Natalie didn't attend school that day. Neither did Sayori, or Monika, or even Natsuki or Yuri once they'd found out about what had happened.
In many stories, the experience after a traumatic event is often described to be a blur, some incomprehensible few hours of nothing, yet there was no better way to describe how Natalie was feeling. She'd been driven to the hospital following the ambulance by Monika, her herself given pain medication for the bruise forming on her shoulder after busting Sayori's front door open, and then made to play the waiting game.
By the time she was even able to see Sayori, it was already late in the evening. Sayori's parents had reluctantly left the hospital for the night, leaving only a half hour window for visitors.
Natalie stopped at the door to the room. Sayori had been given a room to herself, a fairly spacious one with grey armchairs in each corner and a standard hospital bed in the centre. Her neck was being supported by a brace that prevented her from moving in the slightest, and her hands were bandaged and sat uselessly by her sides. She stared dazedly at the ceiling, blinking every once in a while.
"I know you're there, Natalie," she said. Her voice sounded dry and crackly, lacking its usual sweet lilt.
"Sayori . . ." She closed the glass door behind her.
Sayori lifted a hand to motion weakly towards a bouquet of tulips opposite her. "Yuri brought flowers, and Natsuki made a card," she stated.
Natalie was lost for words or actions. She meekly sat herself on the edge of the bed, very gently so as not to worsen Sayori's injuries further. "S-Sayori," she whispered, her voice hurt, "why . . .?"
She watched as a tear formed in the corner of Sayori's eye and proceeded to drizzle down to her cheek. All the while, her voice remained almost apathetic. "I-I couldn't keep my promise, Nat. I made an important promise to you and then broke it. It's because of my own weakness and selfishness that I have to watch you and the others suffer-"
"S-Sayori, no, don't talk like that," Natalie quickly interjected. She held her forearm gently. "You seem to believe you're weak, but you're hands-down the strongest person I know." She tentatively wiped a tear from her eye. "You're my best friend, Sayori, and I just want what's best for you. I want to spend time at the Literature Club, but without you it feels like there's no point in being there. Who else would I walk to school with every morning? Who else would wake me up when I've slept past all of my morning alarms? Or secretly take my money for snacks? Or publicly embarrass me in the most perfect way possible? I just . . . I'd miss you too much . . ."
"You saved me, didn't you?"
Natalie gazed into her dull, tired blue eyes, lacking their typical shine. "Hm?"
"You and Monika, you were the ones who got me down, weren't you?" she asked. "No one's telling me anything, but I remember hearing your voice, until I didn't . . ."
Natalie nodded her head. "I was worried about you, especially after how much you were struggling yesterday, so Monika and I decided to check in on you early," she half-lied. Did that really count as a lie? "I-In that few hours though, I did some research, and I compiled a list of top private therapists in Japan, all of which have been reported to be really great with teens. I'll cover the costs, that's fine, but I just-"
A pair of arms surrounded her so quickly that she didn't even have a chance to think. She was yanked down on top of Sayori, bracing herself with her hands on her shoulders. Sayori's grip didn't ease one bit, but rather tightened with every movement Natalie made. Soon she felt the fabric covering her shoulder beginning to moisten as the silent room filled with small muffled sobs.
Petting her tangled hair with one hand, Natalie sat them up a little so that they were both more comfortable and allowed Sayori to cry for as long as she needed. She was glad she'd closed the door behind her, since Sayori's cries only increased in volume steadily, and would only simmer down again when Natalie would gently hush her so that they wouldn't disturb any other nearby patients.
"I-," Sayori gulped, "I-I'm so sorry! I just want this feeling to go away, Natalie! Why won't it go away?" she sobbed.
"Ssh, don't apologise, never apologise," Natalie responded soothingly. "I promise you, things will get better. As the saying goes, when you hit rock bottom, the only way is up. And if anyone is strong enough to pick themselves back up from rock bottom, it's you."
Sayori sniffled. "Do you really think so?"
Natalie pulled away a little and looked down at Sayori's face, her eyes now watery and irritated and her lip subtly quivering. She wiped a tear from her eye with the pad of her thumb and cupped her cheek with her hand. "I know so."
Natalie entered the smaller waiting room again. It was finally calm once more now that the evening had arrived and the sun had set. Yuri had already left to give Natsuki a lift home. The only person remaining, sat anxiously in a chair in the corner with a fashion magazine across her lap, was Monika.
