I do not own the rights to 9-1-1 or 9-1-1: Lone Star. Alexander Strand is my own character.

The 118 firehouse had been unusually silent since the confrontation that occurred a number of days prior.

Henrietta Wilson, or Hen to most, sat quietly at the table in the firehouse loft. The picture of Buck's bruised back was displayed on her phone in front of her. She stared down at it as if unable to look away. Her teammate, her friend, endured those horrible bruises for nearly two days with no medical help. Hell, he endured those bruises hours after they happened and still took the chores assigned to him with no complaint! Tears built up behind Hen's eyes and she swallowed tightly, trying to force them back.

Howard Han, known mostly as Chimney, was sitting at a table on the other side of the loft. He too was trapped in the cage that the picture cast. Buck's head was turned over his shoulder to show half of his face (though he was not looking at the camera but instead at someone just behind him out of the picture) and god damn it, Chimney could not stop staring at the wince of pain and shame on his expression. Typical of Buck, shame for something that wasn't his fault at all. It was Chimney and the rest of the 118 who should be shameful and Chimney knew it, and he was definitely feeling it.

Edmundo Diaz, or Eddie as he was commonly called, was lost in his own mind while sitting in the armchair of the firehouse living space in reality. Scenarios danced and twirling through his thoughts. What had he done to his best friend? What could he have done differently, for better or for worse? He'd hurt Buck terribly, he'd been close to starting a physical fight with him in the middle of Howie's grocery store. What if it had happened? What if Eddie said something to destroy his best friend completely? What if he really had said that something and just never bothered to be there for him?

Captain Robert Nash, Bobby to almost everyone who knew him, felt like he was on autopilot. His movements, while fluid and graceful, didn't quite register in his mind as he worked on preparing lunch for the firehouse. He could almost hear Buck's happy voice as he worked beside him, but Buck wasn't there. That voice was nothing but a memory, and for the foreseeable future, that's all that that voice would be: a memory Bobby would desperately try to hold onto. A memory of a man he loved like his own son, and a man he'd hurt so badly he ran away.

Athena's ban on reaching out to their former teammate had been lifted that morning, almost a week since Buck disappeared. The 118 still had no idea of where the man had gone off to but from the hints Athena, Maddie, Carla and Christopher dropped (accidentally or intentionally) the firefighters knew their friend was safe, out of state, and with an old friend.

What old friend, they didn't know. They could only hope that Buck was alright.

"We should've done something," Eddie's voice broke the heavy silence of the loft. He looked over from his seat, his expression screaming his regret. "We should have done something."

Bobby looked up from stirring the pan of stir fry on the stove, "Yeah, what makes you say that?"

"Bobby," Hen sighed tiredly. "Being sarcastic won't change a thing. All we can do is… hope we can make things right."

"Would Buck even want to talk to us though?" Bobby retorted. His eyes were dark, upset. "I mean, I wouldn't want to talk to me after what we did."

"You're not Buck," Hen replied. She rubbed her forehead and she gave another sigh. "You know how forgiving Buck is. We can't take advantage of that fact but he is."

The team fell into another silence for a minute or two, each fending off their own harsh thoughts, before it was broken once again, this time by Chimney.

"Ah, I can't take it anymore." The man came walking towards the kitchen, wiping his hands down his face. His posture was tense and unsure but his lips became set into a thin line. "I gotta call him."

"What, now?" Bobby said in surprise. "What if there's a call?"

"Then it gives us an excuse to end it if it turns south," Chimney replied tersely, already pulling out his phone. "I can't go any longer without apologizing or just saying something, you know? Maybe it'll go alright or maybe it won't, but I just need some sort of… closure."

Hen let out a long sigh before nodding. "Me too. We can't just let this hang open. We need closure, for us and for Buck."

Bobby swallowed then nodded. He took the stir fry off the stove and shut off the burner before walking closer to where Chimney was now sitting at his usual seat at the table across from Hen. She had gotten up to move around behind him and Bobby and Eddie sat in the chairs on either side of Chimney, content with being out of view of the camera for now.

Chimney had the video chat screen up, thumb hovering over the call button. He let out a long exhale in an effort to steady his nerves. Hen placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder and Chimney swallowed before pressing the call button. Silently, he prayed no one would pick up and he would get out of what he was beginning to think was a bad idea. Damn, why did he say anything to make him the one to have to do this?

Unfortunately for Chimney, someone did pick up after a number of rings. However when the camera image came through, it wasn't Buck. Instead it was another firefighter with a curious frown.

