her head as she nestled against his neck, and then smiled in delight. "She's giving me little kisses," he exclaimed as she opened and closed her mouth against his skin.
"Hate to break it to ya, pal," Danny said as he patted Josh on the shoulder, "but that means she wants her mama."
Josh looked crestfallen.
"What gives?" he said to the baby as he lowered her from his shoulder and gave her an intense look. "I thought we were bonding .."
Imogen looked unimpressed, and her mouth continued to open and close.
Danny laughed and glanced up at the clock on the wall.
"Yup, definitely feeding time at the zoo."
"Should I - " Josh nodded towards the patio door.
"Yeah. I just need to grab something from upstairs."
Poolside, a few minutes after that
Donna looked up at the sound of the patio door sliding open, and suppressed a giggle at the sight of Josh walking towards them in a hurry with a flailing baby in his arms. Danny arrived a moment later. He knelt on CJ's side of the seat and placed a nursing pillow and cover on her lap. When she leaned her head against him, he put an arm around her shoulder and whispered, "everything okay?"
"Mhmm."
He knew better, but he also knew that there was nothing he could say or do right then. As Josh handed the baby over to her mother, Danny's eyes cut to Donna's. He responded to her eye movement by raising himself off his knees.
"You gave him the baby?" she hissed as he followed her.
"What did you expect me to do, withhold her from him?"
"If he turns broody again, I'm coming after you. With a hatchet."
Danny gave a hearty chuckle as he pulled the sliding door open and let her precede him inside.
Josh lingered as CJ draped the cover over Imogen.
"Does it hurt?" he asked after a while.
"It did until I, you know, toughened up in certain places."
Josh returned her small smile with one of his own, and cast his eyes over the surrounding area.
"You've really settled into this life .."
"Yes, I have." It seemed to CJ as though he was having a hard time wrapping his head around the fact, and she wondered briefly whether that was part of what was going on between them. There was really only way to find out.
She took a deep breath.
"Josh .."
"You know those two are in cahoots, don't you?" He was looking over at the kitchen window - trying to make out whether Donna and Danny were watching them.
"I figured. Josh?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm glad you came."
"Me too."
There was silence for a heartbeat, before CJ said, "there's no use beating around the bush here, is there? We need to talk .."
"Yeah."