Monika's eyes shot up at her the moment she entered. "How is she?" she demanded. "Is she doing okay? Is she even awake? Did the doctors say anything?"
"She's . . . I know I felt hopeless before, but I think that hope might just be returning," Natalie replied. "Sayori's physically recovering surprisingly well, and her doctor said she'd be free to return to school by Thursday should she choose to. I . . . actually think she might be okay."
A beyond relieved smile made it onto Monika's wary face. "Oh, I'm so glad! I haven't had a chance to see her, but I plan to visit tomorrow after school and say hello," she told her as she stood up and placed the magazine away on one of the coffee tables.
"Don't you think 'hello' is a little too casual in these kind of circumstances?" Natalie questioned. "Did you forget what happened this morning?"
Monika sighed and led the way out, silently indicating for Natalie to follow. "I will never forget what happened this morning, but that doesn't excuse reliving this trauma for the foreseeable future. What Sayori needs right now is a positive, rather than negative, atmosphere in which to heal, and if I can make that healing process any easier, I will," she explained. "I'll also never forget how brilliant you were this morning, Natalie." Her eyes locked on hers and her gaze softened. "If it weren't for you, we wouldn't even be having this conversation. You saved a person's life."
Natalie's eyes trailed on the tiled floor of the hospital entrance. "Yes, well, it was you who thought to cut Sayori free, and this entire plan in the first place. Speaking of which, is your finger okay?" she asked.
Monika held up her injured right hand. Layers of bandages had been wrapped along the entire length of her index finger. Only the fingertip showed through at the top, which was looking significantly paler than the rest of her hand, almost purple.
"The bandages are a little tight, but I get to take them off in two days," she informed her. "If it gets infected, which there's a good chance it will, I get to come back and pick up some antibiotics!" Her voice was laced with weariness and such fake enthusiasm. "At least I can still drive, I guess."
Natalie smiled at her fondly. "I can drive us if you'd prefer. Maybe we can go and get food since neither of us have eaten since 5 in the morning," she suggested.
"It's okay," Monika answered. "You're shoulder's not doing so well, so-"
"My shoulder's really not that bad, especially after the pain meds I took," Natalie insisted. "You can relax a bit, let your hand rest."
"Sayori's right, you know."
Natalie glanced over at her with her eyebrows furrowed as they left the building into the car park. The air was humid, and the sky was dark and clear. It was the epitome of a summer evening.
Monika took a deep breath of fresh air and smiled. "You really are a wonderful friend."
"Remember that when I make us get drive-through McDonalds." Natalie snickered at Monika's pout.
Natalie haphazardly parked Monika's car in her driveway while trying to internally filter out her panicked protests when they almost bumped into the door to her garage. She stopped the car and they sat in silence for a moment, neither of them moving.
"So I guess we never did get to see that festival," Natalie mused. "I wonder how much fried squid Natsuki missed out on."
Monika held her cola in her hand and stirred the remains with her straw. "Actually, you're wrong," she corrected her. "While you were researching therapists for Sayori, I was on the phone with the Student Council. I was friends with a few of them in Debate Club–we go way back. Anyway, after explaining the situation, while keeping Sayori's identity unknown to them, they arranged with the principal to have the festival postponed until next Monday. That'll give everything time to settle back before then."
"Oh jeez, Monika, that's great! But what about Yuri and Natsuki?" Natalie challenged.
"Whoa there, one thing at a time," Monika teased. "It's been a big day today. You deserve to rest for the evening at least. Besides, we're still expected to show up at school tomorrow, so let's not emotionally drain ourselves, yes? Oh, did you want me to drive you home?" Monika offered as she began to unstrap her seatbelt. "Here, I'll drive."
"Don't worry, I'll walk." Natalie handed Monika back her car keys.
Before Natalie could open the door, a hand on her arm stopped her. "Wait!"
She looked down at the hand grasping her sleeve, not harsh but undeniably desperate. Once Monika realised what she'd done, she was quick to timidly retract her hand.
"It's already dark out, and there are a lot of creeps who live in this area," Monika said. "Want to stay over for just one more night? Only if you want to, of course, ahaha, I wouldn't force you, like, force myself on you–n-no I didn't mean it like that, oh jeez. It's just that you still have some of your things in my room, and I'm just worried about your safety, and-"
"I'd love to," Natalie cut her off before her self-destructive ramblings could continue. "That sounds fun. And maybe this time we can sleepover like normal girls do, i.e. without the anxiety over our friends' very lives."