"Let me guess," he began, Texan accent easily recognizable, "Hollywood one-eighteen?"

Confused, Chimney nodded, "Uh yeah. I won't ask what city you are, not if Buck doesn't want us to know. Can I ask where he is though?"

Hen watched over Chimney's shoulder as the man appeared to walk through whatever building he was in. If Buck's phone was accessible and Buck wasn't in the same room, then it was likely the firehouse where he currently worked, which meant this man was part of Buck's new team. That also has the potential to mean Buck was in Texas, if this firefighter hadn't simply been born there and moved somewhere else which was also entirely possible.

"He's helping to clean the trucks," the firefighter said. He went down a flight of stairs and stopped walking for a moment, his expression serious. "Look, I know enough about this shit-show you're starring in to know you mean well, but I'm gonna tell you now, I'll be mighty pissed if you say something to hurt him."

"We'll try our best not to," Hen replied. "Right guys?"

The three around her nodded and verbally agreed but that didn't seem to comfort the firefighter through the screen. "Just be careful," he said. "He may try to hide it and push it down but Buck's still hurt over whatever happened. Whenever something has some sort of link to that firehouse of yours, he looks haunted."

Bobby felt a sharp pang in his chest at that. Buck hadn't really moved on at all it seemed. The fire captain swallowed tightly, thankful he wasn't in camera range as he wiped a hand down his face. Buck may be happier wherever he was but he wasn't without his past and Bobby didn't want that for the man.

"One last thing before I get Buck." Bobby tuned back in at the Texan man's words. "Chimney, I heard it in the news but Buck specified it was you, so rebar through the skull. What was that like?"

"It was… strange." Chimney smiled though he tried to pull the corners of his lips down. The question amused him when it shouldn't really. "I didn't feel it, Cap had to show me a picture of myself before I realized it was there."

The man through the screen chuckled softly. "Unbelievable…" He continued walking and the sounds of chatter became more audible. "Hey, I better not be hearing you talking about me over there, Chavez! Hey, Hollywood! Call for you!"

"Wha— Judd, are you snooping through my phone?!"

Eddie's breath caught in his throat as he heard his best friend's voice. He sounded just the same. Eddie hadn't really realized it but it had been so long since he last heard Buck's voice. Really heard it. Not just a mumble or blank reply, but full of life, joy, anger, annoyance, anything. Eddie caught himself frowning softly as he realized Buck was happy where he was and that made a small pain throb in his chest.

"Your LA buddies called and I was nearby!" Judd called. "Get your ass over here!"

"Fine!" Buck's reply was more amused than annoyed and faintly, Chimney could hear, "Are you alright finishing up on restocking Tim? I think I carried everything over…"

"Just have to organize it in the ambulance," replied another voice. "I got it. Thanks, Buck."

"Of course. I'll talk to you later?"

"Of course."

A few seconds later, the phone was being handed over and Buck's face filled the screen. Chimney felt his heart skip a beat; hearing his friend was alright was one thing but really seeing it, even through a screen, was another. Chimney leaned forward and grabbed a small, fake potted plant from the middle of the table to lean his phone up against at a distance where all four LA firefighters were visible.

"Thanks, Judd," Buck said. There was a faint reply—the other man must have already been walking away—and the 118 could see Buck walking somewhere quieter. "Ah, hi guys."

Hen smiled, "Hey. You look good, Buck."

Buck's cheeks pinkened slightly and he smiled back. "Thanks." He appeared to sit down, the sounds of his new team still in the background but not as loud as before. "I, uh… I didn't expect a call so soon."

Chimney smiled sheepishly. "I didn't want to leave this any longer…" Chimney hesitated, embarrassed but determined. "Ah, I'm just gonna say it. I'm sorry, Buck, for everything. Ignoring you, not seeing how wrong what we were doing to you was, for not thinking to do something about it and for not doing my job as your teammate and helping you. I should've seen just how much you were hurting. You weren't just my teammate, you're my friend and I feel terrible and I just… I hope that, in your own time, you can forgive me."

There was no reply for a long moment and Buck turned his head away. When he looked back at his phone, Chimney could see the tears glistening in the man's eyes and he felt his own tears building.

"I…" Buck swallowed tightly. "Thanks for that, Chim. I accept the apology but I don't know if I can forgive you just yet."

"And that's alright," Chimney replied. "I just want you to be happy wherever you've ended up."

Buck smiled softly and nodded. "I am here… It's different but it's nice."

"That's good, Buck," Hen smiled. "You deserve happiness, especially after what we all did and didn't do to you and for you. And Buck, I wish I could turn back time and fix it all. You didn't deserve what happened and you're one of the strongest people I know… Buck, Evan, I'm so sorry for letting you down the way I did."

Buck nodded again. "Thanks, Hen. That… That means a lot. And... Bobby?"

The fire captain tensed but responded, "Yeah?"

"I have to know… Why exactly did you hold me back?"

Bobby felt his throat turn dry. He swallowed and let out a soft sigh, "Worry. The accident made me realize that no matter how strong we may be, we're still mortal. I just… I was so scared of something happening to you, Buck, and I ended up thinking I could protect you from whatever that something may have been. And… when I didn't get my way, I took it out on you. I'm sorry for that, I'm so incredibly sorry for hurting you like I did, Buck."

A small, slightly-amused smile appeared on Buck's lips. "So it's like Owen thought then… Worry got in the way when I'm a grown man and can take care of myself."

"Being able to take care of yourself has nothing to do with getting a fire truck dropped on you," Bobby countered.

"Fair point." Buck let out a soft chuckle. "But I think you would get along with the captain here, he's all about self care."

"Who're you talking to about me?" Another man appeared over Buck's shoulder with an amused grin. "Better not be anything bad, Buckley, remember you're under my roof on and off duty."

"No sir," Buck grinned in return. "I just think you and Bobby would get along well."

"Yeah? Well from captain to captain, this kid's trouble."

"Hey," Buck said indignantly.

Bobby chuckled and nodded. "He is, but he's got a big heart."

"He does." Owen ruffled the younger man's hair, getting his hand swatted away with a pout. "He already has most of the team wrapped around his finger and he's too sweet to admit it."

And with that, Owen disappeared from view and he walked away, though he could be heard shouting, "Don't wrestle on top of the truck, children! You could hurt yourselves! Strickland, throw a rag or something at my idiot sons, will you?!" Bobby hummed softly in confusion but the guy seemed like a good man and a good fire captain. The LA captain knew Buck would be safe and in good hands and he relaxed knowing that.

"I'm not that sweet," Buck mumbled. "Am I that sweet?"

Chimney nodded almost instantly, "You've just got this aura. Like a baby but older."

Buck's brows furrowed at that while Hen laughed and playfully swatted Chimney's head.

"Are you going to come back?" Buck blinked as Eddie spoke for the first time. He hesitated in responding, unsure of how to reply, when Eddie continued, "You weren't going to stay there permanently, right? Your place is here, Buck, your home is here."

"I…" Buck bit his lip before quietly murmuring, "It's not home anymore."

Eddie frowned and Buck tried to prepare himself for the minor confrontation he knew was coming. Eddie always got a certain look in his eyes when he was about to go on a rant about something he felt strongly about, whether it was positive or negative, and Buck could see that look now even through a screen.

"Eddie," Bobby's voice was stern but it didn't prevent the man from speaking.

"Not home?" Eddie questioned. His voice wasn't loud or angry, but it was confused and rather demanding. "How can this not be home anymore, Buck? It's barely been a week since you left, you can't feel nearly as at home there as you were here. And we all feel horrible and are incredibly sorry for what we all did and didn't do for you, so why can't you come back? Are you just going to abandon us?"

The sound of a blaring alarm was suddenly heard and Buck looked up before ducking his head again. "Sorry guys, duty calls. I'll find time to call back later, alright?"

"Sounds good. Be safe out there, Buck," Bobby said with a small, genuine smile.

Buck nodded, "I will be, I promise."

He gave them one of his famous Evan Buckley smiles and then the call ended.

A long exhale passed Chimney's lips. "Well, that went mostly well..."

"If you call Buck not coming back, well," Eddie mumbled.

"Eddie," Hen tutted, giving him a stern look that made the man sigh heavily.

"How— How can he not be coming back?" Eddie said. He wiped a hand down his face and rested his elbows on the table. "We're his family, right? I—"

"Just because he's left doesn't mean we're not still family," Bobby cut the man off. "I don't exactly like it either but it's not our choice. I can trust that Buck will keep in touch and while it won't be the same, it's better than severing ties completely."

Eddie sighed again. "I just… I'll miss having him around."

"So will we, Eddie," Chimney said, placing a hand on his teammate's shoulder. "So will we."