"Oh jeez, don't get too far ahead of yourself there," Monika quipped with a laugh.
The club was oddly quiet by the time Natalie arrived that Tuesday—Natsuki silently read through a manga novel, and Yuri her own book, while Monika was busily typing away on a laptop plugged into the wall. Even once she entered, no one really seemed to acknowledge her.
Natalie placed her bag down under the desk Monika was working at and watched over her shoulder. "What'cha doing?"
"Editing . . . the pamphlets . . ." She saved Sayori's suicide note poem to a seperate word document and replaced it with the initial poem she was supposed to read. "I don't think making this suicide scandal any worse is a good idea."
Natalie hummed in agreement. "Everyone I've spoken to today has mentioned the 'crazy attempted suicide' at least once. I guess it's the new hot gossip for the time being, but at least no one's suspected Sayori yet. I was asked where she was but I just told them she had a stomach bug from food poisoning."
"Good idea to make the excuse believable," Monika remarked. "We won't be sharing poems today, by the way. It's probably for the best, with the lack of Sayori and the fact that Natsuki never had the chance to write one to share."
"I was busy, okay?" Natsuki rolled her eyes and picked up her manga to join them, her eyes never leaving her page as she walked over to them and sat down opposite. "Jeez, there's no pleasing some people."
"If it makes you feel any better, I didn't write one either," Natalie said. "I'll try to come up with something tonight hopefully, but I can't make any promises."
"Oh, and I was meaning to ask, do you still have the cupcakes we made?" Natsuki asked. "Or did you already pig out at them?"
"It's fine, I have them, calm down," Natalie retorted. "I currently can't really use my kitchen due to how many I have stored there, but they haven't been touched. Why?"
"Well," Monika began, closing her laptop, "Yuri and I actually came up with an idea-"
"And what about me?!" Natsuki snapped.
Monika startled back and held her hands up in mock surrender. "Of course, I'm sorry. Yes, the three of us came up with an idea to host a welcome back party for Sayori on Thursday, providing that she does choose to return that day. If we already have all those cupcakes, there's no point in leaving them to go stale and be wasted."
"And what about next week?" Natsuki demanded. "The festival's on Monday, you know. We can't just have no cupcakes."
Yuri sighed and slid a bookmark into her page. "Natsuki, cupcakes are not the sole reason people indulge in such a fulfilling and enriching activity as the school festival. People will come to us to enjoy poetry and other forms of literature. We're not the Baking Society."
"We're not an Eavesdropping Society either, Yuri," Natsuki mocked.
"I somewhat expected your maturity levels to increase by at least a smidge, but I guess not," Natalie muttered.
Natsuki grinned. "See, Yuri? Even Natalie said you're being immature-"
"Natsuki, I meant you," Natalie groaned irritatedly. "Can we not just have a peaceful, non-argumentative and drama-free Literature Club session?"
Natsuki scoffed. "Like that ship hasn't already sailed . . ."
"And it's that kind of pessimism," Natalie removed a notebook from her bag and used it to lightly slap Natsuki across the head, "that causes this issue in the first place. So, if we're not exchanging poems today, what do you suggest we do for the next hour?"
Monika blinked and then stared at her, bemused. "O-oh, you were talking to me?"
"Well, you are the President of the Literature Club," she reminded her.
After a moment of thought, Monika nodded. "Well, okay everyone! We may as well resume the types of activities we did before Natalie joined, such as reading and exchanging pieces of literature amongst ourselves. You know how this works, of course," she laughed.
"Natalie?" Natalie felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around, stretching her spine in the process, and had to crane her neck to see Yuri standing just behind her with her book tucked under her arm. "Um . . . I was just wondering if you would like to spend some time together today," she suggested. "I-I mean, in the club."
"Oh, yeah, of course," Natalie replied brightly. She began to untuck her chair to stand up. "Are you two okay to hang out on your own for a bit?" she asked the others.
"We'll be fine," Monika insisted. Her gaze flickered between Natalie and Yuri, slightly anxiously. "Won't we, Natsuki?"
With a melodramatic sneer, Natsuki tucked her legs up on her chair and flipped a page of her manga in a rather aggressive fashion. "Yeah, I guess," she grumbled.