•••

Buck stared at the screen of the call he had just ended. A small groan passed his lips and he rested his head in his hands, elbows on the dining table in front of him.

"Thanks, Nancy."

The woman nodded and stopped the alarm noise coming from her phone. "You looked uncomfortable. Everything alright?"

She walked over to the kitchen of the firehouse, heading for the refrigerator. Buck watched her, trying to figure out how to reply. He didn't know what to say. He didn't feel alright but he couldn't find the right words...

"The friends from your old team called, right?" Nancy inquired. She pulled a pink smoothie out of the refrigerator and came back to sit across from Buck. "Other than that last bit, how'd it go?"

"Just a little tiring," Buck replied. "Did you know forgiving people is really hard? There's that whole forgive and forget thing but it's so much more complicated."

Nancy nodded in agreement. "It is. It takes time and when you forgive them is your choice. No one can force you to forgive when you're not ready. Remember that, and don't feel bad when it doesn't happen as soon as you may want it to. Forgiving is more or a heart thing than a head thing."

"Maybe you should be a therapist on the side," Buck said with a smile. "That's good advice, Nancy, thank you."

Nancy smiled in return. "Of course. I think I'll stick with just being a paramedic though."

"Or you could give out life advice in the ambulance."

"What, like don't puke on the people trying to help you and save your life?"

Buck shrugged, "That's solid advice."

A fit of laughter bubbled past his lips and Nancy joined soon after. For Buck, it felt good to laugh, and to feel so carefree and unburdened. It had been a long while since he could feel so joyful with his team around him. To feel so open like that again felt incredible.

"Nancy." Both Nancy and Buck looked over at Michelle's voice as she came down the steps from the upper level. "Paramedic call."

Nancy nodded and threw a smile to the firefighter. "Well, duty calls. It was nice talking to you, Buck."

"Yeah, you too," Buck replied. He watched her hurry off towards the ambulance and called, "Don't forget the life advice!"

Nancy laughed and gave a salute in reply, climbing into the passenger side of the ambulance. Buck saw Michelle and Tim give her some confused yet amused looks and then they were gone. A soft chuckle passed Buck's lips as he envisioned getting advice while being taken to a hospital. It was likely something he would do if he were ever a paramedic… Well, there was the incident involving a tapeworm. He was sort of like a paramedic there and that didn't go too bad.

"What're you laughing about over here?"

Buck looked up to see Alexander walking over. "Hey. Just remembering this one really weird call."

Alexander bent down, wrapping his arms around the man from behind and resting his head on Buck's shoulder. "Did everything go alright with the call from your LA friends?"

"For the most part." Buck shifted and tapped his fingers against the table, his next words soft and subdued. "Though do you ever feel like… This one quality you showed has become expected of you so now you always have to be relied on to show that one quality? I'm just so tired of being the one ready to sacrifice their own needs or wants for their friends."

"Did they say something?" Alexander asked darkly.

"It was just Eddie… I think he's still pissed at me. He wants me to go back."

"That sounds more like he misses you and doesn't know how to cope."

Buck smiled softly, "So you're not gonna drive to LA just to punch him?"

"Maybe not," Alexander replied with a soft chuckle. "Besides, I don't think I want to punch an ex-army medic. And if I'm going to LA, I believe you promised to show me around the next time I was there so you would have to come along… Do you feel bad for being the person you are?"

"No," Buck's reply was instant. "No, I don't. I just feel a little tired of it. I love being able to be there for my friends and to help them when they need it."

"You just need to have some moments for yourself?" Alexander guessed. "That's not an outrageous request, Evan. It's alright to say no sometimes when others ask for help. If it's not a 'life, death or serious injury' situation, I mean."

Buck smiled in amusement. "I know. You don't always need to look out for me, you know."

"What if I like to?" Alexander returned.

"What if I want to take care of you?"

Alexander chuckled softly. "I don't see why it can't go both ways."

"Then this weekend after our shifts, why don't we go out together?" Buck suggested, a grin growing on his lips. "I'm sure we can find some sort of trouble to get into."

Alexander grinned in return, "Why Evan Buckley, are you asking me on a date?"

"Maybe I am. Are you agreeing to go on a date with me?"

"I am." Alexander chuckled softly.

"About time," Marjan threw in as she walked past.

Buck and Alexander both shared a look of rolled eyes and amused smiles.

A small chuckle passed Buck's lips, "Let's maybe keep it a secret from the rest of them."