For the first time since Natalie had even met Yuri in person, there was a pure genuine smile on her face. She seemed properly excited, her energy coming almost close to Sayori's in an odd way of its own. She led them towards a desk near the back of the room, her violet hair swaying back and forth with each step she took.
"Okay! Can we start now?" Yuri asked eagerly, verging on begging. "Let's find a place to sit! . . . Ah, I'm being a little forceful, aren't I . . .? I'm sorry!" She averted her gaze quickly. "My heart . . . just won't stop pounding for some reason . . ."
"It's fine, Yuri, honest," Natalie insisted. "Come on, let's sit down and relax. That'll make you feel easier. I even have some yoga training if you want to do some meditation and mindfulness exercises," she humoured.
Yuri let out a small laugh. "Thank you for the offer, but I'm okay. I need to try to calm down. I won't be able to focus on reading like this . . ."
Natalie bit her lip nervously. She didn't like where this was going, and while she did everything possible to internalise those feelings of apprehension, she wasn't entirely sure how easily she was going to deal with this.
She just needed to think about this logically. What do you do when someone is feeling over-energised, often a child or puppy? Well, you calm them down, you do something relaxing, you get some fresh air and unwind.
"Would you like to go outside?" Natalie offered. "Maybe the fresh air might help you calm down a little if you're feeling this skittish."
"As kind as that offer is, Natalie, I'll be okay. Actually, I have a request," she said. A blush rose to her pale cheeks. "Do you mind if I make some tea first?"
"Help yourself," Natalie replied. "Mind making me a cup too?"
"Of course. If there's one thing that can make my reading time here any better, it's a nice cup of tea," she explained. "I'll just go get it."
With that, she placed her book down and daintily hurried off to the closet at the back of the room to retrieve her tea set. With Yuri distracted, Monika stood up and patted Natalie on the shoulder to gain her attention, leaning in to whisper in her ear.
"Can I talk to you in private?"
Natalie quickly nodded and glanced back at Yuri. She was still busy rummaging for the tea set, so she assumed they'd have plenty enough time for a short conversation.
Monika instinctively took Natalie's hand and led her out of the door to the classroom. Natalie looked down at their joined hands, their fingers entwined together, and forced herself to steady her breathing. Monika apparently hadn't noticed the latter's sudden awkwardness.
Monika quickly closed the door. "What's happening?" she asked worriedly.
Natalie's eyebrows furrowed. "What's . . . happening?"
"I don't know, you just have that look," she told her. "You know, the look you make when you're nervous? When your eyebrows do that thing and you chew your lip?"
"I-I don't–" She forced her eyebrows to return to their previous alignment. "I don't do a nervous thing."
Monika smiled fondly. "You do," she insisted. "Now tell me what's happening, because you're seriously beginning to worry me."
Natalie shook her head. "Honestly, nothing yet. Yuri's just beginning to show the same traits as before. It's nothing to get worked up about yet, nothing that can be confirmed, but after Sayori, this isn't a good sign exactly."
She nodded in understanding. "I see . . . Okay, well, I expected something worse, so I suppose that is somewhat a relief," she admitted. "Just keep me updated, okay? If things change, or anything goes south, don't be afraid to speak up. We're in this together now."
"I guess we are," Natalie agreed. "Also, you're still holding my hand."
Monika retracted her hand so quickly that it was as though Natalie's very touch had melted her flesh. She tucked back a loose piece of the bandage wrappings on her finger. "Oh right, I'm so sorry! I clean forgot!" She nervously laughed and adjusted her large white hair bow slightly, not that it needed to be adjusted. "Anyway . . . I believe you have a tea party waiting for you inside, Natalie."
"Oh yeah, I wouldn't miss it for the world," she mused.
⊱ ────── {.⋅ ✯ ⋅.} ────── ⊰
Author's note: After the angst of the previous chapter, I definitely enjoyed writing this a lot. I'm sorry if it's been a little while since I updated, but school transfer exams are coming up and I'm practically drowning in revision.
As I have said before, I don't really have much experience with what Sayori goes through, so if there are any errors/inconsistencies with my writing, please do point it out. I'm doing my best, but I am just one person without a beta here so mistakes are bound to occur.
There's some crazy-ass Yuri stuff coming soon though, so I really do hope that turns out well. Personally, Yuri may be my favourite character, so that should be exciting!
Anyway, thank you so much for reading, stay safe, and ily lots!